Is it too late to be a father at 45 ? chat & forums.

Show ALL Forums

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Author

Thread: Is it too late to be a father at 45 ?

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

Is it too late to be a father at 45 ? Posted: 12/8/2012 6:51:52 PM
I think it's complete bull for people to be so adamant about women rights to do whatever it takes to have a baby at an older age... yet people jump on men for even thinking about having children in his 40s.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

Competing with other guys (advice) Posted: 12/2/2012 7:31:31 PM
Who is arguing? The point is what he said in the beginning about how he feels about this girl seems like he may be setting himself up for disappoint in case this might not work out. As helpme said, he needs to chill out and just let things happen. The lady let him know ahead of time she's seeing other guys - which instead of OP taking it how it is, he decided to take it as a challenge, up his game, and try to win her over. I'm sure if/when she feels the same level of feeling for him as he does her, she will want to date him exclusively. Until then, I think OP needs to relax and let things happen. He doesn't want to push her away - which may happen if he lets her know what's he's said here.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Competing with other guys (advice) Posted: 12/2/2012 7:15:52 PM
No, you just said you're infatuated with her... and you want to win her over from all the other guys she's dating.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Competing with other guys (advice) Posted: 12/2/2012 3:45:53 PM
I honestly don't feel like dates should be competitions. You shouldn't be competing to win someone's love. If I felt like I had to compete with other ladies, I probably would lose interest. I'm just myself; if that's not good enough for a guy - then he should move on. That's not necessarily saying I have a problem with dating multiple people at once, though. It's something I've done once or twice and I don't have a problem with guys dating other ladies at first. I mean, the point is to get to know people to see who you're compatible with. Most of the time it doesn't make me feel the need to impress the guy or out do the other girls. If he likes me, he likes me and if he doesn't - he doesn't. That's all there is to it. I'm going to side with most of the guys here. I also feel like, while a first date kiss may not be a requirement - it's not a game to me. I don't want to put off kissing to leave the other person wanting more. That's ridiculous. If you want to kiss - kiss. In fact, in most of the dates where the guy DIDN'T kiss me I felt as if he wasn't interested. That doesn't leave me wanting more - that leaves me not wanting to see him again.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 91 (view)

Pictures of your Ex Posted: 12/2/2012 3:33:40 PM
I remember the pain I felt when I was 10 and 11 and after my parents divorced, my grandmother cut my mom out of certain pictures and threw others of her away. I still hate my mom and I probably always will. I miss seeing those pictures of her when I loved her, though. I have purposely made a collection of pictures and things that belonged to my son's father. He hasn't seen them yet, but one day I plan on giving him the collection. He knows nothing of his dad. I'd prefer for them not to meet each other. But I want my son to know what his dad was like. I keep pictures. All of my pictures. They are memories. They illustrate the past. That doesn't mean I still want that to be my future, but I do want to hold on to those memories of the past. I'd be sad if someone expected me to throw away pictures of my ex. With that said, though, I don't have walls covered with pictures of ex boyfriends.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Should I be upfront about my health problems right away? Posted: 12/1/2012 10:39:20 PM
I'd suggest you tell them what the exact cause for this "chronic" pain stems from HAHA; because everyone with chronic pain knows where it's coming from. OP - Tell them. Be upfront. Just use logic in the way you do it, though. I casually mention my arthritis and health issues in the past as soon as I can bring it up without sounding awkward. I don't focus on it; I don't want it to define me. I've just found that guys do better when they know this like this beforehand.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

She wants to wear a tux and be a groomsman at the wedding!!! Posted: 12/1/2012 10:35:08 PM
I stood by my best friend as his "best woman" in his wedding. I didn't wear a tux, but neither did he. I could've worn pants, but his wife preferred a dress so that's what I wore. If I ever get married, I want him to stand by my side. I would've preferred to stand by my brother's side at his wedding instead of beside of his wife - who I don't really like. I also wanted to say there are ladies that have worn suits and tuxes before and stood next to a groom on his wedding day that are not gay. Dude, there's nothing wrong with this. Apparently it's what she wants and it's what the couple wants. It's not up to you.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

I just don't feel like i have time Posted: 12/1/2012 10:23:45 PM
Then don't date. What was so hard about that?

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Single Mother.......Do these words make it an automatic NO? Posted: 11/26/2012 12:08:47 AM
You're doomed forever. ...seriously, what's with the homemaker thing? That's probably turning off guys faster than just the simple fact you're a mother.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

is masturbation or porn cheating Posted: 11/25/2012 8:08:16 PM
I don't think of it as cheating at all. Sometimes, I can see why it would be used despite being in a relationship. I think there would start to be a problem if the masturbation/porn started replacing sex within the relationship or starting causing other problems for that person. There's also a difference between watching porn and actually talking to people who are sending you nude photographs or pornographic material.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 116 (view)

Bareback Sex! Posted: 11/25/2012 7:04:22 PM
I agree with you, rhymes. If someone is completely unable or unwilling to deal with a possible pregnancy, they shouldn't even have sex at all. Acting haughty because you use condoms and someone else doesn't is simply ridiculous, especially when you think condoms will always prevent pregnancy. At least bakulu isn't a woman saying that. NFP methods are wonderful for women to actually understand what's going on with their bodies - even beyond sex and pregnancy. Still, it's nice to know when you can have sex(without condoms or other artificial birth control) and still not get pregnant.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 59 (view)

Kissing Posted: 11/25/2012 3:37:18 PM
No, I don't find it acceptable to have an affair as long as there isn't kissing involved. No, I don't find that kissing is more intimate than sex. No, that doesn't mean I hate kissing.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 114 (view)

Bareback Sex! Posted: 11/25/2012 2:20:48 PM
Science/biology isn't a lie.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Its the holiday season and it seems like girlfriend is leaving me out of them what to do? Posted: 11/25/2012 9:47:45 AM
OP- You've only been seeing her a week. It seems to me like there are some guys who expect women to be ready to move fast with them - especially during the holidays. Give it time and get to know her before you expect her to invite you over to see her family during Christmas. ETA: Still, I know you've been talking to her a while, but you just started dating her in this way. Some people need more time for them to be more comfortable about introducing someone to their families, especially before spending holidays with them.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Feeling a connection Posted: 11/24/2012 9:37:42 PM
Try to change your approach? Find more people? Different people? In different venues, or that come from a different backgrounds? Open yourself up for me. Look for more. Maybe you're seeking the wrong people that don't feel a connection to you.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 108 (view)

Bareback Sex! Posted: 11/24/2012 9:19:06 PM
not wearing a jimmy and busting inside??? you sir, are asking for the govnerment to garnish your wages.... take it from a guy who has no kids, never, and i mean never bust inside especially if you not wearing a hat! Gah, the ignorance... have you ever heard of fertility awareness/natural family planning?

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 74 (view)

Sweet tasting white female secretions Posted: 11/21/2012 8:03:39 AM
It was probably a yeast infection; or some cream/application she placed into her vagina; because no secretions from humans are normally "sweet"; they are usually salty. Anything sweet is indicative of either a foreign substance or disease! ROTFL. Such an ignorant post. The few and far between posts saying it's mucus/discharge are correct. Somewhat thick white discharge is common for many women at certain times during their cycles. And it's sweet, at least it always has been in my experiences. Breast milk can be very sweet to the taste to; that's totally normal. Funky smells/tastes are typically more indicative of an infection. Fertility awareness/natural family planning's awesome. I think it helps women be more in touch with their bodies. There's also a discharge that's similar to the appearance and texture of egg whites and discharge that is very watery; that indicates the women is fertile and can get pregnant easier. Sperm can travel to the cervix easier. Creamy/sticky thicker mucus indicates a less fertile time period, as sperm would have a hard time traveling through it.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

friends .. well are they ??? Posted: 11/20/2012 8:10:47 PM
You know, I don't have the mindset that being a parent has made me "lose" who I am. I'm still me. Being a parent is a HUGE part of my life now. I want my friends to be able to appreciate that. Yes, I can't do some of the stuff we used to do together anymore. However, I'm lucky enough to have some friends who understand that and accept it. I've lost a lot of friends, but I have a better group of friends now that suit my lifestyle. I know it sucks and it's hard to accept, but you can definitely lose friends when you become a parent. You just need to find some people that want to be friends with the dad you.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Ex-girlfriend won't give back deceased mothers ring Posted: 11/20/2012 3:57:36 AM
Is the ring worth that much drama?... Personally, I'd let it go, as nothing is worth this much drama... Did you miss the small fact it was his deceased mother's ring? And that he just made a thread on a dating site forum about it? Obviously it is that important to him. Come on, people. Wake up and get some decency.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Girl stood me up, have I made the right call? Posted: 11/20/2012 12:51:21 AM
This is just one possibility... but maybe she was just using you all along. You did those things for her at work, so she acted all nice. Maybe she's still stuck on the ex - and/or talking to him. When she got lonely, she called you. Pretended she's interested when she really wasn't. Then she had to find a way out of what she already told you. shrug I know it seems like you really liked her, but obviously she didn't show she cared for your feelings. I wouldn't waste my time worrying about her and move on. ^^YES daddy? move around? Are you drunk? o.O

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Ex-girlfriend won't give back deceased mothers ring Posted: 11/20/2012 12:40:56 AM
Does she wear it frequently? If so, I'd invite her over or out somewhere. Be friendly. Then ask for it back nicely. If not, I'd threaten to take it to the police and she what she does. Good luck. Yes, when you give someone something it's technically theirs... but something this sentimental? She'd have to be a complete coldhearted b?t$h to not give it back, that is, if she still has it. And if she sold it or something similar? She's still probably coldhearted.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Strangest Places Posted: 11/20/2012 12:35:19 AM
weirdest: between some bookshelves in the back corner of a public library -- good experience, but honestly the only time i've ever really been afraid of getting caught the entire time. favorite: in a car, in a somewhat crowded parking lot at night. you can be seen, but it's not always so obvious.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

What makes a girl go from dating material to girlfriend material to wife material? Posted: 11/19/2012 9:06:47 PM
Since this continually happens to you, I think you should consider the fact it's something you're causing or attracting.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

What makes a girl go from dating material to girlfriend material to wife material? Posted: 11/19/2012 8:33:36 PM
I've been proposed to a few times. When you show that you TRULY care for a person that you're serious with... when you talk and have open and honest communication... I think, then, that most men would consider proposing. Maybe you're making it obvious you just want to be married, and it scares them that you just want a marriage - not to be married TO HIM.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

Sexuality standards Posted: 11/19/2012 8:22:20 PM
People are attracted to what they're attracted to, and not attracted to what they're not attracted to. I've met plenty of men who were repulsed by the fact I'm attracted to other women and I've actually done stuff with other women. I'm not on here complaining about it. They're just not compatible with me. Just like the women who are turned off by this guy having a sexual experience with another guy aren't compatible with him. Move on.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 59 (view)

Who else finds pregnant women sexy Posted: 11/19/2012 6:19:29 PM
Well, we're just pleased to know the type of people you associate yourself with, kasa.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

At what point do I give up? Posted: 11/18/2012 10:43:40 PM
I don't see how people are willing to fawn over somebody that obviously wants to be with other people and has made that clear. Now is the time to get over him. You can't force people to love you.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Sexuality standards Posted: 11/18/2012 7:53:19 PM
Yes, however the fact that you (or anyone else that does as well) like bi or lesbian women and thinks it's hot, cool or acceptable, and yet a bi or gay man isn't is the double standard here. I'm the opposite of you, I'm not interested in women as sexual partners, but a bi man is a turn on for me. It's a double standard because I'm attracted to women that are attracted to women but not attracted to men who are attracted to men? Oh, that's interesting. So tell me more about how it's a double standard for you to be attracted to bi men but not bi women.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Sexuality standards Posted: 11/18/2012 3:29:13 PM
Gay or bi guys don't appeal to me... but bi and lesbian women do. What's wrong with that? How is that unfair? How is that BS? I don't get it. People like what they like and don't like what they don't. That's just life. No one should have to be attracted to anybody else.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

How do you handle the convos where... Posted: 11/18/2012 9:21:23 AM
And what better way to find out what interests other people than by talking to them? Or reading their profiles? You don't have to go on one of those painful job interview-esque first dates in order to find out what interests another person. Not with online dating, at least. That's why we have profiles - so we can share information about ourselves. From there, messages do not have to be "what's your favorite color? movie? song? Do you like sports?" We already know what interests the other person judging by what's in their profiles and the content of the messages. By having a conversation instead of playing 20 questions. By sharing MORE information about what we're interested in, and the other people sharing more information about what they're interested in... finding what interests both people involved and what doesn't.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 89 (view)

Is there really ever a Mutual Breakup? Posted: 11/18/2012 8:39:48 AM
I've had one mutual breakup I remember well. It still hurt me like crazy, though. And no, I don't believe he was/is my sole mate or anything like that. I guess, at the time, I initiated most(well, by that I kind of mean all) of the breakups in my past. This guy was special. Different, but we really got along well. I was happy with him and he was happy with me... until we discovered we had different views about what we wanted out of life. I was ready for a large family soon. He wanted to be married, but didn't want to have children until way later in his life - if at all. He wanted to move back to AZ - and while I wanted to move, AZ doesn't appeal to me at all. We both felt we needed to end it for a week or so. The next time we were together - he started the conversation. It wasn't an "I'm breaking up with you" conversation, but a "we have two totally different mindsets, can we compromise?" At that point, I knew there was no compromise. Neither of us would be happy if we did. I told him that, which I knew he knew himself. He agreed. He made a comment like "well, I guess this is it... I hope you find someone perfect for you; you deserve it." I said the same to him. It tore me up because it did, at the time, feel like he was breaking up with me. I realize now it was a mutual breakup. I guess it hurt so bad because I was used to being the one to end it. And because we were happy with each other, but we knew it couldn't continue. We remained friends. I still kind of consider him my best friend. He got married and moved not too terribly long ago and we haven't talked much since then, though. I guess our friendship is in the past now. I think I've had a few mutual breakups since then. Less painful, for sure. I don't think it's impossible.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

How do you handle the convos where... Posted: 11/18/2012 8:22:58 AM
I'm probably guilty of this myself. At least the self-aware me believes I am. My messages on here are rather lengthy. I usually only respond to messages now when I feel that the guy will be the same with his messages and not be bothered by it. I share a lot of personal stories and talk about myself a lot. I expect the guy to do the same. He tells a story, I tell one. He shares his experience with something, I share mine. It's not because I'm trying to make it all about me - it's because I'm trying to allow him to get to know me just like I want to get to know him. Quite a number of guys have expressed their confusion of why I don't ask many questions. Well, I figure, if he wants to share something with me then he will. I shouldn't have to ask. That's when it gets awkward for me- when communication does turn into a game of 20 questions. Perhaps the men you are talking to are similar. Maybe if you listen to him talk about himself and share some talk about yourself, it wouldn't be an issue. Maybe that won't help, but just trying here.

kafirrr

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Returning the “Stuff” Posted: 11/17/2012 8:38:09 PM
I have a few things of my exs. One ex I lived with... I left him. I packed up my belongings and left. I didn't realize at the time I had one of his CDs still in my car. I also had some of his military stuff that was left in the car. I felt bad about it at first, but I didn't want to contact him. I felt so bad I tried calling him once but he did not answer. I realized that I left things "we" bought together with my money - like movies, dishes, cookware, furniture, my iron and ironing board... so I figured it wasn't a big deal. I talked to him later on and I brought up the stuff I still had of his - he told me to keep it. I'm glad I have it, though. The CD reminds me of how our relationship used to be. One day I'll show our son his dad's military stuff.

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 33 (view)

Best Condoms Posted: 11/17/2012 6:47:40 PM
SKYN, Durex, and other brands that make polyurethane condoms(non-latex) can still protect against STDs. Lamb-skins are the type of condoms that do not protect against STDs.

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

1st date tonight but somethings not right!! Posted: 11/17/2012 5:46:40 PM
OP is just making me laugh. This has to be fake.

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Best Condoms Posted: 11/17/2012 3:07:38 PM
The best condoms are no condoms. Lol. Sorry. Seriously, though, I know I've read a lot about guys saying they just don't like the feel with condoms... and then people coming back to say you can't tell a difference. Well, even I can tell a difference between sex with a condom and sex without. It doesn't even matter what type, even though some brands are better than others at making the experience more natural. It's still not the same. I still prefer not to use condoms if possible. I like the closeness it provides. I've never thought of it a big deal to go get condoms. It always turns me off for a guy to be awkward about it, though. If we're in the store together - what's the big deal of getting condoms together? So what if someone sees you buying them?If you want to ask me a question about it - why not just ask it? And no, I don't really care if you get banana flavored or whatever... just get some condoms and let's go. The only time it's a major problem for me is if the guy gets condoms that are too big just to try to impress. Dude, I can see how big it is anyway. The only time I've didn't mind going with a guy to get condoms was with a guy who was allergic to latex. We had the hardest time finding any non-latex condom around the area, but we finally found the durex ones. They honestly seemed like better condoms to me than any of the others... but meh.

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 50 (view)

Women receiving oral slutty/selfish? Posted: 11/17/2012 2:53:10 PM
...I think maybe the trick is to let them know there are limits in place but still not sound too clinical in your choice of words or sound like a paragraph from a sex manual because that could be a turn-off... Thanks - this actually helped me quite a bit. I've been trying to find a way to say it without sounding like a sex manual, like you said. I think that's what I had trouble with; guys feel differently about it. Some don't have a problem with only fooling around at first. I wish there was just an easy way to know without having to talk about it much because I want to make who I'm with happy, you know? I don't have a problem getting them off... even without actual intercourse, but it still doesn't seem to be enough for some guys I've recently dated.

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 132 (view)

Pegging, from the woman's perspective Posted: 11/17/2012 2:44:46 PM
There's not understanding things and then there's condemning anyone who is interested in those things to being something they aren't. I don't understand the appeal many of my aquaintences feel for certain things. I do understand their desire to engage in them. Understanding why someone does something doesn't mean I want to do it myself. I didn't condemn anyone. Like I said, I don't care if someone likes and engages in anal or not. I just don't understand how it's attractive and not disgusting to people. I really just don't get it. That doesn't mean that I have a problem with them doing it or I'm going to attack them for doing it. If it doesn't involve me and it's not hurting someone else, they can do as they wish. I simply do not understand why they would want to. Right there you are basically saying you think everyone should think like you do. That's wrong. That is wrong; that's not what I said. Thanks for implying that and getting on me for your assumption, though. "I don't want to feel like I'm the guy when I'm not..." That assumes that other women feel the same as you do. I can assure we are not a hive mind. Because you can't even see the potential for anal sex to be pleasurable, you aren't even open to hearing from others that it is pleasurable to them. How does my statement of MY own personal feelings assume anything about other women? It doesn't. I never said other women feel the same. I even said just the opposite. I don't see how it is pleasurable.... but I know for a fact other people think it is. I don't understand that, but I've heard plenty of people say the enjoy it. I don't see how you're getting these deductions. Because all women should never want to do something to their man that would make them seem less feminine? My feminine role is to have power over my male partner. That is the type of relationship we have. He likes his bum being played with. I like playing with his bum. That does not make him less of a man or me less of a woman. You're putting words in my mouth. Also, society outlines gender roles and what's considered feminine and what's considered masculine. You may like having control over your partner during sex, but that's not what society considers feminine. I never said anybody is less of a man or less of a woman. Most of us are what we were born - either man or woman. There are feminine men and there are masculine women. That's nothing wrong with that. However, not all women are feminine and not all men are masculine. What you like, your preferences, etc. shapes that. Saying "I respect the man, he respects me" implies that those of us that do things differently don't have the same respect. That is not the case. No, ma'am, it doesn't. If you would have fully read my reply in context of the OP's post, you would be able to see that. The OP said "One did say she had developed a new respect for what guys actually have to bring to more conventional sex, being in the "driver's seat", having to think about depth..." and I was explained how I have respect for the men in my relationships WITHOUT having to act like the man usually acts. That's not saying anything about anybody else. But I don't like the implication that there can't be respect for the other role without having to assume that role at times. I used to think this way too about anal. Didn't think I'd like it, thought it was gross and disgusting, had absolutely no interest in experiencing it. That all changed when I met a man that approached me in the right way, with the right attitude, and willingness to explore together. Like I said before, I'm willing to try many things - EVEN if I don't think I'll like them. I've tried anal. I've had guys penetrate my anus, I've inserted things into a guys anus before, and I've even had a guy lick mine before. And all of that has just reconfirmed my disgust with it. People who think just because you try something that you'll like it are wrong.

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 129 (view)

Pegging, from the woman's perspective Posted: 11/17/2012 8:50:11 AM
If bringing anything involving one's ass into sex turns ya off, then penetrating his ass is probly not gonna be any more stimulating than having your own penetrated. Isn't that obvious from my post? My point was that, basically, I don't see why any guy(or any woman for that matter) sees any type of anal sex as pleasurable and not disgusting. We all know the function of the anus... and seeing that in a sexual way is rather disturbing. Now, I honestly don't care how much you like getting pegging or screwed up the backside by anybody. Good for you, but it's just not something I'm into and I do not understand the appeal to it. belief that Nature (or some deity) has decreed that penetrating is exclusively a guy thing, and being penetrated is totally girlish. If you were speaking from actual experience, and you came away having "felt like man" while pegging your partner, I'd give your comment more weight It's some of both, actually. Nature/science/whateveryoucallit dictates what parts women have and what parts men have. I don't see the purpose of toys in a sexual relationship between a man and a woman in anyway. Why have something fake in me when I can have something real? Why would I want to put something fake in a man, in a place that's primary function is to expel waste, when we both get gratification from sexual intercourse. Secondly, I've been asked to do a lot that I did try but did not like. For the most part, I think I know what I will or will not like before I try it... but I don't turn down opportunities to try many things. At least then I know for sure I don't like it and it just reaffirms my position. Anything like this does not make me feel feminine. Being more dominant makes me feel less feminine. And I don't like that feeling. I mean, how could you possibly know what it feels like to be/live as a guy? I've obviously never been a guy... but to think that we have to be in a certain position or circumstance to understand what it's like to be in that position or circumstance is a little dumb in my opinion. Guys haven't experienced pregnancy... but I'm sure there are some guys who have a good idea of what pregnancy entails. I've never been black, but I have a good idea of the racial discrimination blacks have faced. I guess it's my love of history and mindset that helps me see things the way I do... but honestly, I think everyone needs to understand this. Like I tell my students, there's a lot of history we've never lived through but that doesn't mean we can't seek to have a good understanding of it. The same thing applies here. We can't become other people, but we can seek to better understand where they've been and what they've been through. Neither even vaguely mentioned feeling like the guy; if anything, each seemed to feel like a more empowered, more "rounded", total woman. One did say she had developed a new respect for what guys actually have to bring to more conventional sex, being in the "driver's seat", having to think about depth, and speed, and angles, and balance, and leverage, and making adjustments to all of those based on bodily or verbal responses (back-seat driving? lolz) from him. Okay, so what they didn't mention it? I'm stating how I feel. I don't claim to speak for all women. Having more sexual power/control doesn't make me feel more like a "total woman;" it makes me feel less feminine and less womanly. I respect what men do to me... but that doesn't mean I feel the need to take on that role myself. I have my own role in my sexual relationships. I think respect is important. I respect the man, he respects me. But that doesn't mean I want to act like him and he should act like me at times. It seems like, honestly, you're not demonstrating knowledge and appreciation of the more feminine role.

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Women receiving oral slutty/selfish? Posted: 11/15/2012 7:11:46 PM
Not sure why women seem to think men would lose respect for them if they share intimacy with them on any level? I feel the same way. That doesn't make sense to me. There is a conundrum this thread raises for me. When doing anything sexual/intimate(and I mean beyond kissing) on the first few dates, should the line you're drawing be talked about before the clothes go off? Honestly, there have been times I've felt like a tease because I felt comfortable going to some levels... but not going all the way. I normally don't see it as a problem but I've felt like it's made one or two guys feel let down. I mean, if it's only the second date, should I say, "I don't feel comfortable having sexual intercourse with you yet, but I wouldn't mind giving you a blowjob." I'm not opposed to talking about sex at all, but that just seems like it'd take the fun out of it.

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 86 (view)

Bondage (BDSM) Posted: 11/15/2012 6:59:30 PM
"I think a submissive has a right to choose what he wants to submit to and what he doesn't want to submit to. Such like limitations and what his areas of interest are." I definitely agree with that. I'm very submissive, but there are certain areas that I just naturally prefer to have control over. There are also times/situations where, if someone tries to control me... I'd either get angry or just laugh in his face. Like, I need to be in control over my finances. I will make my own parenting choices. It's been a problem for me personally. When I tell people I'm submissive, there are some guys who seem to take it to mean I'm submissive in all areas of life. That's just not the case. It seems hard to find the perfect balance lately. And that just sucks. I understand there is more to dominate and submissive relationships than just sex... but I also understand everyone has their own personal ideas of what they want and how they want to be dominant/submissive. The key is just finding someone that will match with your ideas. It's not criticizing others for only being dominant or submissive sexually...

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 172 (view)

Showering together.....is it intimate? Posted: 11/15/2012 6:36:34 PM
sigh. I must be the only person evar to not like showering with a partner. for reasons other than poor self esteem, at least. I guess it's something I'll just have to settle with...

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 168 (view)

Showering together.....is it intimate? Posted: 11/14/2012 7:08:54 PM
I don't enjoy it, to be honest. The only time I've been happy to shower with my partner was when we both needed to quickly get ready and leave the house... and neither of us wanted to wait on the other. It just does nothing for me. I guess it has something to do with the fact I like quick showers and I don't see them as a time to just relax/whatever.

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 55 (view)

Who else finds pregnant women sexy Posted: 11/14/2012 7:05:12 PM
Having sex with a pregnant woman or lactating woman is beautiful, sexy, hot and a turn on... Why does a guy have to preform oral sex on a woman then? That is yucky... What about women who choose to use a dildo or vibrator instead of using the real thing. That is creepy and wierd! I actually agree with all of this. Just saying. lesbians supposedly are attracted to pregnant women as well.. something about the pheromones a pregnant woman emits. I can't speak for all lesbian/bisexual women, but pregnant women are more attractive to me. If I were to ever been in a long term relationship with a woman, she'd have to be okay with getting pregnant...

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 126 (view)

Pegging, from the woman's perspective Posted: 11/14/2012 6:53:00 PM
I don't understand guys who are into anal in anyway. I don't want to feel like I'm the guy when I'm not...

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 94 (view)

Sexiest Song Posted: 11/14/2012 6:33:01 PM
Cryhavoc - Repent Next - Too Close Deftones - Sextape Ginuwine - Pony Pantera - This Love Depeche Mode - Enjoy the Silence, Personal Jesus Which I prefer depends on how I'm feeling at the time.... but all of these songs can pretty much get me going... or are just good sex songs in general. Some for the lyrics, some just for the rhythm... And, as odd as it may seem, there are a number of Slipknot songs that I've enjoyed hearing while having sex.

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

situation with a rapist? Posted: 11/14/2012 3:48:10 AM
It was more than just venting. Some of the responses helped me a lot. That night, we did go to someone else's house to sleep and so I could talk. One of the posters commented about child protective services... I didn't even think about that, and that information was helpful to me. I don't mind people saying get a restraining order... but seriously, it's hurtful when people are asking me why I didn't report it, why he's not locked up, and why I'm putting off getting a restraining order(that I don't want to go through anyway). Because I DID report it. Because it's not up to me if he's locked up or not. And those comments really aren't helpful. I have not reclaimed my life? Hah. I do have the power to pick up my gun and shoot if he steps on my property... and that's something I will do.

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

transgender Posted: 11/13/2012 8:35:29 PM
In college (Im a drop out! LOL) We studied how we are all first females, the dom gen wins with leaving you that way or dropping a penis. We the creature known as human, are very complexed, but really a marvel. lol, WHUT?

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

mens bulges Posted: 11/13/2012 8:03:35 PM
It seems to me the guys with "bigger bulges" wear looser pants. Sometimes it still shows, of course... but I don't care to see it while I'm walking around and can't really do anything about getting excited. If I can do something about it, I want to be where I can feel and see it without his pants on.... and seriously, I've always wondered what type of ladies check out men's asses. It just seems... gay to me. I'm not going near anyone's ass, why do I care how big it is? o.O

thisiswar

Joined: 8/27/2008

Msg: 92 (view)

Do women really need to come to POF for sex? Posted: 11/13/2012 7:55:54 PM
"but guys tend to try to woo you to yahoo land ..... where it's much easier and they can offer to turn on the cam...." bahaha. I hate yahoo land. I refuse to yahoo with anyone anymore because now, when I get on, there's always this guy I started talking to from here that will ask me watch his cam. He DOES NOT STOP. It's like... dude, really? If I want sex, I want sex. I don't want you jacking off on your webcam. sigh.

Show ALL Forums