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myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

He-llo a little critiquing required Posted: 7/23/2009 9:00:29 AM
Well, it's a little long, and you could probably get the same information about yourself in a lit less space; but that in and of itself says something about who you are. I don't see any major problems with your profile.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Friendship between Men and Women Posted: 7/23/2009 8:48:28 AM
Funny, I actually went through this fairly recently with a very close friend who i've known for years; I took the fade off into the past route; I was making her husband to be, jealous, and his family was talking about my relationship with her behind my back. Esentially I realized that for him to be at ease, and for her to ultimatly be able to be happy with him I had to get out of the picture, it really hurt her feelings (and mine, we had been through a lot as friends; and she was always there for me) but it was for the best... Just give it time, I don't believe in fate, but I do believe that the universe gives us back what we give it; if you let your friend be happy in his new life without you, you'll be happier in the long run; and years down the road you might be able to be friends again, than you can flaunt your better half in front of his. Lol. Good luck, it's a hard thing to do, but I do suggest just getting out of the picture.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Not interested Posted: 7/23/2009 8:32:58 AM
If you are not interested, you are not interested; plain and simple. Don't drag things out, don't play games; most women will simply stop comunication with someone they are not interested in, and if they are not interested, they simply will not respond; that is the average responce... If you want to be above average, just tell him you are not interested... Most guys will appreciate that, but some guys will cling like no tommorow if you respond, ultimately it's up to you. If you were talking about one of my friends or myself, I know I'd throw an e-mail back (and I have) just to say thanks for the honesty and good luck with your search; but as I said, there are some real creeps out there. Good luck with your search.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Why would he do this? Posted: 7/23/2009 8:22:53 AM
To me it sounds like he was just trying to show that he was in control, perhaps make your friend jealous. Essentially your friend should do what she is probably already dooing; just stay away. A lot of guys I've talked to have had success making a woman they want to be with jealous, succeeding in dooing so, and getting what they want out of it. Guys that would do this in ANY way are up to no good because one way or another someone is going to get hurt. So I suppose the most direct answer to your question is: he was being an idiot.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Am I in Denial here? Posted: 5/15/2009 7:49:51 PM
No offence, but it sounds more like you are playing with him than the other way around; not to mention everyone else that saw your profile while you had selected long term but only wanted conversation. You should probably decide what you want before you can expect him to act a certain way. Once you know that, then do what you need to, to find out what he is interested in; but we don’t have enough information on this guy to give you an honest answer as to what he wants.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Has Nothing To Do With Dating....Car Question Posted: 5/15/2009 7:35:00 PM
If you are sure that the fuse and the bulb are fine, you should next check the wiring. if you have a continuity tester and know how to use it that is a good start. if not just take a look at the wiring around the casing for the bulb, if it is warn or damaged you may have found the problem. But your best bet is to try and test the wire's ability to hold a current with a continuity tester, which is one of several simple devices that you put on two ends of a circuit to see if current can pass through it; to avoid being sued I wont tell you how to make one, but I am sure you can find directions online, its a very simple device. Don't go messing around with your steering column unless you know what you are doing; you could mess up a lot more than your blinker. I have rewired entire cars before; trust me, if you don't know what you are doing find a friend who does before trying to take apart the electrical system of a car!

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Said he would call, hasn't Posted: 5/15/2009 7:26:23 PM
I believe that someone else said something similar so I'll keep it short... None of us can possibly know this guy any better than you do (Unless you are lucky enough to run into a friend of his online! LOL!) so the question should be less "What does that mean" and more "What does that mean I should do." The simple answer is that you should call him and ask for an explanation; or don't, but if you like him, call him and set up a new time to talk or meet up... Simple as that. If he starts avoiding YOUR calls, then it is probably safe to assume he is not interested.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

OK so guy asks for my number, how do I not blow it? Posted: 1/27/2009 4:03:49 PM
Here’s my opinion: This is a perfect example of how men and women think quite differently, and how most women try to convey personality value through actions, whereas men use words. This is not a debate about which approach is better, I’m just trying to point out to bassgirl747 why and how she should act in this case. If he is a nice guy, with good intentions and what most would consider a desirable person there is no harm in telling him that you would love to hear from him and your schedule is fairly open. By mixing your actions and words up to convey a message about yourself that is not necessarily true of your feelings you will cause a lot of “nice guys” to freak out, and you could sabotage yourself in so many ways I can’t even think of where to start; I have a lot of women tell me to call anytime, and it does not change my opinion of them one bit. Good luck.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Confused Posted: 12/11/2008 12:18:03 AM
You did not do anything wrong; something happened on his end and he is not interested any more. Let it go, move on.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

guys is this true???? Posted: 12/10/2008 1:51:18 AM
For guys with low self confidence; YES! There are probably a few "nice guys" that you may have scared away, they are afraid of rejection. But women love confidence, and those guys lack it. The simple and sad truth is that we guys are forced to ignore, abandon or hide our emotions to become the type of guy that women are attracted to; and complete jerks find this especially easy to accomplish. Plain and simple, yes you are going to scare some guys away, but after a short period of time you would have become bored, annoyed, or just plain scared off by them anyway.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

if he gave you his # 2 nights ago? Posted: 12/9/2008 8:53:19 PM
“dart_tater” put it VERY well: “If a guy gives you his number, he wants you to call it. It's really that simple! No how many days should i wait??? Its more like minutes! Us guys have a short attention span so if you wait more then three days odds oare we have forgotten about you and moved onto someone else. Preferrably someone who doesn't play games!” I agree! if you don’t like games, don’t play em’

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

About messaging... Posted: 12/9/2008 8:47:57 PM
Personally, if I am still interested I will always give a question at the end of my message, or a phone number. It’s simple to me, I either feel comfortable meeting someone, or I am done talking to them, if they are not interested any longer then they won’t call me or they won’t answer my question; plain and simple. Some people are not very open though, and they expect others to show interest before they will put any more effort into it than they have to. I’m sorry that you are done trying to read men’s minds; but you have 4 choices: 1) Find someone that will communicate with you better. 2) Put up with it and keep trying to communicate with the ones that won’t. 3) Try going out instead. 4) Give up.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

So what do I do now? Posted: 12/9/2008 8:39:31 PM
Um, ya, “player” hummmmmmm, so; “very traditional, well spoken, educated” I did not realize that you had to be a moron to be a player. I know that you can be a moron and a player, I have met a few; but just because you think he is a strait shooter does not mean you can tell if he would ever think of you as more than just a fling or friend with benefits. MOVE ON.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Am I right about this, guys? Posted: 12/9/2008 8:29:37 PM
What kind of signals? You are being too vague. If “signals” that you are getting are little more than looks then you are thinking too much into it. No offence but, bottom line, you expect him to put himself out; so why are you not willing to do the same if you like him? Or is it that you just like playing the game?

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

What am I doing wrong? Posted: 12/8/2008 5:45:40 PM
No, you are very young, and have learning to do. Nothing is wrong with you, just stay safe and have fun.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Am I unreasonable to want to do a background check? Posted: 12/8/2008 5:39:32 PM
EESH… tough question. If you honestly think there is a reason to do a background check I would not have told him, though that is honest of you to have told him that is why you wanted his last name, so good karma points to you! Though if a girl that I just met in person was already ringing alarms in my head to the point where I thought I needed a background check I would not get evolved any further. You’re a woman, I am a man, so there is some difference; as I feel comfortable that I could defend myself in 99.9% of situations I may encounter. Bottom line, if some girl TOLD ME she was doing a background check on me, I would worry she was crazy, and might be doing it out of paranoia, or trying to steal my identity. I would not want to be involved any more with the woman. But no, you are not over reacting; if you have a rule to yourself that you always do background checks, than go for it; just be more discrete next time.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

I call more than he does Posted: 12/4/2008 1:33:49 PM
Sounds like he likes you; a lot of guys (Myself included) don’t like to talk just to talk, unless we have not seen someone in a while.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Why type of guy is this / second chances? Posted: 12/3/2008 10:10:33 PM
As you say he was a “bad boy” most women love “bad boys” because they feel a connection with them; either they want to save them (“thought that maybe he needs someone to show him unconditional love since he has been so damaged with past relationships with the women in his life” a clue!), or something, I don’t know, I’m not female; all I do know is that you felt this connection, you liked it, and you want it again. He is a typical “bad boy” my suggestion, there are nice guys out there that could use your “love since [they have] been so damaged with past relationships with the [women] in [their lives]”. Find one that you have a connection with, and save him from becoming a "bad boy."

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

opinions needed please Posted: 12/3/2008 9:56:23 PM
He is probably a busy person; one way or another he has something to do this weekend, you two are clearly not exclusive; so just see what happens. I don’t think any of us really know if he is the type of guy that likes talkative women, so you really are the best critic to answer your own question. Do you think he was interested? If so, wait it out, date around in the mean time if you have the weekend free; if not, oh well, you still have to move on and date around. Either way I think the answer is that you should find another date for this weekend.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

rejects Posted: 12/3/2008 6:25:20 PM
Welcome to the world of free online dating; I agree with “Ron9” both sexes have the problem, and as far as I can tell it doesn’t change a whole lot with different age brackets either. I also agree with “Thunderstorms62” Change your selection process; you can even filter out a few by changing your “mail settings.” Good luck.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Should I make a move or not? Posted: 12/3/2008 6:11:58 PM
How much more Jerry Springer can you get? The answer is no, respect yourself, respect the other female in the situation, make him be the one to be the bad guy if that’s what you really want. The whole thing screams “Bad Karma!” if you ask me.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Guys - Is a Woman being Really Into You a Turn On or Turn Off? Posted: 12/3/2008 5:56:59 PM
That’s a good question, I would say it’s not normally a turn off until I start getting calls every time I am trying to relax alone or I am hanging out with friends; up to that point it’s a turn on.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

How do I get a long time female friend who is in a relationship to become my girl friend Posted: 12/3/2008 4:41:31 PM
Ya dude, just don’t try. You don’t even know for sure if you two could have a decent relationship, and if you don’t you WILL end up feeling like an ass when it does not work out. Move on, besides it’s a good thing to have a female friend to talk to; turn it into a good thing, go party with her and her boyfriend, they might introduce you to someone! If you are that perfect for each other than some day more might develop. But for now I really suggest you keep the friend and not ruin everything by trying to ruin something for her. Besides, if you look at it as ruining something she likes than that does make you a bad friend in the first place. Bad Karma man.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

I need help before I blow it. Posted: 12/3/2008 4:17:48 PM
Ok dude, you seem like you are a lot like I used to be. Here’s what you do, and I am honestly giving you the advice that changed my dating life so listen up. First, YOU are the problem; not women, not even the mean women. So make a conscious choice to realize that something about your ATTITUDE is probably making these women uncomfortable around you. Answer me this; do you feel comfortable when you are talking to a woman you are interested in? Do you feel like you have control of your emotions and that you could take or leave the situation without loosing anything more than the time you spent, but that you learned something? Do you feel like when you meet someone you are interested in that it might be the last chance you will have with someone like that? If you answer yes, than that’s your problem. Women DO NOT want someone that will provide for them without any self interest, they want someone that cares about themselves first; you can’t provide if you cant love yourself enough to stand up for yourself to be able to keep your job, or defend yourself, or haggle to buy a house for your potential family. Save the crazy proof that you are a nice guy for later. Women want a connection with someone; not just someone to take care of them. SO realize that you have to change and be more self concerned; ya show her a good time, but don’t freak out so much about her not wanting you. A woman will want you if you like yourself. Second, realize that there are whole crap load of fish in the sea, and you are young, you will meet a lot of them in your lifetime. So stop thinking of any ONE as the ONE right now. Sure, you might find the perfect woman tomorrow, but not if you are not willing to think harder about what you want and who YOU are. Women love confidence in yourself. I recommend that you go here: www.daviddeangelo.com The programs are a bit expensive but if you honestly feel like you can’t get a handle on your emotions, and you do not know what is wrong; and my advice does not help; than his programs will probably help. Good luck man, you’re on the right track by asking for advice.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

Too quick to comply? Posted: 12/3/2008 2:07:45 PM
To each their own; clingy can be good or bad, just decide if you like it or not. I’ll give you an example of bad though: If she starts getting jealous and hitting you when you go out with friends without letting her know, that’s bad. I like to know when someone is crazy about me like that , makes me feel secure; but as I have mentioned above there have been times for me when clingy women have turned into abusive women.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 59 (view)

rape in a relationship? Posted: 12/3/2008 1:57:50 PM
No means no; and frankly if it is forced in a relationship setting than someone has issues and should not be in the relationship.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Meeting Posted: 12/3/2008 1:47:00 PM
This will sound odd, but it is true of all of my experiences… You need to not be nervous! Go sit near the entrance and wait cool as a block of ice. Breathe slowly, rehearse what you will do/say when you meet; but look calm and controlled, or at least like you are already having a good time. In essence act like you are with good friends and “be yourself.” I have found that when I allow myself to get nervous it weakens the attraction.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Refriending the ex Posted: 12/3/2008 1:29:31 PM
I agree with Blueeyedbaldman, it sort of sounds like you still have some warm feelings for him, and feel some kind of connection because of the distancing language you are using. So you have to really ask yourself, are you hoping deep down that he might change one day and you want to keep him close in case because you know him and subsequently will not have to do as much work as you would getting to know someone new; or are you completely over him? In my opinion, if you push too hard for friendship too early; it shows interest to him and he will perceive it as such. The safe route is to just let it go.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Why do I only attract guys that want to hook up? Posted: 12/3/2008 2:51:04 AM
You seem to be trying to show a sexual nature in your photos, and I will agree with a lot of people in the forums by saying that a lot of guys on here are just looking to hook up; try to weed them out and move on. P.S. you can change your settings a bit so that certain types of people can’t message you. It’s under “Mail settings.” Good luck with your search.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 153 (view)

Women. Posted: 12/3/2008 2:38:34 AM
I agree, for the most part they are beautiful and sweet people even if just on the outside. Though I think sometimes they can be quite ugly on the inside as these lines by George Clooney’s character from O Brother, Where Art Thou? Point out: “Ulysses Everett McGill: Deceitful, two-faced she-woman. Never trust a female Delmar, remember that one simple precept and your time with me will not have been ill spent. Delmar O'Donnell: Ok, Everett. Ulysses Everett McGill: Hit by a train! Truth means nothing to a woman, Delmar. Trying for the subjective. You ever been with a woman? Delmar O'Donnell: Well, I... I... I gotta get the family farm back before I can start thinking about that. Ulysses Everett McGill: That's right, if then. Believe me Delmar, woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man.” -http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0190590/quotes P.S. Those lines from the movie are called “SATIRE” so please avoid taking this post the wrong way.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Advice please Posted: 12/3/2008 2:17:03 AM
No offence, but… You are all too young to expect much else, even if he is a nice guy he probably has no idea of what type of woman will make him really happy; are you sure of what will make you happy? Though if he is getting drunk at 20 years old and calling you, he probably has a case of low brain-to-blood ratio caused by erectile functions; said plainly, he is probably thinking with his penis. Not the best guy to be dating, or seeing for that matter. Move on, or don’t; we all have to learn the hard way with dating at some point, but if you don’t move on, make sure you learn from the mistake; and be safe. But my personal opinion is that we can expect to see you on the “broken hearts” forum soon if you don’t move on.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Worst thing you/someone else said after sex?? Posted: 12/3/2008 1:53:39 AM
"I'm sorry" It was funny, trust me.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 827 (view)

Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs? Posted: 12/3/2008 1:50:55 AM
I’m sure there are other ways you could make a guy happy, if you really care for each other you each will be able to compromise and explore your sexual needs and desires in other ways if that is an issue. Personally it would not bother me, actual intercourse simply “feels better” to me. Though several of my friends would not agree; I am sure you will find at least a few guys that will not take issue with the lack of oral sex. Try someone in the military! If I remember correctly from my time in the USAF oral sex (Or any type of unnatural intercourse. LOL!) Is prohibited by the UCMJ.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 63 (view)

How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head? Posted: 12/3/2008 1:36:39 AM
3 steps, 1. Beer + friends 2. Gym + work 3. Time + new love interests P.S. During step one it is important that you have friends that will not allow you to dial drunk!

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

why do men turn into douchbags when you say no Posted: 12/3/2008 1:16:22 AM
This is for several reasons, but I would say the biggest one is simple; a LOT (And I mean A LOT!!!) of women on here are looking for a hookup; and I say this because I have met a number of women from this site who once we were face to face, flat out asked for sex after only a few dates and got (in some cases) violent, when I told them I was not someone that would sleep with someone I just met. Other’s have told me before hand that this was what most of them were on this site for; so a lot of guys on here are very expecting of a quick “booty call.” So if it makes you feel any better, I have found it hard to get past the first few dates a lot of the time from free online sites like this one just because women would (Assumedly) perceive my apparent lack of sexuality as emotional weakness, instead of an attempt to stay healthy. Try a good paid site as well as this one (Though you will probably be matched with people a thousand miles away as most people are, hence the reason I am here.)

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

What does not on same level mean Posted: 12/3/2008 1:03:20 AM
Any time I have said that to a woman it has meant that I felt like I was either significantly less or more intelligent then they were. But I know guys that would say that for many other reasons; so this is just my vote.

myrealityis

Joined: 8/31/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

nice girl?? Posted: 12/3/2008 12:49:11 AM
From my experience, and the experiences of all my friends, dating generally happens like this: two people meet, and the woman (Consciously or subconsciously) tries to trick the man into giving up his personality by asking questions that will force him into emotional corners so that his ability to deal with the already stressful situation of meeting someone is compounded by the stress of personal questions. The man’s natural defense is to put up an emotional wall which shows depth of character and ability to deal with stress which generally grows into attraction toward the man. Half the time this leaves a problem, if the man is very good at putting these walls up it becomes very difficult for the woman to really tell if he is who he says he is; which eventually can cause heartbreak as more often than not one of them finds out something that they did not like about the other long after there is already a connection between the two of them. So I would ask first off, define “nice” as most would agree that the game that we play when dating is not nice, and nice ends up being quite relative to the situation; and second, personally I define a “nice girl” as most of the others on this thread have, simply a woman that won’t turn my family, friends, and self against her in the first few months. All relationships have arguments, or there is no healthy communication; it’s knowing when to argue, and knowing what not to say that counts, and especially not being manipulative (weather consciously or not.) at least in my opinion. Men usually say what they mean, or in some cases lie to get what they want; but women in my experience, almost always, manipulate to learn the “hidden nature” of a guy; most guys are looking for a girl that at least is pleasant to be with while she tries to find this “hidden nature.” I consider myself a “nice guy” but I will argue to my grave that most of the women I have come in contact with were not “nice” by my definition; though admittedly us guys (Myself included) can be just as mean at times when someone has: “a) hurt us, b) hurt someone we love, or c) just aggravate/annoy us.” Just as you said in your original question. If part of this angered you (Or someone else out there) that’s part of that “trying to find the hidden nature” that I talked about. So try to look past that, and read this reply without looking for a hidden meaning.

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