Acceptable to hate instantly, but unacceptable to love instantly. Why? chat & forums.

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Thread: Acceptable to hate instantly, but unacceptable to love instantly. Why?

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Acceptable to hate instantly, but unacceptable to love instantly. Why? Posted: 3/16/2009 8:01:24 PM
well i cant speak for others - but i dont judge instantly - if you dont know someone - how can you love or hate them? however instant attraction (or not) is something else - and thats just down to chemistry - so you have to trust your feelings and why should it be acceptable to hate - thats just not right

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 1123 (view)

Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 3/16/2009 7:56:27 PM
well i feel there arent many positive things said on this forum - and i may be a bit premature ............................... but YES there are some good men left - I met one yesterday and i am hooked - cant wait to see him again - it was my first 'meet' and it was the best day i spent in years - walk on the beach / chat over a drink / something to eat / etc etc etc so i say girls - there is hope for us all yet

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 82 (view)

1st date, to Kiss or Not to Kiss, Thats the Question Posted: 3/16/2009 7:44:56 PM
people feeling comfortable with each other just go naturally with the flow. well said buzz

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Til Death Do Us Part completely unreasonable? Posted: 3/4/2009 6:02:28 PM
no its not - if you really mean it at the time - i just came out of a 28 year marriage - i have no regrets - we didnt cheat on each other - we have 2 wonderful kids and a granddaughter - but we drifted apart - and although we still care about each other - we are not in love anymore - and we decided to separate and move on . I have great admiration for couples who really grow old together - but sometimes it doesnt work out. accept that and move on

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 430 (view)

Would you date someone who is separated? Posted: 3/4/2009 3:37:02 PM
well I live in ireland and its not quite so simple - to get a divorce here you have to have been living apart for 4 out of the 5 years previous to the date of application. We hadnt shared a room since 2004 and he moved out in may 07 - then because of finances - back in (spare room again of course) and out for good in July 08. We still talk cause we are raising our granddaughter but we will never get back together. So why pay money we cant afford for a separation till we can apply for a divorce as it is amicable at the moment. i had a brief relationship last year which didnt work out because of distance but i know i am most definitely 'emotionally divorced' and am ready to move on - a piece of paper is no guarantee for anything. As long as both parties are honest then there should be no problem - we all have baggage - and should I stay alone for 4/5 years just because of a piece of paper?

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 123 (view)

Instant Magic - anyone else find it? Posted: 2/26/2009 4:26:20 PM
well i was instantly attracted to my husband when we first met - and we separted 29 years later - 25 of which were good - then we drifted apart - so you know - nothing in this life is guaranteed.

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

went on a date - need some advice on follow up Posted: 2/12/2009 8:17:23 AM
hey guys and girls, thanks heaps for the advice... however, this fish isnt ready to be thrown back into the sea just yet. she just messaged me on msn, turns out she became sick shortly after the date (not related to the date). She's on the mend now, incase you were wondering. so we'll see how it goes from here nice to hear good news for a change ... wishing you luck!

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Flowers: Requirement? Luxury? What's the standard? Posted: 2/12/2009 8:05:43 AM
I'm not saying I dont like getting flowers - but I wouldnt expect them in a relationship. However - the times I have really enjoyed receiving flowers were as a thank you from friends - and sometimes strangers - that I have helped out along the way - even though I didnt think I was doing anything other than what a normal caring person would do - but its nice to be appreciated. and also - my mum loves flowers - so I send her some every 2 months cause she lives far away - they can make people happy too.

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

What is the best way to handle it if a date passes gas? Posted: 2/12/2009 7:57:39 AM
well maybe he should have said sorry - but I would probably have said some funny comment and laughed too!

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

How do you get an ex to leave you alone??? Posted: 2/12/2009 7:54:23 AM
yeah - this could possibly escalate into violence - she needs to stop him now before its too late!

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Flowers: Requirement? Luxury? What's the standard? Posted: 2/12/2009 4:05:34 AM
no - i do know of friends who still get flowers on birthdays etc - but some guys just arent like that - my ex wasnt that romantic or tactile and I accepted him that way - its probably more an individual thing. And if flowers /gifts etc are your thing - then please let the poor guy know because he may not be phsycic! lol

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Only In The Movies ? Posted: 2/12/2009 3:10:39 AM
Yes - only in the movies!

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Flowers: Requirement? Luxury? What's the standard? Posted: 2/12/2009 3:08:57 AM
Well ...... I was married for over 27 years and i only remember getting flowers in the early days on special occasions - birthday / anniversary etc and I only ever once got red roses when my first child was born. Personnally I think flowers / chocolates are overrated - time spent with someone is much more important and I rather have a good hug over gifts anyday. If a guy was buying me something id prefer something small which was important to me - like an owl for my collection and even a book I wanted. But thats just me x

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 119 (view)

Do you feel comfortable dating someone who is seperated Posted: 1/25/2009 5:54:22 PM
well - i was on sick leave with a bad back (May 07) - and i got up to find my husband carrying boxes out the back door - i asked what he was doing and he said he was moving out! As it happens - he moved back in a few weeks later due to finances (spare room of course) and actually moved out in June 08. We have no plans to divorce at the moment. I would most definitely not have him back. So what is the difference between a couple who live together for 15 or more years and split up - and a couple who are married for 15 or more years and separate? As long as you are honest with new people you meet then that should be fine. relationships can go wrong anyway - nothing to to with the separated/divorced issue. I am still on friendly terms with my ex - we just stopped loving each other and now want to move on.

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Has something changed, have we lost the ability to put in hard work into a relationship? Posted: 1/22/2009 5:10:47 PM
well I have to admit - I am separated now after a marriage of 27 years - no third party involved - did we just drift apart - or did we just stop trying - who knows - but I have learned that you really have to always work at any relationship - and these days its not that people are splitting up after a short time cause of not trying - its because marriage is not taken seriously and rushed into! just my thoughts Wombat x

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

Double dipping...is this really OK? Posted: 1/20/2009 4:34:49 PM
well if i had never tasted what my date was eating - i would ask him if i could have a small bit - i would never just take something off someone elses plate!

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 80 (view)

Appropriate behaviour before & during a date Posted: 1/20/2009 4:19:16 PM
When a man is so immature, that he must tell you about his little head before you even meet him deserves to be stood up. That's why he texted you again the next morning, because his woody was standing on its head. Don't give up on dating, just rude and immature guys. ditto!

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

About the Friendship First Posted: 1/19/2009 5:02:16 PM
well i havent gone on a date yet or met anyone from this site - but I do have to say - in this day and age a woman should pay her way - if she doesnt even offer and gives in to the guys refusal - she is using you - thats what i think - move on and learn from this experience! and remember - dont let it put you off - not all woman are like that!

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 105 (view)

Dirty talk...... Posted: 1/18/2009 6:08:44 PM
havent done it - but it sounds interesting!

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 154 (view)

Hug or a Hand Shake? Posted: 1/15/2009 2:09:13 PM
Hug definitely - I'm a big fan of hugs!!!

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 85 (view)

Would you actually fill one out? Posted: 1/15/2009 2:05:36 PM
that is soooo weird!

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

Body Shapers, Pushup Bras, Tummy Tammers - Lying or looking good? Posted: 1/15/2009 1:42:15 PM
I once bought a pair of control pants to flatten my tummy - and when i put it on all i got was a spare tyre - believe me - you push it in one place - its gonna come out somewhere else! Now - I'm almost comfortable with my body after losing 2 stone and ive still got my 'baby' tummy - but hey - it's who I am!

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 68 (view)

Whats the #1 reason that you bother dating at all? Posted: 1/15/2009 7:18:40 AM
companionship ....... hugs ............. more hugs lol

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 663 (view)

Why do Babes dig ugly guys? Posted: 1/15/2009 7:16:48 AM
I think only babes have the answer to that one!

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 169 (view)

Should a woman buy a man a drink on the first date? Posted: 1/15/2009 7:12:31 AM
yes - i think so - i would even expect to pay my share of dinner too - but I would be a bit put off by him suggesting it before i had the chance to offer Wombat

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

Can Physical Attraction Grow? Posted: 1/15/2009 7:09:18 AM
I really dont know - I've been separated for about 15 months after a 29 year relationship - I was instantly attracted the first time I saw him - then last August I was home for a visit - not looking for romance or anything - didnt think I was ready - when I was in a bar and this guy smiled at me - well - I smiled back an we ended up in a casino talking to 6am - we have met a few times here and back home but like someone said earlier - we never see each other cause we live too far apart - its sad cause i was in the zone where I really thought I would never have another relationship and well - it has given me some confidence but I really dont see it happening again - but who knows? We still chat on the phone but realise a relationship wont work. Now after writing this I see that I do expect to be instantly attracted - but for me it would be a genuine smile - I think thats a good start! sorry for rambling Wombat

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

Forum usage effecting your dating? Posted: 1/12/2009 2:04:41 PM
don't know - have only exchanged a few mails so far - but its interesting to read the views of others

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 131 (view)

Giving or Asking for soneone's phone number... Posted: 1/12/2009 12:41:56 PM
why dont you use Skype - you can talk skype to skype to anyone in the world for free - and you dont have to give out personal info - just your user name - its very good for starting off with and you can block anyone you have given your user name to if need be its free to anyone to download.

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 299 (view)

Do men realy think that blonds are more attractive? Posted: 1/5/2009 11:20:09 AM
when i was younger i preferred dark haired men .. but now a genuine smile wins every time

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 406 (view)

Whats the Best Accent you've hear that you love... and why Posted: 1/5/2009 11:00:21 AM
got to be scottish ........... I still chat on the phone to the last guy I dated ........ couldnt work cause i live in ireland ........ when I call him and he says 'Hi' ......... I still melt

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 110 (view)

Does anyone else here pay attention to the backgrounds of the profile pics? Posted: 1/5/2009 10:56:16 AM
wel i havent before .... but I sure will now lol

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you? Posted: 1/5/2009 9:34:19 AM
I would say so - I think its something only a few of us ever find so you may as well seek the Holy Grail. and I say this as someone who married their first love at 21 and although he was my best friend, lover, partner, for nearly 30 years - the word 'soulmate' never arose. we finally split 6 months ago after a year of will we / wont we. so who knows.......

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

No Concrete Plans for Second Date...? Posted: 1/5/2009 9:24:09 AM
if you suggest a nuetral place to meet that costs little and he still doesnt make a date - I think you have to ask him whats stopping him - he may be a little insecure because of his circumstances but if you assure him that it doesnt matter to you then maybe he will come around

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Language Barrier Posted: 1/5/2009 9:12:00 AM
as a scottish gal who moved to ireland 14 years ago - i found that some people here couldnt understand me because i spoke too fast - so i had to make an effort to speak slowly at times - sometimes we all have to adapt

wombat59

Joined: 9/3/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Opinion needed!!! Posted: 1/5/2009 9:05:34 AM
yeah I would trust your instinct pet and tell him you are not ready for a meet - you've got nothing to lose by waiting a while

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