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aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 201 (view)

women with a lot of male friends Posted: 10/2/2009 10:00:37 PM
At least you might end up in the friend zone, and not kicked to the curb altogether!

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 139 (view)

Birth Control Pills...PLEASE NEED PEOPLE OPINIONS Posted: 10/2/2009 8:25:14 PM
Unlikely story, but if it is true it's just one more reason to believe that birth control pills are not an effective and reliable enough form of birth control to be trusted by the masses. Why hasn't she gotten tubal ligation yet? I'm gonna be first in line on my 32nd birthday! (The age that they stop giving you a hard time if you want the procedure done, but have had no children.)

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 48 (view)

how to let him down easy Posted: 10/2/2009 8:17:41 PM
oh, I just read the update. Good job. Nice and snappy.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

how to let him down easy Posted: 10/2/2009 8:15:14 PM
OK, I've got it! Why don't you wait until you've already got a replacement for him to take over his half of the rent with no awkward financial difficulty transition phase. Then introduce the new guy, and say he's moving in, but...awww...there will be no room for all three of you! OK, obviously kidding. I don't think there is any way to make it easy for him, but I'm sure that you can think of something a little less hurtful then the before-mentioned scenario. Better say something, don't delay.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 117 (view)

How did you lose your first love? Posted: 10/2/2009 8:05:11 PM
He came out of the closet...wearing rainbow earrings. Yikes.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting married Posted: 10/2/2009 5:56:15 PM
I agree with Daynadaze. I just turned 30, and I've already seen a lot of my friends get married and divorced and then do the single parenting thing. They struggle in court over child support and about if and when he'll ever take time to spend with his kids. And then there is trying to work out a good relationship with the ex's new wife who they have to see when they drop the kids off....Seriously, be thankful for what you have! Hopefully if you wait, you'll be able to it right the first time! In the meantime, you still have your freedom to go out and enjoy your youth!

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 105 (view)

Agree or Disagree: If a person has a good personality you can make yourself sexually attracted Posted: 10/2/2009 5:47:08 PM
I think that perhaps this could work if the person's personality includes provacativeness. If I am not really that interested sexually, I am looking to be persuaded, not be the pursuer.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Dating the same person Posted: 10/2/2009 5:37:22 PM
Let me guess...small town?

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

In a relationship, Hanging out with Opposite sex friends makes SO feel uncomfortable Posted: 7/29/2009 6:10:53 PM
There's no reason you have to ditch your opposite sex friends. What is the problem with hanging out with them in groups?! Big deal. It's not like it's that big of a sacrifice if it would make your SO more at ease. It's just a matter of respect! Most of my friends are guys. When I'm in a relationship, I make it a point to introduce my SO to everyone. I also invite the guys to the house in groups to hang out with me and my SO. Simply out of respect, I tend not to hang out 1 on 1 with my guy friends when I'm in a relationship, unless I mention it to my SO first and I am absolutley certain that he feels comfortable with it. No reason to put unnecessary stress on a good relationship. It's a natural concern for a SO to have! When approached in this way, most of my SO have been very comfortable with my guy friends.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 82 (view)

there will always be the insulted b!t*hes Posted: 7/10/2009 8:06:12 PM
Wow. I can't belive all of the pure hate being spewed around on both sides of this issue. Now, you see what happens when religion enters stage right? Wow. I was uncomfortable just reading the word whore tossed around so many times. Pure Hate....that's all I gotta say....glad I'm agnostic....

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Good Girl? Posted: 7/10/2009 7:19:35 PM
x-file, your perfect girl sounds like the inflatable type. Why didn't you just write, "A girl with no opinions who never opens her mouth unless it is to make me feel better about myself."? Oh, and who genuinely likes sex.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 55 (view)

What Women Want: The Measure of a Male Partner Posted: 7/10/2009 6:59:55 PM
Most of these are important to me with a few sticking out as being less important to me: Doesn't have to have carpentry skills or know how to fix a car because I already do those things myself. If he does, then great, we can do it together, but not a must. Doesn't have to know how to cook, but if he doesn't know how, he has to be willing to eat mostly microwave dinners...cause I don't know how either! Willingness to learn WITH me is pretty important...Maybe we could take a class or something...lol. Faith is less important to me because I am agnostic, however the part about striving to always better yourself and be someone who others look up to is very important to me. Being good with kids would be nice, but is not a must because I won't be having any. Although, someone who would trip a kid just to see 'em cry is a definite NO! A little discomfort around kids is acceptable to me, because I feel the same way. That's one of the many, many reasons I'm not havin' 'em! Other than that, GREAT LIST! You've got a lot of good ones on there. I would just also add: Sense of Humor!! Can't get through life without that!!

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 143 (view)

Are women who don't need men likely to ever find one and be happy? Posted: 7/10/2009 6:26:17 PM
They say that you can only truly find love when you are happy with your life, and happy with yourself. I feel happy with my life. I think if I were to feel that I had some big gaping void, I would be more likely to be desperate. That would make me more likley to latch on to a guy that wasn't good for me or contributing to the relationship in a positve way, just so as not to be alone. A woman who is happy is looking for someone who truly compliments her well. She is able to give in the relationship as well as receive. Wouldn't a man want someone who has more of herself to give?

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Is it natural for humans to be monogamous? Posted: 7/10/2009 5:13:26 AM
All I know is that I have never had the inclination to stray when I was in a committed relationship.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 76 (view)

Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men? Posted: 7/8/2009 5:30:05 PM
Just one more reason why the single life is so great...one less slob to pick up after....

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

What's the deal with thank you? Posted: 7/8/2009 5:18:17 PM
An ipod on a first date, are you nuts? I would think, "Is he trying to impress me with his money? How arrogant. Is he trying to buy my affections?" That's what I thought when I got a cell phone on a first date. It creeped me out and turned me off. EDIT: However, I still said thank you.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 89 (view)

How long did it take you to stop looking at profiles/message ppl and just go forums? Posted: 7/8/2009 5:04:40 PM
I had been on POF for a couple of months before I discovered the forums, but since then I've been hooked! My focus wanes back and forth between mail and forums depending on if I'm feeling like looking or not. Right now, I'm not particularly in the mood for all of that dating rubbish, but I still hop on here every day to check out the forums. I'll jump back in the sea again one of these days... Still have a few friends I've met here that I still e-mail occassionally though; some of 'em I've met right here in the forums.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 74 (view)

So....are we talking... Posted: 7/8/2009 4:51:11 PM
LOL emlamNsea! Mail Order Bride!! I was thinking the same thing!...Yup...geesh, typical mail order bride...

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 56 (view)

Marriage vs LTR Posted: 7/8/2009 4:43:39 PM
This is a complex question. I'm reading a book on this topic that I'd like to suggest to you: "Unmarried to Each Other", by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller. It covers many of the reasons that people typically choose to get married or not including: finances, personal and public opinions, kids, religion, legal matters including health insurance, changing role statuses within the relationship... It also discusses possible alternate commitment celebrations for people who decide that marriage is not the right option for them. Very interesting! I hope you will check it out. It might aid in some good discussions between you and you SO.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

Settling for somebody your own age? Posted: 7/8/2009 4:34:05 PM
Just make sure that if you are going to date a man who is 20 years older, that he either has no kids, or they are young enough to be your kids. Other than that, I don't see any hang-ups.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 354 (view)

He brought his Fanny with him... Posted: 7/8/2009 3:49:11 PM
FANNY PACK!!! AAAAHHHH!!! LOL!! WOW!! LOL!! I am pretty open minded, but fanny pack!!?? I hear ya, man! (Was that better than "sister"? ...kidding!...)

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 55 (view)

What lessons have you learned from online dating? Posted: 7/8/2009 3:40:23 PM
1) I've learned that there are a lot of good people in the world, but not many who are a good match for me! 2) The sea is big. There are many fishies. 3) It's not so bad being single after all. 4) Who needs a man when I have the forums, my cup of coffee, my laptop, and a my cat?

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

Women's Favorite/Least Favorite Conversation Topics Posted: 7/8/2009 2:09:32 PM
Some of my favorite things to talk about are politics and religion. I bet if I looked those would also be under the list given to the women on this site of things not to talk to a man about. Traditionally, they are supposed to be kind of a forbidden topic in public situations because they can sometimes cause a lot of tension in the discussion. I think it is really important to just get all of that out on the table early on though. I wouldn't want to spend a lot of time dating someone whose values were too extrememly different from my own that a long lasting relationship would be impossible. What can't I stand? Hearing about all the ex's!!! Save it for your therapist!! On a first date even?! Please guys, don't date again until those other girls are a little further from your mind!! BORING and SELFISH!! That's hardly a way to make a girl feel special is by talking about all the ones that got away! ...And it doesn't say much about your prowess in long term relationships either! I can't figure out why on earth anyone would think that a date would want to hear all the gory details of past relationships! Oh, and the next time someone asks me what my favorite position is, I am going to throw my computer across the room!

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

omg, spicy soup Posted: 7/2/2009 8:06:43 PM
Any guy of mine must be able to handle spicy soup! It's ok if your eyes water or you make funny expressions or break out into a sweat, as long as you eat it and like it. I once broke it off with a guy soley because he had irritable bowel syndrome. I wasn't willing to suffer through a life of bland at home cooking with him!

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Eyes Wide Shut: quite possibly the most misunderstood movie of all-time? Posted: 7/1/2009 10:42:31 PM
Would you care to enlighten me? I almost walked out of the theatre on that one. Still, I'm open minded....what's on your mind, man?

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

What Happened? Posted: 7/1/2009 10:13:27 PM
Daynadaze, thanks as always for that reality check! lol! Robert, what a kind soul you are! I thank you for your input too! OP, friends with benefits sucks. You did the right thing! I have to wonder though, which lasted longer: your entire relationship with this girl, or your opening post?! (Comment in the spirit of jest...I wish you the best OP! My best to this girl too: Hope she'll be fine.)

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Should men pay half of the expense of women's birth control? Posted: 7/1/2009 9:26:22 PM
In response to Touchdown Bundy, no. I wouldn't want any input. I wouldn't even want to discuss a pregnancy. All I would have to know when we start dating is that we both agreed we never wanted kids. Okay, that was easy. End of story, next subject. Luckily, or because of my smart use of BC, I haven't yet encountered such a problem. To add to my last post: while you are responsible for birth control, I hope you had him pay for his own STD screening before you guys started having unprotected sex! Also, I would definately not be comfortable with condoms being the only form of BC being used. It's fine as a back-up method, but a condom's effectiveness is only about 85% when technical difficulty is taken into account. I wouldn't even trust the pill because that too loses effectiveness if not taken at exactly the same time every day. I found that it was too easy to forget a pill. I use Depo-Provera. It's a shot given every 3 months. 99.999% effective. No mood swings. No periods even! It's a dream come true. OP, also, if you're having trouble paying for your BC, Planned Parenthood has a sliding scale fee. If you are very low income at this particular moment, they may only require a voluntary donation when you can afford it.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Should men pay half of the expense of women's birth control? Posted: 7/1/2009 9:08:42 PM
Only if you want him to have a say in what should be done should you become pregnant. I wouldn't want a guy to have anything to do with any of that. He should have to pay for his own STD screening though, if you guys are having unprotected sex!

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

i hate mixed messages Posted: 7/1/2009 8:56:04 PM
So what? She has a life. She's busy. Get a hobby other than her. Here's some advice from someone who hates listening to her messages: One phone call is enough until you hear from her again! Once I see that I have friggin' 25 messages piled up in my inbox, I just take a want to throw my phone off a bridge and not look back. Especially if all the messages are from the same person! Chill, man.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

What Would You Do? Posted: 7/1/2009 8:36:35 PM
Hi some woman! Good to see ya! True, Silken Fire was eloquent, but I tend to lean a little more toward Janalta...not everyone who is recently divorced is an emotional disaster. Her previous relationship could have been dead long before the divorce papers ever made it to the table. As someone else said earlier, I believe you should always "strike while the iron is hot!"...Or as I like to say, "Seize the day!".

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 148 (view)

Is it racism when.... Posted: 7/1/2009 8:03:31 PM
Is it really necessary to put that on your profile? C'mon! lol! Oh yeah, way to let them down easy! How very chivalrous of you! Geesh! Some things are better kept to yourself out of politeness not just political correctness. Can't believe you didn't see that coming! You may not be color blind, but you certainly are blind!

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Is it cold feet? Posted: 7/1/2009 7:53:26 PM
Are there logical reasons? Like perhaps he's strapped for cash, and dating is getting too expensive? Or perhaps he is just longing to get a little more domestic with you? Could you compromise by spending half the week at each others' houses or something? I suppose you will never know if he never gives you any responses that are more detailed than, "I don't know"....and if that's the case, ditch him! Who wants to compromise with a non-communacative rock?!

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Is it cold feet? Posted: 7/1/2009 7:36:14 PM
Is he one of those people from the other thread who is too busy with work and kids to date? Just wondering... Is he strapped for cash and dating is getting expensive? ...Are there logical reasons? Could you compromise by spending the night at each others houses throughout the week, or 3 days a week....whatever might work?

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time? Posted: 7/1/2009 7:28:08 PM
Sure. I always love two people at the same time: myself and the guy I'm with!

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 50 (view)

Too Busy With Work and Kids To Date.... Posted: 7/1/2009 7:10:20 PM
I don't even have time to date with no children and no steady job at the moment, so I can just IMAGINE....whoa.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

is it ok to continue a relationship when i know i don't love? Posted: 7/1/2009 11:32:48 AM
Personally, I think that the "goosebump, special feeling" thing is a load of crap! Perhaps I'm just jaded, but I tend to reason out my relationships a little more logically. Make a pros and cons list of why the two of you would or wouldn't be a good long term fit together. Do you honestly think that people who have been married for 50 years get all goose-bumpy every time their mate walks into the room? That stuff is for Disney movies! Give the relationship a chance, and stop looking for a fairytale!

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

just wondering Posted: 6/30/2009 11:48:42 PM
Boing! Boing! Boing! I'm bouncing off the walls!!

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 73 (view)

Man/Woman with too high standards or too much expectation Posted: 6/30/2009 11:18:54 PM
okay, hang on...check, ok, check yup, check.. and yup, check! Hey, I qualify!! Come whisk me away!

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

Hey do ya personally know any happily married people in real life? Posted: 6/30/2009 10:22:51 PM
I'm with you, OP, I'm a skeptic. I just want to be happily unmarried to someone. Perhaps there could be a commitment ceremony, one that could be renewed, say, every 3-5 years or so...like an insurance policy. lol. If when it's time to renew, you are not satisfied with your current coverage, or rates....

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 208 (view)

smell plays a big part......!!! Posted: 6/30/2009 9:48:41 PM
I saw a show on this subject recently on NBC or CBS...like many of you have posted earlier, it said there had been studies which show that we are attracted to people's scents who are different from us genetically which is supposed to give us a better chance of having healthy offspring. However, the show went on to talk about another study which showed that birth control skews a woman's natural ability to do this. While on BC, women gravitate toward men with similar genetic make-ups, who would be more likely to produce un-healthy offspring with them. Even more troubling to me though...how has this effected modern dating? I would wager a bet that most young women who are dating are on some form of hormonal BC. So, we find the love of our lives, who we are intensely attracted to....perhaps marry....when it comes time to have children, we go off our BC, and suddenly find that we are no longer attracted to our mates! Could this have anything to do with the recent dramatic rise in divorce rates? I found this tidbit of information very stunning and troubling!! When I told a grey haired nurse at Planned Parenthood this, she just shook her head and said that she was glad she didn't have to worry about that anymore! lol.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 122 (view)

Long vs short hair Posted: 6/30/2009 12:05:16 AM
I just had a thought. Can you imagine that's possible? After all, I AM blonde! lol. Wow! So much discussion on this topic! I had no idea hair could be a heated topic! So, as I was thinking...Could it be possible that women with short hair prescibe to a more open-minded view of what beauty is? That would explain why they might be more likely to e-mail an ugly bald guy. ?? lol.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

artistic creativity and compatibility Posted: 6/29/2009 11:21:31 PM
I am an artist myself, but I can't find any male artists who aren't gay or too into partying, otherwise I would date one!

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

Do you prefer hints or just to be told straight up? Posted: 6/19/2009 10:29:41 PM
I like my truth the same way I like my sex and liquor. Give it to me straight.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women Posted: 6/19/2009 10:20:55 PM
Is it possible he really is just looking for friends? Personally, I think it is because I was on here for a while doing that. People do do that! Search it, there's been forums on it. There's another one going on right now about whether men and women truly can just be friends. My bet: he's just bored... Like I am right now. That's why I'm here posting. If it really bothers you, ask him to change his status to Not Single/Not Looking. I bet he would. But, for the sake of the relationship, I wouldn't ask him to leave this site. (Please also reference the forum on POF ADDICTIONS.) This is serious! Some people just can't go cold turkey on this thing!! ...Myself included!

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 92 (view)

can men be trusted Posted: 6/19/2009 9:55:07 PM
I whole-heartedly believe that men and women can just be friends. In fact, I won't date anyone who believes otherwise because most of my friends are men. However, it's not uncommon for a partner to feel insecure about your opposite sex friends. Why don't you try introducing your friend to your husband? Or only hang out with him in groups, perhaps invite your husband along for these outings? Or have your friend over to your home for barbeques with you and your husband? I would think this would make your husband feel better about things. Also, it's a good test to make sure that your friend doesn't have alterior motives.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 108 (view)

How important is chivalry in an relationship to you? Posted: 6/19/2009 9:34:28 PM
I've felt both ways about it. When I was very young, I used to get vehemently angry when a man would try to help me with anything because I thought he was only offering his help because I was a woman and he thought I couldn't do it. To be fair though, I was offended when a woman offered help too. Too proud and independent for my own good! For years I tried to save the world and everyone in it single handedly. I would take in very needy men and work tirelessly to nurse them back to health and boost their self esteem, and clean their apartments and cook for them, laundry.... most of the time getting no real moral support, or even commitment in return. That seriously got old! There wasn't an ounce of chivalry in any of those guys! lol I have to say, I am now very pleasantly surprised and even grateful when someone, especially a man shows any traditional "chivalrous" behavior. It's a nice gesture. I'm like, my God, SOMEONE ( other than me) is thinking of someone other than themselves! Well, aren't I the lucky one! I now say thank you with the same sincerity that I used to use to scorn anyone offering a helpful hand. Thanks all you chivarous men and women out there!

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 51 (view)

Single signs Posted: 6/12/2009 7:08:16 PM
Oh My God!! I am going to make myself one of those "I'm No Longer With Stupid " T-shirts! It's the perfect idea for me because I am commonly spotted hanging out with the ex! Hope he won't mind!

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Love ya! oops! Posted: 6/12/2009 4:14:17 PM
Have you ever accidentally told someone you love them too soon? Surely this is kind of thing that only happens to me! lol I believe I just brought what seemed like a nice budding relationship to a sudden, jarring halt with this all too frequently used phrase. Whoops! lol. See, it just slips off my tongue without prior thought. I use it in the context of, "Love ya, man!" Or, "Love ya dude!" I say it freqently instead of good bye to all of my extended family, friends: male and female...( Love Ya! See you soon!!)... I even been known to say it to particularly funny aquaintances such as the cashier at my local convenient store. ("I LOVE you!! YOU are HILARIOUS!") I fear that this time it may have been misconstrued, though, and scared away a nice potential partner, who apparently has a deep seeded fear of commitment! Whoops! LMAO!! Am I the only one who has ever done this?! (Probably.)

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 68 (view)

An interesting phenomenon, for me at least Posted: 5/28/2009 5:37:22 AM
I think people are born that way.

aliveone1

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

Would you date a man with a Vasectomy? Posted: 5/28/2009 5:29:54 AM
I don't want kids, so a vesectomy would be a positive attribute. However, a lot of women want kids, and it would definately be an important issue in the relationship. I think that it is definately something that should be discussed early in the relationship so that you don't waste years of some poor girl's youth dating you!

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