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LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

Oprah's trip to the Bunny Ranch Posted: 8/30/2009 10:13:19 PM
Heh. I saw that show, and you're right, the blond was hot. She did seem to have a good head on her shoulders. This is a tough one for me as a woman. Legalizing it might help get rid of the amount of abuse many prostitutes suffer at the hands of pimps, johns (including the cops sometimes), but it will never get rid of the "bad side" of it completely because underage prostitution will always exist unfortunately. And therefore, carry more risk of STDs since this type of prostitution must stay illegal for obvious reasons. Testing is better then nothing, but I wish more brothels insisted on condom use. I know individual girls can but many still don't because johns over to pay them more, the girls don't make them use one. Personally, if I ran a brothel (legal or illegal) condoms would be mandatory for my girls. If a john had a problem with it, he'd no longer be welcome at my establishment. I don't want anyone to catch anything, from anybody. I just with that if they keep it illegal, they'd start arresting more pimps and johns. They are the problem, because they create the demand, not the girls. Arresting the girls is a waste of taxpayer time and money and completely unfair when the johns get off, or don't even get arrested. Or they are high profile and protected. That's such bullsh*t. Such a double standard. Sorry, this topic is a touchy one for me. I've been wondering about the possible advantages of legalizing it myself for years.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 63 (view)

Is This Too Kinky For You? Posted: 8/30/2009 10:02:41 PM
Role playing can be a lot of fun, but if there are certain role play situations you're just not into, that is perfectly ok. It was wrong of her to give you grief about it. Certain sexual scenarios are only going to work if both people involved enjoy it. She has to respect your boundaries. If she can't, then maybe she's not the one for you. Sex is all about boundaries. If you enjoyed some role playing with her, make that clear to her, but make sure you also make clear the role playing boundaries you won't cross. Tell her it has nothing to do with being "closed minded". You're just not comfortable with certain things and have no desire to participate in them, and that's your right. After all, you'd never try to force anything sexually on her that she didn't like, so remind her to show you the same respect. A good, healthy sex life, is not just about mutual sexual interests. It's also about boundaries, and mutual respect of those boundaries and of each other.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Woman's sex drive Posted: 8/30/2009 9:50:25 PM
I have a fairly high sex drive for a woman, and most of the men I've dated haven't had a problem with it. Except for my first ex. After awhile he even told me he felt I was just using him for sex and wanting nothing more with him. That wasn't the case at all. I was crazy about him at the time, but he lived so far away, we only saw each other once a week or every two weeks, so by the time I'd see him, I did want to jump him. It's a shame really. I think that was the beginning of the end for us. I eventually realized his sex drive just wasn't as high as mine, and we weren't as compatible in that area. However, I can put brakes on the sex drive when I need to. I have better control over my hormones these days then I used to. Mostly, because its not all about just sex for me anymore. I want more than just that with someone. Sex too soon is one of the best ways to sabotage a relationship early on. So I don't mind waiting. (helps me learn to be more patient too)

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

have a sex problem Posted: 8/30/2009 9:45:24 PM
It's great that you have things in common, but being compatible in the bedroom is also nice. Not everyone likes the same things sexually (that's a hard lesson I've had to learn myself). It really depends on how important "new" or "different" sexual things are to you. Why don't you just have an open, honest conversation with her about it. Tell her you like her a lot, and you don't just want sex from her. You are interested in more then just that, but you also like to explore other things sexually. Maybe tell her that you'll back off on the sex for awhile, to prove to her how much you truly like her, letting that part grow, and tell her when she's ready, you can resume the sex again and see if she's up for more then just the missionary style. Tell her you want to explore other things with her sexually, not just for you, but also because you think she might enjoy certain things, and you want to please her too. I know this type of conversation is hard. It can be a deal breaker for some, if you're sexual needs are too different from each other. Be patient and give that part time to grow. The minute she starts feeling any kind of sexual pressure from you, she'll start to resent it and lose interest. That's what happens to me. I'm a pretty open minded person sexually, but if a guy gives me a guilt trip about not wanting to try certain things, etc, that is one of the fastest ways for him to ensure that I lose interest in having sex with him. I am willing to try a lot of things, but only if we both want to try them together. Remembers, sex is also about trust for women. If she doesn't trust you yet, she may not be ready to try certain sexual things yet. Just give her time, space, patience, and also non-sexual affection. She'll appreciate that and maybe loosen up a bit over time. For some women, they really do just need time, and lots of it sometimes. Good luck!

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

Do women think about sex as much as men? Posted: 8/30/2009 9:36:38 PM
God yes. Especially when I'm single and it's been awhile since I've "gotten any". Then it literally can get to the point where my brain is ready to explode, if I find myself fantasizing about someone too much. Thank god for masturbation. Keeps me going during long dry spells. I can go a long time without it if I have too. Doesn't mean I want to. Women have very vivid sexual imaginations. I think some women just keep more of their thoughts to themselves. But trust me, they are there, and there quite often. Probably much more then men realize.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 138 (view)

What would you guys do? Posted: 8/30/2009 9:30:29 PM
I think most men still fail to realize how psychological weight is for women (which is also why we are so sensitive about it) Some men also seem to forget that most women who gain weight, are not oblivious to it. We're not blind. We see ourselves in the mirror every day. If we gain even a pound, we know it. We're just hoping you don't, and hoping you truly love us for us, and not our waist measurements. Also, if we care about someone, and the relationship has become "comfortable", sometimes it is easy to let yourself go a bit because you assume that the person you're with, will continue to love you, even if you gain a few pounds. Now, if you become morbidly obese, that might be a problem, but if she's only gained a bit of weight, that's a pretty stupid reason to dump her over. You can still be "proud" of her as your partner no matter what she weighs. I realize looks are more important to guys and they like us to be in shape if possible, but if its that important to you, then maybe you're doing her a favor by breaking it off. That way she can find someone who truly digs her for her, and isn't secretly constantly monitoring everything she eats or how many pounds she's gained. Think about it. If you were the one gaining weight instead of her, would you be ok with her secretly judging you that way, and just biding time till your weight made her break up with you? That would kind of suck. One of the worst things you can do, is to confront her about it, or make her feel bad about it, or rag on her about what she eats. If you want this relationship, but truly need her to lose weight to stay in, be supportive and make suggestions. Ask her to go for walks with you. That way, she doesn't have to deal with exercises she doesn't care for and can just enjoy spending time with you while walking. Maybe offer to cook for her sometimes, and cook something healthy. Or eat out less often, or if you do, by healthier food out to bring back home. Stay positive about it. The minute you become negative about her weight, she will start to resent it, internalize it and eat more, and gain more. Women eat emotionally. When we're upset or stressed, we eat sometimes. Tell her you want both of you to get, and stay healthy so that you can have a nice long life together. If you truly love her, you have to love all of her, not just her numbers on a scale.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 48 (view)

Do lifetime relationships work anymore? Posted: 8/30/2009 9:15:37 PM
I really hope so because at this point in my life, I'm really sick of dating around. It would be nice to feel more "settled" with someone instead of going on more dates. Dating sucks. LOL. I don't mind dating if I have to, but I get burnt out on it, if I'm just dating and not developing anything more with someone. Gets old after awhile.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

ok a little input Posted: 8/30/2009 9:13:25 PM
You're her backup because the other one didn't work out. Do you really want to get back into it with someone like that? After all, if you weren't good enough for her the first time around, why are you suddenly now. Blow her off. Move on. Waste of time and you'll just get your heart stomped on again if she meets someone new she likes.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

What would you have said? Posted: 8/30/2009 9:10:36 PM
Even if I was working, I would be paying out a lot for child support so it wouldn't matter." I can have great empathy for guys out of work, but the minute a guy complains about child support, my empathy is gone. Your job, as a father (and mother), is to support your kids, until they can support themselves. Being divorced, should not change that but for too many dead beats, it does. They take out their bitterness on the ex, and the kids end up suffering for it when child support doesn't come through or dries up. Statistically, most single mothers are worse off financially after a divorce, not better. I know we were, along with most single mothers I know. I actually know a single mother who is having this exact problem. Her ex got laid off eight months ago, but he feels certain jobs are "beneath" him and won't get a new job, even if something is available. God forbid he work a low end job to make sure his kids have what they need. Makes me furious. Now my friend has to drain her savings which she was trying to leave untouched for her kids college fund, just to make ends meet since he refuses to work and is "living off of" is new wife. Men (and women, because there are deadbeat women too) like that make me crazy.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

When does the pain end? Posted: 8/30/2009 9:00:44 PM
Wow, I'm really sorry to hear about this Raybear. That must have been extremely tough on you and your daughters. While its nice of you to hope she's happy, you have a right to your pain, along with your anger, frustration, etc, over the entire situation. There is no set time line on your pain. It will end only when your brain is finally ready to move on which may take awhile. I know it sucks to be hurting so much still, but breakups can take awhile to get over. Especially considering how long you two were together. Don't worry about it. You'll be ready, when you're ready. Maybe that will be a year from now, maybe five years from now, etc. Everyone heals at different paces. Don't try to "force" yourself into dating if you're not ready for it yet. Give yourself the time you truly need, to heal. Also, a therapist or counselor may be able to help you cope better and get through this better so that you don't feel so lost. They do help.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 50 (view)

Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it! Posted: 8/28/2009 10:15:00 PM
There are different levels of sadomasochism, and different types. For some, a spanking may be intense enough, for others, there's a deeper need for something much more extreme. Personally, I don't care for a lot of pain during sex. I'm on the "low" end of this area. I can enjoy it "rough" sometimes, etc. But I tend to lean more towards the bondage angle. (But only with a partner who's interested in that. If not, then I don't explore it and keep it to myself) I don't mind some bruises from rougher sex, but those could be hard to hide from my coworkers so I tend to avoid things that can leave obvious marks on exposed skin. But its been quite a while since I've been able to "play" with someone in this way. Most of the guys I've dated just aren't into the kinkier stuff. sigh Only dated one who was, but he was too extreme and intense for me. It's not a requirement but it's always nice to date someone who might be interested in exploring a little bit of this with me. (like tying me up, letting me tie them up in various ways, certain sex toys, switching between the dom/sub dynamic, etc, etc.) I do know my boundaries better now though. I don't like severe pain during sex. (unless its something like hair pulling, spanking, etc. That stuff is ok) The one thing I've learned about this area of sex, is you can't try to force a partner to like it if they are not interested. Or try to change their mind about it, if they don't like it. If they just don't like it, or are not interested, you have to respect that. (or change partners if you can't) I keep my darker desires to myself and save the "vanilla" sex for my partner, if I figure out eventually, that they'll never be interested in exploring this area with me.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

sex drive in women over 40 Posted: 8/28/2009 10:03:48 PM
Jesus, I hope mine goes down (at least a little) as I age. Mine is high enough as it is and I'm only 35. If it goes any higher, I'll be working in a brothel.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 92 (view)

Why do some men believe receiving anal from a female is a homosexual act? Do you like it? Posted: 8/28/2009 9:56:35 PM
Some men are just uptight (pardon the pun) about anything related to anal sex. But some (straight) men enjoy some anal stimulation quite a bit, due to the prostate being stimulated. They have a more intense orgasm. I admit, I've had the fantasy of "doing" a guy with a strap-on if it was something he wanted to try. (But ONLY if he was truly interested and came to me about it.) I've used a strap-on with a woman and that was fun. I think men have been conditioned all their lives that this is "wrong" and "gay", etc. They are given shaming messages about anal sex from an early age. So even if they grow up and find they might enjoy trying it, there is still a certain amount of taboo for them to ask for it. But many men, just don't like the idea of it at all. That's just their personal preference. Honestly, for me personally, I don't like anything going "into" that area. So I understand many men feeling the same way. But there's nothing wrong with, if you enjoy it.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 120 (view)

Strong Willed Women Posted: 8/28/2009 9:45:06 PM
I like strong willed women too. They tend to be more open minded and creative in "certain areas". At least, that's been my experience...

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 162 (view)

Just For Fun - Top 3 What Not To Do On A 1st Date Posted: 8/28/2009 9:40:11 PM
Impatience. I don't mind a little bit of impatience, but if a guy is too impatient too soon, about too many things...that's a red flag to me. I don't mind if a guy talks about exes or even compares them to me, but if its excessive on a first date, then I start to wonder if he's really "over" the exes, or he's hoping I'll be more like them eventually. If I notice him looking at other girls quite a bit, instead of focusing a bit more on me, I'm going to wonder if he's going be constantly comparing me to other women on future dates, or if he'd rather be on a date with one of the girls he's looking at. (I know guys look at other women. I don't have a problem with that. But when they don't even try to hide it on a first date, that's another red flag to me) These are things that have actually happened to me with various first dates over the years, with various people. For example: I remember one date I met at a mall, and everything seemed to be going pretty well till we sat down at the food court, and then his eyes were wondering over every single young woman that walked by us, and I suddenly felt invisible. That really, really stung. Again, I know guys look...but jesus, on a first date, make the effort to actually keep focused on the girl you're with. If you must look at other women on a first date, at least don't be so obvious about it. Otherwise, it just comes across to us, as rude.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 301 (view)

I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc. Posted: 8/28/2009 9:18:56 PM
I do agree, that this is true to a certain extent. Men only get once chance to impress otherwise, many of us move on to the next one. (I've been guilty of that myself) But in a way, it gives men an advantage. It gives you a thicker skin so that you handle rejection better, unlike some women, who aren't as used to it, and don't handle it as well if we get rejected. (I know it stings when it happens to me, but its happened enough, where I've finally developed a thicker skin too) I think women aren't sure how we should be these days. If we ask a guy out, we're told we're "too aggressive" and some guys don't like that. But if we wait for men to come to us, then we're told we have all the power, and that's not fair to men, blah, blah, blah. We're also raised (maybe wrongly) all our lives to think that men like the chase, and therefore we should let them chase us, otherwise, they'll lose interest if we're too easy to obtain. So, what should women be then? Make up your minds!

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 126 (view)

Dating in the Dark... would you do it? Posted: 8/28/2009 9:06:36 PM
I think the show is an interesting concept, but since men tend to be more visual then us, what we look like, does tend to be much more important to them. I've never cared about a guy's looks. If I like his personality and we "click", that's all I care about. I would be a contestant on that show. I would have no problem with not being able to see them until the very end. Why not?

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 241 (view)

Sexless marriages/relationships.....go figure? Posted: 8/28/2009 9:01:30 PM
It would depend on why it had become sexless. Are we older, losing our hormones, does one of us have a health issue that messes with sex drive/ability, is someone having an affair, is someone no longer in love with the other, etc, etc? There are many reasons why this happens. I'd like to figure out the reason first, before ending the relationship first. Especially if we've been together for awhile.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 105 (view)

What would you think/do if... Posted: 8/28/2009 8:55:44 PM
Wow, that was quite ballsy of her and quite disrespectful to you. Good grief, three days??? See, if a guy takes the time to pick out a ring for me, I'm going to appreciate what I'm being given. I would be pissed, if I was you. She's already giving you the message that you've done something that doesn't meet her standards. You sure you want to marry this one?

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

How Important is it that you have chemistry with someone? Posted: 8/28/2009 8:39:44 PM
I think it's important but chemistry is a funny thing. I've dated guys I felt no chemistry with at all at first, but over time, they grew on me, therefore the chemistry grew. I've also dated guys I thought I had intense chemistry with early on, only to find out later they weren't as interested as I thought they were, or the chemistry just fizzled for whatever reason. It's always nice to feel that little "spark" with someone you meet initially, but sometimes, that spark is a slow burn that can grow over time if given a chance. Just depends on the situation I suppose.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

POWER Posted: 8/28/2009 8:36:52 PM
I don't feel the need for power in a relationship. I can be controlling, but I tend to be more controlling of myself then the other person. I like things to be 50/50. The only "power" I'm interested in is occasionally dominating in the bedroom....if he's so inclined and if we've gotten to that point. Now that kind of power, can be lots and lots of fun.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 114 (view)

do YOU see others as they truly are? Posted: 8/28/2009 8:30:50 PM
I think we're all guilty of doing this at one time or another. We've all "tested" someone we've dated to see how much they might be "like us" after all. That can become a very destructive pattern though. (and yes, I've learned this the hard way) For example, I don't mind if a guy I'm dating compares me to his exes. I only mind if he's comparing me to his exes because secretly, he's hoping I'll be more like them, or turn into one of them, or have more of their traits. Or he mentions he likes certain "types" of girls, because secretly, he's hoping I'll change and turn into that eventually. You can't fall for someone's "potential". You have to fall for someone as they truly are. Otherwise, you don't really love "them". So, if you have trust issues and feel the need to "test" someone you dated because you're not sure if you can be trusted, that is a disaster, waiting to happen. Take it from someone who has a jealous streak, who did just that a few years ago with someone I was dating. It never works, and always backfires. You need to figure out who you really are, and if you're truly comfortable with yourself. Only then can you date someone honestly, and not play those kinds of games with someone. You need to ask yourself, would you date someone like you? If the answer is no, then what the other person is doing, should be the least of your worries. You have to work on yourself first, before you can see the person you're dating for them, instead of projecting other things onto them. Besides, that's not fair to the other person you're dating, if you're not truly dating them for them.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 62 (view)

I only see my boyfriend once a week Posted: 8/28/2009 8:20:30 PM
Sounds fine to me. I'm currently dating someone I only see once a week, but that's mostly because our schedules just work out that way. I wouldn't have a problem seeing him more often if he wanted that and requested it, but so far, once a week seems to work fine. We email each other pretty regularly, but I don't "expect" him to email me every single day. I think girls expect a little too much contact sometimes. Guys are just not phone people. They don't need to talk on the phone for hours or every day like some women enjoy doing. I wouldn't take it personally. He's staying in touch with you and making the effort to keep things going. I don't think there's anything to fret about. If he suddenly stops contacting you or is busy weekend after weekend, then I'd be worried. But if things are going well, and he's continuing to keep you in the loop, don't worry about it. Just enjoy your dates.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

The real problem with relationships today. Posted: 8/28/2009 8:14:55 PM
For me it's pessimism. Trying to stay more positive about things and not letting negative things creep into a relationship which can eat away at it over time. Also, sex too soon, is sabotaging too many relationships. Too many fall into lust with each other instead of love and mistake one for the other. Impatience, is a big problem with dating these days. (which is why I've learned to be more patient) We've all become too fickle, and are ready to drop someone too quickly the minute we find even the slightest flaw in them. How are relationships supposed to grow, if we don't have the patience to grow them? That's a lesson I've learned. Learning to be more patient.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

i know what i DON'T want Posted: 8/28/2009 8:09:18 PM
I think the trick is knowing how to do both. Weeding out what you don't like, don't need, can't deal with etc, along with looking for someone who has the traits you do like. No one is perfect and even if you do meet someone you really dig, everyone is going to have a few things about them that you might not care for because we're all capable of getting on someone's nerves from time to time. Even the people who adore and love us, can be annoyed by us sometimes. It just depends on what your personal boundaries are, and how much of someone's "quirks" you can tolerate if you really like everything else about them. I can actually handle quite a bit of quirkiness and even dysfunction in someone else, if they can put up with me. I try to focus more on what I like about a person, if I really like them and less on the negative stuff.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

On persistence Posted: 8/28/2009 8:03:32 PM
I don't mind being pursued a little bit, if I'm interested, because then it lets me know he's interested as well. But if I'm not interested, then a guy who's too persistent can become annoying (or scary depending on how intense he gets). I can be flattered to a point, but eventually, if I'm not interested, I'd rather they just move on. However, I'm not like most women. I don't really play the "chase me" game for very long. If I like a guy, I let him know it, pretty early on, and pretty clearly so that he's not wondering if I do or not. (but only if I've gotten some early signs that he might be interested too) I've had my share of reading guys wrong of course, and then I stop my own version of pursuing once I've found out for sure, that they are just not interested in me "that way". I don't like to waste my time on someone who's just never going to be into me. I don't try and change a guy's mind. He's either into me, or he's not. One of the things I've learned about dating is you can't make someone like you the way you like them if they don't. It's just better to move on to someone else who does.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 46 (view)

Not looking to be just friends Posted: 8/28/2009 7:57:30 PM
That sucks, but at least you found out now, instead of wasting time pining for her. Take it from someone who's ended up in the "friend zone" a few times myself with guys I liked. If you truly are interested in her, you can't be friends with her. It will eat at you too much. Just move on. I learned my lesson the hard way with someone I liked a few years ago who wasn't interested in reciprocating more then just friendship. I have enough guy friends. I don't need any more. Find someone who is truly into you and obvious about it. Being trapped in the friends zone is hell. Get out of there!

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 569 (view)

Do women cook anymore?? Posted: 8/28/2009 7:49:16 PM
I actually started a thread about this exact topic in another forum... I understand why men like it if a woman can cook, but being born with a vagina, does not automatically make every little girl dream of growing up and slaving in a kitchen all day for someone else. Girls have other dreams (and rightfully so) these days, and honestly microwaving saves a lot of time so that we can have time to pursue those other dreams. I'm an artist, so I spent my younger years teaching myself to draw, etc, instead of hanging out in the kitchen. Just like most boys my age, I simply had other gasp interests.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Who decides what is reasonable? Posted: 8/28/2009 7:38:24 PM
Honestly, I don't think you were the problem. He had already decided the relationship was over and was just looking for "reasons" to end it. But that's how guys are. It's just easier for them to get icky towards us, to make themselves feel better, or feel less guilty about ending things. It's easier for them to be harsh about it, because then they can turn us into the enemy, detach and move on more quickly. I'm not saying all men break up this way, but that's been my experience so for with most of them as far as a breakup. And most of my female friends have experienced this if they were the ones getting dumped. Most of them tend to break up with us well before they actually do. They're just doing it in their head first. That's why some breakups are such a "surprise" to us, when they've already been planning it for months. You're just not what he's looking for, or he's overly sensitive and can't handle any kind of occasional friction in a relationship. His loss, not yours. Consider yourself lucky that you only wasted eight months on him instead of years. Besides, some people are just looking for something to argue about. You walked away from him instead of feeding his ego by getting involved in whatever drama he was trying to start with an argument. Some (insecure) guys feel like we don't care about them enough, if we don't allow ourselves to get sucked into their drama every time they're upset about something. That's a sign of immaturity. Personally, I can't stand guys like that and these days, avoid them like the plague. Your life is now drama free. Be grateful for that. The breakup is going to sting and hurt, but you'll be stronger for it, and hopefully avoid his "type" in the future.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 99 (view)

Can White Americans REALLY judge what is racist and what is not? Posted: 8/18/2009 8:04:56 PM
I think we can empathize to a certain degree, but we'll never really know what its like to grow up black in this country. It really must be a different universe. I have become more aware of racism, and have tried to educate myself more on it as a white person, but I will never know what its like to be treated differently if I had darker skin. I can be more compassionate towards African Americans as far as racial issues, but as a white person, I suppose my understanding will only go so far since I've never experienced it. I recognize obvious forms of racism when I see it, but just like sexism, or any other "ism", there are many more subtle forms of racism that I probably miss all the time because I'm not used to noticing them on a regular basis like black Americans do.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 115 (view)

taking God out of School/Government..good/bad? Posted: 8/18/2009 8:00:15 PM
Our founding fathers were very fond of having religion in the classroom. I believe it belongs there. People who ignore our history and cling on to the religion of humanism (atheism) would prefer to dictate their ideology to everyone and have been quite successful. In the 1950's there was school prayer. Student problems were chewing gum and talking. In modern times without school prayer we have seen student problems increase to murder, rape and drug abuse. George Washington said in his farewell address, "we cannot have national morality apart from religious principles." It seems he knew what he was talking about. The humanist of modern times is the person of ignorance I find a post like this funny considering how much power the "religious right" has had in this country, and how much they want to force their belief system on the rest of us who don't believe exactly as they do. You can only count on religion for one thing. Breeding intolerance of others who believe differently. God forbid, we don't believe as you do. I also love people who quote our "founding fathers", when it was perfectly ok back then to own slaves, women had few rights if any, etc, etc. Religion was used as an excuse for all sorts of human rights violations back then. But hey, lets cling to that history instead right? Also, there was still plenty of murder, rape and drug abuse back then. I love how people assume these crimes didn't exist before a certain decade when they've existed for thousands of years. Also, there's this little thing called "progress" that religion always wants to get in the way of. If being an atheist or an agnostic means I get to live in a country where I can enjoy modern freedoms as a woman, and the most current up to date scientific and medical advances, I'd rather live now, then back then.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 114 (view)

taking God out of School/Government..good/bad? Posted: 8/18/2009 7:52:29 PM
I don't believe religion has any place in public schools. Private schools, different story, but public schools, no. I don't believe religion should have any place in government as well. There's a reason for "separation of Church and State", otherwise, the two risk muddling with each other. Unfortunately, religion has absolutely no affect on the downward spiral of schools and government. God can't "save" those two things. Personally, I think the government has done a pretty crappy job of running a lot of public schools and many of them might benefit from privatizing...just not for religious reasons. God simply can't save this planet anymore. We're too far gone.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Is this any way to treat a cat? Posted: 8/18/2009 7:45:46 PM
I'd still call The Humane Society. Overfeading a cat to that point could still be considered a form of abuse. What a jerk. People like this should not be allowed to own pets. Her cat will get sick and develop all kinds of health issues since he's so overweight. People like this make me furious.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

Men with hair on their chest, or NO? Posted: 8/18/2009 7:36:59 PM
I love hair. The more, the better. Just like the feel of it against my skin. Like facial hair on a guy too.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 76 (view)

Why are Americans so Anti Socialist? Posted: 8/18/2009 7:33:41 PM
Don't you guys have to wait months to see your doctors? In our country, even booked doctors can see us within a month usually. I don't think it's socialism we're afraid of. It's waiting six months to see a specialist, that scares us. Oh, and our elderly do have some sort of healthcare here. Medicaid has its problems, but its better then nothing.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 86 (view)

How come so many people seem to be clueless about sex? Posted: 8/12/2009 5:25:24 PM
Because there's still too much mis-information out there, their parents were too embarressed to talk to them about it, schools don't have enough "thorough" sex ed since the religious right only wants abstinance taught (which is ridiculous and unrealistic), and on and on. God forbid we actually talk to our teenagers about anything related to sex. Oh, the horror! There are many reasons for the lack of sexual education among adults. There is also still the double standard. A woman who knows too much about sex or talks about it too much is still seen as "easy" while a guy who is the same, is seen as a stud who knows how to please women. There are many, many women who still don't know how to properly give themsevles orgasms, because they've gotten shaming messages about sex growing up, or just never learned anything about it from anyone. There's also still a lot of secrecy with sex in American society, which honestly, keeps us all sicker sexually. If we can't be open and honest with each other about this issue, nothing is going to improve. Plus, (some) pornography can give the wrong message about sex, and that can twist some folk's view on what others need to be sexually satisfied. If your only education on sex is porn as a teenage boy growing up, you're going to get some wrong assumptions about sex, if no one else fills you in on the details, instead of just the act itself. Personally, I like sex, but I also had a mother I could ask anything. So I was far more educated about it, before I even took sex ed at school. I never got a shaming message about it, and I got the proper information, which was very helpful as I got older. So, even though I was older when I finally lost my virginity, at least I was more prepared for it due to the education I did recieve. It makes a difference.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Asking for STD test results Posted: 8/12/2009 5:11:29 PM
Nothing wrong with asking, especially these days. And due to the fact that many STDs show no symptoms, I usually like to get tested BEFORE I sleep with someone new to make sure I didn't carry anything I don't want from a past relationship. It's just good common sense these days, to make sure you 1. use protection, and 2. get tested if you're not in a monagomous relationship. (or haven't been in one for awhile) I've never had an STD, and never want one, so if a new potential partner wants me to get tested, or see the results, I have no problem with that. (as long as he's willing to do the same for me)

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Women watching porn. If you've done it? Posted: 8/12/2009 5:03:26 PM
Meh. I get bored with it. I haven't watched any in quite awhile, because I'd really rather have the real thing to play with, then playing with a remote control. I can get turned on by porn, but it only keeps my interest for so long, and then I get bored. Plus, its expensive, and a hobby I can't really afford. If I'm that bad off, I just masturbate instead.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 77 (view)

Where is your spot? Posted: 8/12/2009 4:59:40 PM
Hmmm....that's a good question. Depends on the mood/day/etc. But I can usually be turned into a big ball of jello if my back is kissed, rubbed, etc. Just something about the nerve endings in my back....I think I'm part cat. I also sometimes just like a good, "squeezing the air out of my lungs" hug. Makes me feel "safe" I suppose, which can be a turnon for women. I just like the feel of a guy's arms around me sometimes. Very cozy. I'll even purr on occasion.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Category for kinky people Posted: 8/12/2009 4:54:58 PM
There are plenty of online dating sites for kinky folks. Maybe try some of them instead? The problem with many of the "adult" sites though, is they seem geared more towards just hooking up instead of finding a relationship out of them. If you have some kinkier interests....there's nothing wrong with putting that in your POF profile if you're looking to find someone who shares those interests. It just might take you longer on here, then on an adult dating site.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 90 (view)

The Four favourite questions guys love to ask.... Posted: 8/12/2009 4:49:59 PM
This is why you should avoid the topic of sex for awhile, if you want to meet someone who's actually looking to date, instead of just looking to get laid. If you don't mind talking about sex right away however, are you surprised these questions come up so soon? If you're going to talk about it, they are going to ask. Also, you don't have to answer anything, you're not ready to answer.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 48 (view)

The Deep Spot Posted: 8/12/2009 4:43:34 PM
It's called the "G-spot", not deep spot. Lets be adults and use the proper terminology shall we? The muscle, is called the keigel muscle. And yes, most women already know about this because we tend to know our own parts. It's not a "mystery" to most of us. However, certain areas of the vagina can be harder to stimulate, depending on different factors. Certain positions, etc, can help to stimulate other parts of the vagina, not easily reached by the missionary position. Sometimes, if a guy practices using a finger, that can help him find out where her more sensitive vaginal areas are. This is why foreplay is so important for women. It helps lubricate us "down there" much better making it easier for us to orgasm, whether it be with just clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation, or both. Our G spots are more receptive to any kind of stimulation, if we get some foreplay beforehand.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

Sex with the lights off? Posted: 8/12/2009 4:34:40 PM
I don't mind lights off, but personally, I like to "see" what I'm getting so I like at least a little bit of light. But when it comes to sex, I'm more visual anyway, so just seeing is a turnon. But sometimes, completely dark is ok too. Then you have to rely on other senses which are heightened and that can be a turn on. But women (or men) who need the lights off all the time, usually have some insecurity issues about their bodies.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 100 (view)

Rim Job? Posted: 8/12/2009 4:33:05 PM
As open minded as I am in certain things "sexually kinky", personally, I've never had the desire to "rim" a guy. But I don't like "that area" messed around with on me either. (too sensitive) But even though I'm a bit of an "anal prude", if two consenting adults enjoy it, I don't judge others. I just hope that they make sure to do enough proper cleaning before venturing into that specific area. The smell of as* is not exactly a turnon for most people.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 81 (view)

FINDING OUT SECRETS Posted: 8/12/2009 4:19:31 PM
He's not seeing any real future with you if he's still corresponding with other women. You're just convenient company for now, while he's still on the prowl. Course, some people become "addicted" to the hunt online. (even if they do like who they are dating) Drop him. You're wasting your time on this one.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 118 (view)

Is being faithful a thing of the past? Posted: 8/12/2009 4:16:14 PM
Cheating has always existed. It's just more out in the open now, and unlike in the past, women are less likely to put up with it these days...and just as many women these days, are cheating as men. I think it comes down to too many people having dating A.D.D. these days. For some, the grass is always greener somewhere else. I'd say modern dating is lacking a certain amount of patience that used to be standard years ago. (I've been guilty of "impatient dating" myself in the past) I think the key is, dating someone you really and truly like, respect, etc. Then it can grow. If it's all about lust too soon, then it never turns into anything else, and it becomes to easy for people to start cheating once the thrill has worn off and they become bored with the current partner. I'm more patient now then I used to be (at least, I hope I am) and I'm finding it does make a difference. I want to spend more time getting to know the person, then rushing things, having it crash and burn, and then having to move on. That vicious cycle gets really old after a few years.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

if someone scared you by seeming too eager. . . Posted: 8/12/2009 3:54:42 PM
Depends on what you personally consider "too fast". Everyone has their own comfort level as far as pacing. If someone seems a bit too impatient to move things along too soon, that can be a red flag. Tell them you need to slow down. Move on, if they can't. I've always dated guys who were in too much of a hurry. Then I'd let myself rush into things with them. Big mistake. Slower, is better.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 128 (view)

guys who like girls with tummies Posted: 8/3/2009 2:05:06 PM
Thank god some men like tummies. I've always had one.

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 259 (view)

What are women really looking for? Posted: 7/26/2009 10:16:33 PM
1. Honesty 2. Honesty 3. Honesty!!!! In other words, don't contact me if I'm not what you're truly looking for, but you contact me anyway because I seem "close enough". Yes, I do need to know everything about you, including absolutely everything about your past, if we start dating regularly. (Example: I don't care if you caught crabs from that stripper in Vegas two years ago. I just want to know you got treated for it!) It's not what you did that will upset me. It's lying about it, or "leaving something out" that bothers me. 4. loyalty This is actually important to men, but it's also important to us too. 5. self awareness I don't care if you have some dysfunctions. But if you're still in denial of them, its not going to work between us. 6. sense of humor and someone who can handle sarcasm Some folks can dish it out but can't take it once we try to dish it back. 7. even temper I know guys get mad sometimes, and sometimes that means they break, throw, or hit things. I get that. But if you ever do that to me...we're done. 8. Honesty....sorry, did I mention that already?

LakeCountyGal

Joined: 9/4/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

Fatal mistake: too available Posted: 7/26/2009 10:04:22 PM
This is a hard one for me. I don't like to date a guy who's too needy, but at the same time, if we both really like each other, how available do I make myself without making me seem too needy or too available? It's a double edged sword. All the dating advice books tell us to have our own lives apart from those we date, so that we have more "value" to those we date. That's great in theory, but I find it hard to maintain sometimes, especially if I really like someone. I also find myself breaking my own rules if I really like someone. I find myself wanting to talk to them more often, even if I've told them I don't want to be called, texted, or emailed every day. I am good at doing things alone, since I'm more of a loner by nature anyway, but its funny how things can start to change in my brain if I meet someone I really dig. Then, a part of me wants to do everything with them, and I have to tell myself to back off because I don't want to come across as too available. (and I don't want to scare them away) Honestly, I just don't have the energy to be "mysterious" or busy all the time. My life is kind of boring actually, but I like boring, because boring means stability to me and no drama. I don't mind some excitement and some neediness but not all the time. I do enjoy doing things with friends or family outside of dating. But for some of us, our lives are just not that busy or exciting outside of dating. They are just routine. Dating helps break up that routine. How "available" is one supposed to be? This is something I'm still not sure of. sigh

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