Some people, Jay, need or just plain want some form - any form of companionship. It's still possible to support one's self while sharing space with others.

I'm more of an introvert so I much prefer living alone for many reasons, mostly being that I'm a clean freak

Sometimes living alone is scary and/or dangerous for a young woman.

Soft Lily lamented:
To everyone else:

Some of the personalities in this place dishearten me; not just about my weight, but the way in which they intend to 'help' people. One lady made a comparison about how calling someone fat, and letting them know they are 'fat', is the equivalent of an alcoholic intervention.

Another lady commented that it doesn't help to call someone 'fat'. She's right, as a fat person, I'll let you know right now I am completely aware of my state. Do you know what being called fat (even kindly so) does to me? Strangers telling me I'm fat, even my family telling me I'm fat, only makes me feel as if it is a 'bigger' and 'bigger' problem with my body. It doesn't encourage me to change, just cause a horrific emotional self loop of frustration and over eating. Of self sabotage because I figure it is such a big problem that I can barely do anything about it because I'm such a lard ass in the first place.

Ray of moonlight said:
Those of us who are forum regulars know about the problem of the op.Her asian boyfriend refused to acknowledge he is even dating the op and has even forbid her from posting on his facebook page.None of his family and friends know she even exist.This is the problem not her weight.

Beershark added:
And why would this not be valid as a reason for her problem? We are talking about why her boyfriend doesn't want her to meet his boy friends. It just may be what his problem is.
We have to stop shooting the messenger every time the issue of weight comes up, and yes, the shoe fits both ways. I'm 275lbs. I would a fool not to think that has an effect on my social life.

Bottom line is male or female you don't have to do anything you don't want to, but it's totally within your prerogative to take action when you don't like the current situation, even if that action is to decide you don't care.

Guys have it a little easier though, as they don't get approached as much by women they consider to be filler, or not their type, or whatever.

Nice. I run every morning and lift here and there; then go to work as an engineer where I spend WAY too much time on here. Thankfully, I'm starting a new job soon that will be more interesting than this, the boringest of all engineering jobs EVER!

Yes, and yet here we are, "experts" all, on a dating site....

Thread is older men chasing younger women--spoof men and their pathetic fear of aging, balding and losing their sex appeal,hahaha.

spoof (spf): www.thefreedictionary.com/spoof
n.
1. Nonsense; tomfoolery.
2. A hoax.
3. A gentle satirical imitation; a light parody.

Sorry, I'm not going to be one of those guys who's girl swore she was on birth control during the baby shower but got pregnant anyway.

Right, and NOW people can use this tech to ignore people and NOT return their calls. lol!

You got me on the lazy part Jay. It’s generally true, I prefer to avoid work where possible - and it’s also true I did not read your earlier post. But I was careful to put my “challenges” into interrogatory form. That usually means I am looking for information and not making assertions - or disparaging remarks of a personal nature.

I see what you’re saying about splitting bills on a percentage basis. It still doesn’t work. If she makes 20k and I make 120 and we plan our spending so we have the same percentage of residual ‘discretionary money’ - say 30% of our net, she would have $6,000 to spend or save each year, and I would have $36,000.

Consigliori challenged:
Are you suggesting that each partner should make equal contributions to living expenses and then put the difference into separate individual accounts for their own use? So do you limit the couple's joint lifestyle by the lesser income? Both parties contribute X to the joint account and the one party who makes more gets to put more away while the other party puts away nothing?

Excerpt from MY msg #133, Page 6:
I think that a joint account should be put in place to handle JOINT expenses for the couple, i.e. mortgage, insurance, children's education, etc., with SEPARATE personal accounts for any excess. Moreso I think that the couple should have to split the joint bills by percentage proportional to their respective net incomes, which will be paid into the communal expense fund.

What I mean is that if Jane Doe nets $60,000 a year after the tax-man's cut, and John Doe nets $40,000 a year, then for any SHARED expense that comes in, Jane should be contributing 60% (60,000 / 100,000 x 100%) and John should be contributing 40% of the expense amount (40,000 / 100,000 x 100%). Similarly if John is a stay-at-home dad with no income, then Jane unfortunately is stuck footing 100% of the bills (but I think long-term single income families have pretty much gone the way of the Dodo in this hemisphere).

It's the only fair equation that I can PERSONALLY envisage working regardless of what each partner earns, PROVIDED they are living a lifestyle that does not exceed their COMBINED NET INCOME. If they're living beyond their communal means, then both John and Jane are screwed since neither of them has enough scratch to cover the bills.

Ok lets say one in the marriage takes out a credit card the other knows nothing about because they are planning to bail on the marriage. (happened to me) If you don't have a pre nup and keep personal accounts it can cost the one that knew nothing about it.
Nope it is just not worth it.

Funny we are expected to celebrate the anniversary of the wedding every year.......Wouldn't it be frugal to keep important papers like wills and pre nups up to date so if we die or divorce during the year so our wishes are known?

I tend to believe that women's opinions tend to be much more varied. I am not sure why that is but it seems to be the case. Most guys will agree on hot, not hot. Women not so much.

As I said, I don't have a problem with a pre-nup but by definition, that's an agreement made prior to marriage. But when you say it's something that has to be signed each year or else divorce proceedings will ensue, then your relationship is not "truly about love," it's been reduced to a financial transaction.

There are basically 3 types of men...

1- Men that have LTRs/marriage with women that are better looking than they are
2- Men that have LTRs/marriage with women that are similar looking
3- Men that have LTRs/marriage with women that are less attractive than they are

guys - which type are you?
women- which type are you? (from your angle)