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Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex Posted: 12/9/2008 10:43:08 PM
OP - you wanted to know what you posted in your profile that makes you sound misogynist and like a jerk - here goes. "I like a woman that is sort of intelligent, but is a not B**ch." Sort of intelligent? What does that mean? Not too smart to make you feel smarter? And what does intelligence have to do with being a b1tch? " if she does have kids, she has to have them under control and in line. " What the hell? Under control and in line? That sounds pretty controlling and pretty frightening if I am hoping you would be a good stepdad to my kids. "A woman with kids can be "damaged goods", there are excepts to that rule. " That sounds so horrible. Damaged, like a woman is a dented can of soup or something. And you imply that a woman with kids who isn't "damaged goods" is rare. Plus is is "exceptions" to the rule not "excepts". I guess this is why you only want a sort of intelligent woman instead of an intelligent one. "Some people may take my above comments as sexist and to some point they are. " Yes they are sexist, and if you are willing to say this much I can only imagine what you won't say in your profile. Sexist is not sexy. "No nagging is also a must." Yeah, some women nag, but in my experience it is often because the guy is a lazy bum and needs to be reminded over and over to do things. That is just my 1 minute critique. I don't have the time, energy or inclination to go into further depth. I just encourage you to read what you wrote and decide if it actually is you or not. If it is, I think you should attend a women's studies class and I guarantee you would learn a lot. If it is not like you - why do you want to sound like an ass in your profile??

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Trapped air Posted: 12/8/2008 11:26:04 PM
It happened to me once as a teenager and I was so embarassed. Now I know it is normal to happen sometimes. If it is painful for her - maybe try to see if you can pinpoint what you two are doing when it happens and try different positions. Maybe it happens in one position more than another.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex Posted: 12/8/2008 11:16:55 PM
OP, I stand by my comments. I re-read your profile to see if I missed something and I didn't. I can only go by what I know of you in your profile. If you say that is the opposite of who you are, why do you make yourself sound like a misogynist jerk in your profile?

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex Posted: 12/7/2008 9:21:38 PM
Yikes - I didn't look at OP's profile before I answered. Now that I have I have a different comment. OP - get some help. You sound like a misogynist and that kind of attitude is hurtful to women and to men.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

A guy you meet is not allowed to have his daughter stay over Posted: 12/7/2008 7:01:00 PM
First of all, a criminal record check only records convictions of crimes, not whether the person has actually committed any crimes. Think of how many times you have been caught speeding in your car vs how many times you actually do. So don't equate a clean criminal record with innocence. I don't know much about dad's who have been screwed over by family courts, but I used to work in a battered women's shelter. I've seen men who have beaten their partners into the hospital still have liberal and generous access to their kids. Child custody and access issues can be brutal and I think the first thing that gets lost is the best interests of the child. I'd talk more with this guy. Get lots and lots of information and be very very careful.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

A guy you meet is not allowed to have his daughter stay over Posted: 12/7/2008 3:31:10 AM
I would be concerned about that. Plus I'd be concerned about why the visits were only twice a year. As for the ex not allowing it - it sounds more like a court order to me. I mean, he has equal rights to access unless it is limited by a judge. Find out more...

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex Posted: 12/7/2008 1:07:41 AM
I think he's disgusting. Humiliation is a particular kink and if two people want this and agree to it - nothing wrong there. But that doesn't sound like the guy you are describing. Keep far FAR away from him. And warn your girlfriends.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

BDSM Question Posted: 12/7/2008 1:01:45 AM
I find this hard to bring up sometimes too. I find if you do it too soon, guys can assume things about you - like you are a slut or that you are some kind of deviant or something. I try to get into a conversation about what things he likes and what things I like sexually. Or start the convo in an e-mail or IM and say something like "I hope you don't think this is weird, but..." I think it is an important convo to have because without sexual compatability you can end up bored or frustrated. If it freaks the guy out and he cuts of contact, better to know right away than months or years into a relationship. I know too many people who hid that side of them and now are feeling unfilfilled in long term relationships. A couple people I know cheat for this reason - they can't get the things they want from their partners.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

The whole BI thing Posted: 11/25/2008 10:03:39 PM
I don't see anything wrong with guys or girls being bi. I actually think it is hot! And very openminded. I am certainly not bi in order to fulfil some man's fantasy, I just like girls too - not as much as guys though!

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Taking a break and do I owe an apology? Posted: 11/18/2008 11:05:13 PM
It's unanimous! No apology. Maybe a good talk would be helpful for the next woman in his life though. Tell him he can't just keep a woman in the wings while he looks for something he thinks is better.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

Racism within a Race Posted: 11/18/2008 10:57:59 PM
It's not all just semantics. Words are sometimes all we have to communicate complex feelings and beliefs and so words are very important. Racism is not the same as bigotry, classism, discrimination, Eurocentrism, etc... That's why it is important to know the definitions of the words one is using. It's like calling a woman a b1tch and a fox and believing they mean the same thing. Both are words that are used to describe women - but have very different meanings.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

has anyone dated someone that was too close to a relative? Posted: 11/17/2008 4:52:58 PM
Lots of families are really close and their best friends are family members. As long as it doesn`t cross into incest I don`t see a problem with it. I did have a sexual relationship with a guy who ended up marrying my husband`s sister - so he ended up being my brother-in-law. Weird!! (btw - that was before I married)

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Breaking up over a video game?? Posted: 11/17/2008 4:41:58 PM
In Canada a young man ran away and then died in a freak accident after his parents banned him from his online game. They were on the news when they were still searching for him, saying that they did not realize the depth of the addiction and what they were really taking away from him. They did not just ban him from a "game" but from his entire social life and his closest friends - because that was all within the game. I don't think a lot of people really understand how deep people can get into a virtual life. I sure didn't. Hopefully this tragedy will alert parents to the dangers of youth being consumed by online games. I've never done any online gaming - I have an addictive personality and so just keep away.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Why do women moan more than men during sex? Posted: 11/15/2008 9:59:46 PM
whytwater - interesting - he was in the Canadian military for a while!

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Why do women moan more than men during sex? Posted: 11/15/2008 8:18:06 PM
I was with a guy who growled when he was getting close to coming - that was kinda cool. Surprised me at first though!

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Friendship problem Posted: 11/15/2008 8:09:23 PM
OP - tell him exactly what you've written here. I don't need to be hanging out with someone that's always going to be hitting on me and such. Tell him you want him as a friend ONLY, and if he can't accept that you will need to break off the friendship - for both your sakes.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Confused, Can I Trust Her Again? Posted: 11/15/2008 8:03:15 PM
Yikes - you guys are pretty harsh! I think that if you love her and if this is the only issue that has come up - some relationship counselling may be in order. Live apart, no sex, and go to counselling if you want to make it work. She needs to see a mental health counsellor as well. Trauma can make people do all kinds of weird things. Not that I am excusing her behaviour, but if she has depression she has an illness. An illness that can be managed if proper attention is paid to it.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

orgasms every time... am i lucky or is it the chemistry or what Posted: 11/12/2008 10:27:04 PM
OP - I am so jealous! It's probably you, especially if you can bring yourself to orgasm that easily with masturbation.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

Definition Of A FREAK?? And Who Is Proud To Be One?? Posted: 11/12/2008 10:13:11 PM
According to Wikipedia, "Freak" may be used either as a pejorative, a term of admiration, or a self-description. So I use it both as - What a freak - meaning what a weirdo! And, What a freak in the bedroom - meaning wow - he's willing to try and do all kinds of things that are beyond vanilla (plain missionary)!

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Women kissing after oral sex Posted: 11/12/2008 1:23:49 AM
Guys - is this something a lot of women will do or no? Guys - is it a turn on if a woman will kiss you after or do you care?

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

condoms for uncircumcised men Posted: 11/12/2008 1:06:50 AM
I don't think I've ever been with an uncut man. (and no, I am not sure, because there was a time in my life when I couldn't even look at a penis, never mind touch one! It was just straight to the old in-out-in-out.) This threat has been interesting!!

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

Definition Of A FREAK?? And Who Is Proud To Be One?? Posted: 11/12/2008 12:38:49 AM
The safer I feel with a guy the freakier I can get! Thank the goddess for a certain guy I met in my later 20's who taught me to enjoy sex and explore my freaky side! I had been going through life being bored with vanilla sex (vanilla meaning plain and not exploring all the other flavours!). I need intensity to enjoy sex - vanilla just doesn't do anything for me. So things I like that some consider freaky are: biting (leaving bruises, especially my breasts), nipple clamps, anal, oral, rope play, breath play, porn (watching not making) submission and domination, toys, etc... I love that balance between pleasure and pain! I am pretty much open to anything at least once. But like I said - I need to trust someone. So a one night stand doesn't see much of my freaky side. I also don't like to cyber - just doesn't do anything for me. I also can't have the general public finding out about my freaky side - so no marks where they can be seen! I wish I could swallow more easily though. I've only done it a few times and I just barely gagged it down. I'd love to find a guy who is sexually compatable with me. It takes me a while to get really freaky, but gods do I want it!

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Women kissing after oral sex Posted: 11/12/2008 12:20:00 AM
I used to think the idea of it was gross. My husband would not kiss me after I was down on him (even though he didn't cum in my mouth) and so I guess I got the idea that tasting yourself was disgusting. Then a guy I was with - who opened my mind to a whole lot of things - got me to try it. He thought it was really hot and I didn't mind. It makes sex more fun if you can go back and forth, have his c0ck in your vagina and then in your mouth and back again - kissing all the while!

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Where are we headed? Posted: 11/9/2008 10:47:23 PM
I think I have done too much reading on wars, poverty, environment, race relations, religion, etc... to believe that the world is heading anywhere good. My believs are pretty doom and gloom, but I have heard no convincing evidence to the contrary. I believe we have done to much damage to the environment to repair. I think in my lifetime (I am in my mid 30's) I will see cataclysmic environmental change including more severe weather conditions that will kill hundreds of thousands (if not millions). Massive drought and the overuse of land will reduce food supplies to millions and we will see famine at unprecidented rates. Violence will increase as those without try to access the necessities of life from those who still have it. Terrorism will increase as people turn to more fanatical religions in the belief that their gods will save them. I truly believe that people are too self centered as a whole to care enough about others to do what is needed to save our planet. We in North America are so lucky and priveledged but what are we really doing about climate change and pollution and poverty, etc... Me included. For example - Who really cares about the cooking stoves of the poor in India? But they cause a massive amount of pollution. We have clean technology that could solve this problem - but the poor cannot afford to buy it - so too bad for them eh? No - too bad for all of us, because that pollution does not stay in India. Every great civilization has fallen and I believe we are seeing the beginning of the downfall of Western Civilization. Look at the current economic crisis. Socialism has been considered evil by the US and their government has overthrown legally elected governments or supported corrupt ones - except now that companies need financial bailouts - the government turns to a socialist leaning solution. I think they whole system is going to crash and we are heading not just for recession but depression. I could go on forever - but nobody wants to hear it. I've been told that by people around me a hundred times. It is this collective "not wanting to know" or not believing that things are so bad that will be our downfall.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Racism within a Race Posted: 11/9/2008 10:21:52 PM
MB, one of my best friends it a redhead - of course she hates being a redhead. Odd. I love her hair! Anyway, the definition of racism that I work with is the sociological definition which talks about racism as a system of group privelege: "culturally sanctioned beliefs, which, regardless of intentions involved, defend the advantages whites have because of the subordinated position of racial minorities,” This is the kind of racism I believe is prevalent in North America. Using this definition (which is one of many) a member of a minority group cannot be called racist because they do not have access to the priveledge of the majority group - whites. Internalized racism is when members of a minority group believe the negative stereotypes about themselves. The minority group I have the most experience with is Canadian First Nations. I see lot of racism against and internalized racism within the First Nation people I work with. It is sad to see how horribly the process of colonization almost destroyed the First Nations of Canada. Generations of people were purposely ripped from their culture, language, families, homes and spiritual beliefs. Of course it will take generations to repair. And when a person looks at a First Nations person without considering colonization and the effects on the individual, family and community, I believe that is racist. This is such a contraversial subject. It is nice to see a forum where people are being so respectful and trying to understand rather than name calling and belitteling.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Over Protective Bf's Posted: 11/8/2008 4:32:03 AM
No comment on your issues OP. As for the controlling boyfriend - I worked in a shelter for abused women for years and I don't know how many times I heard this. Trust me, it gets worse. It is a way of isolating a person to posess them completely. It is not about caring or protecting it is about control. I suggest you contact your local women's centre and go in and talk to someone about the beginning signs of an abusive relationship. You are only 19 - you are still very young. You need to do some growing up and learn about healthy relationships.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Women and random boners in public? Posted: 11/4/2008 12:28:59 AM
I would giggle as a teenager, but probably not now unless it was an odd situation. I normally don`t crotch watch - but if I noticed I`d probably just ignore it. It is a natural reaction after all.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

What is a Vagina? Posted: 11/4/2008 12:26:05 AM
Each woman is different. I don't mind some of the more crude words as long as they are used the right way. Right way - "I love your cvnt" Wrong way - "You are a cvnt" I doubt the woman wanted you to just lick her vagina - I mean what about the labia and the clitoris? It is one of my pet peeves that people call that whole area a vagina. Maybe when you are with a woman next time - find out what she calls it and ask her what words she thinks are okay and which are offensive to her. I would find it very respectful if a man asked me that.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 63 (view)

CBT Posted: 11/3/2008 11:25:53 PM
Hey - if my guy was interested - why not? I know that for me, the line between pleasure and pain is extremely blurred when it comes to sex. Nipple clamps, biting, spanking, clothes pins on nipples or vulva, dripping hot wax - all can be a lot of fun! If a guy wants me to bite or squeeze or drag my teeth or nails - why not!

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 70 (view)

Name those bits Posted: 11/3/2008 11:18:04 PM
Kids should know the proper names for their body parts in my opinion. If you teach a child all the proper names for most of their body (nose, eyes, hands) and then name their private bits something else it draws a disctinction between them. It can lead to kids believing there is something dirty, embarassing or bad about the parts they cannot name. As for child abuse - cases can be thrown out if the child can not name the parts. If a child says someone touched his tallywhacker and an adult says - you mean your penis - it is considered leading the child and the interview evidence can be virtually garbage. Trust me - I've been trained in this. I've seen cases thrown out because the child could only identify that someone touched their "thing" or made the child touch his "thing". I love some of the vulgar words - particularly c0ck and cvnt. I do have a pet peeve though - and that is when women's vulva is called the vagina. Such as should women shave their vaginas. NO - razors should never go in there!

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Holding Out with You but Boinking Someone else Posted: 11/3/2008 10:36:38 PM
I think this is a great way to screw things up later on. How can you have a good relationship with someone without honesty? If you want to have sex with others that's fine. If you want to hold out for "the one", that's fine too - but be honest about it. If a guy is going to be judgemental about your sexual side - do you really want him? I think your friends are leading you wrong.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 50 (view)

What Is Your Favorite Way to Have Sex And Why? Posted: 11/3/2008 10:26:43 PM
I am a bit of a sub, so the best sex is when I am with a guy I trust completely and who knows where my pain limit is. He takes control. Bites - leaving bruises, maybe ties my wrists, using hot wax and ice cubes on each other, maybe some anal... Double penetration is amazing - guy with a strap on so the thrusts are simultaneous. Oh Gods I'd love to do that again!

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

When to worry about a girls recent lack of interest in sex Posted: 11/2/2008 3:19:49 PM
Could the sex be getting old and boring for her? That's what happened to me in my marriage. I couldn't orgasm and he quit trying so hard. Like since there was no O there was no point in doing a lot of things. Turned into just him getting off. Of course, I started to encourage that because I wasn't all that interested anymore - so I'd tell him I wanted quickies. After a while it became a pattern and I'd avoid sex. Talk to her. Communicate. It may have made a huge difference if I had tried that.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Help with my relationship issues please (lacking experience) Posted: 10/28/2008 9:47:06 PM
I remember dating in high school meant spending every moment together. Also lots of drama. Talk to her about how much time she thinks you two should spend together. Remember too that you are young, relationships take practice and work, if she's not the right one - that's okay. You have lots of time.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Lets hear it... Posted: 10/28/2008 12:10:07 AM
You like music, but what else? Who are you? What kind of lady are you looking for?

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

disgusting and pitiful Posted: 10/28/2008 12:08:31 AM
Your looking for a hot rich older woman? Makes me think you are poor and shallow. I think you need to read Shark's comments and make some changes.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Please review profile Posted: 10/28/2008 12:03:47 AM
I think it sounds pretty good. Shows that you are not just about sports, that you have varied interests. Like the variety of pics.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Too forward or Too scary? Posted: 10/28/2008 12:01:34 AM
Lose the all caps. I wouldn't even read a profile in all caps. And the piece about seeing if you can stomach each other makes me think you are high maintenance and that others can't stomach you. It brings only negative things to my mind.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

what is wrong with my profile!? Posted: 10/27/2008 11:58:50 PM
It's a bit long. Maybe tighten up the writing a bit.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

opinions on my profile Posted: 10/27/2008 11:57:00 PM
Sounds like you are looking to cheat on your wife. Use proper sentence structure - like capital letters.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

So, I tried something new with my profile. Posted: 10/27/2008 11:54:49 PM
Way too long and written in Haiku is kind of odd...

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Help needed Posted: 10/27/2008 11:53:41 PM
Looks pretty good to me!

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Make it Quick, Are you almost done ??? Posted: 10/26/2008 9:09:47 PM
Well I think make it quick and are you almost done are two different questions and each could come from different issues. Make it quick - maybe the kids are due home soon or she has something she needs to get to and just wants a quickie, maybe she is tired or sore or not really into it in the first place. Are you almost done - maybe she is trying to gauge your reactions, maybe she doesn't want you to cum where you are currently, maybe she can't hold the position she is in much longer, maybe she is sore or has a cramp, maybe she is not really into it in the first place. My advise - communicate.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 33 (view)

The six-month dating period before kids are introduced. Some queries. Posted: 10/26/2008 10:44:52 AM
I don't have kids, but when I dated a dad who did not have primary custody we decided to wait to see how serious things got. After a couple months he talked to his kids about dad dating and they thought it was a terrible idea - and so we waited more. It was a good thing because by the end of 6 months we were not together anymore. I have worked with lots of women as a counsellor and I've talked with lots of kids who don't understand why their mom's boyfriends don't see them anymore after the break up. For some kids this is really confusing and hurtful. I've also worked with kids who will say something about dad. And when I ask which dad, they've said not my dad now, but the dad before the last dad. YIKES! As a counsellor I like to see kids considered first - before introducing them to the new guy/gal. Of course, the mom's I've worked with are quite dysfunctional and not the average. I don't think 6 months is a magical time - every kid's needs are different.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Gift Of Life Posted: 10/26/2008 10:15:30 AM
I agree that everyone's organs should be donated automatically unless people opt out of the program. And you shouldn't have to explain why you opt out - it could be for many reasons. I also think that if a person has decided to become an organ donor, the family should not be able to block it. My understanding of the law in BC is that even though I am a registered organ donor, my family could refuse on my behalf if they didn't agree. My aunt had a liver transplant many years ago and it gave her time to live to a decent age. What an amazing gift.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 109 (view)

It sounds dirty but it's not Posted: 10/23/2008 4:48:39 PM
I have a labret piercing - I think it sounds kind of dirty - like a genital piercing!

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

INSTANT Turnoffs? Posted: 10/22/2008 9:37:04 PM
Guys who look at your breasts when you talking to you. HEY - my eyes are up here. Dead beat dads.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 55 (view)

Dead Fish F*ck Posted: 10/21/2008 11:15:17 PM
I was sexually active for over 10 years before I met the guy who really taught me about sex! Changed my sex life forever! I was probably considered a dead fish **** by some guys before that, but once I learned what I liked and had the chance to explore with a guy I trusted with my life things definately changed! Now I am still very shy about initiating - but get me hot and in the dark with a guy who is not vanilla and I can be free!

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

i just can't reach orgasm :( Posted: 10/21/2008 10:58:33 PM
Saxon and Rob - it is pure ego when a guy believes he can be the one to make a woman orgasm when she never has before. Trust me - I've been with several of those kind of guys and nada. They are all talk! It's not solely about a man's skill or the size of his**** Laura - I wish you better luck than I have had.

Joline1

Joined: 9/16/2008

Msg: 195 (view)

oral sex and swallowing cum and why they wont do it Posted: 10/21/2008 10:40:03 PM
Will- sometimes trying something once or twice is enough to know you either do or don't like it. Whether it is some kind of food, sport or sex act. I don't have to keep trying to eat cooked peas to know I don't like them. I don't need to keep trying to swallow cum to know I don't like that.

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