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sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Are Happy Gut Bacteria Key to Weight Loss? Posted: 4/22/2013 1:15:41 PM
Hmm..first thing that popped into my head, OP, (and admittedly, I'm no expert) was "garbage in/garbage out". By that I mean, processed foods vs more 'natural' foods. Sugar water, as used in the example in the link, vs fresh squeezed orange juice, fructose being the main sugar. As Aristotle pointed out, we all need a good balance of healthy bacteria in our bodies. I'm going to guess the main issues arise when overly-processed foods encounter our natural, healthy bacteria, the bacteria responds in ways to counteract those foods, in ways it isn't naturally meant to work. Or ideally meant to work, I guess might be a better way to phrase it? Happy gut bacteria as you said, however, might aid in weight loss as a side effect for lack of a better word but, I'd say more so in maintaining a healthy digestive and immune system, which then would in turn aid in weight loss. So the overly processed foods don't keep us human animals functioning like the systems we're designed to be, hence muck up the natural order of our digestive functions/bodily processes (and, yes, our happy gut bacteria, lol) hence the body can't do its job as efficiently. Ergo, weight gain. Well, that and overeating I suppose, but in general principal, I guess I'd say happy gut bacteria keep our systems functioning more efficiently, ergo maintaining healthier body weight overall. If the bacteria aren't happy, is it really surprising that the body doesn't function optimally, since the unhealthy foods are what is mucking up the system in the first place?

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 50 (view)

Boyfriend moved in... Posted: 4/22/2013 12:35:59 PM
Well, while I agree with the other poster or two who basically said "start as you mean to end", OP, I also have to commend you for keeping an open mind about this when the man hasn't exactly been ruled "guilty" of anything too serious yet. (I say that because it doesn't sound like the two of you have been living together very long yet, but please correct me if I'm wrong in my assumption). Please do update us when he comes home, how much he hands over and how any further discussion goes between you. One thing I do want to say, but a question, first. When you and he agreed on 50/50, did he have an actual figure in his head of what his 50% of expenses entailled? If so, then....he's a big enough boy to have had enough of a clue as to what he could afford right from the get-go, so if he knew he couldn't afford the 50%, he ought to have spoken up then and there. If there was no actual discussion about it, or he was only "guessing" what his 50% would be, then I'd say yep, have the discussion and take it from there. Now...main piece of advice I'd give you at this point it, if you do have the discussion...from that point on, stick to your guns on whatever gets decided. If, for instance, he says he can really only afford 35% and you're okay with that....then make sure he does pitch in the 35% from here on out. Make sure he realizes what that entails, (ie--is 35% $500? $1000? $1500?) and stick to it from that point on. Otherwise yeah, I'd say that that just opens the door for him to reduce the amount each month and take advantage of your generosity. I'm not one who belives in nickel-and-diming monthly expenses, my husband and I do the 50/50 thing as well, but if his 50% falls a few dollars short of my 50% each month in how our arranged split works out, it's hardly worth the argument, and vice versa. But I do expect him to pull his weight, and vice versa. I should add in this, I'm not speaking of accidents, illnesses, things like that. Just for a general overall month to month scenario. Keep us updated, please, and good luck with your discussion.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 154 (view)

Getting to know someone and seeing if you're 'sexually compatible' or 'teasing'??? Posted: 4/9/2013 1:58:57 PM
I find it extremely odd that people think I'm 'wrong' or 'weird' or 'childish' because I don't want to fu(k on a first date...and that making out is okay UNLESS you actually state in advance that there will be no sex to go along with making out...how dare someone suggest such...lol If that's in reference to my post, I never suggested any such thing, that you should fvck on a first date (nice wording, btw, not declasse at all). What I asked was, what would kissing/making out really tell you about sexual compatibility? And, how do you determine from there (ie--if it's a good makeout session) that you want to take it further (again, I never said on the same night), if each stage seems to have to pass some sort of "test"? What is "test" number two for you? The "test" to determine when it's time to actually drop trou? For the record, what I DID say I thought was weird was you actually verbalizing, inviting the guy to go to makeout point, rather than just letting things progress naturally. That IS weird to me, I mean ever since I graduated high school decades ago.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 152 (view)

Getting to know someone and seeing if you're 'sexually compatible' or 'teasing'??? Posted: 4/9/2013 1:18:40 PM
Because I don't believe in wasting time or energy...for myself OR the other individual...that's exactly why...If I'm not going to be even a little bit interested in knowing whether or not I MAY be sexually interested (interested, since compatible can't be accomplished WITHOUT having sex as the majority of posters have clearly stated) why even bother with the facade...that's what's wrong with the majority of online dating sites...wasting of people's time, energy and money... See, this part is where you're kind of losing me. For myself, I can tell if I'm interested in pursuing a relationship or dating with a man without having to have the makeout session on the first date to determine such. What does that really tell you about the man though? All I can see is that it would tell you he's a good or bad kisser, or it feels like kissing your brother or something. And, how do you actually make the decision after this whether or not to sleep with him? If he's an excellent dry humper?

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 94 (view)

Getting to know someone and seeing if you're 'sexually compatible' or 'teasing'??? Posted: 4/5/2013 4:51:40 PM
Hmm...I guess I would describe "teasing" as promising or pretending more than one intends to deliver, strictly speaking, OP. But I think (especially at our ages) that that is rather a grey area sometimes. I know you don't want the example you used to be primary example for this thread but, if that's what actually happened, I read it and found it a bit odd, I have to say. You had a nice dinner, mild kissing, lots of chemistry, lots of flirting, etcetc, sound great! Then you went for a drive to a secluded spot and YOU asked your date: "so would you like to make out a little bit...NOT SEX because it's too soon...just making out" I'm struggling a bit to come up with an answer because this scenario that you outlined seems so highschool-girlish to me. And I don't think in the last 20 years, I've ever suggested such a scenario to a man. Why did you need to actually verbalize this? I think that might be what I'm having the biggest kaffuzle with. Why not just let things progress and see what happened? Why outright invite him but set limits? I'm sorry, it just sounds so high school to me, the way you've phrased it. And, sorry but, really tacky. Ask a guy to "makeout park" but then act like a schoolgirl? Weird. Why did you even need to set limits? You set the tone of the date by inviting him to "make out but nothing more..."....so why be surprised that he might have expected more, considering this was a first date? It's even weirder to me BECAUSE this was a first date. Your invitation probably let him think it might lead to a "sure thing"...because YOU vocalized the outline for all of this. Why even have such a conversation, why not just let things flow? I say this because, I don't think I've ever heard an adult male friend even describe a great date they had to me, but then end it with "but she was such a tease.....". And, how would you find out if you're sexually compatible if you don't have sex? Weird thread.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

I was wondering when you get the feeling that you're being taken for granted Posted: 4/4/2013 3:39:27 PM
Okay, when this has happened to me I tend to pull back or just quit doing what I was normally doing. If that doesn't work then I'd confront them about it. Just my experience, but by the time it has happened I'm already on the path to being mentally checked out and I've broken up with all of those guys. In a 'dating' situation, I think I've been fairly similar to you, Bucs. Only, I wouldn't just pull back or quit cold turkey what I was normally doing without hinting at first. For example, I might say "Sorry, but I don't think I'm going to be able to help you with that on Thursday" or something, and wait and see if they made alternate arrangements. If they didn't, and for me this would probably be repetitive happenstances, THEN I'd confront them. I do agree with you 100% that I "check out" though, if nothing changes. I mean, when you think about it, it's only dating at this stage, and already one person is being taken for granted? I DO have to add, though, that it would make a HUGE difference in anything I've described above as to how I would react, depending on the other person's attitude towards it. Sometimes the little things are all it would take to NOT make one feel taken for granted, ie--a sincere thank you, appreciation shown in other respects, things like that. If it was repetitive though, and no appreciation shown, then yeah...that's when I'd check out too, Bucs.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

Exercise bike,rower or treadmill?? Posted: 4/1/2013 3:25:55 PM
Though I guess if you are unable to understand why someone would challenge the concept of a piece of gym equipment being used to "tone" a body up you really have done nothing but prove that you buy into marketing terms. You're right in a way, but you're also being an azz about it. I agree with you completely that, depending on one's current weight/body/goals, then NO, using any of those machines is not going to tone one. Heck, someone who's overweight and trying to lose weight could do abdominal crunches every day and just end up developing great ab muscles...but if they're still hidden by a layer of fat, then what's the point really? So, OP, I do agree that most likely none of the equipment pieces you asked about are going to tone you. And I agree that really, while you can try to target certain areas of the body, it will only work to tone once you achieve optimum weight for the most part. However,if you're trying to lose weight...then yes, while "fork and knife" are a big part of it, so is cardio, and burning more calories than one takes in in a day, not rocket science. You're going to lose more calories if you raise your heart rate a bit, rather than sweating buckets doing a workout because then it's going to be primarily water weight that you'll regain next day otherwise. I get a lot of exercise at work, but not proper cardio really. I have an elliptical that I use 5 times a week, I'm a bit lazy and blessed with decent metabolism so I only do 25-30 minutes a day. I like it because it's less stress on my knees or ankles, and I have one that also works my arms with the moveable handles that another poster suggested earlier. I also like the suggestion that someone else made earlier, for step climbing, you really don't need any equipment, just find a tall building and walk the stairs.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

40 Posted: 4/1/2013 2:55:39 PM
^^^ Umm...that's rather rude and the OP wasn't rude in her O-Post, she's young and was simply asking a question. Answers like that kind of add to her point, yanno? Just saying. I don't think it's so much that folks are bitter necessarily, OP. Some are, some aren't, same as for any other query, really. I think it's like anything else in life though; how one handles setbacks or disappointments speaks volumes about one's overall attitude in life. I'm divorced and remarried as well, but never considered myself bitter. I guess I might have been if I'd had a brutal divorce, but fortunately both he and I were able to work things out such that we both "broke even" so to speak. And I was also (I think, lol) smart enough to realize that, when I filed for divorce due to infidelity, that was what ONE man had done to me, not every man. That helped me keep things in perspective, even though I was devastated at the time. I don't hate him, perhaps I contributed to the demise of the marriage in some way, who can tell since it wasn't something ever discussed. For a while I had regrets wondering if hindsight was 20/20 or if I could have changed anything, but I never felt hate nor beat myself up. I know good men, I've always known good men in my life by and large, so how one man hurt me wasn't going to change who I am at the core. That might sound a little Pollyanna-ish, but so be it. Personally, I'm guessing negative people were likely always negative, it just grows and snowballs with time and life experience. Like tends to attract like, so folks with negative attitudes attract same, and folks with positive attitudes do likewise. JMO.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 858 (view)

Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality? Posted: 3/31/2013 5:25:55 PM
Does this sound like azzhattery to you? No but, sadly, it doesn't sound like someone I would have dated, either. I might be a bytch, I might just not "believe"...regardless, it wouldn't be someone I would date, sorry. JMO

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 124 (view)

Would you date a man with a Vasectomy? Posted: 3/31/2013 4:38:20 PM
Would you date a man with a Vasectomy? At my age, if I was single and looking? I'd answer "EXCLUSIVELY", OP. It would be a selling feature for me. If I were 25-35 however? No, I wouldn't date a man who'd had a vasectomy. Actually, I wouldn't have wanted to date a man who already had children at those ages. I was never hell-bent to have kids, just figured one day I probably would...but if I'd met a man at those earlier ages who'd had a vasectomy, I'd want to know more, like why. If he never wanted to have kids, I'd take a pass. Yes, at 41 I have no children...but in my younger days, I'd at least have wanted the option to decide. JMO.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 837 (view)

Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality? Posted: 3/30/2013 5:49:57 PM
I'm going to be the bad guy here. I'm sorry but, what really is the differerence between "Borderline Personality" and someone just wanting a free pass to be an azzhole? Yes, yes, I'm sure it's a "clinical" description...just still waiting for the "in life" description? And why anyone should um...well, really care to date an azzhole? Sorry, just don't buy most of it. shrug

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 235 (view)

Men 40+ and Childless Posted: 3/30/2013 3:06:33 PM
I wanted but didnt have any kids but I like kids, it just didnt happen...cards I was dealt I guess. As a 41 year old woman, pretty much the same for me. Or I guess I should say, I was never one of those people who was hell-bent to have kids or whatever, I just always assumed one day I probably would. In the end, it never panned out, but no regrets, and I certainly wouldn't want to start now at 41 having children. So I really don't see why it would be that odd that anyone 40+, of either gender, doesn't already have children. It might not be the "norm" but, is it really odd enough to give it an official label of being ODD?

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 73 (view)

Bedtime rule Question for men Posted: 3/28/2013 2:41:19 PM
I'm in the camp that agrees there's likely a lot more going on here than meets the eye, I have to say OP. To be more specific, this "let's go to bed at the same time together" is likely a symptom bandaiding the real underlying issues in your marriage, IMO. Different work schedules can be hell, yes. But, if yours is pretty flexible then I have to ask, would it really kill you to finish your "fun" with your husband, then lie beside him for half an hour or an hour or whatever until he falls asleep, rather than bouncing out of bed immediately afterwards? (Sorry if that is incorrect, it was just the impression you gave in your previous posts). No, you shouldn't have to but, would it kill you to compromise a bit? Which also leads me into this.... ...like you, I am also married, have enjoyed the forums for years now. My hubby gets a hoot out of any posts I make or discussions I'm involved in but...once he gets home, I log off. Forums are a time-killer for me that I can really only indulge in for brief periods during the year, rest of the time work and life keep me too busy. But I would NEVER in a million years, EVER start a thread about my husband, or any issues or questions I had regarding our marriage, even IF we were facing any said circumstances. I'd communicate with him directly. So for that, this is why I'm saying IMO that your current situation is likely a mere bandaid covering up a larger problem in your marriage. I would NEVER disrespect my husband by starting a thread about him for anonymous strangers on the internet to contribute to like you have done; guess you and I are apples and oranges overall. (I won't even address the numerous other threads you have running at the moment, some equally embarrassing I'm sure for your husband however, I'd assume). Wow, is all I can say. So...remember, once you put it out there on the internet...yeah...expect to be judged by some, like me. It's only human nature after all. Taken in a lump sum combined....why not talk to your husband rather than venting here? Do you respect him? Do you even like him? Sorry but, I had to ask, considering. JMO.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 27 (view)

I Chose The Wrong Guy Posted: 3/23/2013 2:39:41 PM
'm not that full of myself to think that oh he picked someone else over me he's a jerk, screw him. So what, she picked the other guy and it didn't work out. That's why we date, not everything is some personal affront to you, you don't always need to be first in line, good people find good people very often after they've found the wrong good or bad people along the way. See, I would think stuff like that sounds great, and "what a good person the person saying that must be" and all that...but it wouldn't have been me. My ego would have been such that, I'm second choice?! Yeah, umm....I don't think I'd be too happy about receiving the consolation prize email. Go ahead and contact the fellow, by all means, OP. Just be prepared that he, too, might not be too happy being obviously second choice. I mean, really, would YOU be pleased about that? Just saying.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 44 (view)

Your last glass of wine Posted: 3/23/2013 2:16:01 PM
Do you think I just typed something into google and happen upon a documentary that was about the wine industry? shrug. History tends to repeat itself and it's what you usually do, unless you actually are an expert on every subject under the sun as you pretend? Otherwise why join a thread discussing favourite wine selections without actually contributing one's own favourite wine selection to the discussion? You really need to work on your insults, but either way, you stay classy I always aims to please so, will do. Back atcha. I thought of another favourite that I enjoyed in Canada, OP, but I can't seem to find here in the US. I'm not a big champagne person so this is a sparkling or Asti type wine I guess, a German one called Winzertanz. We always enjoyed that at our family Christmas dinners and other special occasions, I can't find it here in VA but, that was another that I really enjoyed. Again, not hellaciously expensive, just light enough that I quite enjoyed it.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 34 (view)

am i a rebound guy Posted: 3/23/2013 1:40:47 PM
Wow...guess I don't "get" it, OP. am i a rebound guy From what you've added now, it sounds like you're not a rebound guy, you're her pimp. Or did I read that incorrectly? She goes out for sex and monetary goodies from an older "friend" and, that's the unspoken deal that you and she have as being kosher?

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 52 (view)

Should I be upset? Posted: 3/23/2013 12:58:40 PM
Hmm...I can't say right or wrong if you "should" be, OP, but in thinking about it, I think I would be. Upset, that is. If I were dating/in a relationship with a relatively new man, and was put on the back burner for a weekend and not allowed to meet an old friend? I'd kind of wonder why as well. Mainly because, like others have said, if the situation were reversed I'd be making sure I included my new partner in any activities with old friends, so yes, I'd be upset that he wasn't reciprocating as he apparently isn't in this case. Any updates, have you discussed this with him at all yet?

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 50 (view)

is he lying to her Posted: 3/21/2013 2:23:13 PM
So, if I read this mess correctly, your friend thought her husband was cheating, so she went out and had a cheat/affair of her own? And is now wondering if she should do the same again? Or am I confusing the threads you had up? This thread is a hot mess. Who knows if the hubby cheated originally, but it was enough that your friend also did. And now she's wondering if she should again? Oy vey! Nobody here can help them, OP. Either they seek counselling and start being 100% HONEST with each other, which it sounds to me like neither is capable of, particularly your friend, or they end it now. What a freakin mess. If I had to hazard a guess, your friend's hubby is a mess, but your friend is a hot mess. They both should seek help, or cut ties before they fvck up the children any more than they already have. What a sad story.....

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

Your last glass of wine Posted: 3/21/2013 2:00:39 PM
^^^ Why are you always such a killjoy? Ever experience life, rather than google/copy/paste? Geez..... I don't drink much, OP, but when I do it's typically wine, can't do the hard stuff anymore. I was going to kid at first, if it were truly my "last glass of wine" aka facing the firing squad or whatnot, then "bucket of plonk would probably suffice", lol. I'm not a red drinker like you are, gives me an instant headache, but one that I currently like, not expensive and not fancy, is an Italian pinot grigio, Lumina. It's not so sweet as to be unbearable for me, it's not one I'd recommend to connoisseurs (sp?) but, I like it.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 26 (view)

Women judging you by the company you keep Posted: 3/21/2013 1:10:46 PM
Well, if you're "never giving up your friends for any female" anyway, OP, then what exactly is your question? Or what answer are you expecting, since your mind is already made up regardless? I found my mid-20s (aka, your age) to be a period of change for myself, personally. It was a time when I outgrew friends who seemed to prefer a "younger" lifestyle, kept some that I was still on the same wavelength with, and started making new friends as well who were more in tune with where I was at at that period in my life. By saying you've already made up your mind, well....your friends sound like juvenile frat boys to me so, I guess you'll have the best luck with women who are still stuck in that same sort of mentality, if that's the mentality of the company you choose to keep? Other than that, I got nothing. Yes, it's quite usual to judge, this is where the old adage "you're known by the company you keep" comes in. If you want to be taken seriously, then act seriously. I mean, think about it. If all your friends were, say, drug dealers...why would you assume a woman would expect you to be any different? Even if she did get to know you and find out you weren't...she'd still wonder WHY all your friends are drug dealers, why you chose to keep them in your life. So yes, to a large extent, it's very true.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

Is being a responsible adult unattractive? Posted: 3/21/2013 12:46:37 PM
Being a responsible adult, especially at your (and her, really) ages OP wouldn't be unattractive to me at all. It sounds like, while you and she are very close in chronological age, she's not at the same age in maturity to you. She's a bar-star who hangs out with 21 years olds, basically, and you're an adult who wants to live an adult life. I agree, you'll probably be better off finding someone who's closer to being at the same stage of life and maturity as you are; this one sounds like she has a few more years yet in the barfly life. Best of luck.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 29 (view)

Soo..I'm a gf, now what? Posted: 3/19/2013 3:52:33 PM
Well, despite the fuddy-duddies, I think this is a really cute thread, and what a cutie-pie the OP is! So neat to see such innocent enthusiasm and excitement, congratulations, OP. :) I think you should just relax, go with the flow, and have fun. There really are no "shoulds" or "should nots", or any "right" or "wrong" to even advise. Just relax, have fun, stay within your comfort levels, stay within your personal boundaries that, again, you feel comfortable with, and just have fun with your first real relationship. Don't get pushed into doing anything you don't feel comfortable with, just be yourself, be true to yourself, and see if the rest falls into place. I suppose the cynical (old fogie) side of me will also say "Don't get pregnant!" but, that's just me, lol. Enjoy, though! You're entering a world of "firsts" for you, just go with the flow, do what you feel comfortable with, and enjoy. Best of luck. :)

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 56 (view)

chemical imbalance Posted: 3/18/2013 1:21:58 PM
She kind of casually mentioned that she takes meds for a chemical imbalance, and that they increased her to "a really heavy dose". This is why I should probably change my username to bytchy-one. Sorry, can't help it but, I'm fairly certain that if I were on a first (or one of the first few) dates with a person and they "casually" mentioned this to me, I'd let them finish the story that this was part of but then point-blank ask "What was that part about your meds being increased to a heavy dose, can you please explain this chemical imbalance and what all it entails to me?" It's hard to make an informed decision without all the facts being presented beforehand, after all, and I think I'd want all, or at least a goodly portion, of those types of facts up front. Especially since the person in question managed to slip them into conversation, which I'd doubt happened accidentally. There's a whole gamut of responses that would be available to such a question, so I'd want the straight facts right off the bat were it me. JMO.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 63 (view)

Moving in together Posted: 3/18/2013 1:02:14 PM
Hmm...interesting dilemma, OP, and to those berating her or saying she's gold-digging or whatever, I didn't get that impression from any of her posts, she's just genuinely disappointed. Here's perhaps a new perspective or angle to approach this from, OP, for what it's worth. Let's remove the fact that you have no choice in moving from the equation. Yes, it still exists and yes, you'll have to handle that on its own. But if we set that aside for a moment...would this still have been close to the time period in your relationship where you would broach the idea of moving in together to this man? If the answer to that is "No", then, there you have it. If you wouldn't have broached the topic regardless then, it really ought to be more of a non-issue now. However, if it IS something you've been thinking about, and probably would have started discussing with him in the near future, then take his answer that he's given you and decide from there how you would have reacted to that information WITHOUT also have the other issue of HAVING to move looming over your head. What would have been your decision about the relationship in that set of circumstances? This will require you to be completely honest with yourself, of course, but from everything you've written so far it seems you have a good head on your shoulders so, maybe this different perspective will help you to gain a clearer grasp of the situation? Just an idea to try, at any rate. Best of luck.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Are some guys just too moody to date? Posted: 3/16/2013 1:54:05 PM
Well, we all can get in moods from time to time, OP, that's just a given. Bad day at work, dog just died, sick relative, whatever. Usually it passes however and isn't a perpetual state. Overall, though? I think like tends to attract like, so ergo, positive, happy people will gravitate towards other positive, happy people, and moody, downer people will attract other moody, downer people overall. So you're probably not too moody to date, OP, but if you're on a downer and pyssed off half the time, then it probably wouldn't be realistic to expect those who aren't to be on the same wave length with you for long enough to really stick around for dating long. At least, speaking for myself, I wouldn't spend much time with a gloomy gus; life's far too short. You're also not that many years off middle-age so have you figured out yet exactly why you're so moody all the time? If not then I hope you do, because if you've wasted the first half of your life being moody and a downer without trying to figure out why, it'd be a shame to waste the second half of your life continuing same, at least IMO. But yeah...a guy who was moody and gloomy gus all the time? I'd take a pass on dating. Just way too much of a project in my opinion at that point. I know me, it wouldn't take long before I'd be rolling my eyes, thinking "Oh gawd, AGAIN???" and telling the gloomy gus to "pull his frickin lip off the floor, fer krissakes." It sounds exhausting, to be honest, but that's JMO.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 46 (view)

Recipes for Skin and Hair Posted: 3/15/2013 4:32:25 PM
^^^ Fantastic, but do you have anything to add that's even remotely on topic to the discussion beyond google/copy/paste non-related things? Sweetness... The vinegar solution I use is very diluted, about 2 teaspoons per 2 cups of water, then rinsed very thoroughly. I've never smelled of vinegar, and I haven't had my BO buddy tell me I smelled either. (We tell each other if we smell bad haha) Ah okay, thanks for the tip! I wondered about that, because apple cider vinegar is quite potent so I wasn't sure how that would rinse out and not leave a smell. Does the vinegar strip the hair's natural oils though at all?

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 85 (view)

Second Date Put Off A Week Posted: 3/15/2013 4:27:09 PM
So he was interested and suggested a weekend date and that was not playing games. But she was busy and suggested the EXACT SAME THING yet she is playing games and not interested. Double standards? EXACTLY! Thank you!!! Now you are just making stuff up. It wasn't just a week, it was almost two weeks and nobody died. She said she was partying the friends the coming weekend so how about the following weekend. The very simple fact is that no matter how hard you women try to manufacture some excuse for her.. she wasn't all that hot and bothered about seeing him again. Well, really, when one thinks about it, the fact that someone used the phrase "you women" (or men, if that had happened to be the case) says more about one's own train of thought, really. As I said earlier, the forums are neat, they're a more accurate insight into different minds and viewpoints and all that. The woman in question actually said she had PLANS with friends already arranged. Okay sure, reasonable assumption that St Patrick's Day plans might mean partying but, AGAIN I will ask you....why wouldn't someone just ASK if they wanted an answer, rather than leaping to conclusions or making assumptions? And, again, why expect someone one has just met to put other plans on hold just to accomodate a new person's desire? Why make it more difficult than it needs to be, unless one is...well, overly needy and clingy and can't accept that gee, just perhaps someone already had plans lined up BEFORE one met the new person? This is what boggles me, why not just answer the question, but also, why go out of your way to make things more difficult than they need to be? Just freakin ASK! Yeah.. this is where I come to "stroke" my ego Well, that was just my assumption but er...assuming it was incorrect, that's awesome, you have date plans for the weekend and you're dance card is full? That's awesome! I take it we'll see you on Monday then? Best of luck!

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 82 (view)

Second Date Put Off A Week Posted: 3/15/2013 3:26:19 PM
It would be truly interesting to have this topic gender reversed. Every one of you women would be saying the exact same thing about the guy that I am saying about the women.. most of you are so full of crap. And...BAM, there it is! Lightning answer lol No, I'd guess that no matter the gender, it would only be the needy clingy folks who said the "exact same thing" you just said. While we ARE talking about someone that one is interested in, we're also talking about someone one just met and had a first date with. Someone that we have no idea what is going on their life really at that point. So, really, you'd be that pyssed off and take a pass on a woman who said "this needs to wait a week" without even taking into account real life? Like I said in my post, who the hell knows after one meet what's going on in someone's life. Maybe their mother just died, maybe someone is really sick, maybe they're facing a huge deadline at work...but you keep stomping your foot and all that. Oh, and before you "try" again...if you actually read the entire post rather than cherry-picked the one line that in some weird way evidently stroked your ego (go figure, lol)...I also did advise the OP to give the woman the benefit of the doubt but also carry on with his life and not sideline himself to wait. But, please do answer my question. Why wouldn't you just ASK the woman what the reason for the delay was?

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 80 (view)

Second Date Put Off A Week Posted: 3/15/2013 2:58:38 PM
So from this, I'm assuming you don't care if has his "needs" taken care of by other women while dating you before getting to the commitment stage with you. I know you didn't ask me but, I'll answer anyway. First, way to make one helluvan assumption between "first date" and "getting to the commitment stage". One date between a man and a woman and if she doesn't put out at the end of that date, the man isn't going to wait any longer to see if things progress and sex will follow a natural course and (gee, imagine this!) be put on the table, before rushing off to hop on top of someone else? Reaaaaal nice, but that's why I love these forums, true colours come out. To answer your question, however, I too wouldn't really give a rats azz where he was getting his 'somethin-something' at that point, if more than one date was evidently too long to wait; why does that automatically mean a woman is neglecting his "needs" right from the get-go? Oh wait, you meant sexual needs, how silly of me, so no need to answer in that case because I still wouldn't be going on a second date if a man absolutely couldn't wait any longer than the first to get his rocks off. I doubt I'd be shedding any tears for such a classy fellow either. I hate to say it, but there are women out there who are kind of asexual, they want a man to foot the bill, hold their hand, be on call, but they themselves really don't look at the man's needs, particularly as a sexual creature. Those are generally the women who kvetch about men. Then you have the self-centered hotties who dangle men on a string, using their sexuality like a biscuit 4 a dog. Why do women always have to be at opposite extremes in your posts? Why can't women simply want to go on a few dates with a nice man, and see what happens? And why do you always gravitate to a dog/biscuit or dog/bone metaphor when describing pretty women? Is everything mutually exclusive in your world? And yet, amazingly, by self-description you're the rarity who always falls smack-dab in the middle. If a woman doesn't want to meet for a week I wonder.. what's the delay? Too many dates this week to sort through already and I'm just not a huge priority? So much crap going on in her life that she really doesn't have any time for dating? Am I going to see her 4 times this month IF she is willing to fit me into her precious time schedule? Pffft.. game playing drama queens don't appeal to me. Life's too short. So, why not ask her what the delay is? Maybe she's got huge deadlines at work, a sick mother, a vacation planned....you know...LIFE that is outside of yours. You'll never know till you ask but why automatically assume? Not everyone lives as idle a life as, say, an accountant who has ample time to post 24/7 on forums despite what most would assume to be his busy time, yanno? Tantruming men who absolutely need an answer NOW or it ends up in a pout-fest, or men who simply cannot understand that they just might not be the centre of attention to a relative stranger, would be a bigger turnoff to me. I'd be thinking stage-1 clinger and way too frickin needy and drama-filled for my taste. OP seems to have disappeared so I guess we'll never know how things turned out now, but that would have been my advice, OP, just call her again, set something else up, and take it from there. Don't put your life on hold necessarily but why automatically assume the worst? Oh wait, that's right...OP was another who basically "didn't have time for this dating shyte".....

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 130 (view)

dating without motorcycle Posted: 3/12/2013 4:02:55 PM
Weird, I never would have really considered a man owning a motorcycle to be either a positive or a negative in my deciding whether or not I wanted to date them. Then again, when I think on it, I've probably only known maybe four men who actually did own motorcycles, but those were all friends, never anyone I dated. That makes sense though as some posters have said, if one enjoys "the lifestyle" then I guess it could be a drawback if a prospective partner didn't also share their enjoyment in such? For me, I'd have to answer that it probably wouldn't have bothered me if a man owned a motorcycle, but not if it were his only method of transportation. While I've always had my own car ever since I turned 16, and driving doesn't bother me, there are simply some places that if we went out I don't think I'd want to arrive with helmet-head or have to tailor my clothing to suit riding there on the back of his bike, nor would I want to have to drive for EVERY event like that, so probably I'd have preferred it if the man also had a car or truck.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 36 (view)

What do you say when a woman complains about other men on the site? Posted: 3/11/2013 1:49:24 PM
Well, I suppose you could either let her talk a bit and weed her out based on how positive or negative overall her attitude is, OP, or you could say "That's great but we haven't even met yet, how about you and I start with fresh minds about all of this?" or something like that. Or, you could also say "Yeah, I've found the same thing with most of the women on this site, and I really hope you're not like that too".

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

You don't look like your photos Posted: 3/9/2013 2:14:04 PM
How weird....I recall a thread of yours a while ago, OP, that I'd replied to, can't recall what the thread was about but I briefly glanced at your pics, noticed the Thanksgiving one of you in Departure Bay and commented on it, being a transplanted Nanaimo-ite myself. But for some reason I had it in my head that from your main pic back then, that you were blond. I see now that your profile lists you as being blond, but your new pictures don't reflect that. Face still looks the same though. So maybe that's what this girl meant? If I had it in my head just from a brief forum peek that you were blond, and I see now in reading your stats that you list yourself as blond but your new pictures show you with dark hair, maybe that was the difference she was commenting on?

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 55 (view)

Mommy issues Posted: 3/9/2013 1:11:33 PM
^^^ Oh geez...good catch! I figured there was probably more to this story than was actually being related! Do not under estimate the elderly mother. That might certainly be true but, probably not the norm I'm thinking. I'm still wondering if something's missing from this story because from what I've gleaned so far, OP and her man went for drinks and then dinner, an argument started over where to eat which escalated and was still ongoing even AFTER dinner that night, they arrived home and agreed she'd sleep in a different bed in his house and sort it out in the morning. Elderly parents showed up soon after, OP went into kitchen for a glass of water and to retrieve her overnight bag, and elderly mother called her a "drunken slut" because she "reminded her of the son's ex" and tried to wrestle her out of the house and threatened to call the police. Is that about the gist of it? There has to be more to the story unless mamma's just completely batshyte crazy, I mean were introductions even made? How did things escalate from "This is my new gf XYZ" to "Get out of my son's house you drunken slut?"???? How long have you even been seeing this man, OP? I'm guessing not long if this was the first time you'd met his parents?

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 43 (view)

No thank you? Posted: 3/9/2013 12:59:09 PM
It didn't sound to me like the OP was really that bothered that the woman didn't offer to pay. He did mention noticing it, yes, but it didn't sound like that part really bothered him, it was more the lack of "thank you" that did. Am I wrong to expect that someone be courteous these days? Nope, not at all, OP. I agree with you completely, what that woman did was very rude. And no, you're not wrong to expect courtesy in such a situation. I mean, how freakin hard is it to say "thank you"??? I'd be miffed as well. First time I might have chalked it up to nervousness or forgetfullness perhaps, but twice in a row? Sounds like a habit to me. Typically in the beginning of dating/relationships, best feet are being put forward and all that. If this is the best this woman's got, just imagine what she'd be like a year down the road, no? Heck, my hubby and I have been together 4+ years now and I still thank him every time he takes the trash out, or washes the dishes, and vice versa he thanks me if I make dinner or even for silly stuff like tidying the house. Little niceties and courtesies even for mundane things should never be forgotten, IMO.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

Mommy issues Posted: 3/9/2013 6:46:08 AM
I dunno, OP, is there more to this story than you're sharing? I mean, a woman in her 70s physically tried to throw you out of a house but you resisted? Were you still arguing with your boyfriend in front of his parents or something? I don't know many elderly ladies in their 70s who try to physically toss someone out of a house, after all. And why would it even reach that stage if your behaviour was a-okay? Something seems to be missing from this story, and obviously the argument must have continued in front of his parents, otherwise I doubt any altercation between you and her would have occured. So what's missing from this boozy recollection?

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

A Surprise Wedding? Posted: 3/8/2013 1:27:05 PM
C'mon...you really want to go with that? I'm not sure quite what that means, so it's hard to answer. Perhaps you can clarify; $20K total really isn't "large" for a full wedding scenario with all included so, why did it surprise you so much in an earlier post that you'd made? Unless we're talking Malbons and plastic roses? Obviously, yes, people can and do get married for much less....but given the info supplied from the OPost, it was implied that this was full-hyped-deal. Since you and I both live in VA Beach, why so surprising to you? I am "balking" at the notion that "friends" are spending that kind of money on a "surprise" affair for friends ... but you believe whatever you like. It ain't happening... Now, now, it's not polite to copy without giving credit. You hadn't said that previously, if you're going to copy my thoughts, at least give me credit, no?

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

A Surprise Wedding? Posted: 3/8/2013 1:07:42 PM
Really? OK, I've changed my mind on this. If my friends want to get together and spend 20K on me .. I'll go along. I don't give a fvk what it is. I'm down for it. You and I are both in the same city. You don't get out much, I take it? You'll notice I also added depending on how many guests are "secretly" invited. 10 guests? 100? If a venue is booked, even in VA Beach....money is already starting to add up so that implies more than a small party, no? It sounded from the O-Post like the friends were putting on full-wedding. Honeymoon package alone, probably at least $5K? It all adds up, so $20K doing full-wedding spiel really isn't that far off the mark. Again, OP, are you sure the "intended" couple aren't privvy to the inside scoop? Otherwise it makes no sense to me that friends would pay all that money not even being sure if it would end up being a done-deal or not. It's weird all-around, IMO, though.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

A Surprise Wedding? Posted: 3/8/2013 12:32:21 PM
a 'cheap' wedding can easily add up to $20,000 If these friends are paying for a venue, caterer, flowers, cake, honeymoon package and the whole nine yards, $20K wouldn't be far off the mark, depending on how many guests they're secretly inviting? But that makes no sense; why would they shell out all that money, not even knowing if the couple in question would even agree to show up on the secretly-arranged date? What if one or the other of them falls ill, or life happens and they simply aren't able to make it? The whole thing sounds extremely weird to me as well, OP. Are you sure that the people planning this don't also have the couple in question's nudge-nudge/wink-wink blessing to do so? If you're sure that isn't the case, I'd probably avoid it too. Crazy; I mean, who thinks this is a happy surprise, let alone not being weird as hell? If the couple in question wanted to get married then I'm sure they would have by now. City Hall only costs, what, $30?

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 37 (view)

Question for the ladies... Posted: 3/8/2013 11:22:24 AM
It has got to be the big bang theory Now that's funneeeee. OP, I'm not really sure what your question is, because it doesn't sound to me like anything's really changed. Right from the start you were the initiator for everything, making all the calls/texts, making the plans, etc. So why are you expecting her to change now? She's just maintaining the status quo and probably would continue to do so for another five days if you didn't once again call her. It is what it is, apparently, but it doesn't really strike me that anything's "going on" particularly. At least nothing different than has been going on all this time to date with her. If you're refraining from calling hoping that she'll step up to the plate, well....doesn't seem like she's interested in doing so, so who knows, perhaps she's not that interested overall. Hard to say. Doesn't strike me as being anything nefarious or even really worth figuring out to any great extent though. If you like her, simply call her again and make plans, and perhaps then you can discuss your desire for her to initiate more and then maybe you'll get the answer straight from the horse's mouth.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 463 (view)

If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date... Posted: 3/8/2013 3:36:56 AM
OMG Pot/Kettle anyone I liked some of your posts a year ago even the ones I didn't agree with. But lately you've degenerated into Flaming, Baiting, and hating, at least in the ones I've read. I don't know what happened, maybe you get off on it, someway. If you are referring to me, then I hardly think that is fair. I haven't name-called once in this thread so where does the pot/kettle correlation enter this? Well, ofc I mean in moderation. Like, not ALWAYS go to taco bell when you have a coupon, but while you're sitting there trying to decide what to eat, it's an idea to put out there. Same idea as going to buy something at a specific store because it's on sale. Agreed. If someone has coupons or one of those coupon books and tosses out a few suggestions based on those, so long as they're places/activities I'd want to go to (ie--with allergies I'm never going to use a coupon for sushi, for example) then I see no problem with that. Taco Bell is still out though, lol. Especially the really good coupons....any of you boys have coupons for LeVian that you want to share?

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 446 (view)

If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date... Posted: 3/7/2013 1:21:19 PM
The thing about insisting on Taco Bell because he has a coupon, there's a middle ground to that. If you have a good coupon, why not use it? It doesn't have to be a big date or anything, maybe just stop on the way to do something else. If you're gonna eat out anyway, why not make sure to use it at some point in time before it goes bad? Well, see, that's where I'd draw the line, using a coupon just for the sake of using a coupon. Heck, I get enough of those during my weekly grocery shop, and half of those coupons are for frozen or processed items I don't eat, so I'd never use them just because I have a coupon for them. I said earlier that that would be a deal-breaker for me and yeah, Taco Bell would be one of those deal-breakers; TB is disgusting. Maybe it depends on one's definition of what a "good" coupon is? But no, I don't believe in using coupons just for coupon-expiration-date's sake.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 441 (view)

If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date... Posted: 3/7/2013 11:46:05 AM
Why does everything have to degenerate to name-calling like this just because (gee! novel idea!) others might have differing opinions? Check comes, he nonchalantly place a coupon in there with his card, in front of you. Does everything comes crumbling down, just because that piece of paper? I know you said it never happened to you, but I am asking what if it would? I can't answer for fleuron but, the OP in the very first post was talking about showing the coupon in front of his date (or at least, he said something like "pulls out a coupon in front of you"). Now, that wouldn't bother me but, again, if it was a "look at me, I'm da man" or EVERYTHING had to be nickel-and-dimed, then yeah, that would be a bit off-putting. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for saving money; but if it ends up heading towards clipping every 5-cent-off coupon, or insisting on Taco Bell simply because one has a coupon, or if someone considers coupon-strategy to be a major part of their retirement plan, then yeah, that would be a little weird. Discretely using a coupon wouldn't bother me in the least though. Off topic a bit but I hope not: Help an old gal out, what is this "QFT" that everyone keeps using in this thread?

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 47 (view)

Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women??? Posted: 3/5/2013 2:01:23 PM
Well, OP, if your friend is "celebrity" enough to be on Dancing with the Stars then, why ask for sympathy here? Celebrities know what they're getting into, even the more minor celebrities such as those who go on those types of shows so, sorry but, that kind of goes with the territory. Male or female celebrities. For the rest, you've been on the site for 2 years now according to your profile, so 3 negative emails over the course of two years, is that really so bad? I don't think I've ever received emails when my profile was open and I was single quite like what you describe, but if I had I'd have long ago forgotten them so it's possible that I did. But why are you focusing on three over a two year period that you received? Shouldn't they have been like a flea on your arm by now, in one ear and out the other? Sorry if that sounds harsh, chalk it up to a pet peeve of mine being grown adults who use the word "mean" to describe others. Male or female. It just sounds so juvenile to me, like 10 year olds on a playground saying "Johnny/Sally was mean to me today" or something.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 99 (view)

Dating multiple people, to tell or not to tell Posted: 3/5/2013 1:23:56 PM
You know how people don't necessarily want you but don't want you with anyone else either because they cannot take the feeling of rejection it gives them, or they are test driving others while keeping you on a string, one or both of those is what's going on. Both times he and I started this, she found out and came back. The first time I think she used him to get her car fixed, the second I think just because she found out about us again from one of her friends that saw us together. It's human nature for some people to do that, some let go easy, others not so much. Okay I'm sorry but what a load of hog-frickin-wash. You're trying to make his ex out to be "crazy bytch lady" when you've always been on the outside-looking-in to that relationship. Hell, why you didn't ditch his azz when you saw his and her vehicles at a motel is beyond me, but now you're making excuses for this "poor belaboured man" with his crazy ex which is even crazier IMO. Whoopdee-frickin-doo, he'd broken up with her for a whole two weeks when you pounced. Then you caught him in a lie and possibly cheating, and you're still defending the man? And do you not even realize the irony yet of the "you know when people don't want you but don't want you to be with anyone else" scenario that you outlined above in reference to his ex, also applies to this man??? Maybe he's the one who doesn't want HER to be with anyone else...or did you not think of that? Sorry but, you're too old for this nonsense, you were the rebound gal and you're probably already aware of that even if you don't want to admit it. If this man is/was meeting his ex at a motel and spending the night there, what more do you need? Get the facts straight before you rip into me. You appear to be a very negative and bitter woman.... wow You've already outlined the facts, at least your version of them, which is what most of the posters are replying to. Am I negative and bitter as well, because I'd have ditched this guy's azz the minute I saw his truck parked at a motel overnight with his ex? Stop making excuses for him. And stop making excuses for yourself. You knew he wasn't over his ex but you still pounced; now he's shown you what he is so....how many more times do you want to bang your head off the wall before you get it? I don't know about you but, my head would be freakin sore from that by now.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

Why do men want to sit at home instead of going on dates? Posted: 3/5/2013 12:58:32 PM
Personally, I tend to think "home dates" are more for after a few-several dates out in the "real world" have already transpired. Especially if you're speaking of dates from the internet, OP. One first meet does not mean you know the man and vice versa, so I'd be very leery of going to a stranger's house for a first date. Anybody can be anyone they want over a quick half hour coffee, after all. In general, though, sorry but, men that would insist on "house dates" that consisted of eating and watching tv right off the bat as the first few dates, I'd be thinking "Gee, guess it can only go downhill from here, right?" The line about "wanting to wait for a few dates to actually leave the house" is laughable IMO. Out of curiousity, when these men suggest coming over to your/their house for date # 1 or 2, what do you say? Why not just dissuade them of that idea and suggest an alternative that involves neither of your houses? If they turn you down because of that then at least you've sussed them out early on, which is always a good thing. But if you agree to the first few dates being at one of your houses, you can't really expect much to change after that. "Start as you mean to end", as my canny gran always said.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 60 (view)

what does a woman have to do to let a man know she is intetested Posted: 3/1/2013 2:35:43 PM
I have to admit, I'm quite confused here OP, so maybe it would help if some things were clarified? You said you've dated him a few times and had a lot of fun, and you've kissed, but that he tends to only give you one or two word answers/conversation. What sorts of activities are you two doing on these dates? I ask because, I'm struggling to see how they could be so much fun if gaining conversation from this man was like pulling teeth? (I'd consider one or two word answers to be struggling for conversation or like pulling teeth at least). At first read, I was going to say it doesn't sound like he's very interested to me overall. Usually (at least in my experience) when men are interested in a woman, they say what they mean and mean what they say, and move heaven and earth if need be to spend time with that woman. Now you mention him putting you up in a hotel; why was that? Does he live far from you, or did something happen to your house or wherever you live that you had to stay at a hotel? You also said you're typically the "breadwinner" so I'm asking about the hotel, why he put you up in one if you were able to do so on your own. It's rather confusing because, it still doesn't really sound to me like the man is overly interested, or at least what I'd consider to be overly interested, but where does the hotel come into it? If you wouldn't mind starting from the start, how many dates, what type of dates, and...well a little more information, really? It's really hard to answer, otherwise.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

Age of Consent for Sex vs Age to consent to marriage.. Posted: 2/28/2013 10:33:27 AM
People want most whatever's forbidden them. If the age of sexual consent was 21, those who're 18 would be lusted after just as now those under 18 are lusted after. WTF?! Okay I'm sorry but what in the HELL is that supposed to mean? Most people I know don't lust after underage children so perhaps it would be best not to speak for others here, because I can't see in any way how the "want what we can't have" rule is even remotely transferrable in such a situation Gawd. I think bigbadirish is probably closest in his explanation of the 'logic' behind the disparaties in "Ages of", and his explanation actually makes a weird sort of sense, at least in 'legalese'. And I just realized, this is an 8 year old thread that was revived on msg 8.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

what are signs someone could be a dbag and why? Posted: 2/26/2013 2:22:55 PM
I take it a d-bag is a douchebag? (Sorry, it's not a word I think I've ever said aloud; I prefer just to call em azzholes, lol). If so, I guess I'd say the biggest sign would be that they're generally always the loudest, look at meeee! look at meeeee! people in the room. Bragging, posturing, needing constant attention. And usually proud to be labelled "players" or "pick up artists" and the like. Can't resist calling attention to themselves and their "success", be it in the business world, dating world, whatever. Also typically very insecure overall, in my opinion and experience.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 391 (view)

Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.? Posted: 2/26/2013 1:16:32 PM
So ladies, quit avoiding an answer and tell us what it is. Well, I think that's rather the crux of the matter right there. Ask 100 ladies and you'll likely get 100 different answers. Or as was stated before, we're not cutout paper dolls with a cookie cutter answer one-size-fits-all. I don't think men are expected to be mind-readers, though; at least, I don't expect them to be. To answer your question, however, for myself at least, romance falls me for under three basic C's; courtesy, consideration and caring. Probably sounds overly simple, and it really is. Especially as things progress, the longer a relationship goes, often it can be easy to take the other partner for granted, or forget the little niceties and considerations. (This isn't gender-specific either, btw). It can be something as simple as remembering how the man likes his steak cooked, to remembering to thank him for taking out the trash, or holding open the car door. Or for the man to thank the woman for making dinner, or remembering that she likes her coffee with cream but not sugar. Those are just examples but I hope you get what I mean, just little niceties and courtesies that if one pays attention, and makes the effort not to take the other for granted, go a long way. But that is just me. For some, romance and courtship might be more keyed towards Ruth's Chris dinners while others would prefer the coziness of grilling steaks on the back patio with their partner. Or black tie affairs vs cuddling and watching a good movie. I don't think anyone, at least I certainly never did, expects a man to be a mind-reader though, or know what each woman considers to be "romantic" right off the bat though. Or else I'm just a simpler creature than many, who knows. My husband and I went dancing last Saturday night after dinner and a couple of glasses of wine....dinner was at home and we went dancing around the living room. I thought it was romantic, and he seemed to enjoy himself, although many others wouldn't find that appealing at all. For the rest of the thread, now there are secret POF conspiracies and admin is paying folks to post? If that's the case, I want a raise, dammit. Don't worry, I'd be generous with it; tinfoil hats for everyone.

sweetness-one

Joined: 10/17/2005

Msg: 358 (view)

If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date... Posted: 2/25/2013 1:43:23 PM
What a weird twist the thread has taken. A select few are talking about another poster and "bashing behind one's back but still in front of one's face"??? Weird. And get a freakin room already, y'all, azz licking should be done in private don't ya think?. I'm still a bit curious, since only one (I think? maybe two?) posters have replied to my question of how exactly the coupon is handled when "bill/coupon time" arises. One poster mentioned discreetly slipping it into the billfold the waitress set on the table, along with cash/card to pay the balance. I'd think that would be the best route to go. But I'm still curious what the "Herb Tarleks" of the coupon world would do, would it be handled discreetly as described above, or ballyhoo'd to all and sundry that "I HAVE A COUPON, I'M DA MAN!!!" (or woman)? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for saving money, and already stated that the coupon thing wouldn't really bother me. But from reading how vehement some in the thread so staunchly defend their "couponing"...how far do some take it? Because unless one is displaying it or being less-than-discreet...how does the other party even know a coupon is being used in the first place?

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