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classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 262 (view)

Why would you lie about your age? Posted: 9/7/2009 8:40:11 PM
For the purposes of Online dating or meeting, perhaps age should be optional, but current (within 6 months) photos, full length & shoulders up, should be mandatory! My age limits are such that I don't want to date my children's friends or my parents' friends. Attitude is more important than actual age, but I would prefer to be of the same generation, so we have some things in common. When I was younger, my business was selling knowledge. Because I looked so youthful, many thought I couldn't possibly know what they were paying me to do. Youthful appearance then was NOT an asset. I even had problems being permitted to sign to have my children treated in the emergency room for their sports injuries. Try going beyond looks.

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail? Posted: 9/7/2009 7:13:12 PM
I've "favorited" someone as a little bookmark to refer back to later, because their profile was of interest to me. Since I was raised to allow the man the first move, I rarely email the person, but always reply if contacted. However, men must think differently, as I am on many "favorites" lists, but have never been contacted by 90%. If my thinking is wrong on this, please let me know, as I will respond if considered the proper thing to do.

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 104 (view)

Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that? Posted: 6/8/2009 10:29:27 AM
Mike, Just a thought. You can exercise while traveling, even seated. You can use muscles all over your body while driving or when stopping. Recently, I traveled by buses over a short period of time. One thing I noticed about all the drivers was their physical shape. Each was male, my guess in their 50's, with well defined muscles in their arms & legs & none I would describe as over weight. Not the typical bus drivers I saw as a child. Perhaps their company offers a gym to use. That crossed my mind. I exercise when traveling, even in a plane. Your health should be your most important consideration. Improved body image is the bonus for good care. Perhaps your snack diet needs improvement. Your profile is interesting. Some ladies might think you have too much hair. Others may love it. I find a person with a body that's been well cared for indicates that person takes good care of other things in their life. I'm not talking about body builders, just average people. Good luck.

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 148 (view)

How do you make yourself be attracted to the unattractive? Posted: 6/3/2009 9:02:34 PM
OP- Since you make it clear you are asking for advice, it's too bad others don't offer some rather than be critical. You should be more patient & instead of waiting for someone to email you, trying looking around yourself. You have another 60 years to find the one who clicks with your desires. You could also have a hormone problem or imbalance. Try to broaden your interests & explore other options or you could do some research about the subject at the library or on the Net, as this has been discussed on some talk shows recently. Try meeting some of those you see, as not everyone looks like their photos. Some people just don't take good photos & some are outdated. You shouldn't get worried right away. Take your time & enjoy your search. Good luck.

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Help w/ Current Situation Posted: 2/14/2009 5:53:32 PM
You have a very nice profile. Think you probably really know what to do. Go with your instinct. When paying for your coffee & making small talk, ask her if she'd like to have lunch with you on her day off? Be specific. For example, "Would you like to have lunch with me on Saturday? We could go to Bob Evans." Be prepared to give her your "card" (or your name & number ) & ask for hers? Or you could say, "My name is Chuck, what is yours? Could we trade phone numbers, so I may call you for lunch on Saturday?" Worst that could happen is a "No." She could have a boy friend already & may tell you. If she's as nice as you think, she may say yes or ask you for a rain check, in case she is commited that day. She will decline politely. Be prepared with a back up plan, so you can offer her a rain check or another date. If she's not the nice gal you think, you may know that sooner than you think. Don't give up. People need to decline invitations for many reasons, even when they want to say "YES!" If she's got the boy friend already, tell her you think he's a lucky guy & that maybe you'll ask her again some time. Next month, you can go in & ask her if she still has that boy friend?? Good luck.

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 102 (view)

What is it with women judging other women so harshly? Posted: 1/24/2009 6:41:53 PM
I have no sisters, but have quite a few girl friends I consider closer than a sister. My experience on here, though limited, has been nice. All the gals I've spoken with have been friendly, helpful, nurturing, & pleasant. I've learned more reading the Forums than in 40 plus years of marriage. I would enjoy a friendship with all, if we lived closer to each other. Jealousy is such a waste of time. Would you really want to trade places with anyone? I 'd prefer to lend a shoulder, a smile, & reassuring word.

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

profile critique, please Posted: 1/22/2009 7:38:46 AM
Rerun City is open for business. Please have a second look & share your comments for improvement. Everyone has been very helpful. Thank you for your time. Good luck to all. C L

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 129 (view)

Do you suffer from feeling out of their league? Posted: 1/21/2009 7:23:03 PM
If you can dream it, you can do it! Don’t allow others to set your goals or run your life. You need please only yourself. We no longer live by the “caste” or “serf” community. Open yourselves to others. Get to know them & be more tolerant. How do you know what’s in a person’s heart by reading a profile or an email? What if they don’t feel comfortable opening up to a stranger or may not know how? Maybe they don’t express themselves well on the page. They may not be your perfect match, but could turn out to be your best friend. Each of us is UNIQUE. That’s the beauty of it. What if everyone was the same color, same size, same tastes, same brain, same thoughts, same income, same knowledge, etc.? All cloned alike. You get the picture. We’d all be bored stiff! If all of us gals only liked guys with bare chests & all of you guys are hairy, what would our lives be? What if 90% only liked blue eyes, but 99% had brown eyes? If we all had white Mustangs convertibles, we’d be LOST! We may be just learning, but a quick study. Compromise. Assets do not make a person “rich” or “classy.” You cannot change others, only yourself. You can’t BUY friendship or love. Those of you, who think you are “beneath” the person you are interested in, contact them anyway. The worst that can happen is ---- “no thanks.” Before you do that, make a list on paper of all you think is good in you. List your talents, what you are grateful for each day. Just try one per day. You will surprise yourself. Read it every morning & every night. If you think you have too many faults, try to improve them—one per day. Ask some friends to describe you in 3 words. You will be amazed. NEVER put yourself down! If someone else does, you wouldn’t want them anyway. None of us is born knowing it all! Good luck fishing!

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 333 (view)

rude emails that spoil your POF experience Posted: 1/21/2009 11:53:33 AM
After reading these posts, I can think of only 1 rude man who emailed. Can't imagine why anyone would waste their time doing such things. I tried to be polite to the guy & explained nicely that we were not a match. (I had emailed to ask a question, which he answered nicely, but then proceeded to pursue me.) I made it clear I was NOT interested. Period. (It was a case of mistaken identity. I thought he was a former classmate.) He let me know I was too old for many men to be interested in me now, but HE would rescue me. I have had 2 very rude experiences, which I hope never to repeat. They were each extremely rude to all wait staff. Blocked one from further contact. No problem since. That delete button can come in handy. No need to be rude in reply. I reply to everyone politely. Good luck fishing!!

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

When do I say I have had cancer or do I? Posted: 1/21/2009 10:58:37 AM
I would bet that there are very few of us who have not been affected by cancer, either personally, or within our family or friend circles. I don’t think medical records need to be discussed with strangers, especially before meeting in person. However, if it comes up in conversation, it could be discussed at that time, or wait for a time when there seems to be some type of mutual attraction that could go further. Some people will cheer you on & some can’t handle any type of illness. Best you know where you stand BEFORE breaking your heart. My best wishes for continued good health & good luck fishing!

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

profile critique, please Posted: 1/18/2009 8:19:56 AM
Thanks for the help, everyone. Have I followed all of the instructions?? Somehow, I've lost the humor I had wanted.

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

profile critique, please Posted: 1/16/2009 11:14:44 PM
I have also adjusted my email settings for any of you young ones who wish to comment, as I will accept your email suggestions. Thanks for the help.

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

profile critique, please Posted: 1/16/2009 11:02:02 PM
I really do wish everyone luck. I am certainly not desperate or needy, but do like to share. This is a difficult thing for me to do. Hate being on display. I'm a very private person & rather shy until I get comfortable. I appreciate your comments & good wishes. Thank you.

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

profile critique, please Posted: 1/16/2009 7:40:40 PM
I tried emailing you, but would not go through due to your settings. Hope I've cleaned house properly. Is it typical that many would view & not comment. Really dislike being on parade? Thanks for your help.

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

profile critique, please Posted: 1/16/2009 12:31:53 PM
I haven't a clue how to do this, so please help me out. I don't enjoy, nor do I have interest in someone's profile that tells me nothing. I also don't know what about me to share before meeting. When I am contacted & ask for someone to tell me more about themselves, I rarely hear anything back. Have I gone too far here? I can handle & would appreciate constructive criticism. Thank you for the help.

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 73 (view)

too many photos of their late spouse? Posted: 1/3/2009 1:24:23 PM
I have a little experience witnessing something like this. My parents were very much in love. When Mom passed away, Dad didn't remove anything of hers. It wasn't in the way, & he wasn't ready to part with anything. He asked me a few times to help him sort through, but whenever I offered, he changed his mind. No big deal. Several years later, he met a widow, who was at the house quite frequently. They became very close, but did not marry. I don't recall her ever objecting to Mom's portrait hanging on the living room wall or any of the albums of photos of the rest of the family or any of her "things" laying around. She was a delight, & I believe, added to my Father's longevity & quality of life. I would welcome a widower, who had truly loved his wife. Photos of her anywhere would never intimidate me. She was a very real part of his life & if she contributed to the man is is today, making him a loving person, you should thank her. How can a deceased person's photo do you any harm? If he has chosen you, you should be thrilled, because it would mean you ARE the chosen one. You cannot replace a loved one. You can only add to the quality of life you share in the future. If your S/O had lost a child or a pet or a parent, you could not replace any of those with those of your own. I would also respect those photos for any of his children visiting. I might want to add some of my own & would expect the same respect. Now if the home is PLASTERED in photos, to an extreme, that would be different. Forget the past & look to your future together. I'd rather have a widower who loved his spouse than be with an abusive someone's former EX. Look for the good. Don't sweat the small stuff & remember, it's ALL small stuff.

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 726 (view)

Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 1/1/2009 2:30:43 PM
I agree that bringing similar assets or income to a LTR or marriage is probably the best arrangement, but I'll bet it doesn't happen often. I'm not really experienced in the current dating scene, but I can remember when I was in high school & college. Back then we had an A & W Drive-in, where most dates started. They had a "Baby Burger" on the menu, which I think was a nickel at the time. That's what I always ordered, because I knew I would not want to embarrass my date, nor break his bank account. It was the perfect size for me & would still be, with a small root beer & a couple of sweet pickles, I was comfortable. Today, I almost always order an appetizer, as a meal, as it is just the right size & is usually affordable for anyone. I have never asked a friend, a date, or even a stranger their income, the value of their home, or the age of their car, as I wouldn't know a 1990 from a 2009. I don't wish to move backward in my life style, although downsizing would not bother me much. I drive my cars until they quit. I DO ask about family, if they have enjoyed their jobs or miss them, etc. I would really like to find someone who is close with their family, loved their spouse, mainly to see how the get along with others & have interests (hobbies) they enjoy outside of a relationship. I don't drink & don't run up a food bill & would never order something more expensive than my date. I don't expect to be wined & dined without reciprocation either. I married a man without a formal education or a job & a bit in debt. That doesn't mean you are not intelligent or are lazy. You can go to school at any age & sometimes street smarts & common sense work out better. I look at how a person treats others, including his family, how he treats me, wait staff, contact with his friends, condition of his personal belongings, his personal appearance, if he lives in the current world, his use of language, (mainly profanity), most of all ----his smile & how often he smiles. Most disabilities OK too. (We all have disabilities.) It's really how he opens his heart to others. He need be handsome only in MY eyes. Money?? Just enough to survive is fine with me. I can't think of much I own with a designer label. If so, it was by accident. I dress for comfort & uniqueness. I'm easy to please, but difficult to impress. Fishing anyone?? Happy New Year!

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Haven't dated in a good 30+ years Posted: 1/1/2009 11:39:24 AM
I like Breath's reply. Nice humor. I think your profile is pretty up front. Think he may have been testing the waters. I have not dated in more than 45 years, so no expert here. But I would agree you should go at your own comfort level. I feel if the guy really has any interest in me, he will respect my boundaries. Those who don't, I shall run from. At least, he opened up, so there could be communication. I would have joked with him a bit & expressed my preferences about waiting. Then his next response might tell you if you will feel comfortable trying another meeting. I have already declined some invitations from "pushy" fish, who did initially appeal to me. I can't bring myself to meet someone who has nearly nothing in his profile & uses 5 short sentences to describe himself to me in a single email & then wants to meet me. For example; (3 grown kids living in another place.) I may be missing someone great, but I politely explain I prefer knowing a bit more & communicating some before meeting & give them an opportunity to continue. I spoke to one man recently, after a few emails & photo exchanges. We talked at length & I felt comfortable talking to him & replied to whatever he asked. Said he'd call me again, after his family left from their visit, even said he was going to check something out for me for additional information for a repair I needed in my home. Nothing since. Think that was my initiation to the "players" forum. I wish you luck. You seem like you know what you want, so wait it out. Your gut reaction is usually a good one to watch. I like to move slowly & when am pushed too quickly, I run. Happy New Year!

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 199 (view)

Average or a Few Extra Pounds? Posted: 1/1/2009 10:52:25 AM
I always thought "few" meant 3, which is more than "a couple." "Many" is more than a "few." I used to describe myself as being average, until several friends pointed out to me, what you all also seem to agree, is "average," meaning average poundage per person here----- Not "average" as defined by any medical definition. I then went to the dictionary for a definition. Here is what I found: FEW Synonyms: not many, scarcely any, hardly any, less, sparse, scant, scanty, thin, scattered, straggling, widely spaced, inconsiderable, negligible, infrequent, sporadic, not too many, a few, a couple of, a small number of, some, any, scarce, rare, seldom, few and far between, in the minority; see also rare 2, several 1. Antonyms many, numerous, innumerable. FEW Synonyms: FEW not many, a small number, a handful, scarcely any, hardly any, not so many as one might expect, not too many, several, some, a scattering, a number that can be counted on one's fingers, three or four, a couple, a sprinkling, a smattering, a minority. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I now prefer the term for me to be "slender," but that is not an option. I like to see a full length photo, as I am a small gal & feel very over-powered by a really large man, muscles or not. I have friends of all sizes & even purchased special furniture for my large friends, but that would not be my choice for a LTR. I rarely weigh over 100#. When someone is more than 10% over their recommended healthy weight, I see that as more than a "few." My suggested healthy weight is 127#. If I get to even 105#, I am uncomfortable, have trouble breathing & can't tie my shoes. I do not watch my weight & have never dieted. The high sodium content in the tap water here is enough to add weight to you. I learned the hard way, as do love the tap water up north. You are only fooling yourself & possibly hampering your health, if you have convinced yourself that a "few" means "average." Life is way too precious not to take care of your body. Happy New Year!!!

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Is there Passion after 40? Posted: 12/30/2008 5:21:53 PM
Passion after 40? I'm so sorry you found the need to ask that question. Passion after 60 is ecstasy. All you need is the right combination---persons, touch, atmosphere, longing, love, caring. I could go on & on with various combinations. Whatever it is that works between the 2 of you. Then put yourself into enjoying it, as that passes on to your partner. It multiplies itself. Should work at any age. Enjoy!

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 295 (view)

What do men 60 plus want? Posted: 12/27/2008 9:05:03 PM
Rusty & the others-- I hope I didn't give the impression I am not willing to give up some of my current life style for a new partner. I really meant to say I'm not sitting home alone with nothing to do. I enjoy my current life enough to offer to share it with a partner, who I believe would also enjoy it in combination with theirs. I would not be sitting home sulking while he wants to go with the guys, or work part time, or volunteer somewhere or go to his poker game. I don't have any plans to change anyone. I am certainly willing to give up most of my activities to gain a partner. Many things are just MORE enjoyable with someone else. I am willing to relocate. I make friends easily & volunteers are needed everywhere. The property I own can be sold, & I have no particular sentimental attachment to any of it. Some guys think because you keep yourself busy that you have no time for them. Why should I sit home bored when there are so many fun things to do somewhere else. If someone wants to do something together, I simply make plans to do it with them. It seems you're just supposed to sit home & wait for them to call or email instead of exercising your brain or your body. The person who mentioned assumption or ASSumption seems to be on target. It also seems to be assumed that older women expect to be catered to, wined & dined. I probably reciprocate at least 40% of the time, if the opportunity presents, such as a second date, and always offer to go Dutch, and frequently invite when I can pay the way. I have never asked anyone what their income is. I don't care, as I live within my means. I don't get it. That's why I'm here--to learn.

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 274 (view)

What do men 60 plus want? Posted: 12/27/2008 7:59:39 AM
Gee, sounds like a plan to me. I'd like to keep my own life style as well. He can have all day for golf & watching his games or whatever he prefers. I enjoy a job, my volunteer activities, doing things with my girl friends once in awhile, a few board meetings, an afternoon of Bridge, cooking, cleaning and whatever, without having someone monitor my every move. I enjoy doing some projects without being told I'm doing it the wrong way, as my husband would push me aside & take over. I used to wait to do those things until one of his golfing jaunts. Complete everything while he was gone, & all was great! I don't mind being helped, but not shoved aside. I learned from my failures too. Sometimes even created a winner with my experimenting. I'm not looking to take a prisoner. I'm hoping to enhance a partnership.

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 260 (view)

What do men 60 plus want? Posted: 12/25/2008 12:04:55 AM
Cashe101: Gaddflye: But you forgot the boat, the Harley, & the spelling test! Joking aside: You kept to the subject matter, which seems to get lost in here while we enjoy our daily humor.

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 259 (view)

What do men 60 plus want? Posted: 12/24/2008 11:52:52 PM
OzarkHermit: Agree with your comments, except for the menopause problems. I have plenty of desire, enjoy sex, but not on the third date, even when you start the foreplay the morning of the day before. I'm well over 60. It's not a joke or a thing to be toyed with in my mind. Too much going around these days to play games. It should be cherished between 2 people in commitment to each other, with love. Otherwise, it's a roll in the hay or a trade off for dinner?? No thanks. I'm worth more than a night on the town I can afford to pay for myself .

classy ladee

Joined: 9/22/2008

Msg: 258 (view)

What do men 60 plus want? Posted: 12/24/2008 11:18:56 PM
Mr pluger60, Just curious-- When was the last time you invited a 60 + gal to join you for any event? Since you don't patronize bars, just as many of us don't, where DO you go to meet the ladies?

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