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Thread: Success yielding failure in online dating

Joined: 10/25/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Success yielding failure in online dating Posted: 3/22/2008 7:26:17 AM
Actually both(in reference to Mz. Taken's question). But there's that other issue about the mentally created images/expectations that go hand in hand with an APPARENTLY great cyber connection that one forges with another. You see that can't seemingly help but create the belief that one has found the "right" person for oneself. But once you finally meet then all that glittered.......................... It's rather funny but in spite of my own years of effort to abolish my mind's influence (via meditation for one), I STILL fall "victim" to the mischievous machinnations of my own mind(at least where online dating's concerned). Hence this article and perhaps with it the righteous end to my mind's seductive sabotage!

Joined: 10/25/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Success yielding failure in online dating Posted: 3/21/2008 10:44:27 PM
Granted there are the occasional(or maybe not so occasional)success stories we read about in the "virtual" world of online dating. However, based on my long term experience with this, I've come to understand the paradox of "success yielding failure" as I entitled this thread. And it speaks volumes about the mind's perception in all this. When one creates a seemingly perfect profile and it's then perceived quite favorably by someone else, there's an inevitably positive exchange occurring. The positive reaction to someone else's pic accompanied by an "apparently" positive verbal exchange that transpires can't help but lead to the solid perception that one more likely than not has found a suitable prospect for oneself, yes? The problem naturally is that this mind created image/vision created of "the other" is only an empty story which is inevitably sabotaged when the eventual encounter occurs because the encounter can in no way match what the mind SUCCESSFULLY created. The solution? If at all possible one should NOT create too positive a profile of oneself or alternatively(and more realistically speaking) reject the mind's game of this self indulgent story telling which inevitably leads to failure. It's not easy, I grant you that. But it's the ONLY way to end the process of sabotaging one's prospects for success at the game of online dating.

Joined: 10/25/2005

Msg: 181 (view)

Why doesn't anybody EVER want an actual relationship anymore??? Posted: 12/4/2005 3:49:58 PM
I would love to know what it is that scares men so much about a relationship........please help! I just dont understand. What makes you think it's ONLY the men who might have this fear?

Joined: 10/25/2005

Msg: 408 (view)

Class action against Yahoo Personals and Match.com for fraud Posted: 11/21/2005 10:58:46 PM
My brief experience with the Yahoo Personals and Match.com was very uneventful to say the least. Actually, a bit more disappointing with Match due to all the "winks" and emails I sent out. Even met a couple people but no chemistry. But there's yet another site, Dharmamatch.com that bills itself as catering to "spiritually" minded singles. Funny thing was after I unsubscribed, I received two emails sent from women who were totally unsuited based on my criteria so it puzzled me to no end why they even bothered contacting me. They were half my age, VERY distant from where I live and yet somehow got rather aggressive in pushing me to meet them once I took the trouble of answering them. One said her best friend had just gotten married via that online site so she was gonna try. But judging from the fact they were attractive(or made to look as such through successful "makeovers"), I would highly suspect they were decoys only put on by that site to suck me back in.

Joined: 10/25/2005

Msg: 121 (view)

are the pay sites scamming us Posted: 11/20/2005 8:25:17 PM
Interestingly enough, I was a paying member of one paying service that bills itself as geared toward "spiritually" minded singles. Yet on two occasions, even after I had unsubscribed with them, I got emails from women half my age and in areas VERY distant from what I would want. And these women came on rather strong when I actually started chatting with them. The language barrier was also an issue making communication rather "challenging" to say the least. One was Nigerian and "supposedly" living somewhere in Wyoming. The other, a sexy looking Asian, claimed her close "friend" had just married somebody in Ohio but that she was living in West Africa with some relatives. And yet I actually DID meet someone with that service living rather close by(while as a paying subscriber) and we went out for about two months. So go figure..................

Joined: 10/25/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

does anyone believe in karma? Posted: 11/5/2005 7:49:15 AM
Sure Karma exists. However, it also turns out that it's your own "Karma" that attracted the guy in the first place and will continue to attract these Karmic kinds of situations so long as you've got your own unresolved issues to deal with. So you're not doing yourself a service by blaming him for your own troubles.

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