IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN? chat & forums.

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call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 125 (view)

IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN? Posted: 11/6/2009 6:54:09 PM
I was brought up not to initiate, so i never did... but now at this age, im divorced and have grown kids... i joined POF and i initiated... and im glad i did.... its been the best year of my life...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Would you date a cheater Posted: 10/8/2009 6:31:33 PM
Theres so many situations to come up with examples.. But mines really twisted.. I met a guy who's separated... I started seeing him quite often right from the beginning... Its going on a year now, this month.. A few months into the relationship I felt comfortable enough to ask him what caused his separation. He tells me he had an affair and got caught by his wife. Since we;ve been together we never had a problem, never a fight, nothing whatsoever... So what do I do? Stop seeing him? It just doesnt work that way... We like being together.. Anything could happen to anyone.. No matter what kind of relationship you're in. This guy could tell me tomorrow that hes going back with his wife... I pursued this knowing he was separated and I continued to see him even after he told me he got caught cheating by his wife... Thats the chance Im taking.... Ill just take the blow, get therapy, and move on.... But for now its all good and im living for the moment....

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Addressing separated status Posted: 9/7/2009 4:24:18 PM
Explain it after you meet.. Last october I met someone online who is separated.. im divorced... We didnt talk about any details until we met.. we mutually liked each other right away... and by the time he told me more details about the separation, (and the fact that he still lives there but sleep in separate rooms) i already loved his company... i gave it some thought... alot of thought... not just that night but even after i saw him a few times... i took a chance and im glad i did.... we just enjoy each others company so much that after a few dates i made my decision to pursue this... its still just as good if not better.. and we see each other everyday.. people shouldnt be so quick to say no.. i know its not a socially acceptable thing to do what im doing, but if 2 people are happy with each other and can accept the situation, then you should spend time together.. life is too short...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

Problems in the bedroom :( Posted: 8/27/2009 6:04:30 AM
There are so many things you can say or do that would let him know. you can do it in a sexy way in the bedroom.. take his hand and put it where you like to be touched and tell him how much you love that... whisper sexy things to him and say, "you know what i would love for you to do to me?" or "you know what drives me crazy?"and trust me, he'll want to know and he'll want to please you... right now he has no idea cause you're not letting him know what you like... some guys need to be told... theres so many ways to keep the spark in the bedroom... you can text him or leave him a sexy message during the day and give him something to look forward to.. he might even start doing it to you too.. but you have to take the first step... he'll love it...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

she says she needs space?? How much is enough? Posted: 8/27/2009 5:45:13 AM
edencapwell on page 1 took the words right out of my mouth, word for word...... i agree with her 100%. also: when someone says they're confused and they need space, it almost always means im suffocating, i need to get away from you for a while and im not sure i want to be with you... For your own peace of mind, I would ask her if she has any intentions of getting back together or if you should move on... i know its a hard question to ask cause you may not like what her answer will be..... but its not right that she leaves you hanging like that either... She might never know what she wants and you'll be sitting around waiting for her...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Sex Buddies Posted: 5/26/2009 6:17:17 PM
I like swingpup's answer... (message#23) It really does work for some people but you have to be upfront about it from the beginning...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 284 (view)

If you had the perfect partner how often would you want sex? Posted: 5/25/2009 8:12:50 AM
Everyday.... before Breakfast, during Lunch, after Dinner and Midnight snack...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

F*ckers vs. Lovers Posted: 5/19/2009 9:16:03 AM
Yes I beleive you can have both with one person... As long as you feel complete comfort with each other. If you feel like you're going to be judged then it wont work.. If you're open minded and care for one another you can have the best of both worlds..

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Do you leave when the all has gone? Posted: 5/19/2009 9:00:20 AM
My ex husband and I had nothing in common with each other.. Yes we were attracted to each other but after years of being together I realized I married the wrong man.The attraction isnt as important as how well you get along with each other.. I dont even know how i stayed married for 12 years. I was so unhappy.. They say opposites attract. I dont beleive that at all.. You have to have things in common.. not everything, but you've got to share some of the same interests or it wont work.. one of you will want to do something and the other wont.. then you start looking for people who want to do those things with you.. friends, family.. whatever... and you drift apart and start fighting alot... my marriage ended because of this and other more serious issues... he was also an alcoholic.. which i thought would change after we got married... i was young and naive... OP: before you get into a relationship thats going to end because the "all" ends, try starting a relationship that wont end by finding someone who has similar interests as you to avoid a breakup/divorce, especially when children are involved.. dont think things will change when you get married... you're not going to change a person or think they will like what you like... they might try for a while but it wears off....

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Do we choose our relationship pains and sorrows? Posted: 5/11/2009 10:38:26 AM
good idea brunette girl.... lol

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Has your relationship ever generated HATERS? Posted: 5/8/2009 9:59:56 PM
Sometimes i get haters here in the forums when i talk about my situation.. in fact i dont talk about it anymore.. even if i want advice.. its not worth all the negative comments i get.. and thats because its not your typical relationship that im in... im with a separated man... and not too many people can understand that.. theres very few that it works for, and im one of them.. sometimes i try talking about it and my thread gets deleted.. i dont know why... im sure im not the only one in this situation.. and i want to talk about it with others in the same situation as me.. and i dont want to read the threads from 2005... just the other day i saw a thread that a guy posted.. he had the same relationship as me.. and i was replying to him and hit send, the thread was already deleted.. thats not right....

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 150 (view)

How do you stimulate the clitoris? Posted: 5/6/2009 10:32:26 PM
yes to what RacerMatt says: he's got it right...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

instant message [CLOSED Thread] Posted: 5/6/2009 9:26:19 PM
hello.... i use to be able to instant message people and now i cant.. how come? is it a problem on the site or is there some sort of upgrade that we need to get? thanks... Thread right below yours already in progress here: >> Instant Messenger Has Been Discontinued By 3rd party Vendor Closed - Redundant Thread

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Is it right that I'm on POF? Posted: 5/5/2009 9:54:06 PM
you should talk this over with her.. im sure she'll want to be dating also.. you're both young.... did she say something about you being on here? does she know you're on this site? i would talk to her and see where the relationship stands and what you both want while shes away at school..... i would go on another break while shes away.. and when shes finished with school, if you still feel strongly for one another then get back in the relationship again..

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Is it childish secrets and combover Posted: 4/28/2009 10:46:58 PM
wow and i thought i had problems..

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 429 (view)

why do men always have to look at other women!! Posted: 4/26/2009 10:39:55 AM
I dont think theres anything wrong with looking but i find it disrespectful sometimes if you're with your SO.. im divorced now, for other reasons... but whoever i date now i could care less who he looks at... its just part of getting older i guess.. it use to bother me when i was younger but it doesnt bother me now... i look too... when i was married my ex had a habit of doing this alot tho... one day we were in the car.... my mom and my 2 yr old daughter were in the back seat... and i was 6 months pregnant with my son.... so we're driving along in stop and go traffic.. my ex sees this pretty girl and practically did an exorcist move (turning his head almost completely around to check her out) he was getting real close to the car in front of us so i told him to hurry up and get his eyes back on the road, but he was too close and rear ended him.... idiot..... everyone was ok.. no injuries or damage but it caused a dramatic scene... i slapped him on the back of the head... i was so p i s s e d..

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Would you meet someone like this in person? Posted: 4/24/2009 9:16:16 AM
maybe he decided to go out with another POF'er before you and it didnt work out so now you're next on his list.. who knows? maybe he thought she was better? or.................... maybe he's married... i wouldnt give him anymore chances... cause you already have this experience as a first impression of him and you might go into it negatively from the start... i woudnt waste my time...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 144 (view)

Impatient To Meet? Posted: 4/24/2009 9:05:43 AM
ive met a few guys from dating sites.. almost all of them i met was after a few weeks, sometimes even a month.. we both mutually got to know each other without being pushy and both were ok with waiting.. we kept it interesting through messages and phone calls.. however after we meet we seem to have this vision of what you expect or what you think its going to be like and alot of times you're wrong and end up being disappointed and it doesnt last... 6 months ago i met someone here on POF... the messages to each other were so fun that we decided to meet the very next day... we didnt even have time to get a vision or think about what to expect.. we just made a quick spontaneous plan and hit it off right away.. we're still together... so you never know...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 578 (view)

The instant chemistry demand Posted: 4/23/2009 9:12:48 AM
4 days after i joined POF i met someone who totally blew me away from the very first message... we continued messaging all day.. for both of us, there was definitely some sort of chemistry, connection, or whatever you want to call it... i cant even explain it.... we're still together.. i never thought it was possible or believed in instant chemistry, but it happened to me... its very very rare, but it does happen....

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

relationship Posted: 4/22/2009 10:40:54 PM
ha ha... Azalea, you crack me up!!!!

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Including A Gift.... Posted: 4/22/2009 10:06:52 PM
this is by far the funniest thread ive read so far... makes alotta sense too.... i shoulda known you were from Jersey... lol...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Fluid Bonding Posted: 4/22/2009 7:45:22 PM
lol MsMicki... crazy right? Cheers!

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Do you feel that your exe's help make you a better person? Posted: 4/21/2009 10:02:29 PM
my ex made me a worse person... i was miserable... i became a better person when i left him...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

warning to newly separated Posted: 4/21/2009 6:53:03 PM
thank you.... i didnt know about this either

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Italian Guys Posted: 4/21/2009 7:30:49 AM
sei giovane e simpatico... con il tempo troverai una bella ragazza.. no ti preocupare e non avere primura.. hai tutta la vita... devi godere essere libero per ora... io mi sono sposata a 26 anni.. big mistake.. too young...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

Which stage of sex do you enjoy the most? Posted: 4/18/2009 12:05:37 AM
Arousal... Foreplay... Plateau... Orgasm... REPEAT...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Was This man telling me lies? Posted: 4/17/2009 6:39:37 PM
'when things were strong we had the best,but can never go back to that again' If the above is what you read on his phone then he was probably asking her if she was sure that she wanted to end it and he still has feelings for her... he said his battery was dead and could only text and not call cause maybe he doesnt want his wife/ex wife to know hes dating... he sounds like hes hoping for her to take him back.. maybe hes not even divorced and only separated.... its not over yet.. i think he still has feelings for her.. and i dont beleive the ex criminal story... or that she lives in another country... he wants you to think hes far away when hes with her... actually, i dont beleive anything he said... and if he doesnt want his neighbors, his dad, or his girls to know about you then he's still married.... go with your gut feelings...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

break up? Posted: 4/17/2009 3:43:40 PM
is he married?/separated?

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 77 (view)

When You Stop Looking You Will Find What You're Looking For. Posted: 4/16/2009 11:58:04 PM
weather you look for it, it looks for you, you cross paths, you bumped into each other with peanut butter and chocolate, or you stopped looking and it "found" you... it really doesnt matter..... whatever it is.... we'll all have our own "unique" stories to tell the grand kids...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 64 (view)

Why are so many attractive people divorced? Posted: 4/16/2009 6:52:55 AM
theres more chances of an attractive person being hit on. maybe after 20-30 yrs of being married they look at themselves and say "hey i still got it" or they feel like they missed out by marrying too young... and if they like the attention that they're not getting at home anymore, they will go for it and eventually get divorced... thats a bad reason to break up a family but divorce is so common now.. not many people think of the vows like they use to... however, divorce doesnt only happen to attractive people... theres people who are attractive or not attractive and are abused, or married to an addict.. its not really about looks... im just saying... that that could be one of the reasons....

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

The fears of being alone Posted: 4/15/2009 5:08:45 PM
sorry.. i was crackin up at Azalea's reply i forgot to put my own 2 cents in... my fear of being alone is that no one will know where i hide my toys and personal things and if i die my family will find them before anyone has a chance to get rid of them and they will be left with an awful impression of me.... lol i dont think i wanna be remembered like that... lol

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

The fears of being alone Posted: 4/15/2009 5:01:11 PM
Azalea... your answers are always so brilliant... lol

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 88 (view)

What do men really want? Posted: 4/15/2009 4:20:58 PM
it doesnt work out because one of the ingedients isnt there... the emotional, intellectual or physical... one of them is possibly missing or not as strong as it should be.. but thats ok cause you wouldnt wanna settle for anything less... you will know when you meet him.. you just will... its magic... i waited 46 years... but it was worth the wait.... and i think it comes along (possibly) once in a lifetime...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

Is it a compliment to be contacted by a younger man? Posted: 4/15/2009 4:13:36 PM
Yes... i take it as a compliment..... but thats about it.... i dont pursue anything.... but it is flattering....

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 195 (view)

Ladies.....is anyone else NOT amused by....... Posted: 4/15/2009 4:09:21 PM
thats too funny vannessa... i started doing the same thing.... lol

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 295 (view)

why dont most men keep it trimmed ?? Posted: 4/15/2009 4:06:00 PM
i didnt make it through all the pages on this thread but i noticed theres more people who like it trimmed than not trimmed... i personally like it natural.. dont do anything to it .. just leave it the way it is..

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Any advice for me? Posted: 4/14/2009 8:24:57 PM
You asked for sincere advice and then you try to explain yourself everytime someone is trying to help you... they've all given you good honest advice.. now take it and put it to use..

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 171 (view)

What are YOU reading lately? Posted: 4/14/2009 7:55:42 PM
^^^^^^ thank you....

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 169 (view)

What are YOU reading lately? Posted: 4/14/2009 4:09:06 PM
Im reading something thats actually very interesting... I do most of my reading online and the other day my friend introduced me to Quantum Physics.. I heard of it but I never took any interest because it seemed so complicated... He explained to me in a simplified way which caught my interest and now im just looking for things to expand my knowledge of it... here are some other things i found interesting... Power of Thoughts http://www.abundance-and-happiness.com/the-power-of-thoughts.html and The Sedona Method http://www.abundance-and-happiness.com/sedona-method.html thought id share with whoever might be curious or interested.... theres also a movie called What The Bleep Do We Know? that covers alot of this and is explained in detail by people who have done extensive research.. it is a little complicated but its very interesting.....

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

I don't like sparks and chemistry. Posted: 4/14/2009 2:30:55 PM
well i dont think you look for sparks or chemistry.. and it cant be found in a criteria.. it all happens if theres a connection when you meet......

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

What little treasures... Posted: 4/14/2009 12:19:48 PM
someone who has things in common with me and we can relate to one another.. but not everything.. that would get boring.... and... passion and affection...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

Noise during sex? Posted: 4/14/2009 11:51:28 AM
well i like a bit of heavy breathing and soft sexy talk but im not into screaming or hearing it either.. it distracts me..

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 91 (view)

The Best Way to Tell Someone You Do Not Like Him Romantically But Still Stay Friends??? Posted: 4/14/2009 11:03:08 AM
there is no easy way to say it especially if the other person has strong feelings for you.. they may not be able to continue being friends.. but if they do it may hurt them inside... they may hide their feelings and pretend they're ok with the friendship and keep hoping that you will someday change your mind.. if you really want to remain friends i would try to keep it as a distant friendship...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 119 (view)

Being seperated but no divorce in sight Posted: 4/14/2009 10:58:15 AM
i was separated for 3 years before my divorce.. he moved out and moved on but kept us on his insurance plan. when we got divorced i had a full time job and had my got my own insurance.. sometimes separated couples do this.. it doesnt mean they are getting back together or they have no intention of divorce.. its different in everyones situations.

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Does waiting increase your desire? Posted: 4/14/2009 12:12:42 AM
well now all the guys that didnt know about this, will know about it... i dont know if thats good or bad.... lol

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 82 (view)

lingerie Posted: 4/14/2009 12:07:51 AM
well we've had a brief conversation about it once and he told me that he loves black and certain other sexy things... so i make it a point to wear his favorite things, but not too often.. i like to leave it for surprises, to keep things exciting... and it turns him on knowing i took interest in what he likes.. it means alot to him and it means alot to me knowing im pleasing him...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

WARNINGS!! Posted: 4/13/2009 11:58:23 PM
I can always tell when my partner is about to cum... (i would say about a 30 second warning) and if we've been going at it for a while, we're simultaneously getting closer and closer, and the intensity that i feel from him when hes about to cum, makes us cum at the same time...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 310 (view)

Do women like men who like Feet? Posted: 4/13/2009 11:25:07 PM
I do not like touching anyones feet and I dont want anyone touching mine.. A few years ago I met someone online.. we talked for weeks.. then he brings up his foot fetish and how he loves orange nail polish... he said if we meet please wear orange nail polish on your toes.. thats all he kept talking about.. i kept telling him that i dont really want anyone touching my feet but he kept insisting that he wanted to massage them see orange nail polish... i told him i wasnt his type after all, never ended up meeting him... i stopped talking to him and blocked him.. i know alot of people like feet but obsessing over it is just too weird for me... when i was in high school i took cosmetology and part of the course was learning pedicures... all the students would do pedicures on each other... i was absent on those days cause i didnt want to touch anyones feet... so this goes way back... i never liked feet... ewwww...

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

BASIC SEARCH / European? Posted: 4/12/2009 2:46:58 PM
THANK YOU AL!!!

call me sugar

Joined: 10/7/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

memories of being young favorites when things were new Posted: 4/12/2009 10:16:14 AM
when i was 12 i liked a boy who lived across the street. he was new in town and had an identical twin.. sometimes i didnt know which one was which.. lol.. well one of them asked me out... we were hanging out by my house and i was leaning on a tree.. he leaned in to kiss me.. my first real kiss... anyway we kissed for a while... when i went in the house i sat at the kitchen table trying to be all adult and told my parents i thought i was old enough to date.... my father went bolistic.. and as im sitting there trying to convince him i was old enough, (or so i thought) i noticed ants crawling on my arms... i got so freaked out thinking they were all over my body... i got up and started jumping around and twirling trying to get the ants off of me.. i got them from leaning on the tree... my parents thought i went crazy... needless to say we all got a good laugh from it... and my dad says, "see? thats what you get for not listening." lol

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