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deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Miracle Mineral Supplement fraud? Posted: 2/13/2008 1:13:54 PM
FYI...I posted the exact same question in this forum a few weeks back. I didn't get much response; no-one that had tried it... I started taking MMS about two-3 weeks ago now, can't remember for sure. I had ordered it before Xmas and received it at end Dec. Well, not too long ago I had one of my teeth flare up and was in excruciating pain so that's when I decided to start the MMS. I started w/ the 2 drops in the morning and used lemon jc as activator. For next 2 days I added 1 drop of MMS each morning until I was at4 drops, then 3rd night I took 5 drops; next day 5 in am and 6 at night, next day 6 in am and 7 at night, next day 7 in am and 8 at night..... My tooth infection was completely gone in 6 days; not even the slightest pain left. I was having a lot of nausea so decided to stop for couple of days. I started again after couple of days and got back up to 9 drops and noticed I was coghing like crazy...urgent, uncontrollable type coughing... I think what was happening is the stuff is trying to clean out my lungs (see I am a smoker)... This coughing went on for days and I finally stopped taking the MMS so I could stop w/ the coughing and breaking up of all this stuff ! I do want to quit smoking and have every plan to do so... I will also definitley be taking the MMS again but I will start it after I quit smoking. It seems pointless for me to take it and clean out my system of toxins / bacteria/ pathogens etc... if I am still putting new ones into my body every single day. I have to say, while I've not been taking the MMS long term I am a definite believer in what I have seen so far.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

MMS-Miracle Mineral Supplement- Anyone Tried?? Posted: 1/2/2008 5:42:28 PM
I've done a lot of research on this new MMS (Miracle Mineral Supplement) that is available and supposed to be great for destroying all kinds of bacteria, viruses, pathogens, yeasts, etc... in your system. There are various sites available for review (search Miracle Mineral Supplement) and Mr. Humble's books as well....everything sounds great... But, I'd like to know if anyone has tried this stuff and what results you've experienced? I purchased a bottle on-line but I am now a little aprehensive to start using it :-) ... Thought I'd check here before starting.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 243 (view)

No smoking in car with minors Posted: 11/1/2007 6:44:09 AM
It is the simple point of the law that irritates the hell out of me. I happen to agree w/ the concept; human beings who smoke (and I am one) should not be smoking around their children. I take issue however w/ this being made a law strictly for the fact that I do not want to live in a dictatorship. I felt the exact same way many yrs back (and I was only young at the time) when government chose to inflict a law that requires us to wear seat belts. Regardless of the arguements for and against this issue, it is again the point of it- they have dictated that we must wear that seat belt even though by making the personal choice to not wear it is not effecting anyone other than myself ! I realize that those who do make the personal choice to smoke around their children are effecting others but to make it law is still moving more and more towards that dictatorship where personal choice and freedom will no longer exist.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 38 (view)

Flu Shots Posted: 10/31/2007 11:03:06 PM
I am 36 and have been getting flu shots every single year since I was 5 yrs old. I now have two children and they have been getting flu shots since they were two yrs old and will continue to do so. The shots are free in Ontario, our employer actually brings in a nurse to do the entire office and shop staff (whomever wishes to have one) and I take the kids to any one of the free clinics at local drugstores each year. I have never had any issue after getting the shot, nor have my children and I can honestly say throughout my life thus far I have been sick very, very, very few times; example, in last 10 yrs I have missed 1 day due to illness and it was not the flu (ate some bad food). Missed three other days due to recovery from operation; that is it. My daughter never gets sick either. My son, he has had the flu twice over the years (he is almost 12 now), but the two times he did have it, wasn't bad at all and recovered quite quickly. I am definitely a flu shot advocate.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

Do parents have Fave children? Posted: 5/25/2007 3:37:27 PM
Both my children (13 yr old daughter and 11 yr old son) complain "equally" that "I love the other more" ..... so.... I figure I must be treating them "equally unfairly" :--) Seriously, some parents do have a favourite...the important thing is to never, ever show it or let it be known. Each and every child must be treated as special, affection, love and praise given equally and the most important is the fairness. You must always be fair. Children are very perceptive and will pick up on little things that you or I may miss completely. The perception that they may be cared for less, loved less than their sibling can have long term negative effects on their self esteem and confidence.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 75 (view)

Laws are by Region in Ontario Posted: 5/19/2007 10:39:01 PM
I called the CAS last year regarding this topic and in Ontario the laws are by region on this issue and in Hamilton for instance there is no set age in the code. The code states that as long as the child is responsible and mature enough to respond to emergency situations, knows what to do etc... (which is all left to parental judegement) then all is OK. That is not to say that Joe Blow living two houses down can't call and report children of certain age alone in a home if he feels it's inappropriate. I was told in that situation the CAS would go to the home and if the child(ren) in question could answer some specific questions correctly and with acceptable answers and of course there was nothing dangerous occuring in the home then they would leave and everything is fine. ut, if the child cannot answer the questions appropriately there's a big problem.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 34 (view)

School terms being lengthened... Yes or no? Posted: 4/14/2007 7:37:22 AM
Excellent points Craneman... It would be great if the educators actually spent 8 hrs a day teaching our kids instead of sloughing off 3-4 hrs / night of homework that they don't understand the majority of or how to do it ....b/c they haven't been taught thoroughly enough in class time. Instead, us parents have to teach these lessons at home so the kids can get the homework done. So, where's my share of that paycheck? Lengthen the time in school each day and spend the time needed so the kids understand the lessons and reduce what is being pawned off on the parents at home. I understand children in higher grades need to gradually increase their home assignments and work etc... to prepare them for post-secondary educational life... but, this is not what I am talking about. I have been had discussions w/ my kids teachers about just this issue since grade 2.... The response, there is a set cirriculum that must be covered and we just cannot cover it in the time frame of school days. They are now in grades 8 and 5 and nothing has changed. My answer- the educational system inflicted the cirriculum... Teach it...and if you don't have enough time in a school day- extend it !

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Curfews Posted: 4/13/2007 2:07:45 PM
basically, dark is a determining factor also. 13 year old boys should be rambling about during the day but unless they are somewhere- movies, skating rink whatever, they shouldnt be out after dark - I was and was up to no good... ...you're joking right? We live in Canada....where we have a season called winter. It is dark at 5pm...so what does this mean all winter long 13 yr old kids should have to stay inside every night until the weekend? Sorry, but just b/c you were up to no good after dark does not necessarily mean everyone is. I was out well after dark growing up and I was not up to no good. There's just as much to do after dark as before dark and are we so ignorant that we believe kids don't get into trouble or do anything wrong in daylight hrs? !! My kids have a group of freinds who play a game called Reval (sp?) ... all the time and they play in light or dark (they are playing in a park or a play area at townhouse survey)... there are lights ! They also go sledding / snowboarding, skating at the arena, play baseball, play basketball....etc.... Besides, just b/c curfew is 9 pm does not mean they are "outside" per say- they do have friends who live in houses ! and they do go to movies or the arena or the mall.... whatever- in or out curfew just means that's as late as they can be ! I am not so naive to think they are never doing something they shouldn't be. I wasn't perfect and still am not... pretty sure no-one is... but if you can find me someone who never got into some good clean kid trouble let me know ! If they never make mistakes or bad choices or do something wrong how in the world will they ever learn ? I still stand by curfew of 9pm schoolnights and 10pm weekend nights as long as rules are followed (and I do keep track) ! They will have this same curfew until 16 then it will be extended a bit.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

School terms being lengthened... Yes or no? Posted: 4/13/2007 1:48:53 PM
We need them after teachinmg for a whole year. I would like to see some other people do this job for a year and NOT need a vacation. Point - teachers don't work for a "WHOLE YEAR"... Are you trying to imply that you / teachers work harder than most other people? ... and somehow you earn these two months off whilst people in other professions have not.....That others don't NEED vacation too? Can't speak for everyone, but personally, I work hard, work many, many OT hrs , have a very high stress, face paced job w/ tight deadlines...etc... Yeah, I need vacation but I certainly don't NEED 2 months at a time ! I put a hell of a lot of extra hours in when I'm not at school. I seldom get home from school before 5. I think someone touched a nerve Try leaving the house at 6am, usually getting home around 6pm every day but many many days throughout the year not getting home until 10pm +/- ... , going in on Sat/Sun when required for deadlines, and working on additional projects from home on top of that...and doing it w/ only a mere 3 weeks vacation / year. Don't get me wrong, I love my job- if I didn't I would go elsewhere.... But, come on, I think we've all listened for years how hard teachers have it... and of course, don't get paid enough for what they do ! Yet, in the meantime, the parents are expected to take on a large majority of the responsibility of educating their own children nowadays....you know the statements..."it takes a combined effort by school system and parents" or "the parents must be doing their part at home if we want our children to be well educated"... not that I don't agree... but, that's what the teacher is paid to do ! Not to mention the oversized classroom sizes, the minimal support time available for one-on-one assistance for those who need it... Anuhow, as I said, I am actually in favor of leaving the school year at 10 months, with two off. I don't see a problem w/ it and think the kids do learn a lot of "different" skills (life skills) and adventures and exploration etc... good time for part time jobs for the older ones who are learing responsibility and handling money etc... and I don't think they are ready to go out into the real world full time at age 16... most are not ready at 18! So, those are my reasons for saying leave it as is... not b/c I think the teachers need the break ! As I said... I'm all for having them work until 5pm M-F teaching classes. Maybe there would be enough time then to devote some time to those who need it . And someone said above those who think this way just don't want to pay daycare....sorry, my kids are too old for daycare ! I think they can handle an 8 hr day, simple as that.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

School terms being lengthened... Yes or no? Posted: 4/12/2007 7:07:54 PM
Kids just can't focus for 8 hours a day and after so long their minds would literally be switched off. When we were kids an hour felt like an eternity, its no different now. They can definitely focus on MSN for 8 hrs. They can focus on video games for 8 hrs. They can focus on baseball/basketball/hockey/soccor/football/ for 8 hrs. They can focus on music for 8 hrs. The girls can shop for 8 hrs. The girls can talk on the phone for 8 hrs. The girls can focus on boys and boys on girls for 8 hrs. Make it interesting and fun and they can focus for 8 hrs. It's not unreasonable... it's Life.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

School terms being lengthened... Yes or no? Posted: 4/12/2007 6:47:23 PM
I see no problem w/ school yr from Sept to June the way it is now....leave it alone. BUT.... I would definitely support extending the school DAY to match most office hours.... I see no reason they can't be in school until 5pm M-F.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

Kids and their bugs :( Posted: 4/12/2007 6:39:47 PM
Yeah... went through it a couple of times. Thankfully, I never got it. Unfortunately, for son and daughter... they did and did agaion and again ! By the third time I was going crazy...working all day, coming home and having to spend hours and hours combing through every single hair in my daughter's head... I did end up getting it cut off very short. The problem was a lady at the daycare- her daughter had it and while she did use the treatment, she did not comb through to pick out the nits, hence her daughter kept getting it back and bringing it ot daycare to share ... ! The daycare lady had to explain to her exactly what to she needed to do. Then, my son got it again at summer camp a couple of yrs ago... I managed to get rid of it the first treatment... but as others have said, you still need to keep combing the hair - every strand- for days afterwards to make sure you get every last nit and repeat the treatment also. Every single thing must be cleaned as described above- couches, car seats, beds, pillows, stuffed toys, towels, carpets, clothing, brushes, combs... everything ! There's a spary you can but for the car seats and couches etc... but wash everything else in hot water or put in hot dryer or tie off in garbage bags for days. (There's a positive note here- bet our houses have never been so clean as they were) ! NOTE- just a note to all... when someone in school does get it, they always send home those papers warning parents... read them carefully. I had to complain to my children's school as they were sending home papers that they said they received directly from Public Health that specifically told parents there is no need to pick out nits as the treatment will kill them is used properly ! I almost went beserk....I flipped out on them. I basically told the principal that either she sees to it the letters are revised or the next time one of my children brought home lice from school I would send them to her and she could deal w/ it. The letters that are sent home now do not say you don't need to pick nits. What works... to keep them away in the first place.... Definitely Tea Trre Oil - Lice hate the smell. The tea tree oil shampoo is pretty expensive but if you buy the pure tea tree opil and put a few drops in regular shampoo bottles it works just as good. It is a very strong smell- you just add afew drops and your good to go. That's what we do now. Also, they do hate the smell of vinegar. So rinsing w/ this is good. Also, they do not like hairspray so they usually stay away from heads w/ spray on them. Too bad about your hair... but, for next time, you know more info now. It is definitley a horrible horrible experience for everyone. Too bad we couldn't figure out a way to eliminate them from the earth for good !

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Curfews Posted: 4/12/2007 6:12:11 PM
7 pm seems a little early for a 13 yr old. (my opinion only) Perhaps many will disagree w/ me. I guess it's probably b/c I am from Nova Scotia, grew up in the country and was always allowed out pretty late. The nearest neighbour was a 10 minute walk minimum . There was a bunch of us that would all gather to play football, skate on the pond, baseball, swim in the brook, fish etc....whatever. I know, this is not the country and there are a lot more "freaks" in the world today but I still allow my children some freedom. The freedom to be responsible and choose to follow the rules. When they don't, there are consequences. I have a 13 yr old daughter and her curfew is 9pm Sunday-Thursday and 10pm Fri and Sat. I must know where she is, who she is with and if she's leaving that place to go to another, she must ask first. They are home from school before I am home from work hence another ule, they must call my office and ask if they want to go anywhere...and all the above rules still apply. My 11 yr old son has basically the same curfew and all the same rules w/ the exception that my daughter is allowed to go "farther" away from the home than he is. Yes, I worry. Yes, I know all the potential diasasters in the world...but, I teach my kids about the dangers, making good choices, the importance of being safe, the importance of the rules etc... and I don't want them to grow up being untrusting, afraid of people, afraid of life and paranoid. I prefer they grow up confident, outgoing, responsible and knowing how to make smart choice. So, while a lot will probabaly disagree, I think 7pm is too early for that age. BUT, again, I really don't know what area you live in... because to be honest, if I lived in some of the really bad parts of this great city of Hamilton I probably would just lock them up ! (in all seriousness, I would move if at all possible...not where I would want my kids to be at all). I guess I would suggest thinking back to yourself at 13... what was your cufew? What types of things were you allowed to do/not do... what were the rules?... and, did you learn from them, grow up confident and outgoing and responsible or not? Mind you... it definitley takes a heck of lot more than a curfew to learn and teach these values... but it can contribute... So, a better question I guess is... did these things contribute in a positive way or negative way for you?

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

Has anyone emailed someone that they wouldn't date? Posted: 4/11/2007 7:03:15 PM
Not for me personally, I'm not on here to make friends or find chat buddies. I'm on here to find a partner for life. If someone emails me for another reason... just to ask a question or comment on something I will respond but I don't initiate emails w/ anybody I wouldn't want to get to know further to explore the potential for lasting relationship.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 222 (view)

Sorry, I just don't find you attractive Posted: 4/11/2007 6:58:46 PM
The majority of people on here say they value honesty....but... sometimes people can't take it. You are either attracted to someone or not and what I find attractive will be completely different than what the next person does and so on...If there's absolutely no initial attraction, just exactly how far do you think you're gonna get in a lasting relationship? If I am not, I tell the person the truth, and the specific reasons I am not. While I try to do this in a non-offensive way, I admittedly have probably offended a few. My point of view is this: I do value honesty and I would not want to be with someone who does not. If you are not attracted to me, tell me and by all means elaborate w/ the reasons if there are specifics. I'm an adult, I can take it...and maybe even come away from it w/ some deeper insight of myself.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 273 (view)

Child Support OR Family Support Posted: 4/11/2007 5:44:01 PM
If you aren't willing to do so you should have kept your zipper zipped and your penis inside or your legs closed ! Both men and women have zippers and the penis comment was directed to the men and legs closed was directed towards females

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 22 (view)

Keeping score? Posted: 4/11/2007 5:08:41 PM
While it's not a good idea to be "keeping score" I personally think even if you're not conciously doing it, your sub-concious will do it for you. If you eventually end up feeling like you are getting very little "give" out of your relationship...and constantly "giving" then you don't necessarily have to have been conciously counting !

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 267 (view)

Child Support OR Family Support Posted: 4/11/2007 4:56:59 PM
There's no "tirade" here. and ... I am not "Angry" ... I just happen to be a very passionate person in all aspects of life, including my values, morals and beliefs. This just happens to be one of those issues that I hold dear to my heart seeing as my children do not receive any financial support from their father. He has always been a deadbeat loser, still is, and always will be I believe. Now, I chose him, I stayed w/ him and I slept w/ him...and had children w/ him. I take responsibility for the choices I made. My children are the only good result of that relationship. I work hard every single day, have arelatively good job, am able to do it on my own. I don't NEED his money. My problem is that while I am able to provide all the necessities of life, I am not able to provide any luxuries, any extracurricular activities, much of any fun at all for them. They do have the right to that. They are good kids, they've not had the easiest life. Albeit, there are a lot worse off. This is where my passion comes from on this topic. It is not that I am unable to put myself on the other side of the fence ...it is that I sincerely feel for those children who miss out on the things in life b/c their NCP is irresponsible and immature and selfish. (and this includes fathers or mothers). If for some unforeseeable reason their father was to ever end up w/ custody there is no way I would do as he has done. I would be paying child support for my children....so they hopefully could have a better life.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 712 (view)

It's time: Brutally Honest Profile Reviews by Kikilynn... as promised Posted: 4/11/2007 4:11:15 PM
Go for it...please. Thanx.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 260 (view)

Child Support OR Family Support Posted: 4/11/2007 3:43:36 PM
"God Given Right" is just a saying... I guess I should have eliminated the word "God". I am not an overy religious person.... BUT, it is the child's RIGHT by all means to be supported by BOTH parents. You cannot be serious in your statement that you actually think a stay at home mother / father is not contributing to the financial support of their children ! Just b/c they aren't bringing in a paycheck does not mean they are not financially contributing ! If they were not a stay-at-home parent then there would be daycare expenses that are VERY costly. Get real please.... Two people have a child, the child didn't ask to be conceived, didn't have a choice in a matter. Those two BIOLOGICAL parents damn well have the responsibility to support that child in every way, including finances. The reason I "capped" biological above is b/c this is the one area I do not agree w/ in this province-- the fact that when a man marries a single mother who has children from a previous relationship, the court system then enforces that person to pay child support if the marriage breaks up. I definitley DO NOT agree w/ this. It is not that person's responsibility if the relationship does not work out. IT IS ONLY THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE TWO WHO WERE INVOLVED IN MAKING THE BABY! Back to original point....I just cannot believe that some people think they can shun this responsibility. There are way too many failed marraiges, relationships, way too many kids having kids in this world, people just seem to treat life a hell of a lot differently than many yrs ago. People who have children should be working to stay together a heck of lot harder than they do to begin with. (Exception to this of course is any kind of abuse... mental, emotional or physical- totally unacceptabel). If people cannot stay together then those children NEED to come first and be priority # 1 for both parents- again, it is their right to be supported by both.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

I'd like your input... Posted: 4/11/2007 2:04:38 PM
I posted this profile review request quite some time ago and I have updated since that time.... Please, provide your feedback. Thax!

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 256 (view)

Child Support OR Family Support Posted: 4/11/2007 1:53:49 PM
SpiderHam's quote---- Actually my question when I started this thread was wondering how people view CS.. Nothing to do with a gripe at all. The gripe I hear is when money is simply being handed over blindly towards something... I know I wouldn't be to keen on the idea of simply handing money over to my EX to allow her to spend in any way she deemed fit. Most NCP's don't mind paying support.. The stats seem to indicate this over and over again... Dead Beat parents being the majority is simply a myth. But the main gripe I hear from NCP's who pay CS is that they simply have to hand this money over, and simply hope that their EX spends it correctly. End Quote---- Regarding above statement- IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS HOW YOUR EX SPENDS THE MONEY! You don't have to like it, you can hope all you want, you can be angry about it all you like and you can complain about it til the end of your days if like. IT IS NONE OF YOUR GOD-DAMNED BUSINESS ! Unless your ex is an unfit mother/father (AND IF THIS IS THE CASE AND YOU WERE ANY KIND OF STAND UP MAN AND PARENT YOU WOULD HAVE CUSTODY OR WOULD BE IN THE PROCESS OF ACQUIRING IT). Otherwise, if this is not the case, the CP can spend that CS (the God-given right of your children) any way she/he seems fit, not you, she/he. Again, NOT YOUR BUSINESS! Grow the hell up and be a Parent. If you aren't willing to do so you should have kept your zipper zipped and your penis inside or your legs closed ! Also, I'd like to know what stats you're reading.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 238 (view)

Child Support OR Family Support Posted: 4/9/2007 10:56:10 PM
I am CP and the fact of the matter is when TWO people have a child, TWO people are responsible for putting a Roof over the child's head, Food in their stomach, Clothes on their back and to pay for all other incidentals required by that child. Thing is, as a single parent w/ 2 children full time (don't get me wrong, love them more than life and wouldn't have it any other way)... I go to work every single day, sick or not, M-F at a relatively good job, make pretty good living... so I can afford the rent for a 3BR home, groceries, utilities, car payment (to get to work), maintenance, necessities, clothes for all 3 of us, school trips, dentist bills, medications, haircuts, etc.. etc... etc... If the NCP actually had a job and paid support perhaps my children could afford to participate in some extracurricular activities, ie Hockey, Baseball, Soccor, whatever....things their friends do that they cannot b/c all my money goes to bills... so, it does not really matter where that money coming from NCP is being used... towards what specific items ... so long as the children are provided their God given right to be supported by the TWO adults (parents) who brought them into this world, not just one. Men and/or Women who shun this responsibility or complain the money is going to pay "bills" or question where the money goes at all... are absolute losers.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Carpe Diem Posted: 4/9/2007 9:44:26 PM
You never know...perhaps she spent the evening regretting not talking to you or offering her number :) The saddest part is you'll never know. For all of us, it is better to know the answer than to leave ourselves wondering "what if"? It is very difficult to overcome the fear of rejection. I think it is the most wide-spread, common fear shared amongst humans. It is an inate need in a human to be wanted and needed and when rejected we feel defeated...unwanted. It is only when you gain enough confidence within yourself that it will not matter whether rejection comes... when you are happy w/ you, know that you are wanted, loved and needed... it will no longer matter what the cute / handsome stranger across the room replies. Don't get me wrong, it will always matter a little...(otherwise you would just be some****, full of yourself loser)... but you will be able to bounce back and move onto the next one...who just may say Yes :) Or, with your newfound coy but confident persona, you may just find "she"/he will be approaching you !

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Need Some Insights Please!! Posted: 4/11/2006 3:09:59 PM
I have found that a lot of people on here are not that serious about wanting a real relationship, even when they say that's what they want. In the case of those people, Probably reading what your family has been through and the sincerity of it, anyone with half a heart and who may not be that serious may back away and not reply or message you. Another possibility is the 5 children. I mean you sound like a great guy and I'm not saying 5 children would automatically rule someone out for me, but being realistic, I'll use myself as an example... I have two of my own, plus your 5 = 7 ! These days are not like the good old days (my grandmother had 14 kids).... Now a days, it costs a lot of money to raise a child.... the evryday expenses, the weekly, monthly, annual needs, then the education - it's absolutely outrageous...so when I even think of having "7", it does boggle my mind a bit... Again, not that it's a rule out factor, but the question is there... How could we possibly manage that? You do saound like a great guy though... and I wish you luck- perhaps if Saskatchewan wasn't so far away ! Just my two cents worth. deew

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Anyone else have fleeting moments of regret? Posted: 4/5/2006 9:31:06 PM
gbg1964---It is not about YOU anymore, why arent you ppl getting this? ..... Don't you think you're being a little harsh? Leeann didn't say anything to infer she doesn't get it and I definitley get it. The kids have always been priority # 1 and I'm sure leeann (although I don't know her) feels the same... I think she was just relating to my original post... yes, she too feels this way sometimes... I'd like to think it's normal... You know, it really is OK to cry once in awhile... it's OK to show emotion and it's OK for your children to know you "feel". No, I don't have sobbing fits in front of my kids so please, no need to jump all over that one... just making a point here... I agree, they need to see that you are the rock, the strength, the stability.... But, they also need to know you are human. There's no crime in that. Leeann... I cry too sometimes... not often & it could be just out of the blue- something will happen or I'll watch a sad movie or just some obscure thought will come to me... and sometimes, it just happens... when I lay in bed at night... the tears just come. Nothing to be ashamed of... I actually find it to be soothing- a good cry never hurt anyone !! ...But, if you're crying frequently then you probably need to speak to a therapist !

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Anyone else have fleeting moments of regret? Posted: 4/5/2006 9:11:50 PM
I don't keep tabs on anything he does... work or otherwise... I actually don't think he's working at all right now, according to some comments from my daughter. He was never the type to even support himself... his entire life- he's 40 this year and he's probably only lived on his own for a period of maybe 2 months in his lifetime... always had to be with a buddy, sister, me, now new girlfriend and her son- so you see, someone's always supported him. He's in construction so he works maybe 6 months out of every year and then when he does work, of course, b/c he's perfect, he always knows more than his boss... usually ends up quitting.. and he's always had the luxury of being able to do so b/c he's never been responsible for much of anything !....Trust me, it's not going to happen. Anyhow, don't want to waste any more of my breath "talking" about him ....It may sound like I harbour a lot of resentment and you know what, yes, I do !!! ... actually I'm over it and not an issue. I will do it on my own the best I can do and when they are older, they will respect the choices I made and the things I did. As for him, charma baby, charma ! I like the quote ... thanks!

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Anyone else have fleeting moments of regret? Posted: 4/5/2006 8:32:34 PM
gbg1964 ... Never had any intention or thoughts of ever going back !... thought I made that quite clear. I did also mention that I had my daughter in a program for her behavior... it was successful... she just graduated last week actually... there's been a huge improvement in the "home" front. Their father does see them- every 2nd weekend and they are of the opinion he's the greatest thing in the world ! Of course, that seems to be the way it goes ! I know as they grow older they will come to their own conclusions about him... He doesn't need my help in pointing out what an ass he is.... he does a fine job all by himself. No, he doesn't pay a dime in support- that's the biggest problem- if he was supporting them, I wouldn't have to work 15 hrs a day, would be able to spend more quality time w/ them, would be able to have them involved in some sports and extracuricular activities and wouldn't be so stressed all the time !! ... I'm sure I wouldn't feel that guilt creep in either !! I can pretty much guarantee he feels no guilt. I don't go after him for support b/c I have been through enough w/ him... I'm not going to "force" him to support his children. If he were a real man, a real father and any kind of human being he would make that decision on his own. He is the type that would just quit his job immediately anyhow... if there was an order against him... he'd quit, move and work under the table- he's in construction and he's done it many times before... No, this issue is a dead one. I personally talk to him when necessary and that's it. As difficult as it is on my own, I don't want his money if it's forced out of him. One day when the kids are adults, he can explain his actions to them himself. So, yes, I am dealing with it. I am a pretty positive person, great job, normally just deal with day to day situations the best I can and do take advantage of the numerous resources out there for assitance... All I was wondering, is if others feel the guilt too ?... whether it's justified or not, is a totally different thing... it doesn't change the feeling.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Anyone else have fleeting moments of regret? Posted: 4/5/2006 7:37:45 PM
Just wondering, I can't imagine I'd be the only one ! I'm not talking about my kids... definitley no regrest there. What I mean is... Do any of you single parents out there ever just feel like you should have stayed in the relationship "for the kids"- even it meant you were unhappy ? My parents did just that and it was definitley the wrong thing to do and intellectually & emotionally I know I made the right decision... things are so, so, so much better in so many facets it's incredible... BUT, then there's the things that aren't better... Financially, it's a struggle on my own- you know, you live paycheque to paycheque, no savings, no money put away for kids education / future etc... I work FT M-F - leave the house at 6:30 am , get home at 6pm + just started my own business to try and get ahead (so there will be savings, debt paid off, education $ etc...)... yet this leaves very little time for family and quality time w/ the children. It seems I come home from work, supper, ensure the homeworks done, kids are settled , chores done and work some more, only to repeat this tomorrow! My daughter's having problems in school- not doing her assignments and work- she's able to do it- very intelligent actually, just choosing not to and giving some attitude to the teachers. She took the final split b/t father and myself the hardest... I recently had her in a girls group for 12 & under w/ behavioral issues (12 week program & went very well), but on her intake questionaire when asked what she wishes for kost in the world- she answered, that my mom & dad were together. This really breaks my heart. Just knowing how difficult this has been on my kids and even though they know it was not good when their father and I were together- they realize it was bad... they still wish for this . Then there's the fact that all their friends are able to do so much more than they can do b/c we can't afford all those extras... like school trips, hockey, baseball, soccor etc... Kids just don't understand fianances and all they understand is that all their friends are doing these things ! There are more things... but this gives you the idea... Don't get me wrong... I don't really regret getting away from that relationship at all... it's been 18 months of "peace" and just a feeling of wanting to come home at the end of the day- I didn't have that before ! I guess what I really regret is that the entire situation is what it is ! There's that element of guilt that I share 1/2 the responsibility for my children's lives being what it is. Not that it's horrible by any means... they actually have it pretty good compared to some, yet some (most of their friends) have it a lot better... hence, to them, it's horrible. And admittedly, their's could be a hell of a lot better ! It doesn't happen often, but every once in awhile, I get that little, annoying voice that says..."maybe I should have stayed" "maybe things wouldn't be so bad for them if I'd just stuck it out" .... Then I give my head a shake and wake up !!! I know they are better off now. So, anyone else ever have these fleeting "SECONDS" of insanity? Anyone feel as guilty as I do soemtimes? Deew

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 167 (view)

Do You Have a Self-Imposed Age Limit for Dating (or Whatever?) Posted: 4/4/2006 9:49:06 PM
I don't like to generalize and it's definitley not true for ALL men, but in general, women mature much faster than men (not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, responsibility etc...). I am 34 and have my search settings at 34-42. If someone younger messages me, I check them out, I don't dis-regard them solely based on their age, but I just find men younger than myself are on a different path than me. They are not mature enough and their priorities in life tend to not be in sync with mine ! Again, no offense anyone- this is generally speaking and there are of course exceptions.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 41 (view)

How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate?? Posted: 3/19/2006 1:31:34 PM
Imsneaky... so, since you know what it means... What's your plan to make it? Your goals, aspirations... Is your way to meet a man that has the goals and aspirations or to independently make it on your own?

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate?? Posted: 3/19/2006 1:11:53 PM
Imsneaky... By 22, I'd think you'd be a little more realistic. A six figure salary is $100,000 plus... do you realize this? There are a great many 2 income families that still don't make 100K combined and manage to struggle through ! No harm in dreaming, but you also have to live in reality! If you have the goals, aspirations and ambition to be one of the 100K+ earners, great for you... but if you are expecting every man over 22 to be on that list, wake up ! As far as the original question, yes, profession has some standing... it tells me something about that person- how ambitious are they? How educated, intelligent, driven and passionate is this person? The age range of men I would be interested in should have an established career, that they are truly passionate about and love, at this point w/ continued goals for the future, yet family should come first, career second! I mean, seriously, it doesn't take much intelligence or ambition to throw garbage on the back of a truck or to pack grocery bags or ask if you'd like fries w/ that burger... I think by the time you are out of your teens, these "jobs" do not then classify as a career !

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 184 (view)

What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site? Posted: 3/19/2006 10:11:28 AM
No, I was referring to the original post in this thread... She had stated, "this is getting serious" ... Hence, my opinion posted... just my opinion !

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 180 (view)

What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site? Posted: 3/19/2006 9:47:37 AM
(This is getting serious.) I guess my question would be... "Is this your opinion or both of your opinions? Have you even discussed the issue os seriousness w/ him? The whole idea of "dating", iss just that- you "date" people, get to know them and hope to find someone you are compatible w/ and you can see a long-term future with. Unless you've talked about the level of seriousness of your "relationship" and come to an agreement that you are exclusive or you want to take it to the next level, or not, then you really have nothing to get on his case about... he's dating you, an who knows, maybe others too ! You said you met while ago, how long ago is awhile?.. a month, 2 weeks, a year? It does make a difference I think... Again, you'd be doing yourself a favour to communicate w/ him about this instead of checking up on him behind his back !

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Please tell me all the things you complain about THAT YOUR KIDS DO which annoy you. Posted: 3/19/2006 9:12:58 AM
I also have a seat pee-er.... it is very annoying ! - He's 10 and I am constantly telling him... lift the seat... and wipe it ! 12 yr. old daughter also- she is a digger... roots through everything- gets into my make-up, perfume, clothes, jewellry, hair stuff, absolutely everything. This drives me nuts!... then, lies about it... that makes it even worse! I attempted to put a padlock on my bedroom door but didn't work... I will be getting some lockable cabinets to deal w/ this issue as she just will not stay out of stuff. I have tried to talk w/ her about asking to borrow things and then ensuring she puts things back when done, but it doesn't work- she just helps herself and doesn't return anything to it's rightful place... I am constantly looking for my stuff ! Another thing is picking up after themselves... sometimes I feel like a full time maid... it seems they have no issue living in complete chaos, which is obvious by their rooms, yet when they try to overflow that way of life into other areas in the house it drives me nuts... dishes are left wherever they happen to be when they finish, wrappers, papers, clothes wherever they remove them.. etc... getting them to pick up themselves is always a "later", "I'll do it when this _________ is over or done etc..."... I just do it myself ! Then, there's the "money grows on trees syndrome". Sibling rivalry is another one of those lovely "annoying" habits they love to partake in. Otherwise, they are wonderful children !!!

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

I'd like your input... Posted: 3/17/2006 8:17:11 PM
I used to have a general profile that included all the regular, blah, blah, blah... Then, I got tired of talking and meeting with people who were just a waste of time- both our imtes.... so, changed it to as you see it now... A small background- I spent 12.5 yrs w/ someone that was horrible... as I've said in other forums, it was the lonliest 12.5 yrs of my life so far... He was manipulative, controlling, undermineing, condescending, arrogant, always "right", complainer, anti-social, loved insults, liked to try and bring others down to his level, ... just a complete pathetic loser ! (I obviously had a few issues also b/c I stayed in that situation for 12.5 yrs !!) Anyhow, as I've said before, being in a lonely relationship is 100 times lonlier than being alone. So, even though I am lonely and want to find that right person to be my life partner 50/50 partner in all aspects, to share, support, love, be companion, all the great things...I am not willing to settle... we have to right for each other or we'll end up lonlelier in the end ! Hence, my current profile.

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 30 (view)

We are alone cuz we really don't try... Posted: 3/17/2006 7:38:32 PM
I completely agree with you. Spent 12.5 years with the father of my children and have never been lonlier.... it was a completely disastrous relationship (can't even call it that)... he underminded everything I did with my children, was manipulative, abusive, complained about everything, controlling and just an absolute a$$hole, 100%. Those were definitely the lonliest 12.5 years of my 34 to dat. The last 18 months have been so much better. So, as much as I am still lonely, I would love to meet the right guy to share my life, to support each other, to have someone to cuddle with, hold, talk with, a real companion and partner, in everything, raising my children (12 & 10), 50/50 relationship in all aspects, and as much as I really find it difficult to support my family by myself, as much as I truly do want to find this person, I am just absolutely not going to settle for anything or anyone. It has to be right- we have to right for each other or it will just be another "lonely" relationship- and trust me, the lonely relationship is a heck of alot lonlier than being alone !

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 63 (view)

Where are all the tired single moms?? Posted: 3/17/2006 7:24:48 PM
I was with the kid's (12 yr old girl & 10 yr old boy) father for 12.5 years and I have to say those years were way worse than the last 18 months being completely on my own. See, the entire time I was with him, I was actually on my own as well... housework, cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, groceries, school work, teacher's issues, doctors. dentists, specialists, neighbourhood kid issues... plus worked full time- I handled it all... no help whatsoever from him... but on top of that I had to put up with him undermining every single thing I ever did with the children, his complaints, his condescending personailty, his manipulation and his abuse. Personally, I am so grateful to be on my own now it's not even funny.... yeah, I am definitely tired, no doubt about it... I leave for work at 6:30 am, get home at 6pm M-F, still have to deal with all the same things I did before, alone, plus, b/c of all the undermining from their father, my daughter now shows me no respect, hence, I have her in a group for 12 year old girls and myself as well- to try an deal w/ these issues b/f they get out of control... things are improving greatly, thank heavens.... Yes, damn it, I am tired of being alone, tired of dealing with everything by myself, tired of my children complaining that I'm poor (even though I have a good job) and have no money to do anything (somehow, the fact that their father pays no child support has no effect on them at all- he's still the greatest thing on earth!), tired of having no support, no family here, no companionship, tired of dealing with the schoolwork and problems with grades (smart daughter, just no effort put into assignments whatsoever), I'm really tied of it all....Tired is not the word... I am exhausted... literally, physically and more-so, emotionally exhausted. Sometimes, at night, every once in awhile, I just need to have a good cry. Try it... it can be very therapeutic !!! I recommend it every six months- when the kids aren't around!!! But, as my children get older, and they can understand "life" a little better, hopefully, they will come to realize that I did and am doing the best I can do, on my own, and I pray that will be enough to have them turn into productive, kind, loving, great adults with the right morals and values and appreciation for the things they have and their mother. being a parent is absolutely the hardest job on earth and when you add in all the othet hings that go along with life- bills, work, everything.... I am amzed sometimes at how we do it... How do we get through this w/o going in sane?? !!!! Just one day at a time.... and hopefully, I won't have to do it alone forever...that's why I'm here !!

deew5674

Joined: 10/31/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Please tell me what sort of things your kids complain about Posted: 3/17/2006 6:47:28 PM
As far as my 12 year old daughter is concerned, everything I say is wrong ! "I always talk in a mean voice" (this is usaully after I've walked in the door after work (leave the house at 6:30 am, get home at 6pm) and the place is a mess... garbage all over the living room, kitchen counter a mess, food everywhere, homework not started, ..etc... and yeah, I'm a little upset !!) "Apparently, I am very annoying whenever I try to point out any kind of life values or attempt to teach her anything" "When I ask her to clean her room, have a shower, brush her teeth, do her homework, ...whatever, there's always a complaint or a procrastination" "I am a single mom with no support whatsover from their father and I have a full time job- relatively good income, yet b/c I am supporting my family on my own, I never have money- hence, this is a complaint constantly- "You don't make enough money, why don't you quit that job... we can never do anything, go anywhere... etc..." "I'm too protective" Basically, you name it, she'll complain or argue. My 10 year old son, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have too many complaints, other than food- he's very picky... I guess they balance each other out. Actually, his biggest complaint is his sister !!

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