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PersistantKitty

Joined: 11/1/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Lansing Area Posted: 7/2/2007 7:57:27 PM
Was a decision ever made?

PersistantKitty

Joined: 11/1/2005

Msg: 81 (view)

is it true that if you pursue a man he may lose interest? Posted: 2/27/2007 8:20:04 PM
You know, it's a funny thing you should ask that because I happen to be reading THE SAME BOOK! Now, I happen to LOVE the book "Mars and Venus in the bedroom" because I felt it had a lot of truth in it for the female aspect and most men I asked agreed with the male aspect of it. However, I was reading this book and thought that it was very odd that he should be saying these things. I thought it highly humorous that he was the second person I'd read who had a section entirely devoted to the "unlocking his door" scenario. Anyway, I went on my own "asking guys" about it and get pretty much the same response. They like a woman who let's them know that she is interested but isn't so forward she takes all the fun out of it. At least, that's what I'm getting at. Which, of course, makes our jobs as women that much harder. ;) P.S.- Um, I just found out I'm logged in under someone elses account. lol. My bad. It's Pierides talking here, not PersistantKitty.

PersistantKitty

Joined: 11/1/2005

Msg: 137 (view)

Why don't any one in Michigan reply when you send mail on here Posted: 2/12/2007 1:44:55 PM
To be honest, I've only read 4 out of 6 pages, so this may have already been mentioned and I just missed it. If so, then I apologize for jumping in, at a time when it looks like things are winding down. There are lots of reasons someone doesn't reply. Granted, some of those reasons are not very good ones, and the polite person will reply. However, it seems a few basic facts have been missed somewhere. I would like to point them out for you, so that you don't have to go through life thinking there is something wrong, either with you or the women in Michigan. First, despite the desire to make it otherwise, a wink online is not the same as a wink in real life. In real life, if you wink at a girl, she may shyly blush, could duck her head, or maybe react with a smile. The one thing she will not do is talk to you. Nope. Mom raised her right, and she knows better than to talk to strangers. You could be the hillside strangler. Every little child out there gets the speech about strangers, and it doesn't disappear just because we are on the internet. Besides, what do you say to a wink? In real life, you don't say anything, all the cues are nonverbal ones. Unfortunately, on the internet, nonverbal cues are not visible, so you don't know she is smiling, blushing, or whatever. I recommend email over winking...say something, if you want a conversation. Second, lots of guys tend to say inappropriate things in those first emails, things that can scare a girl off real quick. Stranger danger alerts will kick in, if you jump in too fast with inappropriate things. Keep it simple and clean, saying what you would say in real life, if you ran into her. While she may be looking for the man of her dreams, just as you are looking for the girl of your dreams, she is aware of the dangers out there. Take a look at the content when you write. I see that some men on here don't want to be bothered, but to be honest, if you don't want to be bothered, she won't want to be bothered either. You set the tone by how much you put into it. She will not react well to a hastily scribbled wassup. If you were to meet her somewhere in real life, you would not walk up to her and say what I have seen written many times. You have to make an effort. She can't see your snappy clothing or sexy walk, you will have to make up for all the nonverbal cues that are missing by using language. There is no other way to do it, and any man online that doesn't see that will wind up disappointed. Words, online, count a lot. Take the time to put together a readable sentence, try to spell passingly well, etc. No one is offended at the occasional misspelled word...we all do that. But some of things written beg the question of literacy. Online, literacy is number one. If you want the girl to feel you are serious and really want to talk, then you will have to sound like it, if you want to overcome stranger danger alerts. I enjoyed reading the posting about the importance of reading her profile. Nothing says you didn't care like never checking out that profile. I can't stress enough what an insult it is when you don't even bother to read it. One person, when I asked about it, said he wrote me based on my picture. Good grief! There were all kinds of red flags he could have avoided if he had bothered to read it. Last but not least, sometimes they aren't online enough. Sounds odd, but it is true. My computer is broken, and I can't afford to get it fixed at the moment. This means I have to go to the library, where the time is very limited, if I can get a computer at all. I have to compete with all the gamer teens that are also in line for one, and believe me, there are a lot more of them than one would think. After school is out, there is no computer available. Once you do get one, you only have it for an hour. During that one very fast hour, you have to get through your email and other stuff you have to do. Getting to a letter in a dating site may take a while. There is a man that actually wrote me, that I intend to write, but getting the time to do it...well, I'm using it up right here. LOL. Which is why you won't see me saying much usually. I have a life, it is a good one, and it matters. It is an effort to get online. Don't be upset if your letter has not received a reply right away. I write one nice person about once a month, if I am lucky. He is just as busy, so we see each other maybe once a year. We are friends, and our friendship does not depend on seeing each other all the time. That does not make it less a friendship. In fact, we spent one Christmas together. I wrote first, he responded with great effort, and I wrote back. It took about 3 letters, but then I invited him to join my family for the holiday, since he had no plans. After 3 letters, and all the effort he had to put forth (his English was a bit rough) to try and communicate with me, I decided he had to be on the up and up, and took the plunge. He is a very nice guy, and I am glad he wrote back. But, very important, we still don't get to write very often. Our lives slow everything way down. Of course, some folks are just looking for a bit of flash on the arm, but don't let that bother you. People who are caught up in chemistry and beauty are not looking at reality...they must think the internet will show you what a person really looks like. Don't forget the all important truth, the nonverbal stuff is missing. What makes a person charming, likeable, etc. is mostly nonverbal stuff. One man said, after spendilng some time with me, "Your picture doesn't really look like you. You really look much younger." LOL. Once you see the nonverball stuff, it changes how a person looks. In real life, you will have the nonverbal stuff, so talking about chemistry makes more sense. But online, it is all ridiculous...chemistry can only be decided upon when the chemicals come together. Hope that helps. By the way, I am from Michigan, but my long replies may not be what you are looking for either. Keep that in mind, too. You may wind up with a real talker!

PersistantKitty

Joined: 11/1/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

I changed my profile Posted: 8/9/2006 11:55:42 AM
allforjesus, there are a couple things you may want to check on. For one, you won't accept e-mails from any male over 50. In fact, you put only 18 to 50. The ones that might be interested in you, in the way you are talking, will not be in the 18 year old group. You might want to recheck your requirements in that area. I agree about losing the hat. Also, who takes your pics? I take pics for others (that is why I don't have a good one, I'm the photographer), and angles count. Don't let them shoot up on you like that. Have them shoot down on you. You look up at them. It will open up your eyes, and get rid of the double chin that everyone has at that angle. There are some confusing things on your profile, also. It looks like you are saying you are handicapped, then you talk about walking and hiking. That is your profession...handicapped. You might want to be more clear on that. Perhaps, when talking about what you like to do, you could give some more examples that would attract others that like to do the same thing.

PersistantKitty

Joined: 11/1/2005

Msg: 217 (view)

OK Niles intro here! Posted: 8/9/2006 11:39:06 AM
Well hello all i'm from Niles,Mi. 42 and a Respiratory Therapist i like doing alot of things and having a whole lot of fun...if your in my area and interested.....drop me a line...........DJ I tried to drop you a line and just say you do NOT look 42. Just wanted to give you the compliment and let you know you could pass for one of my nephews. LOL. You have, however, blocked any e-mails from older folks like me. So, I'll pass the compliment along here. Good job on the Johnny Depp look, too. Very Captain Sparrow looking.

PersistantKitty

Joined: 11/1/2005

Msg: 215 (view)

Introduce Yourself Here. Posted: 8/9/2006 10:41:06 AM
Oops, I forgot the important part. Not sure how to do it, but I will try. Hello, my name is Frank. I live in Holt, MI (Near Lansing). There, now see above for the message. I also live in Holt, obviously. I'm Kitty.

PersistantKitty

Joined: 11/1/2005

Msg: 214 (view)

Introduce Yourself Here. Posted: 8/9/2006 10:36:04 AM
:O Holt? This may feel like a small town, but obviously it is not. LOL. I'm in Holt, too, and I've not seen you around. Do you ever attend the hometown festival?

PersistantKitty

Joined: 11/1/2005

Msg: 47 (view)

Why do women seem to want men taller than themselves? Posted: 8/9/2006 8:45:55 AM
I personally do not prefer taller men. I prefer the men my own heighth, or close to it. I want to look into their eyes without getting a crick in my neck, or make that eye contact when we are having an argument about something. There is a psychological advantage that the taller person has when you have a difference of opinion, and the person looking up is disadvantaged. I prefer an even playing field. That said, I can honestly say that I know a lot of women that haven't figured that out. They have some fairy tale idea what marriage and romance is (the two are not the same thing) and read too many romantic novels when they were young. They don't think that far ahead. The ones that I know well have told me why they prefer tall men, so brace yourself. They feel big. They feel like an elephant, a whale, and some other terms I have heard. Bigger, translated into taller, gives them the psychological boost they need, because they think the taller guy can pick them up and carry them. They like him because they look smaller. When standing next to a bigger guy, a big girl appears smaller. It is the same way we do our clothing...trying to look smaller. A smaller guy, standing next to a big girl, makes her look bigger. Women have one eye on the mirror a lot. They feel fat, feel huge, etc. and need constant reassurance that they are not how they feel. Self-esteem is not high for most women, and I blame all those stupid books and stupid commercials and stupid magazines that convince them that they are elephants, whales, etc. Can you tell I have a daughter in the market? Her peers add to the pressure, including those males that insist on a magazine model or movie star, so there she is, feeling like an elephant, whale, etc. She is only the latest of the women I have known, and known well, that fell into that trap. I have one sister that didn't, but other than her and I, all the others did. That one sister, by the way, is married to a man shorter than she is. They have 2 wonderful kids, almost all grown, and his size has never been a problem for her. Sweep her off her feet, and she will forget she thinks she is an elephant, whale, or whatever. Unfortunately, this sort of place doesn't give you that chance. You can only do that in real life. In sites like this, folks tend to discount others based on written superficial things, like heighth and weight. They haven't figured out that weight changes, heighth can be both an advantage and a disadvantage, depending on circumstances, etc. When you get married, it is for better or for worse, so if you are looking for a mate for life, better not look at those things. They ping-pong back and forth too much, and you don't get a divorce because your spouse doesn't look like he/she did when you first met. Go for the person within, or you are wasting your time. The person without will, I guarantee it, change.

PersistantKitty

Joined: 11/1/2005

Msg: 32 (view)

Canada and the death penalty Posted: 11/29/2005 8:59:00 AM
It sounds to me like the death penalty won't help you much. It sounds like you need a lot tougher stance on crime, period. I heard you guys don't have much trouble, and everyone is trusting there. Sounds like you guys might be headed into a similar wasteland to what we have here. We have more than our share of sick folk, but we are tougher than that on them. I was a rape victim, and the guy is serving several life sentences. Actually, I am blessed. He came to kill me, and 3 psychiatric evaluations said he was a classic case of a mass murderer, and I was to be victim number one. Don't ask me how I survived, it would take to long to tell the story. But I did testify, and he did go to prison, and he is still there, over 20 years later. You can demand accountability for crimes without killing folks for them. I agree that the taxpayer should not have to pay to support a convicted murderer that confessed or dna has fingered them. It was the dna evidence that put the guy away that attacked me. It is pretty impressive. If it was such a heinous crime that redemption is just not possible, then I can at least consider the death penalty. That is so rare, though, and most folks wind up putting to death other cases, ones not so clearcut. Perhaps shoring up the system so that criminals do meaningful time is a good idea.

PersistantKitty

Joined: 11/1/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Canada and the death penalty Posted: 11/25/2005 4:36:07 PM
Hmmmm. Considering how many people have been found innocent lately, that have languished in prison, and everyone was convinced they were guilty...well, it is a good reminder that the court system is not about truth and justice. It is about winning. Evidence can be suppressed, tons of stuff is not admissable, etc. Granted that today, using the DNA approach, we could possibly avoid some of that. Only, well, DNA tests are not done as a matter of course yet (There are only a handful of states in the U.S. that have allowed testing on convicted criminals, which is what brought to light how miserable our accuracy is on that issue). Testing is expensive. Avoiding mistakes would only be possible if the testing was mandatory for every case, and the death penalty could only be applied if the DNA proof was positive. No DNA proof, there must be reasonable doubt, when it comes to death. It is the one thing you can't backtrack on, you can't say oops, I'm so sorry, it was a mistake. It is bad enough that the system has taken people's lives and destroyed them for years and years and years, then says oops. But at least they can finish out their lives in a better situation. I suppose, if you believe in an afterlife, you can say that their suffering is over and they are getting a great reward because they were innocent. But in that case, there is a huge argument that says those still living will have to pay, since they murdered the fellow. I think, until we have a way to ensure that mistakes can not be made, playing with death in this manner is a bit iffy. Serial killers, where the evidence is huge (like the victims are found in their refrigerator) and could not possibly be circumstancial, yes. Those guys have a big problem, and society is not safe with them. IF and ONLY if there is evidence beyond a shadow of a doubt, can even that be considered then. You must be certain you did not get the wrong guy. That would only be a handful of cases, though. Most folks on death row do not fall into that catagory. Check it out. Most folks on death row are either indigent, poor, a political trump card for someone, or something of that nature. Hysteria prevails, and a guy goes to prison... whether he did it or not is really not material to the public. All that counts is a feeling that we are safe now, our children are safe, and that terrible fellow is out of the way...despite the fact that maybe the one who really did it is still out there. Think about it. If the guy that went to prison wasn't the one that did it, then where is the one that did it. He is still running around, but no one is looking for him anymore. It is not only a crime to put someone in prison that is innocent...it also means the guilty got free.

PersistantKitty

Joined: 11/1/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Humorous occurences while dating Posted: 11/25/2005 3:58:09 PM
Very good, very good indeed. I'm not surprised Leno was hoaxed...if he was. Could have been a set-up, too, as that is the nature of entertainment. And here I was, wondering if maybe she missed somehow, got a bit wet, jumped up a little, and hit the metal (I didn't know about the coating, so of course, I wasn't thinking of that). We really are a very gullible bunch of folks in this world. You, however, don't seem to suffer without questioning a bit. LOL. I'm going to have to point you out to my daughter. At least your profile. So, does anyone have a really true story, one that happened to them? I can share one from my younger years. A car salesman, when I was car shopping, asked me out. He said he was a bit lonely and would like to chat, and I figured what the heck, it is just dinner. Can't be too bad. So I agreed to meet him at the restaurant (I wasn't all THAT trusting when it came to being picked up by a car salesman) at a certain hour. When I arrived, I discovered it was a very, very expensive restaurant. The kind with caviar and multiple waiters to make sure your every whim is met. I found him in the bar, and he had already started on the evening. Considerably! Today, I would just walk out, but back then, I wasn't all that secure in my righteous indignation. I said hi and we proceeded to the table. Waiters came from everywhere and we ordered a dinner that came out of a movie, as far as my experiences went. He, however, despite all the money he was flashing, was not too steady. When the salad was presented, complete with all sorts of additions you could select and they would cheerfully add for you (all sides were custom created at the table), he was slurring his words pretty bad. The waiters withdrew, and so did he...right into his salad. Passed out! Right there! The waiters didn't even skip a beat. I was appalled, but I was also hungry. The food had been ordered, so I ate some of my salad, waiting to see if he would come around. The waiters appeared after a while, and they took away the dirty dishes and brought the next round. It was really great food, one of those $50 plates back 20 years ago, so I ate it. He finally began to come around after dinner was over. He was snoozing in his salad that whole time. Face first. As he began to rise from the salad grave, the waiters appeared and handed him the check. He pulled out his checkbook, and tried to write, but couldn't do it. He then handed it to me and asked me (speech still slurred a bit) to do the honors, so I filled it out according to the bill and a very hefty tip (those waiters never batted an eyelash...they deserved it), then gave it to him to sign. He couldn't do that, either. I had to sign it for him. All this time, the waiter waiting for the check never batted an eyelash, either. I think he was a regular, and regularly like that. I left that restaurant, never getting to talk to him at all. I had a great dinner, but it was a bit odd, to say the least, and certainly didn't create any desire to see him again. Anyone else experience funny or weird dates?

PersistantKitty

Joined: 11/1/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Why dont most women ever follow through? Posted: 11/25/2005 3:20:34 PM
The answer lies in your question. Most of them are in hundreds of favorites lists. That should be a hint. If they have any life at all, outside of this place, they just don't have time to write all those hundreds, over and over again. Try writing women that don't find themselves in hundreds of favorite lists. You may have better luck. Is it possible you are stuck looking for Melanie Griffith? (Or Catherine Zeta Jones, for that matter?) If that is the case, and the only ones you want to talk to are the ones on hundreds of lists, then don't knock them if it turns out they are looking for Antonio. In the end, it is a time issue. Which is why that door scenario is quite good. There is nothing wrong with the guy in the hall, he just happens to be one of many standing there in the hall. It is not her fault, but I sometimes wonder about the guys standing in that hall. They can hear the doorbell, they would have to be oblivious to not notice that there are many, many fellows standing in that hallway...in real life, you would leave. And probably not complain. In fact, if you wanted to actually meet her, you would have to find something extremely original to catch her eye, and even then it would have to be something that spoke to her inner soul. Otherwise, you are just one of the guys. Such is life.

PersistantKitty

Joined: 11/1/2005

Msg: 646 (view)

Emotions Posted: 11/25/2005 3:06:49 PM
I was cruising the vicinity, looking for a possible home somewhere, and stumbled on this thread. There were a lot of pages, so I read a few of them, found myself enchanted, and skipped to the end...just to see what was happening there. I find myself a fan. I don't notice your losing anything longte, but then, I skipped the middle. Perhaps it was there. I am a fan. You rhyme. I love rhyme. Your meter is most often great. Your work can be read outloud, which is poetry in its element...it is meant to be read. The music of it is only there when read. You have music. You also show some wit, and the magic seeps into the words quite often. Your love of words is there, but it takes more than a love of words. There is magic in your vision, perhaps in your soul. Do not lose that...and don't force it, either. Let it flow from your soul, and you will stand on the highest of the mountains, the ones reserved for the great. It is humbling. It is only fair if I share one of the many I have written. I love writing ditties and limericks and the such, but sometimes I delve into things that are longer and require more passion or attention to detail. LOL. So, I will share, one that touches on the magic, which your material touched within me. They say to catch a leprechaun And hold him through the night, Would bring you wishes to come true, When comes the morning light. But if, by chance, he gets away And slips beyond your clutch, Tis nothing you'll be holding then, Except to say as much. So if you spy a leprechaun And a wish come true you seek, Then certain make your plans before, But never try to peek. Everybody who's ever caught A leprechaun or two, Will tell you that they'll disappear While right in front of you.

PersistantKitty

Joined: 11/1/2005

Msg: 362 (view)

So ya wanna be a poet? Posted: 11/25/2005 2:28:16 PM
Smyler67, I really, really liked this. (It was the beer...had to be...bit foggy later, the eye in the back of your head doesn't work as well.) That is saying something, because I am very, very hard to please. Just thought you should know.

PersistantKitty

Joined: 11/1/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Lonliness Posted: 11/25/2005 2:10:40 PM
Within the bitter lies the sweet, Among the thorns is found the rose; Be not afraid of pain and sorrow, For there, within, is where joy grows. Title: Be Not Afraid Author: PersistantKitty

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