1st annual fish picnic-Sunday July 26th 2009 at Willow Springs woods chat & forums.

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Gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 183 (view)

1st annual fish picnic-Sunday July 26th 2009 at Willow Springs woods Posted: 7/20/2009 9:25:00 PM
Thank you, Datz........ I'm looking forward to Sunday.......

Gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Tiki Bar and Beach Dance Party on Bluff Lake July 24th Posted: 7/19/2009 11:44:57 AM
Hey Sunny? Have you been inside @ the dance area? It's definitely not just country. And I believe the outside was all rock 'n roll. Still a good time.

Gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 174 (view)

1st annual fish picnic-Sunday July 26th 2009 at Willow Springs woods Posted: 7/18/2009 8:34:40 PM
Thanx for your consideration of the sound equipment. And don't fret about the Huckleberries. I have a gal. or so left from my last trip to Glacier park. Oh, and no CD"s. I'll be using my laptop. (This is 2009, isn't it? ). Any more requests?? Steve

Gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 153 (view)

1st annual fish picnic-Sunday July 26th 2009 at Willow Springs woods Posted: 7/15/2009 10:48:54 PM
I just might have to part with some of mine and put something together for the picnic. Ron - All three Marleys. And be sure to grab a gas can to refill the genny. I'll be in Chicago tomorrow. Call me with the details on the permit. Thanx............

Gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 149 (view)

1st annual fish picnic-Sunday July 26th 2009 at Willow Springs woods Posted: 7/15/2009 4:49:55 PM
I tried Huckleberries for the first time last summer while out west. Wow! Almost as good as............ as....... dancing.............(and with the right partner, is sometimes better than............) So I'm addicted to 'em now. I can see why bears gorge themselves on them.

Gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 147 (view)

1st annual fish picnic-Sunday July 26th 2009 at Willow Springs woods Posted: 7/15/2009 4:16:55 PM
Since you asked, a Huckleberry Smoothie (or Shake). If you have that, I'll be your friend for life, or at least the rest of the day

Gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 143 (view)

1st annual fish picnic-Sunday July 26th 2009 at Willow Springs woods Posted: 7/14/2009 10:13:02 PM
Hmmmmmm.............. 11 til dark? Amost 9 hours of dancing? Maybe I'll request paramedics on standby Dylan. The Dead. Springsteen. Benatar. Good.......... Sinatra....... S'Wonderful!............. Country............cool........ the Slides and the Shuffles. .......Works for me....... Your requests are covered.......... BTW............No Buffett???

Gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 139 (view)

1st annual fish picnic-Sunday July 26th 2009 at Willow Springs woods Posted: 7/13/2009 11:25:18 PM
It's my pleasure. Any requests?

Gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 130 (view)

1st annual fish picnic-Sunday July 26th 2009 at Willow Springs woods Posted: 7/12/2009 5:09:56 PM
My offer still stands

Gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 119 (view)

1st annual fish picnic-Sunday July 26th 2009 at Willow Springs woods Posted: 7/9/2009 10:37:27 PM
I may be able to spin for the picnic. I'll have to be sure I'm not working out of town that week. What is the power situation? Will there be a shelter or would I need to bring one? Most picnics only need some background sound, so that may allow me to play volleyball, right. Let me know what you think. If my schedule works, I will play for tips (and Gumbo)(lol). Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

staying friends after a break-up Posted: 4/23/2009 12:50:10 AM
I am still friends with several former GFs and my former wife. Others are aquaintances. Some, no way, though I'd be up for it if they ever decided to own up to their actions, or maybe change.

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

would you want to know wether your potenial date has a history of alcohol and spousal abuse? Posted: 4/23/2009 12:10:13 AM
Vanilli, you'd be surprised at what Honest people would admit to. But, having said that, I dated a woman who said she is the most honest person I'll ever meet. Should've known what that really meant. I asked if there was anything I needed to know about her that would affect our relationship. She asked "like what". Crazy Ex or mental health issues, diseases, etc. She said "No". Come to find out after she started getting weird that she had been in and out of mental institutions since she was 8 yrs. old. Suicide attempts. Attacks on BFs and ex hubby while married. I'm not happy she lied but am happy to be out of that weirdness. Steve Edit .................V V V V V V V V And that won't be found on public records, maybe because she is an attorney.

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 74 (view)

Online Humor Maybe Some People Can't Take a Joke!!! Posted: 4/22/2009 5:55:45 AM
Even in person, sometimes words meant to be funny can be offensive. I told a story to a group of friends where the kicker was something like 'Who's your Daddy?' Everyone thought it was funny except for 2 people. The woman started crying. I found out later that she was raped many times as a child by her father and he would use those words. Ooops. Her husband was ticked at me. How was I to know? For me, it's tough to know what's meant to be funny here. With the all text words, acronyms, bouncing pickles(I still don't get that one), swearing, pretend swearing, asterisks, dollar signs, poor spelling and even poorer grammar, I find it difficult to decipher the gist of the email or posting, let alone decipher whether it's funny or not. I do get a good laugh here, sometimes. It usually entails the telling of a funny personal story. And It never includes sarcasm. Sarcasm is not humor. By it's very definition (tearing at flesh), it is not funny. It's just downright mean. And just because someone chuckles when they call a name or otherwise, doesn't make it funny. ( I remember G.W.Bush laugh when talking about the abuse at Gitmo, just like Nixon did when talking about Vietnam and its vets. Neither was funny.) Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 105 (view)

Would you date someone who is dying? Posted: 4/21/2009 10:15:57 PM
Why not? Heck, we're all dying. Any one of us could be gone tomorrow. None of us knows for sure.

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Squatters Posted: 4/21/2009 10:09:37 PM
I seem to remember a thread like this one in the last week or so. No matter. I saw a movie on this subject where the border actually had the owner/landlord thrown out of her own house. (based on a true story, so they said). I had a similar situation once. I gave her one month to hold to her end of the deal or move out. She was gone the next day, with all my shirts. Good luck

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Why do men just disappear? Posted: 4/21/2009 9:23:26 PM
Why generalize when it was just one man? You might be setting yourself up for failure next time around if you think 'men' disappear. I had a friend who wouldn't return my calls for over a month. I found out later that he died. So, maybe your man died. I doubt if he disappeared. People can't really disappear, can they?

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

ve you or would you form a relationship with someone in another country Posted: 4/21/2009 2:55:06 PM
I have a relationship with a friend on Reunion Island and one in Sweden. I am hoping to go to France in the next couple of years for a retreat, but to also visit one or both. Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Advice Please Posted: 4/21/2009 12:51:04 PM
Follow your gut

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

What's Expected Of Me? Posted: 4/21/2009 12:43:44 PM
Silken Fire hit the nail on the head

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 64 (view)

The beat of a different drum Posted: 4/21/2009 12:28:11 PM
Michael Buble - I Feel Good

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

American Women vs Canadien Women Posted: 4/21/2009 11:29:22 AM
OP ..... Why would you get upset enough to bash me? My question was prompted by your own words and the fact that there is another thread on this exact topic. This you know because you participated in it.

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

American Women vs Canadien Women Posted: 4/21/2009 10:42:12 AM
I want a women who is not perfect--- I would like her to have some flaws because I am not shallow. So, why would you even post this thread?

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Should your past relationships matter when trying to form a new one Posted: 4/21/2009 10:18:00 AM
John ........ there are other threads on this exact issue. Do a search and you'll find a lot of responses.

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

Juice, pop, sugary drinks. Posted: 4/21/2009 12:58:56 AM
Andrew, I use Stevia in my drinks. Very sweet. No after taste. Mix lemon, lime, sassafras, pure fruit juices or even teas with carbonated water and Stevia. Not bad at all. Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Please help Posted: 4/21/2009 12:43:51 AM
Ron ^^^^^^^^^^^ Duh

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 395 (view)

Why do guys give cell phone numbers instead of home numbers ...is that a clue they are taken? Posted: 4/21/2009 12:28:22 AM
Cell is my only #. I take care of a few properties and travel. Which place would be the land line @?

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

What's Expected Of Me? Posted: 4/20/2009 11:52:58 PM
My comments were on topic. You asked us. This is what I would expect from my partner, especially if we were moving in together. If she's still looking, the rest of the bills, cleaning, etc. becomes a moot point, don't you think. I also didn't know that POF had book writing restrictions. This place gets weirder all the time..............

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

What's Expected Of Me? Posted: 4/20/2009 11:21:39 PM
OK. How about this.......... "I expect you to understand that I am still looking for a long term relationship on POF, and if I find another one, you may have to move ....... or at least move over."

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

What's Expected Of Me? Posted: 4/20/2009 11:10:48 PM
Probably to not be looking for a long term relationship on POF. You might want to look at yourself before giving her any kind of rules. Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Shin Splints Posted: 4/20/2009 10:04:38 PM
Stop running or walking long distances is a good suggestion. Swim. It's still good training without the pound, pound, pound of running/walking. Treading water may even be better. Even less stressful on your shins. It's important to rest them, though. Just my experience. Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

I can't stand it Posted: 4/20/2009 9:19:11 PM
Jealousy and envy are not the same thing ........ Anywho, it sounds like a control issue. You could move, but that wouldn't help the control thing. Counseling might help to find out what the underlying issues are. Journaling might help, but only if you're honest with yourself, which may be difficult with so much emotion going on. Or, you could Let go or be dragged........... P & L ...... Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

That awful F word. Posted: 4/20/2009 8:09:18 PM
How does 'changed' sound. For me it's a more positive and accurate way of describing them. I'd rather not burn the bridges, but consider the water under them. I have not closed any avenues of conversation with former girlfriends, though some do not talk to me. I suspect their actions during our time together have left them with guilty conscience'. Over half are aquaintances, while a few are good friends. My former wife and I talk at least every couple of weeks. Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

Dance / Weight / Fitness quandry Posted: 4/20/2009 1:30:00 PM
The way that I have been handling ( or mishandling ) the early part of a relationship is to let my potential partner know that I love to dance and would love to have a partner who loves to dance and that I do my best to stay in decent shape to allow me to dance more. I do not feel like I have the right to tell someone how they should live, but to let them know how I live, and if they want to join in, wonderful. I also do not like to carry the attitude of 'dumping' someone, or that they are disposable (as garbage), or that I could be just 'gone'. The relationship changes continually, and sometimes enough so that the 2 of us cannot be intimate partners at this point in time. These are my beliefs. I am not, nor do I want to be in control of the relationship. If I was, this thread would be non-existent. The answer would be simple because I would do exactly what has been talked about in such a negative light. I also dance with other dancers. I have while dating someone, too. most dances are Ok, but the WCS, Lindy Hop, Blues, Bachata, Merengue, Salsa, & Argentine Tango can be as intimate as slow dancing. I am not comfortable pressing my body against a woman who is not my partner, when I have a partner, and dancing those dances becomes more enjoyable when we can perform those type of moves. I've been down this road before. My partners were not too happy watching me grind with a dance partner or having our arms wrapped around each other. Body contact isn't guaranteed, but is inevitable. And then there is the soul connection. When the 2 become one and nothing else matters. The desire to do that with a stranger is usually not there. With my partner, it usually is. Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Dance / Weight / Fitness quandry Posted: 4/19/2009 6:55:34 PM
Wow So I was looking for suggestions on how to say something in a loving way, and, let's see. I've been misunderstood, called names, accused of being lazy, drinking alcohol, dominating women, hypocritical, heartless................. This ^^^^^^^^^^ is exactly why I look for more caring ways to talk to anyone about anything. If the percentage of forum posters that thrill in lambasting is proportionate to real life, it doesn't surprise me that there is so much unrest and hostility in the world. I did receive some positive suggestions, though. Thank you to those who took the risk. To the posters who commented that I would probably leave IF someone got sick or injured; I do not like to play the IF game. My crystal ball is broken. Always has been. The IF game kept me immobilized for plenty of years. Example: (What if we are dancing and I have a heart attack, and then the dancehall starts on fire and then all of the fire exit doors are locked and then everyone stampedes out the exit, only to trample some people, etc. etc.) My resultant thinking would be to not dance. What If??? You can have it. I live my life today in a way that includes pretty much everyone and everything. My profile reflects this (no restrictions). I also view my role in life as one being able to bring peace and harmony in a situation, not discord and unrest. Thanx to all of the comments and suggestions. I've learned a lot about me and about some people on this thread. P & L ........... Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Dance / Weight / Fitness quandry Posted: 4/17/2009 7:53:20 AM
Double post.

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Dance / Weight / Fitness quandry Posted: 4/17/2009 7:43:55 AM
Well, still misunderstood. I don't date anyone who is too large to dance the dances that are physically challenging. I'm talking about women who start out dancing, then gain enough weight to prohibit us from dancing. My initial post says this. (potential life partner.) Kaylie....as far as it not being reflected in my profile, I state it in one form or another throughout. I did remove some of the dance references due to the abusive emails I would receive. My life is pretty balanced, with dance being about 25% of it. My profile reflects that. And.......it's in my profile name. If I saw a profile name that said GottaFish, I would probably think that this person probably likes to fish. Also, I'm hoping to find a place to Shag when I visit Savanah, Ga. this fall. It's not a big thing here in Chicago or Milwaukee, but there are a few of us that Shag. Clubwise, I've tried it. Very costly with very little return. I've done the 'dancing with the stars' thing, volunteer services, etc. ................. Back to the original question............ If I was talking about someone I wasn't dating yet, of course this wouldn't be an issue, duh. I am talking about someone that I would be currently dating, who puts on the extra weight. Like I said, I have gained weight at times. And I don't get offended when someone says I'm getting fat. I take it as a criticism I just might need. That's just me. I understand, also, that every woman I have been with had issues with someone noticing they gained weight. (or not noticing, for that matter). So I did not go there. And I never had a problem with dating or dancing with any size person. Today, though, I know what works and what doesn't, for me. Feeble..........Plenty of people who can dance all night. It's relatively effortless when you love it. English Lass..........I agree and have done that. It's a part of my lifestyle. I hope this clarifies the issue......... Thanx for the comments............Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 78 (view)

When You Stop Looking You Will Find What You're Looking For. Posted: 4/17/2009 12:19:35 AM
It's one of those paradox thingys. I find that when I really want something, I mean really, truly, from my heart, and then throw it out for the universe to handle it, and then go about my business, it usually manifests itself right when I should have it, not when I think I need it. So, maybe it is like you said, in the back of my mind, subconsciously assisting the universe to manifest itself in my life. When it comes from my heart, and I stop obsessing over it, there it is! Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Dance / Weight / Fitness quandry Posted: 4/16/2009 11:40:14 PM
I've noticed you are, Landra. Don't get me wrong, One of my favorite WCS partners is a larger woman. She's so smooth, but..... My favorite is the Lindy Hop. High energy. Lots of aerials, throws and drops. It's tough when neither I nor my partner is in shape. Frau.... That relationship was back in the day when I was afraid to hurt anyone's feelings. I didn't like how I felt afterward about how I made her feel. Hence the topic. And I do let potential dates know how important dance is to me and how I'd love to share that with someone. Steve Edit.............. Fashionlady............... I was really hoping this question wouldn't be misconstrued. I do not believe that a man or woman who is large/fat/overweight_______fill in the blank, cannot dance. I have read as many threads as I could find on weight issues. My question concerns a tactful way of letting someone know that I cannot dip them, throw them, dance 3 hrs of salsa or lindy hop without hurting their feelings. If this person is my potential life partner, how do I let them know that the weight they put on just may be hindering us from doing more on the floor. =D (My favorite lindy partner was almost as tall as me and 20#'s heavier. She knew I couldn't lift/drop her but was willing to learn how to manipulate her body to allow for those moves. And no, we never connected enough to date)

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 46 (view)

When His Moustache Comes Between You! Posted: 4/16/2009 11:10:59 PM
You'd be surprised at all the things a moustache can be used for........

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Dance / Weight / Fitness quandry Posted: 4/16/2009 10:52:50 PM
Wodever Thanx so much. That sounds like a very loving way to put it. (Don't wait for someone to ask you. Take the initiative. The worst that could happen is you'd be turned down. Then go ask somwone else ) Edit ^^^^^^^^^^^^ I teach and have dated a couple students in the past. Never a good idea! I have also tried to put together POF parties with lessons. The problem seems to be my relationship to the clubs and bands and DJs. I can't start an event that might profit them. (Dratts!). Most of my recent dates have been from places I dance. Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Dance / Weight / Fitness quandry Posted: 4/16/2009 10:33:02 PM
I searched, but couldn't find a thread touching on this subject. I love to dance. I believe it will be a part of my life always. I don't mean just freestyle, but all of the Swings, Charleston, Blues dancing, some Ballroom, Country, Latin, etc. Some of these entail Aerials, Lifts, Drops and Dips. I need to be in decent shape to be able to execute these moves and to be able to dance all night. My partner does, too. Dancing has to be a part of any intimate relationship I am in. I've been in relationships where my partner didn't dance and/or didn't want to learn. They never worked out. I found myself yearning to be with my love on the dancefloor, not the one I was dancing with. I've ended relationships where my partner gained enough weight to make it difficult to do much more than basic steps. When they asked why it was over, I always said something like, "It's just a feeling". I never felt like I was being all too honest. I want to do something different. Is there a nice way to say, " If you lost some weight, we could do more moves on the floor" or " I just can't dip you anymore. I can't support your extra weight and mine" ? FYI, if the situation were turned around, I would have no problem if my partner said I was too fat and needed to lose some weight. I have gained enough weight at times in my life to cause me to be sluggish, and have heard comments to that fact. I'm not so sensitive, but understand that some people are. Thanx ...............Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Wondering where to go with this Posted: 4/16/2009 9:21:25 PM
Don't pass up the opportunity. Time Machines haven't been invented yet. P & L ........... Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 89 (view)

Why do so few men take part in yoga.? Posted: 4/16/2009 1:06:50 AM
May be the same reason so many men refuse to dance.

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

How do you start... Posted: 4/15/2009 11:01:08 PM
What little I read and get from you tells me there is self pity going on here. Not a good place to be, as you can attest to. Because of the quote you used, I suspect you have been introduced to ACIM. That's a darn good start. There is a Unity in your city that could put you on the right track, I'm sure of it. I was in a place similar to yours, I think, many years ago. That helped me. There are some good suggestions here, except for the 'gay' thing (not sure what that has to do with this). I'd like to add a couple that worked for me. Make a gratitude list every day on paper. A - Z Journal every day Help someone out (volunteer, hands on, personal contact) P & L ............ Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

She's Lost Control Posted: 4/14/2009 10:43:59 PM
Ah, the stuff great songs........and movies......... are made of..................

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Not a touchy feely person Posted: 4/14/2009 10:32:00 PM
I don't intentionally look for someone touchy/ feely, but those who would not hug or gave the brush-off hug were always non-physical, unless another woman was in the room, or during dance lessons. I now consider those actions to be something I do not want in my life. Not my issues. You can keep them. Good luck with 'em. Steve

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Office friends...am I trippin or not? Posted: 4/14/2009 10:56:39 AM
I have been around friends who receive texts and send texts at early a.m. times. I never noticed any having to run to another room. I have dated a few women who would leave our area to text. I never thought of it as an issue until one partner wasn't quite out of visual while she was texting. She was very happy and giggly during the 20 min. of messages. When she came back I asked where the drinks were. She said she forgot because her work called and she had to go in. I said I'd see her tomorrow, but she said no, she'd be at work till Sunday. Darn office jobs! She admitted later that she was seeing this guy in the office while she was seeing me and he was texting her at all hours. But we're supposed to trust and respect each other. My former wife was similar in behavior. I would ask her what happened that she'd be in so late. She'd get mad that I didn't trust her. Years after our divorce she admitted that she was either interested in, seeing or sleeping with someone (besides me), and that my suspicions weren't unfounded. Wonderful. Alot of wasted years. If you have nothing to hide, hide nothing. If you're not trusting her, and it sounds like you may not be, and you may have reason to distrust, why not move on? Life's too short. There's an honest someone out here for you. P & L ........... Steve (Edit) ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Bob ....... I had a very enlightening experience while doing some volunteer work for a women's advocacy center. I sat in on a few sessions and read the literature. What I learned there explains exactly what you (and others) are talking about. ...... Everything a woman does comes from a defensive standpoint. Everything a man does comes from a controlling standpoint. Now I'm not saying I agree with these statements, but I can see where they come from and why they would be used as excuses for dishonest behavior.

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

Breast Size [Do guys ever notice the difference?] Posted: 4/12/2009 10:18:27 PM
If I did, should it make a difference?

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 165 (view)

Get that dog off the bed! Posted: 4/10/2009 1:36:13 AM
Wow. please, stop fighting like cats and dogs.

gottadanse

Joined: 10/16/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Why do I keep doing the samething over and over???? Posted: 4/10/2009 12:43:31 AM
Beth, I see where most of your posts come from a compassionate standpoint, and I strive to get there someday myself, but I differ on this one. I have been with some women who used that excuse, or their friends told me they were just testing my loyalty. I gotta tell you. It gets wearing on a person. It doesn't take long before I start thinking I'm crazy. I do my best to practice patience and tolerance, but when my partner is lying about therapy, or refuses to help herself, the relationship is really looking more like a dead end street. I believe the OP is onto something and that it's wonderful that she is aware of the issue, but you don't know how to get well if you don't know how to get well. Some of us think we can fix ourselves or maybe the issue will 'just go away'. I was like that way back when. Nothing changes if nothing changes. And the OP is the only one that can initiate the change. It may not be easy, but, when would 'now' be the right time to start? I hope she finds a way soon. No one gets out of this world alive. Clocks are tickin'. Peace & Love ............ Steve

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