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aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

Hottest Movie Scenes Posted: 3/28/2007 8:09:25 AM
Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange on the table in The Postman Always Rings Twice. Phew.......

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

I Stll Love her... Posted: 3/27/2007 12:11:48 PM
If she loved you she would be playing games with you the way she has been. "Never hurt the heart that loves. Never love the heart that hurts." Love is all about trust and mutual repsect. How can you ever trust a person who has already gone behind your back and who continues to play games with you? As much as it hurts to leave, it will hurt more to stay. This will never be any better. You need to understand that. You will meet someone who does not behave like this and you will appreciate the difference. Good luck!

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 37 (view)

Misrepresentation Posted: 3/24/2007 5:16:47 AM
It is one thing to talk yourself up, nothing wrong in that and all part of the "sales pitch" but I do find it bizare when people use other people's photographs. Right just off to upload some of Johnny Depp.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 29 (view)

In need of opinions (beware, this is long) Posted: 3/23/2007 3:55:02 PM
I think the best thing you can do is to go back and read your first post as if it was written by your best friend and then imagine what advice you would give him. The sad fact here is that you are wasting your time with this girl. The sooner you take the decision to leave the relationship, or what there is of it, the sooner you will start to rebuild your life. Good luck. I know it sucks.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Misrepresentation Posted: 3/22/2007 1:43:05 PM
I should add, some people even add photos of movie stars like Kira Knightely....do they think we won't notice? One lady used an old picture of Sophia Loren. When I commented on it she said it was okay as she looked a bit like her....which bit I wonder?

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Misrepresentation Posted: 3/22/2007 1:10:38 PM
If I were you I would sack the photographer!

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Misrepresentation Posted: 3/22/2007 12:41:23 PM
I have heard that some people here have had their pictures lifted and used on other people's profiles. It is also apparent that many pictures on here of of professional models and are not the person in the profile. I am curious to know if anyone has dated someone on here with a photo of someone who looks like a professional model, and that person has turned out to be kosher?

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 361 (view)

Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist? Posted: 3/22/2007 5:37:55 AM
I am not sure of the protocol of posting this but I figure that many people here could benefit from this web site, so here we go... http:/groups.msn.com/NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER Good luck guys!

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 360 (view)

Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist? Posted: 3/22/2007 5:27:22 AM
Hey Magic, I get that wrong age and gender stuff a lot too! I will mail you with the email address of the biggest site. It is awessome and will give you lots of information as well as online support if you need that. Good luck with it.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 357 (view)

Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist? Posted: 3/21/2007 3:53:41 PM
There are some really good online support groups for people who have, or have had, people with NPD in their lives. It can take a very long time to get over an experience like that, and a long time to get away from it if we are still in that situation. It is good to be able to share with other people who have been through the same experiences. Unfortunately, on here, there will be people who don't take this stuff seriously enough.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 127 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 3/21/2007 10:42:54 AM
You are quite right Oxdrover, it is all about learning to read the red flags, having healthy boundaries and sticking to those boundaries. You are right about the diagnosis too. It is all about behaviour and how people treat you. It helps to have a handle on these things but giving it a name might make it easier to understand, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 99 (view)

we just started dinner and she is scratching herself. Posted: 3/21/2007 7:28:12 AM
I guess that date was just not up to scratch?

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 123 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 3/21/2007 3:48:58 AM
Whilst I am not a health professional, a 7 year marriage to a disordered lady and an 8 month engagement to another, plus treatment for depression, has given me a very good insight into life with people with personality disorders. I knew nothing about BPD or NPD before my marriage but made it my business to find out a lot more since I have been subject to people with those behavial "traits". I did not exactly "self diagnose". I was pointed in the direction by actual health professionals who I spoke to about the behavial patterns of these two women. The first had already been diagnosed with OCD before I met her. She told me that was in the past and that she was okay, but it became apparent that she was not soon into our marriage. After the divorce I was speaking to some trained mental health people and they said that her behavial patterns seem to demonstate something called BPD. I took upon myself to read about, and to talk to as many people as possible about this condition. After a while it was apparent that although my ex displayed many of the symptoms of this condtion, there were also many others that didn't fit, which led me to NPD. She refused point blank to seek help, and becomes very aggressive if it is suggested that she seeks counselling, so no, she has not been professionally diagnosed. But if something looks like a dog and barks like a dog, chances are it is a dog. This person ticks all the right boxes and continues to behave in exactly the same way that mental health professional describe the behaviour of people with NPD. As for the second person. Yes I was shocked and distraught to find that I was dating another person with these "traits" and can see why others might find that odd (but in my self help group a number of the people there have had similat misfortune - if not more than one NPD, then cerianly have been with other people with other personality disorders, usually psycopaths). As I did with the ex wife, I spent some time in denial, looking for other reasons for her strange and unpredictable behaviour, but the more it went on the more she ticked the NPD boxes. She did eventually seek out professional help, but then it was on behalf of her teenage son apparently. The therapist told her that she was "high maintenace" and "volatile" amongst other things, after only a couple of sessions. She didn't like what she was hearing so stopped going. I would agree with the professionals on here that self diagnoses is not ideal for yourself. But if you have a S/O who is behaving problematically and who refuses to believe that they have a problem, self diagnoses is probably the only way you are going to get a handle on them and what you are going through. I did not make my own diagnoses based on some books and the internet. I made them based on long discussion with health professionals about the behaviour of these people, then followed that up with further research in books and on the internet. Anyone who has experienced a relationship with someone with either BPD or NPD knows how painful and difficlut that can be. Both my exes have left a trail of hurt and destruction behind them and both continue to behave in exactly the same way. I know the friends and families of both people well and you will not find one person who is not aware of how difficult these people are to relate to.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 111 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 3/20/2007 1:53:27 PM
Worldisorder - NPD is not as rare as you would have us believe although I agree that diagnosed cases are not as high as other pathologies as the people with this disorder rarely seek treatment. I am part of an internet support group and I can assure you that it is not uncommon for someone to be involved with more than one sufferer of NPD. It is believed that more males suffer from this condition than females, but as so few of the sufferers actually go for treatment that figure must be debatable. Even if true it does not mean that it was not possible for me to have been involved with two of these people in a short time scale. I know nothing of your life and do not comment on yours. You know nothing of mine and it does you no credit to dismiss my post. I know what I am talking about. I have pity for people who through no fault of their own have deep seated psychological problems. I have also seen at first hand the damage that people with deep seated personality disorders do to the people unfortunate enough to be involved with them. In the case of my ex wife's first husband, that damage involved driving him to taking his own life.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 101 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 3/17/2007 6:22:57 AM
Not BPD but I did marry, then after the divorce, get engaged to two women with Narcissitic Personality Disorder. Many of these people have cross over characteristsics with BPD and other personality disorders. Run is the best advice but if you cannot for whatever reason, there are lot of good books on the subject and some excellent online support sites. Get as much information as you can on the subject and if you are a fixer, as you probably are, you'd better believe that the only person who is going to get fixed is you, because they go from one to another relationship causing mayhem in their wake. I fel sorry for anyone with any of these conditions, but the truth is that being with then is like trying to save a drowning person, all they are interested in is taking you down with them, then the next, and the next.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 88 (view)

WHY R OLDER GUYS SO SEXY???????? Posted: 3/9/2007 7:48:45 AM
I don't know, but I sure hope that it is true!

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 111 (view)

How do you love someone with a Disorder Posted: 2/9/2007 2:50:39 PM
I married someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The 7 years I was married to her were the most miserable of my life. I only found out about this condition when we were divorcing. There is no cure for NPD and the only thing you can do, for the sake of your own sanity if you become enmeshed with someone with this condition is to get right away from them.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Should I ignore the tell tale signs? Posted: 2/8/2007 10:15:44 AM
One word..... RUN

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

masturbating while your partner sleeps next to you. Posted: 2/7/2007 12:15:55 PM
Sorry, I know I should be taking this seriously, but it has reminded me of a joke. Two women chatting over a coffee. One says to the other, "I was travelling home on the bus the other day and this guy next to me was masturbating." Her friend said, "Eww, how disgusting. I hope you ignored him?" The first lady replies, "I couldn't, he was using my hand!"

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

masturbating while your partner sleeps next to you. Posted: 2/7/2007 12:07:58 PM
Sweet Fishy, I suppose it helps if you know the person whose hand you use quite well eh?

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 77 (view)

Blind folds during sex. Posted: 2/7/2007 8:05:29 AM
I suppose it is a bit less obvious to wear a blindfold than putting a paper bag over their head!

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

masturbating while your partner sleeps next to you. Posted: 2/7/2007 7:36:20 AM
I suppose they might have a right to feel grumpy if you used their hand

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 47 (view)

what the hell is it called? Posted: 2/7/2007 6:36:53 AM
Fanny batter (in the UK a fanny is not the same as in the US)

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 68 (view)

First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person. Posted: 2/1/2007 3:33:34 AM
And why do people post pictures of celebrities here? I have seen people posing as Sophia Loren, Keira Knightley and Sarah Brightman? What is that about? I am sure that many others are using scanned pictures of professional models. It is misrepresentation. Post pictures of yourself or not at all.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

does a girl have to be a porn star to pleade her man? Posted: 1/23/2007 1:54:21 PM
Why does have it to be about what a girl has to do to please her man? Doesn't he have some responsibility to please you too?

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 97 (view)

Ladies What Do You think Of Mens Profiles That List Their Toys,Cars,Boats,Etc. Posted: 1/23/2007 6:27:12 AM
The material stuff is meant to distract you from the lack of anything remotely interesting amout them! And of course the bigger the car, the bigger the pen*s substitute!

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Men's BirthControl .. Would you use it? Posted: 1/19/2007 12:19:11 PM
Ah, but how many women would trust a guy who says he is taking it (unless married or cohabiting)?

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 55 (view)

I caught a women I've been sleeping with inserting my used condom inside her Posted: 1/12/2007 2:27:05 AM
You play with fire, you get burnt. Sounds like you were using her, now she is using you. What goes around comes around eh?

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 151 (view)

how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed Posted: 1/11/2007 9:19:03 AM
Tell him you just realised that you are gay and thank him for helping to realise your true sexuality.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 99 (view)

Stuck condom Posted: 1/11/2007 7:26:57 AM
You didn't happen to see Bin Laden while you were searching did you?

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 48 (view)

Where have you been all my life? Posted: 9/28/2006 4:09:03 PM
For half of it I wasn't even born!

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 35 (view)

Rubber Guns Posted: 7/18/2006 11:49:22 AM
My ex wife had plastic boobs. In the divorce settlement I asked my lawyer if I could apply to have access to them every other weekend as I had paid for them

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 134 (view)

Single Dads -- especially sexy? Posted: 5/11/2006 4:03:47 PM
I am a single Dad with three little girls...maybe I should make more of that in my profile?

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 34 (view)

naked sleeping Posted: 5/11/2006 2:45:12 AM
School out early???

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

what should i do? Posted: 5/10/2006 11:12:03 AM
I am confused? Is this the same lasy who you knew but were not dating? In another thread you said you were planning on asking her out. I am wondering how she could love you if you had not dated? Anyway, if she loved you she would be with you and would not have gone with the other guy. Trust me, you do not want to get mixed up with a person who says she loves you then dates another. You also don't want to get mixed up with someone who says she loves you when you haven't even dated. How does she knows she loves you? Find someone solid. This lady doesn't sound like she is.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Painfully broken hearted Posted: 5/10/2006 11:05:47 AM
Trouble is when you are friends with a member of the oposite sex then tells them that you love them, the whole dynamic changes. Especially if the other person is with a partner. Flirting to many people is a bit of harmless fun, to others it is a prelude to something more. Maybe you read more into her interest and now she feels guilty about it? Anyway, the good news is that she is going and you can find someone who is free to date. You also will not have to worry about going to work and dealing with having to see her. I am sorry, I have been in love with someone who loved someone else but used to flirt with me. What you are going through now is not nice, but at least you know where you stand. If you had not have said anything to her you would probably spend many years wondering, what if? Put it down to experience and find a way to move on. Good luck.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

why try anymore Posted: 5/10/2006 10:58:43 AM
Let's get this right. You weren't dating. She changed her mind about having a date with you and saw another guy. She has not given her heart to him, she has dated him. There is a huge gap between being friends, dating then given someone your heart and falling in love. It is a shame that she found someone she wanted to see rather than you. It happens. At least you know that her feelings for you were not reciprocated and that you no longer have to waste your time chasing a lost cause and can now move on and find someone who really is into you. You are not alone. I am sure many guys on here thought they were making progress with a girl only to find that she is off somewhere else when another guys comes calling. It is hard not to take it personally, but there are millions of other people out there and many of them will not behave like this. If you had of taken this girl out a few times it is very likely that she would have gone off with another guy sooner or later so see this as a lucky escape. Some people are decent and faithful, others are always looking for something "better". You can do better. Good luck!

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

naked sleeping Posted: 5/10/2006 9:28:19 AM
I think that there are more problems associated with poor diet than sleeping naked.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

guys and feelings!!!!!!!!!! Posted: 5/2/2006 11:02:59 AM
He loves you more than you will ever know? And you have never met? Hmmmmmm You can be interested in someone but how can you love someone you have not even met? I see red flags all over this. Be careful.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

Why is it so hard to let go Posted: 5/2/2006 8:53:02 AM
I am sorry that you have met a player. Sadly it is his wife who is really being treated badly here by both her husband and yourself. This has nothing to do with this guy being special. It is all about you and your lack of self respect and self worth. If you act like a doormat then people will wipe their feet on you, which is what this guy is doing. The sooner you get right out of this relationship the sooner you clear the way for something that is honest and healthy. This relationship is neither. The guy will just go on using you as long as you carry on lying down for him. Don't you think that you are worth more than that? I hope so.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

broken heart Posted: 5/2/2006 8:44:07 AM
After spending a long time with one person it can be very difficult to start a new relationship with someone else. I would suggest that you just look for friendship right now. Get used to the dating game, because a game it is, and just look to go to movies and stuff like that. As you confidence grows so you will find it a lot easier. But walk before you run. Friendship first! Take it easy.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

How should I feel? Posted: 4/27/2006 12:30:03 PM
There is no "should" in this. You feel how you feel. It seems as though she was not the love of your life otherwise I think you would have reacted differently, but none of us can tell you how you should feel about this.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Been asked out a few times but feel i cant offer anything! Posted: 4/27/2006 12:23:24 PM
As long as you see yourself as a loser you will be a loser. You have lost before you have started. You need to do some work on your self esteem. Why would anyone want you when you have such a low opinion of yourself. You have plenty to offer, you are a unique human being. You can offer yourself.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

How do I put the pieces back together? Posted: 4/27/2006 5:38:56 AM
The sad truth is that it will only get back together of both of you want it to happen. Right now it doesn't sound like he wants to. It may be that there are issues here that can be dealt with, do you think you can get him to go to a relationship counsellor? Whatever happens, you will need to understand what is happeneing here. Even if it can't be fixed you need, and deserve closure. You don't give any reasons for his behaviour here so it is not easy to say more. My best advice is that you seek the help of a third party and try and get to the root cuase of his behaviour. Until you know why he has done what he has done, you will not know where you stand.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

is it cheating or not Posted: 4/27/2006 5:31:10 AM
Agree with everyone else. although not technically "cheating" it is not healthy relationship for either of you. It sounds like you are in love with him. so that is not actually friendship...and you obvioulsy want more. You are being unfair to his wife. If he leaves her then that is different. But right now it sounds like he and his wife have stuff to deal with.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

She wanted to be engaged and had a timeline Posted: 4/20/2006 4:13:54 AM
4 years is a long time to date, but if you were both working towards marriage then I don't see time as a problem. With my ex fiance she would not wait 3 months...the gap was because she lives in Seattle and me in London and it was going to take that long to move over....lucky escape I guess. Did you guys communicate? Was she sure that you really intended to marry? maybe she felt she was being strung along? Sometimes we say things and think that the other person knows where we are coming from, but really they are thinking something completely different. But it is done now, so learn from this and never take anything for granted!

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 283 (view)

Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?... Posted: 4/20/2006 3:31:34 AM
Sadly you have met a player, there arte plenty of those out there, both male and female. You need to learn to look out for red flags. You can fancy someone and lust after someone very quickly, but true love takes much longer. You cannot really start to love someone until you know them, and that takes many months. Look at the guys behaviour. If he cares about you he does not make you sleep in the car. This guy will move on to another and another and you are better off without him Look at your boundaries and value yourself. If any guy does or says anything that makes you uncomfortable, be very wary. Your instinct is you best friend. Listen to it, it will not let you down. You have a lot going for you. Don't let some dumb jerk bring you down. You are worth so much more. Be with people who truly value you. Some people will pretend to value you to get what they want from you. Learn that as soon as you feel that is going on, either confront the guy and call him on his behaviour, or ship out quickly. Never hurt the heart that loves, never love the heart that hurts. Good luck!

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

suicide solution Posted: 4/20/2006 3:23:27 AM
He needs professional help, but he also needs to be heard. Talk to him. Be there for him 24/7 and listen to him, validate his feelings. He needs his buddies more than ever before, but most of all he needs professional help! Good luck to you both.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 89 (view)

Sex After 40 Posted: 4/20/2006 3:20:33 AM
Anytime is great but I do think you appreciate it more when you are older. When you are younger it is all about gaining experience. When you are older I think you take more time and care and savour what is going on more.

aquarianbloke

Joined: 11/2/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

try any thing once or no never will try that EVER!!! Posted: 11/8/2005 9:02:06 AM
What is skat please?

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