I'm a man...so I'm lucky enough to have far more time than most women to find love.

Sorry ladies...

It's better to be alone than to be with someone who makes me walk on the eggshells no matter how much time I've left. If you wanna settle down for less, go ahead

asked if he was currently dating anyone, he replied that he was not

She backed him into a corner and what was he suppose to say...

Ya, if he hadn't yet broken up with the other woman, this is technically true.

he still talks to ex and that

i new it was and told that i new and like this happy befor at 3am

Ladies: let's say your SO's best friend was hitting on you. I mean really trying hard to get you in the sack with him. Would you tell your partner?

Still tempting to get a false I.D. that show's I'm like 52 or something to show the ladies in their 40s who ask how old I am....

That’s why I said there will never be a need to change ANYONE…..People change because they want to, not because someone else NEEDS them to change. Believe it or not we are all selfish creatures, what may appear as a selfless gesture to change for someone because they don’t like x behavior is nothing more than change based on FEAR of losing our partner. And we all know the foundation of such change is never solid or real.

A "cheater" in my view is one who has a pattern of infidelity in their lives and relationships, not just in their marriages.

A person who has cheated is not necessarily a cheater but has been driven by circumstances in which they lost their sense of control over their actions or acted in ways contrary to their moral beliefs and standards.

When there's a TRUE connection between two people there will never be a need to change anyone.

This sounds like the typical American woman's attitude towards men that are a little older, not pretty enough, ETC. In other words if I dont want him or dont see any value in him then she doesnt either

It is if they end their life in a suicide due to the loss of their spouse. Your first primary concern should be the sustenance of your life. If your first and most important thought is that you perform activities directly to the contrary, don't ya think it's indicative of a mental problem????? Personally I believe in the power of positive thinking. In instances of a widower dieing shortly after their spouse dies, I really think their health was kinda questionable and your negative thoughts sort of facilitate your bodily functions to cease.

Some people get mentally confused to the point to where they convince themselves they need a certain person in their life in order to thrive and survive. If you ask me, this is indicative of a mental disorder or on the border of having such a disorder.

Is there such a thing as a "real woman",

My point was that people shouldn't complain about other people's preferences. Dating sites are all about what you want ... not what everyone else wants.

It just happens differently for women, compared to men, though. Sometimes I feel attraction immediately - but with some other guys I've dated, they weren't my 'type" physically at first glance but I became attracted after getting to know them. I guess that doesn't happen as much for men, but it happens for women.

someone who has never once even said I am pretty or he fancies me, or that I have looked nice for a date

he hasnt met my family or friends, and I am not ready for that myself, but they do know I am with him

Sorry but I think we speak very different in the UK to in the States or Canada.

But if you just want a friend - does it matter if I was 'fat' or had or didn't have a specific look?

But it just gave me the feeling that they and a lot of other people are looking for something other than what I classify as a friend,

I've always wondered about that catagory being a bit out of place on Plenty of Fish, which bills itself as a "free online DATING" site.

Is that kind of like going to the hardware store and hoping to find a new dress?

..in fact the best looking ones were the ones with the biggest issues/problems/disorders and no where near genuine.

the length of their profiles/what they say/smiling faces/pleasant conversations on the phone/etc mean nothing in real life once you meet them...

If you have in your profile that you are looking for a 'Friend' - what does that mean to you?
What do you expect?
What are you looking for?

I think some people put 'friend' with a sexual-no-strings-attached connotation aka a 'intimate encounter' basically but that might give off the wrong impression.

Just wondering if relationships, online dating, POF, or just trying to date in general has made you bitter about life.

On thing I find extremely funny is when women rush into a thread claiming that if a man only finds unfit women it must be all his fault,did they ever think that the possibility of that happening on a service such as this is quite high when it's only filled with those type of women and the only reason they state this is because they fear the truth.

People have been disappointing. Marriage and children were poor investments that didn't pay off. My joy is in my work, my toys, my material comforts, and limiting myself to superficial relationships that cost me nothing, involve no future investment on my part, and that I can easily terminate at will.

Western men somehow concluded ( through their limited erudition and education through daily press and central TV news) that they can come to Eastern Europe whenever they feel like and immediately get a woman-slave who will fulfil all their needs, keep silent and stroke their ego until the rest of their life. What happens then is that that kind of man finds women over here who speak back, want attention and pampering, etc, basically no different than their Western women. Since that kind of behaviour has not met their expectations of a humble, slave woman, they rush to label them as gold diggers, while their western woman doing it all the time, or even worse, but are never painted with the same brush.

A typical story of an old fat expat marrying a young Asian bar girl lol....

However, if you took 100 various women each from lets say the U.S., England, Canada and Australia, I guarantee you the ones that you would find the least interesting and appealing would be the ones from the U.S.

Well Auntemily, just maybe us American men have a little more experience with American women than you do.....is that possible? Assuming you are straight, my guess is your experience is none.

American men want and can get Latinas, Asians, and East European women with beautiful bodies who take care of themselves and now how to treat a man. Get used to seeing white men pick these women over white American women. It is already happening and the trend will escalate.

Anyway, there does seem to be a certain population of virginal, never married, nor even kissed, single people. And many of then express despair of securing a romantic partner.

I see a few times a year. My ex is in the last category. I might see more of him and his wife if they lived nearer.

Thank God they are not near, otherwise you would have broken their relationship.

If he had thrown a jealous tantrum about me being friends with my ex I would have realised I had nisjudged him and he wasn't the sort of person I wanted a relationship with.

People will similar thinking spend their time in POF and not able to find a LTR mate. But then i guess they are happy with short term hooking.

If you don't a lot of men lose interest and if you do they lose interest. What is it? It's like men want you to, but the really don't.

but people in this thread who support being friends with exes are still emotionally attached with their exes and are really happy to see them. i firmly believe that these people should have worked out on their marriage.

The ones I sit and scratch my head over are those who are seeking a partner of the opposite sex on this site to be with. Why on earth if they have such low regard for the members of the opposite sex do they want to be with one.

By that logic, why should he feel like pleasing her if she can't or won't think of ways to please him? That's just an endless circle where no one wins because both people are too busy holding out until the other does what they want instead of actually trying to make one another feel good.

If you were any good in bed you wouldn't have this problem. Sorry to have to break it to you.

I'm sorry, but that is an absurd claim. I've gotten bored with girlfriends because THEY were BORING in bed. Women are not the paragons of sensuality, eroticism, creativity and communication they would like to believe, so when sex is boring, it's not always the man's fault.

I think it boils down to divorced people are usually not still in love with their ex spouse, and widowed people are.

Yeah, I may be competing with a ghost, but there's nothing that stops me from helping allow her to celebrate that part of her life as we move on to the next part. It's a whole lot easier to respect a deceased ex who treated her well than an alive ex who emotionally battered her.

Aunt emily and As is the poster who has a problem with the park ranger etc issue does not have a problem with a woman taking basic precautions, and nor would any man worth his salt. Nor would any man have a problem with more advanced precautions.

The turn off lies in the slap in the face approach to setting up those precautions. I would walk away from a woman who showed up for a meet and said I just programmed the park ranger into my phone, I have a friend out here watching, or I have your information posted in my car, or any other precaution you have taken. I am there to meet you and yes precautions are necesary but make them ahead of time and unless asked do not mention them, and if you are asked you need to be concerned.

A man that is interested in meeting you and getting to know you and possibly dating you is not going to ask you about what precautions you have taken to protect yourself from him

Women who when you meet them in a park or other public accommodation, will make a display of entering into their cellphone the number of the nearest Park Ranger or Sheriff's Deputy. I will instantly walk from any woman who pulls this character assassination stunt. I have no criminal record, have never been the subject of a restraining order, and do not resort to violence except for self-defense. If a woman believes there is a probability she will be assaulted on a first meet with someone from POF or any other dating site, then she needs to arm herself and obtain a concealed weapons permit. Otherwise stop the insulting charade.

Constant talk by the woman about her muscle-bound 25 -year-old son who is also a personal trainer and who is available and on call to her 24/7. Never figured this one out but maybe it's a fiction designed to discourage a guy from making untoward advances? I've had this thrown at me on several meets with different women.

If I eat healthy, and exercise, bike, gym etc. I would like a partner who is into the same thing. If I'm making a spinach salad, with shrimp and brown rice pasta, I don't want a significant other whining about how "we could just go to McDonalds" or whatever. I would like someone who is on the same page as me. It would be nice to have someone to go biking with, someone to snowboard with etc, instead of someone sitting at home waiting for you to return.

AuntEmily I read your response to the posted question with a lot of interest. My husband died 4 yrs ago and it's only now that I can think of dating again so it was lovely to see that you are in a good relationship. It gives me a lot of hope that if I get over my nervousness I could maybe find a future with somebody else.

There's quite a difference to falling in love with someone that is widowed, and loving someone who CONSTANTLY reminds you of the deceased spouse. I will say it again, it is very inconsiderate to CONSTANTLY bring up the deceased spouse. There is a difference in referring to the deceased in passing, or on a special occasion, or just an innocent comment, and talking about them, and comparing you to them CONSTANTLY.

They constantly refer to them by name, they bring up things they used to do together.

I do include his name in a lot of my conversations and of course the word we is included. I look at it this way - if you want to know me, you need to hear about my past and I have no choice but to include his name since the person I have become includes experiences, trips, and a lifestyle that both my husband and I created or shared. To know me is to know him as well.

They refer to themselves as "we" instead of "I".

I think you're being unfair to the other person by expecting them to bury their memories with their spouse. Especially since they are obviously fond memories. Why would someone try to replace another to begin with? I personally wouldn't want someone that wanted to step in and replace my late s/o. He holds a place in my heart that isn't going to be moved aside by another person.

Besides, the dead spouse is always glorified because they are dead.

Yeah, even though it shows this man is capable of deep and devoted love, every time we would make love, I would wonder if he was thinking about "her"

and if he was in a bad mood, I would wonder if he was grieving over "her".

Sorry, but I want to be the only and the best. If I can't have that, then I don't want it at all.

I won't ask about the photographs that are probably everywhere. They should, out of respect for you if you are staying over ect. ,be put in a special photo album. I can't imagine walking around in a SOs' living room in my robe and seeing "Martha" smiling down at me. Creepy.

If they have children they may resent you and drama may insue.

Well, as I've found out more, it has been 10 yrs. since his wife passed away.

I'm CONCERNED that if I should become close to this person, he would constantly be comparing me to "her"