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married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

I am taking Martha Stewart out on a date, Need Help! Posted: 12/30/2005 11:40:10 AM
Dont know personally if its true but have heard she is very very very wild. Based on the informaion I've seen on her .... Once you get to know each other and the time is right! I would suggest you take some leather slave outfits, a ridding crop, nipple clamps,****rings and some toys for her to use on you.... ouch. Some porn DVD films of S&M B&D might make a great gift later in the relationship. She is reportedly a Dom so you must be ready to play the role of sub. I understand the sex parties with her friends on her estate that are .....reportedly very wild. She might just think your a great boy toy.... be sure and only speak with permition, keep your eye's downcast etc... Call her mistress and lick her boots a lot.... her x said she likes that! ! ! No pain no gain....LOL Search for the article by her X husband where he describes the parties and recounts his escape from bondage during a where he wandered into the near by town whearing his slave attire and hid out for the weekend in a local motel just prior to the divorce. It's a hoot, The CNN transcripts from her trial where multiple women recount being raped at her parties are ...... interesting Again dont know her, dont know if its true.... but if your into that and your lucky she may rock your world! Sorry if anyone finds this offencive but I'm just sharing whats on the net!

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 91 (view)

should i answer yes to do i use drugs? Posted: 12/25/2005 11:05:16 AM
20-20 & 60 minutes to name a few, also referance a book called "THE DEA" written by an retired agent that loved his agency but, was very frustrated by the way their hands were tied and why. They were attempting enforcement with little or no resources compaired to the task because it was lip service. Thier lack of support and funding caused the death of numerous agents that he was a little bitter about. There have been numerous articles on the tobacco industries plans complete with insider documents released detailing their already mapped out marketing plans. They have even pruchased or placed options on land optimal for use to grow weed. I dont conciider it a conspiracy so much as self interest on the parties involved. The protection of their power, markets and war chest is not an unusual step. It was done in the middle east with oil OPEC wich is nothing more than a price club! for market protection.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 235 (view)

would you date a stripper? Posted: 12/24/2005 11:13:00 PM
Having worked in the industry (most club 'owners" are merely the front men) and, being aware of the typical transformation of women that fall into stripping as a profession it would have to depend on someone’s values, goals and the stripper in question and how long she has been at it. Many are gay or bi, junkies, whores and, they have NO respect for the customer whom is viewed only for their potential cash reserve rather than respected. Sex becomes no more than a tool to attain their goal and control their mark. There is no emotion; most claim there is no sexual enjoyment with a mark, other than the satisfaction of the control they assert over them. They laugh at them behind their back swapping stories and marks to get the most return. Once they are broken in and the last shred of their humanity is stripped away by their situation they are cold heartless dangerous predators. While many strippers start out just stripping out of desperation or a desire for easy money and no skills, they get sucked into drugs and prostitution (not all willingly). A lot of strippers are basically owned by the organization, I’ve seen many a young sweet naive young girl with dollar signs for eyes that, lied to themselves, about what they were willing to do and, how it was just a short term gig until they could get their feet on the ground. There is a constant turn over, as the girls are used up they are moved from the up scale venues to the seedier clubs until they end up street hookers to feed the monkey on their backs and care for their fatherless kids. Boyfriends are either aware of what is going on or dumb enough to think their girlfriend is just a dancer. I'm just working my way through collage is just one of many stories told to make them seem a cut above their fellow dancers (actually true in some cases) but, many of the other girls adopt it. I expect a lot of negative feedback on this post... It is not an absolute... there are exceptions but, what goes on is much much worse than what I’ve shared here!

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 89 (view)

should i answer yes to do i use drugs? Posted: 12/24/2005 9:09:42 PM
@The ONLY reason the federal government wont legalize weed is because it benefits THEM when it’s against the law.@ I have to agree and here are the reasons; there are really 3-5 primary reasons. 1 The liquor lobby currently has a monopoly on recreational drugs and will not agree to legalization unless their distribution network is used and they have control. 2 The tobacco industry feels that with the decline in tobacco use and their current infrastructure they are the logical choice to bring this product to market using their distribution network allowing them the control 3 The drug companies feel that this is their opportunity to bring a new drug to market and with their portfolio feel only they are qualified to produce a constant potency. They would use their current distribution network to control the industry and the associated profits. Impact: There are doctors that regularly proscribe drugs unnecessarily to patents they know will use the drugs for recreational purposes would suffer a decline of office visits within their practice. If marijuana were legal there would be a decline in prescription drugs distribution for recreational use that would affect the medical and drug industries. Legalization would also represent a sharp decline in the need for lawyers (check the percentages of incarceration for non violent drug infractions its about 60%). The criminal justice system would allow law enforcement to focus on crimes that have a greater impact on society as a whole. Inmates released to alleviate over crowding could remain in prison for the duration of their sentences and even allow for stronger sentencing for rapist murderers and other violent offenders that are now paroled early only to repeat their crimes against society. Conclusion: The drug companies Tobacco industry and Beverage producers all recognize that unless they can gain exclusive control of the potential market the decline in their own market share among recreational users would significantly negatively impact their profit margin and market share. All three feel that to allow any of the other 2 to achieve legalization and subsequent distribution and market control is UN acceptable. The information on their political maneuvering, studies they have performed and market plans is not a secret and is available if you just dig deep enough. The benefit to the politicians is to keep the 3 industries courting them and poring money into their coffers in order to maintain control. The benefit to these lobbies is they maintain their ecconomic control of the government by controling their funding they control the legislation of their respective industries. There would be a significant decline in convictions of for drug related crimes. With these 3 powerful lobbies in control of soft moneys and politial packs they each have an insurmountable level of infulance over legislation. Any 2 would block the 3rd from attaining control of this product and bringing it to market due to the impact on their market share and control of the legislation that regulates thier current markets.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 113 (view)

Re: what do cheaters feel? Posted: 12/24/2005 2:14:13 AM
[Quote] Man I feel your pain. My wife of five years cheated on me and destroyed our marriage. She suffers from a mental illness which is no excuse, [/Quote] Mental illness, cheating, lieing the whole time.... yeah I went through the same thing... we resolved it but, the pain will never go away completely, to be so used really rips one apart. Never put a woman on a pedistal..... it puts them at just the right height to kick your teeth down your throat!

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 68 (view)

Advice Please Posted: 12/24/2005 1:58:18 AM
I'm afraid I didn't quite understand your prior post. We never slept together, we just fooled around! Did that mean you never spent the night to gether and fell asleep but, did have sexual relations. If so was it some point after you'd had relations that he told you he wanted to "just be friends". If the answer to all of the above is yes, he is not gay, just a player that has already scored! No use in writing you off, if your interested enough to have a repeat performance in the vain hope he will love you what you have instead is a guy that wants to keep you on a string for a rainny day funbuddy in bed. Have the self respect not to make the same mistake twice, he either is too busy playing the field to settle down with you. If the connection is there he is commitment phobic and the harder you chase him the faster he will run. Don't give him the ego boost. The flip side is you could tell him you need serviceing and afterwards tell him about the new man in your life LOL. Your stock may go up at least for as long as it takes for him to break your heart again if you fall for it. there is always a chance he will come arround but not if you chase him. Keep looking

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 82 (view)

should i answer yes to do i use drugs? Posted: 12/23/2005 11:28:55 PM
The thing that concerns me is, the cultural brainwashing that has occurred in north america. The people that have admitted they smoke pot have been compared to serial killers and monsters that would use their position as a parent to corrupt children. It is a very sad state of affairs with no end in sight. There are a lot of addictions in this world, many are not physical, like “excessive”; gambling, porn, chat room, forums, video games compulsive eating or, cell phone usage. I've recently witnessed the mother of the bride answer her cell phone during her daughter's wedding and go out side to continue her conversation (a casual one) missing the remainder of their vows (not on TV, I was there). Statistically, people that talk on their cell phone while driving are causing as many accidents as drunk drivers and, have proven to be just as unaware of their effect on people. Nine times out of ten when someone does something stupid in rush-hour traffic or causes an accident I consistently see they are on the phone. Just like someone with any other addiction they think the statistics, if they are even aware, excludes them because they are in control and will tell you what a great driver they are. Most, that I've seen, that cause an accident behind them, that are not hit themselves, continue on their way, doubtfully even aware of destruction they are leaving in their wake was their fault. The problem is not one of use or, even abuse, its one where broad sweeping statements and categorizations do not accurately portray any one group or individual. For all the people that on occasion, have used or, use marijuana to be lumped in with abusive personalities as though none of them exercises self control or moderation is a travesty. The propaganda war on drugs is perpetrated more to garner and control the constituents voting blocks by the politicians than any attempt at a real solution. More lives and families are being destroyed for the sake of election headlines and political expediency than the occasional use of marijuana by successful members of the community practicing this personal act of civil disobedience in their own home. The irrational fear instilled in people for political control has turned this issue into the same type of intolerance displayed for religious, ethnic, lifestyle, and gender discrimination much to the detriment of our society. To answer honestly, in my opinion, do you use drugs, does help you to distance your self from people that display these irrational prejudices. The down side is people that on occasion engage in recreational use of marijuana and admit it, can and do suffer both socially and economically if their preference becomes common knowledge. As mentioned in a prior post I do not believe the question is specific enough to delineate between a heroin addict in denial and a limited recreational user of marijuana. I do not believe a “thinking” parent exposes their kids to drugs or other abuse behavior, violence, adult entertainment or negative stimulus of any type if they can prevent it. In my home, when we had kids, we provided fresh fruit, vegetables, sugar free none carbonated drinks and juices for snacks. We did not keep or, use alcohol in our children’s presents. My DSS system allowed me to control channels and the programming content available to my kids even in my absence. I am unfortunately a tobacco addict; I choose to smoke outside (never in the car) to eliminate second hand smoke from my children’s environment. I explained to my kids that when I started smoked 35 years ago the facts were not in on tobacco. I have been trying to quite and have made some improvements but, am not there yet. I’ve reduce my smoking by 66% and smoke a light filtered tobacco now rather than the camel none filters I smoked for years, No excuse sure I’m a little weak on this point but, did you know that nicotine is more addictive than any other drug? I do not judge people by what they do, rather by who they are. I must admit the stereo typical pot smoker that has no drive, motivation or, goals does not move in my social circles, how could they, I’m successful. Their brains have all been destroyed by the deadly killer weed that leads to heroin addiction lawlessness and anarchy. I know this because the media and, politicians have all told me so, and they wouldn’t lie….. Would they? Remember our own government was smuggling cocaine (agents in government sponsored air operations) into our country in exchange for the financial resources to smuggle weapons to insurgence in third world countries to topple regimes that are not politically aligned with our policies in the name of western security. The same hypocrites are illegally spying on the citizenry and accosting 84 year old grandmothers from Iowa in airports rather than be accused of profiling to better focus our tax dollars on actually catching real terrorist. I have notice in numerous threads that there is much intolerance here, if someone does not agree with the vocal majority they are burned in effigy rather than responded to with cognitively engaging well thought out arguments. No, not everyone fames disinters, some don’t even clap the flamers on the shoulder with encouragement for their diatribe, but enough do that it is a shame. Why get the facts when emotion and drum beating works so well. For the rest of us on both sides of any issue we tolerate a lot of short sightedness in the name of freedom. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone on Plenty of fish!

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 61 (view)

should i answer yes to do i use drugs? Posted: 12/23/2005 5:03:46 AM
I should have said selective enforcement rather than no enforcement. I use to live in a major city where the primary drug trade was controled by the police department. There were and continue to be arrest of their competition to protect their market. In one case crack cocane was found behind the horn on the stearing wheel of a squad car that was in the shop for maintenance. A check of the other squad cars in the shop reveiled a total of 8 squad cars in the shop had crack cocane hidden behind the stearing wheel horn. Every evening a large group of people congrigates in a parking lot drinking and smoking pot. I was riding my bike one evening and could smell the dope so cut across the lot to get a closer look at the bunch that was "turning on" in the parking lot of the local store just a block from my home. As a parent I want my kids to be able to go to the store if they want in safety and not be exposed to drugs. Upon getting closer I noticed than in the middle of this group were several unmarked police cars and even one squad car pulled through lights and all. These public drinking and pot smoking gatherings were being held by police officers. Some on duty in uniform and in their patrol cars. I hate the illegal drug trade and its impact on my neighborhood and would love to get the thugs off the street. The only problem is these thugs, all toting guns, are also the people that are tasked to enforce the law in Memphis Tennessee. An officer shared with me that he was tasked to guard a wherehouse filled with pallets of pot during an FBI raid. He lamanted the fact that he couldn't snag some for himself and also shared how nurvous he was as he learned from the watch commander that the stash belonged to the police department. In Memphis if you want someone robbed killed stalled or worse you just have to know which cop to approach. I did the only thing I could do without getting hurt, I moved 400 miles away to a small town! It was just made public that in another city the chief of police with a background in gang taskforce activity was actually the head of a tribunal of all the gangs in the city and owned the illegal drug, gambling and organized crime in the city. When summoned before a grand jury he fled rather than testify. I'd like people to look at Hollands drug enforcement policies, low crime rate and low drug addiction rate. Why..... its legal there.... ! All the organized crime and distribution in the uninted states that is drug related is avoided in Holand because there is no profit in illegal activity when you can go to the store and purchase all the dope you want at a fair price.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 53 (view)

should i answer yes to do i use drugs? Posted: 12/22/2005 10:25:42 PM
I love judgmental and condescending types... their narrow minded knee jerk reaction is always good for a laugh. When people use emotion rather than cognitive thought to base their position or allow the media and peer pressure to dictate their attitude on a subject is tragic. It its interesting that you can select no drugs and then place a positive response to smoking and drinking in your profile. Nicotine is one of the most addictive substances on the planet and if extracted from just one cartons of cigarettes, an extremely deadly poison. Caffeine; tea, coffee, chocolate, soda pops etc... If you’re a heavy caffeine drinker go cold turkey and see how you feel, remove all complex sugar from your diet and wait for the headache to arrive.... it will after a few days, you will feel very bad. (I know I felt bad when I got off caffeine and sugar, I reintroduced them to my diet and quit again… same results.) OTC use and abuse of drugs is very common, the active ingredient in Tylenol can significantly contribute to permanent debilitative condition (regularly take 3 tables rather than 2) known as Parkinson disease. The questions should be; Do you use illegal drugs, if so please check all that apply? Natural psychotropic: Marijuana, Fungi, cactus, coleus, sirian rue etc… Barbiturates Amphetamines Class C Narcotics The frequency choices should be: 1 or more times a month 1 or more times a week Daily Socially could mean every night and, occasionally could mean what ever you perceive it to mean. Ask an alcoholic what constitutes abuse and wait for the answer that denotes their denial of their addiction. Once had a relative state they were not an alcoholic because they don’t get drunk why, they only drink a six pack after work to unwind no problem right! "Loving You" I would rather be around a "pothead" than a “heavy drinker” any day especially in traffic. Do not assume that if someone stated they smoked weed that would indicate their kids are even aware that they do or have in the past. Categorizing someone as "The Type Of Person" and then making wild speculative and judgmental statements without foundation that they contribute to the delinquency of their children is very rash and un called for. You should be ashamed. In fact you should tell them your sorry! Marijuana is legal in Alaska to grow own and use in the privacy of your own home. In some other states it is a misdemeanor and some municipalities have a policy of no enforcement for personal use and possession In the current generations most people have tried smoking pot (usually they inhale too). Age showing, your response sound like you may have seen the original version of reefer madness and was scared out of your wits by the propaganda. Anti cannabis legislation did not actually make it illegal it simply required that you purchase tax stamps for selling or distribution. The interesting part is the stamps were never issued so it was impossible not to break the law for tax evasion, not possession which came much later.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 498 (view)

Class action against Yahoo Personals and Match.com for fraud Posted: 12/16/2005 7:08:50 PM
UPATE: I have proof that SEXMATCH sponsers promotions that lead to other users scamming trial users and potential customers to their affiliate program sites. (do they know?) At the bottom of the page on their website once your logged in it a link called MAKE MONEY (here is the text) Major pay provides multiple opportunities for webmasters to generate income: $25 per sign up program, flat rate 60% recurring program and $2 webmaster referrals. Major pay accepts a wide range of payment methods designed to maximize affiliate webmasters’ income – surfers can pay via credit card, check or dialer billing. All of our sites are 100% pop-up and console free! Yup, no bullshit...Unlike many programs that requires you to send sales to get paid on your referrals. WE DON'T! You send us a webmaster that makes sales and you get paid $2 for EACH AND EVERY SALE - PERIOD! This is an excellent way to bring in some extra dough! Just think, you refer us 15 webmasters and each one makes only two sales a day...That's $1800 a month! Bottom line is, you take care of us and we take care of you! They go on to list the payment plan for converting users to major pay sites. One of which is: Affair Match Individual people sign-up Earn $25 PER signup for each and every full membership and trial conversion! Their single password grants them access absolutely to ALL of our exclusive content inside - each and every one of our high converting sites! I recieved this as noted in my prior post on the subject: SEXMATCH E-MAILS ________________________________________________________________________ Date Nov 01, 2005 (time stamp removed) PM From juana_wakefield4 To (Removed) Message hey you.. finally found a guy in my city, want to chat? you can find me in livechat i'm a host there.. under SOOOO_PRETTY i'm on there after 3pm usually. ________________________________________________________________________ Date Dec 16, 2005 (time stamp removed) AM From WishUponaStar75 To (Removed) Message hey you.. finally found a guy close to my city, want to chat? you can find me in livechat i'm a host there.. under SOOOO_PRETTY i'm on there after 3pm usually. ________________________________________________________________________ The IMlive site is the chat site refered to in the SEXMATCH e-mails and it is basicly live sexcam shows site where you can chat with the performers. Access to voice and full video requires the purchace of credit units for sale on the site. Rather than do their own selling they recruite users to bring them webmasters and customers that can be converted to paid memberships. If sued in my opinion their position could be as follows: We did not request anyone defraud potential customers, we were unaware any of the users were using illegal tactics to earn their referal pay. So bottom line is, it is other users taking advantage of their referal program scamming other users. ( The perfect defense...! and they make lots of money doing it with a commision only sales force of users chasing referal dollars). I doubt they're primary focus is signing up people on SEX MATCH, that site appears to be a stringer site for conversion of customers to paid porn site memberships. The forums on SEXMATCH even have threads where the users a discussing the fact that the site and dating contacts may be involved in fraud and that e-mails sent to trial users are fakes intended to get people to purchace membership. (Another point for defense) ______________________________________________________________________ I removed the time stamp and my user name from this post to distance myself from reprisal. Since these are cut and paste e-mails I would assume many many guys got the exact same message from numerous user IDs.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 56 (view)

Would You Tell If You Cheated?? Posted: 12/14/2005 11:25:04 PM
Prudence has its place in life. As mentioned in another post by a lady. Confession may be good for the soul but, it can really hurt a relationship. A reformed cheater should bare the guilt alone and work to earn the trust they abused. If my wife ever cheats on my again.... I hope she just shuts up and makes it up to me without ever telling me about it. When I joined this site it was with the intention of cheating for a number of reasions, none that matter sex is not important even though with a healthy drive it does occupy way too much of my thoughts at times. After getting the wake up call I needed in the forums here I changed my profile and have abandoned the idea. The ironic thing is a very very close friend made a pass at me once I had my head on straight. I shared with her that I too had felt the same things she was feeling but, our friendship was too important to chance damaging with selfish actions in the heat of the moment. She is in the first long term stable relationship in her life but, was willing to compartmentalize her desires and her love for her husband and child especially for all the wrong reasons as I will explain below. It is my hope that she came to her senses and does not persue someone else. But, I don't know.... I told her that as much as it boosted my ego that she would want to be with me and as much as I would enjoy being with her we would both feel remorse afterwards and wonder why we were willing to lie to ourselves for the sake of an encounter with someone. She was very quiet, then said; So, we would reget it afterwards ..... yeah, I said, and even now I think you know this to be true. She grinned and gave me a hug and told me only a true friend would have turned her down. We had been at the hospital together 400 miles from home for two days at her sisters bedside and really she just needed the closeness of friendship and family in a time of need. It was only that the wires were a little crossed for her with her sister so close to death. That experiance made us love the each other all the more and value the friendship and our respective relationships were kept in their true perspective. We both got the validation of knowing the other was still attractive to others and desirable. I was there for her when the needed a friend as she has been for me the last 30 years. Besides it would have felt way too much like incest, I've known her since she was 14 and she, like me, is well over is over 40 now. The bottom line is I'm glad she chose me to place the wrong foot forward with and I think, feel and, hope she learned as much as I did. Likely it was just the situation and not premeditation, I don't know but that everyone needs closeness in that type of situation. Did I tell my wife, Hell no, will I, hell no, whats the point other than straining our relationship and damaging their friendship.... Besides nothing happened other than a scared vulnerable friend reached out duriing the confusion of near loss for someone to be close to that would offer her what she really needed rather than use her shredded emotional state to take advantage of the situation. Besides..... I really like and respect her husband which is more than I could ever say about the loosers she use to hook up with when we were younger. I told her is she ever feels that way again to be sure and let me know so I can plant my foot in her @ss. (I got another hug for that). You know what, I think I got more out of doing the right thing for the both of us than I ever could have if I'd been thinking with Mr. Happy. I wont lie, he was very interested LOL but then, he has a one track mindlessness. LOL Talk about being tested! She is a very very nice lady, the total package. She sounds like the dark haired willson sister from heart. (she plays and sings and has an awesome voice). Her sister survived but with the loss of a kidney and reduced function in the other not to mention, a very real brush with death. I love her too, and have since she was a baby, we all came to an understanding years ago... as far as I'm concerned I don't know when... somewhere along the way I adopted them both for life along with the rest of their family. Which reminds me I've still got to get their Xmas presents!

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

Funniest Site On The Internet Posted: 12/9/2005 2:05:38 PM
And now for some really sick Sh*t Best viewed with a highspeed connection ! If your a greener or easily offended do not go to this site it is the poster child for politicaly incorrect ! Turn up your sound really loud ! (must like metal ! ) REALLY LOUD ! Do NOT skip the intro ! http://www.stickdeath.com check out the 5MOCA motox greenville cruise

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 22 (view)

Re: Am I a bad person Posted: 12/7/2005 11:21:32 PM
I would suggest you tell your wife that you love her, want her and are starting to experiance middle age crazy. Share that you have fantisies and want to explore some if these fantiasies together. Let her know that you have desided to act on these fantasies but, that the other woman in your life will be her. You might even suprise her with a few gifts to stimulate her mind sexually. Plan some romantic dates, buy her something sexy. Purchace a wireless remote butterfly and invite her to wear it on a date with you. Book a hotel, plan a weekend, plays, dancing etc... let her know that you want her not just to make love but to have hot steamy wild kinky sex try things you both have never had an interest in trying. Plan to tease her for hours, cumming 3 times in an hour is nice... What do you think may happen when with the aid of toys you raise the bar to 16 in an hour. When you go to bed spend the first hour just pleasing her... dont even take your pants off until the second hour. Do not follow your normal routeen, melt chocolate over her breast and lick it off. Use her as your champain glass, she will find the bubbles interesting, conect a camera to the TV (you dont have to record) Wear a fur glove, use a feather, blindfold her and when its all over.... use a warm wet cloth to clean her up, then dry her off and give her a massage with some hot oil or lotion . Above all snuggle with her, hold her and make her feel like a queen at the end. Do not do anything you normally do in the normal fashion. Get a wig, buy some leather, what ever it takes to recapture the fire in your relationship. Good luck

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 52 (view)

Scary Experience Posted: 12/7/2005 10:51:31 PM
Since Yahoo how allows voice over IP and you can chat using a microphone connected to your PC it is easier to move to verbal communication to gage someones tone without the exposure of giving out your phone number. Just find and log into an public proxy that allows IP forwarding and even trace route commands and sniffer programs can make tracking you by your average stalker difficult or impossible.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 55 (view)

Hetero ppl: have you had someone of the same sex hit on you? Posted: 12/5/2005 7:36:25 AM
If you like cyber sex or chat on line then the answer would be yes...! The question is did you know that for example "BABYH0T4U" was not really the sweet Barbie whos picture is in your inbox. You sent her nude pictures in response and have had wild cycber sex on several Occasions. Your Barbie is actually 400lbs a tattooed guy named for example "Bubba" passing the time on a computer in the prison library while serving time for assault or something. Oh yeah and Bubba's fellow inmates love your pictures and have all read the chat log that was printed out of your sessions, a couple may even be in love! I dont do cyber..... and don't want to meet a Bubba or be his fantasy! In the real world yes, told'em thanks but, not my interest, I'm addicted to woman and not ever looking for a cure or subsitute for what ladies have to offer! I've since learned that some Gays refer to straight people as breeders, and they don't mean it in a nice way. Ok I'm a breeder, m good with that.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

How do you attempt to lie about calling someone in the age of CALLER ID? Posted: 12/5/2005 12:43:14 AM
You can use a star code to turn off caller id before making the call or use a spoof to change what is shows. Remember land lines can be traced wtih a reverse lookup directory so they have your location. IM comunication or entering a private room to chat on a website allows them to use internet tracking software to locate you in minutes. check out free public proxies and Go phones to add an additional layor of protection.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

Scary Experience Posted: 12/5/2005 12:06:16 AM
I think I know whom your talking about, there is an entire thread here dedicated to you if I'm correct. Search your admirers profile for recent threads for conformation. Then again I may be way off base. Really, I hope I am wrong..... but the term stalker mentality comes to mind. So does delusional and unstable to name a few.... Going to the cops sound like a start but, make sure you can protect yourself.... they only have the power to do something after the fact typically and if all they do is talk to him thats just fuel for the flames . I'm glad it was not a home number.... with reverse look-up if your published he would have your address or if it is a land line the address of where ever the number is. I would suggest if you meet many people on line and like to talk on the phone get one of those go phones with no contract and per paid minutes to make you harder to track. If they give you there number use the star code to block caller ID... Another tip is find a free public proxy forwarding site, anyone with computer skills can also track you down if you use any instant messaging programs or give them a direct email address unless you use a method to forward your communications packets via a proxy to mask your true location. good luck, be safe

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

Fun and Excitement In Georgia!! Posted: 12/4/2005 9:34:19 PM
For a weekend of fun in the spring through the fall try booking in a hotel in Helen Georgia. The town has a swiss village section with shops fudgeries and fresh chocolate made before your eyes. There is a river running through town with tubing and right outside town is the Black Bear Dinner theater that just opened in March and the food is great. The theater is just over the line in a dry county but for a modest uncorking fee you can bring your own wine, they do a lot of musicals. There is another place that does Evis shows if your into that (I'm not) You have to book your room early because they tend to sell out, lots of young people and lots of motorcycles. Its a nice place to party and there is plenty of live music and clubs on the banks of the river. They have a blowout October fest every year too. We like to ride up about once a month during the summer and have already seen two plays. Next year among the musicals they have productions planned of Charlie's Aunt and Little Shop of Horrors. There are romantic cabins available with hot tubs and jacuzi tubs built for two. There is a small amusement park rides and games and a wave pool too The leather shop has a lot of nice items and some good prices, there are a lot of crafts shops with local products as well as the cheep imported touristy junk for sale. Camping horseback riding golf hiking biking.... something for every one..... (the tubing does have a lot of kids in the water). great romantic weekend getaway or fun for groups! Sometimes the biker clubs will have a couple of the entire hotels booked The crowd can get more than a little wild during the Octoberfest

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 22 (view)

what's wrong with marriages today? sixty per cent of them end in divorce. why is that? Posted: 12/4/2005 8:18:16 AM
of the people that stay married for life.... only 12 percent do so because they are happy.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

What is the best way to approach a woman? Posted: 12/4/2005 1:43:47 AM
honestly..... inteligently ....... ensuring you stimulate her mind...... then if the body follows things will be very hot. As far as who does what first sexually, I like to please a woman and do not care if she blows me or not.... It can take longer to arrouse a woman and longer for her to climax so, they need a head start and a long post script is nice too ! I would suggest that men always focus on their partners needs first and last. I've even teased a woman by not letting her even touch my penis until she has cum several times from manual and oral stimulation. for my partner to please me all she has to do is be receptive to my providing her with pleasure. for an interesting time have a woman wear a butterfly with a wireless remote and take her motorcycle riding. Play with the remote during the ride..... by the time your ready to stop and really start to explore her body she will be melting at your first touch.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 45 (view)

Sexual Limits Posted: 12/4/2005 1:17:42 AM
afixiation is a no no in my opinion especially auto erotic afixiation.... I don't care how hot someone thinks it is .... blue is not my choice of color for skin, for my partner or myself. Other than that anything a man and woman can do together may be on the menu...... I do not think I would enjoy scat ....... I don't know about water sports..... I do not like to be tied up (control freak) and I like my partner to be able to move and use her hands. While I have tied partners up at their request it was for their pleasure only, not mine. A safety word is important during any bondage or S&M style of sex play. I perfer to be gentle or animalistic and forceful if the mood strikes us both but, not brutal! I don't like pain and have found that I fail to satisfy a partner if extream pain is what turns them on...... I prefer not to hurt someone and have a hard time trying if they ask. So I'm a wimp too I guess.......

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Ladies, How many of you are tight or not so tight? Or not so sure... Posted: 12/4/2005 1:04:44 AM
have her try Kegal pelvic floor mussle exersizes first, there is even a resistance meter available...... The vagina is very elastic.... if a woman is loose the mussles are likely lazy which is not an indication she needs surgry unless their are complications from say a child birth. Tearing rather than having an apeasiotimy (spelling) can result in scar tissue that might indicate surgry may be an option if kegals wont work. There are a range of wieghts and resistance tools available to resolve this issue. Basicly any woman can be tight even with a small partner if she knows her own body and has trained her mussles...... a trully well trained set of mussles can allow a woman sitting in your lap to bring a man to climax without moving.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 47 (view)

how do you tell her Posted: 12/4/2005 12:15:48 AM
Just try placing your hand on her hips and gently stopping her.... then change the motion tomove her hips back and fourth for a bit she will pick up on it and begin to move that way on her own. Then ask her if she likes it...... then use your hands on her hips to give it a swivel motion....same thing again..... If she ask if you didn't like what she was doing whisper in her ear that you just want to experiance her every way possible you can make love because you don't want to miss any opportunity for new and exciting sexual pleasure with her tell her she inspires you.... and then when your on top place her hands on your hips and sexily whisper ... guide me.... show me what you like. It works .... instead of asking and have her question her ability to please you, just make it part of the exploration of your sexuality together..... there is no right.... no wrong...... only trust and exploring boundries and horizens together......

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 22 (view)

Assault thrown out -- sleep sex blamed Posted: 12/3/2005 11:39:44 PM
yes, you can have sex in your sleep, On the occasions where it has happened typically am having a sexy dream that either trigers or is triggered by the sex. In some cases I didnt even initiate the the sex.... it was my partners fondling... Sometime I wake up during it or am half awake before the finish blending the dream with reality. Sometimes I've been sleeping so hard I've been told there was no raising the dead LOL none of it is something that happens often..... but it happens or at least maybe I don't remember it.... ben told that too.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 495 (view)

Class action against Yahoo Personals and Match.com for fraud Posted: 12/3/2005 12:54:15 AM
I joined a number of “free” sites only to find you have to pay to send messages on some though you can wink on others you can only search on others you have to pay to read your email. I created a profile like this: I am a guest and am unable to respond here! Please provide off site email for a reply: I’m bla bla blab la ! I am a guest and am unable to respond here! Please provide off site email for a reply: I’m looking for: Bla bla bla I am a guest and am unable to respond here! Please provide off site email for a reply: My ideal first date is: I am a guest and am unable to respond here! Please provide off site email for a reply: We should meet in a public place such as a coffee shop to get to kno…. I am a guest and am unable to respond here! Please provide off site email for a reply: _______________________________________________________________________ To date not a single person on any site with profiles all created like the one above ever included an off site contact method ! _______________________________________________________________________ Mate1 (not a single local message and you have to pay to even read the email) Hot4you Female, 38 Corpus Christi, TX, United States Iswallow Female, 40 Aspen, CO, United States Domenow Female, 40 Montreal, QC, Canada Dripping4u2 Female, 21 Virginia Beach, VA, United States ________________________________________________________________________ Message from Sex Match : you can not respond without paying Message hey you.. finally found a guy in my city, want to chat? you can find me in livechat i'm a host there.. under SOOOO_PRETTY i'm on there after 3pm usually. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Comment: Imlive.com The live chat they offer is actually a site for webcam porn that charges so many credits per minute. The link in the host email to cancel not a real link, a review of the source code reveals its easy to sign up and impossible to cancel. Even if you go to the site and suspend all email it doesn’t stop them sending invitations that are really offers to pay for video chat sex performances. There is no SOOOO_PRETTY +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Hi. Got to looking at profiles and came across yours.. My hubby and I have an open arrangement and can see other people as long as we don't talk about it. Ihope you don't mind my being so forth coming hehe. Im pretty open to most things like you, so lets chat and get to know each other on a whole other level. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I logged in here for fun, but after I read your profile, the idea of you just kind of lingered in my mind all day and I started thinking that there might be some hope beyond my terrible marriage. Please write me and tell me that I am out of my mind. If I am not out of my mind, then maybe we're both crazy!!! So you are really Married right? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ are you into married women? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Want to chaz? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ finally a new guy in my area. Hi!! want to chat? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ your kinda interesting.. wanna chat? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Hey i just got rid of my dildo,i need a man +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Hi Going threw the ads and i came across yours and I was wondering, r you pondering what im pondering, hahahaha. Im sorry, im in a fabulous mood today, get back to me. Later +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Adult Discrete: Hey there big boy! LOL! You seem like a mellow guy, and I like mellow! I am a fun girl who likes to laugh?a lot. I am still in school working on my masters. If you?d like to get to know me better, contact me! I would love to talk. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Want to chaz? Notice this is the same question from a different service, not the same picture or profile or even site yet “Want to chaz?” I did the intro subscription on HM which was the first site I found and was getting views and winks in response to winks and messages I could not respond to so I tried the site.I never met anyone and after joining I sent 120 messages, 5 people responded once or twice then nothing I canceled the auto renewal and sent the site people a nasty message. Views of my profile during the free membership were 50 a week after joining they dropped to 4 views a week and no messages! Profiles for no strings hot sex now women do not have any of their interest filled out at the bottom only the general info desire and what they are looking for sections at the top of the profile are ever completed. I’ve seen at least one picture used on profiles from other cities. Oh also getting the Russian bride contacts ! Hornymatch All responses are basicly one liners no mater how long a letter you send and in closing offer real time chat options Response for off site contact information and failure to meet for arranged chat sessions when I sent an ICQ ID MSN YAHOO etc…. _______________________________________________________________________ well, lets chat and see what happens....whats your name???? hope to hear from you soon _______________________________________________________________________ Ohhh sorry but I can’t use yahoo, cuz I would have to be by the computer the whole day, !There is a lot of people that wanna chat with me here! Let’s stay ok? _______________________________________________________________________ hey baby sorry, I’ve been having some computer problems and wasn't able to get on, so how’s things? _______________________________________________________________________ possible after i learned to trust you and to know you better , why not? _______________________________________________________________________ Im not good with the whole download and install program thing. I need a friend from work to do it actually. Maybe ill ask around and see if someone can help me. For now lets just chat here though. _______________________________________________________________________ I do but I don't give it out to complete strangers. _______________________________________________________________________ sorry I didn't get a chance to get back to you earlier, I've been having some computer problems _______________________________________________________________________ Thanks for the address, i'm sorry but i still don't have my personal email. PLease forgive me since it took so long to get back to you, i've been off for a while, but i am interested. _______________________________________________________________________ Note OK Cupid is free and if your in your 20s you might meet someone there.... I;m too old for the girls there, not that it matters. I'm no longer looking and my education only cost me a small amount of money and a large dose of foolish with an overdose of middle age crazy

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 151 (view)

What was the specs of your first computer?? Posted: 12/2/2005 9:06:18 PM
Not the first computer I used, but the first one I build and owned was: 12mhz 80286 PGA CPU (overclocked to 15.8mhz) 4 megs of Extended ram (DIPS) 2 meg LIMS card (Expanded memory) st506 RLL controller with a referb server drive I paid over $300 for with a full 65 meg of space on the primary drive and a 30meg Seagate R238 QB2 external bus expander with 10 2400 baud hayes compatable modems Duel floppies 5 1/4 and a 3.5 256k VGA video card DOS 3 running RA This was before sound or CDs It cost me about $3000 to build it That may not sound like much but at the time most people that had computers were running 8088 with 10 meg drives and 128k EGA video I just ordered the parts tonight for my latest system AMD duel core 4400 with twin pci express LSI video cards with a half gig of ram DVD burner, DVD player 2 160gig drives 650wt ps and a 8ms 19" wide screen LCD panel.... systemboard is an ASUS A8N SLI Premium with 2 gig of PC 3200 ram Not a true screemer but a very respectable game box

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

A+ Exam Posted: 12/2/2005 8:34:15 PM
I took the A+ so long ago it was a 3 modual test back then. I was afraid to take it because I had this prictice CD that I failed and failed and failed. What really got me is when I went to the test center and took the actual test it was nothing compared to the practice test.... I'd worried for nothing. I aced the darn thing ...... I agree there is little value in the test but it will get you in the door somewhere and all the studying can only help. Some of the answers on the test are incorrect or at least they use to be. Does anyone care that the type of motor in a drive is a voice coil or that older drives had stepper motors or the first PC bus was the S100 in the old Altair which was only available in a kit...... nope useless info till trivial pursue comes up with a hardware nurd addition. Which might be the only one I'd be good at....

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 124 (view)

Thoughts on cheating and the dynamics of a marriage... Posted: 12/1/2005 10:58:22 PM
In the core of your being you are scared to death of your wifes response. If you suggested swinging or an open relationship she may say yes then what....though you may not admit it here it worries you. (1) She rakes you over the coals you loose her trust, the plan backfires and then you can't cheat without the fear that she will learn of it and drive away with the house kids the S600 and half! (2) She says yes and has no end of offers... she finds a lover that see's her worth and makes her feel more alive than you ever could. In a swinging situation she discovers no man ever made her feel like the other partners wife.... You on the other hand are sitting in the corner neglected.... In retrospect you realize you can not put the genie back in the bottle.... You try to recapture what you've had but she has grown to love the new life style.... dinner is in the fridge..... don't wait up! Your less conserned about pimping your wife out than she will outgrow you or see through you! and won't need you anymore. You are in love with the idea of cheating but, either want to do it with a married woman to be safer from STDs or you want someone that can share your guilt. The thought of screwing another mans wife turns you on as much as the thought of cheating on your wife. You like the self distructive danger involved so will not show your wife the respect or trust to explore this desire with her and see if she wants what you want. Go to counceling before it is too late or try http://www.realdolls.com/ I'm not hollier than thou, I too considered it and, do not have the fantasic marriage you claim to have....my wife cheated rather than accept the offer of an open relationship I proposed when we were dating and planning our future. Life was hell for years for both of us... trust fear guilt self loathing fighting .... with kids in the middle of all of it! I've come to my senses, I wont be the one to let pandora out of the box, I've seen the distruction.... Honestly it was getting raked over the coals here that really made me thing about what I was doing ..... made me evaluate my plans.... look at the future and think of the cost. I owe the people on this site for helping me to get my head on straight again.... I hope for the same results for you... You need to come to your senses before you loose everything. FYI: Trying the online dating thing is very dangerous.... there are groups that will suck you in..... a woman will plan to meet you..... the first time it will be to get to know each other..... the second time it will be to introduce you to your wife who knows everything has pictures from your prior date and was watching you in the wings... You may end up with your pictures and name on a website on the cheaters shame list and in divorce court with grounds! A friend of mine was cheating on her husband.... she desided to leave him to live with her new lover..... They came home late one night not knowing her estranged husband broke in earlier and was was in the spare room with a gun.... he waited until they were curled up on the floor together in front of the fire place.... first he shot her..... then he shot her lover multiple times.... he left the scene firing at her again as she lay slumped in a chair in a pool of blood still bleeding. Later shot himself in the head sitting in his wifes SUV in the parking lot of a truckstop in Temple Georgia. He lived for about 3 weeks in Grady hospital in a coma. On a lighter note his cheating wife and her lover lived..... they both spent a long period in the hospital and the lover had many operations and is still under going treatments and will never fully recover..... The kids do not understand why daddy shot mommy and then himself...... Thier family was ripped apart.... at least only one died instead of all three but..... it was a near thing.... When I see her coming I go the other direction as all she does is tell the story over and over in graphic detail...... She lived but it really screwed up mentally as well as physically by what she has done. Tell your wife to buy a wig, let her choose a name agree, to meet at a bar, have her buy a new dress and something from victoria secrets and not let you see any of it till your at the bar and do a little role playing go to a hotel and get over it..... Its far safer than an STD or a 38P semi jacketed hollow point slug though the chest..... left arm and lower back...... Nice story, but is it true: Search on Ricky or Richard Linder.... Try http://www.ajc.com or an atlanta newschannel site Now that..... is an adventure...... are you up for it ? No I'm not trying to get on your case just, make you go ...... Hmmmm! Before you make the news too....... might only be in the divorce announcements ...... might be in the obits..... Might be on the cheaters outed website..... maybe all three...

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

What's with asians and being shy?? Posted: 12/1/2005 9:46:11 PM
I think it is founded in the tradition of the culture where the women are subs to the men. Marriages are arranged and respect for the family is held above all. It is not that they may not be interested, their family would never accept someone from outside their culture. The nurvous laugh is a defence. Even modern women can be effected if the prior generations and parents are strongly traditional. To loose face and disgrace their family is culturally far far worse than someone from outside their culture could ever understand. Since family and honor is everything to shame ones family shames all of their forberers and even the desendance would carry their shame. If you meet an americanized asian woman this is not an issue but, for one from a traditional family that is new to our country she is under pressure that an american may not understand. Her fathers word is law and reguard is more important than their own happyness. Well thats what I've heard and read...... I may be all wrong.. But I did stay at a ......

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

how about no hair on a woman? Posted: 12/1/2005 7:40:32 PM
Grace......Black or IMON something or other .... anyway she is a tall nubian supermodel that I think was married to David Bowie at one point or maybe still is. She was bald at one point and did not seem to be having any trouble booking work and movies and many of the jet set fellows chased her till she married. Bald women can be sexy.... remember Star Trek the movie the leading lady was bald and sexy sexy sexy !

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 154 (view)

Married but tempted Posted: 12/1/2005 2:32:51 PM
Wasn't talking to you PB its all good TG and D I invited people to read a specific thread the one that was quoted here was not that one. She dug up one from another thread entirely LOL As for baiting she got nasty first... I ignored it and reponded with more info and she only got worse so yeah I slammed her..... its not something I usually do. The reason I have post that cover both sides of any issue is, I love to play devils advocate and depending on a thread and how it is going I could post on one or the other side of an issue. I find that doing this helps me evaluate my own position rather than act on emotion. Sometimes it even changes my mind as once I research something I may find I was wrong before. I'm glad I read the forums as with the other fellow that posted on the prior page I was concidering cheating also because I don't get much sex... The people on this site have helped me to accept that what I planned was wrong (I knew anyway) and basicly you folks gave me a reality check. I'm not a cheater at heart or I'd have come on here and lied my way to my goal instead I'm married_guy I think I was looking to be talked out of cheating to start with or I'd have named myself single_lookin or something. If someone disagrees with me I can accept that as long as they use the facts and logic that is well thought out. If they are just shooting from the hip and speculating then I'll give them more info. If they still defend their opinion comments from the cuff or start with backhanded comments and slurs such as your being told to "grow a pair" well then they are fair game for fun. If, like me, on occasion their disagreement is based only on opinion and attitude then its a chance for both of us to learn and enjoy a lively debate. I'm not someone that has to be right all the time and will admit it when wrong. Hope I didn't give you to hard a time.... I'm here to make friends and have fun now that my head is on straight. I still plan to take on issues from what ever side is the least popular..... thats normal for debating teams and much harder if you were on the other side of the issue personally. If someone cant take it they should not dish it out..... Yes I stepped over the line by responding in kind once they left logic behind and got personal... They made comments in other threads about fighting with myself and I think you may have been the other one . No names mentioned just genneral slaps about how stupid we both are etc... I must have a strange sence of humor because I enjoy rattling the cage

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 147 (view)

Married but tempted Posted: 11/30/2005 9:56:53 PM
I wa not aware that you were everyone, I seem to have bothered you so much that you've looked up post from other threads even.... Yes please walk away..... your stalker like qualities creap me out! I have gotten words of encouragement from many people.... I'm right on the money about your speculations without foundation and your personal vendeta. Someone even shared, I didnt ask some of your pearls about the Battle you are having with me on the forums... Let it go.... as I said you dont know me and I for one would not want to know you ! I didnt get nasty even after the first time you were but I'm not going to spend my energy to prove it by searching the forums for some of your stellar post. You have my pitty and have earned the distain of just as many people as I have. Though you claim your walking away.... you can't help your self... this observation might shame you into not responding but, I'm sure it won't stop you from coming back and reading it and I know that will just eat your lunch

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 100 (view)

Why Do People Do This? Posted: 11/30/2005 9:30:46 PM
I've seen many women and men all do the same thing so the question is why do people do this. A woman wants her husband to be a caring whitebread type of fellow and feels this type of man wants a moral reserved woman. Guess what..... when it comes to marriage most men want the same thing in a woman. What happens is men and women both put up a front so they can capture the heart of someone special that will love and respect them. They don't want their perspective mate to see what a kinky wild wanton freak they are so thus begins the games by both sides. The sudden lets be friends speach may be not really a fear of commitment so much as realising they are signing up to play this moral whitebread role for life. If I had a nickel for every freak couple I've seen that were both lying to each other about their true interest and sexual desires and needs I'd be rich. The same partner that wants to wait until they are married for sex or limits their sex together to boring tameness to hide their nature is going off with others and one or both are acting like road wh0res when they are not together or were until they found each other in any event. If people would stop lying to each other and admit their true nature they might get married, swing or at least do everything a man and woman can dream of together and love every minute of it. My wife and I have the same problem, I was a single kinky freak and loved it, orgys swinging 3 ways toys ropes whatever was all good! She was too but, unlike me, she would not admit it. The only time she can be her self and admit what she likes and beg for more is once she has had a few drinks. The rest of the time it was Catholic guilt and oh thats nasty and how can you love me and want to do that..... These lies and the resulting cheating really piss me off, its brainwashing of the worse kind! .... She felt the only time she could be her self was when she was tight or with other people that she was not in love with and just wanted to bang her brains out like the slut she wanted to be. Drunk she was ready to be a pornstar and do everything you've seen in the wildest porn movies. Love and desire for a good spouse should not mean people have to pretend to be something they are not. Sex of any type among mutually consenting adults should not be limited to what is politically correct but, for some twisted people it is. I expect the woman this thread is about, has or had people that serviced those wild kinky and healthy needs, she just may feel she can only be honest if love is not involved and the exectations of what a good woman or man is wont doom the relationship if they show their true colors..... just like many men ! FYI: If a man has the worst sex of his life with a woman and is a talker he will tell everyone how fantastic it was and how they should be so lucky as to have such a hot freak in their bed. If a woman has the worst sex of her life she will tell her friends in detail just what a sad and pathetic lover she waisted her time bedding. Of course if it really is good she will say so and then some of her friends want a ride too! and even try to get one! Men never put any stock in what other men say about how good a woman is in bed as the know any man would usually rather lie than admit the sex was bad. With women, if they say it's good their friends will grab that guy behind their friends back and try him out too! When I was single I loved word of mouth advertising as it got me laid a lot and well !

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 179 (view)

Can you forgive a one time cheater? Posted: 11/30/2005 8:43:27 PM
I think it depends on your maturity, your core values and the depth of your love and commitment to your straying partner. You can regain the trust but it takes years and sometimes you still can't help but worry. There are degrees to cheating as well and though all of them hurt some are worse than others. (1) Had a few much to drink and ended up a regretible one night stand. "The unplanned sexcapade while blind, make no mistake the drink only lowered the resistance to something someone wanted to do anyway that they might otherwise not had the guts or poor judgement to follow through with. (2) Premeditated no strings sex where the attraction was purely physical. "No Strings Planned with discretion" is harder to deal with as it can make one feel like something is missing in the relationship if their partner has to turn to others for satifaction even if it is just a sex addiction where reguardless how much your partner is pleased by you they crave multiple partners but at least they had the sense not to play in your own back yard. (3) No Strings Planned in your circle of Friends "No Strings Planned indescrete" This is very hard to forgive as there can be no doubt they didn't care who knew or if you found out and in my opinion is the hardest to deal with as it shows the highest level of disrespect. (4) Unplanned Affair "It just happened and they gave in to their feelings" Not only has your partner cheated there was passion, infatuation and perhaps even love. This is not very easy to put behind you as they have not only had sex with someone they made love which while not as public as buddyF#cking your friends the fact that they could be in love with someone else and maybe even have fallen out of love with you is heart rending and its not just a question of will you forgive them. Its a matter of do they care to save the relationship or move. It is easier to deal with if your not possesive and do not equate love with ownership. This could even lead to an unexpected open relationship and all that implies. Personally I survived a combination of all of the above types of cheating and it almost ended in divorce. The sence of abuse you feel is beyond words, my spouse made it clear she knew she had made a mistake and wanted to make it up to me. It took years to get over it and begin to feel she was serious about saving our marriage. I'm not proud to say I was less than kind for a long time. I don't know about once a cheater always a cheater but do know that even though our relationship came out stronger in the end, its still a sore point with me. I later learned that it was an addiction and that she continued to cheat even after we worked to recover from the pain of the cheating I knew about. Unlike some people I am very open minded and not only would have enjoyed swinging together I even suggested it before we were married and was turned down. For me the cheating was not as big an issue as agreeing to monogomy and only to find it was don't ask don't tell. I have no doubt that due to her wanting to have her cake and eat it too mentality If I had been the one cheating the outcome would have been faital to our relationship and much worse than just being cruel and selfish. I hate cheating, I'd rather be there and take turns with a video camera and both enjoy sex with other people and love with each other. Now if someone is religious or follows a strict moral code none of the situations would end with forgiveness and the only change there would not be a divorce is if religion pervented it. Ironicly some people that could not agree to a divorce were willing to turn their backs on their moral code or religion in order to cheat in the first place. I recently considered cheating my self as due to illness and medication my partner no longer has a sex drive to speak of. It offends me that I would have to stoop to the same level my partner did because even after cheating on me... she would go balistic if I did the same thing and she will never accept an open relationship. So my options are no sex or don't ask don't tell.... I do not like either option ! Note: Divorce is not an option, for information on the reasons see my thread on; "Cheating is Nothing" compared to pain and loss.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 143 (view)

Married but tempted Posted: 11/29/2005 11:39:03 PM
To: amberzamber Well I've tried to be nice, it is interesting how you love to twist everything and are so judgemental of others. I never said I could only be commited with a ring on my finger thats your spin not mine. When you learn to be a little more open minded less judgmental perhaps you will be a little more adult. Rather than rip your head off I gave you more information but, honestly your insight or lack there of is astounding. You might want to try communicating with people rather that passing judgement or speculating that they haven't taken the basic first steps in a situation. How can you be so oblivious and yet offer your less than sagely wisdom from atop your high horse. Do you think if things are so bad she has to have ECT we would not have jumped through every hoop we could find first. I'd hire a witch doctor if i thought it would help and scarfice chickens naked in the moonlight. You seem well bitter but that is only my perception not a judgement call. I don't just fill perscriptions I keep the inventory and dispense them from my medication safe several times a day I go to every appointment with her. I worked two jobs for years while caring for my spouse raising my kids and doing 90% of all the cooking cleaning home care lawn and auto repair. I've had to let one job go and work from home a lot because my spouse can no longer be left alone ever. Even with someone there, I stay in constant communication via cell phone. I do the shopping among other things in the middle of the night once her evening medication knocks her out. I think it come under ...or worse, in sickness and etc... You stayed 10 years and divorced, how nice for you, was it a heavy cross you bore? I've been married 25 years. and in this relationship for 27 years plus. This is not a case of leave and be friends and still help from 3 flight hours away. This is a case of 24x7 home care and I can't afford to hire someone to help us. We do not have visitors ever, we have no family to assist. We are eaten alive by the medical expenses even after the insurance. Just my copays was over $18,000.00 in 2004 alone, it is much much more now. I make too much money for any assistance so, after we pay the bills we live on very very little. Sure we'd have more if I took a $40,000.00 pay cut because then you could pay my bills with your tax dollars. I don't want that and would rather live small and pay our way than take a handout. I dont know what you have been through but few people go through what we do.... I mentioned there was more and there is, I'm not only her guardian, I'm her brother's too but, thank god he qualifies to be in a care facility with a staff, he is 6'2" and wieghs in at 250 and is strong as an ox. His mental age is 2 years old and He lived with us from the time he was 8 years old until he was 23. He was on a waiting list for over seven years to get into a home and there is more much so much more... Do not presume to say I am merely giving excuses YOU DO NOT KNOW ME ! What you call excuses I call responsibility.... ! ! ! If I wanted a divorce and walked away that would be the cowards way out. You told whats his name to grow a pair and may be he deserved it but you seem to be cut from the same cloth in fact why don't you grow a pair..... you should learn compassion, be a little more open minded and, less quick to judge others.... Are you on the list for a donor heart..... if not you should be ! ! !

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 138 (view)

Married but tempted Posted: 11/29/2005 7:15:59 PM
Considering how nasty some of the responses have been I really considered responding in kind but, deleted my tirade after I thought better of it . It would serve no purpose other than to make me feel better momentarily. When you hit people over the head for inserting their foot in their mouths for various reasons well they tend to become even more close minded. We have been in family counceling, marriage counceling both individually and together as well as a number of other programs including retreats for couples. Special diets that required hours of prepreperation for many of the meals turning the weekends and evenings to cooking marithons, exercise programs of all types, we have enough equiptment to rival a small gym. Not only have we tried every every medication available on the market that offered a chance for normality. We have participated in medical studies so we could try medication that is not available to the general public yet. The level of proscribed hormones she is on has even ended her normal cycles, yes which were contributing to the severity of our problems. The doctors have even suggested forced menapause through surgery.... Since she is already experiancing chemical menapause were are taking a wait and see mind set on the surgery since they are not sure of the effect. We have been advised it can not be reversed if it makes matters worse. After all this, the medications and hormones have not been very effective resulting in a complete breakdown, bouncing between long periods in a mental care facility due to phycotic episodes where she was considered "a danger to her self and others" and an all day out patent program 8 hours a day 6 days a week. She was returned to the hospital where she under went months and months of ECT. Electro Convulsive Theropy which is where they strap you to a table, attach electrodes and crank up the power and fry your brain. As a result she has lost years of her memory and it has changed her personality noticably. Likes and dislikes TV programs, books, food interest have changed quite a bit. Yes I am weak, I considered and rejected finding a partner for sexual gratification. I joined this site and have been very honest about my feelings here, no games or lies to fulfill my fantasies. There are few man alive I would expect have not looked on a woman other than their wife with lust. Its a normal thing to hear one guy point out a woman to another guy and say something to the effect "What I wouldn't give to have her just once". Its just a thought and like me they typically never follow through partially because the object of their desire is just a fantasy and they know they would feel they had failed themselves and their spouse even if that spouse never learned of it. If you review my profile you will see that I've found entertainment in raising hell and playing devils advocate in the forums which i enjoy quite a bit. Sure I miss sex who wouldn't.... I miss making love to my wife even more. Sex is not love and love is not sex. But when you love someone and make love with them it is better than the hotest sex one could ever have and thts what I miss the most. To all the people that think I should leave my wife and file for divorce I only have this to say..... Is that what you will do or did when your loved one needed you the most. I can't and won't do that.... rather I will continue to be supportive in the hope that one day she will find if not a cure then at least a treatment that offers balance. If she also has sexual desire again that would be a bonus but truthfully not a requirement. Sure she cheated on me, yes it hurt, no I would not want to hurt her or get even or anything as petty as that. I offered her the opportunity of an open relationship before we married and was turned down. I don't know why she felt it was better to cheat I never will, its just not that important. If you love someone enough you do not have to own them, you just want to make them happy. I don't know what is illness and what is just a bad choice on her part, I'd like to think the choice is a result of the illnesses impact on her self image and need for validation along with insecurity. Since her mother lives with the same mental problems and our daughter is getting worse every day I can not seperate one issue from the other. Thank you for your time..... Married Guy

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 136 (view)

Married but tempted Posted: 11/28/2005 11:28:07 PM
To: t,d and h You without a doubt did not read the post in the other thread that explained the situation. :cheating pain and loss.... Your lack of empathy is typical of a testosterone driven neanderthal that has no conception of responsibility. So you perceive me to be crying.... no, just honest. You have not walked in my shoes but, as this is a free country you have every right to disagree with my choices. I will not leave a mentally ill woman over which I have become the appointed guardian. (1) I love her (2) I was aware this was a possible future for her stability and chose not to deny my love because life might be hard. My understanding that she is not available goes far beyond selfishness or your blatant slap because, I'm sad at times for both of us. I at least have her and that is far better that not having her since on more than one occasion she was one breath away from death. I believe mentioned it is not her fault, no one would choose to be in her shoes any more than they would mine. I truly feel for you, but admit I grow tired of the self righteous one dimensional comments that show a decided lack of depth and depend on axioms and peer approval to gage their merit. I was not aware that my barb about the fact that you posted that your lady is a member of this site yet your profile says you met a lady locally would strike so deep. You have my heart felt apology. I suppose it could be you met a woman on this site that is local to you and were simply unclear in your explanation. I will not speculate further as I DO NOT KNOW YOU! I explained when you didn't understand a prior post targeted to people that cheat and took it personally what the fact were then too. .......hmmmm.. Please continue..... I've an unlimited supply of mental popcorn to enjoy... but then you’re far too easy a target lol. As I mentioned previously, I have desire, desire is as much a sin as action. Tell the world you have never looked at a hot woman while in a relationship and imagined what it would be like to be with her if only for an hour. If you are honest, you are as guilty as I. My profile mentions I have desire it also states that the forums here are enough and that desire would best remain a fantasy...... Did it state that from the start no, I searched my heart and weighed my desire and made my choice long before you ever responded to one of my post? Yes I did prior to that send and, receive a few emails that were limited to introductions and were very forthright in their approach... One thing I learned about marriage only after I was married is that many women cheat. If I had a nickel for every time there was an offer from a married woman I'd have a very full piggy bank. The first few times it happened I was honestly shocked. What they don't tell you is that married woman like married men..... They feel safer that way. Many pretend to be unavailable, if you’re single, if you’re married they can be quite bold. Once more some of the bold ones yell the loudest about how repugnant cheating is and in the next breath offer themselves to another woman’s husband. I'm nothing special but, have had to make a point of never being alone with the wives of several of my friends and married coworkers because of that fact. Isn't life strange...? I considered a site like this to meet someone rather than accept any of the offers in my own backyard. I guess for these ladies it’s about opportunity with someone they know and feel won’t say anything. It’s a fine line to turn someone down without turning them down and damaging your friendship with them or their husband. The only one that ever really tempted me was the wife of a friend I knew was banging at least three other women. He was a fool.... he was so busy playing the field, he lost her to someone else, she was neglected far too often. I hear she married her boyfriend after the divorce and they have had 3 kids together last I heard. I ran into her again...years later... she let me know her husband works a lot..... I've not seen her again since that chance meeting. If you only new the truth.... women are far far more active after marriage than men. Who'd have thought it, and locker room talk, fellows you tell everyone how great it was... women tell each other the truth down to size technique and duration or the lack of all the affore mentioned items. LOL They can be brutally honest in their review LOL.... They just don't let men in on the grapevine. I spent years as a licensed masseur in a very exclusive establishment in my younger days which is in part why I've some small bit of knowledge most fellows lack. The walls of the business I worked in were paper thin. It was not a question of listening, it was a question of trying like hell to block it out lol. After a while there is just nothing left to shock you, nothing you haven’t heard, and truthfully nothing you want to hear. I'm sure the ladies on this site can validate the truth of this..... The only question is will they…lol Maybe poor ladies don't talk this way but the wealthy ones surely do!

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 47 (view)

Be very careful in the words you choose guys. Posted: 11/28/2005 3:29:42 PM
Well, I don't know your history but even if the list was 65 people she placed there, its really none of your business. No mater the heart felt e-mails, you haven't even met, yet you were attempting to control her already. Now you have professed your love in the open forums for advice or perhaps as a ploy to peak her interest again. I'm sure Tom Cruises new love was flattered that he begain jumping up and down on a couch on national TV but their relationship had progressed beyond e-mail. I don't know what other signs there may have been but, I think she decided based, on your actions, that rather than become involved with you and maybe reget it even more later it would be best to cut her losses as the signs were already there. I'm sorry you scared her off from the perspective that I can understand how lonely you must be but, I give her kudos for her response. Love does not imply or grant ownership, not even marriage does. You have to respect that she and she alone will be the captain of her virtue. It takes a lot to build a real relationship and love at first sight is not enough to build a future on nor are a few emails. While it can be the indicator that possibilities exist I think it is seldom felt and rarely by both parties. Sure people say it was love at first sight in retrospect but they are usually just flattering each other. I think love at first sight is more a hormonal emotional infatuation that hits you like a ton of bricks rather than true love. Truthfully to capture someones heart for the long term you have to love their mind as well and the feeling must be mutual. No mater how strongly you may feel or think you feel I would suggest you take it slow and reserve the L word for once you truely get to know someone and the relationship has become mutually exclusive. Controlling..... yeah ..... You might want to read a few books on relationships, boundries and, mutual respect before testing the waters again....If you recogise you were wrong to ask that question but rather than not ask it wish there was a more tactfull way to have asked it then counceling should be next. I doubt many if any of the ladies here would stand for that. That being said, I have a very messy relationship that who knows might have benifited from a little control on my part. Even so I can't help but think thats not the way to go. Look on the bright side .... since it was email you didn't have to endure hearing her incredulous gut wrenching laugh as she fell out of her chair into the floor gasping for breath. The down side is you've just shared this with all the ladies that read the forums on this site or talk to the ladies that have read this forum. Ouch ! She showed class by not just standing you up..... I know you didn't mean to be over the top but being possesive smothering and controlling are quick ways to turn off a modern woman. Of course not doing what comes natural to you will just give you ulcers or worse..... get counceling before you attempt another relationship so you can have closure and bury those feelings before they bury you.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 47 (view)

whats the best vibrator gift for a women ? Posted: 11/28/2005 2:19:35 PM
I think the vibrating butterfly with a small Gspot stimulator (3 inches long) and a nub for clitoral stimulation as well as a nub for anal stimulation. This unit straps on and is designed to be worn under the clothes and includes wireless remote with a 15-20 foot range. They run about $50.00 Walgreens also as some wireless wands in the $15-20 dollar range. (buy two the battery doesn't last long). but it is rechargable !

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 131 (view)

Married but tempted Posted: 11/27/2005 10:36:53 PM
To: amberzamber Request and suggest you read my post under Cheating.... is nothing compaired to real pain and loss then read this: For the record life is not as simple as you or I would have it. I never in my wildest dreams thought life would lead me where it has. And yes I agree, cheating should never be someones first second or even third option. I would suggest counceling, maybe sex theropy entertain an open relationship if possible or finally divorce if you have those options before taking the step of cheating on ones partner. If the cheating is someones only option they have my condolances. I for one did not choose the path that has led me here. I don't even know if I can bring my self to do it at my age..... perhaps when I was younger it might have been easy, I don't know. For me it is a fantasy to do it but, honestly when I stimulate myself its being with my wife that I think of and remember. I think that if your in my situation you would be as confused as I am. Tell me how would someone feel if there was a possibility that when you were with them you were pretending that it was your spouse rather than them you were with... I only know two wrongs don't make a right but then on the other side of the coin I do have needs, is all I have, all I will ever have? I wonder are there others that have situations that leave them wanting with no way out too.... If so do we really want to meet.... I think we could fill a baggage car with our history and who would want to ride that train....? I'm not saying I never get sex, on rare occasions she will approach me, as a duty, which is almost worse than no sex at all....I don't feel very good about becoming a looming expectation or silent accusation that hangs over her head. At least she can watch TV to distract her from what we were doing.... Did you cum is the code for get off me so she can clean up....and later.... did you have a good time means.... what... I don't really know an afermation that she did her duty... I know she cares about me but, well its so mechanical and without passion that she might as well be milking a cow. Ever felt that way....? I can't express all my thoughts on this but I feel like using her when I know she has no interest is just not exciting. I need to reach her and can't, I need to rock her world but don't. I need to feel desirable not viewed like a car that needs its oil changed. I love her for trying but, really its not just that she has not desire anymore its that she shows little interest even when she does "service me"... Just put a sticker on my forehead noting the date and milage and forget about it does not cut it...... and hasn't for a long time! So I'm a very bad man, I'd just love to please a lady.... to have her interested in being pleased and it would be nice for someone to really care if they pleased me too for a change.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 90 (view)

Married but tempted Posted: 11/26/2005 8:15:54 PM
t d & h You took the quote out of context. My question was for cheaters or married people that joined a dating site while in a relationship and wondering what their justification could be.... how many claim it is to chat and post.... it does not wash, there are many places to chat and post without joining a dating site... my point speaks to motive... if someone begins a cheating relationship on this site and claims they never intended it to happen well they are just not being honest. It does not apply to couples that met on this site, they joined as you pointed out before they found someone. After developing interest and friends on the site if both agree to continue Congratulations to you and your partner for the commitment you have made. Your profile clearly states your here for the forums now that you have found someone so you were not the target audiance for my discourse on cheaters. Oh not that its my business but your profile says you met someone locally and your post says you met someone here and are both in the forums...... just courious. I'm not going to ask the question lol ... I just could not help but commenting since you responded to a post aimed at cheaters....

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 75 (view)

Married but tempted Posted: 11/20/2005 7:42:17 PM
We are animals, Monogomy is clinically documented to be an unnatural state.... I think women created the myth that they are the weaker sex and still prefer it, equal yet weaker....duh.... The only advantage men have is phycial power.... Women enjoy all other advantages includeding engendering a since among men that thay are weeker. There are few excuses for cheating, me I don't have an excuse for the desires I have... the wife's cheating does not make it right... The only thing it did was make me wonder why she is so incecure she had to convince me that monogomy was the only way we could be together..... yet she has since screwed my two best friends.... a classmate...a coworker....a professer and there is a real possibility she did my cousin too but than one I can't prove..... two of the others she confessed to when caught red handed, the rest I've heard about and did not confront her about it as it was a moot point. So I am not making excuses but, I do have my reasons why the vow of monogomy means little to me... The bottom line is you make your choice as does the person you cheat with and everyone else can go to hell.... Morality is like the weather stick around long enough and it will change... For those that quote religious objections I'd suggest they read their bible rather than thump it. Lot was sent into his bond servent to father a child which by the way is a slave and men had multiple wives... the limit is dont screw another mans wife and dont let your wife screw arround, you want sex with someone marry them and add them to your existing harem. The only thing that maters is did both parties make a covenent with each other that niether cheat.... once that covenent is broken it is no longer binding.... Sure you should not commit adultery... there should be no extramarital affairs and the term starter marriage should never have been coined. Question: How many were virgins on their wedding night. Question: how many have kept their vow of till death do us part to date. Question: How many have gotten a divorce or an annulment. Question: If the answers were, yes, yes, no....... Did you join this site after you took the wedding vows for your first marriage? I've seen a few people on this site that say they joined to chat and for the forums... Question: When looking to chat and read forums how many dating/matchmaking sites did you have to search to find a place to chat and read.... And if a site not related to dating allowed people to chat read and post in forums do you think it should be legal since we all know that only dating sites allow chatting reading and posting....right. OK.... your spouce is monogomous..... you want to cheat..... guess what..... thought is to actions ....... you are already damned....(love that word)...... you have or want to cheat so you are a cheater already even if you haven't done it you want to......As Jimmy Carter said ..... he sinned as he had lust in his heart for other women (stated in an artical published in playboy where Carter was interviewed and was candid about his feelings) OK, I'm a lust in my heart cheater.....I'd like to have hot nasty sweaty animalistic sex with a willing lady that is willing to be a whore in my bed just, for the sake of mutual gratification. I'd like a lady that is funny smart and direct, good hygine is a must, I repect the fact that women love sex just as much as men. No double standard, I'll be the male whore of the right woman for a long term friends with benifits arrangement... no strings, no judgmental crap, no pretending we're in love. For a heart lusting cheater isn't that refreshingly honest.... for a cheater LOL There will be people that respond negitively to this post selectively attacking the points they wish to address and ignoring other points that strike too close to home. Let the discourse continue...... I love a lively debate....

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 355 (view)

Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all? Posted: 11/19/2005 1:23:22 AM
One of the dating sites that use to be totally free had a profile of a hot mid twenties baby doll that flirted and an teased and promised everything.... She was into cyber and loved to get the guys to send her pictures....some very racey. I walked into my computer room one day and ran my 14 year old daughter off to do a chore she had neglected. This is when I learned about dating sites and the fact that men would send nude pictures of them selves to women they had never seen. I contacted the dating site and all of the mem on her contact list and shared that they had been engaging in cybersex and sending nude pictures to my 14 year old daughter. I'm sure that many were embarased, some maybe not.... My advice is if you send a picture fellows and ladies make it a clothed one until you know for sure who your sending it to. Some of the no picture profiles are men pretending to be women that get off on stringing you along, Guys if your into cybersex remember your partner may be a 57 year old closet gay that dreams of your hot text and loves your sexy nude pictures When I considered a dating site I posted my picture for all of 5 minutes then on my first search I ran smack dab into a picture of a family friend with a very large mouth. I deleted the picture before she saw it thank goodness. I told my wife about it and she said I was nuts for ever posting a picture in the first place. We are both members of another dating site called okcupid which has these neat compatability personality and trivia test that are a lot of fun... any user can create a test and some of them are very good.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 127 (view)

Dating an alcoholic Posted: 11/19/2005 12:40:17 AM
It sounds like a slow motion train wreck to me, you don't want to see the distruction but somehow are unable to look away.. You know whats happening you know you cant change it but you just cant help yourself... You need to tell him to take a walk and come back after 6 months sober in the AA program. You will allow him the chance to earn your love and respect. If he has enough drive and desire to get his act together and deserve your love then and only then you can date have a long engagement and marry. Expect him to choose the bottle over you but if you don't give him this chance you are an enabler and a blind fool who's own sence of self worth is so low you will accept damaged goods and be there when the train leaves the tracks. Give him the speach and dump him with your best wishes love, and hope that he loves you enough to come back worthy of your love. Any other course of action and I feel for you and the pain you will be going through and the loss you will feel when its over will be filled with regret for not having better sense. Has Mr. hyde ever hit you, does he speak to you like your a dog and later blame the drink if so run not walk away.... If you just have to be near him because he is so close consider relocating..... it would be worth it and you may find someone that is worthy of your love.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

Do I tell him or not???? Posted: 11/19/2005 12:25:41 AM
if he is married the answer is hell no dont tempt him... If he is single and has not been in a relationship he may not feel the same or if he does assumed that you don't and cares enough not to want to damage the friendship for an attempt at romance. If he has been in one relationship after another and always found fault in the end with his partner then read the hand writing on the wall... you wont change him and the friendship usually never survives a failed relationship.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

What is the conventional wisdom for tattling on cheaters? Posted: 11/19/2005 12:11:33 AM
I can tell you from experiance that people tend to forgive each other for cheating. What they won't forgive is the person that shared the information. You tell one partner about the antics of another, at first they are shocked hurt and upset. Next in anger they say bad things about their partner to the informant and perhaps to be supportive the informant chimes in with a few zingers of their own. The cheating partner learns who outted them (always) and is resentfull about all the resulting drama and knows the informant does not trust them and has a low opinion and would rather befriend a rabid dog that the person that turned them in. After the shock, the back biting, plenty of drama and, fantasic makeup sex the couple is again a couple, abet with a few fresh emotional scars. In retorspect neither partner is interested in maintaining the friendship with the informant. The victum in many cases would rather have not known the truth and the cheater would just as soon the informer dropped dead of jungle rot. The wronged spouse is embarassed by their thoughts and actions when they learned their partner was cheating and remembers more about what the informer said than what they said or felt upon learning of the betrail. They also are a little ashamed that they reconsiled and feel a silent accusation real or not coming from the informer for taking the cheating partner back, bluntly they are now uncomfortable around the informer as is the cheater. So the question you have to ask yourself is do you want to loose both as friends because if you open your mouth that is typically what happens if they get back together. They do not want to be reminded of what happened or will never trust the informant again depending on the point of view they both become very cool towards the informer. So you want to loose one or both parties as friends then by all means speak up after your 15 minutes of fame your less welcome than the plague into the lives of those you touched with only the best of intentions. I once had a very sweet girl that worked for my wife and myself baby sat our kids etc... She was about to marry my cousin who would bed anything that moved slower than he did, including I later learned when she was made at him hitting on my wife. Ouch! after I told the little girl that worked for us what he was doing she told me if i ever learned anything else not to tell her. No I didn't know about he and my wife at the time. They married (his 4th) and moved on with their lives.... Later I saw her after their divorce and it was awkward we made the promises people make about getting together for dinner or a picnic with the kids but never did. Watching other relationships hit the skids and the folks that put in their two cents worth I think I can say that I've never seen a case where the couple resolved their problems that anyone that opened their mouth and shared any information remained as good friends as they were before. Their relationship may continue but closure means your friendship generally wont.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 37 (view)

whats the best vibrator gift for a women ? Posted: 11/18/2005 7:21:07 PM
The Harry Potter Numbus 2000..... I understand they also can be used as a broom.

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 70 (view)

Married but tempted Posted: 11/18/2005 5:46:07 PM
You have to look at things objectively, from outside a relationship you do not have all the information and are hearing only her thoughts on the subject colored by your own sense of moral standards. 1) We are animals but, as we a sentient beings and like to think we hold our selves to a higher standard. In reality people are only sweeping a common practice under the rug. 2) Monogamy is not a natural state of being for a human. 3) There is no information on if they have an open relationship where their love and trust in each others judgement is enough that each can find joy in this simple biological function. 4) If your objection is based or religious beliefs your again imposing your moral precepts on the behavior of others. "Remember the Bible says judge not lest ye should be judged." Multiple wives and even segregate mothers were the excepted norm during biblical times. Lot was sent unto his bond woman because his wife Sara was barren. Yes a woman should cleave unto her man and a man should not covet another's wife. This is not an endorsement for monogamy it is only what it says. Slavery was accepted by god and the church a bond woman is a slave in case you are not aware. While the bible taught people not to cheat on their wives or have affairs with the neighbors wife it was acceptable to have multiple wives and use your slaves as you see fit. Based on the information provided and the bible she should not violate her vows. Only males have that privilege. (we can all expect some interesting responses) The ethical implications are those that are relevant only to her and her husbands personal belief system and the understanding or covenant between them as to their boundaries. I tend to play devil's advocate in any discussion in order to stimulate the debate for my own amusement. Married Guy

married_guy

Joined: 11/4/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Cheating.... is nothing compaired to real pain and loss Posted: 11/18/2005 3:13:49 PM
I'm an open minded guy and was willing to have an open relationship with my spouse. I love her and wanted to spend my life with her but, did not feel like I needed to own her. I would have been happy if we could make love together and have sex with other people for pleasure and to keep the relationship's sexual aspect fresh. My thoughts on this subject were to be progressive honest caring yet not possessive like I was a dog guarding his dinner. Some people try to catch their spouse some are nosy and learn things they never wanted to know. After being told that I could not love her and want to be with other or be willing to allow her to be with others I settled in for an exclusive relationship founded in monogamy. To be honest tho I was trying to be open and prove I loved her enough not to be possessive I was truly happy she felt we should only have eyes for each other. 5 years into our relationship and 3 years into our marriage I learned it was really a don't ask don't tell situation and that I was the only one that had been monogamous. Had it just been sex for the sake of sex with someone outside our circle of friends it might have been less painful. It was not and the lack of self respect in her part was appalling. Imagine your wife shows up at a party were everyone you know is there and blatantly walk to one of the bedrooms with your best friend. You are the only one that does not know, but once you do everyone can't wait to tell you about every occasion they are aware of to ensure the salt is rubbed deeply into the wounds. Now if I was an angel or had money I might have been able to get a divorce but, I'm not and didn't. I worked for an organization... I had a few irons in the fire of my own... I was more in involved with... gambling, numbers and certain rare items that people want but can't buy at walmart. I never robbed people or stole anything and was not in collections other than as a try out and I didn't care for it not to mention their is always someone that likes that sort of thing... Throw a baby into the mix and a dash of rich parents with serious connections and judges in their group of close personal friends and you can see my problem. She had a break with reality, suicide attempts by your spouse and your own checkered past and what do you have. A nightmare you can't escape, people think divorce her, no I love her and during a period when things were better we had another child ... It can't have been that bad you think and your right at times it was good but good was so rare for so many years. You don't know, can't know... Then there are the kids, I cleaned up my act got a real job began taking care of her and my children... I thought she had stopped cheating but learned not to look closely at anything unless I wanted to know things I really would rather not think about. Truthfully I really don't care that she cheated or cheats life is way too complicated for that to mater at this point but yes if hurt more than words can express at the time I first had to cope with it. Now its just a small disappointment. There have been to many good things that have happened to focus on the negative all the time or live with regrets. Finally, I don't think she cheats anymore, the kids are almost grown, I've kept as much from them as I could. She is their mother she needs their love as much as they need to be able to respect and love her and not fault her for her illness. I still can't get a divorce, I'll never get a divorce... I'm now her legal guardian as she reached the stage where I had to take total control once she was deemed a danger to herself and others (that's what is said on the commitment papers the last 3 times she was away)... She spent the last year bouncing between being in an institution 24 7 to being in out patent treatment all day and could never be left alone. She is a little better now and is even working most days, the drugs she is on and the ETC have destroyed a lot of her memory much more that the doctors said it would in any event. Sometimes I think she pretends not to remember all the things that have happened during our lives together, I only know she seems to have lost years or at least has large gaps in her memory. I've taken to lying to her a lot when she questions me about things as the truth could be the final straw that could take her from me for a final time. As I mentioned the drugs well they have a side effect almost no sexual drive or desire left not that it matters much I'm getting too old for it to be as important as it once was. So now I'm thinking of finding someone for a no strings attached relationship to keep my sanity. I'm beginning to panic and think, is this all I will ever share with someone is this what love does to people? I either have to have no life or be subjected to people judging me for being human. I guess I'm not the best guy that ever walked the earth but am far from the worst. Maybe if I'd had the opportunity to raise our kids in peace they wouldn't both be medicated too. Maybe our son would not have left home and said he would rather have no family that us. Now you may not believe it but, I still love my spouse dearly, she didn't ask for the problems she is faced with or the narrow minded upbringing that would never allow her to be honest with herself or me. Her mother was ill too so much is genetic and much is from her living in a similar situation as a child as our children have. I wasn't even upset when I found out she was planning to empty the bank accounts and kill me, she could have anytime she wanted too me its just something the doctors got overly excited about in therapy when she shared her thoughts. It was really a cry for help. Everyone was just a little overly concerned but, I knew I could handle it if she tried again, I'd lived through it before so no biggie. The police advised me to remove certain items from my home for my safety once when it came to light she'd made threatening statements to someone and then no one could reach me. LOL cell phone battery was dead and my youngest child was on the internet so, the police show up to see if I was OK and I didn't even know why lol. I'm not concerned about these cries for help, I responded with concern for her, knowing my roll is to be supportive and make sure she has the help she needs. Truthfully I think part of who she is loves me, other parts hate me, I never know which one is in control when I walk in the door. I know that either way the medication keeps her in check. I make sure she never runs out and since she cant be trusted with it. I have to keep it in a code key vault in our home. You want to judge me for wanting someone to hold, go ahead but, just know things aren't always what they seem from the outside, choices aren't always black and white. People aren't always faced with simple choices. Sometimes one has little if any real choices. I feel like considering cheating is to admit life has cheated my spouse our kids and myself. Other than a few people that have compared notes and pieced together the truth few, if anyone has any idea what goes on behind the closed doors of my home and within my marriage. Over the years we have kept everything in the closet, even the kids who I shielded from the worst of it for as long as I could still do not know most of the truth about their parents. I wish I could have kept more of it from them but sometimes you can't dismiss something as being no big deal when they see it for themselves and as they got older begin to understand more and more especially when they began to show the signs of mental illness too. You don't choose who you love, you can't turn true love off and if you really love someone you do so without conditions, without passing judgement and without holding back. I don't think there can be a greater love than one consumed by pain and lost. I don't know what will happen to her once I pass away in the future but since women out live men by 5-7 years on average and I'm several years older that she.. I wonder how she will get along once I'm not there for her. I expect she will follow me in short order rather than live on alone, I'd like to believe she will find a way to live with herself and achieve some type of balance.... but I don't know. I think I just needed to articulate my thoughts for this is the first time anyone without a critical need to know has glimpsed at what my life as really been. With all this, we have been blessed some people have real problems that make ours pale by comparison. If your thinking damn he's had it rough, your wrong, I think it was harder on the kids as they didn't understand and could not separate what she did and said with what was the real truth. It was the illness not her that they were scared of and began to hate, I failed with my son, I don't even know where he is now but our daughter she understands and loves her mother. The only thing is.... its started to happen to her too... So yeah, I feel like a real shit, I want someone to please that I can share just a little time with. I think I'm very selfish to even consider spending time with another woman knowing it can never grow into a future knowing if we fell in love I'd just be damning someone else with my desires. Sometimes life is beautiful, and I love those days but know the good days are small in number the best I can hope for are sane days. Sane is where things, though not normal are at least mostly under control. OK judgmental people that say "there is no excuse for cheating" let me make it easy for you..... I totally agree 100%, I'm a low life for considering it, I'm so hard that I have no shame, All I care about is finding a woman that has a mind I can respect who is a lady in public and a whore in my bed. Someone that just wants sex too. I already have a long laundry list of things to burn in hell for so don't bother trying to make me feel bad, honestly you don't have what it takes and no its not a challenge to raise your ire but, feel free to take it as one. Lay on Macduff and damn the first man that cries hold! When I get to hell I expect that with my resume I'll damn near be running the place. I just don't care... You may all feel free to say anything you like because words are just that words and I've already had worse than you could dish out. You want to tell my wife fine I'll ask her if I can give out her ID on the dating site where she has her membership. If you could tear her world apart you could be the most heartless person on the planet, second to me of course. I would love to be there when you tell her, she's very good with sharp objects, You've head the don't shoot the messenger adage.... she does not believe it...wo unto the messenger lol. If by some wild stretch of the imagination anyone thinks they should pass judgement on me go ahead. Just know you haven't walked in my shoes, lived my life or know if you could long term, Most would run away tail between their legs looking for a better life with no thought of the destruction in their wake.. why did I stay.... through everything I love her and my kids so how twisted is that? lol Me, I just want a no strings no commitment long term no future relationship where I have to slip around an lie to make time for. You know when I was a kid its all I dreamed of..... Damn he has a lot of baggage.... without this post..... you would never know it. I'm normally very very upbeat, the glass is half full kinda guy and most people that think they really know me, also think I'm really a nice person....and have the perfect wife.... (we keep people at a distance, no visitors at home ,,,ever) I like that ! Happy turkey day..... We are driving 400+ miles so I can cook thanksgiving diner for my mom :-) She is the reason I'm strong enough to be such an ass LOL He just wants us to feel sorry for him, no I just like to start shit and have heard enough judgemental comments reading the threads about cheating he/she's that I wanted to place the other side of the coin in plan site so people would realise there are always too sides to every story and even if you don't agree with what someone does you have to respect that it is their choice good or bad they own it and have to live with it. Its going to be really fun seeing how many peoples goat I've just gotten cuz I'll shave it lol.

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