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lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

how do u know when to let go Posted: 5/22/2009 9:04:10 PM
STay WAy a restraining order maybe the answer you too gullible fo rthat get a back bone move on, too much drama. ever here that song by mary j blige "drama" or alicia keys "karma" let it go, good things come to those who wait. God bless!

lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

how do u know when to let go Posted: 5/21/2009 9:26:45 PM
This continues as long as you let it. I left and never went back. Never ever go back once you leave. Dignity is something you have noone should take that from you. Cause the moment you go back, you have a chance of letting what is happening to you now-actually happen. Pull yourself up by your boot straps, get a back bone, girl up on it and set those wheels in motion- God bless, we have all been there in one time or another.

lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

How long is long enough? Posted: 5/21/2009 9:20:41 PM
Its been almost two years for me. Crushed I was. But, what does not kill you makes you stronger. Take it from me, check yourself, first-secondly get to know you again-this can take some time, third get use to being alone (meaning not being involved with someone). Fix what needs to be fixed first-if anything, before you jump in to another relationship. I done it but (mourning period), just get with the wrong people (I met someone who had a STD beautiful she was, the other someone who woke up and just left and another wh0 ripped me off). It hurts but, stay busy. I am 20lbs lighter, have a great job, got a promotion and I am starting to date. Now, I have gone to a couple of mixers, its good to be liked- my last relationship she was much like you jumping from one relationship to another. I hope you ended the one prior before you start the other. You never have closure doing it this way. My did this to me. She never really healed from her first major burn-unhealthy . WE good folks pay the price when dealing with people like her, our emotions, finances, friends, family, etc are also effected, cause someone like her can continue to do this to innocent by standers. We continue to pay cause that one person did them wrong has scarred them. Please be strong, be positive and receptive. Find positive in everything, life can be much easier, during this difficult time.Good luck-I'll say a prayer for you.

lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

How long is long enough? Posted: 5/21/2009 9:18:50 PM
Its been almost two years for me. Crushed I was. But, what does not kill you makes you stronger. Take it from me, check yourself, first-secondly get to know you again-this can take some time, third get use to being alone (meaning not being involved with someone). Fix what needs to be fixed first-if anything, before you jump in to another relationship. I done it but (mourning period), just get with the wrong people (I met someone who had a STD beautiful she was, the other someone who woke up and just left and another wh0 ripped me off). It hurts but, stay busy. I am 20lbs lighter, have a great job, got a promotion and I am starting to date. Now, I have gone to a couple of mixers, its good to be liked- my last relationship she was much like you jumping from one relationship to another. I hope you ended the one prior before you start the other. You never have closure doing it this way. My did this to me. She never really healed from her first major burn-unhealthy that was. WE good folks pay the price when dealing with people like her, our emotions, finances, friends, family, etc are also effected, cause someone like her can continue to do this to innocent by standers. We continue to pay cause that one person did them wrong has scarred them. Please be strong, be positive and receptive. Find positive in everything, life can be much easier, during this difficult time.Good luck-I'll say a prayer for you.

lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

at work affairs Posted: 4/9/2009 8:23:33 PM
Mark 1352, dude whoa whoa whoa! be nice-love is blind so what it takes some of us longer then others to figure it out...give him a break-

lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

How to say goodbye for good? Posted: 3/29/2009 10:03:03 PM
When your belly is FULL, you will do it...if your into the back and forth-which is unhealthy, you too will get caught up in it...watch yourself, take care of yourself-cause your the only one who can...take care-

lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

at work affairs Posted: 3/25/2009 8:42:09 PM
Hold on to your daughter, forget about her-she is looking for something else, let her-whats the excuse this time. Then she'll do it again. She is liar and a cheat. That mentality is not warranted in any phase of a relationship, then you have a kid together-oh man give me a break-you are way too good for that and that entire situation. Pack her bags and send her packing-shoot help her pack and tell her to leave the kid! My prayers are with you and your lil girl!

lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

im so hurt will we ever get back together Posted: 3/22/2009 9:28:10 PM
AMEN, sounds like a page from my life as well. Get her a great job, filled the house, fixed her teeth and her car-gone in 20months. It was a horrible first time at getting burned!

lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Moving on after the Heart Break Posted: 3/22/2009 9:10:27 PM
Iconoclast, Sorry about your pulverizing experience. Yes I agree, doing positive stuff can help-to pass the time. If you did nothing wrong prior to your recent pulverizing. Your right, move on. But, some feel why? Some much like you didn't do anything to deserve, this-though many think why me? Then again why not? Prefer it happen to a strong soul like me or you (by the way your expressed yourself) love is not for the weak. Wish you a quick recovery-god knows its taken me sometime...the betrayal or better yet the dissapointment can be heart wretching.

lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Is Gay Monogamy Dead? Posted: 3/22/2009 8:45:52 PM
He cheated on you before, you caught him cheating-he will continue to cheat. Once a cheater always a cheater-until they lose "the one" they really love. Not that this will change them-I am so sorry for you-hope you did not buy the condo, I was getting ready to go full steam ahead with my gfriend after almost two years, I did everything, but, sometimes - they need to show or have some sense of resposibility. He needs to show accountability for his actions. In no place, no time or no purpose-is cheating okay or justified. In the gay community there is much risk no more then the heterosexual setting. Take care of yourself don't let him run over you, jack with your self esteem you have to value yourself more. Don't do it. You are in my prayers.

lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Moving on after the Heart Break Posted: 3/19/2009 11:02:46 PM
It been 2 years for me almost, I started doing what I was doing before it all hit the fan for me. I am 30lbs lighter, ride a bike, go camping and no drama. It hard to help someone who (unknown to me till later) that has a mental illness, no self esteem and bitter (about her other relationships)- As long as you did all you could to save it you should be alright, but if you left alot of unfinished business, check it and be better about that the next time around. Take the time, go hang out with family, do something everyday to pass the time, never wallow in a bottle, drugs or try to hurt yourself cause one thing is certain when you come down off of whatever-is the issue is still there. Take care, we're all here for you.

lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

Advice for a broken heart Posted: 3/19/2009 10:51:58 PM
Alright-here I go. I have been there not sleeping, not eating, just feel like running. You must understand if it was so good for BOTH of you, you would be together. Not saying you did not do all you needed to do. But, what she did to you was flat as- wrong. She should have girled up on it and told you what was going on with her or you as a couple. Its been 2 years for me and I have lost 30 lbs, started doing all I did before I met her. Don't stop living. its hard I know but, work harder, pray a little more, don't fall into the negative, you have been freed of that-right now this doesn't make sense to you-cause your beating yourself up with why me? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I am a believer in that. I did all I was suppose to do, got her a job, controlled rent apt filled the house with what was needed. Never let her down. Thinking back (as you will again and again), it wasn't my job to fix a person with more issues than I could possibly fix. You know she just woke up one day and left, I had no idea. Man it hurt, it was as if god took her from me, as if she disappeared and to never be seen again. It was bad. She died to me-we died-when she left me for the ass on her job, the job I got her (she cheated too). But, you know you must live well. You see we have felt your pain and we're here to share it with you. I wish you a quick recovery. Run yes run for your peace of mind, grab a pair of running shoes and get goin'!

lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Have any of you deeply regretted breaking up with someone? Posted: 3/18/2009 8:48:29 PM
I agree with alot of the posts here-I too, once I am gone, its cause I have had enough. I look back and now that I have had time to think about it, I should have left this last time, on that first indicator-That has been my only regret on this last relationship. Not leaving in the beginning- I worked and worked on this relationship for 20 mths to have it end "very"bad. One thinks perhaps she would change, things would get better or we would come to an understanding. Wishful thinking-it never did, what a waste of time. I put in so much to end up alone but, I have never been lonely, I have a great support sytem oh yeah and a new gal.Don't waste your time-move on, your so much better then that-

lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 136 (view)

I miss him Posted: 3/13/2009 8:54:35 PM
I miss someone too. I miss the friendship. I miss the way she smelled. I miss holding her head to my chest. I miss stroking her hair. Its been 20 months- then I start gettin' sad, I stop myself-when I remember if: Do I miss the lying-no. Do I miss the cheating,with a co-worker, no. Do I miss her stealing-nope. God, Its good thing she's gone- She didn't deserve me, she said tis, to me. In her round about twisted way, many a times! Adios!

lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

What happened? Posted: 3/13/2009 8:11:29 PM
I agree its revenge, do unto other as you would want done unto you. Sorry-it hurts, I know. Move on its okay-don't pine over him its not worth it. Wishing you better success-

lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

DEPRESSED Posted: 3/10/2009 8:57:27 PM
DEPRESSED Posted: 3/10/2009 1014 PM I agree, w living well. I caught my partner cheating on me 07-16-2007. I no longer talk to the people that were in awe of her, knowing she cheated on me, those were not my friends (what I call gettin away from the negativity) friends who kept that "secret" from me, these people I had known almost 20yrs. My true friends stuck by me, she even started a rumor she slept with my bestfriend, she wanted to tear everything apart-but, I kept silent. She goes to the same hair salon, she talks to people who know me but, I don't have to deal with them or her, went to a new hair salon. She found out through a mutual guy friend (we hung out at a xmas party 2008, minus his wife, who works with my x. I got my xgf that job too!) I am sure he went hm and told his wife (my x's coworker), that my current gf was "gorgeous". I had not heard from xgf in 3 mths, i saw her@ small claims court (09-2008), you know what she did? my x sent me a christmas card signed by her and the gfriend, she cheated on me with (they met at the job I got her). But it's my x's writing on the card, she was jealous, heard I had a great gal, i was looking well. She can't stand it. I say this to you whether its a hetero/lesbo relationship there is drama in both. "Its true live well", let them know you do not miss them whether you do or you don't its hard but, one must move on. Live well. I read Joel Olsteen book "a better you". Its great. Do good things for yourself, cause you are the only sure thing right now. Example, I have started my own LLC, I got promoted I received my certification(something I was doing before she left), I lost 20 lbs, whether it was depression or my working out-I look good. I started doing, all I was doing before I met her-I was so happy go lucky then-I am working on that now, 20 months later-its work, but, i have done alot-keep positive, no one is worth it, especially if they are not worth it!!!!

lovingonline

Joined: 10/23/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

DEPRESSED Posted: 3/10/2009 8:44:14 PM
I agree, w living well. I caught my partner cheating on me 07-16-2007. I no longer talk to the people that were in awe of her, knowing she cheated on me, those were not my friends (what I call gettin away from the negativity) friends who kept that "secret" from me, these people I had known almost 20yrs. My true friends stuck by me, she even started a rumor she slept with my bestfriend, she wanted to tear everything apart-but, I kept silent. She goes to the same hair salon, she talks to people who know me but, I don't have to deal with them or her,new hair salon. She found out through a mutual guy friend (we hung out at a xmas party, minus his wife, who works with my x. I got my xgf that job too!) I am sure he told his wife (my x's coworker), that my current partner was "gorgeous". I had not heard from xgf in 3 mths prior to us going to court over small claims (09-11), you know what she did, my x sent me a christmas card signed by her and the gfriend, she cheated on me with(they met at the job I got her). But it's my x's writing on the card, she was jealous, heard I had a great gal, i was looking well. She can't stand it. I say this to you whether its a hetero thing or a lesbo relationship there is drama in both. All I can say is you are so right "Its true live well", let them know you do not miss them whether you do or you don't its hard but, one must move on. Live well. I read Jolsteen book a better you. Its great.I have start my own LLC, I got promoted (something I was doing before she left), I received my certification, I lost 20 lbs, whether it was depression or my working out. I started doing all I was doing before I met her-I was so happy go lucky then-I am working on that now, 20 months later-its work, but, i have done alot-keep giving that great advice no one is worth it, especially if they are not worth it!!!!

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