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Thread: My ex has moved on, and strangely I'm not happy about it

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

My ex has moved on, and strangely I'm not happy about it Posted: 1/21/2009 10:05:32 AM
My last love remarried last year. At first, it hurt to think she could love someone else enough to marry. After a lot of soul searching, I came to the conclusion that her happiness wasn't such a bad thing. I truly adore her, she made me feel so alive when we were together. In my mind, I let her go and wish her well. Your feelings of being left-out, sound familiar. Some of us have a difficult time of finding that "off switch", at the end of a relationship. I finally found it, now the hard part is finding the desire to ever turn it on, again.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Just Harder To Forget Then I Hoped Posted: 1/21/2009 6:55:56 AM
I envy you. I have the opposite feelings. I am usually relieved when someone walks away. It is an empty, yet comfortable feeling. Get on with my life? Something is broken inside me, the scary part is that it is easier to be alone. Be thankful that you still feel like putting yourself out there.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Passing on a legacy Posted: 1/1/2009 8:05:42 PM
Man, I hear you about your mother. I lost mine about 14 months ago. I don't think I will be too worried about what people think of me when I pass. I try to be consistent with how I interact with loved ones and friends. Along with my dry humor, I try to let them know how much they mean to me. I am there for them when they are down and sometimes just because. I have been preparing for the inevitable my whole life, as I have known too many that left, way too soon. I always thought my mother was a little too distant from a lot of people. I was proven wrong, after her death. It was bittersweet to hear some of the stories from people that I had never even heard of. It seems those little random acts of kindness and timely compliments or remarks do mean something. As the oldest of three, I can relate. I am sure you will do just fine!

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 85 (view)

Is owning a home a positive or negative? Posted: 12/22/2008 9:46:20 PM
It doesn't make you a pariah, for goodness sake. It is what it is. Taxes, insurance, HOA fees, upkeep, etc. Two in this day and age? Wow! My hat is off to you for hanging in there. Most people would understand your responsibilities, not berate you for them. I can think of a lot of things that would be considered "baggage", being a responsible homeowner wouldn't be one of them. JMHO

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Marriage after 45 Posted: 12/22/2008 9:38:35 PM
Good question. At this point, I am trying to poke my head out of this self-imposed shell I have been hiding in. My heart took one hell of a beating the last go-round. I am hoping to meet someone that is very patient and has a great sense of humor. There are enough fragmented memories of how wonderful it felt to be in a loving relationship, that I don't want to quit just yet. I would have to say I fall in the latter part of your question. I know I will have to learn to "walk" before I even think of "running".

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

Do you think your best is ... Posted: 12/2/2008 10:39:32 PM
My "days in the sun" are distant memories. I feel every accident and foolishness that happened over the years, whenever the weather changes. Hope keeps me coming back for more, I guess. Every new sunrise is a blessing. I am holding on to the thought that the best is yet to come.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Moral Decay...Has It Affected Your Desire To Date? Posted: 11/27/2008 8:06:49 PM
I appreciate everyone's input on my question! Thank you! I know my thoughts are somewhat hard to follow for some. They are just a few off of the top. And, yes, I am sure Barbara Eden has a belly button. There was no option to select my one child is over 18 and no longer at home, is what is up with that. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Moral Decay...Has It Affected Your Desire To Date? Posted: 11/27/2008 9:30:18 AM
I still remember seeing Rob and Laura sleeping in separate beds, Jeannie's lack of a belly button and men and women got married. Now we have internet "sex video" stars hamming it up on prime-time television, our media attempts to desensitize us to anything that used to be shunned, who knows what is getting "married" these days, financial institutions getting "bailed out" because of poor financial decisions, etc. I guess, I am just curious if anyone else has grown a little callous on the desire to date, wine and dine, etc., as you exist in society's current state of morality?

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 598 (view)

Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat? Posted: 11/26/2008 2:35:18 PM
I have a feeling that she will take me to places where smoking is but a distant memory.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

why does NOT dating make you a LOOSER? Posted: 11/22/2008 6:01:34 AM
I can think of a lot of things that would indicate a "LOSER", not dating isn't one of them. "Low self-esteem", "lack of interest" or "life changing experience" are "L" words that would come to my mind.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

it is okay to hookup with your ex for sex? Posted: 11/20/2008 8:59:10 AM
If it is good for you, fine. I personally don't want to go down that road. I would rather let sleeping dogs lie.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Two Cultures&Two Religions...Do They Mix In A Relationship Posted: 11/20/2008 7:39:22 AM
Holy cow!!! No pun intended! You played Russian Roulette with 5 rounds in your six-shooter for 18 years and all of a sudden it matters? It sounds like the old wait til the kids are grown to "Get out of Dodge!" scenario to me. I would say whatever personal choice the children make will be your answer, as to their choice of culture and religion. JMHO

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

Men happy, women sad, over 48 ? Posted: 11/19/2008 11:32:05 AM
I dunno, I have to disagree with the subject. A majority of the gals that I meet, my age or older, have their sh*t together. They usually have stability in their life; as in work, family and even where they live. Sure, they would like to find a decent guy to share time with, but I just haven't seen too many "Poor me" mature women. Women of this maturity exude an appeal that the younger versions can only dream to have.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 48 (view)

Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men? Posted: 11/19/2008 10:51:30 AM
Can you imagine the "ghosts" that some people have in their closets? I personally don't want to know about a lot of the experimentation and such that a person goes through. When a bomb is dropped in your lap, it is a different story. I don't have a clue as to how I would react in your situation. Your situation would fit in the "TMI" category, as far as a relationship goes. IMHO

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 203 (view)

Does sex get better after you hit 40? Posted: 11/18/2008 5:54:28 PM
I don't know if it is better, but I sure appreciate it more!!! The dry spells cause an immense appreciation, to say the least.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 145 (view)

Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting? Posted: 11/17/2008 12:12:04 PM
Waste time? I can think of a lot of things that are a waste of time. Chatting/IMing/Email is not a waste of time in my opinion. I like people, for one. The more you know about a person, the less of a chance for disappointment is another plus. Patience is a virtue that I respect in a person. Cutting to the chase, works for a business transaction or police interrogation, not for meeting someone for the first time. Reminds me of the joke about the old bull and the young bull standing on top of the hill...

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

Jewelry from others Posted: 11/17/2008 6:16:29 AM
I have never been impressed with "swag", so I probably wouldn't even notice it. If it was a Rolex or the Hope Diamond, I might ask if they have insurance on it.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

like a dog chasing a car. Posted: 11/16/2008 1:35:51 PM
I am sorry to hear that you have been finding duds. I am sure that there are still plenty of older guys that have normal function in their organ. If I ever get to where I have to take a pill to perform, it is time to pack it up. You will find that blowhards come in both sexes. Better luck next time!

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 271 (view)

When someone points out that you're old.. Posted: 11/15/2008 2:24:46 PM
Don't let it get you down, you are not the first nor will you be the last to hear that. It actually amuses me when this happens. Mr./Mrs./Ms. Obvious has nothing else to ding you with, you should feel good that saying, "you're old!", is all they can think of. Just tell them that it happens if you live long enough.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 81 (view)

Death from making love...can it really happen? Posted: 11/15/2008 1:42:37 PM
Turkeys die of heart attacks from sonic booms, yes it happens. If a person's heart is a time-bomb, they are prime for a stroke or coronary. Blocked arteries, hypertension, all kinds of things can contribute to this sudden tragedy.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 448 (view)

Why would anyone want to date you? Posted: 11/14/2008 7:39:16 PM
I have asked myself that very question for over 30 years. I guess I'll never know. For whatever reasons, some do. If it isn't broke, I am not going to fix it!

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Woman who have difficulty having an orgasm Posted: 11/14/2008 7:30:08 PM
The biggest component to your partner reaching orgasm is her own mind. I remember when I couldn't climax while receiving oral. In order to overcome this, I had to totally relax my mind and body to just let it happen. I would suggest that the two of you discuss her state of mind during sex. The more relaxed and receptive she is to your actions, the better the chances for her to reach orgasmic bliss.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

How do you get out of this one? Posted: 11/14/2008 6:30:47 PM
As some one guilty of sending a "Hello!" and maybe a compliment to an attractive woman, I don't consider it rude when there is no reply. I just take it as a hint that they are not very interested in opening a whole can of worms, just to say they aren't interested.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Comfort Before Manners or Vice-Versa Posted: 11/13/2008 11:44:52 PM
Comfort WITH manners, holding it in makes it worse! SueCat51, did you say "dutch-oven"? I can honestly say that I have never heard that! Now, my sides hurt, too!

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 353 (view)

Dating a Smoker Posted: 11/13/2008 10:45:19 PM
I respect your decision about not dating a smoker. As for a thread stating your personal distaste over dating someone that you don't have to, it seems rather obtuse. I smoke, it is on my profile for all to see. I tried to date a harpy...the shrill voice turned me off. I don't think I'll start a thread on it. My point being, be sure to make this point on your profile. "Smokestacks", like myself, will surely see that you have an aversion to our stench and vile behavior. Now if I was a lying, cheating, women beating, animal humping sort of person, I would expect to be stoned in a public forum. I am normally not one to take offense, but after 15 pages of "Cumbaya", I couldn't resist.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 219 (view)

beautiful people, ugly genitals... Posted: 11/13/2008 4:26:25 PM
Be thankful she a had a butterfly and not a banana! I never see "ugly", I see different. You are referring to the labia, I presume? Everyone has their favorite, I guess, I just never really gave it much thought.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 156 (view)

Worst clothes to wear on a first date... Posted: 11/13/2008 4:16:58 PM
I haven't really had any complaints with clothing, just the ones with too much "swag"! The old pirates used to wear an earring to pay for a decent burial if their body was found when lost at sea. A few of these gals could pay for a fancy funeral, even at today's prices. It had me dreading a possible future of holiday gifting as I could only guess their preferences.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 794 (view)

Curvy Vs Slim Posted: 11/13/2008 4:04:43 PM
Both have their merits. It is how a person carries themselves that makes or breaks their appeal, to me. I am not a fan of obesity by any means, but I understand what father time does to people's bodies. It all depends on a person's "heart" on how they are perceived. Paris Hilton has good genetics, but is as appealing as a pile of rocks. Queen Latifah has a certain appeal, despite being a bigger woman. Curvy or slim, they both are on the cusp of attractiveness. The "talking heads" on television resemble stick people to me, their heads look too big and their arms look like toothpicks. I don't know, I guess it depends on who's soul is in what body that catches my eye.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Does writing erotic bi and lesbian stories mean she may be bi Posted: 11/13/2008 7:37:47 AM
She sounds like a very complex individual, to say the least. As far as you having a chance with her? I have heard of stranger things. Good luck to you, you'll need it!

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Expecting to find love or just enjoying yourself? Posted: 11/13/2008 7:32:37 AM
Expecting to find love? What is this site, a car lot? I would hope everyone is here to have a little fun, and maybe meet someone who shares similar views. I guess I haven't been spoiled, yet. The rotary dial phones and snail mail love letters were actually fun, too. Nothing beats seeing the "whites of their eyes" in person, but I have interacted with some awesome women on this site. As long as a person is honest about themselves and their current status, what is the problem?

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

When should a woman tell her potential lover of her fetish? Posted: 11/12/2008 1:49:28 PM
Sooooooon! Unless it is not really that weird. Weird involves farm animals, power tools(not B.O.B), etc.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 107 (view)

Who wants to live forever? Posted: 11/12/2008 11:31:08 AM
Not me...I have already lost some of the best people that I will ever know, including one parent. When the end comes, I will be in good company.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 130 (view)

Why Is It ALWAYS wrong for women but ALWAYS OK for men? Posted: 11/12/2008 10:23:33 AM
Damn, I can see where you would be frustrated! But, why? WTF does 3 month prove? Who spoon-fed you that crap? People are people, who are individuals. I guarantee "this" guy is not one that believes in an archaic system of judgment of anyone's promiscuity. The only one you need to answer to is the face in the mirror.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

Nude Resort ...Did I cross the line ? Posted: 11/12/2008 9:17:16 AM
First of all, kudos to you for having the "stones" to even go to a nude resort. I have "stage fright" issues, myself. I can see where your wife would be mortified to have a close acquaintance, let alone a neighbor, see her in all her glory. People tend to gossip, even if unintentionally. Not a smooth move, in my fully clothed opinion.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 105 (view)

Heart or Head Posted: 11/11/2008 7:21:14 PM
I have been hit, kicked, shot at, stabbed, but I still go with my heart. Your mind can think it knows who the right one is, but your heart is the real judge.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

trying to change political views of SO. Posted: 11/11/2008 6:49:39 PM
If neither one of you is a super delegate, who cares. If we were all the same, there would only be one party anyway. In my case, there is nothing to deal with, it is a non-issue.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Dredging up old hurts during arguments Posted: 11/11/2008 3:03:24 PM
It is extremely wrong to use "old news" as a weapon in a war of words. Another reason to not divulge too much about one's past relationship squabbles, number of lovers, variety of positions, etc.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 442 (view)

Sleeping naked Posted: 11/10/2008 4:41:41 PM
What is a high thread count good for, unless you feel it. Sleeping in the buff is one of the pleasures of not being inhibited, and it is only multiplied when shared with a warm and willing partner.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

A hearts dilemma Posted: 11/10/2008 2:51:13 PM
Don't feel that you are alone. Being single has its moments, but they are few and far between. I would love to meet someone that I want to be with, and vice versa. As my heart yearns, my mind holds back on the reigns. I have hope that a happy medium can be found. You sound like a truly complex individual facing an age old dilemma. As long as you yearn and question your feelings, there may be light at the end of the tunnel.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 274 (view)

Do you wish the worst for your ex? Posted: 11/10/2008 2:07:17 PM
God no! Why would I wish the worst? I loved that person unconditionally. I never could find the off switch for my love when she left. My love has dimmed with time, but there is still a fondness in my heart for her and her well-being. If being happy in her own mind means trading up, I am fine with it. Now if you would have asked me this shortly after we broke up...........

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 608 (view)

Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs? Posted: 11/10/2008 1:04:16 PM
I like them as a part of a healthy relationship. I like to perform cunnilingus and the 34 and a half just wouldn't be the same.. At my age, it would be hard to forget that aspect of healthy sex. Maybe you can run across someone who doesn't know what they are missing, or have similar reason to dislike them. I commend your honesty on the subject!

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 260 (view)

What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single??? Posted: 11/10/2008 12:15:35 PM
With a lot of faith. I have found that the more I know, the less I know. Over 50 is a scary time for many. The women that I know that are over 50, usually have had a marriage or relationship that caused credit problems or just jacked them up in general. Not unlike some of the 50+ year old males I know. Being callous and doubtful happens, meeting a special person can ease that type of thought. The thought of meeting that special person, keeps me from "hiding" my head in the sand.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 289 (view)

Why do some guys write they want friends first? Posted: 11/10/2008 10:40:52 AM
My profile says, "Friends", because that is what I seek. I am not seeking a wife, right out of the gate. I feel it is probably a good idea to see if beings friends is a possibility first. Romance and long term are nice fantasies, obviously being a friend first, has it's advantages. Kissing? I have kissed relatives. I have even squeezed a hand or two. Affection can be shown, it does exist without desire or lust. Reading too much into things can make a person very callous and dubious over nothing. Short and simple, "Don't sweat the small stuff!". A date is a date, there are certain vibes sent out to those receptive to them.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 1245 (view)

Calling all 40-60Something Males? Posted: 11/10/2008 10:30:14 AM
First of all, women of maturity are awesome in my book. There is nothing like a woman who exudes confidence and sensuality from every pore. Women in their 40's and 50's, are indeed just hitting their prime. Physical fitness is a plus to everyone, but the unbridled passion and genuine appreciation of life that mature women seem to project, is almost intoxicating at times. I have met a few "plastic" individuals, but the majority are the "real deal". Age is just a number, I have known some youngsters that are old way before their time. Just an honest opinion from a man that appreciates women of maturity.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

The wondering eye Posted: 11/10/2008 10:06:17 AM
I would think a small dose of the "wandering"eyes from you may be the very thing to bring it to light. I have been with women that remarked on a woman's appearance, even when I failed to notice it. A casual glance is nothing to worry about, be it either person. Now a long stare with a licking of the lips or drool, might indicate a problem.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Constant Contact Posted: 11/10/2008 8:50:15 AM
Because they can. A former girlfriend talked me into getting a cellphone when they first came out. She laughed it up after I got it, she said something to the effect that it was a "leash". I came to realize that it wasn't so funny. A person can love someone without having to know where they are and what they are doing, every minute of everyday. Insecurity and jealousy are two little monsters that live to wreak havoc on relationships. They call you and use "their" itinerary" to keep you under their microscope.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 685 (view)

Men Shaved??? Posted: 11/9/2008 5:33:28 PM
I don't think so, "Tim"! I don't care if it makes it look longer, either!

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

Why Can't he cum Posted: 11/9/2008 8:27:00 AM
Some would complain if they were hung with a "new" rope. Just be thankful that he doesn't need a crane to get it up. He may have great self control, after all you have said many times that he can go "ALL" night. I have to think about a lot of sports team rosters and statistics in my head in order to maintain a steady motion and not have a "blowout".

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

people's names... Posted: 11/9/2008 8:04:25 AM
No, a name wouldn't be a disqualification. There were probably a helluva lot of folks with whatever name that irks you, before you were even thought of. Now if someone was named after a type of feces, it may bother me, a little.

stilltryn

Joined: 10/26/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

she is honey girl or money girl? Posted: 11/9/2008 7:53:08 AM
I have some lifelong lady friends that would probably disagree with you. They make their own way, the thought of being treated like a concubine would bring on a gag reflex. Remember this isn't China, yet. Every woman has the right to not care for a "cheap date", but the days of Ward and June Cleaver are long dead.

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