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Thread: Ever heard of the Gold Analogy?

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Ever heard of the Gold Analogy? Posted: 8/6/2009 6:16:07 PM
Poster I agree with you that it is our experiences and resiliency that makes us into the wonderful people we are. Do our experiences also leave scares that our loved ones need to help us with...yes and that is to be expected. Anyone who is looking for someone with no baggage is looking for a person that is either completely in denial or has been living in a cave their whole life. However drama king and queen...a person who continually blows things out of proportion to the situation at hand...and/or constantly creates chaos in both their and everyone's life around them...now those people need to be avoided.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 494 (view)

And if she sleeps with you on the first date? Posted: 8/2/2009 8:11:35 AM
My question is if you are looking for a relationship why sleep with someone on the first date?

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 139 (view)

Just For Fun - Top 3 What Not To Do On A 1st Date Posted: 7/29/2009 8:57:39 PM
1. Tell me the reason you are 45 minutes late is because you were trying to find a free parking space 2. Ask me if I would like to go to your place to try this fabulous banana desert 3. Tell me your last girlfriend was great but she would not quit her job as a porno actress I know these items because for some reason they just did not work for me...guess I am just too picky.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 190 (view)

Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N? Posted: 7/24/2009 6:33:13 AM
Depends on what you are looking for. If you are just interested in playing the field and enjoying a mans company...they are the perfect suitor. If you are on a mission to secure a long term serious committed relationship...the odds are not in your favor. I find it takes a man a minimum of 2 years to get to the point where he is capable of anything serious.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

why are women surprised when you do what they ask Posted: 7/23/2009 3:25:28 PM
Lord this so simple it is laughable people do not get it. She was testing you... just trying to indirectly find out if you were just taking her on a trip to get some sexy time. When you passed the test...she decided you were the real deal and wanted to get naked with you hence the lingerie.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

How Do you Break The Ice In A Bar Or Club? Posted: 7/19/2009 6:57:16 AM
A warm smile and a flirtatious look. If she returns the same...just walk up and say Hi!!! and let the dance begin.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 216 (view)

not being honest about impotency Posted: 7/15/2009 6:29:38 AM
I think a man that does not address chronic impotence and hence tortures his lovers with unrequited satisfaction is a selfish self centered man. More than likely he also has other selfish tendencies.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

Marriage vs LTR Posted: 7/8/2009 6:47:40 PM
Marraige only has as much value as the person signing the paper. Commitment does not need a signature.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 64 (view)

Do all women change 100% after committment is achieved? Posted: 7/7/2009 7:28:35 PM
Did u ever consider that she may of changed because you changed? Have you ever asked her what can I do to make our relationship better...when the woman is happy she will do everything to make you happy.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 111 (view)

What does it take for you to be monogamous? Posted: 6/28/2009 4:44:21 PM
My word...is my conscious. It takes no effort for me to be faithful because no pleasure could be worth the guilt I would carry with me forever.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 62 (view)

When should the woman offer to pay? Posted: 6/28/2009 1:08:39 PM
A man told me this..."Being a well kept woman is costly they have to pay more for dry cleaning, nails, hair appointments, need a couple dozen pairs of shoes, waxing, stockings, makeup...hence men should pay for dinner."

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 256 (view)

Simple things you remember about someone special - past or present Posted: 6/6/2009 7:49:43 AM
The way he looked into my eyes with love every time we greeted each other. How he told me almost on daily basis that I was "You are the most beautiful woman in the world". The way he held me while we slept so closely as if he was trying to merge his very self into me. The way we could both communicate to each other by just looking into each others eyes. The fact that after 7 years of knowing each other we were like magnets and could never be in the same room together without touching each other. The fact he would leave clips of love songs on my answering machine and send me love letters just because.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

Dating Litmus Test Posted: 5/14/2009 3:52:43 PM
My major litmus test do their actions match their words. i.e. : - They say they want something real/commitment then they mention something sexual prior to first meeting - They say they are kind soft hearted people....however all their exs are satan like creatures. - They say they are responsible but they consistently do not call when they say they will. - They say they are not players but you have that gut feeling they they are involved with someone else. I just follow my gut instinct and it usually leads me down the right path.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 76 (view)

What do men really want? Posted: 4/6/2009 6:59:05 AM
Men are simple...Food, Sex, Home, Hobby, Sleep and to be appreciated and accepted for their good and their bad and not nagged all the time. Woman need to take more responsibility for their happiness and create boundaries not fights. I wish I figured this out years ago...with age comes wisdom.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 930 (view)

Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 1/25/2009 6:33:25 PM
Lord there are millions of wonderful men out there. It is this cynicism that prevents people from finding a great relationship. I love men. This is probably why I have spent the vast majority of my life in relationships versus looking for them. The law of attraction...you bring to you what you believe to be true.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Love Letters... do you write them? Posted: 1/20/2009 5:04:46 AM
I have been blessed to have many things bestowed on me to show love and gratitude. None of the monetary things I even remember but the following letter that I received I will never forget... "I am going to miss not being with you this weekend. When I am with you I become immersed in your tantalizing spell of erotic love. This is the reason we do not accomplish very much when we are together because we are in a spell. That spell is the indescribable feeling of being in love with each other. I feel the fresh presence of a warm spring afternoon when I enter your domain and the relaxed feeling of a rain forest when I am with you. I see the clear blue skies of the world when I look into your emerald green eyes. Your skin feels like the softest of the Earths silk have been woven into your skin. Your breath feels like a fresh gentle breeze after a thunderstorm on a summer morning. You are queen erotica of this world and I am just a twig in your hurricane. I love you Julie."

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 94 (view)

Selfishness versus Consideration Posted: 1/19/2009 2:18:19 PM
Asking to go slow is not rejection. Having no desire to date again or requesting your friendship versus a romantic relationship is. The cornerstone of any relationship is to respect and care about the other persons desires/fears and not run for the hills at the first sign of a necessary compromise. Any man that is not interested in investing their time with a woman is not worth the woman's time.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

be careful of what you wish for, HONESTY Posted: 1/10/2009 1:40:21 PM
The test for honesty. It is like standing with your feet on two horses. One horse represents honesty and one horse represents kindness. Most times you the two will walk side by side in the same direction. If they start to go in different directions you have to choose. Do you want to be honest or be kind? Your choice.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 81 (view)

How do you get a guy to not just want you for sex??? Posted: 1/5/2009 5:59:16 PM
You demand it...with your actions, demeanor and your presentation. The ones that are not interested in what you demand will do you the honor of removing themselves from the equation.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

He dates clones of me!!!!1 Posted: 1/3/2009 11:51:31 AM
People have flavors/types they like. My ex boyfriend is married to a girl that looks like my twin. Just shows that my look is his flavor. It does not have any other significance.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Marriage - why they don't last as long? Posted: 12/22/2008 6:25:57 AM
Because when the going gets tough people get going. People think the grass will be greener and often times it is not it is just different. I have been on both sides of this fence. I know this at the end of the day commitment means more than anything. You need to stay put and both be willing to compromise.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 279 (view)

WHY do men just disappear?? Posted: 12/2/2008 10:13:24 AM
People...men and woman...disappear. Many people do not like confrontation. No communication is communication. It says Good bye. They want to go now.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 865 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 12/2/2008 9:54:06 AM
RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 169 (view)

3 Months, no sex? Posted: 12/2/2008 8:22:11 AM
I am with message 170 above. Some woman do not get intimate until they are sure they want a relationship with that person. Especially if she has been hurt...she is going to be very cautious about where she takes her heart next.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 131 (view)

girls with high sex drive Posted: 12/1/2008 6:43:25 PM
[ The dishes didn't get done, I stopped going to work, the neighbors underneath us moved out - no kidding....] Too funny

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 304 (view)

Can you sleep when you are cuddling? Posted: 11/29/2008 5:23:14 AM
To me that is the best thing about being in a relationship...falling asleep touching someone. I even have had a window unit put in my bedroom so I can keep the bedroom cold...creates the perfect snuggle and touch environment. No cuddling or touching when sleeping...major deal breaker to me. Just preference no right or wrong here.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Ladies Please Review Profile and Advise Posted: 11/5/2008 7:55:38 PM
Shorten it a bit. Leave out anything about the ex. You sound like a great guy.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Why wont this load up Posted: 11/5/2008 5:55:32 PM
I have changed the pics to.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Why wont this load up Posted: 11/5/2008 5:27:20 PM
Made some changes. K...still working on the pics. What do you think about the rest of it.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Why wont this load up Posted: 11/5/2008 2:42:31 PM
Hey could someone review me. I think it needs a little humor in it. Hey could someone review me. I think it needs a little humor in it. Hey could someone review me. I think it needs a little humor in it.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

any help with my profile Posted: 11/5/2008 11:42:26 AM
Tell a little bit more about the things you have really enjoy. Saying you can not find anyone sounds a little desperate. A picture with you smiling would be great.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 245 (view)

Goodafternoon Posted: 11/5/2008 11:36:46 AM
Hey there Could you please review my profile. I know my pic is not very good and I am working on that. Thanks

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 98 (view)

Talking to your exes... Posted: 11/5/2008 8:09:15 AM
If you still have thoughts about getting naked with them...no. If they did horrible things to you...no. If you ended amicably and you do not have sexy thoughts about them...possible.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

If she hates me.... Posted: 11/2/2008 2:51:35 PM
Some exs just like mess with your head. They enjoy hating you so to speak. It gives them some kind of pleasure to feel the control they have on your feelings. Thank god I have never hated anyone. I still love on a certain level all my exs. Hate and love can not exist in the same place. I prefer to fill my life with love.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 386 (view)

Do you see divorced people as damaged goods? Posted: 11/2/2008 2:38:33 PM
Everyone has baggage. I prefer to date divorced people because I know that they have at least been a little trained in the ideals of compromise. I have learned something from every relationship I have had and I think it has made me a better person. The divorced people to watch out for are the ones that HATE their exs. My soon to be ex was like that. He could never understand how my ex husband and I were so friendly toward each other. I found out why when we went to divorce. People who carry hate around are the ones you need to watch out for.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Over Him, But not over him? Posted: 11/2/2008 2:25:18 PM
It takes time to heal. I have rarely seen having sex with someone else soon after a relationship end up leading to anything but more confusion. ...at least with us girl folks. Do not beat yourself up over it though most everyone has done this before. Flirting, is a constructive way to get your confidence back without getting any emotions involved. It feels like you want someone to fill that void...but only time can do such. Keep your chin up it will get easier everyday.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 59 (view)

Whatever happened to the meaning of MARRIAGE?????? Posted: 11/2/2008 2:08:34 PM
I think the problem is when people get married they have this crazy romantic notion that things will always be like they are. Love is a feeling that changes day to day. You marry based on committing your life to that person. That means you have to compromise and decide to love them...even when you do not feel like you love them. When the going gets tuff people get going. You need to stick by the person through it all not just the good times.

darhma1

Joined: 10/27/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

what is going on.... Posted: 11/2/2008 6:02:16 AM
This is a really easy one for me I have been there more than a few times. He needs more than that usual intimacy. Guy in some ways can be just like us girls. They want romance too. I know it sounds nuts but you have been together a while. Stop trying for intimacy all together he is feeling insecure always look your best and don't worry about the rest he will come around. No man can last out forever. Try making him dinner one night and let him initiate the cuddling and take it no further than that. Rent a movie after dinner one you both really want to see so you can use the movie for distraction from "other things". He is feeling very used and unsure of himself guys get that way to. Not all men want to date an energizer bunny no matter what they all say, it gets old. Last but not least do not pressure the issue or it will only make it worse . Be strong independent and understanding. Don't get all bent out of shape and read to much into it. Men hate us ladies doing that. Be loving! Learn to show love another way for a while and when his friends are around stroke his ego. Talk about something nice he did for you or pay him more attention than his friends. If you do all this that I said I promise this to shall pass.

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