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forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

anyone have an answer? Posted: 11/23/2009 3:35:57 PM
^^^I totally agree Taken - you have some really great points. I feel badly for OP and for her situation, I can't imagine the stress. Hopefully she'll find a way to find her own space for her and her child. Cheers!

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

bi man marrying women Posted: 11/23/2009 3:08:58 AM
No thank you. I'd always worry that he'd be out indulging himself with other guys.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 214 (view)

Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish Posted: 11/23/2009 1:35:23 AM
People - this happened in 2005, look at the dates. I'm sure Belle is fine by now. LOL

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

anyone have an answer? Posted: 11/23/2009 1:18:02 AM
Futureshock said it very bluntly but I think she has a good point. Your parents, at this stage of their lives, most probably didn't plan or want to live with a baby and all his/her needs. While they want to help you, there may be some underlying frustration with the whole situation. They don't want to hurl you into the cold - this just isn't what they signed on for. To be honest, I feel a little badly for them. It's their house, their rules, their reactions. Just keep trying your best, do what you can to move out and give them their space back. Just because they're parents doesn't mean that they weren't looking forward to having an 'empty nest' finally and quietly enjoy each other. Try to look at it from their point of view. Good luck! I know you can make it work!

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

4 years 2 LD and now she wants to see others Posted: 11/23/2009 1:09:40 AM
You've been away for two years, and then you'll be traveling around the US for more time once you get back?! I don't blame her - she's young. Why should she wait years for someone? The flame of your relationship has burned out, she had to say something now because you're coming back to the US soon. How long did you expect her to wait around for you? Sheesh.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Girls initiating first contact with guys Posted: 11/22/2009 2:02:29 PM
In my life, dear OP - I always was the pursuer...I don't mind, I'm not shy. I'd be willing to bet money that there's a lot more initiator women on here than you think... PS - email this lady whose profile you like - why not? Give it a shot prod prod poke poke

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Wondering if I went too over the top? Posted: 11/22/2009 9:36:29 AM
Perfect! pats OP on the back joining in the group swoon

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Wondering if I went too over the top? Posted: 11/22/2009 9:11:05 AM
Just out of curiosity dear OP - what did you write on the card? Nothing too gushy I hope...light and friendly I'd bet. You're fine, she'll love it. Good job!

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Wondering if I went too over the top? Posted: 11/22/2009 8:04:50 AM
Aww...that was sweet. Don't second guess yourself my friend. She'll appreciate what you've done :)

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Mandatory DNA tests at birth? Posted: 11/22/2009 4:43:22 AM
Interesting question OP. I feel that if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear...but maybe I'm being naive. I don't have children (I love the single parents forum because I find the discussions here very dynamic, thus I lurk) so maybe I'm missing something. I'll be reading the responses with interest. Cheers! PS - I don't think those dna tests are that expensive. The cheesy "Maury" show does them all the time and it seems to take a day or two (in tv time, so maybe I'm missing something). Maury's able to say "you are NOT the father" in a very efficient time frame it seems...lol.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Trust/Lying Problem Posted: 11/22/2009 4:38:08 AM
...in the grand scheme of things, this isn't a big deal. A kiss is just a kiss...holding hands is just that. Your lady friend needs to put it in perspective - if she's that bothered by a kiss and hand holding done by you before you were thinking about dating, she really needs to relax or not go out with you (if she's that bothered, not going out with you might be a blessing in disguise for you, unfortunately). You fibbed, yes. But, I have a feeling you've learned that little white lies can come back to bite you, so I don't think you'll do it again. Just fess up. It's not a big deal, so don't punish yourself. Apologize for fibbing, tell her you were afraid of her reaction because you like her, and just leave it at that. If she harps on you about this, you may have to gain your own perspective. You didn't murder anyone, so don't feel too guilty or act like you did - okay? Good luck!

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

Breaking a Date...By Text Message Posted: 11/22/2009 3:50:13 AM
He's a coward who wussed out and used texting to back out of a date instead of calling you and possibly having to deal with your disappointment/hurt feelings. Do you want to date a wuss? No. He did you a favour. Wussies aren't sexy. Keep on moving on my friend.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 50 (view)

Ditching a person that's Bad News Posted: 11/22/2009 3:42:45 AM
Phew! You really dodged a bullet there. I guess when he started blasting your phone and facebook he was ticked that his reputation and past actions had caught up with him! I'm glad he showed his true colours so quickly so you didn't have time to second guess yourself hun. Just be extra aware for the next little while, he strikes me as the type that would seek out to 'screw with you' to satisfy his bruised pride. Take care! PS - regnisthegreat - this cracked me right up...thanks for the smile: Honestly? "Everyone says you're a loser. Sorry."

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Interpret a text message Posted: 11/22/2009 3:34:19 AM
Um, OP - I think, and I say this with all due respect, you're over thinking this one. Do you agonize over every little quip and google it? It's talk, it's something people like to say, it's nothing. It's just filler. She thought was you said was amusing. That's it.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

What do I make of this? Posted: 11/22/2009 3:31:40 AM
This girl is using you as a prop or a toy to occupy her time. You will never meet her in person. There will always be a flu, a family emergency, a broken down car, insert random excuse here, etc... to prevent it. She has no intention of meeting you - you've been chatting for months on the phone and internet. You're a pen/phone pal. Nothing more. Sorry. Get out there and meet someone tangible, in real life, that really wants to be in your life. This girl is a mirage. You can't be someone's boyfriend if you've never been in the same room. Sorry. :( Good luck.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Signs of Testing Posted: 11/21/2009 2:19:53 PM
Simple...don't date ladies who like put put guys through 'tests' (whatever the hell that is, sounds crazy). Dating shouldn't be like going through flaming rings of fire. It should be fun not like an exam. If you continually think that women are 'testing' you, you should look at yourself rather than at others'. It may be your own thoughts that are ruining things.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Signs of Testing Posted: 11/21/2009 2:07:58 PM
Why did you insist on waiting a week to call her? She is not 'testing you' - goodness, people have better sh*t to do than that. She obviously thought you lost interest. You treated her like an option. Now you're not an option for her. Simple. Next time, smarten up and don't play bs phone games.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 103 (view)

The other side of WTF was he thinking? Posted: 11/21/2009 2:05:34 PM
Knock it off with the 'toots' stuff - it makes you sound like a moron. The rest of it - who cares? I just find it interesting that you're reacting with such anger to a bunch of people in a forum. None of this is personal, so don't take it that way. Oh, and the Canadian school system is fine. Don't talk about things you obviously know nothing about, it's ignorant and presumptuous. I was on your side until the 'toots' and bashing the Canadian education system bs.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Over 5 months, countless of messages Posted: 11/21/2009 6:20:15 AM
Hi OP - I was just thinking about the hanging out thing. You're in university/college now? This is a time in your life that meeting like-minded people is easiest. Is there a club, activity or something at your school that interests you? Maybe something that appeals to your esoteric nature? Maybe there will be a gal there who shares some of your interests? Give it a shot? I remember when I was in university, I joined an anime club - I was the only gal there for a long time, but I met a lot of really great guys in a 'hang out' atmosphere like you're looking for. I don't think the online thing is for you - I think you will do better in real life situations, doing activities with others that you enjoy! Online dating is rife with complication. I tried meeting someone on PoF - it wasn't for me. I ended up meeting my guy at a comedy festival (we both love stand up comedy)...it was great to meet someone 'organically', in person, in real life. My gut says that's the way to go for you too. See? I'm not all bad. lol

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Would a man be accepting to this situation, or is it useless to even try to meet someone? Posted: 11/21/2009 6:01:59 AM
Really? Small kids in the next room while mommy is entertaining in the livingroom is smart? Yeah Lint Spotter, that part skeezed me out too.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Variations of the Average. Posted: 11/21/2009 5:52:27 AM
Well, I was editing the post I had above, but I'll help this thread die a little faster. For a guy that's been here a mere five months you may not know but a lot of people in relationships participate in the forums. It's fun, and everyone is welcome. The forums are fantastic. People from all walks of life contribute here, and it's wonderful to read different opinions. And, I can handle hearing different opinions without taking it personally. It's fun and informative. Calling me a troll? Sure, okay man. Whatever floats your boat. I think you're just ticked because I don't agree with you. Tantrums are to be expected I suppose. LOL I'm very honest. Brutally so. Many of the other regulars here are as well. We get whiners like you every day. It's par for the course. If you can't handle honesty, go somewhere else. You asked for opinions by posting a thread here - you can't handle it - clearly. Ask for advice from your friends, they'll sugar coat it for you and maybe give you a cookie to boot! Read your profile review thread - I'm not alone. Ah well, I've said enough...bye! I do sincerely wish you good luck. I hope you find the unibrow, self loathing girl of your dreams! EDIT* My friend, sometimes one has to be cruel to be kind. What have your friends been telling you? "You're great, you just need the right woman to come along! Keep your chin up! Don't change! It's her, not you!"...how has that been working for you so far? You're in a rut, try something new! Take a risk - you may be happy with what you discover! You're ticked at me, but if you take anything away from our little verbal fencing, I ask you to think about, "how has what I've been doing working so far? What can I do differently?" Be honest with yourself. Cheers!

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Variations of the Average. Posted: 11/21/2009 5:30:21 AM
You're not interested in feedback OP, it's become abundantly clear - so why did you post? Pity? What is your goal here? You've already had one post deleted this morning for pretty much the same reasons you have going here, so what do you want? Everyone to agree with you, that the bad ol' wimmins out there should just accept whatever? They get a choice too. Oh yes, the nostalgic toys - they may be treasures to you, but to many others - it's crap. Sorry. Keep a few treasures out, but put the rest in storage. Your area looks like a 10 year old kid's. You'll have to bend a little if/when a woman wants to be a part of your world - it's not only going to be about you. EDIT FOR BELOW - my friend, I don't care enough about your situation to be authoritarian. I find it interesting that you're reacting like a tantruming child does when a parent tries to correct them. I'm not an authority, I don't even know you - I'm just going on what I'm reading and seeing. You don't want feedback. Thanks for following my posts - I've never started a thread, but I enjoy the forums and I try to keep it honest, even brutally so. I'm glad you're a fan! grin I just find your stubborn reactions fascinating and it's a slow Saturday morning before I go out for the day. What you want is one of these: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xrvbj2aRT1I Another toy for your collection.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 79 (view)

How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date Posted: 11/21/2009 5:16:05 AM
I'd bet if she were putting out OP wouldn't be complaining. LOL

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Variations of the Average. Posted: 11/21/2009 5:11:03 AM
You can be esoteric, weird, whatever till the cows come home. Be true to yourself, all that good stuff... ...doesn't mean it makes you attractive. All things in balance. Okay my friend - you're complaining that you're getting no play. So, what are you going to do about it save for hanging around this forum with a bunch of people you'll never meet? Something is making ladies not turn your way - what is it? Maybe it's time to grow up...just a little bit, and put the toys away? "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." -- First Corinthians 13:11. PS - the pics of your collection of toys makes me feel claustrophobic, maybe others are feeling the same way...too much stuff!

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Variations of the Average. Posted: 11/21/2009 4:48:28 AM
No one is owed love, a relationship, a date, a kiss, a fcuk, or anything in this life. Unfortunately there is no Ministry for the Undateable - where pity dates are doled out, there is no forced dating of weirdos, etc... People have choices, make decisions based on what they are looking for in a mate, chemistry, shared interests, etc... We're not owed anything in this life. The sooner the entitled whiners out there would get this, the happier everyone would be. Fix your profile, work on your personality, if you feel others see you as a 'weirdo' - look into yourself or get therapy to find out why that is. I honestly wish you good luck, because I sense you are sincere, but you have to look at yourself to find out why you're having a hard time with dating.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

WTH was he thinking? Posted: 11/21/2009 3:44:57 AM
Overthirtyisgood wrote: Is this a pitty thread or what? he was seeing if you would put out to him or not he didnt want you to waste his time, your just someone he meet over the net he had nothing to loose simple as that, if you were someone he meet in the real world he may not of been so sleezie, are you offended that all that he wanted from you was sex if you are move on if your not then im so dumbfounded that anyone could post such a rediculous topic. Ah, there's always got to be one wet blanket at the party isn't there? This isn't a pity topic, it's more of a 'wow, this happened to me...'topic and the forums are rife with them - that's what the forums are for. Go apply to be a moderator if putting the kibosh on things turns your crank so much. Sheesh. As for the OP - funny story, I think you dodged a bullet! lol

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

What to do Posted: 11/21/2009 2:54:14 AM
op - I'm not meaning to pick on you but... ...why are people in such a big rush to find a new love after their marriage breaks down...even a 'loveless' one? When my marriage ended, I thought about finding some sort of bandaid relationship - to reassure me. But, I didn't because that would be just a prop, a distraction. I got my financial, emotional, and legal house in order (yup, I waited for a full DIVORCE) before contemplating dating. People are in such a rush to hop from one monogamous relationship to the next, hurting others along the way. It's like we've taken Burger King's slogan too much to heart in this drive-thru love society "Have it your way". OP - don't sh*t where you eat - there's too many potentially sticky situations with this lady. But you won't listen.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

How would I approach? Posted: 11/20/2009 4:59:18 PM
She has to be nice to you and smile...she's PAID to. It's retail. Don't bother people when they're working.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Time commitment Posted: 11/20/2009 4:58:03 PM
You don't really have space in your timetable for a relationship, if I may be direct. You are looking more for someone to meet up with on a casual basis...but as I'd tell a woman who is thinking about dating a guy whose schedule is jam packed: "Don't make someone a priority when they only make you an option" Doesn't sound like a good deal, does it? Be honest with a perspective lady friend about your schedule.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

your opinion on our situation Posted: 11/19/2009 6:43:43 PM
^^^ o woman take into consideration men's situation of seperation or divorce?

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Reasons for not chatting with someone anymore Posted: 11/19/2009 6:41:30 PM
- Chatting got boring/you became boring - Taking too long to ask out for a date (most people are here looking to date, not for a pen pal) - someone else caught her attention - you said something offensive, weird, odd, or whatever - conversation lagged, got repetitive - didn't feel a connection - grammar/spelling issues Could be countless things...

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 64 (view)

I am breaking up with BF Today! Had ENOUGH Posted: 11/19/2009 6:25:38 PM
So...did you dump him yet? Update please :)

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

your opinion on our situation Posted: 11/19/2009 6:13:49 PM
Separated = no go. Get your 'house' in order before contemplating dating. It's not up to a new woman to pick up the pieces of your past life, so don't make your problems hers and you should be okay.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Single Mums/Non-single mums. A mind-change??? Posted: 11/19/2009 5:28:31 PM
Im finding that single women without children seem to be very ignorant, and are looking for VERY high standards in a man Childless women are not ignorant because they don't want you. I think you're the one that's ignorant. This is a thinly veiled whine disguised as a question. People want what they want. Grow up.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 48 (view)

I am breaking up with BF Today! Had ENOUGH Posted: 11/18/2009 4:18:54 PM
So? DTMFA (dump the motherf*cker already).

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

For Love & Odometer Posted: 11/18/2009 4:06:01 PM
What if...what if... who cares? You'd never know then right? People have preferences - they're allowed. shrug

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Is looks that important to woman, or am i imagining things. Posted: 11/18/2009 1:56:28 PM
Well...I'm not necessarily looking for a GQ model, but I'm also not up for dating a swamp thing or anything.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

Torn between morally right & right to be happy Posted: 11/18/2009 2:40:41 AM
Give your head a shake and find your way out of the fantasy land you've put yourself in. This is not going to happen for you - leave her be.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Anyone had to subject a child 6 or older to surgery? Posted: 11/18/2009 2:37:58 AM
I have nothing to add to the wonderful advice you've gotten OP - I just want to send you my hopes that this surgery is the last and is quick and successful. :)

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Give it two weeks and I always screw it up! Posted: 11/18/2009 2:32:47 AM
I just might want to help fix a couple things if things do start getting more serious... People aren't houses to fix up and renovate OP. Leave this nice woman alone and find an airhead bimbo to play with. This'll suit your shallow nature better. Cheers.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Interested in your thoughts about this... Posted: 11/18/2009 2:23:18 AM
So OP - you've given her stuff back and managed to give her a soppy letter. Are you going to leave her alone now before things get really bad? She's already called the cops on your a$$. It's not about being 'young' as you keep referring to, it's about being obtuse and hardheaded. The relationship is over - leave it be.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

cooking meal at home on a first date. Posted: 11/17/2009 2:33:34 AM
I'm a girl that loves a good, homecooked meal - but not in a stranger's house. I don't care if we've had conversations galore, it just ain't happening. It's creepy, a first date is not the right time for that, even if he thinks he's Wolfgang Puck. If the weather allows, he could put together a kick a$$ picnic in a public park or something, if he's dying to cook.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

How do you explain to a woman Posted: 11/15/2009 3:22:47 PM
Sounds like you have your mind set. Why did you post this question then?

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 51 (view)

My wife left me for my brother after 15 years of marriage. Posted: 11/14/2009 5:35:33 AM
I agree Sparkling Rose - this was posted 4 years ago - I hope the OP is in a better place by now!

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

The Ex Posted: 11/14/2009 3:19:15 AM
He wants to move you and your newborn child to a child molester's house so he can work with him?! Who cares if it's his dad? He's already telling people you're moving? You're not a thing to be moved on a truck! You wouldn't have transportation? You'd be trapped with him (not IF he goes back on drugs, but WHEN) in an isolated place? He hasn't touched drugs for a whole two weeks and you're thinking about this? Seriously? This has danger written all over it. Listen to your family, their minds aren't clouded. They want what's best for you...and this isn't it. It's skeezy. THINK before you decide anything - THINK with your brain, not with your heart. Please. For your baby's sake.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 72 (view)

He's banged his open-relationship roomie.... Posted: 11/14/2009 3:00:29 AM
Good for her - she has two saps paying her way. :P Hun, you did the right thing walking away from this mess. I find it interesting that you keep on defending his limpy-wimpy nature, but meh - he's not the one for you. Let them have their f'ed up arrangement. You deserve better - you're a lovely person and good things will be on the way soon. Have some friend fun for a bit and don't think you'll be an old spinster - you won't! Good luck!

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 54 (view)

BF will not tell me his birthdate or where he works - is this wierd to you guys? Posted: 11/14/2009 2:24:06 AM
I'm just spit ballin' here - but don't you need a person's birthdate to look up criminal records? Maybe he has a criminal past he's not wanting to disclose right now. I'm siding with weird - my bf and I knew each other's birthdays within the first couple of dates, and with his coming up, I was able to send him a little giftie. I don't know what's up with your dude. Weird.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Need an explanation Posted: 11/13/2009 10:46:51 AM
^^^Shame on YOU for taking up four of this guy's 21 posts by putting in your lame two cents on everything. Start your own thread if you have a gripe and don't take over someone else's. Sheesh. PS - you call the ladies here boring, but I'd like you to re-read your tripe. If that's 'exciting', I'd rather be 'boring' as you call it. shaking head

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Was this lady flirting with me? Posted: 11/12/2009 3:04:35 AM
Those examination rooms are small. Why are you making this situation sexual? I'm sure if she wanted to flirt with you, she would have found a more opportune time where she's not wearing one of those hospital gown with the flap open in the back. Sheesh. If you were uncomfortable, you should have gotten up and drew the curtain anyway or left.

forumphantom

Joined: 10/31/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Confront or Ignore Posted: 11/11/2009 3:09:17 AM
Hi Op - I'm in Ottawa too (for sure! lol) Maybe ask her about some area specific events or something only a local would know and would probably not be aware of by searching online. It's possible in this crazy internet world that her ISP thingy goes through Manitoba...? Isn't it? Things get bounced all around the world (...can you tell I'm not technically inclined..? lol) But, to be honest my friend, if your gut is screaming at you, it's usually for a reason. Keep fishing for someone you are sure lives here. Cheers!

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