Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Annie was here
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 343
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?Page 17 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

BUT women seem to think that it is nothing for them to shoot us guys down. And we men should accept it.



First of all I don't know any women,myself included, who has ever felt like it was nothing to turn down someone who has asked us out.Personally it makes me feel awful,but I am not going to pity date.That,in my opinion,is the meanest thing you can do to someone else.It's like saying to them "I am not in the least bit attracted to you.I pity you so I will condescend to a date or two with you".

As for just accepting rejection,well my dear what else are we supposed to do?I have always been a person who has asked men out and made the first move so I have experienced rejection a fair amount of times.So what was I supposed to do when I was rejected? Would shrieking,screaming,yelling and throwing things at the man who rejected me of been the thing to do?Personally in the past when I was rejected,yes i just accepted it because there was nothing else to do.

Also I don't believe,because I have seen not one ounce of proof,that good men are passing over good women.If someone is complaining about being passed over they are either not a good man/woman or they are not taking initiative in the dating world.



Women are more judgemental as they get older.


This is a judgement in and of itself.
 Want_You_2010
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 344
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/8/2010 12:46:17 AM
Annie I will sum it up. Good looking guys are in demand by all types of women and those women can and will get them. We men cannot be wanting all hot women, knowing not all of us will get those women. guys realize what they can attain. Some may fool themselves into thinking they can get any woman.
And in that sense, alot of good people get passed over because of the lack in image/status.looks.
You may do approaching but you are part of a very small pool of women who do. The majority stand back expect the men to come to them
 Annie was here
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 345
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/8/2010 1:30:12 AM

Good looking guys are in demand by all types of women and those women can and will get them.


Now I will bring some logic and reasoning to what you just wrote here."Good looking guys are in demand"? Well of course how true.A gold star for you for stating the obvious.Both good looking men and woman are in demand.That is a fact."Those women can and will get them", you wrote.Ok lets clarify what you wrote here.Good looking and attractive women will get the good looking guys,not the average or plain janes.


From the way you bitterly write about women it seems like in your mind all woman are attractive and have their choice of any man they want.Very few people out there,both men and women,have their choice of anyone they want.Very few people are so hot that their choices and pool of suitors is endless.


The majority stand back expect the men to come to them


So approach women you would not normally approach.Men are the hunters.It's the nature of the beast.Sure we can fight against our natures,but most will not so why bother kicking,screaming and crying about it? It will not make the women who are already not attracted to you,attracted to you after a temper tantrum.

A bit of advice.Change teams.



 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 346
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/8/2010 3:50:04 AM
Obvously you need you your brain fixed and learned sbout the birds and the bees^^^^^If you do not know that men do the chasing and women do the choosing..Then you are in trouble at 41 or you are a troll..Oh i do not need my pecker fixed..I know how life works...Nobody forces any woman to date losers..MR.Nojob..Mr.Convict..Mr.Abuser..Mr.Drama King..Mr.Arrogant(been everwhere,done everything,seen everybody,got everything)..OH!!!! i do not not chase after drama queens..Obvously you choose what you want to read..Let me type this again..I see these POS a mile away.If i hear or see a woman that has dated POS..Then i got my racing shoes on.I do not have the time of day for drama queens.I learned many many moonlights ago.And who siad i go after high matetience women..Sorry you are wrong..You do not have a clue of my taste..You are a piece of work.
 Want_You_2010
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 347
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/8/2010 7:59:48 AM

So approach women you would not normally approach.Men are the hunters.It's the nature of the beast.Sure we can fight against our natures,but most will not so why bother kicking,screaming and crying about it? It will not make the women who are already not attracted to you,attracted to you after a temper tantrum.

A bit of advice.Change teams.


This is quite funny to me. Reason is, if I am a good man, yet I approach the women who are your average, everyday women, not your model-type women who I know I could not even get to give me the time of day, and they are looking for the really good looking guys who they think are good men then we have a problem.
Approaching women, seen as we men have to do it because there just are not enough women like you Annie who approach men, becomes tiresome when you find that it seems that a large majority of the women out there have long lists of expectations and if a guy does not fulfill that long list, he is doomed from the getgo. So in return the question is, how is a guy deemed a good man if he can't get women within his league to give him the time of day? He can think of himself as one, but that is about it right?


Now I will bring some logic and reasoning to what you just wrote here."Good looking guys are in demand"? Well of course how true.A gold star for you for stating the obvious.Both good looking men and woman are in demand.That is a fact."Those women can and will get them", you wrote.Ok lets clarify what you wrote here.Good looking and attractive women will get the good looking guys,not the average or plain janes.


From the way you bitterly write about women it seems like in your mind all woman are attractive and have their choice of any man they want.Very few people out there,both men and women,have their choice of anyone they want.Very few people are so hot that their choices and pool of suitors is endless.


I don't see where I am being any way bitter. And yes it is true women do have their choice of any man they want. If not then women would be approaching the men all the time, but they do not want to experience rejection as the women say as one of the reasons why they do not. AND there is no shortage of men approaching women, so they do not need to do the approaching. So then yes women do have it easier in choosing a man they want. All about impressing her, so guys need to give her lines of BS and she loves it. But later on complains about the men she is choosing.
Being fake impresses more for some reason than being real.

For example: A guy can be really attractive, got style, nice car but no money and women will gravitate towards them alot more. Yet an average looking guy who does not find having to impress on the outside but is a fun guy, who is comfortable to be around, is generous is viewed as a friendship material guy.
So then it is asked, why are good women always preferring the guys who are not good to them? Or is it they are good for them for that time being?

I am quite sure Annie you do not have a shortage of men to choose from. That in turn raises the bar as to who probably would get the time of day given to them.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 348
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/8/2010 9:55:41 AM
So, let's look at both ENDS of the spectrum first.
The women who choose men based on their money, looks and "status", even though some of that money and status might come from flawed values of honesty and ethics, or they overlook other negative traits...(this is NOT in any way meant to imply that good-looking,well-t0-d0,high-status men are ALL deficent in good values and character!) anyway, to ignore factors like character and values and put all weight on external things like looks, money, possessions,while it may not be the mark of a BAD woman, it certainly might be the mark of a woman with a fairly shallow character.Again, this may not make her a "bad" woman per se, but it might call her core values into question.

And then we have the women who, for a variety of reasons, will say "yes" to dating anything male and somewhat functional, whether they feel the least bit of attraction to them or not.
Somewhere in the middle of those 2 outside paradigms are lots of women who are seeking first of all, a feeling of chemistry, connection,and being mostly on the same wavelength with a male partner. And that doesn't have as much to do with looks, money and status as a lot of men seem to want to believe. Hello? Do you want women to date you simply because you are THERE-rather than dating you because she feels drawn to you.
Secondly, part of being a "good woman" is having some brains and common sense. Even though she may feel a certain degree of attraction/interest in a guy who is turning out to be bad news, when a choice has to be made ,she walks away. Now, there is a subset of women who are probably basically "good", but have a problem with certain delusions, or who are OVERLY fond of "challenging" relationships. These are the ones who wind up dating the guys who turn out to be millstones or albatrosses round their necks. Some of them learn better, some of them don't and some of them come out of a couple of horrible relationships and then run into uber-judgemental men in running shoes-LOL, and find themselves in a position of being stuck with either the d*ckhead contingent, or staying single. And it's not my, or yours, or anybody else's place to judge what they "ought" to do.
But there in the middle is a big pocket of fair-to-middling good women, who want to be pair-bonded with a man, but also require that this pair bond is forged with feelings of genuine love, synergy,being on the same wavelength,etc...and the REAL DEAL of those feelings goes way deeper than looks, status and money.
Cindy O
 Civilized Rebel
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 349
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/14/2010 2:01:06 AM

I am quite sure Annie you do not have a shortage of men to choose from. That in turn raises the bar as to who probably would get the time of day given to them.

Hopefully, she won't give the time of day to anyone who doesn't knock her socks off.

The business of women being choosers and shooting a guy down is nothing but a warped and outrageous viewpoint that only results in more rancor than it is worth. There isn't a woman ever born that won't go to any lengths to get a man she wants. She will force herself on him without any reservation. A smart man will let her and decide upon her because THAT says way more good about her than anything else. A man is never happier than when he is with a woman who will stop at nothing to be with him.

If a woman is "selective" or "picky" sure sign that she is manipulative and not worth serious consideration. On the other hand, if she is single minded, deftly destroys all competition, removes any alternatives and pushes hard on a man, then he cannot be happy without her. Even if he avoids getting attached, it will only be with deep regret and sorrow. She will live on in his mind forever and ever and spoil any possible future he has with anybody.

That doesn't, never has, and never will mean that she will do that for just anybody. (Perhaps that is the source of the idea that women are choosey) But if she does it for you. then you had better take notice if you are a man. She IS the one and only -- you don't deserve another chance.

If a woman ever shot you down it was because you were fool enough to think she had any value to you. She is just marking time until her real object of desire shows up. Instead of whining about how she won't go out with you, think about what a drip you are and how arrogant it is to expect her or anyone else to seriously consider doing something just because you asked. If she doesn't shove herself down your throat, then she is not for you in any case.
 SouthBayNative
Joined: 10/15/2010
Msg: 350
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/16/2010 9:06:00 PM
I got a letter today along with my personal stuff dumped on my front porch while I was at work from a guy I dated for two months. He is unemployed for a year so I paid for everything. I even bought him an ipod for Christmas and I am a teacher with a job share so I don't make enough to get by in Los Angeles. He never paid once for a date nor did he buy me anything however tiny. In his letter he said I was too nice and that he wasn't used to that and probably never would be. He didn't touch me sexually for the two months we dated even though he said it was love at first sight and I was precious to him. He refused to discuss why. In his letter he said he felt insecure and a lack of confidence. The last 3 relationships I was kind and got shit on used to pay for half the dates. In the past when I was less mature I was a **** and men chased me like crazy. I'm going back to that. Although I've been paying for half or more of the dates I went on since the 80's way before other women did that. Now they can kiss my a*s*s. I am not paying for one single cup of coffee ever again much less entire dates, and gifts. From today on it's what can you do for me and if the guy doesn't like it he can bugger off. Thank you Steve.
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 351
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/17/2010 5:59:15 AM
I hear you^^^^I agree 100%..I found out NICE does not cut it..I am 44 and in my experence in this great world is this..NICE=weak and A-HOLE=strong..I am very much a loner and proud of it..I learned alot in my 20s when it came to women..Majority (90%)love arrogant type of guys..(Loud mouth,been everywhere,done everything,seen everybody,got everything)They worship Mr.Drug addict,Mr.No job,Mr.Jail bird,Mr.Abuser..Yes..It is a requirment to be a Drama king.If not then you are S-it out of luck..You take a guy that has his crap together,Laid back,job,car.licencse,house,does not have 6 kids,clean cut,does not have a fishing tackle box on his face,art museum on his arms...Then most women can not handle this type..They are scared of him.He is to secure with himself....
 Want_You_2010
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 352
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/17/2010 10:39:16 AM
I got a letter today along with my personal stuff dumped on my front porch while I was at work from a guy I dated for two months. He is unemployed for a year so I paid for everything. I even bought him an ipod for Christmas and I am a teacher with a job share so I don't make enough to get by in Los Angeles. He never paid once for a date nor did he buy me anything however tiny. In his letter he said I was too nice and that he wasn't used to that and probably never would be. He didn't touch me sexually for the two months we dated even though he said it was love at first sight and I was precious to him. He refused to discuss why. In his letter he said he felt insecure and a lack of confidence. The last 3 relationships I was kind and got shit on used to pay for half the dates. In the past when I was less mature I was a **** and men chased me like crazy. I'm going back to that. Although I've been paying for half or more of the dates I went on since the 80's way before other women did that. Now they can kiss my a*s*s. I am not paying for one single cup of coffee ever again much less entire dates, and gifts. From today on it's what can you do for me and if the guy doesn't like it he can bugger off. Thank you Steve.


Reason why I hate the dating scene and that it costs me way too much money. Too many disgruntled, jaded and bitter women out there who feel they need to take thier frustrations out on the next guys to prove a point for what the last guys were like.
It is interesting that when we men get jaded and bitter, women say we should not be taking our frustrations out on them because of our ex. BUT in this post right here, this is what is being said she will do from now on.
Gender vs gender is what dating has evolved into. Sad but true.


I hear you^^^^I agree 100%..I found out NICE does not cut it..I am 44 and in my experence in this great world is this..NICE=weak and A-HOLE=strong..I am very much a loner and proud of it..I learned alot in my 20s when it came to women..Majority (90%)love arrogant type of guys..(Loud mouth,been everywhere,done everything,seen everybody,got everything)They worship Mr.Drug addict,Mr.No job,Mr.Jail bird,Mr.Abuser..Yes..It is a requirment to be a Drama king.If not then you are S-it out of luck..You take a guy that has his crap together,Laid back,job,car.licencse,house,does not have 6 kids,clean cut,does not have a fishing tackle box on his face,art museum on his arms...Then most women can not handle this type..They are scared of him.He is to secure with himself....


Unreal isn't it? A guy has no kids, no debt, no drama, smart, works, has his shit together and women crap all over him. Tear him apart strip by strip to find something negative about him. BUT many women will in fact love to be with a guy who has baggage, an ex who is always causing him drama, a guy with large debt, etc. But the women will always complain about those guys, saying they always seem to meet those types of guys and that there are no decent men out there. All I say to those guys out there who women figure they are not good enough...live your life on your own terms. Do not let anyone bring you down, just be happy and move forward.
 clockwork lime
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 353
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/17/2010 11:40:28 AM

I got a letter today along with my personal stuff dumped on my front porch while I was at work from a guy I dated for two months. He is unemployed for a year so I paid for everything. I even bought him an ipod for Christmas and I am a teacher with a job share so I don't make enough to get by in Los Angeles. He never paid once for a date nor did he buy me anything however tiny. In his letter he said I was too nice and that he wasn't used to that and probably never would be. He didn't touch me sexually for the two months we dated even though he said it was love at first sight and I was precious to him. He refused to discuss why. In his letter he said he felt insecure and a lack of confidence. The last 3 relationships I was kind and got shit on used to pay for half the dates. In the past when I was less mature I was a **** and men chased me like crazy. I'm going back to that. Although I've been paying for half or more of the dates I went on since the 80's way before other women did that. Now they can kiss my a*s*s. I am not paying for one single cup of coffee ever again much less entire dates, and gifts. From today on it's what can you do for me and if the guy doesn't like it he can bugger off. Thank you Steve.


@Southbaynative;
Sorry, this may seem a little like kicking you while you're down, but your missive sounds like the rant of a bitter man who's going to take his anger out on all the women he dates in the future.
Why would you pay for everything in a relationship? Were you trying to be his sugardaddy(mommy)? Don't you think that's a control issue?
Many men have come to the same realization that you have, that in their younger days when they behaved like complete azzhats, women seemed to like them a lot better. That's why there is a great incentive for men to behave in a cavalier fashion towards women and relationships. It does pay off.

What you're saying is that you behaved like the nice "guy" and got shat all over. Seems like a common enough complaint. Yawn.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 354
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/17/2010 12:26:32 PM

I got a letter today along with my personal stuff dumped on my front porch while I was at work from a guy I dated for two months. He is unemployed for a year so I paid for everything. I even bought him an ipod for Christmas and I am a teacher with a job share so I don't make enough to get by in Los Angeles. He never paid once for a date nor did he buy me anything however tiny. In his letter he said I was too nice and that he wasn't used to that and probably never would be. He didn't touch me sexually for the two months we dated even though he said it was love at first sight and I was precious to him. He refused to discuss why. In his letter he said he felt insecure and a lack of confidence. The last 3 relationships I was kind and got shit on used to pay for half the dates. In the past when I was less mature I was a **** and men chased me like crazy. I'm going back to that. Although I've been paying for half or more of the dates I went on since the 80's way before other women did that. Now they can kiss my a*s*s. I am not paying for one single cup of coffee ever again much less entire dates, and gifts. From today on it's what can you do for me and if the guy doesn't like it he can bugger off. Thank you Steve.




So, because YOU were a naive pushover, you're going to take it out on the rest of the world?
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 355
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/17/2010 12:51:22 PM

From today on it's what can you do for me and if the guy doesn't like it he can bugger off. Thank you Steve.

In a couple days you'll calm down and things will seem better.
Kinda hard to tell you "lesson learned" because if you haven't learned by now, you're probably not going to; but anything's possible. At least with that attitude, you won't be buying any coffee or beer for anyone.

Why you'd get so emotionally involved with a guy who didn't touch you in 2 months and treated you as a source of entertainment, emotional gratification, and free meals is beyond me, but I suppose if you believe in love at first sight and that you're precious to someone who hardly knows you... anything's possible.
 SouthBayNative
Joined: 10/15/2010
Msg: 356
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/17/2010 3:51:05 PM
Nah, done being nice. If they can't take me out they can't date me. I'm not paying for anything ever again. All my money is going into my TSA and mutual funds. I've already got quite a nest egg scrimped and saved over the years (a little over $100,000. on a crappy teacher's salary thanks very much!) and will inherit a nice amount (and half a house in Palos Verdes) but it's all about me from now on and my future. The funny thing was when I first posted I got slammed for resenting paying for everything and expecting sex. Now I get slammed for the opposite. No pay, no play! I have a date this weekend with a guy 11 years my junior who knows how it works. Funny how God seems to know our hearts and just when we feel broken He seems to come in. Yay me!
Gotta love these forums!
 hemanmachostudlovegod
Joined: 11/28/2010
Msg: 357
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/17/2010 4:14:17 PM
God rewarded you for having a snit by sending you a boy who will buy you dinner? I wonder what I could get if I stomped about and broke some furniture. Maybe god will send me a topless pizza delivery girl, with extra cheese.
 SouthBayNative
Joined: 10/15/2010
Msg: 358
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/17/2010 5:12:48 PM
One can only hope.
Yeah, God has always been good to me. And I try and appreciate it. Sometimes I forget but then I'm human. Actually I knew this man from several years before but wouldn't date him because I was dating others. And he invited me to Europe during my xmas vacation where he has a business trip. And I didn't have to stomp or break anything. Yay, me again!
 SouthBayNative
Joined: 10/15/2010
Msg: 359
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/18/2010 1:48:28 PM
^^^Or they grow up the children of alcholics/drug addicts/sex addicts/abusers and violence, feel unworthy of love and think their job is to give and give and give and to take care of others, that they are only good for that and that they are undeserving of being given things and being taken care of.
Therapy works wonders.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 360
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/18/2010 5:46:08 PM

Men might approach a woman..But women choose.That is a fact


nah, you are wrong about that my friend...

men approach and men choose which woman he wants to stay with ...

the woman only gets to accept the initial approach.

that is why most women are caught up with so many clowns.

once a man gets in a woman's ears and then her bed....she's pretty much his....

that is a fact.
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 361
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/18/2010 6:38:39 PM
WOMEN DO NOT CHOOSE !!!! OH!!!REALLY!!!!!Maybe in your world..But it is fair to say if you took a poll and ask the average dude on the street the percentages would say other wise..Like at least 80% of men would say they are the ones doing the chasing and the women are doing the choosing...And that is being generous..The percentage is probably much higher....
 hemanmachostudlovegod
Joined: 11/28/2010
Msg: 362
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/18/2010 6:46:19 PM
If 80% of men are chasing after women about whom they know nothing other than how she looks, it falls to women to sort through that superficial interest, considering the other criteria, everything from personality to verifying membership in the same species. Be at least a little bit discerning as you chase, if chase you must.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 363
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/19/2010 6:45:36 AM

Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?


It boils down to attraction.............on many levels.

Whats makes a woman or man "good" is in the eye of the one looking..
The desired purpose/end is different for each individual..
 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 364
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/26/2010 11:03:25 AM
Peppermint, I think you're absolutely right. But then I think there are people that are devoid of passion, in the sense, that they "pick" or settle for a partner like someone might settle on a pair of socks!

I've said this before and used this analogy. I want to drive something (speaking of a vehicle now, not a woman) that I am passionate about, not just a from A to B conveyance method! People are clearly different. Also, some people (I guess) can afford to be more choosy and selective then others (in partners as well as cars).
 eastwood969
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 365
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 12/27/2010 1:31:14 PM
Men don't overlook good women, they over look women that don't look good. Yeah thats the same as women with men. Tragic, isn't it?
 slimslim32
Joined: 1/28/2013
Msg: 366
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 2/25/2013 11:09:05 AM
I agree. I've been single for quite awhile and so has my friend. Good women, work hard, got our own, Christian/God fearing, and pretty. Not only is there a shortage of men, there's a even bigger shortage of good men. Everyones mind is so trained by these video on tv, and these songs on the radio which is sex, sex, sex, that men don't know how to be men anymore.
 midnight_excitment12
Joined: 12/7/2012
Msg: 367
view profile
History
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 2/25/2013 11:57:27 PM
Ok, I hate and love this question for both sex's. First off good or bad is only a matter of speaking. For one to be bad or good it could imply on nature, attitude, looks or genuine behavior. However I see these as all irrelevant to the case of the so called "look". When one is looking it puts them in a behavioral pattern. This pattern is on the prowl, and thus puts this person in a agenda and category t that many can pick up on. This generating a less effective way of coming off as who you really are. I never seem to fall in love with someone till i give up on looking for it, really. I'm personally very horrible at starting new relationships but I'm confused why most last long. I always want to reverse myself and see what it is like to be on the opposite side of the spectrum. Be that guy that has variety and never struggles to have multiple partners however can never seem to keep one. lol, these questions always seem to wrap your mind around things in a spin cycle and then stop ya abruptly leaving you standing with a funny look on your face.. I over look the genuinely good women because they at that time and moment probably are good and I want to be bad, so i look for a bad one in hopes to become good together, this is one theory. I'm stick with attitude is the final reasoning.
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  >