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 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 67
Why are men so darn... respectful?Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

OutMind, I am just a Cephas girl, do I qualify? :-)


Maybe. Campy or Shimano gruppo?

Boy is everybody so uptight here.

I think half the population here have sat in front of a computer for too long. Go out. Ride a bike. Get that delicious endorphin flowing through your body.
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 72
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Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 5/23/2008 2:51:29 PM
Homeonthecoast wrote: You start off a Thread saying a guy didn't sort through your mixed signals and somehow that makes it a guy problem. So far I haven't read any Posts that support your view.
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Why don't you leave the girl alone? She made some semihumorous observations about a fairly common event, actually complimenting the male bicyclist for having desirable male qualities. Maybe there is a lesson in there for all of us

All she said was she was hot and sweaty and a guy on a bike stopped and said hi, and she didn't know what to say, and he rode off...

More importantly for forum users to take people seriously, one better have their basic facts correct. As such:
Theres a whole bunch of posts that agreed with her. A lot of ladies said "yeah I do that". you said "I haven't read any posts that support your view". Did you just not read any posts at all, or ???

And you were bashing on her...telling her to look in the rearview mirror, or is that what you call friendly forum policy where you are a forum moderator.
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 74
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Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:40:14 PM
I'd better not get married so young in life, again. Yet, if I could find a good nutcase who thinks I'm the sane one...that wouldn't be so bad. But, I'd probably chat with her in a store or waiting frikin forever to buy stamps at the PO and then the clerk says "you could have used the APT", and I'd be too chikin to get her number too.

Thats the funny thing about this thread, if you said "we were all drinking after the races, and some of my old boyfriends came by and said things have changed, they want to get a job, and asked me to move in" You probably would have gotten lots more support by some.

As is, only about 50% of the people who understood this thread agreed with you, hey thats not too bad.
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 76
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Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 5/23/2008 4:13:31 PM
OP: I'm gonna give it to you straight.

Generalizations about entire genders of people don't work. A smart-ass demeanor doesn't work. Mixed signals don't work. Game-playing and coyness don't work. Bullshit doesn't work. You don't really know if the guy was interested in you or not....all you know is that you didn't act on your own mild interest. Instead of analyzing the blown opportunity to death, a winner moves on and makes sure not to blow similar opportunities in the future.

Being too "cute", clever, sophisticated, or shrewd is always a chemistry-killer. If you just created the thread for troll purposes, then carry on . However, if you're really looking for quality dates, you need to be straight-forward with potential partners and learn to recognize/screen guys who are capable of the same. The cat-and-mouse thing works for some people, but most men and women actually want to have fulfilling connections with each other.
 Traveling Man MS
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 82
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:07:35 PM
I think it's unfortunate that North American society is actually how you put it. I have spent time in several other areas of the world and you are right in some ways that men are men and step up to the plate. Actually when I travel I tend to become that man more so than here. North America is just.....well, different. I don't know if it's from way back in Puritanical days still filtering through (there is a bible belt for a reason) or the result of a feminist and litigious society, but women have become the new men to some degree. And I think they ironically hate it. (I'm certain to take the heat off of you now abc6587, if that's your real name).

I see a lot of women who wonder if chivalry is dead, but I've actually been scolded by women for holding the door for them and letting them enter a building before me. How insane is that? The fact is I would have held the door for any human that was approaching behind or beside me. I'm not here to bash women, I love them way too much for that. Just remember that you can't have your cake and eat it too. (Luckily for me I like pie).

As for other cultures, it really is different out there in the big, bad wild world. In Asia, for instance, women tend to be demure out in the open, but tigers in private. I sort of like that, personally, but I now men who wouldn't. In South America, it is common practice for men to go out and have sex (hell, women do it too) and go back to their wives and it really doesn't matter. The fact remains that for all of the craziness in North America (porn industry, Girls Gone Wild, and stuff like that), it is probably one of the most sexually repressed cultures in the world. If people had a more healthy attitude toward sex (and I don't mean having random sex), then perhaps guys wouldn't take your "MIXED" signals wrong and just ride off on you. Hell, men would approach married women and just for conversation if we thought it were okay. I've had women flash their ring in my face and tell me to go away. Little did they know I was there as much to talk to her single friend.

Anyway, OP, don't get too upset at people for voicing their opinions. Afterall, you did ask for it by initiating this thread. Take a moment and understand North American culture, just as we should learn a bit about yours and go away having learned something.

Reminds me of a quote:

"Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 85
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:02:32 PM
I just want to know how it goes when you see him again. I'm sure you won't miss your opportunity the next time. Our culture is very different from Europe and many other countries. Some for the good, some not. You do need to be more obvious with most American men. Sexual harassment claims are rampant and men are leery, with good reason. It's a shame that it has come to this, but for their own protection, many will not approach a woman without a blatant invitation. Ambivalence only causes more confusion. The direct approach leaves no question as to your feelings. Good luck!
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 91
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Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:38:39 PM
Maybe he was just flirting for the sake of flirting. Maybe he flirts when his girlfriend isn't looking.
 dead account
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 93
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:17:43 PM
ABC... I just have to ask you your opinion about something since I now understand your mindset

If you or a pretty woman were in a grocery store and everytime I would go down an isle we kept passing each other through and each time you smiled at me.... Is that an invitation for further communication ?

If so, I'm heading back to the local walmart because I've missed a whole lot of opportunities over the years ...
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 99
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 5/24/2008 7:19:24 AM

I can see he is dying to get my phone number,


Well, YOU might have been dying for him to ask for it.


He is sensitive to the signals like a barometer,


Then he should have known you were sending "mixed" signals.

Ya know, IF he were VERY interested, he would have risked asking. The worst that could have happened was that he would have received a polite rebuff. Sometimes, we assume too much.

Let us know if you track him down.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 100
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 5/24/2008 7:19:48 AM
And why didn't you give the number to him without him asking?
 Spanish Lover XCLNTE
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 102
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 5/24/2008 8:05:58 AM
You miss an important angle. I was once a serious cyclist. Serious cyclists don't date non-serious cyclists. Keep training, maybe you'll get lucky one day.
 bullielover62
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 105
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 5/24/2008 8:44:49 AM
... in an ideal world, he'll strike a conversation. Sure enough, he stops, asks me if I am OK, I say yes, compliment him for his biking skills, and we chat for a while. Problem is, I've just biked 8 miles and I am all sweaty, so I am giving him mixed signals. He is sensitive to the signals like a barometer, I can see he is dying to get my phone number, but eventually I get totally embarrassed by the whole situation, touch the bike's handle bar to pull away, and immediately he wishes me a good day and disappears, and I can see he does so with regret. ...why did he go away?

Opie.... you were the one to initiate the move away..... and he took that final sign from you and did the same. What part of you starting to leave has left you unclear?

I was the first to make an eye contact. My eyes invited him to approach. I was the first to compliment the guy. I kept my side of the conversation. That's progress, for me.

Wunnerful!! Now next time you can take it just a few steps further.... and start by not being the one to initiate LEAVING.....

Next time you stay.... don't up and leave if you're interested..... STAY as long as you can
and keep engaging.... and maybe he'll ask for your number. And if he doesn't, you'll bike
away knowing you did what you could.

So enough with the coulda, shoulda, woulda's..... just take what you've learned here and
apply to the next opportunity.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 106
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 5/24/2008 8:46:08 AM

Actually, believe it or not... I don't mind being a liberated woman with balls... I mean, if that's what men want here.. (off to grow some).


No, my dear--grow some ovaries. Balls are VERY unattractive on women.
 bullielover62
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 108
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 5/24/2008 9:47:33 AM

Actually, believe it or not... I don't mind being a liberated woman with balls... I mean, if that's what men want here.. (off to grow some).




No, my dear--grow some ovaries. Balls are VERY unattractive on women.

BRASS ovaries, gwen..... That's the line I use..... and it fits.....

Sounds so much better than b*tch... and the connotation is stronger.......
 Traveling Man MS
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 109
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 5/24/2008 9:55:23 AM
abc6587 said:


Actually, believe it or not... I don't mind being a liberated woman with balls... I mean, if that's what men want here.. (off to grow some).


If you need help with that, I think the Chia Pet people have that in their arsenal. See the link/url below:

http://cgi.ebay.com/Like-Chia-Pet,-Growin'-Dick_W0QQitemZ330238146255QQcmdZViewItem?IMSfp=TL08052213128a9360

(Copy and paste in your browser to get the joke)
 Avalon Dreamer
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 112
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:43:45 AM
Well nice guys are great because............... nice guys DO finish last ...lol

( I wonder if anyone got that ..??
 4dutyandhumanity
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 113
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Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 5/25/2008 1:39:27 PM
^^^^^^^^^

At least one.
 Boricua Papi
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 115
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/4/2008 9:38:09 PM
Mixed signals? You sound like you are desperate for a man you just met. Relax! For every woman there are 11 men... not sweating!
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 116
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Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/4/2008 10:19:57 PM
Don't forget to show as much cleavage as legally possible. I think even serious cyclists would slow down for a breather with you.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 117
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Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/4/2008 10:28:00 PM
Guess I am a late comer to this thread... but here it goes...

Re: OP

In the USA there is a very thin line between appropriate behavior and being a creepy stalker. It is such that two men can do exactly the same thing, one will be cute, romantic, etc... the other will be creepy, stalkerish, etc. the line is how the woman sees the guy. That line is different with every woman for every guy she encounters and a guy has to guess where it is for her with him. His past experiences will guide his judgment.

In other countries it is still socially acceptable to pursue women, even do so persistently. In the USA it is not, unless she wants him to, and he has to figure out if she does without much to go on.

He didn't get a signal that said go ahead, so he rightly took it as 'go away'. It's the only thing he could do.

Me, I probably wouldn't have stopped at all or even slowed down. IME just stopping and asking a woman if she's ok is interpeted as stalkerish. Has something to do with looks I think ;)
 boisegoodbadboy
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 118
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/4/2008 10:34:30 PM
next time...show him your chesticles...he'll stick around
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 119
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Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/4/2008 11:25:59 PM
Me, I probably wouldn't have stopped at all or even slowed down. IME just stopping and asking a woman if she's ok is interpeted as stalkerish. Has something to do with looks I think ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This has nothing to do with looks, and it is in no way "stalking". Yes if some pervy old creep followed her around the bike path and was whacking his weenie like I do, that would be creepy or weird, but, the word "stalking" does not apply.

Now, possible, the OP could be accused of "stalking" if she rides her bike there the same time everyday looking for him. And that would be very mild.

Hey guys (and gals), if you find yourself making off the wall judgements about the opposite sex and relationships, please, go look in the mirror. or get a dictionary. Even Tennessee Women dig dudes who know what words mean.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 120
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Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:58:44 AM
it really is simple, ask him for his phone number lol
 Sunshine-99
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 122
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Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:23:08 AM
Those first-time encounters can be very awkward for both people. Nobody was assertive enough due to nerves or just appearing being polite,etc.

Next time, you should put out a quick joke such as "where are you going to be the next time it happens?." A quick witt like that can generate an interesting response. That way, you put the hint out there. He either runs with it or runs away.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 123
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:26:45 AM
Typical women; you are so into mind reading and assuming what someone is thinking and feeling that it gets ridiculous. Enough with the mind reading and games.

I had something like this happen and I went away because I was having a pleasant conversation but I really wasn't interested in her.

Women see things how they might be and try to figure things out. Mature men are direct, dont like games, and are not into assuming and mind reading. He left because he had better things to do than decipher your codes and thoughts.
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