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 whitegold765
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 124
Why are men so darn... respectful?Page 7 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Yeah, I can't see a single thing the guy did wrong except failing to read your mind. Silly of him.

I mean... women want men to hit on them... but only attractive men they're interested in. How are you supposed to know whether you are or not?

Mixed signals? Stop trying to give signals. We're too stupid. Unless the signals involve pointing at your breasts they're too subtle. What you think is a clear signal has him wondering if you're itchy need to go to the toilet or something. Here's a clue for the ladies. Use your words. We actually understand most of the english language! You may need to explain the bigger words, or possibly do some sort of charades.

Stop complaining that there's a "man drought" because none of the thousands of attractive single men out there happen to have the psychic gift that seems to be a requirement to make any sort of connection with a woman. Take the responsibility for yourselves and just make it clear (with actual words, not a subtle combination of body language and hand gestures) that you're interested.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 125
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:14:03 PM

Don't forget to show as much cleavage as legally possible. I think even serious cyclists would slow down for a breather with you.


Not really.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 126
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:14:51 PM
Wow white Gold you are right on; if this was an overweight young guy she would have not given him the time of day, and might have thought he was stalking her.

Congrats women; you wanted equality and now you are equal. You are now as shallow and superficial as most men.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 130
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Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:05:40 PM

What?? In who's world? If a guy were to stop and ask me if I'm ok, I'd be thinking he was a sweetheart. Goodlooking or not.
Guys seriously what have you got to lose. She either thinks you're a sweetie or she's a stuck up b*tch and thinks you're creepy. But who cares if she thinks you're creepy. She's not worth worrying about.
You could meet the girl of your dreams if you take the chance.



This has nothing to do with looks, and it is in no way "stalking". Yes if some pervy old creep followed her around the bike path and was whacking his weenie like I do, that would be creepy or weird, but, the word "stalking" does not apply.


As to what world, saturday night live made a sketch of it, so it can't be that out of the mainstream experience. Google up "sexual harassment and you" it should pop up.

If not quite stalkerish, it is considered creepy by many. Especially without a polished delivery.

But as to what to lose... well, it's not exactly a pleasant experience and some women well they aren't exactly friendly about it. It gets tiresome. Sometimes the odds are so low it's just not worth playing anymore.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 131
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:19:27 PM
If what the mens is saying is troo -- the human race would've died out before the last ice age. There has always been a lack of saber tooth tigers and woolly mammoths to tell ya'll what to do. So buck up fellas, and own up: you're perfectly capable of tracking/bagging that which you wish to track and bag.


 farmer1
Joined: 2/6/2007
Msg: 132
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:40:06 PM
maybe he typecasted you as a particular type that he was afraid to ask.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 134
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Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:40:00 PM

If what the mens is saying is troo -- the human race would've died out before the last ice age. There has always been a lack of saber tooth tigers and woolly mammoths to tell ya'll what to do. So buck up fellas, and own up: you're perfectly capable of tracking/bagging that which you wish to track and bag.


What we are talking about is actually very recent (in evolutionary terms) and is really only a cultural thing in the USA as far as I can tell.

I think it's an outgrowth of fighting sexual harassment, etc. Anyway it teaches that unwanted advances are wrong. unwanted persistence is stalking. Trouble is the guy can never know for sure. The difference between 'wanted' and 'unwanted' is in the woman's head. That in turn causes respectful guys to stop when they get any negative signs, mixed signals, or just nothing positive.

Then there are the women that just want to toy with a guy... to give him just enough that remains persistent. Sure, it's mostly when younger, but the experience sticks. It's wasted energy. Lessons learned the hard way.

If you had to deal with it, eventually you wouldn't want to play any more either. Clear signs immediately or move on becomes the mode of operation.

Maybe it is feminist crapola, but it exists and has been widely taught none the less.

Then there is the fact that how much energy a guy will put in is proportional to how much he is interested as well... but that's probably another topic.
 InstantKarma620
Joined: 1/11/2008
Msg: 135
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:35:20 PM

OK, I went cycling... barely made it up a long, steep hill and sat down on the ridge to catch some breath. There comes a gorgeous looking guy biking fast up that hill, effortlessly... I am sitting there, panting, thinking that, in an ideal world, he'll strike a conversation. Sure enough, he stops, asks me if I am OK, I say yes, compliment him for his biking skills, and we chat for a while. Problem is, I've just biked 8 miles and I am all sweaty, so I am giving him mixed signals. He is sensitive to the signals like a barometer, I can see he is dying to get my phone number, but eventually I get totally embarrassed by the whole situation, touch the bike's handle bar to pull away, and immediately he wishes me a good day and disappears, and I can see he does so with regret.


Were the signals that he was so sensitive to your heavy panting and you sweating profuciously? Maybe he just wasn't into you.
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 138
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Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:38:34 PM
Ladies, if we could read your minds...trust me...not a single man would be on this site.
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Oh thats it! And I'd be a millionaire, president of shocko, about 5" bigger and 3" more around. Anyone else here into psychic mindreading, ghost hunting, hollow earth theories. Then I could meet a woman.

Yeah ladies, don't you know we aren't psychic, that explains why we are all here. you guys will be single for a long time. I don't think our bicycling gal will be though.
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(((Google up "sexual harassment and you" it should pop up.))) Hey, for all you pissed off guys waiting for ladies to poke a hole in their wet panties when they meet you, try watching Saturday Nite live if your dating style isn't working. And google "stalking" and see what pop up. I dare ya
 InstantKarma620
Joined: 1/11/2008
Msg: 140
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/6/2008 11:54:39 AM

pyscho or freako .....really, you'd unzip and do all that, then meet me cycling in Lou Ky


??????? I have no idea what you meant by that.
 InstantKarma620
Joined: 1/11/2008
Msg: 142
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/6/2008 3:58:14 PM
^^^^^^No biggie. Was just confused because it didn't make any sense. I did live in Louisville for 8 years though. Thought it may have been somone who recognized me and was having a little fun with me. LOL
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 143
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/6/2008 4:22:41 PM
I can see he is dying to get my phone number. > abc6587


I think he's got your number.

Best wishes - Soul Union.
 chickalina
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 144
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Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/6/2008 4:30:40 PM
MSTRKRFT - I am with you on this one. If she was "all that" and he was a hunk (of course in her story he would be like a prince charming). then sweat or no sweat (which I am sure he was also) things would of worked out differently but then there wouldn't be any kind of complaining would there
 Sardonis
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 147
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/6/2008 7:08:39 PM
Well this thread has inspired me,

I am going out tonight and I am not going to be "respectful".
 Robert4u2love
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 149
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:55:19 AM
OK, I went cycling... barely made it up a long, steep hill and sat down on the ridge to catch some breath. There comes a gorgeous looking guy biking fast up that hill, effortlessly... I am sitting there, panting, thinking that, in an ideal world, he'll strike a conversation. Sure enough, he stops, asks me if I am OK, I say yes, compliment him for his biking skills, and we chat for a while. Problem is, I've just biked 8 miles and I am all sweaty, so I am giving him mixed signals. He is sensitive to the signals like a barometer, I can see he is dying to get my phone number, but eventually I get totally embarrassed by the whole situation, touch the bike's handle bar to pull away, and immediately he wishes me a good day and disappears, and I can see he does so with regret. Within seconds, I turn around and chase him downhill so fast that I don't know how I did not break my neck, and he is nowhere to be found. So now I am going to bike this trail every day like an idiot I am.

Question... why? I've been to countries where you can't get rid of a guy for the life of yours; OF COURSE I am giving mixed signals, I am a woman for heaven's sake... why did he go away?


REPLY: You shouldnt have gave him mixed signals. If you really liked him you should have make it very clear. Guys get tired of getting rejected so many in doubt wont make a move unless the woman smiles a lot and shows she is interested. Next time discard the things that were going through your head that gave him the mixed signals and flirt!
On the other hand if he was a really good looking guy. He probably already had a hot babe that he was commited to so he didnt want to cheat. You have to repect him for that. Either way sometimes we just miss. So forgive yourself and move on. And know exactly what to do next time.
 ZenMasterHD
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 150
Why are men so darn... respectful?
Posted: 7/21/2008 9:25:19 PM
I have read a lot of posts, in response to this OP, from men who have had horrible experiences with our culture. It’s true, that the threat of “sexual harassment” hangs over many modern mens’ heads like a horrible ghost, haunting every interaction they have.

American society went crazy at some point in the last few decades. A bizarre (and unintentional) off-shoot of the feminist movement is that men aren’t sure what they are and aren’t allowed to do when it comes to women. Many men are convinced they’re only a breath away from getting a drink thrown in their face being perceived as the villain from an episode of “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.” Nearly every TV show and movie in our culture tries to paint every sexual advance as immoral, unwanted and criminal.

Most men do not want to be immoral or criminal, so we grow up focusing on NOT being evil, lecherous losers, like the characters on TV, the trouble is we don’t know what we ARE supposed to do. So men often freeze up and run away when they meet a pretty girl, especially if they get mixed signals.

Well men, I feel your pain. I suffered from this problem worse than most. I was so lonely and confused in high school that I tried to kill myself (I really did). I really could not understand how I could ever get a girlfriend or make friends, and I was so afraid of being labeled “creepy” by our culture that I was too scared to hit on any girls.

To the men who’ve grown up in this situation, I say to you: it’s not your fault, you are victims, society has played a cruel joke on you and you have a right to be angry.
… But having said that, I have an important question to ask you:


Do you want to stay a victim all your life?


While it’s true that our culture has screwed you up, and that it’s not your fault, it’s also true that you have the power to save yourself. Furthermore you are only one who has the power to save you. No one else can do it for you.

It is possible to LEARN, by trail and error, what you are and aren’t allowed to do socially. It is possible to learn how to make more friends and to successfully pick-up women. I believe there was a lot of frustration in the posts by many men on this forum, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You can be the guy who gets laid all the time, if you want to. You can be the guy who understands women.

Instead of complaining about how women “always send mixed signals” on an internet discussion group, go out and meet some women! Accept that nearly everything TV has taught you about what women want is a lie. Try new things, experiment! Accept that not everything you try will work, but everything can be learned from.

To the people who told the OP that she should have just given him her number I have some sad news for you: women like it when a guy makes the first move. Confidence is sexy. If a woman actually does give him her number... bravo! Good for her! But most women are just too shy to do that, if we spend our lives waiting for the girls to spontaneously throw numbers at us, we will have a long and lonely wait.

To all those guys who posted things blaming the OP, I have a question: How many girls numbers have you asked for in the last month? If the answer is zero then you have no right to complain.

And when you do talk to a woman, remind yourself that she is not the one making all the problems in society and on TV. It’s true our culture has messed up the way men and women relate, it’s true men have been taught to fear sexual harassment charges or merely being judged as “creepy,” but that is not the fault of the individual woman you are talking to. Do not blame her.

There are TONS of books on the subject of how men can interact with women in a respectful, successful way. It is pretty easy to respect a girl and also have sex with her once you know how. I won’t post any titles here, because I’m not a commercial, but just do a google search.

In short, to the dozens (if not hundreds) of men who posted complaints about women sending mixed signals, and paranoia about sexual harassment laws, you are absolutely right. My heart bleeds for. But, now that you’ve complained, did complaining really help anything? Ask yourself if you want to just keep complaining all your life or if you want to step up, man up, and make your life better. You do have the power to escape this cycle.
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