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Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 2
I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
You cant- I have tried. I have been like you and tried to
reason with myself and talk myself out of it but I could
not come up with a valid reason why I should not have
feelings for him.
So here I am in the same place as you- scared to death that I may get
let down or hurt- but you know what, fuck it Im taking the chance because
I rather KNOW the outcome and everything that is in store for me and
risk everything than sit on my hands for the rest of my life WONDERING
what might have been.

We all get hurt, we all have people walk in and out of our lives. Thats
part of life.
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 3
view profile
I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 3:52:49 PM
Oh Shug, why on earth would you want to continue to hold your life hostage to the fear of being hurt? That is your first questions...

Next, is you like someone, and fear so much fearing being hurt, but ALL MEANS run as fast as you can in the other direction, and don't look back. Don't think about him, don't text him, don't look at him if he comes around you, in fact give him a really dirty look, so he wonders what he did wrong, and then leaves because of the confusion...

Liking another is part of being human, part of the internal desire to mate and procreate your genes. Liking someone one and falling in love has its risks, but the best part is that IF you find someone that is as into you, as you are into them, then it can be completely wonderful. Sure it is work, and sometimes despite the work it may not work out.

HOWEVER it seems you are set on never being hurt that way, so my advice to you is stay away from the opposit sex as much as possible, this way you can avoid even the small chance of liking someone that MAY hurt you...
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 7
I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 3:58:52 PM
I just read your profile, so I am not sure if you are being serious with your question. But I am sure if you hang around the person in question long enough, you will find plenty of reasons not to like them. Then, if that doesn't work, then you may have stumbled across someone that you can really like!
Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 9
I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 4:16:06 PM
To me she felt like a lifetime. I had this strange feeling about her, but as I worked with her I tried to just totally ignore her. I was used to more aggressive type women, but she seemed weaker than the women I had been used to dating. Over-Time she started questioning me about " Why men don't date independent women " ? I did sense that she was attracted to me, but her approach was too light for what I was used to dating-wise. One day she got up what little nerve she had and asked me out. My mind went quickly to having her and sensing that my love for her would be deeper than any other. Then my mind went to the possibility of the loss of that love and I knew that my heart would not be able to bare it. So, I answered her; " I didn't want the responsibility of going out with or being bothered by anyone." The rejection was kind because it was sure and quick. But it wasn't at all a rejection of her (which she had no way of knowing); I was rejecting the possibility of the pain of loss. That was over 20 years ago. She's either a doctor now or her Brother writes songs for Nora Jones ?
 Spanish Lover XCLNTE
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 11
I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 5:53:09 PM
just text him some crazy message like "I need some help opening up a pickle jar", it will make him feel like a hero and think you're funny, too.
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 12
I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 6:02:12 PM
Its easy to fall out of love. Find their faults, and keep remembering them. The problem is, you'll keep enjoying the feeling of being in love, b/c you feel so part of life, so alive, if you just have an object, any object, to love. We humans so love to stick around our temptations, hoping an opening will show.

But, you'd probably feel more comfortable with some substitute to love, some object that you can actually have control over, that will never hurt you b/c you won't allow it.

So, now you can make a decision. Do you want to try something new? The pain you fear, isn't caused by losing the person. Its the fear we feel that we cannot recover when the end comes.

Get to know yourself, you'll learn you can soldier on. The pain won't disappear, it'll just be bearable, and the fear will reduce.

If you seek control, do not find it in saving yourself pain. Find it in finding your strength. Pain cannot be escaped, just overcome.
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 23
I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/26/2008 9:57:24 AM
Wow - thats some profile- and you "ride like a gorilla
and got some kink"
Hey I think your posts are full of shit and your an attention whore
at its finest- Im one myself.
I think you like to tap into peoples insecurities and then sit back and watch
them squirm.
I hate to go back and read profiles- my attention span sucks.
I like to come to the forums believing that the posts for the most part
are sincere- I dont think yours is.
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 24
view profile
I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:29:00 AM
meet someone else.

People react more strongly to fear of loss then possible gain.

So you have limited choices or only 1 choice, if you have many choices then you will not fear or care about liking just one person.
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 29
I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/27/2008 12:37:16 PM
Oh god creep. You must think I'm
Such a bxitch. Well I kinda am.
Anyway, I hate reading profiles so when it was mentioned you might be full of shit I read it. Get that testimony off - its not funny its
Degrading and your more than that.
I also care enough to be typing this to you from this tiny keyboard on
My blackberry. I stand by my first post to you- we all get hurt. Give him a shot or he is going to keep creeping in your brain.
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 32
I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/27/2008 3:32:32 PM
When it comes to relationships, there are usually just two possible eventual outcomes - you'll break his heart - or he'll break yours. But if you go through life trying to avoid that - you end up old and alone.

So what will it be?

Joined: 3/14/2008
Msg: 35
I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/27/2008 4:24:27 PM
Ok, I think everyone here probably believes you need therapy! You are afraid of getting hurt. Life does not come with guarantees. Remember the old saying dance like no one is watching, love like you are never going to get hurt...........

Take one big step forward (toward the cell phone), jump in .......... if you get hurt you willl heal (ok maybe slowly heal) and there are people to talk to when it does happen. But you will be richer for the experience if you allow yourself the freedom to live.
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 37
I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/28/2008 2:12:32 AM
multiple personality disorder, there is help for that out there..
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 45
view profile
I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/29/2008 10:27:28 PM
I wasn't even going to say anything, but then I thought, "you need some advice hun". So I am assumning you two have exchanged a few messages right? I would think that you would have to have had atleast 3 or 4 emails to and from each other just to get to the 'like' part. But then again, the way describe it, it sounds like maybe he contacted you first, told you, you were welcome to email him back and NOW YOUR CONFUSED? SOMEBODY GET A MAPfor chatting with a man, for this girl; WITH A DOT TO DOT DIRECTION MEASURE RATHER THAN ROAD AND CITY ROUTE - you are lost hun in your own sense of insecurity - I dont mean to be harse, just some real and tough critical advice -

If you have never sent him an email, then go ahead and write something - anything, after all, he did say you were welcome to - but the scary part about this is, so, you have not had the nerve to email him - yet you are head over heals about him? from what - his profile writing skills, his likes and dislikes on his profile, maybe your getting messages from some fish god lol lol lol - he may not even be who or what he says he is - maybe he's a drag queen and just wants to drag you down lower than you already feel about yourself - GET SOME KEHONEES , GROW SOME CHEST HAIR, whatever, just lift that self esteem if you are to do to anything at all

Now, what I really think is going on hear and makes the most sense is this - you have exchanged a few emails with him and you are not reading what you want to know when someone is interested in you, even by two or three words in one email....and apparently he's not telling you to pack your bags, and get ready for the, you dont want to subject yourself to the pain or hurt you feel for lack of interest ( in the way you want him to be interested), so, you are compelled to let him know just how much you like him, proclaim this doesnt happen ever, therefore making HIM THE SPECIAL ONE - and all this is done by SIMPLY POSTING WHAT YOU POSTED - "he'll read it, I know he will and then...." Well you shoudnt have even posted hun - you not only have received several responses telling you what you dont want to hear, but have told him and everyone else alot more about yourself than you realize - for one, you think he'll feel sorry for you, as "you dont want to get hurt anymore" - lol thats a joke - sitting on a pity pot is not a virtue! You definitely cannot commuicate your real feelings with, so what makes you so attracted to someone you CANT TALK TO? Thats thwat I want, a guy that I can only send anonymous notes to here and there and hope he'll see how wonderful I am and fall in love with me - GIVE ME A BREAK - If you really thought and knew in your heart that he would respond positively then you would have emailed him long ago - IF I were you, I would email him and just be yourself, - if he emails you back, thats good, even if its a month from now, still good - but if he doesnt respond with emails of substance then he is probably just being nice, and you should just accept it - some people are not meant for others - and thats ok, like I said, if you are afraid to be real and talk to him as yourself then - go get that map on chatting with men and follow the dots 1 leads to 2 and 2 leads to 3 and if 3 goes back to 2 - throw away your map and buy a new one!

I myself have been hurt alot of times, but you learn and grow from these experiences. Ive been at PoF for a while and have met only two guys that interested/interest me. The first one was way too young for a real life long relationship so, hes my friend now. The other is definitely someone I want to talk and talk and talk to, getting to know him even more with each passing email or talk on the phone. I, like you, could say 'Im sprung' but then again, I have not met him in person yet and sometimes, well, rarely in my book - meeting in person can change things - I think that in this case though, with the man Im VERY VERY INTERESTED IN - he could be as ugly as heck, fat as can be, have pimples on his ears, or have some severe disability or deformity and I would still feel the same because we have taken the time to get to know one another - and I also do not doubt myself and wonder, I jump in there if I feel it inside me - and Im feelin it and it FEELS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL - SO SEE, YOU HELPED ME TONITE - AS I wrote this in hopes of his reading my post and there fore he'll know for sure, how I feel about him - lol lol lol - now im going to go and write him an email and tell him to go read my posting as there is a message hidden inside! ROFL ROFL ROFL

good luck in the future and hang in there xo
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 48
I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:55:03 AM
She sounds inteligent? Huh? How is it smart to avoid dating for 24 years because your so freaked out about getting hurt? Thats' childish. I read your profile and you seem to want a lot of attention without much substance. You are EXTREMELY immature and insecure. So all you want to do in life is be a part of things that you know for sure will work out? Ridiculous and very dysfunctional.

What you are saying is:

1. I dont trust my own decisions to choose a good guy so I just wont try
2. I want to go through life and just not get hurt
3. Why are you on a dating site if you dont want to date people?
4. I love the attention guys give me and then when they like me I run and reject them and then tell people I'm being stalked.

You talk like you are 15 years old. You talk about this and that about yourself, does he like me, policeman are so sexy, and all this stuff with alcohol, I want to do illegal things, lol; oh brother. Do you just want sex? Do you just want a friend and then when you or they like you you just run like a child? Do you just want attention? I mean whats up.

You shouldn't worry about liking someone because if you tell them your philosophy on relationships and tell him about yourself, he will run. I'm not worried about you; you just have a lot of growing up to do; I'm worried about the train wrecks you might leave in life by getting guys to like you and then dumping them. Life is about good and bad times; its the adult world; taxes, death, and dumb posts on POF are the only things for sure in life.

A life without pain is only in Heaven and in fairy tales. Grow up and live. Good luck.
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 61
I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 9/22/2008 6:07:21 PM
Are you a TEASE masquerading as a "ball of confusion"?
STOP wasting our time with your "...I think that maybe, just maybe I like him..." crap.
I pity da fool who is the object of your desire, cuz chances are that when he expresses a genuine interest in having a REAL relationship with you, you will run for the hills. Hopefully, you won't dial 911, scream "RAPE", and alert a SWAT team when all the guy did was ask to meet you in a public place.

Either sh*t and get off the pot, or leave the poor guy alone.

And you have the gall to call yourself "KEEP N IT REEL"???
You are the epitome of hypocrisy and self-righteousness.
Check yourself before you wreck yourself!!!
You belong on an Alternative Lifestyles website such as "Sports Illustrated Magazine's Cross Dressers And The Hemaphrodites Who Love Them".
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 62
view profile
I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 9/22/2008 7:13:26 PM
LOL Elaine
I thinks its called one-upman-ship (or would that be woman tops man-ship) when she castigated the guy. And you are correct it goes by both names. And now for the next drama installment. Popcorn anyone? mine with butter n salt, please, while we are keeping it reel....
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