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 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 132
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The Ripple EffectPage 7 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
What's so cool about this thread is that it is about real people and real feelings, and the struggles we all face..the forums run hot and cold for me...I struggle to stop responding to my triggers...I lament the sometimes lack of real discussions ( of which this one does not not qualify)...I often long to talk about the real things in our lives, and to not have to defend myself or others from unnecessary meanness..and most of all, I wish more posts were less about what is wrong with the OP, or other posters and more about how we all struggle to be the best we can be, with what we have. Or to exchange differences in opinions without hate or rancor...to learn, instead of feed the anguish?

I know I am probably the worst kind of idealist, but, I truly believe there is good in almost everyone, and I hope that I make a difference of some kind in other lives, even those who seem less good..because they need it the most.

Red: I, too, struggle with the issue of "how could I not see that coming?". It has been often said on here, that if you are smart and well adjusted, bad things should never happen to you...ironically, I find that to be way too idealistic...even the smartest, brightest, savviest of us will not be infallible...and I truly wish to not give up trusting because of fear that I may be wrong...as hurts pile up...large and small...I want to believe that they were still worth the risk..and the ripples have meaning...and one should not be punished or looked down upon for believing?

I think, generally , that women are far harder on themselves than men...which I could envy their ability to more easily accept themselves, flaws and all.

The ripples of this thread are far reaching and supplied by many..and have brought me hope about people in general, and the forums as a rule...maybe all is not as lost as it seems...for both...

My latest mantra ( which is on my profile ) is: Being happy does not mean that everything is perfect, just that you learned to look beyond the perfections...author unknown...I am truly trying to practice this..and hope it inspires others as well...
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 133
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The Ripple Effect
Posted: 11/24/2008 7:42:53 PM
LOL! They only "Ripple Effect" I know about is the pounding headache you used to get after drinking that cheap crap!!! LOL! Didn't anyone else immediately think about that cheap wine we drank in the 60s??? It was right up there in a class with Boone's Farm and Mogan David!!! LOL!
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 135
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The Ripple Effect
Posted: 11/24/2008 10:48:36 PM

Red: I, too, struggle with the issue of "how could I not see that coming?".

Yep, sign me up for some of that. (hi zangie... I think I owe you a note).

The times where the ol' freight train came down the tracks and ran *PHOOM* straight through me and I just didn't see it coming. I'm a bit of a first class personal beater-upper. (anyone else here in that particular club? ~ thought so)

And I know we all know it's just nuts - but it IS hard to learn how to stop. I think of it as developing some compassion for myself... and learning to expect no more of myself than being human. I cultivate compassion for other people... I try to be fair with others, sometimes even a li'l excessively fair. But to myself? Nah, that's different. I kind of expect myself to be better/smarter/wiser/ somehow MORE than that... a superhuman.

Some things from two wise men who cast some pretty huge ripples in my life ...

One said "It's ego y'know... why are you being so dam egotistical that you think you can be more than human?"

And the other said something along the lines of ... "Forget what you know now, cuz you're looking at it with hindsight. Accept that in the moment you did the best you could, with the information and insight you had... in that moment. And know that you did do you best... your best might have been better if you had been less tired/more aware/whatever... regardless, it was what you had to work with, and you did what you could... so knock it off already."
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 136
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The Ripple Effect
Posted: 11/25/2008 5:48:07 AM
Gathering all my poetic writings in one place, just found this one in the poetry forum of six lines or less.....

By the way, just wish to say, I love seeing this thread doing its magic again....
Upon reading margo's last offerings, I remember I saw a skit once and the main punchline through it all was....'Give your Self a break."

Have a thankful Thanksgiving, everyone.

written 10/14/2008.....

angels busy sending love
to all who are open to receive
and willing to give it unconditionally
for those with the greatest need and believe
the ripple effect travels far and wide
touching all from deep earth through the vast sky
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 145
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The Ripple Effect
Posted: 11/30/2008 12:31:07 PM

Ripples spread in circles.... in all different directions.
I was kinda hoping that they would eventuallly take on a horizontal or verticle movement at some point after the "splash" hits and creates the ripples. Because being in the middle of one of these "circles" I can have trouble locating the exit when I need to.


Ok, it's time to see what goes on in my fireplace...
You just say this to piss me off, don'tcha? What did I say? ~tilts head~ You do not have proper, adult supervision. *mutters to herself.....she is stubborn and sometimes does not put on her listening ears* *snorts*


If I am not back soon, someone please inform the authorities
Jax FD is on speed dial.
 10of6
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 146
The Ripple Effect
Posted: 11/30/2008 4:23:51 PM
Okay, now I feel like a stooge. Here I thought it was an open discussion on energy rippling throughout the universe; what it ends up being is a karma-fest. My bad.
 Major_canadian
Joined: 2/22/2005
Msg: 147
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The Ripple Effect
Posted: 11/30/2008 4:40:56 PM
anyone hear of Tony Robbins? he's an infomercial dude from the 80's, aside from the imfomercials, i think he is a really brilliant guy, he says "know that it is your decisions, not your conditions, that control your life", enough said?
 10of6
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 148
The Ripple Effect
Posted: 12/1/2008 2:42:41 PM
^^^^^ I can only agree with Mr. Robbins' comment up to a point. There are indeed physical conditions that can dictate huge parts of your life. Having listened to an infomercial of his a few years back, there was a portion when his confederate-host asked him how he got into his line of work: with manufactured gravitas, Mr. Robbins said, in effect, "I gained 30 pounds." Tragedy of tragedies!

Immediately turned me off. Still, I gave him his 30 minutes. About the only thing he said that seems to approach a universal truth was his axiom, "People are motivated by inspiration or desperation." Once an adult gets a handle around this absolute truth, the "ah hah" moments line up, one after another. Props for that one to Mr. Robbins.

Then there are guys like Steve Covey and Wayne Dyer, who I cannot to this day understand, even after watching videos over and over...or I'm missing something so simple everyone already knows it?
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 149
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The Ripple Effect
Posted: 12/1/2008 8:42:21 PM
I read the post two up and understand his point, and yet to me, the ripple effect is almost like you are conscious of your actions, thoughts, behavior, intentions, consequences of your actions, etc.......
And then there's the unknown - the consequences that are not directly experienced by you......the ones you don't see, or know that have come out of something you did....
like the person or child who watched you find the $20 bill on the ground at the grocery store checkout and put it in your pocket......
or the person who got the job because the day of the interview, your child needed to be rushed to the hospital......
or the begger in the street that you gave money to who then went onto his dealer and bought some heroin, perhaps.....
or because you didn't give the money, they were still on the street when the street rescue volunteers arrived and in that moment the begger decides it's time to change their life......
The ripple effect to me is all those things that happen, past, present, future....like domino's.....or on the web of life how there are so many reverberations even way over there as you bounce over here.....
We can't possibly see all the circuitry and just how amazingly everything effects everything else....rippling through space and time......
Energy travels, often invisibly and silently and faster than light.......rippling as it goes
(or so I believe).....
 10of6
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 150
The Ripple Effect
Posted: 12/2/2008 5:50:19 PM
^^^^^ What would your response be, then, regarding this so-called "ripple effect" if it was not you, but another soul who played--or who didn't--play the roles you described? Would these chains of "doing things while alive" continue if you didn't exist? If you could manage to stand as still as a statue, and contribute nothing other than perhaps an aura of beauty, wouldn't you also cause yourself to be an obstacle others must go around?

The only point I'm trying to highlight is that a person shouldn't take everything they do so damned seriously. I find myself amazed at how much I'm inclined to write some things in life off to "fate." Being in a scientific profession, I can't easily chalk life off to fate, but sometimes it does seem that the effect remains the same despite the players who are causing the chains of events, the "ripples," as it were. Events linked by cause was termed "synchronicity" by psychoanalyst Carl Jung, a kind of existentialistic outlook to occurrences in what Jung called the collective conscience.

Interesting, too, is that you mentioned "energy travels faster than light," since I've been reading up on the Big Bang. A Portuguese physicist has done the math behind his theory that for the initial bang and somewhat after that, energy (aka light) traveled faster than it currently has been clocked at. Interesting that the "constant" in the E=mC2 equation at one time was NOT a constant.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 154
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The Ripple Effect
Posted: 9/5/2009 10:28:22 AM

Welcome back OP! Many of us missed you...

She's back? woo-hoo, how I have missed you Red! (I know, I know, it's my own dayum fault - I am horrendously bad at emailing on a regular basis).

Thanks for bumping this thread Silken, like the OP, it is one of my favourites.

People come and go from the forums. Sometimes it is only when they leave you realize, with a wrench, how much their words had an effect on you. Or, as a 'newcomer' continues to post, the stranger gradually develops into a familiar and eventually may become friend. It's possibly a bit odd how much I come to rely on their presence with that first cup of coffee in the morning routine - or the pause at the end of the day. ... thankfully, none of you can see what I'm wearing at the time! lol

Now if that Funny Girl would come back, I'll have one of those moments where my life is complete!
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 158
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The Ripple Effect
Posted: 9/6/2009 7:43:32 AM
Trying to be more loving, without expecting sex, money or anything in return. Hopefully that'll create similar ripples in my direction.

When one truly loves, not in a smothering, hoarding or insecure way (out of selfish motives), but gives love freely in a way that helps another, without any thought of any kind of gain for one's self, it creates a "common good" and gives similar vibes of freedom and yet warmth to one's self. As long as they don't take more than you can give, you'll be golden and will avoid the exhaustion of burnout.
 DeepLuv09
Joined: 7/24/2009
Msg: 159
The Ripple Effect
Posted: 9/8/2009 11:01:49 PM
I sometimes look at the number of angry people in the world and wonder where that anger originated from. Just a week ago I was a witness to something "less than noble". One of the cashiers at my favorite coffee joint is extremely rude to customers and at first I thought it was me but after a while I realize she snaps at everybody. So last week a girl stopped me in the street just as I was about to enter the cafe, she is from New Zealand visiting the city, she was asking me about directions to various points of interest. Very energetic lovely young lady with lots of zeal for life and obviously excited about an opportunity to see the world. I helped her as much as I could before going to get my coffee fix. A few minutes later she walked into the cafe and she made the mistake of asking further queries to the cashier who was EXTREMELY RUDE to her. I could see on her face that the experience had dampened her day, but I had to rush I was in no mood to play "angel of mine". Anyways it just made me realize how much power we each have to either spread love or hate. I can imagine the way the girl's face was flushing I could see that she was so hurt and I was just thinking to myself how she would process that experience, would she get over it, would she get angry at the world and lash out at the next person?
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 160
The Ripple Effect
Posted: 12/9/2009 6:34:42 PM
Of the time that I've been a member here, all the forum posts I've read and written this thread is one that stands out more than any other.
I can't think about this and not be thankful to my dear friend Cassandra who started it and thankful she sent me the link. I've met new friends because of and through it, totally prophetic as this thread has had it's own ripple effect.
For me, it's the reminder of that awareness of the impact of our lives on other people's in a place at times where it's easy to feel overlooked, nearly invisible. So many people, whose actions in how they deal with other people either unaware or uncaring, with singlemindness, going full bore towards their desires, their own agenda. It could make one wonder, is there another code of behavior, etiquette because it's the internet that wouldn't be ignored or excused in a real life scenario.
Personally I don't and haven't, doesn't mean I can't understand. I just don't give the internet the power to excuse or explain behavior that some who participate choose to use.
The internet is not responsible for making anyone a liar, a cheater...blah blah ad nauseum. It's just a more convenient venue for those who possess those characteristics to exploit.
I can't say reading the many threads that it doesn't strike an empathetic chord with me.
I'm not invulnerable, noone is, I've just been on other forums than these. I do take time away, step back and being here hasn't changed who I am. I have a finely tuned self awareness, so if it IS starting to affect me, I step away and do something else. I trust my own internal radar.
This thread has affected me, I'm glad to say it has. In many ways, I've had my own personal reactions to the posts, the stories. It's all good, because it's another affirmation of my connectedness with humanity. All of it, and for me that's always a positive effect.
I think we're all at our best when we're most human, fragile, vulnerable, strong, funny, intelligent...all of it. Any human being is their best being human, IMO. Because when we are, then we are leaping over the obstacles that put distance between us. Not the bravado of touting how great we are, or what an amazing catch or baffled at why noone gets it and doesn't reply...the most amazing ripple effect IMO is experiencing another person being human. For me, that's foundational to the friends I've made and known, we've been so human with each other. They're all amazing individuals, so accomplished, so strong, intelligent, witty, sexy...gorgeous...what is special about what we share is that both share those times when we don't feel smart, sexy or strong. What we share is that precious trust, and it's something I treasure and respect.
I get it, I've been on profile reviews, posted thousands. Don't have any sage wisdom or magic formula.
What I DO know is...and I acknowledge that I've been so fortunate and blessed. Yes, I've had the ur hot...or the hi...emails. They're few...I do get emails about my forum posts, some particularly about a certain thread. I've been here awhile...haha, but wasn't here long until I unchecked all my restrictions. And no regrets, the ripple effect through this website has been global. It's been so enriching..friends in Australia...LOVE to visit there, the UK...and lots of Canadian friends...eh?
The ripple effect is opening up and being receptive. It's been one of the most rewarding and enriching experiences in my life. I hope and wish for everyone that you experiece the same.
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 161
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The Ripple Effect
Posted: 12/10/2009 3:52:54 PM
quiet pond
toss a stone
ripples begin
rings expanding
slowly dissolving
slowing...slowing
smooth as glass
a quiet pond
toss a stone


written this morning in the poetry forum....
didn't realize then bucsgirl had resurrected this thread
so, am leaving the poem here as it seems to fit in a literal sense....
and then there are the other senses and perspectives, such as
we could be the water, the stone, the ripple, the air, the one tossing the stone, the one observing...
and/or we could be on the other side of the world feeling a shift in energy as the ripple reaches us...
 grengoeth
Joined: 12/7/2009
Msg: 162
The Ripple Effect
Posted: 12/10/2009 4:03:10 PM
Funny that you mention such a thing, Red.

Here recently a friend of mine from High School said I gave her an amazing boost in self-confidence waaaaaaaaay back. I really didn't know how to respond except to thank her in return for letting me know. It was rather odd, as I haven't spoken to her in forever and never imagined I'd left such an impact.

Guess you never can tell how those around you react to what you do.......
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 166
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Posted: 1/8/2010 4:57:41 AM
another to share from the poetry forum sphere...
written 1/6/2010 408 PM in the last line, first line thread here
(so the first line isn't mine)...



'we are all starting out straight then ending up bent'
thinking our selfishness makes not a dent
in the bigger picture we're drawing each day
but every action, deed and thought goes such a long way.....

not a feeling is felt without making a ripple
not a thought can melt, but always will trickle
effecting the whole chain of energy we can't really see...

for in every drop of rain flows a river of beauty
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 170
The Ripple Effect
Posted: 7/2/2011 10:08:46 PM

This would seem to be a patently obvious thought to anyone who gives much thought at all to life and who is at all introspective.


My intention is not to disagree with the quote, just to comment. Patently obvious and introspective, in my opinion, do not belong in the same sentence, stated as though they were synonymous. Patently obvious are the givens, so often stated in profiles, "looking for/seeking honesty, someone who's loyal....the "duhs". That, to me IS the definition of patently obvious.

Introspection, by stark contrast, is not. For my personal experience, of all the people I've interacted with, over a period of years, or a few minutes, the instrospective people I've come across are damn few. For anyone who's participated to any extent in the forums, other than to gripe...what is the common experience is those who are self-focused, self-centered and self-absorbed. The ME, ME, ME, I, I......those are not people of introspection. Their version of giving thought to life, is how the HECK can I just get what I want and be happy, as if that were an equal formula. If I get what I want, then I'll be happy. May as well fold that into all the other fairy tales, and other various delusions. Some of the most miserable people I've known are those who've gotten what they wanted.

Introspection and the ripple effect tie in together, without fail, every instrospective person I've known has the awareness not just of their life, but how their life is a part of something bigger. It's an awareness of the connectedness of all lives, now and always. When you seek and touch on that connectedness, then you realize not just how important you are but how important everyone else is. It's an equalizer, that noone's existence or importance is greater than anyone else's. Introspection is the gift of awarness of that bigger picture, that noone is better than anyone else because they're more beautiful, taller, thinner, make more money, have a higher education, are more talented, smarter. It's the revelation of an educated, wealthy person who can share some time, a meal with someone of what some would say of lesser social stature, yet to see them talk, laugh and be engrossed in conversation. That's a precious thing, the equality of recognition of them being just two human beings, none better, none lesser.

That, to me IS the substance of the ripple effect, and noone can understand that hasn't experienced it.
 errant71
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 171
The Ripple Effect
Posted: 7/3/2011 8:44:43 PM
My intention is not to disagree with message #192 because I do agree … in it’s essence.

But I have trouble with the broad words used in this thread. Although the ripple effect was first described by a teacher regarding the effects teachers could have on students, as noted it spread outside that realm. For example, global economics talks about the effects of the economics of one country affecting the economics of all countries. Politicians talk about the ripple effect of laws, of grass roots movements, of the ‘other’ party, of Supreme Court decisions, etc. Doctors talk about the effects of drug advertising and it’s impact on prescribing habits and ultimately on the cost of health care. You get my drift.

At this point, the ripple effect is essentially a mainstream concept with many applications.

Introspection is defined as “observation or examination of one’s own mental and emotional state, mental processes”. Or simply put “the act of looking within oneself”. By nature it is a self-centered process. I think many people are introspective.

What you’re addressing here has more to do with introspection along a specific path with a specific end point or conclusion … looking within oneself and arriving at the knowledge that what we do negatively or positively affects others. Further, that effect forms a connection to a larger human “family” … to those others, to that something bigger. Still further, the leap from that human connectedness to “no one’s existence or importance is greater than anyone else’s”.

But introspection could lead to a different conclusion when starting from the same point. That’s why we have different philosophies, different tenets, different beliefs, different ‘truths’.

So … although I share your belief, I do recognize that introspective people are not particularly rare. Those that share this application of the ripple effect and this conclusion may very well be rare. On POF, I personally find them as rare as hen’s teeth!
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 172
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The Ripple Effect
Posted: 7/4/2011 4:31:17 AM
^yes....but this thread was not so much about analyzing what the ripple effect is or how we can or cannot control reality outside of ourselves...

it was a sharing of life stories and how these stories touched our hearts and quite often the hearts of others....that was its beauty and why it felt so moving for so many...

basically, it's not a thread of the mind, but of the heart (imo)
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 173
The Ripple Effect
Posted: 7/4/2011 8:12:41 PM
What I posted was my perspective on responses posted on the thread. That's all...

You could put 10 people in a room, show them a picture and ask them to write a sentence, they could look at the same picture but would be different because they're all individuals. If everyone had the same perspective, then whoa, I wouldn't be happy because I enjoy the art of conversation and learning about different people's perspective. If two people thought totally alike and saw everything the same...damn...what would they talk about?

It's my perspective, based in part on my background, my personal life experiences and my thoughts, my personal life reflections. I strongly believe that's one of the great positives about having so many people in the world to encounter, and interact with and learn from. I don't learn anything from someone else who thinks the same way I do, about myself or them, it's great to find someone that you can have a high degree of compatability with, there is still the opportunity to learn from their perspective. Conversation tends to dry up when someone just says yes, that's exactly what I thought....ugh...
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 174
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The Ripple Effect
Posted: 8/19/2012 3:25:13 AM
I don't start my day with the forums anymore; I guess my lil routine didn't survive the "Forum Button Debacle" when conversations dried up and so many regulars wandered away. I do pop in from time to time to see what's being discussed and when I come back I almost inevitably come back to read this thread. All of it - and it still affects me each and every time. It's funny how so many of the people and their thoughts still ripple through my life.
 pfif
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 176
The Ripple Effect
Posted: 8/20/2012 9:19:15 AM
A local pilot would occasionally drop cinderblocks onto a lake from a Cessna 172,
to watch them skip on the water.

Who would even think that one up? He did. And then he did it.
 pfif
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 177
The Ripple Effect
Posted: 8/8/2013 9:16:33 AM
There's a new business that started up nearby. They sell things to
the public that I use, and do it differently than the others do. I like
them and know them from other places, but it is out of my usual
habit, to go there.

I've been going there anyway, to make sure something I'm doing
helps them achieve orbit.

As it turns out, it's a lovely walk, there and back, and a needed
destination. I won't walk without purpose; I'm a destination-
based walker. I do manage to meander, especially on the return
trip home.

One unplanned side-effect of my walks to their storefront has
been exposure to artwork displayed in another storefront, in
the downtown area. Then, just yesterday, I showed that same
artwork to my friend, who dropped by for a visit—I said let's
walk to a nearby restaurant, which we did (and ate a nice meal
together; something we don't do very often). On the walk home
I showed my friend some of the sights I've become more familiar
with, from my new walking paths.
 marilynh47
Joined: 7/18/2013
Msg: 178
The Ripple Effect
Posted: 8/8/2013 9:31:09 PM
WOW Miss Red, Thank you! I love the forums section of pof but have took a break from reading the section for a while there, coming back and reading your "Ripple Effect" is nice!
There is a definite positive ripple effect from the forums section.
I was very skeptical about online dating and so clueless till a while back. I actually met a real nice man from the forum section who have a girlfriend but met me just to chat and help me out with my profile section. He stated, "You don't really need lots of men but to catch that one that truly is meant for you." He gave great advice on how to make my profile in a way to get the right attention. Since then I have met a few decent men on this site. And those that I haven't met, some have amazing qualities just by their writing. We can lie and bs but writing will come out as real or not.
Also if I didn't do online dating, I wouldn't have had a chance to meet men who are far away or in businesses that wouldn't give us an opportunity to meet up.
The ripple effect from me is that this pof site is a positive site for online meeting and it's a journey of healing. When I first got on, I was scared, been in a relationship in which someone have taken advantage of my kindness and after I pulled away tried unsuccessfully to damage and hurt me. I was fearful and really distrust in men. Through time, I have learned the healing stage that even the worst man I met on this site is no comparison to the guy that tried to control me and hurt me. I have survived and have healed and know that not all men are the same and that there are soooo many great, amazing men out there.
As I have faith in that one true man will eventually be right for me, it's amazing to meet so many great amazing guys on this site who have so much to offer. And so the ripple effect is that we all need to be each other cheerleaders and coach and celebrate each one true happiness. The guy who helped me is no longer on this site thus meant that he and his girlfriend are an item and doing great and I do celebrate that! I do hope that they are doing great and praying that they will be the best for each other. There is happiness from this site. That's my ripple effect, that we each will find our true love from the help of pof. Many blessings to everyone!
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