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 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 2
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Tweens & TamponsPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Do you have a mom, or sister, or other female relative that can help her????

They do make (ok haven't had to use that isle in a pretty long while) small for younger girls her age... Believe me, if all else fails she has gf that can help her out...

If all else, let her and her GF's mom, go to the store and give her the money...

It's tough enough being a female that age having periods, let alone not being able to go swimming because dad nixed the tampons...
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 3
Tweens & Tampons
Posted: 5/30/2008 2:30:10 AM
It really isn't a big deal. I started using them at the age of 12, and so did my 3 daughters(Without any help. It was very clear where they went.). On might not be the exact word, but I am sure she will figure it out. Maybe she just didn't want to get into the details of where they go with her dad.

Just go buy her a box of the smaller size, and leave them where she can find them.
Tweens & Tampons
Posted: 5/30/2008 5:52:41 AM
There aren't too many ways to improperly insert the thing ...but safety can be a concern. It might not be a comfortable conversation, but in every box there is info about Toxic Shock Syndrome. You 2 should probably go over that together to make sure she knows although rare, it can happen. Also, remind her that she needs to remove the last one at the end of her period (When I worked in the ER, we would get someone every now and then that had forgotten...this is usually when we saw TSS symptoms to be honest).
Good luck today!
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 6
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Tweens & Tampons
Posted: 5/30/2008 7:44:35 AM

I'm just frustrated she brought this up the night before the event rather than 3 days ago when it started. Or even better, last summer.


Patience dad, try and remember she still is young, and thinking that far ahead as to how to take care of this annoying thing called a period, and what horrific purpose it has is not forefront to her sweet mind. Be glad she didn't ask hours before.

With that said, the one poster said OB, those work well for some, then there are tampax..

I wouldn't suggest the playtex one, simply because they have this "blooming action" which I can promise you that is a very good way to break the hymen trying to pull the freaking thing out once full saturated.

Since today is the pool party all things are well, and she has a good time...

Hopefully at three days into a period she will be almost done, unless she has the misfortune of being a heavy bleeder. What would be good is to remind her once the party is over to make sure to change, soaking up a bit of pool water can cause bacterial issues if the pool isn't properly treated, and is just good female hygiene.

Good luck

 SusieSunshine79
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 9
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Tweens & Tampons
Posted: 5/31/2008 2:14:48 AM
There are instructions in every box. Get the small sized ones...regular, I think. She will not get it right the first time, probably, but she will figure it out on her own or with help eventually. Do mention the risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome, but expect rolling eyes :)
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 12
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Tweens & Tampons
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:55:05 PM
the major problem with "tweens" is that they forget to take them out, further risking toxic shock. make a point of her not flushing them down the toilet (because they can clog), but also to get her little baggies and make sure she puts them in her garbage can daily. advise her about toxic shock and how she must change regularly. beginner tampons are quite small and she can use some lube if needed. normally it is not needed during this time of the month. many come pre-lubed. i do not recommend scented just in case of an allergic reaction. check all this with her in the beginning and have a female family doctor talk to her, in detail.

not only will you have to deal with this, but also make the decision about the recent push on papillovirus shots that they want the young ones to take before they are sexually active. i myself have problems with no long term research on this issue, especially if the child is not promiscuous. but, you have to be realistic in your decisions and sure that your child is honest with you. also have the discussion very early on about venereal diseases.

check with your school and find out the level of detail they provide in "health education" and at what age/grade. my son brought back a very sordid porn movie from a nice middle school student, age 13, and they do get exposed to a lot of smut--around here, even moreso in the religious private schools! be there beforehand to give them the proper education on it all. that way they can always come to you, be they male or female children or be you the male or female parent.

on a sillier note, after the tampon discussions, mine came home from 9th grade with condoms they gave her at the high school. she was a bit perplexed, but feeling very grown up. so, i showed her what i did with them in college--filled them up with water and we went BOING a la water balloon! be twixt and be tween. adult and child rolled into one. she giggled and all was well with the world. i then put the packet with the rest in a drawer and told her "when" she was ready, to remind me and we'd see what the best things would be to meet her needs. slowly we had "the talk" over many months, in a way that she could absorb. i got my kids at the tween age, so i had no preparation in the earlier years like birth parents.

namaste!

ps as to the ease of putting them in, w/o education some pretty horrific things can be done, although hopefully not very often. i had a high school friend who put one up her butt. when i was on the board of planned parenthood, we had a woman who had sexual activity via her urinary canal. she was uneducated, from a foreign country where this was not discussed openly. she heard it would "hurt", so she accepted the pain. one of my client hospitals, had a child give birth at age 13 in the ER. she thought she was "just fat" and carried high. the old book , our body /ourselves (i think that is the name of it) is still a pretty good education for a young woman learning more about her body.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 13
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Tweens & Tampons
Posted: 6/2/2008 9:50:11 PM

It was nice to have a thread on here that doesn't focus on "bad parents", "why don't guys/girls want to date a girl/guy that is a single parent", or "who has it worse single parents or 'part time' parents"


Good deal for her... Yeah Dad, you got past one of the tougher things in teen age girls... Now all you need to do is get past dating, birth control, he broke up with me and was the love of my life (even though they dated for all of 10 minutes after gym) We got back together, but my best friend is telling him lies about me...

Ahhhh yes the drama of teenagehood...

As for dating parents... Yeah, wellllllll that can be a mixed bag... My ex and I had kids when we both married... We hadn't married before...

Oh my gosh....

My ex didn't have any "fathers" to deal with, but I had to deal with my former stepson's mother... That was because my ex didn't want to deal with it...
It was tough...

You may be surprised how many not so good single parents are out there...

Then of course there are differences in parenting, and that too can be a killer in the dating field...

To be honest it was tough being a full time parent when my two daughters were young... I worked two jobs, and had very little free time...

It isn't so bad now, but I haven't met anyone that has kids, and can actually see themself out dating... Tried the dating people that have never had kids, and that can REALLY be a nitemare...

Good luck....
 wonwascallywabbit
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 14
Tweens & Tampons
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:46:07 AM
Make sure she knows everything she needs to including the dangers. A simple visit to the doctors office should give her all the correct information she needs if you're not up to explaining it all. The dangers and how often they need changed are nothing to take lightly.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 15
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Tweens & Tampons
Posted: 6/3/2008 6:08:09 PM
OP, glad things went well. Having recently dealt with some of these issues with my daughter a couple of additional suggestions. You never know what the cycle is going to do and some days are heavier than others, suggest buying at least one box of tampons that has three different sizes in them so that she can either see what works best for her as well as having the option of using different tampons on different days.

Would also suggest trying a couple of brands, most women find that one either because of applicators or shape, are more comfortable for them to use.

Toxic shock is normally not a problem unless someone is leaving the tampons in too long. So, even if she doesn't "need" to to prevent leaking, she should change them fairly frequently and some people try to avoid them at night for that reason as well.

I did have an incident early in my use. Went to remove and don't know if I tensed up or what. A nightmare of talking to my mother through the door. You might want to mention that should something similar ever occur, she has some really strong muscles and if she forces herself to relax, shouldn't be a problem. Also occasionally, a string will come out and if it does, she needs to visit the doctor immediately to have it removed and shouldn't be embarassed, OB/GYNs see women regularly for this problem.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 16
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Tweens & Tampons
Posted: 6/3/2008 6:57:05 PM

I did have an incident early in my use. Went to remove and don't know if I tensed up or what.


Didn't happen to be one of the types with the "blooming action?"

I didn't have any help at the time, and the pain was so bad I thought I would NEVER use them again... But you know women, we forget miserable pain like that so fast...

Men would have kids once and NOT go through THAT again...
 wanderbaby
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 17
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Tweens & Tampons
Posted: 6/3/2008 7:31:14 PM

There aren't too many ways to improperly insert the thing ...but safety can be a concern. It might not be a comfortable conversation, but in every box there is info about Toxic Shock Syndrome. You 2 should probably go over that together to make sure she knows although rare, it can happen. Also, remind her that she needs to remove the last one at the end of her period (When I worked in the ER, we would get someone every now and then that had forgotten...this is usually when we saw TSS symptoms to be honest).
Good luck today!


I would think it would be better if she'd remove a tampon every 2 hours or so, since the tampon only has a period of time before it needs to be taken out. I'm not sure why one would leave it in there for a long period of time even at the end of the period.

Here's my input, get thin pads as well, that way it's used as a backup if accidents happen.
As well as using it midmonth since women ovulate and flluids come out, guys have it so lucky in some ways lol. you might want to look up info on ovulaton and periods, that way in case this happens to her, she won't freak out. It may help both of you to understand pms, such as what to do when she has menstrual cramps or if headache occurs.

There are cons/pros for using either tampon/pads, let her have both and she can decide what is best for her. Just make sure you remind her that tampons need to be removed every 2 hours or so since there's no indication that it needs to be replaced. ncourage her to carry some in her backpack since sometimes periods are not regular. You might want to tell her to start keeping track of when she gets them, that way she gets to prepare ahead of time when she has it so that way she has some pads/tampons available. This could be just as embarrasing to her to talk toyou about it, but as long as you're open and you don't look that embarrased, then she shouldn't have a problem coming to you about it.
 dadof5
Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 18
Tweens & Tampons
Posted: 6/7/2008 4:53:23 PM
God job dad. As a father of 5 kids (three of them girls 18,17,10) I know that there are many, many of those "ify" conversations between a single father and their daughters. My best advice to you (through my own experiences) is to try (and I emphasize TRY) to stay a step ahead of them. "TRY" to be ready for what they might ask or need your assistance on and "TRY" to be as educated on the subjects as you can. I know that it's about impossible to do. But if you approach the subjects with intelligence and a levelheaded attitude it will make it a little bit easier. It sounds like you did well with the tampon issue. Your daughter should be proud of you and your efforts. Keep up the good work and the good name of "Single Father" . You're allright with me.
 Northern Lights
Joined: 9/17/2004
Msg: 20
Tweens & Tampons
Posted: 8/3/2008 4:01:26 PM
Didn't read any responses after the one where you said you got the box of tampons, she got to go swimming and was accident free!

Good for you!!

I remember when i started using them, it took a few tries but eventually I got the hang of it. Sure, I had my mom, but stuff like that made her uncomfortable I think? Either way, you can't hurt yourself putting one in, it's either comfortable, or it's not.... if it's not, you know it's in wrong and you pull it out and start again.

I can't imagine being a dad raising a girl... then again, I'm a mom, raising a boy, so I'm sure we'll have some interesting discussions as time goes on. Take it in stride, it's all a part of growing up. You may not be the best person to help with the tampon dilemma, but hell, as long as your supportive, that's all that counts right?

When my daughter had a baby earlier this year, I went out to buy her some stuff. I was shocked at all the different stuff out there nowadays. I don't get my periods any longer, haven't for 10 years now (due to a procedure I had done YAY..FREEDOM!!!! ). I swear to god, I was in that aisle for about 15 minutes, comparing different brands/types of pads. I felt positively out of my league, but I did manage to get what she needed

I was so proud of myself for coming home with the right stuff... you have no idea how much the products change over time!
 ChocolateNutt
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 21
Tweens & Tampons
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:32:27 PM
Great job, Dad!!

By the way, make sure you keep some pads on hand as well. Suggest she wear one as well as the tampon is she's going to be doing some major exercise or playing sports as they can cause leakage fairly quickly sometimes. Having a small pad on as back up may save her some embarrassment.

Nutt
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