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 AUTHOR
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 52
No time for coffee dates, at my agePage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

*pushes Miss Mae over*....I would like a nice red please!



...Hey, quit being so rough, I'm sure theres plenty of room for all three of us....oops looks like Phoebe wants in on the action as well....are you up for it rearguard?

btw....thank you


...maeflowers
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 55
No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:28:09 PM
We are in need of new topic...more creative topic...
 Celticmist
Joined: 2/1/2005
Msg: 57
No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:29:39 PM
I have been on a few coffee dates, some good, some bad. The good ones usually work in to several hrs, be it lunch, a walk in the park, perusing the book store etc etc

Royal, perhaps if you explained what you would perfer to do in your profile, you could avoid the coffee dates altogether, and specify that you would prefer to have lunch at an accessible venue. Actually it might be a good way to eliminate some baduns, as they tend not to be willing to alter their venues to accomodate the person they want to meet)

( and I am sitting here sipping my red wine waiting to see Sam and RearG in their belly dancing costumes )
 MacKevinized
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 58
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No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 6/3/2008 3:50:37 AM

Well let's see. In the past week I have had a nice, uneventful coffee date with a convicted stalker; had a no-show that I didn't see coming (later I realized he was 50+ and never married, should have known), and turned down a fellow after 10 or 20 emails who asked me for a "meet and greet.... do you do coffee?"



This forum thread has disintegrated into chat.


This forum began as a chat.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 59
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No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 6/3/2008 4:49:42 AM

...are you up for it rearguard?


Well, I'm not as good as I once was, but I am as good once as I ever was......

So I may need reinforcements. Where is Norm when he is really needed?????
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 60
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No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 6/3/2008 5:00:50 AM
I think our Normie is busy on a coffee date with one of his 80 plus favs!!!

OT: Of late, I have been trying to get out more for coffee/drinks. You have to put yourself out there so to speak do you not? But I do understand where the OP is coming from. They can be taxing to say the least in a lot of ways!!!
 expat57
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 61
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No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 6/4/2008 9:13:20 AM
I've accepted one coffee date offer. (Other dates were to do something else.)
He was a half hour late, reeked of alcohol, didn't bring cash to pay for his own coffee even so I bought his for him, and he spent the time telling me about how he wasn't over the wife who divorced him.

I prefer to speak by phone first and I'm never impressed when someone spends money so creatively choosing something we can both afford to do ranks high in my book.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 63
No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 6/4/2008 10:28:51 AM
...One of my last "meet-ups" was at a local mall, afterwards I went shopping and I found the most perfect pair of heels, plus I had some errands to run so it worked out perfectly.

...maeflowers
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 64
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No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 6/4/2008 10:30:49 AM

I've accepted one coffee date offer. (Other dates were to do something else.)


Err...you routinely accept dates to do "something else"?????

Pls send me your phone number...:)
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 65
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No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 6/4/2008 10:33:55 AM
Problem for myself is that while I can find a bottom for the costume that fits, where will I get a top in a AAAAAAAA cup?
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 66
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No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 6/4/2008 10:43:45 AM
^^^Shall I lend you mine Rear?

I think we have to make the time if at all possible. Some of us are perhaps not as mobile as others, which is understandable and in that case, other arrangments can be made. Time spent having a coffee or a drink getting to know someone is not a long committment of time, unless you really get along with the other person. In which case, then, things are lookin good! lol
 Celticmist
Joined: 2/1/2005
Msg: 68
No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 6/5/2008 1:50:55 PM
oh god now I have a visual of RG belly dancing topless (where did I put that bottle of red wine? )

People I have been on coffee dates that were disasters, some that were good laughs, some that lead to a friendship or more dates. The problem is that if you sit behind your computer and never get out to meet anyone - absolutely nothing is going to happen. The last coffee date I had 2 weeks ago has turned into meeting a super nice guy who likes me as much as I like him, and even if we are going slowly - that one coffee date has opened up possibilities of so much more.

So keep going out to them and loosen up a few of those restrictions of yours so a real person has a chance. You just never know what a good coffee (or tea) can lead to.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 69
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No time for coffee dates, at my age (No time for coffee or any beverage meeting, at ANY age)
Posted: 5/4/2019 7:01:50 AM
I can just make my own coffee and flip through profiles of better men. Why would I waste my energy and effort on meeting some internet cheapskate for an audition, to prove myself to somebody I already don't like? No, thanks.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 70
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No time for coffee dates, at my age (No time for coffee or any beverage meeting, at ANY age)
Posted: 5/4/2019 1:21:30 PM
The truth is most men don’t really care about the dinner date because they don’t need romance to be happy. They may need sex, but the desire for romance is more of a female thing. As Henry said on here, when a guy reaches a certain age and his libido starts to diminish he’s happy just to sit at home watching the game on TV. Women never seem to lose their desire to be in a romantic relationship no matter how old they get.
No time for coffee dates, at my age (No time for coffee or any beverage meeting, at ANY age)
Posted: 5/5/2019 3:25:41 PM

I can just make my own coffee and flip through profiles of better men. Why would I waste my energy and effort on meeting some internet cheapskate for an audition, to prove myself to somebody I already don't like? No, thanks.


hahaha. What the hell makes you think a woman's time and attention is more valuable than a man's that it makes her deserving of anything else other than his time and attention in return?
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 72
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No time for coffee dates, at my age (No time for coffee or any beverage meeting, at ANY age)
Posted: 5/5/2019 3:41:53 PM

I can just make my own coffee and flip through profiles of better men. Why would I waste my energy and effort on meeting some internet cheapskate for an audition, to prove myself to somebody I already don't like? No, thanks.


The man paying is a traditional gender role. You know what else is traditional? When a man says, “Make me a sandwich or else!” A traditional woman you not only should be able to make coffee, and a sandwich, but also an entire 3-course dinner for a man when he comes home from a long day of work.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 73
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No time for coffee dates, at my age (No time for coffee or any beverage meeting, at ANY age)
Posted: 5/5/2019 4:34:07 PM

The man paying is a traditional gender role. You know what else is traditional? When a man says, “Make me a sandwich or else!” A traditional woman you not only should be able to make coffee, and a sandwich, but also an entire 3-course dinner for a man when he comes home from a long day of work


There you go! Some women, including so called feminists want to cling to outdated dating practices that were made at a time when women had no jobs or low paying ones. Ok , men should continue to pay only if said women stays at to cook a 3 course meal with a mop in hand. That being said, I do pay because I like my cake an eat it too, and do expect my women to cook and do traditional female roles like bake the cake I come home to.


. What the hell makes you think a woman's time and attention is more valuable than a man's that it makes her deserving of anything else other than his time and attention in return?


Bingo! In fact supposedly in the older age group men make more income, so in fact a mans time is WORTH much more than a women's time based on what the W -2 says! I know, Perhaps men should get an extra stipend since they have to pay for the calories a women throws down her throat? Damn, I thought that was what food stamps were for! If men HAVE to pay they should at least be able to claim an exemption on their 1040 for the nutritional supplements to their dates diet.


I can just make my own coffee and flip through profiles of better men.

Men can do the same thing and flip through profiles of better women. However, viewing profiles vs the opportunity to get these men for a LTR are 2 different things, and it has been established already the "better men" have so many options that they don't have to conform to some outdated notion that men pay for women, or that women are entitled to stuff their faces with free food at a mans expense. Therefore, the men desperate enough to wine and dine women they don't know , to get a meeting, would rarely qualify as being deemed by society as "better men" by any measurable standard.

Unless of course you think it is fair to exploit the dating disadvantage OLD most men have in North America by implying they MUST"buy" women , by buying them food or coffee or anything?
Before you answer , realize that any answer you give causes can cause a shit stir because most forum women don't expect men to buy them food on a 1st meeting, so your characterization of the men they choose as being "lesser men" is actually directly insulting your fellow gender members, females, not actually insulting men.Good going!

Anyone want a free meal can go to the soup kitchen! Although I would never take a women to stuff her face with food at a meeting I do have a soft spot for felines and will buy them some nice cans of food!
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 74
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No time for coffee dates, at my age (No time for coffee or any beverage meeting, at ANY age)
Posted: 5/5/2019 4:42:55 PM

There you go! Some women, including so called feminists want to cling to outdated dating practices that were made at a time when women had no jobs or low paying ones. Ok , men should continue to pay only if said women stays at to cook a 3 course meal with a mop in hand. That being said, I do pay because I like my cake an eat it too, and do expect my women to cook and do traditional female roles like bake the cake I come home to.


I’ve talked to Russian women who expect to be paid for, but they also agree that a woman should fulfill other responsibilities in the home. I have more respect for them than a feminist who wants to have her cake and eat it too.
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 75
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No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 5/6/2019 4:13:15 PM
Isn't the term 'coffee date' more of a generic way to say 'lets meet up in an impartial setting for a simple chance to see if we click in person'? Doesn't have to actually be for 'a coffee'. Could just be a way to say 'lets meet at point x and decide what happens after that'.

Not everyone likes coffee, and I drink black coffee so I immediately turn off almost all coffee drinkers here in Australia that like to poison their coffee with moo-juice or an equivalent liquid. ;-)
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 76
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No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 5/8/2019 11:55:31 AM
My first meets tend to be dinner- usually at the guy's suggestion.
I think that's because I keep attracting men who want to text or talk on the phone way too long before meeting, so we generally know each other a bit before we meet. I have such a date this Friday.

I've been talking on the phone frequently for the last two weeks, with a guy who lives out of state- he's in California, I'm in AZ.
I initially rejected him because of the distance, but he was very persistent, and charming, so I finally gave him my number. We've had several very good conversations, and there is chemistry- can feel it over the phone.
He comes to AZ at least once a year, because he plans to move here when he retires- he's 60.
He's moving his planned trip up, so that we can meet. He's just waiting for me to get my upcoming work schedule so that he can plan around that.
I will be excited to see if he really does come out to meet, and if all goes well, then what?

But, I'm a democrat, and he's a republican. We got in an argument about politics last night. We agreed not to discuss politics anymore. Hope that works, lol.

As for the who makes more money, most of the time, I make more money than my dates. And I do offer to go Dutch. Almost every man has refused my offer.

And as for traditional roles- here's a reversal. My date Friday, is a single, custodial father of an eleven year old girl. His ex gets their daughter every other weekend. She is supposed to pay him child support, but is two months behind.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 77
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No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 5/8/2019 12:43:15 PM

s for the who makes more money, most of the time, I make more money than my dates. And I do offer to go Dutch. Almost every man has refused my offer.

I refuse too lol. I just am against it when other person feels entitled. Also where I live(one of the most expensive places in the world) a dinner can set you back a lot. I mean our fast food dollar menu's don't cost a dollar here. That other member who EXPECTS is from a Boston suburb and Boston is also pretty expensive. Remember the average person doesn't make more than average in expensive cities. It is just a lot of venues cater to the filthy rich.


And as for traditional roles- here's a reversal. My date Friday, is a single, custodial father of an eleven year old girl. His ex gets their daughter every other weekend. She is supposed to pay him child support, but is two months behind.

My mother didn't pay my father child support and he got custody in 1973, that was more rare than a unicorn back then.


Isn't the term 'coffee date' more of a generic way to say 'lets meet up in an impartial setting for a simple chance to see if we click in person'? Doesn't have to actually be for 'a coffee'. Could just be a way to say 'lets meet at point x and decide what happens after that'.

Basically. I say on end of my profile "drinks anyone?". But a meet up can be a walk in the park, on the boardwalk,etc. Some of my best meet ups were just walking with no cost. In fact, looking back those type of meetings often ended up in a relationship or "fun". I have been blessed with meeting some women who actually don't want me spending my money on them. I once met a gal on the corner of a subway entrance and she just wanted me to walk around as she shopped for some special tea she keeps at home. I got thirsty and suggested sit down. We did but she just sat there as I drank a tea. Didn't order anything herself. I knew she liked me because when we left she wanted to hold hands and I found out we lived 2 train stops from each other so took the train back to Brooklyn together while she was steering at my teeth on the platform asking how they are so white(a sign she wanted to kiss). I walked her to her building , we kissed and departed(no invite in). Cost of meeting...0 minus the tea for myself and subway ride.
That is contrary to the gal who suggested we meet on a cruise ship that way if we don't like each other we can mingle and meet others she said. She never did say who would foot the bill but I decided meeting her was not healthy for my wallet.
No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 5/8/2019 3:22:43 PM
I never had an iron-clad "no coffee shop meet ups" rule when I was doing the online dating thing, but the vast majority of the time we met up at local band gigs. I know there are people who suggest the trite 30 minute coffee meetup to see if the two people can at least tolerate each other and move on to an actual "date", but I was always confident things would go well enough that we would be hanging out all night, and we did.

I've always believed if a man got as far as getting a woman to meet him, but still managed to lose her interest after meeting, he very likely dropped the ball in some way.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 79
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No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 5/9/2019 10:16:08 AM
I wish I could find a better alternatative than a local coffee shop (ie. Timmy's) but a first meeting needs to be both safe (in public with other people around) and cheap (no sense spending too much money on a dud date, save that for a secondary date). The reason I don't love going to a local coffee shop for a meetup is that there's a possibility various relatives or acquaintances will show up and gawk at you from another table. I try to go to the small city (of 20,000 people) a half hour away. Also, our cold Canadian winters make being indoors compulsory in the winter which lasts half the year.

I figure, a coffee shop is fine for a meetup. The objective is just meeting a person and figuring out if there is a potential for a real first date. A first meet is not a date so no need to be creative.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 80
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No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 5/9/2019 6:50:33 PM
westernrose
There are dangers with meeting those from online and I understand females taking precautions. So a busy coffee shop is fine and if you want to, you can then go for a walk or move to a quieter place. The mistake some make is meeting in a drinking venue and having a little too much. It is wise to Skype or have live video chats before meeting and I would use a prepaid phone for dating so if things get heavy your main communication is not affected...
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 81
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No time for coffee dates, at my age
Posted: 5/9/2019 6:56:42 PM
I always have time for some "hot coffee/hot chocolate"...
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