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 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 2
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Maturely Not Saying I Love YouPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Well sweetie? It certianly sounds as though something has changed as far as you and your emotions go. Why not just be straight forward with the fellow and let him know how you feel? Is he open to the thought of being in love? Of sharing your life with you? Funny sometimes how we get caught up in our relationships wherein they go where we didn't think they would? Good luck hun. Hope it works out for you
 SapphirePoet
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 4
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Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 10:16:43 AM
I have found that a lot of people are really scared of those 3 words.
As I have gotten older I am a lot less likely to just blurt it out without thinking about the consequences first.
I recently met a man and he told me he loved me within a few days of meeting.
How could you possibly love me if you don't even know me? And if you are talking about the "universal love" you have for everyone, well that's not the type of love I want in a relationship.
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 5
Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 10:17:24 AM
Well...you don't have to love him completely...but you can tell him what you feel...and when...
Tell him you love the way he kisses you...touches you...cares about you...words...I love you don't have deep meaning...for a man...
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 11
Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 11:03:37 AM
pazoozoo...

Well...we are mature and not naive...anymore.That kind of reaction...is for young people...maybe...
 MacKevinized
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 14
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Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 11:24:31 AM

Yet we keep getting together, and since we're both very affectionate and very physical, we sometimes end up in bed. Recently I found myself wanting to say "I love you." I didn't. I'm too experienced to toss that around lightly, and I don't think our circumstances merit it. Instead I said "you make me feel so accepted," and he thanked me for accepting him too (there's a lot that needs acceptance, truthfully - in both directions).

But it was an eye-opener to me, because I don't think I had even thought it before.

So now what do I do?


Looking for judgments?

1. just keep screwing with this guy's head and groin while you have a profile looking for long term
2. just keep starting dumb threads for attention and pity
3. keep living up to your username.

Find more friends with benefits.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 16
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Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 12:31:33 PM
Do you love him in a romantic sense? Do you love him enough (unconditionally) to where if it is mutual, that the 2 of you'd want to spend the rest of your life together? If you really want to say "I love you" to this fella, then go for it. What his reaction will be, who knows? Loving can be a gamble, but when a couple is on a very good relationship, they are comfortable with each other (as well as themselves), and are on the same page in life, there is no hesitation when it comes to saying "I love you". Relationships, especially romantic ones are a risk, it's about lying your heart on the table with no guaranees that your partner will be on the same page that you are in your lives.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 19
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Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 2:24:31 PM
Next time you "feel" like saying that...just take an antiacid....20 mins and you'll feel MUCH BETTER! LOL!
 MacKevinized
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 22
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Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 3:11:30 PM

Let's just say that I think there's a reason I keep seeing this guy - after "breaking up" a couple times - he and I both need something the other is uniquely qualified to give. (Get your minds out of the gutter, people, it's not that!) And we do have a genuine liking. Is that enough for a committed relationship? Well, obviously, I thought not on at least two prior occasions. But maybe my feelings are starting to change, and this "I love you" impulse is my wake-up call.

Time will tell. I'm not taking any action at all, just yet.


Is this why you're willing to get a dinner date but not a coffee date.
Just keeping him on the 'back burner' till something better comes along.

I could see why you don't want to waste time for coffee when you could just give this guy a call, it's much easier.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 26
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Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:11:51 PM
LOL! Yeah, but I've always preferred Data's definition:

“As I experience certain sensory input patterns, my mental pathways become accustomed to them. The inputs are eventually anticipated, even missed when absent.”
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 33
Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 3:23:04 AM
We don't have to say...we love...read our eyes.
 MacKevinized
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 34
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Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 3:35:37 AM

No strings attached whatever, but not purely physical. Because of my professional training and his professional training, we are able to provide understanding to one another that someone else might not provide. So there is an emotional element, too.


Are you a couple of escorts that like giving each other freebies because there is an emotional understanding about not getting involved with paying clients.

Or maybe a massage parlor where you sip coffee together between clients and that's why you don't have time for coffee dates.

What kind of professional training teaches no strings sexual encounters.
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 37
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Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 2:59:04 PM
RP,

I think I know where you are coming from. I have a friend who has been dating a man for a few months. They spend a lot of time together and she has been very careful with the physical side of the relationship. He has been a perfect gentleman.. but she is not sure this is who she wants for a Long Term relationship.

She herself has nearly said the three words to him but stops herself... because she does not know if she is just longing for a mate, or if she is truly falling in love with him..

So she spents phone time with me discussing it ... heck I got nuttin else to do right???

You might want to do some reflection on this girlfriend.. sounds like you might want to make some decisions..

Good luck!!!
 Glaucia
Joined: 7/23/2007
Msg: 51
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Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:27:17 PM
To say "I Love You", in all the ages, is the best thing in the world!
The thing is that we care about other's feelings... if he/she will think about it, about me... about my experiences... about my proud!
To love someone is not a question of him/her.
To love someone is a question for me, myself, my soul, my hart!
I love! I feel! I want to say that! I need to say it, in that moment, in that place, in that age!
Love is love... and that's enough to make me happy. And when I'm happy, I can do the best for my loving!
Why people are so worry about the rules and what the other think about me.
Just let us be ridiculous! Don't be afraid of that! It's easy and funny! Enjoy the life and the lovers!

Best,

Glaucia
 soisaid
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 55
Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:49:02 PM
amo-vida, I dont think you maturely did not say "I love you" I think you immaturely did not say - "I love you!"

The feeling of being in Love is wonderful, and you did feel that. The reasoning mind is what held you back from saying it, how will he take it, will this change things, will you feel you gave him the upper hand, maybe worried that he does not love you back.. sheesh, love is not an action, it is an allowing, and you did not allow it expression. and the funny thing is the more you love the move love you have to share.

i think the next you feel like telling someone you love them you should.
 soisaid
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 57
Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/3/2008 3:00:59 PM
^^^ I did confuse you with Blithe Spirit! my apologies!
 ~1happywoman~
Joined: 9/20/2006
Msg: 59
Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/18/2008 8:43:19 PM
Some time ago, I lost a relationship I cherished, and it hurt. I decided I would close my heart off and never have to feel that pain again. I really thought I might not be capable of feeling love ever again. But then I read an article that, in short, said one has to let others into their heart to heal it. I found that to be very true.

I have decided that if I love someone, I will tell them. The worst is that they won't love me back, but I will have had the richness of giving love. The best is - when someone loves you back. So, OP, say it if you feel it.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 62
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Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/20/2008 9:35:29 AM
Only you will know if you "love him", or are truly "in love" with him, and that goes for your man as well.

The "L" word is bantered about way to much, and in way to many ways, which makes it significance mean totally different things to different people.

There are many of us that have been hurt one time to many, or so deeply, that something happens within us that turns that heart machine off with the "in love" part, but has not shut down the "loving" side at all.

I let my actions speak for me with those I am with, and when this conversation comes up, there can be a whole evening, bottle of wine, discussing what it all means, and what can or can not be accepted.

We are mature enough to know that throwing that "L" word around so much, has little effect on what we truly know that it means for us, so many of us seldom, if ever use the "L" word at all.

Many times it becomes what you can accept and understand when the one you care about, just might not care as deeply, or the exact same way as you do about them. I guess that is why we have great discussions, understandings, and mutual acceptance, and why some just have to move on.

I will let my actions speak for me, and my heart, mind, and soul, may care, and if that is not enough for another, then they will move on. I "love" a great deal when appropriate, but have not been capable of being "in love" for a long long time.

Just my opinion.......
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