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 tallshyman
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 18
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Disabled Dating in MissouriPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
she has dizzy spells and gets 750.00 a month in ssi to live on. her last boy friend moved last month and lives in a security hut with no power and no water. she can get a apartment but wants to keep the 3 dogs she has lift. lost 4 dogs in the fire.
she will stop asking me for help when I find a woman but I can not fine a woman.

 previouslyme
Joined: 12/13/2008
Msg: 19
Disabled Dating in Missouri
Posted: 1/5/2009 8:22:37 PM
You need to get in or out of the relationship part. If you want a relationship with her, make sure it is what she wants too.

Too bad she already has dogs, she needs to get herself in order and safe. The dogs will make it more difficult. Once things are good, then I would get a dog. I love animals, would love to have a farm and do the whole rescue thing. But, that just won't work in my life right now.

You don't have to have a disability to not want to go out with you... Some won't go out with someone with a certain hair color. My biggest deal breaker is men that say, oh you really are tall! Then I know they aren't interested. With a brother that is paralyzed from the shoulders down, no hand use, but can move arms, dating and love is possible for him. One of his best friends, same type of paralysis just married & his wife gave birth to twins a month ago. Another is an attorney now in DC, his wife has given him 2 children now. These guys can't help much with the everyday things but life went on.....and keeps going on....
 tallshyman
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 20
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Disabled Dating in Missouri
Posted: 1/8/2009 6:55:23 PM
she found a 12' x 60' home to live in for 600 dollars
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 21
Disabled Dating in Missouri
Posted: 1/8/2009 7:12:15 PM
That's awesome, Tall! :O)

Nalatal...personally, I am rather offended when you use terms like "shallow" when referencing people who are intimidated or disinterested, because of a disability. So if I prefer someone be able to walk...or I prefer they have legs...or I prefer they can see...or I prefer they can hear....I am shallow??
 previouslyme
Joined: 12/13/2008
Msg: 22
Disabled Dating in Missouri
Posted: 1/8/2009 9:10:04 PM
Like with any peference, it isn't being shallow. Some are better handling living with disabilities that others. A messy unorganized person would not work out very well with someone that is blind or in a wheelchair. Some disabilities would be considered a burden to some. No one said it is going to be easy, I do think having a disability can make things a little more challenging.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 23
Disabled Dating in Missouri
Posted: 1/8/2009 9:12:23 PM
Completely in agreement...and what I said...well it comes from someone who is considered "disabled!" But if someone is turned off of me for such, I certainly do not think they are shallow. Uneducated about such, possibly....intimidated probably....lol...but shallow? Nope!
 Xenos1967
Joined: 11/21/2008
Msg: 24
Disabled Dating in Missouri
Posted: 1/9/2009 12:51:33 AM
I knew a girl who had four fingers insted of giving a hi five she would always say hi 4 its the attitude that makes the differance. I have always enjoyed the water because it is easier for me to move. Being disabled dosn't mean that we are incapeable of doing things like dancing. I have seen parapeligics who are in better shape than most people who have total use of their arms and leggs. I am of the opinion who is stronger the disabled or Arnold Swartzneiger. The disabled are stronger because the obstacle course we have to run each day. our spirits are lighter because we know what are the important things in life. Most people will never know anything beyond their own two eyes. I feel sorry for them.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 25
Disabled Dating in Missouri
Posted: 1/9/2009 6:00:54 AM
LOL...my ex did the same thing....I can hear it now, to my grandson..."High four, Tyler!"

Thanks for the giggle!
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 27
Disabled Dating in Missouri
Posted: 1/9/2009 12:32:05 PM
Dee....I think exactly what you did here...explain it...is what should be ok..and if they think anything less or wrong...they are the wrong person! :O) You are self supporting...that is all that they should need to know, in my opinion!

Have you tried starting back simply as a sub?? I know they are ALWAYS in demand in my areas school district...they do not turn anyone down with the credentials, and it can lead to full time, permanent. :)
 previouslyme
Joined: 12/13/2008
Msg: 28
Disabled Dating in Missouri
Posted: 1/9/2009 1:36:56 PM
Tutoring is also another way to ease back into it, some day cares may appreciate the help too. Some of the groups of home school moms also occasionally want to hire teachers for extra help on occasion. Not all home schooled children are isolated at home. Some work with other families for a better balance of education and socialization. One of my friends is a botonist, she helps once a week with a lutheran group.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 30
Disabled Dating in Missouri
Posted: 1/9/2009 9:49:23 PM
Dee...please check with SSA and ask them about "Ticket to Work" and other programs which allow you to gradually get back into a full time position.

I was a program manager who worked craploads of disability cases...and this program enabled people to gradually go back to work and still maintain certain programs like Medicaid, Medicare (sometimes indefinitely) and food stamps. It also enabled them to keep their cash check. Also...uninsured CHILDREN are eligible to keep their Medicaid.

Also, consider OTHER school districts, hon! Teaching is one field which is renowned for long absences...kid and family friendly career! LOL Yes, you might have to start at the bottom of the food chain, but you should not be penalized for the time away AND penalized for being "over qualified." That is contradicting.

Lastly....contact the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. They can put you in contact with (and pay for!) services from an organization like I worked for...that assist in Job Development, and etc. :O)
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 32
Disabled Dating in Missouri
Posted: 1/10/2009 7:13:48 AM
Aww....just hope some of this info might actually help! One sh1t thing about SSA and etc is that the rules change soooo often...and being out of the field for a couple years...well, hopefully it will help! ;O)
 previouslyme
Joined: 12/13/2008
Msg: 33
Disabled Dating in Missouri
Posted: 1/11/2009 10:06:58 PM
I am amazed at some of the expectations. My brother can't use his hands or walk and various other things, because of a spinal cord injury. Yet, every year he has to requalify. Did they find a cure for spinal cord injuries? NO. So, why do they make him run to all his doctors and fill out these silly forms to prove he can't function like he did before his injury. He doesn't need to go to the doctor, but he has to go to them just to prove he hasn't had any miracle recoveries I guess.

He and I were talking about the challenges of dating and planning a long term relationship in his situation. Just about everyday things that he used to get to do. Yes, he wants to do things like go to the beach in Mexico or Jamaica. Ever imagine what it would be like to try to use a wheel chair in the sand? Take a swim or even a nice dip in a hot tub?

He, and I do too, realize that there is not a head stone in the cemetary next to Dad with his name on it inspite of what we were told that awful night and the days following. The challenges and changes are worth every day set before us.

Our dreams may remain our dreams, but at least we have them. Some are fortunate to live out some of their dreams. I was crying while he talked, I am glad I was behind him and he was doing the most of the talking. I barely was able to get out yeses and nos. He was even talked about how he looked forward to the friendship he thought he made with RW over Thanksgiving weekend. It is amazing how much of a siblings life can effect the others at an adult age still.

Take an inventory of the good things in your life. The negative things are not what you want to focus on. I just wish it wasn't so easy to think about those things. The goal is to move forward inspite of how hard it is. The pain may never go away, but the light is still ahead of us. We have so many gifts and so much potential...
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 34
Disabled Dating in Missouri
Posted: 1/12/2009 8:17:49 AM
Not to sound ignorant, but maybe your brother and "RW" could maintain their friendship? I know he spoke of how incredible he felt that Neil was! Does that friendship have to be exclusive to a relationship between the two of you? ;) Just a thought! Have Neil email R...and maybe they CAN be friends. :O)

I am shocked that Neil has to requalify for his benefits, every year? Initially, you get a Doc that says if it is a permanent disability or not. How odd...never heard of that! I know they are making amazing discoveries in spinal cord injuries...but until then, he should be considered permanently disabled. It MAY be something to do with so many other complications occurring as a result...organ failure and such...and they want to ensure he is getting all he can?? Odd! Will inquire of such!
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