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 AUTHOR
 transcend
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 576
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crayons dipped in phoenix firePage 24 of 40    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40)
great question to those that run from fear , i tend to embrace it in my head so that when i have to act its an almost spinal reflex.. makes it more likely to have a positive outcome.. i used to be afraid of my temper..I could let it out when i was an invalid, unable to do more than make noise..visions of being pulled off people, hands forcibly removed from more than one neck , stopping short of dealing stupid death and having to live with that.. understanding that walking away was wise but that was a slower lesson to learn since running away never worked as a kid , it was all about learning to take a punch while plotting revenge thru clinched teeth. Made it tough to not go for a death dance once i could... Staying away from bars helped, not drinking helped, learning Aikido helped but selfishly wanting my hands to work ( Thanks for that tip , Pops) probably worked best.... Enlightened self interest.. now theres a prize


what made you do it, made you take that bottle from the table
you know it isnt wise..think
yes the face contorted between your hands is hateful
maybe you should dot the eyes..close them for good
speed of thought to movement is a gift ,
it can buy you freedom or get you locked up
with those that made a career
of bad choices

faster than a speeding convict..hmm
that isnt even fun to imagine

wrong door
 joro
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 577
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/5/2008 5:22:29 PM
what am I afraid of?
what are you afraid of?
what is he afraid of?
he looks like a man afraid to sleep
like he never rests in serenity
never enjoying the scent of spring
or ripened fruit in the marketplace

in a crouched state of obeisance
lost capacity for understanding emotion
dwindled to that of a flea
convulsing with every sound of life
to never again breathe deeply

blighted life, beyond repair
cheating wife wanting more
buy the right gifts to find a smile
but she lacks the politeness of a badger
seperate rooms, both sides stinking badly
defiled, as if they forgot to wash
each day a mile down a road of crooked lies
without hope for a hereafter
that menacing void makes shabby every gesture

He died without water for neglected thirst
and burned from a lack of passion
spurned by his martyrs, his ears pinned by his demons
falling to hell down an elevator shaft
that he designed and built himself
screaming his brains out in his favorite hawiian shirt
 EthericWhisper
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 578
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History
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/6/2008 5:14:43 PM
surrounded by black, and yellow-brown fur
and eyes that look to me nightly
i'm kept busy

entertaining and fun, silly and serious
little lives spent in this small space
its what they know

at the end of the day I still miss your face
and how i felt what you needed
my heart grows numb
 joro
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 579
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/8/2008 4:30:00 PM
But so many fear to succeed far more than they loath the safety of stagnation."
and i do accept loss but i accept the inlfation
for there is nuthin to lose except stagnant deflation
for i quit it without the dialation
 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 580
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/8/2008 4:35:00 PM
and if i quit believing
remind me why
nothing is worth appreciation
without trial
struggle
friends
love
 TNT_DYNO
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 581
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/8/2008 6:38:20 PM
Hey Ash:

Inspired by all persons posting here, is presented mine feeble attempts potic. (someday I'll have, or find an 'e' , perhaps..Lol)

'Coloured'

Multi coloured, expressed those instruments in awe!
Create in youth, inspired drawing, singing, to draw!
Dancing free, with songs of heart surprised, admonish still
Saddened, to learning there, attempted suppressed my will.

Rainbows of crayons, coloured horizons melted in fire
Words of teaching pretense, control evident, disgust inspire
Little man then, of joyous expression soul, of squelching tried
Eloquently offered the bouquet of many middled fingers, implied.


Ash. Love your poems, and the attractions you gather to the flame here.

(More potic imagery .... )

: )
 TNT_DYNO
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 582
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/8/2008 7:36:23 PM
'Belief'

Hard
Believed in
Softened intellect
Subjected subterfuge
Pushing doors in
Walked away
Not hard

Hard
Wood fire
Warmed desire
Forgotten false spire
Hardened not by idiocy
Sailing sea of medicroty
Laughing most freely
Walking childlike
Emperor's new
Cloth naked
Not hard


 transcend
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 583
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crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/8/2008 9:46:19 PM
compromise never tastes like cake
unless its free
giving up anything spoils the mood
its all about me
if every thought i have rings so true
then why should i ever listen to you?

are you waiting for me to change my mind?
to offer you something for seeing it my way
what meaningless thing could I offer you
to pretend tomorrow it will be your day
if i can only get you in the habit
of letting me be wolf to your rabbit

I wonder why respecting a partner
is tied to how much i have to give in
hiding my selfishness better than you
or just long enough to win?
its the pattern of those that give it all at first
the slow killing dance of best to worst


even my cat gave up
 SexySweeti
Joined: 5/26/2006
Msg: 584
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/9/2008 10:06:03 AM
Someone comes across our path
and they touch us in a special way
They make us think and make us feel
In the end they will help us heal

I will follow and love will lead
Take me higher and set me free
All the lessons you hold for me
I am grateful and I shall heed

It first seemed splendourous
sharing our thoughts of boundless intimacy
there was a brightness, that gave me hope
Hope anyway, has no scope

So close but far apart
And still the light shines on the dark
Alone again we must seek
Finding out what we already know
No chains are needed, Love is free
With hope....We learn to let go.
 SexySweeti
Joined: 5/26/2006
Msg: 585
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/9/2008 11:16:09 AM
Someone comes across our path
and they touch us in a special way
They make us think and make us feel
In the end they will help us heal

I will follow and love will lead
Take me higher and set me free
All the lessons you hold for me
I am grateful and I shall heed

It first seemed splendourous
sharing our thoughts of boundless intimacy
there was a brightness, that gave me hope
Hope anyway, has no scope

So close but far apart
And still the light shines on the dark
Alone again we must seek
Finding out what we already know
No chains are needed, Love is free
You whispered to my soul....
With hope....
We can let go.
 ash.i.am
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 586
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/9/2008 5:52:19 PM
well if that wasn't a page full of some cool energies, i don't know what was...lol....popping in to at least let you guys know that i AM here and reading.......had an allergic reaction over the last few days that landed me in the ER on 2 occasions (checked out of the last this mornin' at about 6:30)....i'm alright now....but i'm on medicines that have conflicting interests as far as my energy is concerned.....so i don't know my butt from a hole in the ground at this particular point...lol...but i can assure you that i've read the words that you guys left under much more "clear" mental conditions....

GradBoy & SexySweeti ~ welcome to the homestead....put your feet up and get comfortable if you'd like...both of you are some pretty darned groovy folks....thank you for leaving a little something for us to read....much appreciated....


to all the rest of my fambly.....ya'll know that i'm always glad to see you here....and watch the energies and ideas that take place...the "dominoe effect" if you will......not quoting any parts of your writes in particular b/c of brain mush....but you KNOW that i appreciate the presence of each of you....


well...i will quote one.....just 'cause i liked what she said, so simply.....and just 'cause she played "mom" and "made" me go to the hospital this mornin'.....good friends are priceless.....*hugs* to you JuJu.....i liked this:




and if i quit believing
remind me why
nothing is worth appreciation
without trial
struggle
friends
love



i like the simple truth that was stated there....







i reckon' i'll bring a few home......"ya'll come back now, ya' hear?!?"....
 ash.i.am
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 587
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/9/2008 6:04:57 PM
the moon was hung
by some other guy
you swore it was me
i'm not sure as to why
so i took down the moon
and installed a fan
sending smoke signals out
to some other man
so who hung the moon now?
my feet don't fit in your box...
i love to run this way
you crave a woman in socks







(Om's Palms)
 ash.i.am
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 588
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/9/2008 6:05:35 PM
shivering up the spine of humanity
there was a collective "deja vu"
and a "how do you do"?
no chiropracter needed
as the pain is always found again
sometime after as the grinding rhythmically starts in
each disc's cushioning wearing away within time's ticking
popping within a streeeeetch....into place, the quickening
like pieces that were meant to fit, but not in the same place all of the time
a creation....beautifully, painfully,perfectly...flawed by it's design





(ethics and suppressed desires...feel free to express)
 ash.i.am
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 589
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/9/2008 6:06:00 PM
alone came creeping up
a smoke ring kind of thing
thick....distinct....at first
forming the perfect "oh"





(six lines or less)
 ash.i.am
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 590
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/9/2008 6:06:30 PM
laughter was in us from the moment we were born
yet we came out screaming
at the shock
of what happens when the tick tock is over
when the chord is cut
and eyes, no longer shut,
had to feel the cold air
where those who really care

stood

because they could

all the while they already plans
for demands to be made
once we were back into the routine of debts to be paid

and it is in that image that we are made

to learn






(Just Simply Me)
 ash.i.am
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 591
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/9/2008 6:07:05 PM
anxiety....the unraveling


only the music provided peace
although drowning wasn't similar to Saul's release
the evil had been sent
and would not relent until the "i" could somehow subside within nervousness and inherited pride

i fealt undeserving of any pity
unless my mind convinced me of otherwise
and as i wandered the hallways aimlessly
i was creating a more creative disguise
for disgust


quiet could not be found in solitude
i found no space for grace
these words....these six... (never spoken before)
clearly paint the lost look on my face



what was this?



this grand feeling of failure
this sad substance behind laughter
that krept up on me in the days
after so-called bliss

this kiss

of distruction....self delivered

with the heart of a child....my lower lip quivers

and it should

and

.....if i could.....

i would take it back

i wasn't aware of the table when the cards where stacked

was madness curable
within s

c a

......t

....................t

e

............... r

e

.....d



thought?
could this healing process
really be taught

to a mind...that couldn't hold.... for long.....a thought?

i beg you

to take this from me

with tears in my eyes....it becomes hard to see









(Just Simply Me)
 Duality of Nightshade
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 592
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/9/2008 8:43:13 PM

this kiss

of distruction....self delivered

with the heart of a child....my lower lip quivers

and it should


Wish I could say I don't understand this. I would take it from you if I could, but the reality is, no one can.

 ash.i.am
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 593
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/9/2008 10:19:44 PM
stopping in from my steroid induced mid-morning cleaning of the house(it's 1 am here) ...and you've caught me by surprise....good to see you darlin'....

i suppose those moments exist so that we never get too big for our britches....

that write...was written....on one of those days, when i just got downright disgusted with what i've done to my mind and nerves due to the drugs/stroke....



most days
i can see some sort of vague outline
some resemblance of what reason looks like
....the lines that were drawn by purpose
....the shadows that speak without words

....leaving me speechless but stirred....

but......some days.....

just ain't like that, yanno?






thanks for stoppin' in...
 hashcannon
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 594
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crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/10/2008 8:21:49 AM
uma flor não está receosa do mundo.
aperfeiçoar em seu formulário…
impressionante em sua beleza sua não pede que você ame-a…
você já faz….
seu não faz o primp ou para preen…
ou rotação a e para.
seu não precisa.
seu magnificence é puro

ter um grande dia, pode a ascensão das flores para você


thevenusproject dot com
 transcend
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 595
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History
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/11/2008 8:33:05 PM
funny the things people choose
as worthy of a life and death battle
or so it seems to those that
make a different choice

I might kill for a beer ,kill you if i had too many
kill a drunken driver or a Mother or to not be one
every vice has its lovers, and every lover has advice
but nothing that will convince me to like yours better

than whatever has me by my nature
and won't let go
 ~Tropical~
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 596
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/12/2008 10:52:03 AM
even with faith
still waters can worry
as fear and doubt
create burdens of disbelief
that cause unecessary hurry

the kind where calm seems
particularly unenlightened
a dis ease of peculiar qualities
so quietly hidden in the deep
a superfluous oily slick that clings
while in the dark it slowly seeps

until it floats upon the surface
creating wasted trips and deeds
plunging face first heart first doesn’t always help
waiting for those circles to flow back towards the other self
and still...

its still
 ~Tropical~
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 597
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/12/2008 1:41:09 PM
more to say about fear and doubt....just a message I heard last weekend that stuck…

and still...its still
too much still in fact
the silence hums louder than a drum
of that would-be attack
of those stormy waters coming
to wash us out wash us back
to the beginning

fear and doubt
so hideously controlling
holding weight on the body
sodden soul shoes squelching what ifs or maybes

Aah! Its so limiting to be fearing
living was never supposed to be easy

however

its much easier live life with faith and reasoning
instead of colorful little rides of fly bys to get by
only to find that the ride ended
in fact the ride is not just yours
it was his it was hers
it is mine

the fear
and the nonsense of doubt
is simply a lack of believing
 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 598
crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/12/2008 7:14:40 PM
Straight No Chaser on you tube acapella
Never could sing as deep as those fellows
Laughed myself silly watching them go
Several different songs on video

(no brainer, ya see & know it's okay
everything is right in this world..."dell fixed today")
 transcend
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 599
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crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/13/2008 11:21:34 AM
Of course every fear has an advantage
rumor has it that its an inside job
we feed all the data into that hungry maw
every corrosive little voice we have ever heard
dismissed and discounted
sings so softly in a siren sonata
eating away at joy
spitting out sadness in seeds of sorrow
that if known, land on barren ground
hidden they fester
exposed they fall and fade
 transcend
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 600
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crayons dipped in phoenix fire
Posted: 12/15/2008 11:13:16 PM
its easy to love being in love
the heightened sense of everything
no walls to pleasure painting
on skin and within
but inspiration flows less like
a fountain than a geyser
pent up steam rising
without the build up, passion panting
adrenal adversaries pound the beat
on a daily drum as senses fed on novelty
wither

Its easy to reach out when we are well fed
why some leap from liason to another lover
full of the power of the last time
saying goodbye with every action
to an unsuspecting friend
if whats behind you has no meaning
the past a hound to flee
remember fleeing feeds that beast
he never loses your trail,knowing that you made him
growing mighty on a diet
of the pain that marks your path

Find a way to surrender to another light
save me from the darkness of my decisions
wash me clean of my own stench
while my selfishness changes masks
without losing the fear
that keeps me running
it is all about me , i made the monster
thats my power over my fate
i dug a hole and into it , I will fall
if i slow down even a little,I notice
what a tiny thing I've become

its easier to love being in love
than to live within it
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