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Joined: 11/30/2010
Msg: 827
Life's PaintingPage 8 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
the chords to my heart were being pulled in so many directions that I felt that I didn't have a complete heart to love with. but I did it anyway. the only sure way to cure sadness, that i have found, is to reach out and help others. there are children and homeless that need love, and no matter how small my love is it is more than they had before. i have a friend who needs a ride to the store. giving to others my time and my love is the greatest gift i ever gave myself. learning how to say "no", in order to love myself, is something that i am in the very process of learning. giving without possibility of praise, loving those who could do nothing for me, it is only by giving it away that I can fully keep what i have. "Dear Lord, make me an instrument of your peace...."
when drowning in the ocean one can fight the current but the arms soon grow tired, and no real progress is made at all. i chose to float, pray, and reach out a hand when my life-boat came passing by.....i can't know all the answers, so i stopped using ALL of my energy to ask "Why?"

"Where are your feet?"
once i simply concentrated on doing the next right thing within the very moment and upon the very ground on which i stood, i found that the moments added up to minutes, the minutes added up to hours, and the hours added up to days. it is how we spend our days that defines us. i try to spend mine, helping another, and giving myself a break for being human. when i find that the noise is too loud for me to do such, i call on a friend to love me until i can muster up the courage to love myself again. at all times, with baby steps, i dig deep. A paradox, perhaps? Certainly. You ever seen a baby climb a mountain?

Hey ya' this ....

[happy new year! ]
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 828
view profile
Life's Painting
Posted: 1/4/2012 5:58:41 PM
pretty little bird
blessed me with her sorrowful song
a gift of loss shared
a calm within a tempest

~so wonderfully glad you are well my friend! thanks for dropping that nibble in the jar. congrats on your magic marker!
a recent facebook status of mine: the real world is far to busy a place for me to spend time in a virtual one. ...
isn't living life a way better option?
the past few months have been stupifying with my father's passing and helping to care for my mom until permanent care is in place. at the same time, i have been present for all of it. even though i'm shattered most of the time, i am glad that i am capable of being there for my family. haven't quite got the balance thing down yet. i don't do new year's resolutions. but, i really am determined to get back into my life. crisis mode sucks. you inspire me!
much peace and love be yours this year!
Joined: 11/30/2010
Msg: 829
Life's Painting
Posted: 1/11/2012 11:00:07 AM
Aaahhhhhh....balance....A friend of mine refers to balance, jokingly (?), as "that thing we swing on to get from one extreme to the other" ;) I'm still "tweaking" it, that's for sure...Wish I could help you with that full plate over there, my friend. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time, but I find peace in knowing that you are ALWAYS in "the care of." As for real world and virtual world, there just aren't enough hours in the day!!! *sigh* Much love to you..*back to wrk*

the new girl some skills
and she will teach me
how patience is supposed to feel...

Whether I like it or not


Peace out girl scout!
Joined: 11/30/2010
Msg: 831
Life's Painting
Posted: 1/12/2012 3:57:27 AM
:) wassssuuuuuppppp!?!?!

Good to see you,too...I hope you have a wonderful New Year!! Thanks for stoppin' through!
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 832
view profile
Life's Painting
Posted: 1/21/2012 12:33:40 PM
remember how we used to love to walk along the curbstones
like balance beams
with arms out
and backs straight
all aspiring gymnasts

every now and then i fancy trying that again
but today it's all hedges
or fences
and scalloped edge blocks
i am no contortionist

so, i go along the road's edge without blinders
trying not to watch my feet
or get distracted
and veer into trafic
one among many travellers

thanks for your thoughts and love. glad to see you well within "the care of". the best thing about love is that the more it flows, the more it grows. i draw much strength from friends like you.

you know that only time things get hard is when i decided they should be different. little girl is hurting. i have to let her hurt for the right reasons or she'll just find some other, wrong reason to feel hurt. this too shall pass. i just have to let it.

keep smiling and sharing. you're inspiring!
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 833
view profile
Life's Painting
Posted: 1/21/2012 6:47:28 PM
wow, I had no idea babe...much love to you. You're still blowing me away with your writing.
Joined: 11/30/2010
Msg: 834
Life's Painting
Posted: 1/27/2012 11:47:53 PM
Brizo, I'm confused :) (forgive me, please, some days it doesn't take much).. Were you talking to myself or the cookiemonster ? Either way, it's good to see your face...

I've got a couple of lame excuses for poetry that I've been scribbling on at wrk in my spare time, but I've yet to have time to get on a real computer to put them on here (I'm usually on my phone...the wrk computer blocks most web pages)
It's no coincidence, I'm sure...both writes have yet to sit well with me...I swear I feel like my brain has been rewired, lol..

Anywhoo...I'm off to do a haiku or's 3 a.m. and I'm laid up with a heating pad on my neck (ugh)

Peace out girl scouts
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 835
view profile
Life's Painting
Posted: 1/28/2012 8:36:02 PM
Oh, can' t read my mind?? lol

I went back to the beginning of the thread. I had no idea...makes you even more special.
Joined: 11/30/2010
Msg: 836
Life's Painting
Posted: 1/30/2012 2:49:54 PM
I'm not sure that I understand, no idea of...

I'm not sure that I know what makes me "super special" either, lol...I guess if hafta been on the outside looking in to get that. I almost didn't reclaim this thread when I came back, just bc so much about me has changed. Damn near's a trip how much one can change in a span of a couple of years....

Anywhoo....waiting in the doc's office...Sooo I may go and hit up the haiku thread..
Joined: 11/30/2010
Msg: 837
Life's Painting
Posted: 2/6/2012 8:39:29 PM
a little lunchtime reading today as I sat pondering my glycemic index....
(the latest round of neuralgia meds has mucked up my metabolism in a major sorta way...)

An Awkward Comparison
by: Rumi - as translated by Coleman Barks

This physical world has no two things alike.
Every comparison is awkwardly rough.

You can put a lion next to a man,
but the placing is hazardous to both.

Say the body is like this lamp.
It has to have a wick and oil. Sleep and food.
If it doesn't get those, it will die,
and it's always burning those up, trying to die.

But where is the sun in this comparison?
It rises, and the lamp's light
mixes with the day.

which is the reality, cannot be understood
with lamp and sun images. The blurring
of a plural into a unity is wrong.

No image can describe
what of our fathers and mothers,
our grandfathers and grandmothers, remains.

Language does not touch the one
who lives in each of us.
Joined: 11/30/2010
Msg: 838
Life's Painting
Posted: 2/9/2012 1:47:54 PM
just breath

when I want to scream from the pain
I remind myself again....and again...

"just breath"

(waiting in the doc's office trying to distract myself...and remind myself)
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 839
view profile
Life's Painting
Posted: 2/16/2012 4:12:30 PM
the girl with the kaleidoscope mind sighs
oneness... if only...
and the rats race round and round
while she waits at the optician's
hoping to correct her visions

that back scratch
was more like a jab
and that crack of dawn
it gets pretty dark

no doctor's prescription
can make her more
or less
who she is
Joined: 11/30/2010
Msg: 840
Life's Painting
Posted: 2/17/2012 9:51:43 AM
I adore this ^^^^
Thank you for sharing that here, cookie monster :)
Again, my mind is stuck on something...I try to write, but nothing comes out to my liking...And again, I say "I feel as though my mind has been rearranged" - I do believe that some of that can be attributed to the meds for my head (trigeminal neuralgia makes a migraine seem like child's play). I finally found one that dumbs the pain down some, and doesn't make me a complete zombie, but I'm sure it is affecting my thought processes. I don't like's disheartening, even...but the pain is much more than disheartening. So, I read more than I write & listen more than I talk nowadays. Not a bad trade I suppose, but I still wish with all my heart that I didn't NEED any medicine. Needless to say the last line of your write up there was "right on time." Again, I thank you for sharing.
It's a beautiful Friday here...I hope it's the same your way :)

A little lunchtime reading..

How Should Someone Drawn To You Act?
By: Rumi - as translated by Coleman Barks

Today we pull you back.
You swore you wouldn't come,
then you broke that vow.
Now you're keeping it again.

You give us this love.
It's the ocean that makes a flounder flounder
when it's not in the ocean.

How should someone drawn to you act?
Completely submissive.

Does that frighten you?
This pearl of silence is not for sale.
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 841
view profile
Life's Painting
Posted: 2/19/2012 10:59:06 AM
ladyfriend, i am so glad, so grateful to be useful. thank you for letting me know (i found myself a little unsure about leaving that here, mostly because i felt compelled to). and, adore is my favorite synonym of love.
you're a gift girl! sending you happy thoughts and prayers for an end to your pain.
Joined: 11/30/2010
Msg: 842
Life's Painting
Posted: 3/1/2012 6:11:40 PM
there's a difference between
puppy love and partnership -
being silent and being ill equipped
to express yourself

when someone doesn't speak
i paint them to be who i want them to be in my mind
I thought of him as poetry in motion
once upon a time.

Now..i find myself....wanting to push him.

I want to push him to say exactly what he feels.
I want to push him to step outside his comfort zone and put his hands upon the real.
I want him to tell me what he thinks
not what he thinks I want to hear.
I used to think he was being polite
now I find myself beginning to fear

the truth.

He is willing to go without saying anything
in order not to lose me...I do believe.
He is afraid to speak up,
afraid of the sides of him that I will see.

I am viscious at times,
and perhaps cold like my mother can be.
More than anything, though, as I grow...
I see my father in me.

Who paints the fine line between
narcissism and constructive concern?
Who planted within me this urge to roam
and an inability to discern

the patterns of my behavior
the distructive cycle of deceit

I do not want to hurt anyone...
and I will NEVER feel complete.

Why do the answers hurt so much?

nothing is permanent.
nothing is mine.

and there is nothing like a man
who is willing to love me all of the time.

Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 843
view profile
Life's Painting
Posted: 3/2/2012 10:56:19 AM
^ love this, ash
free-flowing thought
life's painting, indeed
Joined: 12/28/2009
Msg: 844
Life's Painting
Posted: 3/2/2012 3:36:11 PM
as their darkness invades our dull minds
sharp contrast of light continues to shine
with each brush stroke of fate
we painfully paint our destiny

tears of joy swirl inside my head
love for the 'real' I find
as the colors fade out in time
her eternal soul I continue to touch
Joined: 11/30/2010
Msg: 845
nothing to do with phoenix fire crayons....
Posted: 3/4/2012 8:59:34 AM
I am glad that you could appreciate that, Weeee :)

Erota, it's a pleasure to see you...I hope you're well.

I noticed, delerious, that you post about once a I am wondering what the qualifications are for being gifted by one of your posts. I appreciate your perspective...

Expectations are pre-meditated resentments.
Resentments leave a foul taste in my eye,

and so..
i let it go.

I love you to the moon and back.
I am eager to explore every inch of your existence.

You helped me to heal.

love me
i would love to
make love
with you

peace,love & hugs,

Joined: 11/30/2010
Msg: 846
Life's painting..
Posted: 3/8/2012 10:09:09 AM
With two that have passed and one in ICU (as a result of three completely separate incidents),this week has been one of thought, service, and remembrance...

If there is a heaven
my Pa is there.
I wonder if pa speaks more there.
I wonder if pa smiles more there.
Does he silently help the other angels rock the babies to sleep.
While we don't understand why they are taken,
they were never ours to keep.

Coffee in hand I bask in the memories of what my grandfather meant to me.
I vow, today, to soak in every ray of sun as if it were my last..
tasting the laughter within each moment and putting away the distant past.

Right now there is a Cicada crossing the grand canyon
and, somewhere, a swallow that's learning to fly
I hope the birds will visit my loved ones on the day that I die...
to remind them, as they do me, how truly beautiful this life can be.
Joined: 12/28/2009
Msg: 847
Life's painting..
Posted: 3/14/2012 7:30:38 PM
“Love is an action word”
said the girl with a hard smile
walk with me awhile
hand in hand we drift
into never never land
a dream like state embraced
watching silence swirl
'mind travels in one million directions'
time is beyond detection
quietly approaching eternity
looking back
this is what I found

grey skies sing musical joy
'moon beams dance forth'
a ray of light is born
a silhouette of youth re-birthed
softly searching
for one more dance
one last touch
we both gasp as the 'past' escapes
now is gone
now its gone

“Love is an action word”
said the girl with a hard smile
walk with me awhile
hand in hand we drift
into never never land
Joined: 12/28/2009
Msg: 848
Life's painting..
Posted: 3/16/2012 10:34:30 AM
Who is the judge?
The judge is God.
Why is he God?
Because he decides whether I win or lose, not my opponent.
Who is your opponent?
He doesn't exist.
Why does he not exist?
Because he is just a mere dissenting voice to the truth I speak.

-Melvin Tolson in 'The Great Debaters'
Joined: 11/30/2010
Msg: 849
Life's painting..
Posted: 3/16/2012 6:32:39 PM
One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies, Erota...thank you, very much, for posting that here...and for sharing a smile.

I hope this post finds you well
Joined: 11/30/2010
Msg: 850
Life's painting..
Posted: 3/24/2012 2:45:43 PM
The sun crept in slowly
through the fingers of the the fog...
but never stayed long because the rain was around.

I looked for you
on the horizon,
and in the evening,
while slipping into solitude and silence
like a hot bath after a long, hard work week.

I wonder if you read on rainy Saturday afternoons.
I wonder how a hot shower with you would be.
I wonder if I will ever touch your face...
but I am in ...

Joined: 11/30/2010
Msg: 851
Life's painting..
Posted: 3/27/2012 3:52:34 AM
"Doth not wisdom cry? And understanding put forth her voice?"
Judging from my actions one would think I did not have a choice.
Joined: 12/28/2009
Msg: 852
Life's painting..
Posted: 3/27/2012 6:29:27 PM
I'm up early this morning
had to get up
and get something
got everything I need
future's looking bright indeed

tell me
how far is forever?
thinking of something clever?
I know you are
you shine like a star

do you still
"fear to fill the silence
cause you're scared to feel the truth"

cause I see
the realness in you

just fixing my own drink
kinda makes you stop and think
hey look at that tree

I'm just a boy too
with ADD

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