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Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 26
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Get to know you questions...Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

If Jean Paul Satre and Freidrich Neitzsche got into a fight, who would win?

My money is on Sartre!
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 27
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 6/7/2008 6:37:58 AM
OOH,OOH, can I play?
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
Why sir, did you have you ear surgically attached to your zipper?
How fast do fish f*ck?
Why is a duck?

OK, stop laughing, I hadn't noticed a pattern, except that it's obvious when somebody reads your profile before they write you.

OMG, Von Erik, somebody had the major, shiny, brass whatevers to ask about your finances over the net?
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 28
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 6/7/2008 6:39:15 AM
Yesterday I felt like I was filling out an application to be a guys wife just by the questions he was asking. He started with cute banter and then when some little chemistry started going he went in for the kill. His questions were too direct. It wasnt a conversation anymore it was an interogation. I said this to him and he said it was because he wanted to know everything about me. Now I have a red flag of "needy" with him.....

Like I say dont grill me like a cheeseburger!
 The Artful Codger
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 29
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:41:47 AM

I thought it was against "the rules" to discuss such sexual issues so early in getting to know someone??
There are rules? ... Yoinks!
That explains a lot...
Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 30
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 6/7/2008 9:37:50 AM
My money is on Sartre!

Mine too, but only because I think an existentialist would be more passionate in a fight than a nihilist.

Oh, and here's another question...

How do you defend yourself against an assailant armed with a basket of raspberries?
 Von Erik
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 31
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:45:52 AM

OMG, Von Erik, somebody had the major, shiny, brass whatevers to ask about your finances over the net?

Oh no, it wasn't like that. I was just pointing that out to the OP as a no-no.

Usually the closest women get to asking about finances is asking how long I've been at the same job. 22 years in October... That usually satisfies their immediate questions about stability and financial security.

Stubblesux.... The way that guy approached it was all wrong, shouldn't be all one sided like that.

The way I was given the "survey" was really cool and very... mature.
It was a series of questions asking your opinions on various issues and situations, she sent them to me with her answers to the same questions. So it wasn't one sided or an interogation, it was mutual disclosure.
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 32
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 6/7/2008 11:30:47 AM
Sharing is caring, so here is a sample of some getting to know you questions I saved from another site. I'd be happy to email the rest if you're interested.

How do you feel about relocating for a relationship?
If I met the right person, I would do whatever I needed to do to move and be with them
I would not want to move...but if it were the only way to be together I would do it
I would not be able to move under any circumstances

Which of the following quirks would bother you most about your partner?
Uses poor grammar
Tends to cling to you in social situations
Is not familiar with current events

How often do you lose your temper?
Almost never
Once in awhile
On occasion during a week
Probably once a day on average

How trusting are you?
Sometimes I'm too naive
I trust people and am able to forgive them when wronged
I trust people until they prove me wrong, then it is hard to trust again
People are dishonest by nature, you need to be careful

Financially, how would you characterize yourself?
Very frugal and financially conservative.
Good at saving money with occasional unplanned purchases.
Adventuresome with investments and spending.
I'm responsible, but I believe in spending money to enjoy life, without too much worry about tomorrow.

When in a relationship, how much personal space do you generally need?
I don't have a great need for "personal space".
I like lots of together time.
I find time spent working is enough personal time, the rest I like to spend with my partner.
As long as I can get one night a week to myself, my personal space needs are met.
When I'm with my partner I'm completely there, but I do need considerable time for personal reflection.

When in a relationship, are you a jealous person?
I'm not the least bit jealous.
I don't consider myself jealous, but on occasion I have felt threatened.
I feel jealous every now and then.
I'm not overbearing or abusive, but I can be quite jealous.

Would you rather date someone who is:
Very busy, with a sometimes chaotic schedule, who books time with you in advance.
Busy, with a structured schedule, you know what days the person will be available for fun.
Slightly busy, who works during the day and is available most nights.
Not busy and has lots of free time.

How often do you find yourself laughing?
I crack myself up!
I try to laugh all the time and get serious only when it's needed.
Most of my time is spent being serious but I like an occasional laugh.
I'm generally a pretty serious person.

When going somewhere:
I am usually early
I am usually on time
I am usually late
I am often very late or don't show

How would you assess your verbal intimacy skills?
I am extremely comfortable talking about my innermost needs and desires.
With the exception of a couple areas, I'm comfortable being verbally intimate.
I'm still learning to be verbally intimate, but my skills are improving.
It's hard work for me to discuss my intimate feelings.

Your idea of adventure is:
Whitewater rafting
Karaoke singing
Trying a different route to work
Ordering a dish you've never tried before

Which of the following marriage issues do you fear most?
Fear of growing apart
Fear of marrying the wrong person
Fear of becoming "your parents'
Fear of being hurt

Open Questions:

Describe an interest you have that you would truly hope your partner could share with you.

How big is your extended family? What are the holidays like for you and your family?

If you had three wishes, what would they be?

They say life is about simple pleasures, what is your simplest pleasure? And how does it make you feel?

Tonight you can do anything you want, no penalties, no reprisals, cost is unimportant. What are you going to do?

What is one thing you could start doing today that would most improve the quality of your life?

What do you think the three best traits are you have to offer a partner?

Looking back on your life, of what are you most proud?

Looking back at your life, describe one particular event you wish you had handled differently?
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 33
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 6/11/2008 4:11:36 PM
Here are the 4 greatest getting to know you questions. 1. What's the greatest thing that your significant other / spouce / fiance can ever do for you. 2. What's the worst thing that a date can ever do? 3. What's the best gift someone can give you for your birthday? 4. If you were trapped on a dessert island, who would you bring with you?

Their answers are very telling if you think about it. People that don't have an answer... don't have a personality.
Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 34
view profile
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 6/11/2008 5:06:16 PM
Not too tough at all OP, thanks.

Where your questions screech to a halt (for my sake) is when they cease to be conversation and begin to resemble interrogation (that spelled right? - Damn they need to add spell-check to this app. Dummies like to look smart too).

Anyway, we all want to filter out the undesirables, and nobody needs to do this more than women. But look, once you've determined they are l;ikely someone who's company you might enjoy, it is time for a face-to-face. At the very least, a phone call. Also, I dislike the more personal questions like stuff that I share with people I know and trust.

So if you find that you've run out of "get to know you" questions, perhaps its time to s**t or get off the pot. I once teased a lady that "look, wtf are we gonna have left to talk about if we go on a date, the weather?"

Thanks for a good topic.
 9 to 9
Joined: 5/22/2008
Msg: 35
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 6/11/2008 5:43:20 PM

Well, a few sample questions that failed you ac3383, would probibly be a bit more helpful, other than a general "feeling" of asking general questions and then being generally rejected.

As for an opportunity to tell a person about yourself, thats called a Profile. ;)

After all, "getting to know a person", really only happens in person. There is no speedy solution to overcoming reservations. Trust being earned, and not granted without any conditions being met.

Now these reservations are in place for a valid reason in a digital dating enviornment. Considering for a moment that a screen, keyboard, pointing device, and a internet connection is all that's required to participate in it. Or add to the horrors of it.

Human relationships require a bit more, methinks, then a battery of probing questions and their easy answers. Regaurdless, of how craftily (and ohh so very...yawn) the questions may be posed. But if a person likes said batteries of psychometric immaturity, there is always a survey in My Space.

So to answer the question:

There is no single or complete either yes or no to what questions work. No readily available and easily digestable "be it all end it all" series of uber questions!

But I would suggest, that a question be "stand alone" in its asking. The reason being that a single question has its single answer, and rolling up many subjects into one question, phrased as one question, is a mark of too many conditions for simplicity of answer, hence proveable as so. And hence, more a matter of a relative interpretation of the assumed commonality of understanding.

For Example:

Do you have a dog?

A: yes.

I have a dog, a pygmy marsupial hampster, a rabbit, and a snake. I think their soo cool! Do you like them? I think Genetically engineered marsupials are the shite... So how much money do you make an hour?

A: Well I have to go......(insert convienent excuse)

Asking simple questions are like building a foundation for understanding, one topic at a time untill the understanding of both is a mutual foundation. The more posibility of error a person builds into any question, the less the understanding of its complete context. Or the necesity, of why one has to even answer it.

9 to 9
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 36
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 6/11/2008 5:50:38 PM
Check out my profile. That's all I've got on there... conversation starters!
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 37
view profile
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 6/11/2008 6:46:41 PM
This is a loaded question **OP** (Respectfully)

Wouldn't it depend on the individuals at hand?

You are 25, and we have no clue as to what you truly seek in your life, or it's future.

I am almost 40, so I don't really ask questions; I just act naturally and talk about me and my life and likes and dislikes, and this spawns a reciprocation to such. Usually, not many questions have to be asked.

I think maybe you're trying to gain information on a mass basis, as if time is running out. It's not. Your young, and depending on your motives and outlook and desires, I feel that anything you wish to know about a potential mate can, and inevitably will, come through rapore itself.

Otherwise, ask every first thought and curiosity that comes to mind, and if they don't like it, then many unasked questions will be answered; thus saving you the trouble and doubt.

Hope this helps...

Good Luck and God Bless,

P.S. As for questions I have been asked....It usually starts with the material. (i.e.-job, locale, rent or own, yadda yadda!)
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 38
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Get to know you questions...
Posted: 6/11/2008 11:35:30 PM
The best thing to do is ASK A MAN about HIMSELF. Any subject will do. Nothing is taboo. We wont admit this openly but most males are EGOMANIACS. Our favorite topic of conversation is not sports or politics . . . its OURSELVES!

Our views on politics,
our opinion on a daily news topic,
our way of life,
our work,
our goals in life,
our past experiences,
our ethics,
our cars,
our sports,
rrr .... its all about us!
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 39
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Get to know you questions...
Posted: 8/11/2008 9:42:02 PM
I ask this;

What lies ahead of you?
What lies beneath you?
What lies around you?
What lies behind you?
What lies beside you?
What lies above you?
What lies within you?

The answers define tiny visions of someone's entire life.
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 40
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 8/11/2008 10:00:54 PM
Depends what you mean about your level of getting to know them via email. How much? There is such thing as TMI, you know. A guy isn't going to go blabbing about how many women he's had sex with (never trust a guy or a girl on that one anyway), or thru a large *collection* of minor things he never really thought about (khakis or jeans on a Tuesday? Single, oldest, middle, or youngest child, and what is your ? what's your favorite color? what's your favorite plant? what does your dad look like? how old is your dad?).

Other than way TMI:
1. I'm sure from things I've heard from gals, there is a solid amount of guys who are aren't talkative, thus not talkative about themselves. Before meeting someone they may be this way, which adds to the amount who are just that in character.

2. Maybe it's due to conversation flow. Girls and guys won't open up if it feels like a rigid game of 20 questions. If it's not in the flow of a conversation, most people won't just respond so fruitfully, hence the wall you feel.

3. One piece of advice to guys especially, is not to give A LOT of information about you, beyond generalities. Let them know you somewhat, but not the whole you yet. Let getting to know you be a process, included within the meeting process. An element of mystery is what keeps the other person intrigued and interested. Too little can be a negative, of course.

PS: Don't expect guys on the forums to really relate to #1. If a guy posts on the forums, he's PROBABLY a talkative person.
Joined: 10/28/2006
Msg: 41
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Get to know you questions...
Posted: 8/12/2008 10:10:17 AM
What I do is, I look at the "Who Viewed Me" listing. If I see someone interesting, I'll shoot them a message saying something to the effect of "Thanks for reading my profile - what captured your interest?" That usually will get a friendly conversation going.
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 42
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 8/12/2008 10:20:49 AM
Here's one of my favorites:

"Please describe where you were at the time the crime was committed, and name at least one witness who can corroborate your statement."

Just like the aforementioned q, make 'em "open-ended" (not yes or no) questions.
Joined: 12/1/2007
Msg: 43
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 8/12/2008 3:20:58 PM
OP, I've found it very easy for people to communicate with me. All they have to do is look at my profile, and ask me about any one of the subjects listed. I throw some tidbit their way, and they relate something related. I reply. It's pretty easy.

Unfortunately, most women I've talked to here just can't do that. Either we're not in the same place intellectually, spiritually, artistically, you name it.

Don't worry about the questions. Find common ground first. The rest writes itself.
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 44
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 8/12/2008 3:31:40 PM
My thought is... if you have to come up with a list of questions, there is a problem. For one, you are making it sound like a standard job interview, and that is bad. Second... if you have to think of something to say, then you are going to have this problem forever with this person. If you are talking to someone who really likes you, and you like them, the conversation will flow.

I am dating a woman I met here on PoF, and we have NO problem communicating. We have a lot in common, we have a similar sense of humor, and we talk about dumb things, smart things, current events, our relationship, past relationships, plans for the future, our jobs... no subject is taboo, and we are genuinely interested in what each other has to say. She'll even tell me about her gardening.... I'm not interested in gardening, but I am very interested in her, and I love to hear how excited she is about pulling iris bulbs.

My suggestion... don't worry about it. Let the conversation flow. If it doesn't, consider that this person probably isn't a good fit for you.
Joined: 6/2/2008
Msg: 45
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 8/12/2008 3:42:41 PM
I've always found that you have to be subtle with your questions.So instead of asking a girl online "do you shag on first dates?". It is better to ask "will I need condoms on our first date".Trust me it works.
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 46
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 8/17/2008 6:56:36 AM
IMO i think poster 16 takes the prize and wins the giant teddybear; while poster 45 is a close second.

to the OP: you can ask the most intelligent question you like but if the guy on the other end is a moron, it won't make any difference. on the other hand, if you ask a question which may be a bit inane (e.g. "do you like stuff?") and get back a great answer, chances are you can talk with that person. conversation works both ways, so don't feel that its your questions that are making you hit walls, could be the guys you're chatting to have the conversational skills of a parrot which has watched the dave chappelle show for too long (e.g. WHAT??? WHAT??? WHAT??? YEAH!!! OK??? WHAT???)

for a bit of humor though, my dad - bless him - suggested these conversation starters when i asked a similar question:

"do you shag on first dates?"
"does your dad own a brewery?"
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 47
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 8/17/2008 7:34:09 AM
I think people just try way too hard on this site. Good luck using questions that sound like they are lifted from the HR job interview manual or lines by a failed stand up comic...
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 48
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 8/17/2008 8:29:23 AM
The question doesn't matter in the least. I teach for a living, and I am used to dealing with questions on topic, off topic, and those snored in an uneven rhythm. It is whether or not the person interacts with my answer that garners subsequent interest. If they simply go off on another tangent as though what I stated made no impact on them, then the lights should be turned out, because the party is over.

Personally, I don't thrive on superficial topics, I really like to know something about the correspondents everyday thought processes. If they tell me something about their life and their interaction with others, I am instantly focused in. I will comment back and ask questions, and tell about myself.

But you do have to get to those topics first. For me the biggest initial winner is talking to people from well out of town just asking about the climate, what life is like, and what things I value. They get a thorough response and I go from there. Again, it is not about asking the "right" question, it is interacting with my answer.
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 49
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Get to know you questions...
Posted: 8/17/2008 8:35:36 AM
I must agree with l00kingAhead: The best get-to-know-you question is "Are you free for coffee on Wednesday?"
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 50
Get to know you questions...
Posted: 8/17/2008 8:49:48 AM
Actually, those are great questions. They're fun and light and allow a little humor, which relaxes people. They're non-threatening to most people. They also allow people to be themselves and not feel the need to put on some sort of a show. You'll very quickly find yourselves letting your hair down and having a great time with those questions.

The worst questions to ask are those that are too probing, too serious, or somehow make the other person feel defensive or intimidated...recipe for making people withdraw.

I think questions like, "What do you like to do in your spare time?" can either work really well or totally backfire. If the other person has the usual sports, etc. interests, it's a great question. If the other person has unusual (not bad, but not the usual, either) interests, you might just find the other person getting uptight and withdrawn.

In any event, try not to make people feel as though they're on an interview. Best to stick to fun, innocuous questions such as those Artful has suggested. Keep in mind, the answers to the more serious questions will surface over time anyway. In the interim, have fun!
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