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 CountIbli
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 125
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?Page 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I've had a little bit of success with the techniques but could never be bothered to devote my life to it. Mostly I've just experimented a bit with the techniques. For example, one night I was out with my buddy and these 4 girls started hitting on us. I realized pretty quickly that they were just being c0ck teasers, but my buddy had no clue. He did the standard AFC stuff like buying them drinks. I used neg hits and made out with three of them while he sat there with a sour look on his face.

Another time at training for a job I started mimicing this woman (the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, in fact) from across the room and a little while later she came up to me and started talking to me.

Another time at work this new employee came in and was really upset. She just moved to the area and got lost driving, hated the job, blah blah blah. So I talked to her and asked questions designed to lead her to a positive state of mind (what kind of work did she want to do, what she liked about it, etc.). Every time I got he in a good mood this guy we were working with inadvertanly c0ck-blocked me by saying something that put her back into a foul mood.

For the most part these techniques are just methods for building rapport. For some guys it comes naturally. Other guys pick it up as they go. For a lot of guys we need to be taught this stuff because just being ourselves has totally flopped.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 126
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Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 11/6/2009 11:07:33 AM

What I find amusing is the number of women who are absolutely revolted by the thought of men studying anything that might alter the power equation.

Tell the truth man...tell it.
That is IT as far as I'm concerned. Heaven forbid men should get tools that give them and edge, or at least make things more level, in ordinary heterosexual interactions.

Old greek tale of Hera the wife of Zeus sending some minor diety down to earth on a mission to find out which sex had the better pleasures from lovemaking. He appeared as a man and again as a woman and after experiencing lovemaking as both, returned to Mount Olympus to report his findings. He reported that it was the woman. He was immediately struck dumb and blind by Hera so that he would never again repeat his findings. Greek Mythology had it nailed.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 127
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Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:33:50 PM
tuffluv : Thanks now I got the drift.
When I was young and a dancer getting into show biz, all kinds of men hits on me,you name it, all the kind of men in the book....

But I am the one who hits the guy I want to go out with, to be seen with him. At that time money is not a problem for a guy,they would be happy to take you to any 5 star restaurant for prestige. When I was on break in a club,I just sit down sipping my water colored with a dashed of coca cola,,,, 2 waiters are on my payroll discreetly ,to talk to a guy ,flagging me that I am a nice girl lalalala, so a single rose or a drink will sent to me. And comes the introduction and chatting, I was shy ,charming and have sense of humor.. Maybe that is my mystery method. Some of my co dancer beautiful girls are fuming with anger ,why a gorgeous hunk man would want to date a dumb horseface like me,lol. When they flirt high to heaven and even buy the guy's drinks and those guys are not enterested...
 ToughLuv1984
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 128
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:53:13 PM
Damas, I'm not revolted by guys learning social skills. About time they did. Its like the force though... can be used for good or evil.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 129
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Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:34:58 PM
^^^^ I saw your earlier posts, you're one of the few women who get what the skills are alll about.
 ToughLuv1984
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 130
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 11/6/2009 3:10:34 PM
Right, they are to even the scales between guys who are so smokin' hot women throw themselves at their feet with the guys who perpetually get no love. Even Neil Strauss on an interview on the red carpet said.... this book is for the nerds and the dweebs who need that leg up.

Being playfully negged by a guy who is slightly dorky himself is waaaay different than being negged by someone who clearly could be in a GQ magazine. One is funny and flirty...the other makes you wanna go home and cry.
 soaringangel86
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 131
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 9/5/2011 1:14:06 PM
Sweetthang100

While I agree that certain personality types may be prone to abuse these methods, that can be said about anything. Some people just shouldn't drink excessively because they do stupid things.

But to bash the use of these methods because you think it's damaging to relationships and women only shows your own ignorance. Many of these methods employ respect, kindness and caring behavior they expect the men to use for the rest of their lives, so if used properly, relationships can remain just fine.

It's incredibly insensitive for you to condemn men who use these techniques. You have absolutely no idea what it's like to be a male in a dog eat dog competitive society where women's standards are seemingly sky rocketing with each decade. When someone uses the same method for trying to achieve something over and over again and has ZERO success, they improvise or innovate by using new and in this case PROVEN methods. It's called adaptation. I will argue tooth and nail with any woman who condemns using these methods because they don't ever need to use things like these. Have some empathy for god's sake.
 soaringangel86
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 132
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 9/5/2011 1:18:02 PM
baviaans kloof

That died along with romance and chivalry. The idiot creeper guys have transformed the judgmental women into paranoids. Sometimes I wish I lived in a family or culture where there were just arranged marriages.
 soaringangel86
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 133
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 9/5/2011 1:26:52 PM
eazk.

Well put. You are my hero. My father NEVER taught me one thing about how to be a man. And certainly the media is no help either. When someone grows up around so many conflicting and non-substantial outside forces that don't give them the slightest insight as to how to become a human being and self-actuallized, how the hell are they suppose to learn? Being myself= zero success. Using proven methods and only slightly modifying my behavior=well , we will see soon....
 lilaflower912
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 134
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 9/5/2011 1:27:41 PM
I try to be myself as much as possible on a date. I figure the "real" me is going to shine through eventually, so why not from the get-go?? If they don't like who you really are, then it's best you know that from the start. For me, it's a HUGE turnoff when I feel like I'm being "worked" by a guy and told lines that he's said to a hundred girls.

Talk about making you feel cheap, and I'm sure guys probably feel the same if the opposite was true.
 soaringangel86
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 135
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 9/5/2011 1:46:22 PM
life of leisure.
I only wish there were books like these for women!

They're on ever grocery store magazine checkout rack: just look like a million dollars, wait for the bees to buzz on in, then just be yourself and react however you feel like at the moment. I thought every girl learned this before leaving junior high.

You just contradicted yourself completely. If only looking good and being myself worked for me. As long as women are attractive physically, I will talk to any of them and give them a chance to show me their personality. I think most men are the same way. I don't mean to bite your head off for your post, but you have to admit that there is a REASON there is ONLY material and literature about attracting women for men. In society, men are at such a disadvantage in the dating realm that many have to go almost their entire lives waiting for someone to FINALLY give him the time of day. I say F*ck that!
 pinkoleander
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 136
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 9/5/2011 1:58:33 PM

life of leisure.
I only wish there were books like these for women!

There are. They're called Cosmo magazine and they're as ridiculous as those men's books.
 soaringangel86
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 137
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 9/5/2011 2:01:31 PM
lilaflower912.

Wrong once again. You women just keep doing it!
The methods are designed to bring out the inner confidence that all men have. It's just that some were never taught how to bring that out, or are sadly, completely unaware of it. Women constantly say how confidence is key, so don't even tell me that that's not true.
 lilaflower912
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 138
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 9/5/2011 2:09:38 PM
I agree!! Cosmo was one a magazine I read when I was younger, but as you mature you realize how vapid and stupid it is. It makes women think that if they look sexy and are good in bed then they can have a long lasting relationship. BULL!!!

I feel like it totally doesn't give women OR men credit. That may be a guy's dream for awhile but most guys learn, as women do, that looks aren't everything, and good sex is great, but it's best when it's with someone you actually want around and care about. JMHO:)
 lilaflower912
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 139
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 9/5/2011 2:29:11 PM
Oh my goodness, Soaringangel!!! I never said there was anything wrong with confidence. I just said that I don't like feeling "worked over". It is a HUGE turnoff, and I'm fully entitled to feel that way.

I've actually had guys using methods and lines that they thought would work on a girl right next to me, then turn around and see them using them on me. One thing that people that feel the need to use those lines and methods need to realize is that you will get MUCH farther with a girl if you genuinely make them feel one in a million rather than one OF a million.

Bottom line: Confidence is sexy, absolutely, and if you need "methods" to give you any type of confidence, more power to ya.
 TheWonderingGuy
Joined: 4/30/2011
Msg: 140
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 9/5/2011 3:01:37 PM
"It makes women think that if they look sexy and are good in bed then they can have a long lasting relationship. BULL!!!"

Actually that's true the problem is most women who read that stuff throw themselves at narcissistic/psychotic guys and then wonder why they don't turn into good husbands.

Pickup artist stuff, Cosmo is all interesting (there is certainly some psychology in there) but you have to use that knowledge in a practical manner.
 lilaflower912
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 141
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 9/5/2011 4:22:14 PM
I agree, Hoopski! I myself have read ebooks on dating that I feel like have really helped me in my dating life and helped me see what I was doing to contribute to my dates that didn't go well. As good as the info is, you have to take it with a grain of salt and realize that isn't the answer to everything and also realize that the books aren't the end all-be-all. As well as the fact that everyone isn't going to respond to the same one method in the same way. You also have to realize those "dating gurus" aren't there to be your best buddy, they are there to make money, lol!!
 Implications
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 142
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 9/5/2011 4:30:55 PM
This stuff is a real mixed bag.

"Cocky and Funny" should just be "confident and good sense of humour", which is already what women tell us to work on whenever we ask anyways. The problem from a salesman's point of view is that you can find advice on that stuff without buying his product, and that's why you see them all claiming that they've got a refinement that's a magic key that nobody else has ever figured out that will guarantee nearly-magical results. Order now!

You should engage her like a woman rather than one of your guy friends if you want sexual tension and chemistry, but you don't need to adopt a persona or use routines to do it. Have the balls to let it be obvious to her that you're interested by your words and behavior, and just have fun. The actual good advice you can get from this stuff can all be found for free in dating articles, so just read those.

My friend's old coworker was right into this stuff, and even went to a couple seminars. I saw it in action and was not at all impressed. We went to a club in Toronto and these guys from the seminar were doing some seriously weird stuff based on these theories, and it was painfully obvious that the women were NOT becoming more attracted because of it.

They told them to go up to girls sideways because an alpha is sparing with his attention. Alpha doesn't lean to hear what female say, so alpha stay standing aloof no matter what. It was all stuff like that; things that they rationalised out of what an alpha does or doesn't do turned into a concrete doctrine that in practice is as ridiculous as it sounds.

What a surprise, the women would often look at these guys weird whenever they did this stuff. The one who was an assistant guru or whatever could get them to come closer for him so they could hear each other, but the man was very good looking. It was hilarious to hear these guys ooh and aah at how well "the material was working" when it was obvious to me and my friend that these girls were attracted to him as soon as he met them. I saw nothing that made these techniques seem even equally as good as what anyone else hitting on girls in the club were doing.

I can't resist telling the story of one of these guys. He was a pudgy, somewhat short and slightly balding guy from Bangladesh or something, and he even looked pretty creepy to the naked eye. I named him The Ghoul. He had a personality to match too. He was so excited to try some hypnotic stuff that was supposed to reverse his fortunes when the girls didn't like him that it left a really bad taste in our mouths. He gave the impression of being eager to mind control a girl into rape if she wasn't attracted to him.

Me and my friend ended up ignoring the other guys and just following The Ghoul around while we got drunk, and laughing at his disasters. The best one was a group of three girls near the bar. These guys were told to ignore the girl they want and chat up her friends first, but to throw in these "negs" to "remove her shield" for when he goes for her. The example they gave to me was to tell them they have nice nails, but then ask if they're real. Supposedly this will make them insecure and wanting to get with the alpha to regain her esteem.

The Ghoul walks in there and starts saying whatever routine to them, and they just kinda looked at each other like they can't believe what they're seeing. I imagine that women feel vaguely insulted when a guy like The Ghoul comes to chat them up, because it implies that he thinks they're in his league. He tried a little stronger, and I really got the impression that they didn't quite know what to make of this guy. I guess that The Ghoul figured that it was time for a neg, so what I found out later is that he told the one he liked that her outfit was cheap.



OMG, I've never seen a girl snap like that. She went NOVA and went at him like she was going to kick him right in the balls, and The Ghoul had to scurry away quick! I can usually avoid spilling my beer when I laugh, but I was roaring and spilt plenty!

Wow, it was epic. Not surprisingly, The Ghoul called it a night.

I don't know about the specific methods mentioned in this thread, but I'd recommend against sending a single penny to these guys until you've seen proof that the method works like advertised. These salesmen are getting rich off of guys like The Ghoul who want SO BAD to believe that they're just a seminar or two away from getting the prettiest girl in the club to allow his cheeto-stained fingers to slither up her thigh. They're not, trust me.
 lilaflower912
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 143
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 9/5/2011 5:32:08 PM
OMG implications!!! That's TOO funny!! Ya know what, if you watch The Ghost of Girlfriends Past, that's the exact same kind of dating advice Kirt Douglas gave Matthew Mconnahay as a boy. The advice about approaching the girl you like's friends instead of her and insulting the girl in an indirect way to get her to want to prove herself to you is PRECISELY what he was told to do. Wonder if they just watched the movie and developed a whole "system" for it?? lol!! No, I know that ideology has been around alot longer than the movie:)
 maryjay51
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 144
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 9/7/2011 10:23:23 AM
Heck no.. I am just me on a date. You get what you get . I am not that desperate for a relationship to not be myself and I can read through the art of bulls%$%t like no other. So if I notice something odd about a fella I am dating and he seems like a chapter in a book then its adios.
 lateef7842
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 145
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Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 9/12/2011 12:50:00 PM
I think these techniques are effective if used correctly. There was a guy I know who isn't good looking, has a very gruff manor and doesn't have money. As long as I've known him he always had very good looking girlfriends.

He would always treat women like they weren't all that. They could not get enough of him. So, I think there is some validity to what these "gurus" teach. The problem is now that it's such a fad most women can spot a pick up artist mile away.

The key is to incorporate what you learn into your personality. Always be yourself and let what you learn augment that.

I've heard them teach about "peacocking." That's where you wear something out of the ordinary that brings attention to yourself. I can tell you from personal experience that works.

I don't do it on purpose. See, I use a wheelchair. And since I've used a wheelchair there is no end to women who open up conversations with me about the wheelchair. I guess you could say I'm pea-cocking. Especially, if I go to a club. I just park next to the dance floor (I do this because I still like to dance and watch people dance) and sooner or later some girl is pulling me out to the dance floor or flat out trying to give me a lap dance. I get phone numbers offered to me. I don't even have to ask.

So, I think there is something a man can use to improve his chances with women. He just has to understand it's not a one size fits all type of thing. He should go with what works with his personality.
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