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 AnnudderVoice
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 9
If you think so poorly of womenPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Funny...I got an e-mail from a woman asking why a popular guy like me (after all, I have all of 42 members who have made me a "favorite"... :rolleyes) I was on this site at all, why I had poetry on my profile, and why I wasn't living large in the real world...

gawd...

Of course she was a newbie, has never contacted me before, knows nothing about me and states that she will only be on the site for a week before leaving to live it up in her "real" world...

Yes, sometimes this place is real entertaining...

Painting with a broad brush tends to splatter everyone, including yourself.

Annudder
 Outta_Vogue
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 11
If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:17:32 PM
They're probably looking for a lady who can prove them wrong.
 crayonzz
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 12
If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:25:01 PM
Poorly of women.??

Have another read of ALL the forums. A woman has one bad experience, or not so bad experience, with one solitary man, comes into this site genuinely believing that ALL men are like her ex, and then wonders whats happening when she is told what things are really like.
 creativedisco
Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 14
If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:00:14 PM
I can't really say anything that probably hasn't already been said. I think the main thing, though, is that you can't just lump everybody into one category. Not all of us think poorly of women. Even those of us who might post those "is it all about sex" stuff are probably just letting out some frustration and aggression.

I mean, come on now. You mean to tell me that you've never gotten angry with someone (or a group of people) and said some things that you didn't necessarily mean to say?

That, and I've noticed myself that not everybody who is on this site participates in the forums. The profiles usually show the most recent forum posts that a person has made, and it seems to me that very few of the women that I've seen that have profiles here actually use the forums. The same is probably true with the guys. So what you're seeing here isn't even a representative sample of POF anyway.
 soaringangel86
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 17
If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:13:48 PM
Alex89, you have said exactly what I have been thinking, but you have summed it up clearer, and more concise than I could ever hope to! What is funny is that people whill actually create threads bashing the bashers, wherein they become the the people they so callously refer to as "Whiners". I think it is unfair to make assumptions on an entire gender based only on a few experiences, but everyone get's a little heartbroken, lonely or frustrated, and everyone is entitled to a little venting now and then. Who is anyone to judge those who complain every now and then? After all, after years of dating experience and personality digging and searching, people begin to know what NOT to look for. When those things keep repeatedly coming up, one can't blame them for pointing it out every so often.
 *Bulldog*
Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 26
If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:14:37 PM
People who do not have an "axe to grind" tend to use forums as a source of entertainment and stay out of the types of bashing threads because after being in forums for awhile you learn that no matter what you say to a person who thinks like this you will never get through. I gave up even trying now. I don't post in those types of threads and when I see one getting out of hand that I might have posted in I don't go back anymore. There is nothing you can say to people that act like that.


Are you guys for real?

Someone asked a question and she got some honest answers. Thread got deleted.

Then there's about 10 nice guy threads every day and all the girls roll their eyes.

Which way do you want it?

Most men have been emasculated and can no longer function as real men. Heck they can't even give their opinions online without girls calling in law enforcement. Yet in the real world, women do not want these weak types. And when nice guys whine, all girls can do is look in digust and call up their neighborhood player.

The "is it all about sex" thread was a forum, in part, to justify and explain the actions of many men, but also for "nice guys" to learn how to become real men and develop a healthy perspective on women. For far too long they've been led astray by girls, and the media who tells them to act like girls. That's not bitterness. It's reality.
 *Bulldog*
Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 29
If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 11:04:41 PM

Desertbulldog, you know that you are one of those I would consider bitter. Your idea of a healthy perspective on women is one that seems to lump all of them into this category of completly useless.


How thinking a girl should contribute equally in a relationship, and observing that they rarely do, is bitterness or anger is beyond me. That was as objective and as honest an answer that you'll get on these forums. That thread wasn't about me, nor did I bring up any of my past experiences in any way, so I think you're barking up the wrong tree.
 *Bulldog*
Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 34
If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/9/2008 10:40:23 AM

A man with a negative attitude towards women will compete to have sex with a woman for an achievement and once this is done he will notch it up and move on - they are called players. I know there are some women who purport to be players! I don't believe there can be many who sleep around and bonk without involving their heart - this is something some men seem quite able to do, without any sort of conscience. Cue heartbreak for the woman who is probably hoping that sex might mean wonderful love ahead. It happens all the time, I read about it here virtually every day.


What you call girls "involving their heart" merely means she has a high level of interest in a guy. As soon as he does something to turn you off (any sort of nice guy act), their interest level falls and will be looking for something better. It's not a conscious decision.. just evolution. In any case, that's not love.. least as I understand the term.

Male players are actually a very, very, very small % of guys. Since these are typically the guys that the same girls fall for time and time again (their high level of confidence and brashness stand out, mimicing qualities found in real men), girls actually think they are everywhere. But they are not. Most guys (nice guys, shy guys, et al.) can't get with women at all. By contrast, there is no category of girls that don't get men on a consistent basis.
 YourDarkAngel
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 37
If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:30:29 PM

I believe that you are furious. I am certainly NOT interested in Mothering anyone except my own children - but do you think that this attitude helps or hinders in getting you a date?


That's funny.

A man expresses his opinion, and since you don't like it, it's suddenly an angry diatribe. I wonder if a woman had expressed the same sentiment about men with the same mind set against men, if you would have deemed it as righteous indignance towards misogynists or something.

BTW, many really fury-filled men get female attention, and it certainly doesn't prevent them from getting dates, getting married, having sex, or procreating, or your implication that someone's bad attitude would be a hindrance is false. Sure those situations are unhealthy; quick reality dose here--there's a lot of them, and it's not a one-way street, either.

Speaking of mothering, it seems many women are attracted to men for qualities they eventually want to change and even eventually emasculate them over time, and turn around to complain about how he's a dull guy that isn't exciting anymore. This is one thing that men learn to resist over time and are hesitant to get involved with women beyond sexual congress; being told what to do in relationships and when women refuse to change their own lifestyles and habits because that would be a hallmark of a "controlling man" and "you don't tell me what to do!" Pure hypocrisy. Who wants to deal with a partner like that? Better to be single and proud.


The anger on some profiles is virtually tangible in some cases. Yes I have read your profile fully!


And you probably have ESP and read his aura from miles away on this guy, too, right?


BTW. Preta, here's my brutal honesty if you can handle it without flipping out: the pro-feminist tonality and the victimcard pulling is f---king annoying. You would convince others more easily by toning it down a notch.
 ExplosiveSheep
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 38
If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/10/2008 3:43:51 AM
Since ultimately I'm only lookin for 1 woman, no matter what wild accusation I may feel is necessary to throw out there against the "fairer" sex, it's likely that there's an exception to it. Venting makes us all feel better, no matter what we say, most of us probably still hold the hope that there women out there worth a damn in our opinion. Lets face it, I doubt most women find the majority of men up to snuff neither.

As an example, I've found that while women call men shallow, women are willing to accept unemployed clincically depressed men that smoke excessive ammounts of weed as viable dating opertunities before dating someone with a gut like myeslf because (and this is a real scenario) the afore mentioned guy is "so hot, he's like naturally athletic looking, soooo hot." He hasn't done a sit up in 3 months and still has the makings of a 6-pack.

I ain't saying I think women should be dating me and my work in progress belly, but it irked me to find out just how shallow someone who claimed men are fixated on looks can be. I've seen it more often than not, that's why I find it refreshing to see women that say "I put work into my body, I'd hope he does the same." or "I won the genetic lottery is it that much to ask that I'm lookin for another lucky **stard?" It's honest, they're an exception to the rule though.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 44
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History
If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/10/2008 5:30:25 PM
I think it's good to bear in mind that when anyone's talking about experiences with the opposite gender it's a very select (and probably very small) group of men/women and not representative of the men/women on the site.

Depending on what search parameters someone uses, there are likely limits - distance, age, etc. I'm not sure what the newest figures are on the membership I do know that it's in the millions. So heck, even 500 wouldn't be a dink in a bucket.

So before you take a presumptive leap to extrapolate from talking to a "select few" and draw conclusions, it IS just those men/women not every single man/woman here.
 AndalusiaJoey
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 46
If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/10/2008 6:06:16 PM
Of course, Desertbulldog, you know that you are one of those I would consider bitter.
Why is it so important to stick a label on a person who makes a statement? I've noticed this trait and I think it is a short-sight thing to do, for it frames thought about a probably very complex person. Maybe this person has many interesting characteristics and positive traits and you dismiss them with the wave of a hand because you have submitted the verdict that he is "bitter."
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 51
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History
If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/10/2008 9:58:44 PM

Therefore on a date, as a progressive male with some sense of self-worth, I kind of think it's natural to expect the lady to "plead her case" as well: i.e. why is she worth MY time and attention?


Well said. I've been on too many dates where it was a job interview and just about as fun.

When I asked questions or tried for -conversation- my date would brush it away and go on to her next question. Probably more aggravating for me than most people because I'm not a question-and-answer type person. I prefer conversation. People will tell me far more and be far more honest in regular conversation and all I have to do is listen and pay attention to learn everything I want to know.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 52
If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/10/2008 10:42:08 PM
I don't think poorly of women. I love women, the majority of my friends are women. Young and old. But I hate generalizations and double standards no matter if it comes from a OP if it is a male or female.

I do think that this thread has mentioned a huge double standard with posting. Not saying you the OP but in general. When a woman on these threads post opinions wither it is good or bad of the current subject. If the other person agrees with them its "all good" but if the person doesn't they throw out "blame cards." Blaming a past person for making them that way and nothing will change them. But if the man says the same exact thing he is whinny.

Let me give you the older man/younger woman vs older woman/younger man example. A man posts that he is 35 dating a 25 year old woman. He gets bashed from post one. Saying that its too much of an age difference and this and that. But if a woman posts the exact same thing that she is 35 going with a 25 year old man. She gets the "you go girl" or "my hero" posts. And if another poster points out that its just as wrong for her as it is for him you get the "men do it too" thing.

So that is why I'm not "scared" when I post because I just don't care if you agree with me as long as you respect me. If you get personal though I will go punch for punch with the person though (figuratively not literally).

But over all I call most "PEOPLE" not just men or just women but "PEOPLE"

Best of luck to everyone
 namebob5
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 54
If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:09:49 AM
As far as discussions go, you have to understand how men communicate. We won't sit and babble about the cute things we did and how we just "feel" this girl is the right one or ask a multitude of men before we decide on anything.

Its criticism and somewhat constructive, we are mostly going to chat about what needs fixing or what needs work. So to a woman or some men, it might come across as negative, but its not. Even all of my sarcastic/short responses (go to my portrait and click history) I still don't hold any angst towards 95% of women.
 borntoski683
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 55
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History
If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/14/2008 9:37:40 PM
Well, I think its important to recognize that marriage, love and dating in america is pretty screwed up right now. Its not a matter of men being jerks or women being the female equiv. The simple fact is that its all screwed up and there are a lot of frustrated, lonely people out there. The object of their affection is difficult to obtain and this can bring out all kinds of frustration about members of the opposite sex....the VERY thing they really wish from the beginning they could find for themselves and seem to be struggling at it.

Men and women ARE behaving badly all over the place. There is an endless supply of things to point out that are going to sound like gender bias. It doesn't make these observations wrong by the way, but by the very nature of us all being either man or woman, its going to at least be perceived by others as bias, hate, sexism, etc.
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