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Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 490
Your Pet or YourRelationship?Page 20 of 35    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
I like Pets more than most people. So the pet stays.
Joined: 1/16/2007
Msg: 491
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 12/27/2008 7:12:50 PM
I agree ! The pet would stay. I am allergic to cats but if someone I dated had one I would not expect them to give it up for me.
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 494
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 12/31/2008 5:46:37 PM
You should tell them in the beginning you have a pet and if they cant be around them for whatever reason then its best not to even start something.....I know I wouldnt give up my dog....that would be like giving up a child....
Joined: 10/12/2008
Msg: 496
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 1/1/2009 6:28:41 AM
Id pick my pet turtle hes been around not
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 504
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 1/4/2009 10:07:39 PM
Wow... this pet forum comes alive again!
What can I add?
I know I posted before so here's more 2 cents: (by now, I may be approaching a half dollar)

When we adopt animals from a shelter, I know here, the shelter does have us sign a form which does acknowledge that we take responsibility for the animal, that this is a living creature with physical and mental needs and not an object or disposable toy... that we acknowledge of our sound mind that must do our utmost to make the animal's life good... etc... We sign and initial that we know and understand all this.
So if someone demands you get rid of your pet? Isn't almost asking you to break this form that we signed? Is it just short of violating a contract? What lover would ask that you ignore what you just signed?
I'll tell you what kind.
the inconsiderate kind.
the kind that won't stop with just your pet, kind.
the kind that will place more and more demands until you crack, kind.
Allergies can be used as a poor excuse.
It's what you do about it that tells you what kind of a person that person is. If they use the allergy as an excuse and a crutch to get what they want, then it's not good. If on the other hand, you see they make every effort, take every medicine or just vacuum like crazy, then these are signs they are willing to work with you with your pet.
there have been people live together who worked out pet free rooms in the past. It's possible to keep the pet and have your lover.
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 514
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 1/15/2009 8:06:28 AM
I wouldn't want to be with anyone who would ask me to do that.
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 524
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 2/21/2009 5:47:37 PM
Lucky for me, I'm in a relationship and it happens to be with my cats, so the problem has never come up......No, it's just not that kind of relationship. Shame on you for that having even crossed your mind.
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 534
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 3/15/2009 11:11:16 AM
They aren't humans or children, but my 2 cats are still loved and I would NOT give them up for any reason. Obviously anyone who'd think I should is NOT for me.
Joined: 2/28/2005
Msg: 536
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 3/17/2009 9:07:43 AM
I wouldn't diss my cat for any woman. Simple reason - my cat is more loyal than any woman!
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 537
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 3/17/2009 2:28:09 PM
If my cat and I will last longer than the relationship,I think I will give up the mate and keep my cat...My cat will not cheat on me for sure..
Joined: 4/18/2007
Msg: 547
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 3/20/2009 7:08:13 PM
A relationship can last a lifetime.I'm allergic to cats.My last girlfriend had a cat.I'd send the cat on his way.
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 548
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 3/20/2009 7:13:10 PM
If someone has an issue w/ my dog.......then they shouldn't ask me out to start with!
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 551
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 3/20/2009 7:23:16 PM
Many of my friends are attached to their cats to the point of obsession. A redhead bud had three of hers on IV's for an entire year, changing tubes twice a day. My sis in law kept her dog alive for a year after it suffered serious brain damage and could not move or even cough. They exercised it in a padded sling hanging from an engine hoist.
I'd never let my pup go - but without allergies myself its difficult to know what sort of trouble the furry thing is. He's definitely not always wanted in bed.
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 552
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 3/20/2009 8:46:02 PM
No way in west hell would I give up my big,bouncy, baby tortie for ANYONE! she has been there for me no matter what and loving me like no other. Sorry but fe fe stays!
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 559
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 5/20/2009 7:18:14 AM
Unfortunately for the dude, I would say no. My pets won't leave me for another woman(loyalty). My male cat is 11yrs old. I am the only one he wants to be with.

All his life he's been with me. Some animal shelter would kill all 3 cause they are older(though healthy) My pit mix and my female cat are 7 yrs old.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 561
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 5/20/2009 9:29:56 AM
I love my cats, and they love me, and show me everyday. Everytime I walk in the door, they are there. Unconditional love. Hard to find that with a mate. The cats stay. This is their house too.

BFK Honey, Molasses, Sunny, Blondie, Marilyn, Gidget,
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 562
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 5/20/2009 9:31:42 AM
sorry, those were ideas of names for sugar
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 566
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 5/20/2009 2:00:27 PM
Once I got a dog, I got rid of my ex wife. The dog was far more affectionate and loyal. Besides, the dog didn't like my ex much either.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 570
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 5/20/2009 4:54:01 PM
Good question OP, but is the boyfriend truly allergic to the cat or just faining an allergy because he is jealous of how much attention she gives her cat?

Personally, I wouldn't get involved with anyone that didn't enjoy my pet. My pets have been with me longer than any man ever has. You could say it is a matter of seniority..........the pet stays
Joined: 12/19/2008
Msg: 575
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 5/25/2009 7:47:01 AM
I've looked at most of the posts on this topic, and it's interesting to note that most of the women come down on the side of the pet while while many of the men are "for" the human...

***(Well, except for me and three other guys)***

For me, having a pet is as much a "committed" relationship as ANY other regardless of any issues that someone I meet may have. I've had my dog since the day I left the ex, and she's been there for me through some very rough times. As many here have already said, there is something about the "unconditional love" that a pet gives to us that can be so comforting and soothing and even a source of stability in this crazy world we live in.
Maybe it's the idea that the love our pets give to us at least seems so unconditional, with nothing expected in return, that gives us a feeling that in many instances is simply not available to us in a "human" relationship. Especially when you're alone, there's also the idea and feeling of simply being "needed", even if it's "just" for your pet, and this too is something I feel we all need as well.
So after all I feel that she has given me, NO, I would never give her up, not for anyone, any reason or any thing !

Having said that, I'd also have concerns with someone who'd consider giving up a pet, especially one that I felt they loved ~ even if it was "for me". First of course there would be the "guilt" factor, but then there would also be my feelings (see above) about a committed relationship, and my thought would be that if something she "loves" is so "disposable" , then just how reliable IS her commitment ?

The shelters and streets are full of pets that were considered "disposable" , and sadly many of them are there because they interfered with someone's relationship.

That is one problem that I would hope we all never to contribute to .....

**On a lighter note for us dog lovers ~

As I said I got Prairie the day I left the ex, long story...
I think this is hilarious, (well maybe a little heinous) and maybe there's a "dogshrink" out there that can explain this for me.
Prairie had always been an "outside" dog, and when I brought her home I'd planned on putting in a dog door so she could go outside when she wanted. As it turned out she adapted perfectly, has never had an "accident" in the house and always lets me know when she wants to go out. Even on a couple of occasions when I've been gone for up to about 16 hours (!) , NEVER in the house ! I've even had her boarded a couple of times and they were amazed that she refused to "go" in her kennel, and would wait to be taken outside.
So here's the thing, whenever we go to my stbex's she'll find some way to sneak around and ummm "mark" someplace when she thinks nobody's watching. Then she'll come back to me and sit, quietly thumping her tail on the floor. Maybe it's just me, but I'd swear that she looks just REAL pleased with herself !
Joined: 12/19/2008
Msg: 577
Really ?
Posted: 5/25/2009 11:52:35 AM
"Being neither a pet owner, nor an animal lover, I am always fascinated at how people assign human qualities and characteristics to animals.

"My dog loves me and listens to me".

Your dog doesn't love YOU...your dog "loves" anybody who would / does feed and care for it. Stop doing so tomorrow and in short order you will be replaced by the person who takes over. Hence, pets can be "given away".

You dog also doesn't understand spoken language. It understands commands. It can in fact empathize. But it doesn't understand you anymore than an infant would (and in fact, the dog loses in this contest)."

"Being neither a pet owner, nor an animal lover...."

Pretty much says it all, don't it ?
What fascinates me is how on earth someone with a "Masters Degree" could have so little knowledge about dogs, or their interactions with the human species. By your apparent definition of "love" nothing and nobody on this earth is capable of "loving" anyone or anything. If you'll check, you'll find that this has been studied, extensively, and that dogs
(and many other pets) are quite capable of feeling ~ and showing ~ all of the emotions and responses that we consider the hallmarks of "love". And this is not simply a matter of "assigning human qualities and characteristics to animals".
"You dog also doesn't understand spoken language. It understands commands. It can in fact empathize. But it doesn't understand you anymore than an infant would (and in fact, the dog loses in this contest).""
Semantics... In fact many dogs do understand not only the spoken word, but will also respond appropriately to not only the word itself but the tone and inflection in which it is spoken. Show me the "infant" that is capable of that.

Hey, if you don't like dogs, you don't like dogs !
But to infer that everyone else who does is somehow beyond stupid, and to do so with an argument that lacks even basic research is just a tad bit insulting....

"I have also never understood this thing where people feel like some person is "the one", and accordingly will modify their life to accommodate. To my thinking, one of the requirements of a person being "the one" is that they fit into your current life without much in the way of customization on either part.

Then again, I think the entire concept of "the one" is pretty damn stupid. 7.5 billion people on this planet, and not only is there but one you are supposed to be with, but you just happened to have met them.

And they are allergic to cats.

Ahhh....the delicious irony."

The last part is actually quite simple. People do find "the one" ~ FOR THEM !
Kinda' narrows the odds just a bit.
Apparently, this seems to work for most of the population, both on a planetary scale, and seemingly for (pick a number) of millions of years. If it really were "pretty damn stupid" , I'm thinkin' there just might not be "7.5 billion people on this planet" !
Ahhh....the delicious irony."

Joined: 12/19/2008
Msg: 582
Ummm, yeah...
Posted: 5/27/2009 9:21:06 PM
Your own words, again...

"It can in fact empathize."

em·pa·thy ~
1: the imaginative projection of a subjective state into an object so that the object appears to be infused with it.
2: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner ; also : the capacity for this.

imaginative projection/ understanding, being aware of / being sensitive to /
Heaven's NO !!! FROM A PET ?????

"Would they be able to have the same affection for anyone else that they have for you? And the converse?"

Talk to anyone who has ever worked at a shelter, or given away a pet that didn't "adjust to their new homes without issue the vast majority of the time" , (something else that you'll find you're totally wrong about) , and ask them about the pets who had to be put down because they developed "issues" such as uncontrollable behavioral problems, separation anxiety, or depression, just to name a few.
In other words, the exact "issues" that many children develop when given up for adoption !

Just one definition of "Love" :
•A strong positive emotion of regard and affection.
One of "Loyalty": .A feeling or attitude of devoted attachment and affection.

"That is love. A wholly unique relationship between two HUMAN BEINGS that cannot be replaced by something else."

*I'm going to try NOT to think of the level of insecurity it takes to make a comment like this . *

So, here you are saying that not only can my pet NOT love me, but that that it is ALSO impossible for ME to love my pet !

Actual Research...
*Not that you'd want to hear it...

"Canine Cognition Lab" (But heck, it's only Harvard)

Bekoff asserts that dogs know they are dependent, read us, and develop a deep trust in relations with their humans. Bekoff is convinced many animals distinguish between right and wrong, and are not merely on auto-pilot to the treats jar.
Harvard University apparently agrees with Bekoff. The psychology of dogs will be researched at the new Canine Cognition Lab. Studies of mammals brains show that they share the same structures for emotions as humans. When dogs laugh, the same chemicals cause the same brain structures to light up, as evidenced in humans. The list of emotions uncovered (scientifically) are a sense of fair play, joy, delight, jealousy, resentment, sadness, embarrassment, remorse, anxiety,compassion, affection, loyalty and more.

"Studies of mammals brains show that they share the same structures for
emotions as humans. "

dogs laugh / fair play / joy / delight / jealousy / resentment / sadness /
embarrassment / remorse / anxiety /compassion / AFFECTION /loyalty
FROM A PET ?????

There is absolutely a difference in the LEVEL of understanding, but it is not simply a response to a "command".

The fact that you WON'T understand this makes responding to the rest of your drivel a waste of time.

Not a pet owner, nor an animal lover,
nor terribly open minded... are we ?
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 588
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 5/29/2009 9:21:30 PM
Never in a million years. Love my cat like a child! Totally adore...wouldn't even consider it!
Joined: 12/19/2008
Msg: 590
I'm sorry...
Posted: 5/31/2009 10:03:50 AM
My apologies, I guess I should have pointed this out to you...but,

"because you (presumably) understand English" (from your post on 5/27)
...(apparently not) ~

*Websters Dictionary*


1. Fond attachment, devotion, or love.

2. Often, affections.
a. emotion; feeling; sentiment: over and above our reason and affections.
b. the emotional realm of love

The fact that you WON'T understand this makes responding to the rest of your drivel a waste of time.

My apologies to the remainder of you for dragging this so far off the original topic...
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 593
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/1/2009 3:45:38 PM
Don't give up your cat!! My cat is my baby. If some girl has a problem with him, she better start talking to some other guy!!
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