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Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 126
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?Page 3 of 35    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
I think it's just something that would come up early on in the relationship. You either are closely connected to your pet, or are not. I've had mine for 20 years, and will for the rest of my life or most of it; my pets are as attached to me as I am to them. It wouldn't be fair to them OR me to just jettison them from my life, so when I contact someone, I make it clear they aren't going anywhere. It would be as foolish as dating someone who doesn't like kids, when you have two small children. If it's a problem, then I simply don't go out with them in the first place. Problem solved.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 127
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/13/2008 6:51:17 AM
I adore my dog as much as anyone... but let's be honest -- it is a different kind of relationship: We have all the control, make all the decisions, and normally pamper the crap out of them. There's no risk of having our hearts broken because they have no choice -- we pick them.

I beg to differ, I've had to euthanize three pets as an adult and lost several as a's pretty heart breaking. But that's part of the territory.

If a dog/human relationship were ENOUGH many of us wouldn't be here.

I guess part of the question is why do some people have pets and how badly do they want to be in a relationship - and finally, is that pet a temporary replacement until someone comes along (who may not stay anyway)?

Again, this thread is silly, mostly because people who don't like/want pets or have allergies would be looking out for people who own pets if they have any common sense so they can avoid those people. By the same token those of us who have pets and have any sense of duty towards them wouldn't keep dating someone who doesn't mesh with that.

Same as people who want kids or don't want kids, or think marriage is important or just do your research and date people that want what you want, duh!

Added: dancecard, it's not about where one person thinks pets belong for the world, but where each person chooses to have them. You're ok because you don't have them in YOUR house, so you practice your belief in your corner of the world - all others should be able to do what THEY want to do in their houses/corners. It's more like you don't like em in the house, find another that doesn't either. That's a match. See?
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 129
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/13/2008 8:06:25 AM

I love critters too! ~ critters belong out doors ~ once allowed in ~ all bets are off!

Oh, Dar, you cut me to the bone. My cat is strictly an indoors kitty. Does this mean that our romance is off???
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 130
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/13/2008 2:52:47 PM
My pets are part of my family. While I have no problem confining them to their own area I would also suggest a good allergy med for the BF. Get rid of them? NO
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 131
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/13/2008 2:56:02 PM
Right now, if anyone asked me to give up my bird, I'd tell him to pound sand. I have had him for almost 11 years and he just makes me happy and he's accepting of who I am. It is fun to enter a room and have him act as though it was the second coming of Elvis. This is more than I can say for most men I've dated.
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 132
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/13/2008 3:12:50 PM
Geez. Does it really have to come to a matter of importance? Relationships usually come and go but here in this situation, the cat had 3 years put in. The guy had 8 months and then they moved in together? A disaster waiting to happen. Don't blame me the statistics say so!
Pets deserve a life time commitment and if you can't give it to them you don't deserve the pet. Plain and simple. You just can't throw animals away.
The cat should have won.

See ya on Judge Joe Brown!
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 134
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/13/2008 3:34:09 PM
If someone asks you to give up your pet for them, then that person is not the right one for you. Period. If you are different there, what else won't you see eye to eye on? That "I'm allergic to cats" thing is a bunch of crap as far as I'm concerned. Heck, I'm allergic to cats and I own two of them. I get by just fine. Next time someone tells you they are allergic to your pet tell them to go buy some bendryl if they want to come in your house.
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 135
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/13/2008 3:34:33 PM
I am allergic to cats. I stay away from profiles of cat owners because it would be an agonizing decision for most people. For those that suggest antihistimines, for some reason cat allergies seem to be more severe than others. I am allergic to dogs but my system can tolerate my dogs and I can pet other dogs if I do not touch my face without washing my hands so someone with a dog could be dealt with. Unless someone had a cat that was already very old, I don't see myself waiting until the cat passes to move forward with a relationship; hence I stay away from the problem.

If the woman gave up the cat on her own, that is her choice as it is also her choice to give the relationship a go despite all of the fighting that suggests it is a fairly rocky one. They also both moved forward knowing this would eventually become an issue if they stayed together. If the guy moved in under the pretences that he would give it a go but really suspected that she would be giving the cat up, that's a problem but generally when someone has cat allergies, it is a no-win situation. The allergic individual suffers constantly and in my case, when I still owned a cat, I was periodically dealing with asthma that I know was directly related to the cat because my symptoms decreased dramatically when he died.
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 136
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/13/2008 4:14:10 PM
the girlfriend/boyfriend should take allergy medecine. The pets stay. Thereis a british shwo on animal planet called its me or the dog. Thsi lady victoria stillwell makes Ceasar Milan the dog whisperer, look like a moron. There are these people where the woman lets the dog sleep in the bed and the husband cannot get into bed without beign attacked and ends up sleeping ont he couch nand not having sex with his wife for over year. its disgusting. But as for allergies. they got medecine and shots for that.
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 140
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/13/2008 5:36:14 PM

my dog stays, relationship ends....
well, I wouldn't start a relationship with someone allergic to pets in the first place...
so never really had that problem...

Bravo. If you don't find these things out ahead of time, it's unfair to the little four legged life you chose to care for....

My dogs always came first... and now that it's just me and kitty, after 15 years, he's not going anywhere!

If I'm hitting it off with a dood and he is allergic and wants to take shots or pills to help
alleviate the symptoms, that's on him. But the cat and I are a team. I made that commitment
the day I adopted him. That's just life folks.
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 146
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/13/2008 7:59:51 PM
Nope, had my dog may to long, 10 years now. No way, that person better understand or good riddens. I wouldn't ask then to give up their pets for me, compromise. Take Claritin.
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 154
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/13/2008 9:22:02 PM

They are an accessory to a life of loving others, not a replacement for others.

This is also just my opinion...
My two cats are not an accessory nor a replacement. They have taught me more about unconditional love than any human ever could and in actuality probably ever will. I've never known of a (insert animal) to say sorry I don't love you anymore because of (insert reason). The only time I have felt pain from an animal is at the time of their death and that is only because I knew memories would have to provide comfort.

Without a doubt my cats are a part of the package in a relationship. Yes, I make that very clear when getting to know someone. I do have cats, which are like my kids, and they stay...

Maybe it is men/women who are the accessories to a life of love, because they sure can be replaced a lot easier then a person who loves their (insert animal).

 Casey Jones53
Joined: 1/22/2008
Msg: 156
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/13/2008 11:15:11 PM
Kyn's opinion was spot on!! (For those interested in her post, it's on page one)
She puts the whole issue into the proper perspective.

I've been emotionally attached to cats and dogs at one time or other. They're interesting, non-judgemental and great sources of love and affection.

One date I had seemed to think it was some kind of popularity contest and I was somewhat mystified by her jealous reaction until now.

I'm not sure I would want to date anyone who suggested anti-histamines. Seems to me that they think their pet is more important than I am.

So, give up the love of my life for my pet cat or dog? NO WAY!

Who knows, it might be a good barometer of just how serious your date regards you if you understand their attachment to their pet and they are willing to give them up for you. That tells me something!
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 161
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/14/2008 8:15:30 AM

actually I was stating a fact from my point of veiw

No, you were actually stating your point of view. A fact is a fact and can be proven by empirical evidence. An opinion is NOT a fact, and something from your point of view is merely your opinion.

An entry about dogs from my blog:

I doth protest . . . the recent statement made to me by a male who said that "ALL men are dogs."

First, to categorize ALL men being this or that is an all encompassing claim that is simply not accurate. This particular male meant that ALL men are untrustworthy and possess other unsavory characteristics. I say, "Nonsense."

Furthermore, to compare dogs to unsavory men is an insult to canines. I have lived with a few dogs in my lifetime and found them loyal, loving, and quite delightful; I have never been bitten by a dog in anger, one has never betrayed me, and though they have peed all over my feet, it was not a sign of disdain but rather the opposite.

I have also consorted with many males--I can't say the same about ALL of them.

Let me tell you about dogs: If dogs are treated with kindness, they will not turn on you or disappoint you. Feed them, water them, give them attention and love, and they will love you unconditionally in return. A few pats on the head will cause them to sit and look at you adoringly. Unsavory males MIGHT do that, but it is a sham.

Even a dog who has been abused can be won over. These dogs are give even more unconditional love (if possible).

If this man and other men want to compare their lack of trustworthiness, etc., to an animal, they should choose . . . no, not a rat; I have known some rather nice rats.
Hmmm . . . perhaps comparing themselves to other unsavory men would be the best option.

There are great men out there; I know quite a few. Both men and dogs (and cats) have their places--and they cannot replace each other.
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 162
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/14/2008 8:19:34 AM
I think you are all being just a little too tough on scruffy. He IS after all the best combination. He kind of looks like a cross between a pet and a (outside chance) boyfriend. I bet his leg even starts shaking if you scratch him behind the ears! I know mine does!
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 163
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/14/2008 8:24:33 AM
Part of making or growing into a relationship is acceptance, both have to accept the other person AS THEY ARE, including the relationships they have already established. Whether it's a dog or an obnoxious friend, a meddling mother, if you can't mesh with the other person and them mesh with you it's a no go.

Asking someone to change or give up any established relationship to be with you is unacceptable and will result in a time where the other person becomes resentful and things will go to hades in a handbasket.
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 164
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/14/2008 8:58:56 AM
Wow, her letting go of a cat she had for 3 years shows says something about her, and it's not good. There are many compromises that could have and should have been made,,
 Louder than Love
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 166
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/14/2008 9:36:30 PM
Shouldn't people be considered higher on the food chain than a Dog or Cat???
Joined: 2/16/2007
Msg: 171
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 1:14:28 AM
I am with you! Pets love you unconditionally and without question. Mine have been with me for a long time. I wouldn't ask someone I cared about to give up his children. my pets are the only children that I will ever be blessed with. I recently took in my bets friend's chihuaha, which I really hope not to keep, because her fiancee doesn't like LITTLE dogs. The dog belonged to her children. Anyone getting involved with another person needs to accept the WHOLE PACKAGE!
Joined: 2/16/2007
Msg: 172
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 1:17:00 AM
Salty towers....i like the way you think! If a man looked at me day after day the way my cat has for 14 years or my dogs have for eight, i would worship at his feet!
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 180
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:40:24 AM

Off topic, I just find it interesting when pet people state their pets are non judgemental and love thier owners unconditionally

I see this often, as well. I have no clue why, but it simply makes NO sense to me. Nothing in life/love is unconditional. Cheat on your spouse, if found out ~ he/she would probably have some rather conditional opinions on the subject. Pets, well ~ stop feeding them. Kick them around a little and it's a pretty sure bet, you leave the door open ~ they will run off. I'm not saying it's what pet-lovers do, I'm merely making the point that nothing is truly "unconditional."

To the point being discussed that we may treat our pets better than our spouse ~ personal experience has shown me that often times my pets have treated me better than my spouse. I suppose it's a fact, the spouse pees on the carpet ~ he's likely going to be surprised at my response. My pets on the other hand, I'd clean it up and wonder why they just didn't use the doggie door. Regardless, higher on the food chain or not, the dog stays. If Mr. Right for Me isn't a pet person, he's most likely NOT Mr. Right for Me at all. JMO
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 181
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:49:05 AM
^^^^ this thread topic has come up before and always draws a discernably divided crowd.
I'd find it immensely difficult to say bye to one of my dear furrie friends of the animal kingdom, as they do have feelings.
MY dog wept for over 6 weeks at the untimely loss of our cat. They do have feelings, heartbeats, and emotions, and it would be plain cruel for "me" to give up an animal I've sought and dedicated myself to care for.
That's a tough call. I know if love were in the mix, and a person I was enamored with was allergic, I'd have to consider giving up lets for a lifetime.
I'd probably decline to release my pets under those circumstances. I wouldn't know, honestly, if the relationship would stand the test of time, anyway, until further down the road, and by then, and if it didn't, where would I be then? ALone, miserable, and greatly resenting my choices.

ltns, green eyes.... nice seeing you
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 190
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 3:05:45 PM
I don't think anyone is saying they'd prefer their relationships with their pets over humans. It's really apples and oranges, while pets aren't people (DUH!) they are companions that are depedent on humans for their existence so the humans own that responsibility when they take on becoming a pet owner. And it's not something they're going to abandon to date someone that doesn't like pets.

Correct me if I'm wrong but that's the general gist of what I get from the general tone of most of the posts.

BTW I'm not a pet owner or really a "pet person". I would date someone who was, I don't dislike animals I just don't want to have one myself. I do have a ton of respect for those who are responsible pet owners and do realize what a joy their companionship can bring.
Joined: 3/15/2007
Msg: 196
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:13:13 PM
I would never give up any of my 3 dogs or 2 cats for a man...or anyone else. My animals are my children, and I love them before all else. I took them in, and I will keep them for better or worse. They are my faithful and loving companions, and I shudder to think of the day when they are no longer with me. I've had a couple of relationships recently where the men thought I should "give them up" or "find them homes"....sorry...would a man give up his kids for me??? I think not...nor would I ever expect him to. One of the guys told me that he knew that as long as my animals were around, he'd never come first in my life!!! Oh well...get over it. The other is still having difficulties getting rid of some old clothes and knick knacks of his dead mother's...she's been gone for over 2 years, and he thinks I should get rid of my animals???? No way...sorry. I know they can be a bother to the men in my life on occasion, but so can kids...and I don't have any human ones. If I was your friend, I would have told him to go see an allergist...there are all kinds of shots and pills to take if you have allergic reactions to animals. If he didn't want to do that, I'd say goodbye. Just my opinion.
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 198
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Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/17/2008 10:41:59 PM

so for you that like pets over humans i hope u get help.and sanschele how do u know i dont have pets, and all of you for that matter?

dancing/shoes : ^^^^This is called baiting.
Basically attempting to stir up trouble by your comments and you have done this several times already just in this topic.

It is well within Sans rights to choose animals over people if this is what SHE wants. It is HER choice and it DOES NOT make her sick.

If you have a pet or pets then it is YOUR choice to say so. We are NOT playing twenty questions. How about contributing to the topic and answering whether you would give up a pet over a relationship?

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