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Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 298
Your Pet or YourRelationship?Page 5 of 35    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
I would never give up my furkids for someone. Ever. Period. If that means I stay alone, then fine. No problem.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 302
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/5/2008 4:32:23 AM
I will add, though, that if I was already married / living with someone and he spontaneously developed a severe allergy to my dogs or cats and shots or nothing else would alleviate that, I'd do my absolute best to find him a good home.

I agree...I'd find my SO/husband a good home too. It's only fair to take the extra time after all you've shared together. Welp, you can always do sleepovers!

If I had an animal, I would surely give it up for a potential person that could be my future partner! As far as the people on here that say their animal had always been there for them, get a life, YOU FEED THEM!! If do not have the balls to give up an animal for a PERSON, then u two deserve each other!

Adopting an animal is a responsibility that you see thru till the end, regardless of what changes in your life. Anyone who WOULD ask you to give up a pet isn't someone a pet owner/lover should consider anyway. So a bullet gets dodged.

But in the first place, if you feel this way - don't date animal lovers, that way you don't have to deal with the choices they make, or expect them to make a choice. In fact, find someone who feels just as you do about it, you said, the two of you will deserve each other.

As I stated in this thread maybe 55 times already, this is a major dealbreaker like smoking, having children, etc. Don't date people with pets if you don't like em. It doesn't get any simpler.
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 303
view profile
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/5/2008 4:38:18 AM
i can and will and even come to love your pet.....but i'll be damned if i'm ever gonna play second fiddle to anyones pet again
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 305
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/5/2008 5:12:55 AM
allergies are one thing....but i would never get rid of any of my dogs for anyone!!!!!there are ways around the allergies but ,personally i wouldnt do it!!!my sister gave away her bloodhound for which she traveled all the way to south carolina to purchase.for a her boyfriend who had other dogs which didnt get along w/ hers.....i would never.....unless ur madly in love ,but i wouldnt
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 307
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/5/2008 12:25:21 PM
My my, you're just a frigging ray of sunshine today, aren't you? I don't think you have anything to worry about, fedman.
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 311
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/5/2008 7:58:11 PM
The more I'm around people, the more I love my dog. Nuff said.
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 316
Of course
Posted: 9/5/2008 10:26:48 PM

in all seriousness, pets should be treated no more disposable than children. It disgusts me that they so often are. If you're so easy to give up a pet "for the sake of" love, then you are willing to give up anything just to suit someone else and that's weakness at its finest. You have no integrity.


My dogs (2) and cat (1) come first. If some man doesn't like that, tough patooties.
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 319
Of course
Posted: 9/5/2008 10:50:02 PM
Snicker. I was REALLY sitting on my hands so I wouldn't offend anyone. I tend to cuss when I get..well...irked. And I'm still trying to behave here. Aren't you proud of my efforts? If not....tough patooties.
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 321
view profile
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/6/2008 8:52:09 AM
To me being allergic is different than being someone who does not like animals.

I could not be with someone who did not like animals.. I dated a guy once who loved cats but he was horribly allergic to them.. so I considered the fact that if we continued I could not ever have a kitty again.. which made me sad because kitty cats are my favorite pets.. but I would have rather had him.

He and I are no longer seeing one another so... "here kitty, kitty, kitty"..
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 322
view profile
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/6/2008 9:42:21 AM
I'm much more of a dog person than a cat person, but either way, pets are FAMILY, and I would never give up a pet for a woman, nor expect her to give up her pet because of me.
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 324
Of course
Posted: 9/6/2008 7:21:38 PM
Actually, I usually say "eat dog shit and bark at the moon", but I was really good last night and patootied instead.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 326
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/12/2008 6:54:21 PM
^^^It's way easier to just date women who don't have them in the first place. That way it's not an issue. When you first e-mail/start talking to a woman, ask if she has's really not rocket science!
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 328
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/13/2008 12:13:08 AM
hey, he's on to something... "honey, i'm allergic to your mother, your girlfriends, you talking, your birthday, nagging, and Macy's"
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 333
view profile
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/14/2008 9:45:47 PM

Pets are not disposable.


I cofounded and run an animal shelter. Yes, we say nasty things about people who throw away their animals because the new BF or GF doesn't like/want/is allergic to them. We don't particularly care about you, you will be out of our thoughts within a few minutes of leaving. We, however, will have to live the next several days, at minimum, with what you just did without a care. If you think animals are unthinking, unfeeling creatures, you are truly ignorant. They're confused, they're often terrified, they cower, they CRY, they often don't eat for days. Everything they are familiar with is gone. Sometimes they become aggressive and, in a municipal shelter (mine is private), they are euthanized. To those of us who love animals and have dedicated at least a part of our lives to mopping up the mess YOU create, this breaks our hearts. So since I get to do this on a daily basis (and it's my volunteer work, not my employment), yes, I feel entitled to call you nasty things. Selfish, self centered, "it's all about me" also come to mind. If you don't like/want/are allergic to an animal then do not get involved with a person that has one. No brainer, yes? It's a living creature that someone has taken responsibility for, not a piece of furniture.

And for those that want to adopt and wonder why there is an application, a waiting period, an interview, a home visit and a fee to adopt, it's the best effort we can make to weed out those who don't have the strength of character to keep their pet because they are too needy or desperate for a BF/GF.

My house is sometimes a revolving door for needy animals. If someone doesn't understand my compassion for animals and find it an admirable trait, oh well! I am not, nor have I ever been, a chameleon. I don't change who I am to "fit" what they want. Would I compromise for a partner's comfort and happiness? Sure! For the 2 years my ex lived with me I didn't foster anything except an orphaned kitten or two. But any existing animals when I enter into a relationship are not negotiable.
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 335
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/14/2008 11:20:53 PM
What jnh456 said.
 lil red corvette
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 336
view profile
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/15/2008 7:55:13 AM
My vote would have been to keep the cat.
A new boyfriend can hardly be saiid to be the "love of her life"
Any potential lifemate would try anything to keep their allergy under control RATHER than allowing the other to dispose of a pet.

Pets are not disposable .... anyone who feels that a pet should go .... probably doesn't have a pet !
Joined: 9/17/2008
Msg: 345
view profile
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/20/2008 10:14:58 AM
I could never give up my pets.....and I am allergic to cats but I still have one and he may stay outside due to landlord rules but he used to be inside all the time - or at least all the time HE wanted considering cats are very much independent!

I don't see allergies as being a problem with starting a relationship because there are medications that help with the symptoms.

To me having a pet is the only reason I have been able to deal with the relationships that go south.....pets - whether that is a cat or dog - are with you no matter what happens and will cheer you up when you have problems in your life. Wish more relationships were like that!!!

My animals stay!! I think she will realize how silly her decision was and I hope she can get her cat back when the guy walks out!!
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 346
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/20/2008 10:16:59 AM
I cofounded and run an animal shelter. Yes, we say nasty things about people who throw away their animals because the new BF or GF doesn't like/want/is allergic to them. We don't particularly care about you, you will be out of our thoughts within a few minutes of leaving. We, however, will have to live the next several days, at minimum, with what you just did without a care....

Chatte...I tried to e-mail you privately...but you have a restriction on women (understandable)...

God Bless people like you...what you do is just unbelieveable, and I wanted to take the time to stop and thank you for your work with animals. I have tried more than once to work in shelters, but I get too angry...depressed....sad to truly be productive. My heart truly breaks over and over.

I plan to get over myself and get stronger as I get older; I know it's not about how I feel at all so much as making sure I am there to make a difference. I'm working on it. I know every person that can pitch in is desperately needed. Anywho...

Hopefully I can be like my aunt and uncle who take a good chunk of their time now that they are retired to work with the Humane Society in uncle comes up to CT a few times a year with a busload of dogs because in NC they are abandoned a lot and left with no options, whereas in CT they get adopted pretty quickly.

Just wanted to say that what you do DOES NOT go unnoticed even tho I am sure sometimes it feels like shoveling shit against the tide...and yeah OK it's cheesy but I really feel people who do what you do are living angels...

Ok. Back to the thread, sorry for the interruption everyone.
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 355
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/20/2008 12:33:07 PM
I beleive I have addressed this before but I am going to go there again. Why would anyone date somebody that would be allergic to their pets? I have horses and dogs. I certainly would not date someone who disliked dogs. I know a lot of men are not into horses but they best not ask me to choose!
I absolutely positively would NEVER ever ever ever get rid of my pets for a man. I will stay single until I can find a man who will happily coexist with my pets. I got these animals first. Also pets are not disposable. I have a commitment to be with my animals until they perish. If a man asked me to get rid of my pets, I would boot HIM.
I do not date men who are allergic to pets either as that just spells trouble.
Sorry, gentlemen, you must take my pets as well as me.
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 357
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/20/2008 3:55:54 PM
Love me, love my dogs.
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 359
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/20/2008 4:06:05 PM

Why would anyone date somebody that would be allergic to their pets? I have horses and dogs. I certainly would not date someone who disliked dogs. I know a lot of men are not into horses but they best not ask me to choose!

I wonder this every time I wander into this thread. Why on earth start something with someone when you clearly know beforehand ~ it's a no win. This goes right back to the "I can change him/her" theory.

~OT~ I'm with others ~ love me, love my pet of choice, whether that be a cat, dog, pig, or my sea monkeys. It's a short walk to the door and I'll hold it open for him.
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 360
view profile
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/21/2008 9:56:49 AM
Well thank you all so much, I'm blushing!

I love what I do and have been doing it for about 18 years. And thanks to everyone who said so many wonderful things about pets not being disposable, I can't even remember back to all the quotes I read. When you deal on a daily basis all the reasons people want to give up their animals (we bought a new sofa and the dogs hair is the opposite color, do you have puppies for adoption and can you take our old dog in exchange? ~ I am not making this up!) it's uplifting to read all the comments about keeping pets.

To djchickie, as for not having the strength to do what I do, yes, it can be very heartbreaking sometimes but you celebrate the accomplishments and get past the heartaches. My shelter is private, we do not euthanize our animals with the exception of terminal illness or uncorrectable aggression. It is the country club of shelters, the animals I fall in love with today will still be there tomorrow. You might want to look into working with a rescue organization as opposed to a shelter. I could not deal with the daily heartbreak of a municipal shelter. The blessings really need to go to the people who have the strength to walk into a municipal shelter and work with animals on a daily basis that just may not be there the next day ~ and they didn't get adopted. Those people are truly the saints because that takes more strength than I have.

I like compassionate people, I surround myself with them. I dislike selfcenteredness because I find it transfers beyond animals to all areas of life, including people. "It's all about me" is just not an attractive trait and the funny thing is the people who are that way just don't see it in themselves! I can understand someone who finds animal people annoying because, how dare they? If it's not about you, why bother?
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 361
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/21/2008 10:46:04 AM
I wouldn't even consider getting involved with someone who'd put me in the position where I was expected to make a choice.

I'm an animal person... someone with bad allergies or a severe hate-on for animals ought to just steer clear of me.
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 379
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/22/2008 9:14:59 AM
I would not give up my pets.

I don't think it has anything to do with control or comfort zones. For me it's about moral obligation. I believe when you take on a pet, you are obligated to give that pet care for the duration of it's life. It's a commitment similar to having children. If you are the type of person who is willing to drop your responsibilities and commitments to suit someone else, I don't think that is a very appealing personality trait.

Surely they can come to some compromise, like a catfree zone. I have friends whose cats weren't allowed in the living room. So maybe they could disallow pets in the living room and bedroom to give her potential significant other some safe zones? At least that would allow her to ensure she's not giving up her responsibilities for someone who's not permanent in her life.

Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 380
view profile
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 9/22/2008 9:22:26 AM
This is too easy.
My cat is a package deal with me.
My bf and I are now co-habitating, and having to integrate his two with my old man (mine's 14) His boys are a handful, but I would no more ask him to get rid of his than he'd ask to get rid of mine.

We accept the whole lot, and are working toward a solution for them to at least get along with each other.

If I dated a man who didn't like cats, well, I suppose that'd be an indicator that he didn't like me much either, since I'm definitely a cat person.

The OP's friend obviously wasn't very bonded with her animal, or she's THAT desperate to have this relationship. We are responsible for our pets once we take them on. (or they choose us, as happens frequently)

It isn't about control, its about finding a truly compatible personality for your lifestyle.

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