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 AUTHOR
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 2
Porn/sex chat sites addictionPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
The first question should be... are you interested in a threesome also? If you are okay with it, tell him you found his ad and you would have appreciated him consulting you before placing it. If you aren't okay with a threesome, I would confront him immediately and tell him you have no intention of participating in a ménage à trois. I would also inform him that you don't appreciate him making plans for sexual trysts without your knowledge and approval.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 3
Porn/sex chat sites addiction
Posted: 6/11/2008 12:34:39 AM
Your relationship is a mess. You talk to him thats what you do. You tell him this is not cool.

Porn is an addiction to many. Its like a drug. they need more and more crazy and wild behavior. You are in for a rough ride.
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 9
Porn/sex chat sites addiction
Posted: 6/11/2008 1:58:29 PM
A little bit of porn is great, even a lot of porn is fine as long as he is not obsessed. Now putting out an add on a sex personal site for a 3 way withy ou and aniother woman without asking for your permission first is a violation of your rights. You never agreed to such a thing. Are you even into threesomes this is a lot like cheating or trying to coax you into a sitution by making it happen and putting you on the spot. He's a jerk who should either be in therapy or someone who is into the same kinky swinging stuff he is. He's not good for you. Dump him unless you are ok with having a 3way with another woman.
 Chippy2
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 20
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Porn/sex chat sites addiction
Posted: 6/13/2008 10:02:48 AM
Everybody can get addicted to something, especially in the realms of fantasy, or removal of reality, so yes porn sites can be addictive.

I would also say that from my experience more couples / friends etc talk about threesomes and more without actually doing anything about it in the real world. It is a nice fantasy to have and some things should stay just that a fantasy.

In your case of steps actually being taken without your knowledge, let a lone your consent, I would say you have some serious talking to do.

It might be a fantasy he is acting out, but does he know where to draw the line when the time comes. On his own there would be no problem acting out the part of a willing participant, even if a couple approach him and he runs away screaming NO!!!
But he is not on his own and has given you concerns which you now need to address. He has to state his case and listen to your needs or lose your trust, which is now shaken.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 25
Porn/sex chat sites addiction
Posted: 6/14/2008 11:10:55 AM
Just because he's acting like a pig doesn't mean he has an addiction. There are alot of people who act like self-entitled pigs.

There are also alot of guys who place ads for 'threesomes' hoping to meet women - and then they're not able to produce the 'third' party in the threesome - namely, their female partner - when they finally get one on their hook. They'll use all kinds of excuses as to why their female partner suddenly got 'cold feet,' hoping the interested 3rd party will just go for him anyway and forget about the promised threesome. Heard about it many times.

Don't be so sure he's looking to involve you in his scumbag behavior. Whether he is isn't doesn't matter. He's a scumbag.
 Xcen
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 27
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Porn/sex chat sites addiction
Posted: 6/14/2008 11:30:08 AM
Well OP, MsFrenchie.
Reading the advice and responses to your situation and then reading your responses to those..............the question seems to be who is more addicted here: Your b/f to porn and 3-way dreams or Frenchie to a non-existent relationship where there is little communication, fear of communication, behind- the- back sneaking around, and mis-trust between two "roommates"???? You apparently are another female victim who enjoys being one and lacks the resolve to end the situation.
 vivaciousvixen2
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 28
Porn/sex chat sites addiction
Posted: 6/14/2008 11:35:19 AM
Honey, before I met my ex husband face to face, I created a 2 profiles with pics of these women with different geographics both wanting him. "This was during the time that he was starting to L O V E me." Well, at that point I decided to date and gave him these profiles letting him know that they were me checking up on his integrity. I let him know that I was disappointed that he was playing me.

Why don't you be someone else, hott and bothered, really cute, wanting to cum for him because he is just a hottie???? GROWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Does he want to nibble your neck?
You will get your answer very quickly.
 SweetnSassyNatureLover
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 32
Porn/sex chat sites addiction
Posted: 6/19/2008 1:55:51 PM
OMG - this is one of the main reasons I ended my last ltr of four years!!! Honey who cares how you approach him except with his bags in hand at the door and onto the lawn!!!

First of all you can NOT fix it... noone can get an alcoholic to sober up or an addict to get clean if they don't want to. And he's obviously not honest with you.

Maybe he already has another girl and seeking the third and you aren't even invited to the party!!!!

Cut your losses and run. The house isn't enough reason to put up with this unless you are willing to be used this way. And as some have already posted, this is an addiction that will only get worse, who knows what else he is into. Where there is smoke there is fire.
 chosen69
Joined: 4/30/2008
Msg: 36
Porn/sex chat sites addiction
Posted: 6/19/2008 3:34:10 PM
i would cheat on him if i was u i mean why does he want 2 **** other females 4 he sound like a loser look i interested in hooknup with u 4 funtimes
 Cantankerous_Hermit
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 39
Porn/sex chat sites addiction
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:16:16 PM
You mention that you can't leave because of your financial obligations. You're not married. Kick him out. Do whatever it takes. He betrayed you. I know a couple who got a divorce over the exact same situation. The difference was that her husband was posting explicit pictures of her with his adds. Or is that the case with you too? Are you sure?
 nick551
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 45
Porn/sex chat sites addiction
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:03:11 PM
dump him and come to me baby., i got it all!
 olcountryboy43
Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 50
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Porn/sex chat sites addiction
Posted: 11/8/2008 6:36:11 AM
ok i love porn but im a single guy that is why now when you are with someone you should be focusing all your att. on your partner not on porn unless you both like it now to adress the add on the site only an i mean only if you both are into swinging threesomes ect should there ever be an add posted for such to do that without your knowledge is a slap in the face an also questions as to his faithfulness to you if you all have a good sex life then why is he wanting to bring someone else into it unless he is not getting what he wants or he is not truely happy with just one woman ask yourself about his past realationships an see what you come up with before you confront him here is how to find out what he is up to make a profile on the site use a fake name an pic an see what you find out then confront him easier to catch flies with honey than with sugar good luck an becareful
 buddypoke
Joined: 11/2/2008
Msg: 53
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Porn/sex chat sites addiction
Posted: 11/9/2008 10:00:10 AM
How certain are you that he posted the ad? Are you just going by the description of the woman in the ad or were you actually able to login to that site as his ID or into his email and validate that he posted that ad?

You would be surprised to find that there are other people who when described, could fit our own description very well.

The bigger issue here is that there seems to be no trust and respect.
If that is the case, even if you confront him with the ad, the first thing he would do is deny. And after that he would be more careful in the future to cover his tracks when he goes searching on the web.

Solution? Walk away.
Do not let fear of temporary financial obligations ruin your life. It might mean that you would have to work a bit longer/harder to get your financial situation under control, but it would be worth the effort. Will only make you a stronger person.
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