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Joined: 9/19/2010
Msg: 39
How do I lower my standards without compromising too much?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I think there are two parts to your question...

you have "values" that you are looking for as well as "traits" you really want.

Those are things that are very much part of your comfort zone, and those are things that I think lacking, will cause problems for you. I don't believe you should modify your values list at all; those are important to the core of you and the core of your interaction with someone you are hopefully going to "click" or "connect" in a meaningful way.

That being said, there are ALSO "filters" that people choose to have. They have a wide or a narrow pool to start looking FOR the values from within. If you have a very small, highly filtered pool, then stepping it down one more step and starting to look from within it for your value person will be significantly more challenging.

Instead of trying to change your values, broaden your filters. Make your age range wider; don't automatically rule out someone based on looks that you really don't know how you'd feel about if you met them in person; don't specify an income range; kids vs no kids; have fewer filters and truly give everyone from within that new range a chance; look with an open mind.

You will be pleasantly surprised at some jewels in the rough you wouldn't have looked twice at; that actually are remarkably good fits.

Very good luck to you
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