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Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 63
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.Page 2 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
I don't smoke either and have nothing against anyone who does....however, in every state it is still illegal the message to your daughter is: even though it's illegal I think it shouldn't be, therefore it's ok to smoke.

I would just be very careful that your daughter doesn't know about it for now.
I'm sure you'll find a fish who is a little more "tolerable".

 spunky sicilian
Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 64
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:06:25 PM
ok now that its posted that u smoke mj you better hope that CPI/Children and Welfare dont come a knockin.....why do it and put yourself in a position to lose the most important person in your life????
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 66
view profile
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:09:38 PM
I read this thread with interest as I still have a few friends that still partake after all these years. As a side note, none of them married or had children.

My teenage years were in the mid too late seventies and most everyone I grew up with smoked pot as regular recreation. Now, while I don't smoke anything these days, and have not for damn near 30 years, I think people have the right to make choices for "themselves" as long as they understand the consequences of their actions.
So, if its worth risking the legal ramifications that may occur one day, or should something change with the relationship with your ex-husband and he decides he wants full custody and knows you smoke on a regular basis, he will be able to use this against you. I hope you see where I'm going with this, you are setting yourself up for a potential problem.

If you isolate your habit (and that's what it is, in my humble opinion) from your daughter and never smoke around her, that helps, but the truth is your bias will no doubt, trickle down too her and before you know it she may be puffing with you. Now, ask that a good mom? Not saying that will be your scenario, but what if it is? Could you live with that?

I don't think you are a bad person or a bad mom. I think you are young and need to re-evaluate your priorities and ask yourself what is in your young daughter's best interest. If your daughter were not in the picture, I would say you are free to chose what you do with yourself, as long as your actions only affect you. Long term studies on pot are now available for anyone who cares to read the data.....should be easy to find on the internet. Perhaps, a good read on the long term effects of cannibis will lend some insight on this drug and help you sort it out. Sorry to be long winded about this, I think it is a far more layered subject than the initial premise stated in the subject line.

Anyway, just my two cents worth.....
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 68
view profile
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:26:42 PM
*dustie - As long as you don't have it available for everyone that stops over and your daughter is not in the home then do whatever but if she is anywhere in the house you would be a "bad mother"! My girlfriend feels the way you do and always had it out on the table and when her 6 and 10year old begain to smoke it also someone called the authorities and she lost her children. Remember is is NOT legalized yet! Does her father or anyone in your or his family know about your "habit"? If so I would be awfully careful and be looking over your shoulder - ya just never know.
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 70
view profile
Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:37:36 PM
artzytype - I was a mother in the late 60's and surprisingly so a lot of my friends who did smoke stopped as soon as their children were born.. The not so funny part though was in those days you drank and smoked cigarettes while you were pregnant and that was O.K. - go figure.
Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 73
view profile
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:00:03 PM
At this point in this discussion, I think it is apparent what the majority feel. Does this mean that you will change your attitudes or behaviour? Need I even ask this question? Sometimes people's thought processes form faulty syllogisms when discussing emotionally laden topics.

Not drinking alcohol is good for you.
Smoking marijuana is not drinking alcohol.
Therefore smoking marijuana is good for you.

It is also impossible to cite opposing references to someone who has an emotional attachment to an issue. However the following is an excerpt from The National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML) as stated in a May 5, 2006 report by Paul Armentano, titled Cannabis Smoke and Cancer: Assessing the Risk:

Cannabis smoke -- unlike tobacco smoke -- has not been definitely linked to cancer in humans, including those cancers associated with tobacco use. However, certain cellular abnormalities in the lungs have been identified more frequently in long-term smokers of cannabis compared to non-smokers.

Chronic exposure to cannabis smoke has also been associated with the development of pre-cancerous changes in bronchial and epithelium cells in similar rates to tobacco smokers. Cellular abnormalities were most present in individuals who smoked both tobacco and marijuana, implying that cannabis and tobacco smoke may have an additive adverse effect on airway tissue.[...]

Do you consider a person who smokes cigarettes a bad mother? What is your opinion of a mother who smokes inside the house. Marijuana cigarettes contain higher concentrations of polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (eg benzopyrene). Ironically by drinking non-pasteurized milk and smoking cigarettes, you are engaging in riskier behaviour than women whom you consider who lead a less healthy lifestyle - drinking 2% milk and having an occasional glass of red wine.
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 74
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:07:41 PM
one mans meat,is another mans poison,one mans gain is another mans loss,Im traveling down this lonesome highway cause a rolling stone dont gather no moss.
Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 77
view profile
Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:24:14 PM

I was a mother in the late 60's and surprisingly so a lot of my friends who did smoke stopped as soon as their children were born.. The not so funny part though was in those days you drank and smoked cigarettes while you were pregnant and that was O.K. - go figure.

With alcohol and cigarettes, the affects are usually immediately apparent with the offspring (reduced birth weight up to fetal alcohol syndrome). MJ seems to affect mitochondrial DNA. This means any deleterious affects will follow female offspring. I cannot say anything will happen but my personal opinion is "rather safe than sorry".
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 79
view profile
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:41:59 PM
well she never said she didn't smoke around her child, which i suspect she does. I know people who did when they were younger, but stopped when they had children. Ya the whole illegal aspect doesn't help and possbility of getting sent to jail just to get your jollies and abandoning your child screams irresponsibility and selfishness.
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 85
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:47:35 PM
I don't think it matters that you are pro-legalization....RIGHT NOW, it IS ILLEGAL.

You are sending negative messages to your daughter regarding risks, consequences, laws, etc....

When she comes home from school and says, "I was suspended from school for smoking pot" are you going to pat her on the back and fight the school since you are pro-legalization?!
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 88
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:09:38 PM
I find it amussing that this guy didn't decide to bash you for being a bad mother, until you wouldn't date him.

Whether you believe marijuana should be legal, or not; or whether or not you believe it's better or worse than alcohol; the one thing that is a fact is: marijuanna is currently illegal.
By willingly partaking in the use of it, you are chosing to partake in a criminal activity, and expose your daughter to a criminal activity.
Isn't it better to teach a child to respect the laws of your country, even if you don't agree with every one of them?

Your profile stakes you use drugs at least 3 times a week? When you're a single mother, shouldn't the responsibilities of being a parent take priority over your desire to live a stoner lifestyle???

Also, have you ever considered the consequences of what may happen to you, as a single parent, if you were caught in the possession of drugs?

She's not allergic to posion ivy and I've never tried to keep her out of it.
You assume that since your daughter's not allergic to poison ivy, you must be a good mother??? Maybe you've smoked a little too much.
I doubt that whether or not a child is allergic poison ivy, should play any part in determining whether or not a person is a good parent.
But I do think that the parent admitting to smoking dope, at least three days a week, plays a huge part in determining whether or not they're a good parent.
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 89
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:30:54 PM
I won't judge you on being a bad mother, but irresponsible yes. I have my own opinions on pot, agree it should be legalized and is no worse then alcohol. However I don't use either one. It's been repeatedly stated throughout. It's still illegal and if you were arrested what would happen to your babygirl. Is it worth risking losing her. Doesn't matter if you do it in front of her or not, whether your a student/doctor/welfare mama whatever - you are putting her at risk by risking incarceration. Standing up for what you believe in is a very good thing, but not when it risks someone else. Also as stated above, what if there was a life/death emergency with her and you were not able to react quickly enough to save her life.

There are many ways to be an active advocate for your cause without putting you or your daughter at risk. Work with your legislation, get petitions going - whatever. PS I think legalized pot should mainly be for medicinal purposes, not just getting loaded but that's my opinion.
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 90
view profile
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:48:31 PM
Dustie, very cool for getting out and getting an education.

I'm a legal studies/paralegal student... I also advocate medical marijuana, worked in the medical field for many years, and was permanently injured on the job.

As for those that think doing "legal drgs" as something better, perhaps GOOGLING oxycotin, and the issues and problems that are caused with that drug. People also like to snort the stuff, which mind you I can't even imagine, but then again I can't imagine snorting any substance....

As for the dill weed that got bent because you wouldn't meet him, his only deep personal attack could be saying something against you as a mum, that works every time for most women.

Your daughter is going to appreciate having a mum that is a stand up person, and has ideals that she's willing to fight for. So many people have demonized MJ, and are so pot illiterate it isn't even funny. They all love to bring up these odd ball studies that they located by googling, and don't have a clue as to how VALID the research was which always is enough for gut busting laughter...

Life is a calculated risk, and for those that are having fun pointing the figure I have marvel how they have no problem throwing stones in their own glass houses, thinking they are so freaking holy.

Shug if you believe in something the whole world doesn't have to agree, the only person it matters to is YOU and YOUR family... Your 6 yr old will grow up, and be glad to have a mum that isn't some narrow minded neurotic, that thinks all her secrets are hidden from public view.

I was completely MJ illiterate until I was 36, my oldest laughed at how ignorant I was about it. AND yes at 18 she tried it, just like she tried alcohol... However she also had a mum that was a safety freak, so behaving unsafely like driving was NOT something she has seen fit to do.

Don't worry about what a bunch of opinionated forum asses have to say, stand up for things that matter to you....

And for those who are acting like you are going to the seediest side of town... OH PLEASE, you would be surprised at the upstanding people that grow the stuff... Having a medical card makes the access to it differently, but still in the days of not doing it, I did know a lot of people who did, and they weren't trolling the bad side of town for it...

Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 92
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:04:12 PM
First of all I'm very glad to hear that your daughter is conscious. From your description it sounds like she's also very conscientious.

Do most other people really see this issue the way he does?

Nobody sees the issue the way he does. This guy had a much higher opinion of you while he was trying to set up a date but now that you've rejected him you're a bad mother. Some people don't know how to handle the word no. He sees this issue as a means to lash back at you, not as a genuine ethical concern. Clearly you made the right choice in refusing to meet him and should follow through on that logic by rejecting his comments.

That being said:

- Being pro-legalization of marijuana: perfectly acceptable
- Being vocal about the legalization of marijuana: also acceptable
- Smoking marijuana: fine if you accept the consequences of getting caught
- Getting caught, getting arrested and explaining to your daughter why you're going to jail: this is where you lose my support.
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 95
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:10:39 PM
I also advocate medical marijuana
nexthyme, I think medical marijuana is a seperate arguement, which really has no bearing on the OP of this thread

I saw nothing in the OP's posts to indicate to me that she was refering to medical marijuana. She just seems to be a young woman who prefers to sit around and get stoned while proudly telling everyone she thinks she's a good parent.

If she had some medical issue, where marijuana may have some effect on her condition, it may be worth considering.
I don't believe she has any such condition. She's just deciding to smoke dope regularilly, rather than place her responsibilities as a parent ahead of her desire to get stoned.
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 97
Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:48:09 PM
Holly Crap People, You either are so nieve or ignorant to Pot, even a Surgeon has a piss poor comment. For one, Pot is not a mind altering Drug and it has not been proven, half the perscription you take are worse . This is BC where 70% smoke it. Don't listen to anyone but yourself, this world is fill with people that are not satified with their own lives and have to get involed in others to satify themselves. P.S. Don't even get me going on this cause half the critics are doing things worse then this.

Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 99
So whats Your Story?
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:53:28 PM
Hey Becarefull, Theres not a person I haven't been able to take their life apart to find out how screwed up they are or what they have done. Criminal Syndicate,lol You mean the Government and where did "Hash" come from, kinda gave your past away there. The Government always profits from this, why do you think they do nothing. Save your breath and comments and look at your own life.

Joined: 9/24/2006
Msg: 103
view profile
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 10:01:10 PM
WARNING: POF is full of straights, and probably some cops. Grass isn't just like a drink. Alcohol is 100 times worse. No one gets stoned and then beats up the wife and kids.
The way you describe yourself is very typical of a pothead mom... conscious, loving, and organic too.. just the kind that is real marriage material. 'nuff said.
But I will say that some one critical of that is a bad mate for you, and maybe for anyone. The world is full of dummies. When Bush needs to hire some more nazi prison guards, he has no trouble finding them.
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 109
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 11:25:48 PM
Who'da thunk that PoF included so many upstanding, law-abiding straight arrows. No wonder these forums are flooded with "Niceguy/girl" threads...we're surrounded by paragons of virtue!

Food for thought: Our American forefathers were breaking an awful lot of laws by revolting against British rule...hanging offenses. The Boston Tea Party? What a bunch of lawless hooligans. I'm grateful that they weren't so wussy as to meekly toe the legal line. Where would we be now without such blatant disregard for the law? All you drinkers out there have law breaking rum-runners, bootleggers, and common folks who liked a drink to thank for the repeal of prohibition. IMHO, peaceful resistance of unjust discrimination is as American as apple pie. Gandhi would be proud.

You're not a bad mother. On the contrary. I applaud you for daring to make your own choices, and your child will learn to make independent decisions as well. Some will be popular, some not. Such is life.

"The more laws, the more offenders."---Thomas Fuller
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 110
view profile
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 11:59:30 PM
wutznot2love yes surprise of all surprises I am a mother and a damn good one thank you...

My oldest is 24 has her bachelors in Fashion design and just got an AA in Business. My 2nd that's 21 is a pre med student, and my former step son is married with twin babies.

My youngest is 12, and does dang well in school, and is popular not because he is rich, snooty, or a bong head, but rather because he is a sweet boy, that is kind to others, and is happy being himself.

Thanks I happened to read all of this ladies posts, and she doesn't do pot while her child is around.

What I think is different than you, which doesn't make me a bad mother OR person, it just makes me less judgmental about being willing to step up to the plate and fight for something the person believes in, instead of ****ing to a forum and doing NOTHING.

If she came across as some beat down drug addict, I could see where she has a problem, however she doesn't come across that way in the least. She is getting an education, and taking care of her child. Her and her ex have a good working relationship, therefore she DOES think about her child.

Tell me, have you ever gotten pulled over for speeding? Drank to much and got behind the wheel? Took legal prescription meds and drove?
I have only gotten pulled over for speeding, past that, I work hard at "playing by the book", however I did take the time to study the issue of pot for the past several years, and learned a thing or two about it.

For your information about the state of Kentucky that she lives it It is conditional as to what kind of trouble a person gets into. As well a person driving on it doesn't even get pulled over, and given a DUID, as well her state has a Tax stamp for it.

With those conditions she is not looking at facing some sort of hard times, and loss of her child unless she was blowing smoke in her face, and doing something to indanger her child.

I am a very good judge of a person, and I don't get that from any of the posts she's made.

Try not to make assumptions that I think getting wasted and or drunk while your child/ren are home is acceptable, she never suggested that was HER lifestyle.

One can ask you, ever got drunk infront of your kids? Did you have the presense of mind it took to be an effective parent if you did? Ever take prescription pain meds, and your kids were at home depending upon your presense of mind?

I was an X ray tech for MANY years, and seen shit that turned my stomach and made me ill to think these people even bred. I have no respect for someone that does meth, cocaine or even cigerettes around their kids...

The op made a statement of a plateform she believes strongly, strong enough to get her self in trouble... If she believes general use isn't the end of the world, and is willing to fight for that right, then good for her.

If you don't, well GREAT, good for you, hope you are out right along side those that do think it should be legal and protesting, stating it shouldn't...

Dallas flier, I am not really sure what you are refering to... Do you think that a person on legal pain meds or alcohol are any less dangerous that say someone hitting the bong and driving? They are ALL lethal combinations...

Post 117, if she were sitting around getting stoned all the time, then how is she managing to be in school getting her degree?

I realize her post didn't say Medical marijuana, however I posted MY point of view, and WHY I got educated about the drug, because there was a time where I was just as mj illiterate as the next person that listened to the media, and all the brain washing propoganda they do when it doesn't finanacial benefit them... Do you think white lightening is legal?????? NOPE!!!!

Gee it is alchohol, that is supposed to be legal.... OH WAIT they aren't getting their cut of the profit so it is illegal.... Imgaine that...
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 111
view profile
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:03:09 AM
It's been long reported that the majority of psychiatric admissions are due to drug-induced psychosis. It's now accepted that cannabis use is a major cause of schizophrenia.. which doesn't go away when you stop using it, because of the permanent change in brain chemistry..
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 121
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 5:35:30 AM
OP, your first priority is your child. While you may be a good mother now, I'm sure you would be a better one if you found a more healthy way to unwind... exercise, yoga, dance, find a hobby you enjoy...

Breaking the law, whether you agree or not, is just putting yourself at risk.
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 122
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 6:04:00 AM
CrumblePie,, I'm afraid your right..
We the people seem to have lost the right to freedom AND PROGRESS...
The New World Order seems to have a death grip on north America..
Brainwashed citizens are the NORM...
The free thinkers are considered outlaws..
Funny thing is, that using a plant made by GOD is now a crime while using poison made in a lab is acceptable..
My great aunt that served in the Army, Air force, and the Coast Guard as well as having been a spy for the CIA, told me all about the evil powers that was taking over our government ..
She warned me about the inevitable loss of freedom in America..
She also told me about how Big Business had gotten a solid hold on government and would dictate what freedoms we would be allowed to keep, if any..

Look at how some of these people think here in the forums..
You can easily see that most will support anything the government tells them to support..
It doesn't matter how un-just or senseless it is..
If the government says it's so, they will follow it to the tee.
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 124
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 6:10:02 AM
Elaine, where in the world do you work with people who have become psychotic from smoking weed????
Excuse me, I have been in health care for twenty one years and never ever have I seen anyone become psychotic from smoking weed

Marijuana is known to increase the likelihood of developing psychosis and schizophrenia among youths.
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