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 dogs rule
Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 164
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.Page 4 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)

Okay, I come from a family where neither of my parents drink or do drugs. I have 4 sisters and a brother and none of them have every done any type of illegal substance... My daughter is NOT going to grow up to be a drug dealer because she has an amazing family (including myself) who won't accept that and will influence/help her become more... anyway, she's already decided to do the astronaut thing.

So you think a little kid deciding now to be an astronaut won't change her mind and decide to toke later in life. You say you won't accept that from her but yet you accept that behavior from yourself. We need to lead by example.


That's not it at all. For me, it's the fact that my own God given, natural, human rights are being infringed upon by complete strangers who I don't even like most of the time

Are you listening to yourself? It's the law, we all have to follow the laws weather we agree with them or not. I want to drive at 100 miles per hour and not wear a seat belt. Who are they to tell me I can't. But if I do it, I get a ticket and have to pay a fine. And your studying criminal justice? Are you toking before your classes? As I said before, if your not happy with you government then move to another country. I for one am glad that pot is not legal and support my government even with the laws I would rather not have.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 165
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:56:33 PM

post, I'm with you 100%. Whether its healthy or not, or any of the other side issues which have been raised here, are irrelevant and none of our business.

The only disagreement I have with what you said is I side with the former, not the latter. For one and ONLY one reason - the welfare of her child. Were she doing this on her own, not as a single parent caring for a 6 year old child; then I'd side with the latter also. I only side with the former because the illegality could result in arrest, imprisonment, loss of her job, or loss of her child. IMHO, she's not considering the welfare of the child, and putting that child first - by smoking "more than 3 times a week" when she is the sole care-giver for that child 6 days a week.

Thanks, Dallas ~ you saved me a diatribe and a few carpel-tunnel-free moments.


~OP~ It's illegal. Nuff said.
JMO
 IMaPA
Joined: 2/2/2007
Msg: 170
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:45:34 PM
Great points Ebony Jo.

Yes, you are a bad mother. A bad mother doesn't break the law. She doesn't get high (I haven't bothered to read all the posts to see if you do this when you have custody of your daughter, but my bet is you do) and lose control of herself and endanger herself and others. You have to get the pot some where, so unless you're growing your own (a felony) you're having to buy it from a drug dealer, thereby exposing yourself and your daughter to dangers you have no clue about. Your mind has been altered by the drugs and like any junkie you can justify and "explain" what you do, why you do what you do.

If I knew who you were, I'd report you to CPS and have your daughter removed from you. If your ex had any sense, he would do the same.
 twocycles
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 171
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:48:43 PM
OP - its your God given right to be able to get high? What about people who feel its their God given right to practice a religion that sacrifices animals? There's a LOT of 'God given rights' that our society takes away from us to keep us civil, and whether this one is right or wrong, this society has taken away pot-smoking.

A see quite a few problems with your need to smoke :

o Its illegal, and you have to deal with people doing illegal things, who generally aren't the crowd you would want around a child.
o You daughter WILL find out if she doesn't know already. How could you possibly tell her drugs are wrong if YOU are doing them? She will think pot is perfectly OK. Then whats wrong with a little crack - after all, Mom says occasional drugs are OK. And why not try heroin ?
o Say you are high when she goes into convulsions, or has an accident. How great a driver will you be getting to a hospital or calling for help?
o You better HOPE your ex doesn't know, or doesn't get pissed off at you, because he could VERY EASILY take your daughter away. EVERY judge in the country will remove her from your custody because you engage in illegal activities that endanger her life!

I think its time to grow up!! You had your chance to party when you were sans child. Now its time to be an adult. It was your choice to become a mother, now act like one.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 172
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:54:43 PM
~OP~ Ebony has 10 years on you, I have 20, and Dallas has nearly 30. Assumptions? I think not. The School of Reality is much more like it. I had a pot-smoking mom. It was the 70's and seemingly "acceptable." I will NEVER forget how it felt and how others perceived my mother. Not good. All these years later, it's still a spot of contention for me and there isn't much I don't remember about those days and her lifestyle. That comment comes from your daughter's future views on how "good" of a mother you were or were not. In addition, even if pot were legalized, it wouldn't be legal without a prescription. Get one and go wild, otherwise ~ sober up and do what you profess to already be doing: being a good mother and role model. JMO
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 173
Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/18/2008 2:28:32 PM

Ok fine allow people to make their own decisions and waste their lives away on drugs. But then why are my tax dollars paying for these people to live and get treatments and yet they are still out there stealing to buy more drugs.


Mainly because you thing drugs should be illegal.

-------
The Department of Justice reported that by Sept. 30, 2006, federal prisons held a total of 176,268 inmates, of whom 93,751 (53%) were drug offenders. By comparison in 2000 federal prisons held 131,739 total inmates of whom 74,276 (56%) were drug offenders, and in 1995 federal prisons held a total of 88,658 inmates of whom 52,782 (60%) were drug offenders.

Source: Sabol, William J., PhD, Couture, Heather, and Harrison, Paige M., Bureau of Justice Statistics, Prisoners in 2006 (Washington, DC: US Department of Justice, December 2007), NCJ219416, p. 26, Appendix Table 13; and Harrison, Paige M. & Allen J. Beck, PhD, US Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Prisoners in 2005 (Washington, DC: US Department of Justice, November 2006), p. 10, Table 14.
--------
In 2006, drug law violators comprised 19.6% of all adults serving time in State prisons - 249,400 out of 1,274,600 State prison inmates.

Source: Sabol, William J., PhD, Couture, Heather, and Harrison, Paige M., Bureau of Justice Statistics, Prisoners in 2006 (Washington, DC: US Department of Justice, December 2007), NCJ219416, p. 24, Appendix Table 9, and p. 25, Appendix Table 10.
---------

Alcohol is a drug. It's classified as a sedative-hypnotic. It's far more dangerous than pot (and quite a few other drugs.) It's addictive. Alcohol addicts can die from sudden withdrawl. Your tax dollars spent on the effects of alcohol may be found at:

http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/economic-2000/

If I had kids, I'd rather they smoke pot or do several drugs other than aldohol for a buzz.



Should they also be able to decide to kill people, why should our government tell them they can't?


I think being willfully ineducable ought to be an offense, but it's a free country (at least for that.)
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 174
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 2:37:55 PM

Very first drug is usually a little weed.


Sorry to rain on your parade, but the very first drug is probably alcohol, excluding narcotics for pain, amphetamines for ADD, etc. Yes, those pain killers and ampetamines are the same ones for which you claim pot is a gateway drug. The pharmacology is not altered by writing a prescription.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 175
Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/18/2008 2:42:30 PM
Sorry, double post. Opps!!
 twocycles
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 177
Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/18/2008 2:50:20 PM
Something on this forum triggered this thought :

Say a parent goes to a babysitters house to drop their kid off for the evening. The babysitter says 'Go have fun, I'm going to smoke some weed while you're out.' Would ANY PARENT (even those that partake) actually leave their child there!?!?!?

Guess what *Dustie* - YOU are that babysitter - THREE times a week!!
 Ferruginous
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 178
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 2:57:14 PM
My daughter is NOT going to grow up to be a drug dealer because she has an amazing family (including myself) who won't accept that and will influence/help her become more... anyway, she's already decided to do the astronaut thing.
Just because a 6 year old tells you she's decided to be an astronaut, doesn't mean that's she's obviously set in her career, and you can now abandon your responsibilities as a parent.
Don't all 6 year olds want to be astronauts at some point? When I was 6, I wanted to be an astronaut, and then a fireman, and then a cowboy, and then a race car driver and then a hockey player , and then...

Not many 6 year olds say they are going to be a drug-dealer when they grow up.
But quite a few 6 year olds eagerly decide they want to be astronauts.
Interestingly, hundreds more kids eventually end up becoming drug-dealers than astronauts.

And quite a few kids who grew up to become drug-dealers, (or crack-addicts, or hookers, or car thieves, or horse thieves, or corrupt politicians or train trobbers, ....) grew up in homes where the parents thought they were an amazing family.


I wonder how many astronauts grew up in homes where the parent's substance abuse was a priority over parenting responsibilities?
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 180
view profile
History
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 3:21:05 PM
You say you don't hide it from anyone, I haven't read the entire thread but I assume that includes your daughter who will soon be copying your behavior if she isn't already! I grew up in the day when "everyone" smoked pot (except Bill Clinton who didn't inhale) and many, not all, but many, went on to other drugs. My ex went on to the big H and was a waste skin addict most of his wasted life. What you are doing is illegal for many reasons, one of them being that you could have your daughter taken away from you. Is smoking worth that to you, I urge you to consider your daughter's future if you love her as much as you claim.
 SweetnSassyNatureLover
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 181
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 4:04:45 PM
I am laughing at ten pages of people trying to tell this pothead why not to smoke pot. She is attention seeking, she asked for opinions ect. but clearly wants to argue her point and convince everyone that she is not wrong. On top of that she is only 24, her profile states all her children are over 18 (can't even count).

OP I believe everyone has a right to stand up for what they believe in. But you seem to think that is by far more important then the welfare of your daughter. And do you NOT realize that smoking pot definitely puts her at risk - in many ways including being taken and put in the foster care system. Why? Because what you are doing, regardless of whether YOU believe it is right or wrong, is AGAINST THE LAW. If you don't like the law get ACTIVE and lobby for new laws. But what you are doing is negligent and selfish if only for the mere fact it's illegal and can cause you to lose your daughter.

Bottom line honey, your being an idiot with your daughter. What you do with your own life is your business, but you have no right to endanger her. I speak from having lost a sister near your age to alcohol and pot.

She believed the same as you, and she was not a bad mom in every other area. But as in your case, she felt she knew better then anyone. She died right before her sons fourth bday. She was slightly stoned and driving home and crashed. Now before you deny you'd ever do this, I don't want to hear it. Smoking pot takes away your judgement period and you can blow smoke all you want, that fact doesn't change. The only blessing was her son was not with her (a miracle) when it happened. He will never know his mother, and I have lost my sister. I loved her more then I can say and the pain doesn't go away. My nephew has slowly forgotten the mother that adored him. I don't think his life today will ever be as good as if he had his mother.

Your young and arrogant and think you have all the answers. I hope it doesn't take losing your daughter, your or her life, jail or whatever to wake up. It's not just you. And you can feed yourself all the bull you want, she IS influenced by what you are doing. And not in the right way.

 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 182
view profile
History
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 4:21:43 PM
Think about what would happen if something happened to her while she was with you...would you be capable of knowing what to do and ACTING wisely? It's called "under the influence" for a reason. What if you got arrested? Who's going to care for her?

You just can't fulfill your obligation to her as her caretaker if your judgment is impaired. You can hope nothing like that happens, but you have to consider that it might. Maybe that'll influence how seriously you take your "mothering".
 highincidence
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 186
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 4:45:57 PM
I'd have to say that youre definitely not the best mother you could be if you are smoking pot.
As others have said:
1. It's illegal. Whether or not it should be doesn't enter into the equation because those who can control your future really won't give a hoot what your stance on things is . If somebody reported you to law enforcement, I don't think that child services would feel too much pity because it "should be" legal..
2. You are setting a bad example for your daughter. "Drugs" of any kind are bad for your health, and here you are showing her that it's ok for her mom to do. Kids don't buy into the "do as I say, not as I do" thing. You're pretty much setting her up to be a user too.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 190
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 5:07:55 PM
It's always easy to justify what you think is right by putting someone else down.

Isn't it though???

Not "everyone" just maybe everyone you knew.



~OT~ I think the truth was told previously ~ this particular poster thought the vast majority of posters would succumb to her ideology. That may be age ~ or not, I have spent times in these pot-threads before, and I must say ~ it does appear this group of posters have an entirely different (logical) stance on this subject. Nice to see the evolution of the proverbial, "It's an herb" debate!
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 191
view profile
History
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 5:13:53 PM
I haven't seen where anyone's mentioned this (if so apologize for repeating).

It could affect your ability to find or keep employment. Most employers require a drug test prior to hiring and it's important to them because they get a big discount on their WC Insurance if they're DFWP. Also if there is a job-related accident or injury, they are required to have the employee drug tested and many companies have their employees sign a release to do random tests. It may not have affected you yet, but something to keep in mind.

Not really totally up on the confidentiality laws, but if you get flagged it could be hard to find a decent job in the future.
 JohnEDeep
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 193
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 5:24:41 PM

Cool! So does that mean I can go out and start castrating child molestors so that some day the government will legalize the practice?


I don't have any objection to that...Anybody? Anyone at all?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lighten up, people...it's not like she's setting up a meth lab in your neighborhood and letting her child play in toxic waste.The vehemence of some responses here is amazing. I hereby dub this phenomenon...

"Reefer Madness"!

 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 195
view profile
History
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 5:29:35 PM
Damo167, I like your post and a lot..

MOST people who smoke a bit o weed aren't down cast losers, that don't hold jobs, and are reefing on the American Tax Payers dollar, nope, in fact if you need statistics you will find that those #'s are high for those doing the hard stuff, and or alcoholics.

It is those that can't handle drugs in general that get caught up in the mess... Just as the same as it is for those that get addicted to any other dang thing that is out there including sex, bad relationships, over exercising, spending more than they have, and the list goes on...

Dustie, it IS a tough road to be an advocate... I know, because even though I live in a state where Medical MJ is legal, there are still some strong minded opponents that will give a person a raft of crap for the whole thing.

One day I went to the bank and the teller ask me what I was going to school for, I rambled off for what, then told my future goals were legal advocacy and advocacy for medical mj... I said that part rather quiet... The best advice she gave to me was NOT to be ashamed of standing up for something I believed in, and to state it out loud... There will be people that don't agree, BUT if I am going to advocate for something I believe in, then I better be willing to state so and out loud...

You have done well, because you have gotten beaten over the head, flogged and even threatened...


listen goodmother, have the courage of your convictions. it does not matter what i or anyone else thinks. all that counts is that you bring up a well balanced, bright, articulate, questioning and empaphising child, qualities some of your correspondants sadly seem to lack.
ps don't get caught.



This Bloke has some really good advice...

As for the person who says he believes in casterating child molesters... HMMMMM can we actually compare apples to oranges and things equate equally by doing so???? The most you have is two fruits with fructos, past that yeah...

And for the smokers that say they take responsibility for smoking...Really, so when your lungs crap out are a burden to the health care system, your insurance cancels because it is just to expensive to cover self induced damage who covers that???

At least with smoking MJ, if the user is smart, they can do it smokeless by use of an inhaler, and NOT have ANY tar, or other smoke related carcinogens...

It is all about balance, and sometimes what some people believe in is not going to agree with someone else... However it doesn't make one better over the other, just different...
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 197
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 6:21:28 PM

not to mention the fact that you make the rest of us breath your second hand smoke (including your children) and what about the example you set for them?


A) I don't force you to breathe...stop whenever you wish! ;O)

B) Some of us tobacco junkies are courteous smokers.

C) Yes...it is an addiction...but a LEGAL one, thank you.


Just because it is legal makes it alright for you to tell this woman that what she does in private is illegal and that she is a bad mother?


Hell-loooowwww?! SHE posted in a PUBLIC forum, dipsh1t! If she did not want a variety of opinions, she should not have asked. If she only wanted sweet and cushy opinions to her liking...then she should have posted such in a forum of pro-legalization freaks!
 Sethfire
Joined: 1/22/2005
Msg: 199
view profile
History
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:13:11 PM
( Anjin74 ) thats because thats just how selfish most women are... It makes know sense how she can drink being pragent and drink while she is breast feeding but your not allowed to toot, why is that because alcohol is legal and the other is not perfect example of how controlling selfish women are...its ok for them to do things but not for men to be able to do things ....its good she is your ex that you dont have to put up with her bull anymore. She is weak to do that to you as far as im concerned......alcohol kills, toot does not..whats wrong with the picture their...only reason why alcohol is legal is because are suckie goverment can get there part.......
 lonesome wonderer
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 201
view profile
History
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:30:40 PM
dusty, without reading the entire thread......from what i've read you're not a bad mom. some guys might think differently because of smoking the weed but as long as your daughter doesn't see you smoking or high then there's nothing wrong. if a guy's against smoking weed then why even contact someone that smokes.....it's like if a guy doesn't drink why contact a woman that drinks daily and vise versa for both things. i do remember some women in the 70's that used to smoke including a mother of 3 girls that i used to hang out with. she would sit with her daughters before saying the rosary and smoke a joint. she believed that smoking a joint once a day is a lot healthier than smoking a pack of cigarettes.

as long as you spend quality time with your daughter and do what a mother's supposed to do with raising her child(ren) then you're not a bad mom at all!
 ropemcowboy49
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 202
view profile
History
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:31:56 PM
If you had to chose between your daughter and mar. what would you chose? just quit it. I actually had a good friend who lost his job due to it and then lost his life . now his young kids will nevr see him again but what the hell its just mar. think about that one.
 mr.amoree
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 205
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 8:23:13 PM
i don't think that overall you are a bad mother but you are definately making a mistake.

you buy the mj from someone and it could be an undercover cop. you have to go to certain neighborhoods to obtain this. they could be dangerous. you could be arrested. your name could be on the police blotter of the local newspaper. your daughter's friend's parents could see the item in the paper and she could be austrasized or shunned or made fun of. you could easily lose your job and ability to provide for her.

smoking anything could reach your daughter's lungs. you could be high while driving and injure yourself or your daughter. while high you are an addle brained zombie incapable of performing 100%. have i said enough?

mj should never ever be legalized. we have enough americans in a coma now texting each other all day.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 211
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 1:18:05 AM

Can anyone spell LOSER?


H-I-P-P-I-E-4-0!

You're advocating it's okay for a mother, who is the primary care-giver to a young child, get herself 'wasted' 3 times a week.

It's no different from her going to the pub a getting 'four sheets to the wind' 3 times a week. She is still not in a fit state to look after the child when she's stoned, regardless of whether the child is sleeping or not.

The OP has asked for opinions and she's got them from both sides of the argument.

Besides the fact it's illegal, nobody has yet mentioned being stoned makes you a very boring person to be around, just ask Hippie!
 mickance
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 212
I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 1:33:15 AM
bad laws do not make a bad mother bad laws make criminals out of the innocent !


when will people begin to understand that drugs are neither good nor bad but used in a good or bad way and that drugs are not evil and there is a massive ,,yes massive difference between use and abuse .
mental health is the issue here and way too many people play with statistics like saying that people who use marijuana are more likley to suffer schizophrenia ,,,,,,yet surely people who suffer schitzophrenia and minor mental health issues such as depression use marijuana for self medication ,,,,,,its easy to balme marijuana for pre existing issues .
freedom of choice ,,,freedom of judgement by fools and idiots and born again loonies
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