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 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 172
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?Page 10 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Normally, I read all the posts before adding my own. Not this time, as I have read all I could stomach of the disdain and disgust seemingly all (there are some exceptions) of the women here have expressed for men over 40.

OP- Reading your OT reminded me of Hillary's continual complaining that her media coverage was unfair.
My answer to your title question: No, not harder, just smarter. Of course, if like many of the women who have contributed to this vitriolic thread, you have lost interest in men, then enjoy your bonbons. Pftt.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 173
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Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 11/10/2008 2:22:28 PM
Ohhh I don't know Wind, I think it's about a third in both sexes being blessed with decent genes..... but it is the luck of the draw and some hard work too for some I'm sure !

And I can empathize with you too Diamond, but if I were in your shoes I wouldn't bother with the old coots who don't appreciate much of anything and feel entitled to Texas (and they can be totally broke too ) in the grand scheme of things. It is odd isn't it that we feel and see the years and they really do remain entombed in that magic mirror until they croak ...... makes you want to grab 'em by those hairy ears until they see the light however.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 175
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Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 11/10/2008 2:27:51 PM
Oh Whyt don't be so naive now ........ you've been here long enough to know how hard and how often we get bashed for our very existence and our age......as if the men don't age or lose their hair or get pudgy or scrawny etc etc....just like some of us! We can't all be Diamondgirl.
The reality is that we with all our imperfections are willing to put up with all your imperfections.....if you're a good soul, because we know what's really important.
And that is NOT the case with many, many men. , you know it's true.

 tjliddell
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 180
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Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 11/10/2008 9:19:01 PM
Well heck.. I don't look to bad for being a 42 yr old mother of three grown daughters,
1 Grandson with another grand baby on the way.. and I feel pretty good about myself

Granted I'm no porn star or movie queen, but I know when I put on my jeans and t-shirts
I will still get looked at.. whether my hair is down or all dolled up.. and believe me
I do not get all dolled up to often.. and when I do its just a touch of eyeshadow and mascara.
do not need all the war paint (pardon the pun) that most (not all) women seem to think
they need...


and when I stopped looking for boyfriend one showed up one night about 3 months ago
and we are still going strong..
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 182
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Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 11/11/2008 8:17:29 AM

I keep asking in the suggestion forum that they add Grumpy Old Goatfish to the list of fishies so i have a proper Icon!!


I would take a grumpy ole goatfish in a heartbeat as long as he was a sincere one! lol. Some o these other fishees are simply too smooth for this ole grouper!
Do I work at myself harder now that I am older? Good question really. And I think that perhaps I can say that yes, I do! But am not talking about the physical appearance quite as much as I am working on the person I am on the inside. No time like the present to enhance ourselves to be all that we can be, both inside and out!
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 183
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 11/11/2008 8:41:52 AM

Hmmmmmm, not sure if I should do this. I blew by it all, just going by the title.


Lol. Right! And Sam Ervin really was just a country lawyer. You have done your homework.
I've thrown a pot or two, and am better for it.
And there is plenty of room in my world for smart witches, too.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 184
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 11/11/2008 8:43:18 AM

Hmmmmmm, not sure if I should do this. I blew by it all, just going by the title.

Do I need to work harder at 45? HELL NO! Reason why? Because I know who I am, I like who I am, and if others don't like it, they can go pee up a rope, I just don't care.......

I'm not here to satify others, I'm here to do my time(on earth) to the best of MY ability, not what others would have me do.

I look better, feel better and by far, MUCH smarter to know that I don't have to take any crap any longer. Does that make me a cold witch, lol, no, just a smart witch



...Come on....spit it out....what are you trying to say? Welcome back.

How can I possibly add to that? One thing I've noticed...the pounds don't come off quite as easy...I'm now forced to exercise...aaargh

...maeflowers
 ralfee
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 188
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 11/11/2008 12:21:03 PM
I have found that online dating services are filled with men that really if you look at their pictures, do not seem to care about how they look but want that babe that is slender or athletic. When I got divorced, did not realize that the main question would be "what will you do for me in bed?" - not dating -not talking but wham bam! thank you ma'am.
Sure I have gained some weight since my car accident - sure I am starting to look older but at 55 I am told I look younger and have a fun personality. Other women that I know think I should have it made but not!!!! It is a scarey world out there trying to meet guys that want to have fun and enjoy life. Maybe my standards have changed since I was in my 20's but I like to date a few times to get to know them first before jumping in bed. If they are not being careful and going to bed with lots of other women - why would I want to be with them? Chances of hiv and stds are higher than when I was younger so I have to be much more picky.
 fuclub
Joined: 10/31/2008
Msg: 189
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 11/11/2008 1:27:54 PM
desert wildflower, yeah sweetie, this isnt a tricky question, the word is "Money". Women care and men dont. Thats why old guys get young chicks when poor men get nothing. Also, I think older women can be very attractive and less plastic-looking. And if nothing else, because maybe their ego has been put in its place unlike young women, which makes them enormously more attractive and, yes, sexy.
 SandraB56
Joined: 10/16/2008
Msg: 191
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 11/11/2008 8:04:23 PM
This thread has been hilarious... I never knew so many people men and women get so uptight about a subject on here like this. I have been laughing and giggling reading most of these posts for over an hour now. Jeez what a load of BS to get upset about. I have a male friend (just a friend nothing else) who 's 54 and is single and rides a motorcycle and has an attitude. I asked him recently why he chased after young bimbos that were too young for him? His reply was "Because I can" He went on to say if a pretty young thing came on to him did you think he's reply Heck no you're too young for me. He said I'd think I'd died and gone to heaven especially after I'd shagged her. I laughed but realised later it is precisely his attitude that lets him get away with that. Just because he can.

We women over 45, I am 52 by the way going on 53, have to come up with that same attitude and confidence. Ok the 35 yr old Blondie may catch his eyes but then again can she cook? can she sew? can she string together enough words to make sense and keep him laughing? I'm sure us older women have seen it all and if we have not well let's see what around the next corner. LOL.
I divorced at 45, changed careers, moved and went back to work full time. But I also took a motorcycle course, rode on a small Road Trip by myself and have had so much
more fun in the last 7 yrs than all my other yrs .

Sure I'd like someone to grow old with together, to join in having fun and sex with during those alone times . But in the meantime I'm just going to keep busy catching up on all the things I want to do and learn and have fun while this body of mine still can - because I can too.
Sally.
 tjliddell
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 193
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Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 11/12/2008 10:35:29 AM
TBH= To Be Honest
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 196
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 11/12/2008 6:21:38 PM

Oh! There is nothing -- NOTHING! -- wrong with leopard print shoes. There may be plenty of wrong clothing choices for women of certain ages or sizes but don't diss the shoes.



...I know what you mean....I spotted an incredible looking pair at Winners last week...but alas, I live in Southern Alberta and the time for walking around in heels has passed. It's time to pull out the parkas and toques


...maeflowers
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 197
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Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 11/12/2008 6:35:43 PM
Everyone, regardless of age wants to look their best. My Mom is over 80, isnt looking for anyone and always looks well groomed, nails polished, clothes fresh and she's stylish.

Anyone attracked to "bad lifestyles" has more problems than a bad hair day.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 199
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 11/12/2008 8:23:37 PM
Oh pirate, you are such a charmer!

Uh huh.
Society seems to think that we need to, but sometimes it isn't worth it. This is why some women have travel buddies, boy toys, hobbies and other more worthy purposes that are considered time better spent.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 201
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 11/12/2008 10:43:08 PM
lol Samuri...that was good, what I thought from the title to.

I personally am finding more offers of dates now than when I was younger...so I dont really think it is an age related thing...I think it is more an attitude related thing.

If you feel you arent where you need to be in life and not comfortable in your own skin then that will show and people will bypass you. When you love and accept yourself then others will want to get to know you....and the beauty is it works for members of both sexes. I see a man who is close to my age with grey in his hair and I think its hot!While I can appreciate the skin of the youth I love the mind of a man my own age. Those eyes of discernment are just ripe to be lost in.

I think some men like different age women, I think just as many women like different age men...some are just more vocal about how much they dislike the members of the opposite sex liking someone younger than they are. They find it hard to believe that certain type of people like younger aged people, and so the issue cant be with them but with those doing it. Remember when you point your finger at someone you have three pointing back at ya.
 catman50
Joined: 9/9/2008
Msg: 202
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 11/13/2008 6:35:00 AM
I don't think ANY of you ladies need to work on your looks . YOU ALL good . Wish I could find you in wisconsin .
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 204
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 11/13/2008 8:19:33 PM

If someone would only be attracted to me if I worked my butt off to try to keep looking 45 instead of the 58 years old that I am, then he's not someone I would want to love and have fun with. Age happens. Get over it is my motto. I'm more interested in enjoying the rest of my life then looking good............If I can accept his pot belly and gray hair, he can see past my age flaws and accept me, too!


...You have a very youthful appearance and I think you are one of the lucky ones that don't need to work too hard to look good....whatever it is that you're doing, it's working for you.

...maeflowers
 lowmiles2
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 208
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 1/11/2013 10:09:50 AM
No... not at all. If you let yourself go than consider your options limited not exhausted.
 KneadyOne
Joined: 5/14/2010
Msg: 209
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 1/11/2013 7:06:09 PM
Oh it just isn't fair is it?

AS I look back at the different stages of life, specifically mine.......in school, it was the chearleaders and the jocks that got all the attention and the action.
By the time the ten year reunion rolled around, those perky little chearleaders weren't so perky anymore, the jocks had a hard time tying their shoelaces,
Now that the 40 year reunions are here, the chearleaders have turned into football players, and the players look like sumo wrestlers.

So to all the princessess and lotharios, ye who looked down their noses at us shrimps and twigs, it's our time now, and I really do chuckle about how hard it is for you all to accept that you're not the center of attention anymore.

Like a previous poster said, "boo friggin hoo".....your looks carried you this far, now you gotta look at your attitude.
 SweetHeartedLady
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 210
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 1/11/2013 7:23:36 PM
The men I meet are more worried about staying in shape... they go to the gym 5 days a week..

But sadly they do not read books or such in my area.. they are too into their looks and tight bodies.

Or the others are way overweight and still not too bright..

I live in odd section of new york. .. :)

I do not think there are double-standards here... the men are just insecure about their looks..

I looong for balance.. body * soul * mind and financial stable and into their spirituality.

I have not found that balance in any man I've met so far.. not around here.

Staten Island is the forgotten borough of nyc in many ways.. (yet very pretty with so many trees & peaceful).

Just a lot of dumb hunks (sweet but dumb)
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 211
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 1/11/2013 7:48:39 PM
Sweetheart, if you can't find decent guys in nyc, you can't find them anywhere.
 anita_lay
Joined: 12/19/2012
Msg: 212
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Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 1/11/2013 9:00:39 PM
I agree with Paumanok on page 8

It's not all that hard to lose weight and get in better shape physically. It is all but impossible to recover a personality from years of bigotry, or to make a cold heart glow warmly.

If we haven't learned by now that - no matter how hard we try to turn back the clock - we age, than there's something fundamentally lacking.
It's called depth.
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 213
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 1/11/2013 9:14:20 PM
When I see couples lookwise body wise matches to each other I dont pay much attention but if I see a younger beautiful woman with an older fatter unattractive guy I start wondering what must be the reason. surprisingly I never see a young handsome guy with an older unattractive woman out there . So it is true that most men in general dont care about their appearance after certain age but still want to date younger beautiful women. I dont blame them but they should atleast look once in a while in the mirror and see if they like themselves :)
 SweetHeartedLady
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 214
Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 1/12/2013 11:00:28 AM
I've been trying to date very very locally.. & that is the problem in the borough of nyc where I live.
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