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 Hodgie G
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 111
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hell i would not know the difference i have no clue how they are measured i would just take your word for it
 Robitty
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 122
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Posted: 7/15/2008 7:46:24 AM
So what exactly is a date anyways????
 smartazzjohn
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 124
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Posted: 7/15/2008 8:19:39 AM
As a service to all the women on here who have had bad dates I'm going to offer , for the sake of forgetting the past and looking forward to the future, the following.

If anyone would like a date with me let me know. I will be more than happy to go out with you but you must understand that I'm doing this so every other date you've ever had was a good one in comparison. I do require a few things before this date will occur.

1) You must send me gas mileage money @ $1.50 per mile.
2) You must take me to an expensive restaurant and pay for it. Its only fair since you are asking me out. I don’t want you to think I’m cheap so I will pay for the tip up to 1% of the total charges.
3) You must remain a lady at all times and not get mad when I make rude comments about how you look.
4) You must accept the fact that I am going to stare at every other woman while we are on this date and may try to hook up with the ones I feel are hot.
5) You must understand that I may never look you in the eye and may talk to chest all night long.
6) You must understand that I have a duty as a man to try and have sex with you on this date if I find you attractive. It is my choice, and my choice only for this to occur.
7) You must understand I have a great command of the English language. To prove this I will use the “F” word as an adjective, noun and verb in the same sentence several time throughout the night.
8) You must understand that if a better offer comes from another woman I’m going to stand you up without calling. You should get mad at the other woman and not me, its her fault not mine.


These are only 8 of the things I would be willing to do to provide you with a means of forgetting the past. I am sure I will be able to employ more tactics that I feel you will find offensive once we are on this date. It will be personalized for each individual. No thanks are needed at this time as I am sure you all appreciate what I am willing to doing for all of you.
 Hodgie G
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 126
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Posted: 7/15/2008 8:55:34 AM
john thats soooooo good could you make up a complete list and post it to help us other guys out with our dates tooo
 smartazzjohn
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 127
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Posted: 7/15/2008 10:58:47 AM
"AHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHA! I sure do love your sense of humor John. "

I'm always serious on here, ask anyone who has seen me post in the past. Better yet I can send you a couple of references who I've met.
 Hodgie G
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 128
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Posted: 7/15/2008 11:17:31 AM
bet you had them drive all they way over to your house and even pick you up some food on the way over
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 129
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Posted: 7/15/2008 11:19:12 AM
If anyone would like a date with me let me know. I will be more than happy to go out with you but you must understand that I'm doing this so every other date you've ever had was a good one in comparison.

1) You must do all the driving in your car, and pay for all the gas.
2) You must take me to an expensive restaurant and pay for it, whether it was me who asked you out or not. A true gentleman will also pay the tip.
3) You must remain a man at all times and not get mad when I make rude comments about how you are dressed, which silverware to use, where to place your napkin. You know men just do not know these things. You need to be reminded and id be happy to constantly chastice you for inappropriate restaraunt behavior.
4) You must accept the fact that I am going to stare at every other manwhile we are on this date and may try to hook up with the ones I feel are hot.
5) You must understand that I may never look you in the eye and may talk to your.....um...uh... all night long.
6) You must understand that I have a duty as a woman to try and tease you on this date if I find you attractive. You just have to accept it, and know that i wont be following thru with it.
7) You must understand I have a great command of the English language. To prove this I will use the "M" word several time throughout the night. I know this word scares most men but,,,,deal with it.
8) You must understand that if a better offer comes from another man I’m going to stand you up without calling. You should get mad at the other man and not me, its his fault not mine.


Thanks, John! Now both genders have a great list to abide by! lolol
 _countrygirl
Joined: 11/21/2007
Msg: 131
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Posted: 7/15/2008 1:25:17 PM
OMG John I have found my dream man.Date me Date me !!!!LOL
 Robitty
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 135
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Posted: 7/15/2008 7:44:21 PM
Forget it john.....I'm going with Rip's list...although your's was amusing.....hers was spectacular!!!!!
I especially loved the part about telling him what silverware to use and using the m word Rip....
Thanks for helping her out with that Johnnycakes!!!!
1% of the total bill indeed!!!!!
1.50 a mile double indeed!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh......I really really needed a laugh today...I'm so glad I came here tonight....you guys truly are the funniest!
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 136
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Posted: 7/16/2008 8:25:25 AM
LMAO woohoooooooo lighthouse! Your list ROCKS! lolol See Johnnypoo,,we can play too!! lolol

Robin! LOLOL Yanno,,i wasnt half lying when i mentioned the silverware, napkin and the 'M' word!
 smartazzjohn
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 137
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Posted: 7/16/2008 10:20:49 AM
ummmmmm rip and LHL I don't know want you to think I'm something special, lord knows I don't, but most of the things you have mentioned that you want a man to do on a date is what I do.

Rip the "M" word(s) doesn't scare me. It does get old when the person you are out with keeps mentioning it/them. The fact that everything sentence they speak revolves around the words "ME, MY and MINE" doesn't scare me in least but it sure indicates a little something about them.

I think maybe its time that I should start being more concerned about MY wants and start thinking the world revolves around ME. After all this life is MINE to live anyway I see fit.

Naw, I'm just not built that way, I'll keep trying to what is right even when it might not be what is best for me.
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 138
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Posted: 7/16/2008 11:10:58 AM
Um John? The 'M' word i was referring to wasnt 'ME, MY nor MINE'. LOL The dreaded 'M' word that 'most' men hate to hear is......MARRIAGE!!
 smartazzjohn
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 139
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Posted: 7/16/2008 11:40:53 AM
um rip? Do you really think that I didn't know what "M" word you were making reference to?

I do find it curious that you have now refered to it as "The dreaded 'M' word". Perhaps it is you who fears it.
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 140
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Posted: 7/16/2008 11:53:39 AM
Nah John,,id love to be married someday...........in the year 2078 lolol

So John,,when ya gonna make me post my Best Date huh? lolol
 smartazzjohn
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 141
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Posted: 7/16/2008 1:38:42 PM
rip I have never and would never, even if I had the ablility to so, make you post anything or try to stop you from expressing yourself through this venue.

I do however have the ablility to disagree with you and have done so in the past.
 2ofcup
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 148
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Posted: 7/17/2008 3:16:12 PM
Not the worst but ranks right up there.

I had been emailing/talking to this woman for about 3weeks.One email she tells me that she feels comfortable enough to meet me. So we set a date.
She shows up at 7:30 like we agreed...
I held out my hand and said hello, just as I say it , some other guy calls her by name, she looks at him and says” Oh my Jim I’ didn’t think you were coming tonight so I made plans with this guy here(I didn’t even rate being called by my name)
Jim says” that’s ok Sue I understand, I should have called and confirmed” he looks at me says” I’m sorry for making this awkward for you”. Before I could say anything she blurts out “Jim I’d much rather be here with you”………keep in mind I’m holding the door open and there has to be about 10/15 people standing there in front of this restaurant
They walk in …I’m still holding the door……this complete stranger gets up walks over to me and says” Man I think you need a hug”….the young couple sitting on the bench watching this whole deal go down, the woman says to the guy…”don’t ever call me cold again.
.........3 weeks after this I get a call from her asking if I would be willing to try agian...
 Robitty
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 149
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Posted: 7/17/2008 4:30:20 PM
Ummmm John....please tell me that you didn't miss Rip's hint of wanting you to give her the best date ever to post on here!

2ofcup...I hope you laughed and then gently hung up the phone
 kath762
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 150
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Posted: 7/17/2008 4:40:58 PM
I am sorry to hear that happened to you. That was pretty rotten of her.
 smartazzjohn
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 154
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Posted: 7/18/2008 12:09:21 PM
2ofcup.....I am assuming that this happened near where you live which is too bad. I might enjoy having a little fun with that female, I refuse to call her a lady. I'm sure I could get one of the ladies here to assist me in an endevour to show her just how it feels to be treated in such a manner.

Plus it might be a bonus for me. Such an endevour could possibly to turn into the best date I ever had.
 Robitty
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 163
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Posted: 7/18/2008 2:26:23 PM
Geez oh petes tnman...you're a needy ole man!!!!!
Don't let him push you around fiery....we don't around here...LOL!
Give that one an inch he'll take a mile....kidding, he's as harmless as a fly

Pssst....those roses mean nothing, too many guys hand them out too easily!Watch out for the ones who give them to you when they don't know you....run fast from those ones!
 kath762
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 166
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Posted: 7/20/2008 2:16:22 PM
Debi, I am so sorry to hear that.... What a jerk. It is his LOSS. If he knew you were driving so far he could of at least called to say he changed his mind. I am sorry that happened. Hopefully he will call or email and give an explanation.
 flawedbutfun
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 168
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Posted: 7/20/2008 3:49:49 PM
For the life of me I can't fathom why a person would not have the decency to show up when they all ready agreed to it. How much effort does it take to meet someone. If it doesn't work out, so be it, it's not like you are committing to the other person for anything beside meeting, conversation, and drink /food.

He was a loser Deb, not worth your time.
 AmyJO8992
Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 174
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Posted: 8/7/2008 10:35:34 AM
Debi ... what aboutthe guy that picked his nose????? lol
 Agreatdayfortwo
Joined: 11/9/2014
Msg: 179
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Posted: 1/30/2015 11:28:26 AM
I met this woman on line. Our first date was fantastic. No, not that good, but very nice. She kissed me a couple of times in the restaurant where we met. This I was very happy with. I had already decided I was not going to kiss her good night at the end of the evening. I was going to play it cool. She sent the obligatory (to me anyway) thank you text later that night. I was in love! (OK, not really, but I really liked how the evening had gone.)
The next date we attended the opening an art gallery opening and she invited me. She also invited her married sister and brother-in-law. Wow! Already meeting the family! A friend of mine is the owner of a limo service. I hit him up for a limo. I just have to pay the tip. We meet where she worked. We kiss. This is going great I think. Her sister and the brother-in law arrive. That ending my night of conversation. The barely spoke to me the rest of the night.
Whenever I tried to enter the conversation, they just stopped talking and glared at me. They only spoke about things that pertained to them. i.e.: A recent concert, an upcoming trip, relatives...
After the gallery premier we ate at a very nice restaurant. Again, no one spoke with me. No grilling me about my life, work, likes, dislikes, or anything. I really considered leaving them at the restaurant and taking the limo back to my car.
I did stick it out (nice guy syndrome). The sister and brother-in-law bale right when we get back to the cars. She gets out also to tell them goodnight. I just sat in the limo. Finally, the limo driver informs me that she is waiting for me. Why I wonder to myself. I get out and she said she had a nice time. She went to kiss me, but I pull back and just get back in the limo and I tell the driver to just leave. Never saw or heard from her again.
 michkat58
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 180
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Posted: 5/31/2015 5:46:21 AM
wow...boy that date sucked...after reading your story agr8day42 I've come to realize, wow I don't think I've ever had a real date then...hmmmmm...maybe one of my sons will send a limo for me and take me to the ball park, and out for so much lobster that I have to undo the snap on my jeans...wow again limo eh?


lol, nah I've had dates, just not limos...

my best date ever was going to a tigers game, stayed at the motorcity, got flowers sent to me, and hugs and kisses...it was great
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