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 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 26
Do you touch on the first date?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Touching is the most important form of communication that you can have on a first date. Why? Because it rarely lies about how the other person is feeling about you.

Touching is about penetrating a person's personal space, and doing so in a way that does not set the alarms off and the shields going up. When you touch someone, or they touch you, and you do not know them, in your mind you ask what are their intentions, and do I accept or not accept that intrusion.

If the guy touches the girl and she pulls back, it says she is not ready to be touched. So it's time for the guy to pull back. If after a while she then touches him, it means that she is now more comfortable. Ideally you want to escalate, but do it in a way that she doesn't feel like now he is grouping her. What that means is that the guy needs to pull back sometimes, and let her do the touching as well.

This can naturally escalate to the point of a kiss.
 Yesready
Joined: 11/24/2012
Msg: 27
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 7:59:01 AM
For me, the first date is when we are already very interested in each other. I have hugged each date in greeting. Holding hands is very natural for me. Kissing is usually mentioned as a profile interest and brought up in conversation. A gentleman asks if a kiss is okay.
 flcruiser
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 28
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 8:53:41 AM
Totally depends on how the date is going... I have met up with outgoing guys who will hold out there hand for a handshake at first meeting...no problem...other times if the evening has gone well a quick hug after he walks me to my car....but if i don't feel we've made any connection at all...then no...there won't be any touching going on...
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 29
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Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 9:47:13 AM
This is one place that I think men should take their cue from women and not initiate a forceful touch, and let the woman show her touching side or not.

I will brush up next to my date, or let my shoulder touch hers, but I do not lay a hand on a woman until invited, which is how I was brought up, and I believe that it is one of the strongest ways a woman can let you know that she is interested, and would like to start the touching process. How a woman faces you, and how she looks at you, and how she places a hand on your knee, or touches your hand, wrist, arm, etc., will send the message that I am interested and want to know you better, and now I am inviting you into my space!

If more men would watch how women deal with their body language, there would be much less confusion about who should do what, when, and how.....and much more that she is inviting me closer, or she is not sure yet, so keep your space and hands to yourself!!

cd
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 30
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 10:48:52 AM
^^^^^ c_deacon is a gentleman and knows what he is doing.

The best thing to do is to let the woman touch first. Often, when they like you, women will reach their hand across the table and tap your hand... sometimes it's just the touchy-feely ones. Sometimes they will initiate a hug at the end of the date. This means they feel a spark for you in the vast majority of cases. It's a point counter system for women, scoring you as the date goes on, every time they touch you.

Touching for a reason is fine though.... a touch on the shoulder in a noisy bar to get her attention, holding her hand to help her out of the car or while crossing the street, things like that the man can initiate right out of the gate.

Men should go for the first kiss though. And this is what brings the relationship to the next level (if the kiss went well) and opens the door wide for lots of affection.
 _BeachGoddess_
Joined: 2/19/2013
Msg: 31
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 11:28:43 AM
If both people are into each other then absolutely. What I'd hate was when I wasn't into the guy but he would still go ahead and make physical contact (hand holding, kiss, hug, cuddle, pawing etc) with no green light or encouragement from me whatsoever. Ugh. I once had a date lean cross the table in a pub and force a kiss...I wanted to punch him, lol.

Like another poster mentioned, body language should tell you if you should keep your hands to yourself or not.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 32
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 11:49:30 AM
Depends on how the date goes.
Some women are shy.
So I give them their space.

Some are not interested.
So no need to.
 roadrunner2525
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 33
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 1:24:42 PM
I only touch someone after they are laughing and we are getting along well. I don't try to test anyone through touching them first. If we were at a restuarant I might put my hand on their back so that it is not obvious to everyone that we are on a date. Men always let women walk first don't they. They merely stick their hand out if the woman doesn't know it is time to move toward the table, lol. I have seen guys put their hands all over women, not too cool and I never do that.
 Green_MK2
Joined: 11/6/2011
Msg: 34
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Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 1:35:32 PM
Reading the title I thought more like 3rd base... almost sounded interesting.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 35
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 2:09:31 PM
Really? This is a question?

From the welcome hug, to holding her hand, to a kiss if I'm feeling it.. yeah .. there is going to be touching. This is a dating site people.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 36
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 2:11:42 PM

This is a dating site people.


No.

It's an proctology site disguised as a dating site.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 37
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Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 3:07:23 PM
First, I need to get a first date, then I'll let you know.
 THEMEPACK
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 38
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 4:46:31 PM
Ya like I'm going to ask her to take of her own bra!
 Football11234
Joined: 2/24/2013
Msg: 39
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 5:07:54 PM
I found that I like to be touched. I went on a date, and all the guy had to do was kind of graze his legs against mine and it eased my nerves so much.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 40
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 7:13:02 PM

Reading the title I thought more like 3rd base... almost sounded interesting.


Reading this.... I just realized I don't know what know what third base is anymore. I would guess crotch, but then what would second base be? And that would make first totally useless. And what would be a homerun?

My name is Chances R and I'm not smarter than a 5th grader.
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 41
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 9:46:49 PM

Kissing/hugging seems more natural after dark, to me, for a first date.


- Of course... many people look better when the lights are low, when you can't see what they really look like!
 FSU9144
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 42
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 9:46:53 PM
I will occasionally touch a guy's arm. Mainly I lean closer to him in the conversation.
 Mikare
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 43
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 3/6/2013 9:53:43 PM
I was on a date/ meet today and I found it hard not to touch him----funny it was my first one like that....=)
 td2231
Joined: 8/1/2015
Msg: 44
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 8/13/2015 11:16:31 AM
Absolutely. It's natural and you'll get vibe if it's welcomed or not.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 45
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 8/13/2015 11:37:25 AM
It all depends on the level of attraction. On most of my OLD situations, I didn't want to be touched because the situation wasn't going to go anywhere. I would generally give a "goodbye hug" at the end to be friendly. I DID have one situation, back in the day, where the mutual chemistry was intense and we ended up making out in the car which was easily headed to a "take him home and do him" thing...luckily I didnt, as he disclosed the next day he had herpes. Such a shame-it was really hot. :D

On other "real life" dates, which were fostered from at least knowing the person for a while and building some repertoire, I've kissed goodbye, but in most cases, the snuggly buggly stuff takes a couple dates. Then all hell breaks loose. Hahaha
 ElectricFish67
Joined: 7/21/2015
Msg: 46
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 8/13/2015 12:01:34 PM
I don't like people touching me on the first date. I've had to lightly admonish people for doing that before. I'm pretty upfront about not putting out until the 5th date; if they're interested enough they'll stick around and if not then that's fine.

I do find a lot of women like to lightly touch when they're telling a story or to emphasize a point. I'm not sure if that's natural or just an excuse to make contact with me but it happens often.
 MissScawlett
Joined: 3/26/2015
Msg: 47
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 8/13/2015 12:24:12 PM
I don't really like people touching me on the first date, but again, it always depends on the level of attraction. I'm normally very affectionate -- after I get to know someone.

My last date kept grabbing my hands across the table, calling me "hun" and then wanted me to sit on the same side of the booth as him ... not happenin'.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 48
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 8/13/2015 12:29:27 PM
Back in my early thirties I went on a first date with a guy whom I determined I really didn't want to see again. He just wasn't my type, and he had this nose hair hanging out which I kept focusing on as he rambled on. Suddenly, he decided to accelerate the level of intimacy by taking my hand and putting it on his thigh as if I initiated it. Then he went to kiss me and stuck his tongue into my mouth, like we were really getting hot and heavy. It was a total fail because it wasn't a mutual desire, so he just went ahead and tried to start the engine by himself. Part of dating smart is knowing if the other person is open and ready for something like this. This actually isnt important to alot of people, so they just barrel ahead.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 49
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 8/13/2015 12:43:38 PM
It depends on the chemistry. Being a Latino man, I always start with a kiss and a hug. The kiss is more like rubbing cheeks than really a kiss. I do this naturally so most women just offer their cheek and hug without any issues.
After that, it depends on how and where we sit. I prefer to sit at the bar so we're very close and can talk without having to talk too loud, or if at a table a 45%. That is not always the case. I hate sitting across in booth so I avoid them like the plague. If I sense absolutely no chemistry I do not touch her at all. If there's chemistry I touch her on the elbow, or a touch of her hand or some other non sexual or threatening area. If she pools back, I pool back. If she likes it, I still pull back and wait for her to do something invasive as well.
Personally I don't feel that I am there to do all the work, so if she finds me attractive she better get to work and show that she is interested in me. If she is very, very passive. She is not for me and I actually fold my hands and pull back. If there's some degree of reciprocation, then I escalate, but very, very slowly. And for each move of escalation, she has to respond, or then it's back to square one.

My objective is not to seduce the woman, but to determine if there's mutual interest.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 50
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 8/13/2015 12:59:09 PM

Do you touch on the first date?


You mean on purpose? Ewwwwwwww no
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