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 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 64
Do you touch on the first date?Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)


I find that a really good test of the person I'm dating is to wait until we have had one or two drinks and then I touch myself. Why wait? I start with a light caress of my forearm


I'm gonna try this and see what happens.

Can I substitute the forearm with something else?


I want you
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you, I touch myself
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah ah oh ah

I don't want anybody else
When I think about you, I touch myself
Ooh, I don't want anybody else
When I think about you, I touch myself
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 65
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 8/17/2015 3:59:55 AM
Bout the only thing I do is shake their hand as Im introducing myself....the rest is either history or see ya but always be respectful....doesnt pay to be any other way....
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 66
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 8/17/2015 7:24:59 AM

Tell me the truth guys. Do you think next time I should try the right nipple?


lol, oluben, try licking your thumb and smoothing down your eyebrows?

I used to touch men on the forearm sometimes when I was interested and in deep conversation. I don't do that so much anymore, I figure it's because I'm finding I don't want to give the wrong impression to someone that isn't a match for me.

One woman, I was trying to side step around to pass through a doorway at a club, she was facing away from me. I put my hand gently on her back, she was shorter than me, and I said, "Excuse me." She spun around, with narrowed eyes, and spat at me, "Don't fkn touch me. Ever!" Whoa. She was pretty well intoxicated, I suppose, possibly bipolar.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 67
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 8/17/2015 8:36:43 AM
yeah, everyone's got a different idea on personal space. sometimes, I've laid a fingertip lightly on the shoulder of someone closeby, with their back to me, to let them know, "hey, don't back up just yet".

To me, a date is where I know the other person wants me to "touch their body" at some point in time. I've had females who I knew didn't, and I don't call that a date, so I literally wasn't touching them on a first date. but others, it was clear they were interested, and so we had "Roman hands" and "Russian fingers" to use an old term.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 68
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 8/17/2015 8:44:23 AM

I used to touch men on the forearm sometimes when I was interested and in deep conversation.


To me touching in it self it's a form of communication. If I touch a woman in a date and she does not touch back at some point, I get the feeling that she is either too shy or not into me. Either way, I will not proceed. If she is too shy, I don't like women that are that way. If she is not into me. Well, we both move on to what we both may want.
 Witnesstomythoughts
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 69
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 8/17/2015 8:54:35 AM
Back when I was younger and WAY more women wanted to meet me from this site, I often heard what a gentleman I was because apparently most guys are way too touchy, gropey , feely on a first meet.

I’ve been spoiled by one of the first women I met from this site back in 2005 … we sat in my car, I thought she was nice enough but wasn’t really all that impressed, she walked to my side of the car where I was still sitting, I rolled down my window, she bent down to kiss me and when our lips met she eased her tongue inside my mouth in the most gentle yet aggressive way…. We ended up making out in my car like a couple of teenagers.

I was very interested after that and we ended up seeing eachother for a few years.

In conclusion, I prefer to wait for the woman to give me the green light signal first.
That being said, I am a guy so the signal has to be OBVIOUS, haha.
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 70
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 8/17/2015 10:28:40 AM
I usually give the man a quick hug upon meeting instead of shaking hands. This is after we talked and laughed on the phone. At the end of a first date I give the man another hug. Sometimes this leads to a delicious kiss.

It's extremely rare for me to shake hands upon parting. That seems cold.

But last spring on a first meet, the man monopolized our time together by bitterly complaining about his ex-wife and former girlfriend (they broke up a week earlier). He was clearly not ready to date. I was so turned off by his behavior that I said goodbye and left without touching him.
 sun_and_cinnamon
Joined: 1/19/2015
Msg: 71
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 8/18/2015 3:33:43 PM
^^^I agree on it happening naturally
 LucilleDixon
Joined: 12/18/2016
Msg: 72
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 1/1/2017 8:43:44 PM
I know that this is an old post but whatever.

I don't like being touched by people that I don't know and I don't like touching people that I don't know.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 73
view profile
History
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 1/2/2017 7:50:03 AM


I don't like being touched by people that I don't know and I don't like touching people that I don't know.


If you are on an actual date, then you would know the person, right? I mean, maybe not well, but you would know him.

This is where dancing comes in handy. If we have danced, then we have touched. The amount of actual contact would depend on the song (slow or fast), but you WOULD have touched. At the very least, I hold her hand on the way to the dance floor.
 Nestaron
Joined: 3/22/2016
Msg: 74
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 1/2/2017 8:44:55 AM
Define touch? I usually shake hands when greeting someone for first time so yes. If on a date with a lady I already know I am opening doors, pulling out chairs etc... Since I usually place my hand on back when I follow them in after I opened door for them again yes. So really if I haven't been able to do either I do see the date lasting very long. It would be like I am getting mind to go you can stay if you want I am not interested thank you. I let them try to understand why.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 75
sigh, i'm only ever touched in the head
Posted: 1/2/2017 8:59:13 AM
I spend NYE in a crowd as thick as that in Times Square. Shoulder to shoulder, gut to back. It was like swimming upstream, some people were standing still, some were pushing past you to get to the center of the group (and the action), the ones behind you were pushing you forward. Makes you realize what fabrics are slippery (leather sports coats, etc).
Thankfully the smokers were hip to cupping their hands holding the cigarettes so they didn't burn anyone and no one spilled their cup of Ben&Jerry's or their drinks. I can understand people freaking out over that, and not just the claustrophobia. I can understand someone attractive or otherwise a center of focus (local celebrity, etc) who wish the bubble of their private sphere was just a little bit bigger than it is.

but, alas, there are other people in the world who love human touch. I wonder the best way to phrase these wants/needs is in a profile? A key word or phrase one can put in and like-minded individuals "get it". Besides, I guess, "think of me as Sheldon Lee Cooper" :)
 jentress
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 76
sigh, i'm only ever touched in the head
Posted: 1/2/2017 12:55:55 PM
On a first date, we met in the parking lot; I stuck my hand out to shake his; he took my hand then hugged me with his other arm. It was totally charming and felt spontaneous. While in the restaurant, he wanted to show me a few photos on his phone, so he came over and stood by my chair. He pushed his shoulder/arm against mine. I took this to mean that he found me attractive and wanted to see how I'd respond to touch. When we walked out to the parking lot, another hug, couple of little kisses (after he asked) and we separated. I was totally disarmed by his honesty and his small touches. As a single person living alone, I am literally starved for human physical contact, and I thoroughly enjoyed this meet with this man!
 LucilleDixon
Joined: 12/18/2016
Msg: 77
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 1/2/2017 7:03:28 PM

If you are on an actual date, then you would know the person, right? I mean, maybe not well, but you would know him.
No..... A few messages and some phone calls isn't enough for me to say that I know them. I know of them but they can be easily forgotten. I don't feel comfortable with people who are basically strangers touching on me and vice versa. Period. Why is that even a question?

This is where dancing comes in handy. If we have danced, then we have touched. The amount of actual contact would depend on the song (slow or fast), but you WOULD have touched. At the very least, I hold her hand on the way to the dance floor.
I don't dance. At all.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 78
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History
sigh, i'm only ever touched in the head
Posted: 1/2/2017 7:08:51 PM

jentress
As a single person living alone, I am literally starved for human physical contact, and I thoroughly enjoyed this meet with this man!


Back during the summer, I was at a Meetup event, a dance held at a church. Yes, I know, me in a church, it’s a wonder the roof didn’t fall in on me. But I digress…

I was dancing, a slow dance, and holding a woman in my arms. This is a woman I have known for probably 2 years. She doesn’t come to many events, maybe 4 or 5 times, and always events involving dancing. An interesting woman, presently working as a teacher, although she has had a quite varied career.

In the middle of the dance, she said, “This is the only human contact I will get all week. Isn’t that sad?”

I was about to make a smart quip, but stopped myself, thought for a few seconds, and replied, “No, it better not be sad, because I’m in exactly the same boat.”


LucilleDixon
I don't dance. At all.

Well, to each his own.

It takes all kinds.

And whatever other clichés might come to mind.

But I have to say, “I wouldn’t want to be you.”
Best of luck with that.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 79
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History
Don't leave us hanging!
Posted: 1/2/2017 8:33:52 PM

As a single person living alone, I am literally starved for human physical contact, and I thoroughly enjoyed this meet with this man!


And . . . And . . . And?
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 80
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 1/3/2017 6:21:58 PM

and I don't like touching people that I don't know.


I hope you're not the only person around if I ever need CPR.



I don't like being touched by people that I don't know


So if there was a flowerpot falling out of a window, you don't want a stranger to push you out of the way?
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 81
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History
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 1/10/2017 10:43:03 AM
I'm from down South, where hugs and kisses on the check mean nothing. A light hug and quick kiss on the check form a woman can simply mean "thank you". Many people hug friends as a greeting.

When a lady meets a man she can extend a soft, well manicured hand as if to shake. When he places his hand on hers, she covers his with her free hand, then gently squeezes. That's a great way to begin a meet up date.

If they are in a restaurant or coffee shop, seated at a table, she can "accidentally" lightly brush his leg with her foot while they are speaking.

A lady can lightly touch his hand or elbow to emphasize a point while she is speaking.

Southern ladies can touch a man deeply without touching her at all, with just their eyes. Just make good eye contact and give him an appreciative -- but not fawning -- look.

If a gentleman sees that his date is wearing Lady Gaga heels, he should help on steps or stairs. Let her be next to the handrail. Then gently grasp her arm at the elbow and forearm to steady her.

Opening the car door for a lady is a must. If he is opening it to let her out, he should take her hand to steady her as she debarks. Don't pull her, just assist.

If it's winter, help a lady with her coat. Simply take the coat, hold it open, with the liner facing her, just below her shoulder height, and let her get into it.

Take a lady's hand as you two cross the street.

I see a lot of comments from Northerners about how backward and uncultured Southerners are. I'm always surprised to find this from folks from places like New Jersey, and Cali.

A lot of people grudgingly come to Texas for employment, thinking they will hate the place. A lot of these same people never willingly leave.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 82
yeah, don't leave us hanging. Only some of us are well hung
Posted: 1/10/2017 1:39:45 PM
if someone doesn't like to dance, well, to each their own. I'm self taught, I learned to turn my back on the crowd so I wouldn't see any laughing, and youtube is good at teaching lessons for free. But boy do I miss the clubbing days (nights?) and of course, a 40 year old doesn't belong in a club of 20 yr olds looking for a dance. but it was fun living like a vampire :) I won't say that those who don't dance missed out on a way to spend a Saturday night, they likely found something they liked--or they got the sleep we missed, lol

Henry, smart of you not to make the quip. She opened up to you, another way of human contact, and you returned the favor.

and yes, being a northeasterner, its interesting to go someplace with more "excuseme" spoken. Up here in the population dense region, we bump our way thru crowds almost daily, don't apologize unless we egressously knock someone over. We did have some slaves up here way back when and have some "trailerpark redneck trash" now, but besides those stereotypes I am one of those Yankees unsure what Southern Culture is. Is it the soul food, or the blues, or country music, or what. I'm sure a "good ol'Boy" can look at us snowbirds coming down for the weather and wondering what it was we loved up north, too.

what's the saying, "where you stand depends upon where you sit"? :) Or maybe its a dislike going back to the Civil War, like how people still go on about how great Egyptian cotton is, a sales pitch from the days when northern factories didn't have Confederate cotton as a raw material, so they had to "Teach" customers able to repair their old shirts, to not do that and buy new ones made from Egyptian cotton instead. Or how our slang still talks about getting the truth from the horse's mouth, when we're more likely to buy a car than a horse. Some "Common Knowledge" outlasts its application :)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 83
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History
sigh, i'm only ever touched in the head
Posted: 1/10/2017 2:45:46 PM

On a first date, we met in the parking lot; I stuck my hand out to shake his; he took my hand then hugged me with his other arm. It was totally charming and felt spontaneous. While in the restaurant, he wanted to show me a few photos on his phone, so he came over and stood by my chair. He pushed his shoulder/arm against mine. I took this to mean that he found me attractive and wanted to see how I'd respond to touch. When we walked out to the parking lot, another hug, couple of little kisses (after he asked) and we separated. I was totally disarmed by his honesty and his small touches. As a single person living alone, I am literally starved for human physical contact, and I thoroughly enjoyed this meet with this man!

Yeah, but that's because you were attracted to him. Pretend you were not -- suddenly his moves are in poor taste! :) Version of the same thing, if you weren't so attracted to him, thus, another perspective taking the same actions:

On a first date, we met in some remote, desolate parking lot, which I thought was weird, but he suggested it. I stuck my hand out to shake his... and he took my hand then groped me with his other arm! It was totally surprising and felt it was quite rude and uncomfortable. While in the restaurant with not much to talk about, he wanted to show me a few photos on his phone. Ummm, okay. So he comes over and stood by my chair -- and pushes his shoulder against me, getting up in my grill to show me stupid pictures on his phone. Wtf? I get you find me attractive and want to see how I respond to you getting close -- but space, please... Have some class! When this date was finally ending and we were walking out to the parking lot, he gropes me with another hug (rolling eyes), and then asks me if he can kiss me a couple times and I declined. I was totally up in arms by the way about him and his creepy small touches thru the evening. As a person living alone, I like human physical contact, but not in his creepy weird way!

But in all honesty, that's great you Did have a good experience. Guys should make moves like that, and be willing to take the burn when gals are too sensitive or unattracted.... because it's not going to work out any way if they're not that into you regardless. Mine as well aim to maximize under the assumption there's mutual attraction!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 84
view profile
History
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 1/10/2017 8:49:07 PM

I'm not going to go on a first date with some guy I'm not attracted to.

Yeah, but many times one doesn't know or have their attraction settled in Until the 1st date's begun. So from the other poster's story about how so well the date unfolded & how great he was in how he acted/reacted, etc -- my point was that it was because of your tastes. A guy you're not really into is going to come across to you in a different way, even if the actions are the same, was my point.

Kind of like you can take two guys on a somewhat blind date telling the same joke, and actually in the same way. One can be funny to them, and the other not -- despite it being the same joke, delivered in the same way. Our attraction alters our perception of the Same actions, is my point.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 85
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 1/11/2017 8:35:39 AM
I'm not the cross the line touchy , gropey type right off the bat and have been complimented on this multiple times.

That being said, if the first meet goes well and she either gives me the green light or , even more impressive, makes the first move herself then I have no problem with that.


Go figure right ?
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 86
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 1/13/2017 8:23:34 AM
Touching is a great hit. Unfortunately, many guys don't get hints!
 SilverWings2017
Joined: 12/14/2016
Msg: 87
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 1/15/2017 5:31:06 AM
True. On the first date, I know a guy really likes me if he rubs my boobs for me until I fall asleep.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 88
Do you touch on the first date?
Posted: 1/15/2017 6:44:09 AM
Isn't it good luck to rub the belly of the Buddha? Perhaps these fellows are just hoping they can get lucky, too? Reminds me of the line from Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid.
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