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 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 84
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just MetPage 2 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
Just Em....I have seen quite a few pics of guys with hats or sunglasses...who look smoking hawt, and then in person...ugh. It's not neccessarily that they're covering a bald head...bald is hot, too! ;) But I dunno what it is about a hat...especially a backwards one...that looks so sexy?! LOL

Another pet peeve about men...facial hair! If you have it...have it in the pic, and if you don't...don't have it in the pic! A man can look completely different with or without facial hair! (Women too! LMAO)

Another thing that can be deceptive...B&W pics. I love them myself...but I have seen MANY photos of people who look super in B&W, but not in color! LOL
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 85
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History
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/27/2008 12:06:00 AM
I had one date, that IF the pic was her, it was 20 years old; then again it could have been her daughter, cousin, or neighbor. To add insult to injury, she showed up in sweats, LOL. I love a woman who can look good in sweats...she didn't; and it was a dinner date! I went through with the entire date, paying for everything, etc. If it happens again, I plan on calling her on it, and walking. The hilarious thing is that a year or so later, forgetting we had gone out, she writes me expressing interest. I reminded her of our date; and let her know that when telling stories of "dates from hell", the story of our date always comes up.

The biggest issue I've found on these sites is weight. Pic is either 30-40 lbs ago, or only shows from the neck up. A size 14/16 is NOT "about average."
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 86
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/27/2008 5:44:18 AM
Bwillie...it's not a gender specific issue, and we women realize such. But if we women are dating men, and vice versa...well, obviously the men stake claim in this occurring as well! (And I have SEEN it with my own eyes w/ women as well...at POF events) At one event, I met a lady who's picture I had been drawn to and noticed (Imma people watcher...I gravitate towards men and womens pics) and when we met in person, the first thought on my mind was that her pic was at least 15 years old.

POFs rules are that your MAIN PIC must show your face. You CAN place a body shot, but it just cannot be the MAIN PIC. ;O)

And while I agree...you should ask for more pics...it still will not guarantee anything. LOL They could have ALL good examples of pics!

Windlover...actually, a size 14 IS considered "average" with nearly 50% of women wearing a 14. ;) But it is still a matter of opinion...I wear an 11 or 13, and I still consider myself a few pounds overweight, not average. But I see the same thing with men...a man will see he is a few pounds over when he is AT LEAST a few pounds over...in his face alone! LOL I also see men who describe themselves as "athletic"...hello, do guys realize this means body type and not if they play sports?! LMAO I mean, the athletic sorts who are more like a bean pole...this just cracks me up!
 freefallingfaith
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 88
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Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:31:08 AM
The same thing happened to me the other day, funny... I like you tryed to give him a chance and was polite. When I got home I looked again at his profile and for sure it was not even the same guy! He clamed to be 40 in person he was 39 on the profile I finaly got him to addmit he was 46...more like 56 if you ask me.
I sent him an email to let him know most women would not be as kind as I was and that if he really wants to meet someone he better get honest.
He removed the picture from his profile...
I let him know that honesty is important to me so move on...
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 92
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Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:02:12 PM
i have heard of extreme cases like this from my other e-buddies. i cannot figure what goes on in someone's mind to think that lying or misrepresentation would sit well with someone. some other threads have said that desperate people would do anything to "say" they had a date. not sure what it accomplishes. if you felt someone would like you for who you were, did it never dawn inside the noggle that being a liar is the first thing that comes to mind?

OP, if you had seen this man's real pics, and he wrote and communicated with a connection, would you have not gone out with him due to his real looks or would you have given him a chance? i wonder if he would have given a woman a chance, who maybe was not all that much of a "10" either....

i do have to say that one of the most "attractive" men i have ever met, by societal standards was very NOT all that "good looking", but he had the eyes, the body and the moves and lots of pheremones sending me radar. on the other hand, there have been some "pretty" or "handsome" guys who were really quite vacuous. this is not to say that all non lookers are sexy or all pretty guys are stupid. but to me, that is why i would give a number of people a chance--within reason.

of course there are days i look way better and some days "do not disturb anymore than necessary or the medusa snakes coming out of my head may bite you dearly!" of course i am kidding---???? BUT, even on a bad day, someone would surely recognize me. which is why i always wear a trenchcoat and sunglasses and a wide brimmed hat when i go shopping. hmmm. hope that does not give out too many clues!!!

ps never let your expectations get ahead of meeting someone in real life. i remember those days well and they are not fond memories.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 97
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:24:41 PM
you missed the point sparky---- it is not about taking a chance it is about not wanting any contact with anyone without a pic --- read it again geesh


I do not know who you are reponding to, so I am sorry if I am wrong. May be use quotes?

Anyways, my picture is up for all to see. People can compliment or critisize. I want my new friend or partner to not be insecure or scared to do that. I always hear "I do not want my friends or family or coworker to see me on a dateing site." Why does that person feel ashamed and am I suppose to feel the same?

Small answer: Be proud of who you are and where you are. If you can not, fix that, then talk to me. Again, sorry if you were not replying to me.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 98
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Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:46:29 PM
i think vosch hid it on the head. many people are in denial. i guess because they see no hope for themselves. i have seen so many people change after bad relationships. i looked ten years older when i was married. look ten years younger now. it's kind of sad. so if anyone watching, it takes time to transform oneself, but it is doable and much better than lying and proving rejection all over to yourself after someone calls your shots in person and sees that you have lied big time!
 Gr8Poet4You
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 100
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/28/2008 12:05:59 AM
C’mon, lighten up ladies! Live and let live…cuz ain’t none o’ y’all so “honest” that you have holes in your hands showing you died on a cross of Truth & Justice.
To paraphrase Michael Corleone, “…we’re all players in the same hypocrisy…”

I challenge each and every one of you “honest & truthful” Girl Scouts to meet me in Hernando’s Hideaway…but without a mile-high layer of makeup on your face…and get rid of your bra and let your tits HONESTLY hang down to your knees. Get rid of your girdle and show those TRUTHFUL bulges on your hips and abdomen. Take off your fish net stockings so we can see your HONEST cellulite and varicose veins. Kick off those ridiculous and unhealthy high heel shoes designed to put a phony and DISHONEST “wiggle” in your walk to attract a man’s attention. Take off your slutty fake nails, eyelashes, hair weaves, and wigs.

Be forewarned, Hernando’s Hideaway DOES NOT have soft, flattering lighting. Which is why I won’t resemble my profile photos showing me sitting studiously at a laptop. Instead, I’ll be the mack daddy, trash talkin,’ foul mouthed “gangsta” sitting in the back booth scribbling ebonics on a chalkboard.
 Gr8Poet4You
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 103
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/28/2008 2:27:50 AM
TWEEPZ my sweet,

Me thinks you doth protesteth too much, cuz you AIN’T got no profile pic.
Is your lead based face paint beginning to peel?
Has your weekly botox shipment been hijacked and you’re suffering withdrawl?

Your profile says you’re “Canadian”, so Imma assume that perhaps English ain’t yo’ first language. Which means Imma cut you some slack. Cuz my little passion flower, believe me, THE LAST THANG YOU WANNA DO IS ENGAGE ME IN A WAR OF WORDS AND WIT! Darlin’, I am a founding member of the Trash Talkers Hall Of Fame. My name has been carved in the asphalt of every inner city playground from Harlem to Watts. All past and present writers for Leno and Letterman have me on their speed dial. I have an arsenal of zingers that would make Redd Foxx blush.

Tweepz, vous etes la jardin de mon coeur. Which means count yourself as lucky that I received my Economic Stimulus check last week, and I’m feeling magnanimous.
I don’t wanna harm American-Canadian relations by cutting you off at the knees and conducting a full body cavity search of your illustrious person with my “Yo’ Mama So Fat…” jokes.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 105
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:44:06 AM
Gr8Poet4You...I honestly adore reading your posts...really! But I think you may have gone to the extreme here regarding the measures men AND women go to in order to enhance their looks. (Key word here...enhance!)

I wear a bra, not because my tits hang to my knees...but because I truly hate T.H.O. (aka...hard nips!) showing through my clothing. Should guys forego their undergarments and let their schlongs hang down the side of their jeans?! (OK...only answerable if you have a schlong and not a vienna sausage!) LOL

While I agree that some totally overdo their make-up...I think it is cool that someone can "clean up nicely" or "go that extra mile" to look special for an evening out. I appreciate a man who has taken the time to do a little more than toss a hat on his bedhead, and don a tee and jeans! ;)

But that's not really what this topic is about. This topic is about the people who have photos up or share photos and then look absolutely nothing like them because they shared an old photo, or took a thousand pics in order to find the ONE that was flattering. If you meet someone and they have all the extras you described...that's not exactly misleading if thet still look like their photo.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 109
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:29:52 AM

Heres something i find funny, some women on here post a few pictures of them say 10 years ago& then a few of what they look like now.Question ladies ? why would you do that


I covered this in another post of mine. I think when you are someone who ages well, this signifies such. This was me 10 years ago...this is me, today. I feel like I actually look BETTER now, than 10 years ago...so it shows that I maintain well, that I take care of myself, that I freakin' age well! LOL
 guys4theforums
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 110
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:43:34 PM

msg150 HarleyKat Quote/wrote;

her quote/Heres something i find funny, some women on here post a few pictures of them say 10 years ago& then a few of what they look like now.Question ladies ? why would you do that


Her responce/I covered this in another post of mine. I think when you are someone who ages well, this signifies such. This was me 10 years ago...this is me, today. I feel like I actually look BETTER now, than 10 years ago...so it shows that I maintain well, that I take care of myself, that I freakin' age well! LOL

Yes you do age well but the other dudes talking about them women thats got a younger picture of some hot body picture of them back in their hot body sugar candy stage days and then now 10/20 years later a broken down ship wreck
Bottom line is everyone has had better/worse days. The lucky ones get better with age.But why post a picture back from highschool days when your in your 20's 30's 40's or older?
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 111
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:58:56 PM
HR & Guys4...

Well ALL of my pics are current....lol...but I was explaining why I have posted an older one...and was VERY specific in stating it was an older pic. (Even before we could do captions here, I mentioned it in my profile)

Yes...big difference in those who try and spring an old pic for a new...or for someone who the aging process has not been so nice to them! LOL But it has for me and I was just explaining why some might do this. ;)
 caspter
Joined: 10/17/2004
Msg: 113
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Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/28/2008 2:20:11 PM
yep yep more then once. went back and looked at the photo Maybe a long time ago.. Pictures are easy to take and put on updated But I have always given the doubt and tried..
 spl
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 115
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/28/2008 4:00:04 PM
From my personal experience nobody looks like their photos. That is why I try to keep an open mind when meeting someone that I have never seen in person. The worse thing is to make up all those fantasies and be disappointed in the end because it is very hard for anyone to match your mental picture. I once met someone without seeing any pictures and was pleasantly surprised. :)
 Gr8Poet4You
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 120
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:43:03 AM
An ancient Zulu proverb says that Truth and Honesty are highly overrated.
Which is why I didn’t bail last night when the woman whom I had intended to be the future mother of my children didn’t look like her profile pics. After doing a Three Stooges double-take, and being the silver-tongued rascal that I am,
I cunninglingously asked her, “Medusa, are you here for what I’m here for?”
She replied, “Bring it, Quasimodo!”

So not only did we cut to the chase, we fast forwarded across the Finish Line giggling and grinning like two vegans at a Flower Power soy bean chili cookoff.
I told her it was the most mind blowing sex I’d ever had, and promised to call.
She told me it was the most titillating, toe curling, two minutes of her life,
and well worth her 18-hour trans-Atlantic flight. Then she gave me a copy of her book “Tantric Sex For Dummies”.

COME BACK, MEDUSA!!!
I don’t mind paying the Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band you
wanted for our wedding reception! But I’ll be damned if I’m gonna pay that
Elvis impersonator you insisted on hiring to perform our ceremony!!!
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 121
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:00:32 AM
Harleykat, i dont agree with that answer, perhaps a few women think the way you wrote in answer to my question, but i see it as living in la la land, sorry most of the time the ladies look much worse than they might think in a comparision sense from before and after.And again why do that, just put a now Picture in at least 1 year, or a few months ago picture


Hey Dancing/Shoes...you don't have to agree with my answer...lol...it was my answer and an example of why some people might include an older pic. And again, if it is clearly marked that it is not current, or with the date...then it is not deceptive.

Have any of you guys ever met a girlfriend's mother, and thought, "OK...her mom looks fine still...so good chance my girl might look fine when she is older, too!" This is kind of similar to such...have current pics, but share one thats a couple years older, and it can show the person takes care of themself or has improved.

Or what if you were someone who, say, lost a significant amount of weight? Maybe you enjoy (or are proud of the fact) that you lost 150 pounds, so you show a before and after pic?

Again, I am NOT saying to mislead people with false pics!!!!! I DESPISE THIS! I am just giving examples of why having a mix, is feasible.

By the way...we had a POF party last night, and I met several folks from here, for the 1st time...and I have to say that in all honesty...every single one of them looked BETTER in person! ;) And everyone told me that I look just like my pics. ;O)

Edit to add: HappyRebel...in that case, they probably would NOT do such. LOL I am just saying why myself and others, might. ;) And again, all my pics are current now with the exception to one from December being the oldest. Oh...and *I* think I look better now! LOL
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 122
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:29:34 PM
Well, HappyRebel...host an event on your own, and then you won't have to drive! ;) 'Tis actually quite easy...and fun! ;)

Yeppers...I think I am the one who mentioned the profiles of guys (and I am sure women do it too!) that have hosted the same freaking picture for at least 2 years! OMGawd...I mean, how ridiculous!
 missfashionjunkie
Joined: 4/20/2008
Msg: 125
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:04:10 PM
umm yeah. i just had that 3 days ago haha. they alll lie .haha jk. i have met some great guys off of here that dont lie. but yep he is lyingggg. NEXT HIM!
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 126
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:33:29 PM
Wshfulthnkn...your profile and pics are a perfect example of a wide range of pics...and I hope you won't mind my using you as an example! ;)

If you were in my area and we were chattin' it up...I would HOPE you look most like the last pic...yum! LOL And then there is the monkey suit pics...I mean, of course you probably don't wear one daily, but it sure shows you clean up very nicely...and I don't think I have ever seen a man in a tux who was not sexy! ;)

I was chit chattin with someone online who I saw about 6 pics of...so wide ranged in variation that I actually would hesitate to meet the dude, for fear of what he looks like...that he looks more like the pics I did not care for at all...and which he shared last. LOL

I totally understand hair styles and colors changing....and heck! when a guy shaves a mustache/goatee, it can completely change his look! Some guys need to just NEVER shave! LOL

All of my pics are "regular" pics...nothing glammed up...and while some have been while I was "out"...they were not decked to the nines, or anything as such. More than anything, I think it most important to share pics that represent what you look like in the majority...but a variation is nice!
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 132
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:30:21 PM
I look different in each of mine, but that is because I can look like any of them on any day, depend on mood. Never know what you get on first date with me.

(I am pink shirt pic today. lol)
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 133
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:07:49 PM

But it is important that each of the photos look like the same person, or people will wonder.


Wonder what? Sorry, I did not understand.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 134
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:12:50 PM
Okie. Thank you for explaning.

Is good point, but for me I always talk on webcam with person before first date anyways. He knows I am at least one of my pic, I know he is the person on his profile.

I only do not want my date to chat with me thinking I am a curlie blonde and be disappointed with brunette if it is not his preference.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 137
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:49:55 AM
Obsidian...I think you're missing part of the main point...it's not about whether the person IS attractive, or not. It's about them misrepresenting themselves in the first place. How else will they misrepresent themselves to you?

Online, you can be anything and everyone you wish...the anonymity of the computer allows for such. On a dating site, there are so many posers, trolls, and people here just for sh1ts and giggles...we have to expect honesty upfront when meeting in person.

Yes...Beauty is more than skin deep...but lies cut deep.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 139
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:36:22 AM
Well, I think most people who "downplay" their attractiveness, would be doing it unintentionally...they just don't photograph well (me in a nutshell..I take horrid pics!) or maybe they are tired of being propositioned for their looks only?

I can see how you are thinking...and I guess for those who have said something along the lines of, "I take plain pics so that they will be more pleased in person" could fall into this category but I think it would be far less common than the topic at hand.

Interesting thought, however! ;O)

Regarding the post about all women should take a natural shot, make up free...LOL...I just laughed my booty off on that one! I am not a heavy make up wearer, either...but I present myself in the manner in which I will be seen the majority of the time....which includes my war paint. LOL If I click with a fellow and it leads to a relationship...he will eventually see me w/o such...in the mornings or lounging around...but it still is not a representation of how I typically look. I guess if you are the sort who stops wearing make up or stops trying...after the relationship...then post away...but me, I will pass! LOL
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