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 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 14
When She Stands You Up...Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

Sometimes people can change their mind after accepting the date.


That is really lame. Unless you're sure you want to go on the date, you shouldn't accept. Accepting a date and leaving open the possibility of changing your mind shows an utter disregard for someone elses's time. If you aren't sure, just say NO.
 CaliSoldier
Joined: 6/2/2008
Msg: 15
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/27/2008 3:22:07 PM
[As mentioned by celts123, sometimes you can't give the other person much notice because plans were made only 1-2 days in advance.]
Wouldnt that give you 1 or 2 days to let them know?
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 16
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/27/2008 3:23:29 PM

I suppose you guys don't have to worry much about this, but I have stopped putting on much make up or even dressing too nice for said dates.


I don't have to put on make up, but I do have to worry about making dinner reservations, purchasing tickets for the theater, symphony (well in advance to get good seating) or doing whatever needs to be done in advance to make sure everything flows smoothly and at least appears casual.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 17
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When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/27/2008 3:31:40 PM
It's rather context dependent.

The time it happened to me I took it as a lack of interest possibly including extreme wimpiness. The excuse was very lame. I simply decided that if she called me everything would be fine and go on. She did not call. I concluded she was not interested and that is why she canceled.

So what does it mean to me? That she's not interested or has what she considers better options. Time to move on. That's about it. Then again I'm conditioned for rejection.... Most men probably are conditioned to rejection so it's just another rejection. big deal.
 Karrpilot
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 18
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When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/27/2008 3:37:19 PM
There are all kinds of things for me to do if and when that happens. The last time i was stood up, i had the plane scheduled. So i just called one of my co-workers to go with me. Actually, it turned out better. The plane did not want to start. Even with a jump. Then we ran that battery down. Had to both charge up the battery, and run the pre-heater on the engine to get it to start. I was dealing with that for almost an hour before i got airborne. I could imagine what a date would have done. As in LEAVE.
 SpiceyCougar
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 19
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/27/2008 4:14:35 PM

Sulking and drowning your disappointment in icecream is about the worst thing you can do.


This is true. BUT, the reality of it is.... this is how LOTS of women handle being stood up.

The violent guy movie was the perfect cure though... to be honest.
 SpiceyCougar
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 20
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/27/2008 4:16:54 PM

I don't mind being stood up at all.....probably because I stand others up so much.

YOu see ...often when I book a date with a girl....I often set up two...sometimes three dates at the same time...and just go with what I am feeling with.

It's kind of like food....tomorrow night I might be in the mood for a blonde with large breasts....but then again...I might just be into a firey red head with perky breasts.
Or If I am really feeling like something different I might go chineese.

Its kind of like...trying to decide what I will feel like for dinner tomorrow night....I guess.....

It's good when you stand up people....it helps deflate their swollen heads.


OUCH!!

Forgive me... but that's just heartless.

I mean, more power to you if you find those women who like to "have sex like a man". Have at it and get down with your bad self.

... but ouch...
 guys4theforums
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 21
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:36:43 PM
These kind of people don't deserve a second chance. They have no consideration for anyone else but them selves.
 CaliSoldier
Joined: 6/2/2008
Msg: 22
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/28/2008 4:22:26 PM
[if a woman stands me up, i usually enlist the help of a friend to stand her up. turn about is fair play. ] HOOAH!! Then she will psot a forum like this one!
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 23
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When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:14:47 PM
I usually have a backup plan too; not another date, as I don't double book, but I make sure we are meeting in an area where there are other things to do. This was especially important when I lived in a rural area and had to drive quite a way to meet a woman. I'd meet her in a part of the city where I could easily find something else to do if she doesn't show, or we don't hit it off.

Its all about being open to the possibilities; I once had a date that ended in about 15 min when she got a phone call and had to leave. Whether it was legit or just a bailout, I didn't care. I went back inside, and shared a smile and a laugh with a gal across the bar from me, who commented on how quick of a date it was. Once thing led to another and we ended up hanging out (platonically) for the rest of the night, laughing and joking, and I made a new friend. I had a better time than I would have with the date, so it was all good.
 SpiceyCougar
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 24
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:16:05 PM

The good part of that night, while I sat alone, this good looking blonde woman came up to talk to me and after a while, ended up leaving together. The woman that invited then tossed me, got a little jealous that I left with her as I heard the next day.
I dated that blonde for about a year. Good things can come out of bad experiences


Wow... the first part of that night sucked... but it lead to a nice year of something else.

That's very cool!

Thanks!
 whothehellknows
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 25
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:40:11 PM

I was wondering how men reacte when they realize they've been stood up or if/when the woman cancels on you last minute as you are walking out the door?


Unless it is a damn good reason, I just look at it as a bad date that I saved money on, and there will not be a second date. It's not that serious to me as generally I do low key type of things when I am getting to know someone. So if she cancels about the most I have 'lost' is a few hours. And they aren't really lost, I just do other stuff.

I have learned from experience NOT to plan expensive dates that involve tickets, reservations, time schdules, or nonrefundable activities.
 DLo!
Joined: 4/23/2008
Msg: 26
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When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:26:28 AM
If it's the first couple of dates with the person I'll make back up plans to meet out with a group of friends. Getting dressed up for nothing is no fun!
 AndalusiaJoey
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 27
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:28:46 AM
It doesn't faze me at all. It actually give me more time to myself for the things I have delayed. It was just a date, and I don't date to invest in marriage which will never happen again in my life, God willing.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 28
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:23:56 PM
Very recently my 30 yr old male cousin got stood up. He was supposed to meet some woman at some bar / club for a second or third date. He decided to stay at the bar / club and make the most of it. He ended up hooking up with some 40 yr old cougar that night. The cougar was a few pounds overweight, but she was moderately attractive. Sometimes being stood up can actually work in your favor.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 29
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:04:03 PM
Wow! I didn't know you have bars up there that let cougars in. How about pumas? Or Cheetas? Did he see any of those? :-) Mighty brave of him though to hook up with the cougar.


My point was simply that people should make the most of the situation when they are stood up. Some women are attracted to younger men just like some women are attracted to certain body types, height ranges, races, hair colors etc. If 2 people are looking for the same thing (whether it's sex or a LTR ), then it shouldn't be a problem. BTW some women embrace the term "cougar".
 sparxarebad
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 30
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:29:55 PM
I don't think it matters who you are, if you really like that someone and they stand you up its going to hurt. My worst one ever was a date I was supposed to go on on Valentine's Day.

I had the dozen roses and dinner plans and she stood me up! Ended up going to a bar that coincidentally had a Single Ladies Karaoke Night. I gave the first dozen women there a flower and had a few drinks there with some friends I ran in to.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 31
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:24:59 AM
Yes some women do enjoy to use names to identify themselves. Personally I dislike it when people place a label on themselves or others. I have sometimes been refered to as a MILF and it P's me off pretty badly. I find it very disrespectful.
If she talked about herself as a cougar there is no harm in others doing the same thing but if was a label your cousin used to describe her based on her interest in him I think it's disrespectful. A woman can be attracted to younger men but also to older men. That doesn't make a woman a cougar.


I understand what you are saying. My cousin didn't call a cougar simply because she happened to be older than he is. She admitted that she usually dates younger men and she had no problems with being called a cougar.


I did get your point and I agree with it. One should always choose a place one would be comfortable going to alone, just in case the date stands you up.


Exactly. Either that or have backup plans.
 borntoski683
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 32
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When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/30/2008 9:19:07 PM
It totally depends on the situation, what the reason was if one was provided and how much I like the girl. But if I detect that I was stood up for not such a good reason, then I won't be calling her again. That isn't to say that she could call me and show some interest and motivation, in which case I could be turned back on again...but I can take a hint.
 SpiceyCougar
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 33
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 7/1/2008 6:35:19 AM

It's simple........

Don't date,


I was at that point a couple years ago. I had f*ck buddies and friends. But never dated. There were too many hoops to hop through.

...I am about ready to get to that point again.


I know this is a dating site but too many people are screwed over.


Screwed over and/or screwed up.

OMG!! Some of the things these men write to us. I get more respect from men in a leather bar. I have a guy friend who says women send him pictures of them in their wedding dress!!! What the hell is wrong with people??
 AndalusiaJoey
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 34
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:08:00 AM
Sometimes I still struggle with English, so help me to learn where this term "cougar" comes from. I think the young lady in my foto would like to know this, too, since she think she's queen of the jungle.
 SpiceyCougar
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 35
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:28:17 AM

so help me to learn where this term "cougar" comes from


Hahahahahahaha

The term "Cougar" is given to an older woman who dates younger men. USUALLY women in their 40's/50's dating men in their 20's. Demi Moore would be a good example of a "Cougar".

My boss at work teasingly called me a "Cougar" when I flirted with the college boys who would come to the counter. I thought it was silly being called a cougar at my age, but also was amused by the teasing.... so I kept it.
 spiderette
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 36
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:07:11 PM
i would think a last-minute cancellation is preferable to a no-show. neither would be polite, but a no-show would be blatantly rude and reflect poorly on the the person who did it - extremely ill-bred.
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 37
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When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 7/3/2008 11:02:29 AM

I was wondering how men reacte when they realize they've been stood up or if/when the woman cancels on you last minute as you are walking out the door?


Well, on a first date, if she's not there at the time we were supposed to meet, or perhaps fifteen minutes later, I leave and continue to enjoy my day. If I'm "in a dating mood" , then I'll start looking around to see who else may be of interest. In today's world of cell phones, there's no excuse to call - unless in a coma/dead in a hospital.

As I'm walking out the door ? Well, some type of emergency might indeed cause that. It won't cause it the second time, however. That's my limit on those.
 troy_boy
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 38
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 7/3/2008 11:19:02 AM
Oh man! That does suck. I've never been stood -up, but I've had it where a girl just can't commit to plans. It means they're just not that into you. Ands that's o.k. It does take a sh1t kickin on the ol ego though. Look forward and keep trying!
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