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Show ALL Forums  > Ohio  > Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-o      Home login  
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 tinkerbellz
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 126
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Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
LMAO.....wow....what was th equestion to start with again.....

Where DID we get started at, I forget.....we have went all around the block on this one for sure. But alas.....that is the beauty of living in America, right.

So what. Frnds8 doesnt agree and lives with obviously higher morals, good for him. Now the comment basically about ....if we dont agree or feel the same way should seek counseling was a tad bit strong.....

Maybe we should just say (on the original topic) if it floats your boat go ahead and proceed with caution....best of luck....maybe have a and relax??

Just because someone quotes and spills out statistics doesnt mean you will change someones mind, especially someone who feels so strongly.

Its almost comical to watch such differences back and forth. But to me it seems like one side is just trying to get approval.....hmmmm....wonder which side. Believe me, believe me....and in one paragraph it is stated....do your research...YOU should. I have many gay friends....MANY...although I love them all....they are NOT as stable as you say. I have heard them many a times say they have sex on the first date JUST to see if its worth having a second.....and while I thought that was funny, lets face it....if youre looking for stability....thats NOT it.

I DID do some research and here is what I found on the subject and from several PH Ds had this information:


A University of Chicago study concluded that the estimated number of lifetime sexual partners since age 18 for the U.S. population as a whole is 7.15 (only 8.67 for those who never marry).

THATS STRAIGHT PEOPLE THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT...

and now for the homsexual: (remember...these are Ph D doing this study...REAL stats)

A major enlightening report on how Americans live their private lives," according to the Philadelphia Inquirer-authors Philip Blumstein, Ph.D. and Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D. state:
If a gay man is monogamous, he is such a rare phenomenon, he may have difficulty making himself believed.
[and]
Gay men can make non-monogamy part of everyday life. They have no trouble incorporating casual sex into their relationships. Since their partner is male, they are not called on to honor the female preference for monogamy...
Gay authors David P. McWhirter, M.D., and Andrew M. Mattison, M.S.W., Ph.D. (The Male Couple) confirm homosexual promiscuity:
Only seven couples [out of the 156 interviewed] have a totally exclusive sexual relationship, and these men have all been together less than 5 years. Stated in another way, all couples with a relationship lasting more than 5 years have incorporated some provision for outside sexual activity in their relationships. That translates into 5 percent monogamous, 95 percent non- monogamous.[51]
Isolated studies of interviews conducted since 1987 suggest that gay men may have lowered the number of their sexual contacts to around 10 per year. Even a reduction of this magnitude would mean gay males, on average, have more sexual partners in one year than the average American male (and this estimate is probably raised somewhat by factoring in the partnering of promiscuous gay men) has in a lifetime.
Evidence also exists in the literature and in gay self-admissions that lesbians exhibit high levels of promiscuity relative to the general female population. Jay and Young's Gay Report[52] revealed that 38% of lesbians surveyed claimed to have had between 11 and more than 300 sexual partners lifetime. In Homosexualities (op. cit.), Bell and Weinberg reported that 41% of Caucasian lesbians admitted to having had between 10 and 500 sexual partners lifetime.
There is also much evidence of lesbian relational instability. An article entitled, "Maintaining Our Equilibrium in Couples-Or Not," by Clare Coss, quotes a writer named Alison as saying:
I met somebody the other day and she's been in and out of relationships as I have. She said, "You know, I'm so jaded now I think if I ever got into a relationship it would be about six weeks." I said, "That long?"


So...like I said ..... even though I do have many gay friends....stable is not the word that comes first in my mind. I do have ONE couple that has been together for over 4 years......and out of a huge group...thats it. So I dont know where you are living or where you get your stats from but wow....

Abd please please.....no cruilty to animals on here....we dont need to beat dead horses...let dead horses be
 Frndsfirst8
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 127
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:59:22 PM
Tink you look good in lavender /purple but thats another thread .

Before i set lindy straight and enlighten her ,as your statistics should begin to ,let me say yes It;s no secret the homosexual lifestyle is promiscuous so again her liberal beliefs cloud the actual reality. Go figure often happens when people in a minority by a landlside are fighting for validity, they will never achieve., especially when their lifestyle defies morality. Go ahead Lindy ATTEMPT to call that judgemental , but those of you that try to force feed acceptabilty down mainstreams throats are guilty of it more. Sorry it aint working and here's why.

My comment that '' As long as they understand if their parents thought that way , they wouldnt be particpating in the lifestyle" Means this and i WELCOME your twist on this fact, if their parents were gay they would never be born duhhh Whats wrong with that picture in their lifestyle choice , how can you defend it logically when if everyone chose that lifestyle humanity would be non exsistent, there's your clue as to who has issues MAM. I beg you to attempt to skew those facts.

Lindy its obvious by your profile youre agnostic , a gay neice , bisexual and swinging lifestyle friends , you have been lured into having to accept lesser values , to try to show some loyalty to your offspring, i understand your opinions now. And I;m sorry but good family values are not shown by those living swinging lifetsyles , go beat your drum in the 5% population who have issues and seek alternative lifestyles as a false sense of security . The rest of us are too busy raising children upholding society and civilazation by teaching them by example whats right from wrong by example .

You appear to be jealous and bitter of those of us who raised families to follow good values , because we're not buying what your selling . Sorry yes i would like to see civilazation prosper and procreate .

For your information as well as the statistics provided by Tink , those in the polyandric lifestyle in Tibet have recognized the faults , and there is a revolution to change the acceptance , you want an article by a Columbia PHD i will be glad to provide it.

You tried to justify the fact 10 year olds are being fornicated in some societies and excuse it as cultural??? Please explain to me how you breed a 10 year old to know the freaking diffrence? lol After reading your profile i get it , sorry I;m not buying it. I will not comment anymore , I;m confident of right from wrong for civilazation to prosper. Good luck in your search .
 Frndsfirst8
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 128
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/9/2008 12:08:25 AM
And before you attempt the usual liberal twist. I can tolerate it , but don;t have to embrace or buy into the glorification of lifestyles contrary to values in raisng children and procreatring. And isn't it selfish and idiotic to not consider those tangibles for society to flourish? Funny you attempt to convince that the swinging lifetsyle is happier or seems to create less problems , show me the numbers you;re wrong.

As i initially stated i could care less what anyone does , but people that think like you always have a history within their immedite family . You aren;t fooling anyone.,
 SmilingRJ
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 129
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/9/2008 10:32:59 PM
Holy cow! I just read this thread and it is definately a roller coaster ride. Gang, Cedar Point has got nothing over you . I find older woman are a little more receptive in many ways. Most would be less inhibited and are more likely to speak up for themselves and there wants. So communication (which is the key) is much more open with them. I find all woman attractive young or more mature. You just cannot be afraid to look beyond outside appearance. See who she is on the inside. That's the big payoff. Fwb is ok but it seems to leave you with the feeling like geez that was pretty ok but when you are with someone you love it's more like GEEZ, HOLY SMOKES, lets try that again! I can see boys targeting older woman for bragging rights and I guess it is what it is but we are all certainly not that way. Love is where you find it and if I can still be holding hands with someone when my hair is white, my hearing is gone and my hips are shot from all that great sex I may have had over the years I guess you won't hear me complaining. The way I see it if she has a few dents and scratches that have accumulated over the years it doesn't bother me as long as she still gets my heart started and ready to go. What anyone else might think is of no consequence to me. Have a great day all! RJ
 whatacrok
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 130
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/10/2008 10:16:14 AM
Yep, RJ, emotional bondage (oh, I mean bonding) is the most powerful
sex toy on the market ... when you find your best friend ... and you
are able to communicate (either with or without words) ... it is bliss.

Sparks ... where are those younger men ... seems us old toots are the
only windbags out here ... or with too much time on our hands!
Yay old folks! We rock !

This appears to be at least 2 completely different topics here (and possibly
16 different threads worth interweaved) ... however ... IMO ...

Re: Friends with Benefits ... have not had to resort to this and if I ever had
the need ... I do believe I would pass up the opportunity ... wouldn't want
that man to spend the rest of his life wishing he could have me all to
himself ...

Re: Younger Men ... Old Toots (I mean more Mature Women) ...
From my experiences ... the younger guys enjoyed the emotional stability
of a more mature (self assured, confident, easy to talk to, nothing surprises
them, they are themselves) women. This allows them to be at ease and
perform both mentally and physically ... and yes, there are others who are
just out to bang whatever they can get even if it means picking up an old
broad! CHILL. I started a new thread!
 Frndsfirst8
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 131
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/10/2008 12:12:30 PM
Yes the context of the thread went "south" . And as RJ stated really it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks , as long as you are comfortable with your own choices.

Experience is the most reliable and valid tangible of how opinions and choices are formed . Although not all former experiences are good for each and everyone of us . And some are less tolerant of negative experiences and learn quicker from them , and make changes , hopefully for the better. Not everyone becomes "bitter"

Being tolerant does not mean you are required to embrace another lifestyle .

Whatacrock : I think the MAJORITY of the time your comments are the case. But let me add that "Younger" women that like "older" men often gravitate toward them for the same reasons you pointed out in the "older" woman scenario. Both cases can eventually also have the same issues , so i hear from others experience . For me 10 years is about the limit. But thats another thread :)

Disclaimer: My opinions are just that however gathered from my own experience
 patoi
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 132
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/11/2008 6:02:38 AM
It's just my opinion but based on my experiences I have found that age and maturity do not always correspond. I have know woman in the past as well as guys who were good friends of mine who were older but maturity and reliability just were not there and as far as I could see and probably never will be. So I suppose I might say to those who search for this in an older man or woman "good luck" as this is becoming a rare find also. Times are a changing as my grandfather used to say and indeed they have. Let's just say that it took a lot of sifting though a bad marriage and several short term relationships to find someone that makes my world go 'round. She is a little older than I am but that is not why I am with her. I'm with her because she reciprocates the love and respect I give her which in turn is snowballing forward into something unimaginable. Unlike my marriage that was the snowball headed for I did find her here Have a great weekend all and be safe! RJ
 Frndsfirst8
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 133
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/11/2008 6:50:52 AM
True some "older" people both genders don't always act responsibly or as mature as one might expect.

But as Whatacrok says , there is a certain comfortability and trust that some "younger" people assume exists in an "older" partner. I think that the younger partner does feel more at ease with the expectations , conversation etc. Which can be a draw initially. They may not be as responsible and mature as expected , but the assumption is there based on years of experience the younger person hasn't had. The part of the equation i think the younger person may not consider ,besides the obvious possible problems , is that the older person may not be as stable as assumed ,and entertain the relationship due to "flattery" . The younger person on the other hand ,has from my experience often been wronged, in a former realtionship or several with someone near their own age . People however often have a hard time resisting being "flattered" , especially if they are 'older" and carry with them the memory of their fair share of unflattering experiences.

Recent statistics i saw were that 34% of women over 40 are in a relationship with someone "younger" , and 61% of men , so while it appears to be changing , It's still far more common for the man to date younger. But keeping in mind that may be a year younger or just a few , the % of women with men more than 15 years their junior is pretty rare. It's no relevance to me either way , just some interesting numbers.
 2bgreat4u
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 134
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/11/2008 5:16:21 PM
Myself being 31, I enjoy going to dinner and having romantic moments with older women due 40+ to the fact: I myslef was born in the wrong age range. Such as I dislike games, tats, belly\nose\tounge rings and I enjoy when a woman is a woman and not a tomboy girl. Older women look more attractive to me due to the heels, hoisery, makeup and thier femanine ways. I also find it very attractive when a older woman knows what she wants and does not play stupid silly games like most young girls play.


Though this is just me.


Michael Paul Talev
 tinkerbellz
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 135
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Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/12/2008 6:35:11 AM

Disclaimer: My opinions are just that however gathered from my own experience


Good Heavens FF8 ...you should have put that on your FIRST reply to this thread.....and everyone thereafter..... and thanks for the compliment....I DO like purple....

and as for ....

RJ....are you typing in Patti's name again.......now we all know she isn't gay.....LMAO

Thanks Sparks for clearing that one up....lol....not that there's ANYTHING wrong with that but thats a totally different thread..... (and I was a little confused...

And get the belly ring !!! Or should we all vote on that for you ....probably should be yet ANOTHER thread....
 Frndsfirst8
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 136
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/12/2008 6:40:18 AM
"Good Heavens FF8 ...you should have put that on your FIRST reply to this thread.....and everyone thereafter"

FF8 eh? Hmmm nice abbreviation work TBZ . I thought stating "to each their own and whatever floats your boat" was a disclaimer , but evidently i was told i didnt really mean that . :)
 whatacrok
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 137
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/12/2008 3:03:19 PM


RJ....are you typing in Patti's name again.......now we all know she isn't gay.....LMAO


Now you tell me ... I thought she was after me too!

Sparks .... Awwww geeez, I was just on my way out to get my belly button ring!
 sparks4us
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 138
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/13/2008 5:28:31 PM
Crok: maybe they'll do 2 for the price of 1....

Now where were we????
 whatacrok
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 139
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/14/2008 6:37:51 PM
Oh, I guess if I read this thread about the two for one I would have understood the email I got calling me a "two timer" .... duh !!!!



It's just my opinion but based on my experiences I have found that age and maturity do not always correspond. I have know woman in the past as well as guys who were good friends of mine who were older but maturity and reliability just were not there and as far as I could see and probably never will be.


This is so true. Some men never ever want to grow up as well as some women ...
Others hearts might be in the right spot, but they have been misunderstood or they have not experienced life enough to have matured to the point the partner expects ... OMG ... now I am psychobabbling ... must have been the whiskey! might have been the gin could have been the 3 or 4 six packs, I don't know
 sparks4us
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 140
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/16/2008 7:28:01 AM
Good point, crok......lol.
I met a guy that wouldn't tell me his age. I thought it rather funny because I think I'm older than he is (not from POF). He said he never discusses age because age is not a true measure of who the person is or how they live their life. We discussed things that were mentioned here, how there are "old" 40 somethings and "young" 50 somethings....I'm definately one of the "young" ones, as I'm sure many of you are. Who is really on here looking for a "couch potato"?

Attraction is where you find it, and I say, age is not important at all; however, I find I do have a "comfort zone" and I like to stay within 5 years either direction (because I feel at that point long-term is feasible).

Why set myself up for hurt and disappointment by having a fling with a young hot guy?? I think in our life experiences, we learn from our past mistakes. One-night stands do nothing for our self-esteem, so why do it?? Sex without love might be good exercise, but do we really know how it affects the deeper levels of our mind???

Have we become so casual about sex that we have forgotten how much better it is when we're in love with the person we're doing it with?? There is a difference between making love and just having sex.....
 lindy_3333
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 141
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Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/16/2008 2:45:21 PM
[Have we become so casual about sex that we have forgotten how much better it is when we're in love with the person we're doing it with?? There is a difference between making love and just having sex... ]

Amen sparks4us!! But many have to learn that in different ways. Hopefully, most of us learn that fast! lol Give me a committed partner anytime!
 sparks4us
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 142
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/18/2008 2:19:04 PM
Ok ladies, how young is too young......

...and guys how old is too old???

Anyone drooling over the mailman, the paperboy, the pool boy, the guy in the band (oh, that was me....), someone at work.......
 DesertFox3
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 143
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Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/18/2008 2:35:44 PM
I think I'd go +15.... give or take a few years depending.
 climbsagain
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 144
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/21/2008 3:48:45 AM
I agree with the above, that being plus 15 years. At my age antyone older would be using a walker. Not that walking is bad for you, just walking is lacking certain elements of excitement, like running.
 GuyinOhio
Joined: 3/19/2004
Msg: 145
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/21/2008 11:08:09 AM
Never to old or young.. it depends on the maturity level and common interests for me
 sparks4us
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 146
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/22/2008 8:27:30 AM
Ok, new question: How many years older is too old for long-term (marriage?) would you marry a woman that much older?? Or is marriage an old-fashioned concept these days?
 cheshiregarden
Joined: 5/28/2008
Msg: 147
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Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/24/2008 5:17:32 AM
This topic seems to be right up my alley my ex was younger than me by 16 yrs. he was an excellent partner in every way and spend countless dollars helping me raise children that we not even his. What can start out as a FwB situation can end up a real relationship, be careful what you wish for. Younger men do not USE a woman any more than older men USE and btw women can USE men too its a 2 way street.
Wouldnt it be nice if we all got along and let people be themselves with out judgement? Who cares if 2 people are attracted and if you can have benefits in ANY relationship you are fortunate - isn't life about finding what we want? If a younger man wants an older chick let them go........ How many women are up front about marrying some guy for their money and security. ha not many! Younger men have been raised by us moms who were on the road to liberation when they were born, they are kind of the new improved version of MAN. Plus the bodies of younger men ofcourse are better just like the body of a 26 yr old woman is better than a 55 yr old. Come out of the Dark ages - why did those bras get burned in the first place?
 sparks4us
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 148
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/26/2008 7:01:47 AM
Everyone has their preferences. Every relationship has a price. We tell our kids if you play with matches, you're going to get burned. Same way in life. When we put ourselves "out there" and allow ourselves to open up our hearts, there is a cost involved. However, by NOT opening ourselves up and taking chances, there is also a price to pay. There are no guarantees in any relationship....however, don't you agree that the odds of a break-up with a very young mate are a lot higher?? I don't know about you ladies, but I'm looking for my LAST intimate relationship. Someone to grow old with, not that I want to get any older, but hey....that's life.

"Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be." Robert Browning
 grannybritches
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 149
Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/26/2008 10:19:28 AM
Plus the bodies of younger men of course are better just like the body of a 26 yr old woman is better than a 55 yr old.


Actually, age alone is not the determining factor in the looks department. I've seen some 26 year olds that look worse than I do. You have to factor in how a woman takes care of herself, genes, sun damage, smoking, drinking, etc. But what is certain is that eventually, body parts ARE going to look old. I think we are designed to be with people who are closely connected in the same aging process. That way, age is not really a factor. You don't have to be self-conscious about what might be sagging when the other person is sagging as well.

It's a proven fact that when people are in long-term relationships, they start looking like each other. And there's a lot to be said about relationships where people just look like they go together. If they don't seem suited to each other, it gives off vibes that there is something to overcome and that's probably what people react to when they see older/younger relationships.
 lindy_3333
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 150
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Friends With Benefits...Younger guys and more mature ladies ~a turn-on??
Posted: 7/26/2008 1:03:13 PM
Well as far as the odds of a break-up with a very young mate are a lot higher, don't ask me. lol My ex and I lasted 25 yrs.. yep.. but did broke up, hehe, and he was 8 yrs younger than I was. Age difference wasn't the cause of us breaking up. Matter of fact, people always thought we were the same age..... that genes thing. But we did start out younger together, and the age difference wasn't drastic. I was 29 and he was 21. So guess we did sort of grow old together.. but there is a lot more age in us both now. So here is hoping I can age somemore with someone again
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