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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone? [CLOSED FOR REVIEW]      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 63
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
LOL! I know it hurts. I've whipped myself in the eye with it by accident at times but yea, some guys might think it's a tease.

I really don't usually have a problem getting them to back off but now I'm trying to think of some more creative yet fun ways to keep them off.
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 64
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:15:49 PM
LOL, I usually use my elbows but will also trip them as I see them approaching and catch it quick enough. If it's a frontal approach, both hands pushing them back is usually enough on a drunk guy. After he rights himself and sees his friends laughing their asses off at him, he usually gives up for the night.

It's actually pretty amazing how easily even big ones topple over when drunk.
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 65
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:24:13 PM

Bigger they are, they harder they call.. our centre of gravity is higher so we naturally fall over easier... thats my excuse and im sticking to it!


Sure...you probably just let them knock you down so you can show off what's under the kilt!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 66
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/1/2008 11:42:51 PM

So yea, despite all the frustration this thread led to for me, I did get the answers I needed and wouldn't expect to get into a relationship and have my guy be ok with it.


That's probably to your advantage in the long run. By understanding why a guy would object and being willing to placate him, you're more likely to earn his trust and end up being free to go back to the clubs to dance than if you took the militant approach.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 67
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:46:09 AM

LOL, I usually use my elbows but will also trip them as I see them approaching and catch it quick enough. If it's a frontal approach, both hands pushing them back is usually enough on a drunk guy. After he rights himself and sees his friends laughing their asses off at him, he usually gives up for the night.

It's actually pretty amazing how easily even big ones topple over when drunk


I would have an issue if my g/f was in a bar doing stuff like that^^^^^^
Maybe you've lucked out. I wouldn't want a call from a hospital saying my g/f was admitted because she was hit/beaten up my a bar patron.... it gives the relationship a bad appearance.

I wouldn't want to date a woman who spends nights fending off guys... there is nothing appealing about that whatsoever.
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 68
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:59:19 AM

Maybe you've lucked out. I wouldn't want a call from a hospital saying my g/f was admitted because she was hit/beaten up my a bar patron....


I've never had a guy get pissed off about it, why would they when they know they're out of line? It usually gets laughed off. This isn't some dive place in a bad neighborhood or anything and reality is, a woman can gett attacked anywhere, anytime. I also know there's bouncers in every direction within 5 feet of me so it's a pretty safe place.

I've been more afraid simply walking my lab through my neighborhood, which is a nice and normally very safe one but I've still had men pull up alongside me, yell out car windows, etc and I know for me at least, that made me feel a lot more unsafe as there was no one else in sight that could have helped if there was a problem. And unfortunately my lab fails at being protective, unless a chipmunk or squirrel attacks.
 night501
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 69
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Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:35:02 PM
i dont see anything wrong with it.
even if it was in a serious relationship i wouldnt see anything wrong with it.
some people are just really self concious about things like that.
some people get jelous.
but then again im a trusting person, although if she dose cheat there would be no way i would take her back. she would have totaly lost my trust.
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 70
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:51:20 PM

it would be dam interesting to see this thread in ask a women with the gender's reversed.


I don't disagree with you there at all. It would likely have similar results if the genders were reversed but still, the reality is, the "cookie jar" is everywhere and if someone is the cheating type, it doesn't take a club to bring it out of them.

As for the argument of leaving the child alone with their hand in the cookie jar, many would argue if one is never given trust, how will you ever know if it's deserved?

I trusted, got screwed over majorly. Doesn't mean I won't trust again as everyone is unique. Now would I have major issues with a man doing the same things my ex did which wound up involving his cheating? Of course, it's only natural for certain things based on our past experiences to make us wary. Thing is, his hand was never in a bar, club or anything remotely like it but he still saw his opportunity in what I would have considered the least likely of places and he took it.

People either deserve your trust or they don't. If they prove themselves unworthy it, better to know sooner then later but reality still is, we can't control every given situation. I understand people wanting to minimize risk and in a perfect world, that might work but not in the real one.
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 71
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:03:14 PM
All women just had this huge women's lib conference thing and decided to make you guys's lives Hell with these kinds of questions and silly ideas!!
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 72
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:07:58 PM
It just hasn't permeated every other facet of your life yet.

All in good time....
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 73
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:15:32 PM
Hey Nicegirl, try living up to your name sometime, ok? First your cougar comment here, posts about how immature and disgusting clubs are, followed by your insulting remarks to a guy who just wants to enjoy spring break in another thread...

You're holier then tho attitude is getting tiring. Try finding some enjoyment in your own life. Perhaps then you'll be less judgemental of others.

Get a little experience and maturity while you're at it. Then I just might care about your opinion.
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 74
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:41:02 PM

And you do seem to care what I think otherwise why so bitter?


Not bitter at all, I guess I just don't understand people who troll posts purely for the sake of injecting their judgemental remarks with no true intelligence or insight shown. Your forum history speaks for itself.


don't be glum, chum....just let's all move on :) sigh... I know you're replying already :(


Awww...how could I when you do the cute little sad face after switching personalities? I find it quite entertaining to be honest. Your pathetic attempt at reverse psychology above is really cute and all but you're still a child who has obviously not yet learned to judge themselves before others.

I believe you said this thread was boring you and it truly must be if you had nothing better to do then count my posts. Seeing as that must be your main form of entertainment, how could I possibly dissapoint you now?
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 75
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:06:55 PM
Cool, buy some life experience. Now stop wasting time on this thread and go post some more "nice" things to try to live up to your name.

Could take you a few days to clear your history.
 troy_boy
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 76
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:38:30 PM
no way nicegirl! you aint gettin out of this one. i just did up some popcorn---- and i got a beer. so unless you wanna come over here and entertain me you better get back to insultin my buddy red so i can laugh my @ss off at the holy jeepers sh!t kickin she laid on you. c'mon, who doesnt like a good ol fashion cat scrap? i do.
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 77
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:40:07 PM
I promise, if you ever post anything again, I"ll be the FIRST one on to say you're amazing and right and hot and RIGHT!!!


Nicegirl, I'd appreciate you just keeping your rude and judgemental attacks to yourself.

Condemning others for their choices, differences, age, etc may temporarily help you feel better about your own insecurities but is unproductive for others, uncalled for and downright rude. At least try to post something positive once in awhile, not just when you're called out on but as a habit. Just might make you feel a little better about yourself someday.

LMAO Troy, I just discovered how amazing key lime gelato is with pinot grigio. Beer and popcorn sounds good too. (Yes Nicegirl, truth is, we're all just a bunch of drunks. That's why we just can't understand or see just how nice you truly are).
 troy_boy
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 78
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:46:27 PM
yaaaaaaa red! go ta town girl! i aggree: mean people suck! my kind 'o gal!
 troy_boy
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 79
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:49:28 PM
hey red! wats with the nasties? i was gettin attacked on the profile reveiw forum under 'hellooo female critics" as well.
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 80
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:54:53 PM

hey red! wats with the nasties? i was gettin attacked on the profile reveiw forum under 'hellooo female critics" as well


Attacked? Eyesofdeepblue called you babe! Besides, they were right about your profile. I need to take a look at that now.
 troy_boy
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 81
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:27:00 PM
she did? sweet! i went and tweaked it, i dont think i'm gonna budge on the capitals thing thOugh. maybe i should.... nah i'll just start a forum about it and see if it really matters. yours is good -- i already snooped on it. couldnt message you though, i've messaged users that were looking for intimate encounters (not meaning that i was), so now i cant message some people. stupid computer.
 troy_boy
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 82
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:29:24 PM
whoa!easy nice girl. i did that on my own. i never met red. wait, you think i'm cute? how you dooin?
 liquidiced
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 83
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:14:58 PM
well if you ask me intuition never fails
 lateef7842
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 84
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History
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:59:44 PM
As a former club goer (I still go every couple of months), I know how you feel about wanting to get out, dance, feel the music, enjoy the attention and just have fun. Dancing is a great, expressive and creative way to burn off any negative energy you may have accumulated through the week.

With that said, I'm not sure if I could trust a woman who goes to clubs alone. I'm not saying this is you. As a matter of fact, from what you've written, you seem to be a very sweet and honest girl. But, most men deal with odds when it comes to relationships. And the odds are if a woman has the need to go to the clubs on a regular basis, shes not going to stay faithful long. In other words, all the other over 30 girls who go to clubs alone have ruined it for you.

I was one of those guys you'd see on the dance floor every weekend and some nights during the week. Because of it, I got to meet every type of girl you could imagine. And the ones a man would think were wholesome and faithful were some of the worst. They would tell their guys "I'm just out dancing and having fun!" There was always more to the "having fun" part than their men would ever guess.

I'm not saying you are like this. I'm just letting you know what goes on in a man's mind and his reasons for it. Most women who missed their "party years" when they were younger, and are in the clubs making up for lost time, are not girlfriend material. Because clubbing is something most people do in their late teens and twenties, it makes you seem immature. Men do not want to trust their hearts to, what they perceive to be, an immature woman. You're 35 and you like going clubbing alone. Those are red flags to most men and almost, instantly, removes you from "girlfriend material" status. So, unless you find a guy that likes to dance, or one who really, really trusts you, you are going to have problems in your dating life.

Also, keep in mind, dancing is an activity that is charged with sexual energy. Men know this. And, the type of man you are interested in, usually can't or, has no interest in dance. So, he is left with the idea of all that sexual energy being dispersed either at you, or by you. But, not with him.

It's not about the man being insecure. It's about the odds. And they have proven time and time again, that a middle aged woman who still has to go to clubs for fun, is a "short term" fling, at best. Think of it like this; what if you met a 35 yr old guy who still went to keg parties every weekend and hung out with strippers when you didn't have time to be with him? Would he be "boyfriend" material? I know it doesn't seem like a valid comparison, but thats how it will feel to the type of man you are looking for (based on your profile). I hope that helps



Lateef
 troy_boy
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 85
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/3/2008 8:23:09 AM
K nicegirl, I'm going to disable that feature, so message away! Picture smicture, right?
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 86
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History
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/3/2008 11:12:43 AM
I used to, but have changed my opinions on the subject, from experience. Maybe it's an age thing, but someone who's out in that scene on a regular basis isn't my type of woman anymore - not that they ever really were, frankly.

Hopefully, that's discovered early in the dating process, and ends it.
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:02:49 PM
I think trust is a two way street and well why would anyone want to
go to a club with they have someone that they are committed too in the
first place I'd rathe be with that someone special in my life and not in some
smokey filled club full of drunks on bar stools looking to get lucky LOL!
There is much better things women can do for a girls night than just hang
in a club and shake her butt. If shes committed to her man she will find other
means of having fun with the girls. I'm not passing judgement here but I'd
not go into bars without my mate thats just me I don't push my views down
anyones throats. But I'd rather be at home with my mate cuddling and watching
a good dvd and making out than in a smoke filled room. Also I would not be hanging
with the girls that much I'd be going out with my guy and other couples and as I
said trust is earned and a two way affair.

I know for a fact that when I'm committed to that someone it's him
and I'll not let other temptations ruin my relationship I hope
that my mate will trust my better judgement and well I know right from wrong.

Have
lots of self respect but as I said I'm not here to judge or push my views I'm just saying
this is how I am. I want him to trust me and I want me to trust him and believe in each
other. What are you going to meet in bars anyhow ?????? think about it!

I'd have to say my guy would have all of me,
there are other things to do besides going to clubs.

Good Topic Thanks To The Author For Posting It

Happy 4th Of July & Dating
Yours, Brenny
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